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saberlibrary · 1 year ago

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The Big Bad Wolf

Part XV

Word Count: 2,995

Warnings: canon violence

Note: Happy Valentine's day! :) I couldn't work today, so I pumped this ol' thing out.

The press of your soft lips lingered against Obito’s skin. It was welcomed at first, and it should have left him on cloud nine for hours afterward, but his mind could never let him soar so high.

His mind only steered his thoughts to the last kiss he had received before your’s. A flash of red, a bright smile; his memory was of Kushina pressing a kiss to the apple of his cheek. She was congratulating him for making chunin. She stepped backward into the waiting embrace of Minato-Sensei, and the two of them proudly grinned down at his little eleven-year old self.

He remembered the sense of pride and accomplishment filling his chest. He remembered the feeling of warmth and belonging as he looked up at their happy faces. That feeling was washed away by the swirling image of Kushina screaming in pain and horror as he extracted the Nine Tails from her stomach.

He tried to push it away, to escape the haunting image and chase those smiling faces, but all he could see was her tired, vulnerable state. She opened her mouth in his vision, and his ears rang with the sound of her pained screams.

A wave of nausea washed over him. Her screaming reverberated in his eardrums as he stumbled to the side of the path and fell to his knees. His guilt manifested itself in sudden, violent heaving.

“Obito?” Your alarmed voice barely reached his hunched over form.

Everything he had just eaten came up, burning his throat with every heave. He could hardly get a breath in; almost didn’t register your hand delicately coming to rest on his upper back as you silently supported him from behind. Your concern only made his guilt worsen, and his gasping for air intensified. He wanted to push you away, but all he could do was empty his stomach onto the frozen ground in front of him.

…

He refused to speak after that incident. He only wiped himself off with shaking hands and continued walking like nothing had happened. It wasn’t like he could explain himself to you; he was sure your look of horror would have matched his memory of Kushina’s.

You took the lead, periodically checking behind you to gauge his emotions. For a long while, silent tears streamed down his reddened cheeks. Eventually, though, the tears ended and he was only left with puffy red eyes.

You walked well into the night, silent except for the sound of your footsteps on the rocky path. It wasn’t snowy here, between the tall, rolling hills, so you kicked bits of gravel along the way just to fill the air with something other than your companion’s quietude.

His refusal to speak bothered you almost as much as his tears. It left your mind to run itself in circles. He wasn’t necessarily acting coldly, but he was withdrawn. What bothered you most is that you didn’t have a clue what happened, and couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment where something went wrong.

Under the light provided by the crescent moon, you spotted a cluster of trees. It was a small wooded area, but it would provide more cover that the long grasses for the night. You veered off the path and found a spot in the trees where a sliver of moonlight illuminated the ground between the branches. It was just enough to be workable, and you used it to start setting up the tent.

“Fire?” Obito croaked in his unused voice.

“Not tonight,”

You allowed him to help you raise the tent and stake the corners into the ground. You crawled in with both of your packs as he was finishing with the last one. You set your things up exactly how they had been the previous night, not allowing Obito the chance to distance himself further from you.

He entered and zipped up the tent flap behind him, turning to eye the conjoined sleeping bags dubiously. He was slow to approach as you crawled into it, a few words on the tip of his tongue, all of which refused to make it past his lips.

He slipped in beside you after shedding his outer layers, still lost in thought. He was only returned to the present by your gentle touch against his shoulder preventing him from turning onto his side to face away from you.

“Hey,” you said softly, the tone tickling his ears.

He met your worried eyes fully with his tired red ones. You brought your hand up to cup the scarred side of his handsome face, your thumb resting beneath his puffy eye. You brushed your thumb across his skin and he gulped, averting his eyes from the intensity behind your gaze. He didn’t know why he was letting you treat him so delicately when he vehemently felt he didn’t deserve it.

“Did I do something wrong?” You made yourself sound small, knowing that if he was faced with how upset you were, you were more likely to get a real answer from him.

“No,” his abrupt tone cut through the still air of the tent.

A low sigh escaped his lips. “You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just.. Me,”

Your brows furrowed and you swiped your thumb soothingly across his cheekbone, his weight resting in your palm. “Why are you so upset with yourself?”

His eyelids fluttered shut and he inhaled deeply. He willed himself to stay calm and not let another tear escape, if he had any left, at your tender treatment. Instead of choosing the real reason his mind had been plagued the last few hours, he led with what his first concern had been.

“I… scared you, earlier,” he admitted defeatedly.

You blinked in surprise. The movement of your thumb momentarily ceased and you considered him with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. Hesitantly, you replied, “You did,”

“But, that doesn’t mean I’m afraid of you, if that’s what you’re concerned about,”

He placed his hand over your wrist, and the silver chain suppressing his chakra peeked out beneath his long-sleeve. He studied for a moment and vice versa. You weren’t dumb, you were well aware that was only a fragment of the problem. If it had been the main issue, he would have been upset before the two of you dug into your lunches. You guessed that he had some thought that made him spiral, and that was the real issue at hand.

“You’re too trusting,” he said in a scolding manner.

“Is that so?”

He let out a short, self-deprecating laugh. “I could easily hurt you, y’know?”

You traced down the bridge of his nose with the thumb that had been stroking his cheek. And, with your heart beating irregularly, boldly swiped it across his bottom lip. You watched him shiver as his eyes bore into yours. You traced upwards again, along one of his scars before resting once again beneath his eye.

“You would never purposefully hurt me, Obito,”

Your trust and unwavering faith in him were clear as crystal in your even tone; leaving no room for argument. It cut him right through his core and left a ringing in his ears.

“How do you know?” He asked shakily.

“Because, the Obito I know doesn’t have it in him to,”

You looked at him squarely, your voice low and full of conviction. “The version of you that was capable of cruelty exists as no more than a memory, now,”

Obito could only let his jaw slacken, openly staring at you as he tried to process your words, his heart thundering in his chest. You watched as miniscule expression changes flickered across his face. After a while, he gently pulled your hand from his face and placed it next to your side.

“Thank you,”

He laid on his back and you mirrored his movements. Your shoulders touched beneath the covers and the two of you stared at the roof of the tent. Eventually, you grabbed your flashlight and flicked it off.

“Get some rest. You’ll need your energy for tomorrow,”

He hummed, and you prayed into the darkness that he would follow your direction.

…

You guiltily woke him between bouts of soft snoring before the sun had even had a chance to rise the next morning. You were too restless to wait any longer, and wanted to make it not long after the sun rose.

Obito groggily got himself up and was little help with deconstructing the tent. Evan as you started back on the trail he lagged behind, which was impressive considering how much longer his legs were than yours. It took a full half hour for him to wake up enough to keep pace with you.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” you teased when he finally fell into step beside you.

“Morning,” he grumbled.

“You know, while you were sleeping I was thinking…” you trailed off.

He glanced down at you. “About?”

“Well, I was wondering if you were going to let your clan die with you,” you mused quietly.

Obito stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“You’re the last one. Are you going to let the clan die out?” You continued walking, knowing he would catch up shortly.

“I’m not the last one, Sasuke is alive, too,” he replied in a low tone when he returned to your side.

You raised a brow and then chuckled. “Considering he and Naruto are getting married next year, I’d say he doesn’t really count,”

“He and.. What? Since when? I mean, we all saw it comin’ but..”

“A couple months after the war. Naruto didn’t tell you?”

“No, not at all,” he replied grumpily.

“Huh, the kid is shouting about his love constantly, that really surprises me,”

Obito didn’t respond. You glanced over and caught a hint of a pout on his lips.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,”

He grunted. “Whether I want to or not doesn’t matter. Who’s going to willingly have my children?”

“You’d be surprised,” you pressed on. “I mean, your genetic ability is impressive. I’m sure plenty of people would be more than happy to get a slice of that,”

He scoffed. “I think you’re forgetting something,”

“What?”

“I would have to.. Y’know… impregnate someone,” He winced at his own wording.

You giggled. “Y’make a little bit of unprotected sex sound like a bad thing. Has it really been that long for you?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“That long?”

“Since you had sex,”

Obito’s walking turned oddly stiff and he refused to meet your gaze when you looked over at him. He answered you under his breath so you couldn’t hear it.

“Huh?” You inched closer to hear him better.

He cleared his throat. “I haven’t,”

You looked at him with obvious shock. “You haven’t had sex?”

He shot you a glare and shook his head in confirmation. He turned his vision firmly to the gravel beneath his feet. You certainly weren’t expecting that. He was a powerful, handsome man; if you had entertained the idea of sleeping with him, other people certainly had to.

You remained quiet as you considered his words. Maybe he was asexual? Or was he saving himself for marriage? It had to be a purposeful avoidance on his part, that you were sure of. You thought of your own sexual life as a side note, and landed on the idea that maybe you should have waited for marriage, too, if that was his case.

“You think I’m a loser,” Obito stated.

You whipped your head around to look at his side profile. “No, not at all. Well, I think you’re a loser for other reasons -” You grinned and saw the corner of his lip twitch up. “I was just wondering.. How?”

He huffed out a dramatic sigh. “Between living in a cave, impersonating someone else for all of my interactions with other people, wearing a mask, and losing my first love, and acting out Madara’s evil plan, I just didn’t have the time or want,”

You hummed. “Yeah, that’ll keep you tied up, for sure,”

You actually hated the little niggling in the back of your mind that was excitement and intrigue. You hadn’t considered yourself someone with a corruption kink, but the image your mind conjured would certainly be considered something along those lines. You set that aside and made note of the part about lost love, which you remembered as somethin Kakashi had told you about.

“I’m not judging you for it, just so you know,”

He opened his mouth and closed it, opting to drop the conversation while you were giving him an out. A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you continued on through the darkness.

…

At about an hour or two outside of your destination, the weak winter sun began its ascent in the sky. The severity of the situation resettled onto your shoulders in increments equal to the path of the rising sun. The town of Bacial came into view shortly after the first rays of light dusted the long, tan, dormant grasses of the surrounding hills. It was bigger than you remembered, the buildings rising higher in the sky and more than one main road now visible leading out of the town. Hina’s aunt lived in the more rural, southern outskirts, where you two were coming in from, and you hoped there hadn’t been significant changes to the street or population in that area.

A strange sense of relief and apprehension mingled in your gut, causing hot and cold flashes across your body and sweat to spring up under your arms. Your pace increased.

You and Obito made small talk now that you were closer so that you were distracted from the increasing pressure you felt on your shoulders. The town loomed larger and time slowed so that seconds felt like minutes, and the rest of your walk was torturously slow right up until you were at the outskirts of town. You tried to appear calm and collected as you attempted recalling exactly how to get to the house. You wracked your brain for memories of what it looked like, and could only come up with a red roof and the first two numbers on the house: twelve.

You reached out and took Obito’s hand, just as you had when you reached the last town. You told him what you remembered and the two of you were on the search.

You led him down a few vaguely familiar streets, trying not to seem too lost. You recalled when you and Hina were just little girls, and you had been forced to memorize the street names because Hina kept getting the two of you lost, and kids that were late coming home for dinner didn’t get to have dessert. You smiled at the memory.

Instinctively, you turned right at the next intersection, and at the end of the street you spotted a small yellow house with a red roof. It took every bit of self restraint you had not to break into a sprint.

As you continued, Obito made sure to hold you back when your pace started to get a little too quick. Rationally, you wanted to thank him, but emotionally, well, you didn’t have very kind words for him. Only when you had approached the short front gate did he let go of you.

It was only waist-height, so you easily hopped it and ran through the overgrown grass to the front door, only briefly checking to see that the house number matched your memory. You banged your fist against the door, much more frantically than you had wanted to sound. It opened a moment later to a confused graying woman who you recognized despite the many years that had worn down her features.

“Aunt Daina, so good to see you! Do you remember me?”

A crashing noise sounded from somewhere in the house, and a very pregnant Hina came waddling as fast as she could to the door. She cried, “Y/n!”

She nearly pushed her aunt down coming over to hug you. You embraced her awkwardly, trying your best not to squish her belly. Aunt Daina watched the whole interaction with confusion. You let go of Hina and gently pushed her back into the house so that you and Obito could shut the door behind you.

Hina clung to your arm. With wide eyes and a trembling voice, she said, “Thank the heavens you’re here,”

Tears fell from her already bloodshot eyes. Deep purple hung beneath them, and as you took a closer look, you realized she likely hadn’t slept or showered since you had spoken to her over the phone. Her long black hair hung in a ratty mess down her back and around her face, like she had been twisting and pulling it without stopping.

You shushed her. “It’s okay, I’m here now. Just like I promised you,”

You two embraced once more, and you heard her aunt start asking Obito who you were, while treating him like a long time friend and patting his back. In Hina’s ear, you asked, “Have you showered?”

She shook her head. “Okay, we need to do that now. I can’t have you traveling and looking like this. It’ll look like we kidnapped you or something,”

She nodded and you led her to the bathroom. You helped her undress and step over the lip of the tub. “Do you have your things packed?”

“Yes, two bags. They’re in the living room, next to the couch,” She sniffled.

You sighed out in relief. “Perfect,”

You shut the shower curtain. “I’m going to-”

“Don’t leave! Please, can you just sit on the toilet and talk to me? I don’t want to be alone,” She begged, poking her head out of the shower..

Your heart could have snapped in two at the way her usually happy green eyes looked wild with desperation. With a soothing voice, you said, “Of course, I’ll stay,”

Tag List: @mostlyunsure, @humongousdreamlandbear, @ichaichahatake, @mandy-yeager, @detectivestucks

#saber reads #saber reads naruto #s.fav

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saberlibrary · 1 year ago

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We Can Switch Off

CHAPTER SUMMARY : yuuji is officially leaving for his three month long trip, and two of your acquiantances fight over who gets to take care of you in his absence

WARNINGS : 18+, long distance relationship, slight intimidation and name calling, relationship pressure, family difficulties.

WORDS : 4.7k

notes : the only consistency on this blog is how inconsistent i am with posting wusyaname LMAO

LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

This is it. Today’s the day.

He’s leaving you.

You've been bawling since you woke up. You feel guilty, you do, because you want to be strong for Yuuji. But you can't. Three months without him is going to be near impossible, he’s your everything, after all.

It's hard for him, too. He doesn’t want to cry and make it a million times worse; but he's hanging on by a skinny and frayed thread.

Watching him load his luggage into Gojo's car made your tears flow at an accelerated pace.

Yuuji sat in the backseat with you rather that in the passenger seat with Gojo, and it made your heart wrench all the more. Trying to let him go in the airport is the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

He's just as devastated as you are.

And he hates that he has to leave you because of his fucking scholarship. There’s one thing he knows for sure…

He’ll never forgive himself if Fushiguro does something while he’s away.

You sit up front with Gojo as he drives you back home. He’s sweet, you think, although you’ve heard he has an irritating cocky side to him at times; he’s being sweet for the time being. He doesn’t mind that you’re still sniffling.

Yuuji is gone… He’s officially gone.

Silent tears have replaced your inconsolable blubbering. You know you’ll see him soon, but for now, it hurts. You feel like you’re dying. But that’s just it, it’s how you feel. And right now, in this moment, your brain can do nothing but replay the way he held you close before leaving. The few singular tears that you felt seep into your hair. The endless forehead kisses and the way he whispered ‘I love you’ so quietly that only you could hear.

It's like a movie you're being chained up and forced to observe. So, as much as you want to cease the flow of tears, it's an impossibility.

“I’ll leave my number for you,” Gojo speaks, breaking the natural silence between you both. “you know, in case you need anything.”

You wipe the tears on your cheeks with the back of your hands with little care, still feeling the damp smeared across your face. Your under-eyes, however, you take much more care to wipe gently with the pads of your fingers.

It’s the first time you’ve looked at yourself today. It’s been odd to see your face as bare as it is now for many days in a row. It isn’t you, but it is, really. It’s a reminder of how pathetic you really are. You’ve become too dependent on Yuuji and you’ve bent yourself to his every will just to please him, which you don’t mind, though you can’t deny it’s pathetic.

But he does it all for you, anything you want. Everything you want. Fuck. How are you going to handle being without him? The dark bags under your eyes are screaming at you with everything they have. There are three men in your life who call you princess with different intent behind the word, and yet somehow they’re all right. You are a princess, you need to be taken care of.

And now, you’re alone.

Maybe you should use this alone time to gain some semblance of independence.

“I know Yuuji told you to keep an eye on me while he’s gone.” you speak, it’s monotone and unbothered. You don’t care that Yuuji asked that of his friend and you don’t care that Gojo obeyed his order. If that’s what Yuuji thinks is best, fine. It’ll give him peace of mind, at the very least, to know at least someone has your back.

“You’re right about that,” he smiles, continuing to drive casually as if he’s been doing it since the day he was born, “but I wouldn’t offer unless I wanted to.”

Sweet. Satoru Gojo is sweet.

So, you smile. And you nod. And you tell him that you’re thankful and appreciate his kindness. Because that is the polite thing to do, yes, but it’s also the truth.

He parks outside of your home. You want nothing more than to be alone. All you want to do is cry in the privacy of your own home. And yet, when Gojo offers to come in, you don’t deny him.

Immediately he pulls out a pen and finds something to scribble his number onto. Urging you to keep it safe. Your stoic expression turns into a smirk with an amused raise of one eyebrow. You extract your phone from your pocket and save his number among your contacts. He chuckles at that.

The simplicity of youth.

“I don’t just mean errands or other tedious shit though, sweetheart.” he begins, picking up the earlier conversation in the car as he makes himself comfortable. “If you’re missing him, call me. If you want some company or just a friendly ear, call me.” he insists. You nod from the kitchen as you prepare coffee for both of you. It’s been a long morning, and you certainly need a pick me up.

“You’re nothing like Yuuji said you are.” you tease, settling the drinks down on top of the coffee table. Gojo rolls his eyes, he’s sure he knows exactly how Yuuji said he is. But he doesn’t argue with you about it.

It’s nice.

Being with Gojo is nice, because it’s rare you’re in the company of someone who appreciates Yuuji as much as you do. It’s been a crushing blow to realise that you have less friends in your life than you thought you did, the amount now totalling at zero.

Your classes are going to be hell, because while it’s true you have no friends, at least you had an escort in the form of your pink-haired lover who always made you feel like the world was at your feet. He’d never let you be alone… not until now, at least.

“Yuuji left his car, he told me you know how to drive. Is that true?” Gojo questions, it’s almost like an accusation, although you’re sure there’s no malice behind it. You nod your head, you do have a license.

“I know how, but I’m rusty. Yuuji drives me everywhere, these days. I’m a little nervous to be driving again actually… I’ve lost my confidence.” you explain before blowing on your steaming cup of coffee. You’re desperate for a sip. You need a caffeine injection to make the rest of the day bearable. It confuses you when Gojo begins to shake his head at your comment.

“I’ll drive you,”

“But—”

“It’s fine. I have no plans tomorrow so I’m happy to.”

You find it odd that somebody you barely know seems to want to help make your life easier in any way that they can. It’s also comforting. You’re already lost without Yuuji; and yet it’s almost a relief to have Gojo try and fill his shoes in the mundane sense.

It’s a weight off your shoulders knowing you don’t have to stress yourself sick worrying about your driving skills, or lack there of. Even if it is only for one day. With the devastation of Yuuji being out of your life for three months, everything feels incredibly delicate.

With a tender heart so raw you think it might be bleeding, you worry what a menace you could be to other drivers.

“Thank you, Gojo.” you nod, accepting his incredibly kind offer.

He comments on your appearance the minute you step foot inside of his car. The first time you met him you were covered in paint, pee and your own sick. And the second time was yesterday, bare faced and tear stricken. It was almost like you were mourning your boyfriend’s death. But today, he can’t help but compliment you on how well you’ve scrubbed up for class.

You’re still hurting, of course, but you decide to prematurely end your pity party. You’ve been feeling sorry for yourself time and time again in recent weeks, and though it’s likely that you will again, you have made the decision to end it today.

The drive is casual, asking each other how you slept and what you got up to after Gojo left. He already knows that you’re lying as soon as words start tumbling rapidly out of your mouth. You suspected that he’d ask that question, so you prepared a lie.

He knew though, because what else were you going to do other than curl under your duvet and cry? It’s not something he’d hold against you, it’s very apparent to him that you’re deeply in love with your boyfriend. And maybe you’re a bit more of a baby than you’d care to admit.

He leaves you with a wave. And he doesn’t fail to mention that he’ll be here to pick you up right on time. You smile widely as you watch him speed away, he must have lied to you too.

It seems he did have plans today after all.

The thumping in your chest might just be the loudest sound in the room as you enter your class. They’re here. They’re all here. And early, at that. The girls eye you up, looking a particularly irritated when they notice how good you look for the first time in a while.

Megumi pays you no mind, though. He seems to be keeping his word, staying clear and leaving you alone. For the most part, anyway, you’re sure if you give him enough time, he’ll find an excuse to pester you.

At least he seems to have toned down his usual brand of bullying.

It is becoming tiresome that everyone seems to look at you with sympathetic, pitiful gazes. You didn’t think you’d mind it so much that everyone knew about the incident at the club, but you didn’t think the poor victim glances would still be ongoing.

It’s not lost on you that your professor seems disappointed in your progress, too. Everything is becoming too much. Hell would freeze over before you took your teachers advice and allowed Megumi to help you with your work. Your eyes feel pain, the type of vibrating pain you feel when you know you’re about to cry. You said you wouldn’t do this. But now, looking through the pages of your pathetic sketchbook, you feel… empty. There isn’t a single feeling of love or pride as you look at your work. It isn’t you, not anymore. It isn’t yours.

You’re a fraud, you suppose.

You stand to leave; you can’t cry again today and not in front of these people. If the one last shred of control over your life is to no longer give your classmates fuel to feel anymore pity or joy at your expense, you’ll be damned if you don’t take it. Your chair scraping across the floor gains the attention of everyone in the room, but before you can leave your professor turns to face you.

“Please sit down, there’s something I want to tell you all before anyone tries running away early.” he sighs.

It’s humiliating. You weren’t ‘running away’ at all. All you wanted was five minutes. Five fucking minutes to get some air, get some solitude and focus your energy on holding in your tears. Except apparently that’s more than too much to ask right now.

“I wasn’t, I just—”

“I’ve arranged a trip for us all out of town, and it’s mandatory.” he interrupts, not bothering to wait until you’ve settled back down into your seat.

This is it. Everything is crumbling around you. How the fuck are you going to survive an entire day out of town with these people? You won’t, you can’t. Everything else he said after that initial sentence is being tuned out. The only thing running through your mind is how to get out of it. A fake death in the family? A doctors appointment? Maybe your parents would provide a good excuse. No, none of it was good enough. It’s mandatory.

You have to do this.

And you’re going to have to do it alone.

“Didn’t get much work done today, O’Keeffe.” Megumi taunts as he sways by you, eager to flee the classroom at the end of the day. He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, by the time your lips fall open to object to the nickname he’s already ten paces ahead of you.

You did it. You made it to the end of the day without bursting into tears. And you did it without Yuuji. You’re sure he’d be proud, hell, you’re proud of yourself. Maybe you’ll reward yourself with a shopping spree, that usually takes the edge off. Even if it is often just a momentary relief.

It’s funny, when you step into the parking lot and see Megumi still waiting there. He was so keen to rush away and get out ahead of you. But now, you’re almost standing by his side as you wait for Gojo. His flickering gaze doesn’t go unnoticed.

He’s getting predictable, he can’t seem to help himself when you’re around. And it makes you wonder if he’s holding back on you because Toji told him to, or because of the kiss.

Megumi’s eyes squint as Gojo’s car turns into a space, it’s like he recognises it. He does. Your boyfriend isn’t the only one who has a friendship with him, it seems. Gojo doesn’t bother getting out of the car; but he does wave at Megumi. He doesn’t want to hold back anymore, this has given him the perfect excuse to talk to you.

“You know him?” Megumi wonders. You nod, what else is there to say? You aren’t friends and you don’t want to talk to him. If you were smart, you wouldn’t have even given him the effort it took you to nod. It's clear that you’re too nice for your own good.

A scream rips from your chest as an all too familiar car zips by you, almost knocking you on your ass from the breeze it gives off alone. Megumi can do nought but smirk. And that catches your attention. He’s mocking you, but what’s new? It’s almost like he’s telling you that you’re an idiot and should watch where you’re going. As if the vehicle in question isn’t going way over the speed limit. The driver parks and steps out, waving at you with his keys in his hand.

“Heya, princess.” Toji smiles. “Get in the car shit head.” he directs his son, his thumb pointing in the direction of the passenger side. He’s parked right by Gojo, prompting both yourself and Megumi to walk over to your respected rides home.

“Don’t you know how to drive?” you ask, accidentally aloud. He seems like the type who does, so it begs the question of why he doesn’t drive himself around.

“Don’t you? Or are you too much of an entitled bitch to do it yourself?” he mutters, hoping his father doesn’t overhear his crass comment. He clears his throat, not to issue an apology, he stands by what he said. But he decides to answer your almost invasive question. “I don’t have a car, yet.”

You nod, satisfied with the answer although regretting asking at all. Toji has noticed the tension between you, but all of your focus for now is on Gojo. Getting home is your top priority, although you weren’t looking forward to spending the evening in yours and Yuuji's home all by yourself. Gojo pulls his sunglasses down from the bridge of his nose to the tip. Your stomach clenches as he steps out of the car.

What the fuck is he doing?

It seems he’s following a voice, and when he finally locates the source, his face is unrecognisable. A grin wider than you’ve ever seen and bulging eyes you worry are probably hurting him. It’s Toji, he recognises.

It really is a small world.

“Toji Fushiguro? Playing daddy day care at last, I didn’t know you were visiting town.” he teases.

The scowl that splays across Toji’s expression is recognisable, but also not, at the same time. You’re sure you’ve seen that very same facial contortion as he bullies his son, putting him into place and demanding obedience. He's furious. But again, it’s a slightly different sight to what you’ve seen before. Toji wouldn’t hesitate to smack his son if he stepped out of line. But the way he’s looking at Gojo…

It’s like he could kill him.

“Fuck are you doing here?” he asks your alabaster haired chauffer. Megumi rolls his eyes, instantly getting into the car. It’s like he’s seen this dance a million times before. He’s over it. But you… are very intrigued.

“Collecting her, obviously.” he replies. The lack of use of your name makes you tense, but before you can tell him to be more polite, Toji opens his mouth to speak. But Gojo doesn’t let him get a word in quite yet. “Getting Megumi’s hopes up again I see. How long until you let him down this time? Since we both know you won’t be sticking around.” Gojo snidely comments. Toji grits his teeth, slamming a palm down on the hood of his car and pointing rudely at Gojo with the other hand.

“Watch your fucking mouth, because I’m sticking around for good.” he announces. Gojo scoffs, as if he’s heard that a few times in his life. It matters not to him, however, but he does care about Megumi. He knows it’ll mess him up even more if he skips town on him again. “Where’s Yuuji? I thought you kept better company than this.” Toji queries. You shake your head, not willing to divulge where your boyfriend is for fear of crying about it again.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on her while Yuuji is out of the country, so I think you’ll be seeing a lot of me from now on, Toji.” Gojo smarms, clearly relishing in how irritated his acquaintance is.

Toji gets into his car and slams the door behind him, wasting no time departing the scene. Gojo shrugs with a sneer etched on his face, a characteristic that you’re beginning to recognise as quintessentially Gojo. You get in the car, not acknowledging or discussing anything you’ve just witnessed. It’s clear they’ve got history. They have obvious beef between them, but you find yourself being unable to care, instead worrying that you might become a pawn in their game.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he tells you as you step out of the car. You turn, awkwardly, to face him. That wasn’t the plan. You’re pretty confident this was just a favour for today. Doesn’t he have a life of his own?

“That’s not what you said yesterday.” you alert him. He nods in agreement. Can’t a guy change his mind?

“Yeah, but did you see how pissed Fushiguro was? I’ll be more than happy to be your driver if it bothers him that much.” he chuckles, it’s obvious that he’s proud of himself and his petty idea. So, you smile back, but it’s out of obligation more than amusement.

“Don’t bother, please.” you tell him. “I have zero desire in being a rope in a game of tug of war.” you explain, turning on your heel to enter your home.

“Fine, suit yourself. Have fun driving yourself tomorrow.” he tells you, starting his car back up to leave. “Don’t be afraid to call me though…” he finishes, finally pulling out of the parking space.

You offer a flimsy wave as you watch him leave. Despite everything you said, you are grateful to him and the acts of kindness he has offered in the wake of Yuuji’s absence. But you do hope you can get through this alone. You don’t want to resort to calling Satoru Gojo every day.

It’s a miracle you’d managed to stay strong all day. And yet, your will soon crumbles after an unexpected phone call from your mother. She rarely calls. All correspondence is usually via handwritten letters, she’s old fashioned liked that.

Unfortunately, she's calling with intent, and somehow she’d caught wind of Yuuji’s absence. It doesn’t take long for you to connect the dots in your head.

Megumi ➪ Toji ➪ Your mother.

It’s a good thing that he’s left you, according to her. She implies that you’ll come to realise how much better off you are without him while he’s gone. He isn’t right for you. He’ll never fit in to your world. It’s the same old fucking story you’ve heard time and time again. But even you don’t fit into your stupid little world. You want to make your own world with him.

“Naoya has been visiting us, I think you should give him another chance.” she tells you, a coercive tone in her poisonous words. You hope she hears the loud, disapproving scoff that bursts from your throat. That will never happen. Not in this lifetime nor the next. In fact, if you never see Naoya again you’re sure it’ll be too soon.

“Goodbye, mother.”

At least you stayed strong until you hung up. But you can’t help but cry when the silence in the house hits your heart like a stake in a vampire’s chest.

You’d kill to have Yuuji around right now, comforting you, telling you that your mother can’t keep you apart. He won’t let her. Nothing will change that, not even this distance between you for three months.

Your skin almost peels off and splats against the ceiling when your doorbell unexpectedly rings. Maybe it’s Gojo returning to apologise. He doesn’t seem like the apologising type, though, he could be here for any reason. There’s no way you’ll be able to cover up the fact that you’ve been crying; so you choose not to even bother. But that’s a decision you find yourself regretting when you find Toji at your front door.

“Hey… Woah, princess, you been cryin’?” he asks. You nod, but brush it off with a flimsy wave as you sidestep, allowing him to come inside. Toji is the last person you expected to see. Actually, maybe second last. You’re sure Megumi would sooner see himself dead before he comes to your door for any reason.

He seems worked up. Neither of you bother sitting down, it’s obvious he has no intention to stay. You don’t even understand why he’s here. What possible reason could he have for turning up unannounced like this? On further thought, though, you can’t really blame him for not letting you know. It’s not like he has any of your contact information. And you’d sooner give Naoya a chance before you handed them over to Megumi.

“What’s wrong?” you wonder.

“Nothin’,” he lies. You can see that he’s trying to figure out what he wants to say in his mind. He’s agitated and fidgeting. It’s a far stretch from the Toji you’re used to, the man who oozes confidence and has everyone in a room hanging on his every word. “listen, I’ve been thinkin’ I could take you to school instead of Gojo from now on.”

You sigh, heading towards the sofas nearby to get comfortable. You aren’t expecting a long conversation, but you doubt it’ll be short either. If possible, you want to avoid any backstory about the drama between them.

“I told Gojo I don’t want to be part of whatever this is already. I don’t want to be used so you can score points on each other, so I told him not to bother getting me tomorrow.” you announce. Toji smirks at that, clearly satisfied that Gojo hasn’t sunken his claws into you. But he isn’t fully satiated, he isn’t finished.

“I heard about Yuuji leaving for a while.” he hums, taking a seat on the couch opposite to you. He rests his arms on his thighs and focuses all of his attention on you. “Wanna talk about it?” he adds. You sneer at that.

“Haven’t you done enough talking about it to my mother?” you question, your gaze pointed and furious. His eyebrows furrow, perplexed by the statement.

“Huh?”

It’s earnest. You can see it clearly, he had nothing to do with your mother finding out about Yuuji leaving. Which begs the question, who the fuck told her? You shrug it off, telling him to disregard your comment.

You’re just… stressed.

“I don’t want to talk about it, anyway. Sick of talking about it to be honest.”

“Fine.”

It’s awkward. You’ve never felt like this around Toji before. It makes you wonder if this might be how Megumi feels around his father on a day-to-day basis. At a loss of what to say and uncomfortable in his presence. It’s strange to have him be like this, he’s always been talkative with you since your parents’ party. It almost feels like he’s doing it on purpose.

“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m not the most liked guy around.” he begins, glaring down at his feet as he speaks. It’s amusing to you, and even he can’t help but grin when he notices you smiling. Toji? Disliked? Shocker! “It doesn’t bother me since I don’t like a lot of people either. But you… I don’t know. I’ve got a soft spot for ya, I suppose.”

“I think it’s guilt.”

“What?”

“You just feel guilty because Megumi has been bullying me and it’s mostly your fault. You don’t have a soft spot for me. It’s just guilt.” you lecture, earning a grunt from your elder friend.

“Yeah, I do feel guilty. So fucking what, huh? Doesn’t mean I don’t care about ya. You aren’t in my head and you don’t know how I fucking feel, so if I’m sayin’ I’ve got a soft spot for you then I do. Got it?”

You roll your eyes, you didn’t mean to get so under his skin but hearing him go off at you like this is new territory. It’s like he’s your dad. And to be honest, that thought doesn’t infuriate you. Anything is an upgrade compared to your real parents, after all.

“Where are you going with this?” you inquire, sounding unbothered to mask how curious you are. He ruffles his hand through his hair quickly before sitting upright to face you again.

“Let me drive you around. Not because of Gojo. Because of me. I want to because I want to, not for any other reason. I wanna help you out babe.” he speaks sincerely. It’s bizarre to think you know him so well considering you’ve known him for barely any time at all. You can’t help but find yourself drawn to him. Attached to each and every word he says. And you trust him. You aren’t sure why, no one else does. But for whatever reason, you do.

“What about—?”

“Megumi’ll leave you alone,” he cuts you off before you can even voice the thought, “’m not gonna tell him to take a hike though, you know I’m tryna make things better between us.” he continues. “But I’ll make him sit in the back if you want. Or— I don’t know we’ll figure it out.”

“Okay then…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “I’ll let you be my ride.”

You hope your words hide the doubt in your tone. It’s too late to turn back now. Toji grins from ear to ear, you can’t quite believe how overjoyed he is. His expression doesn’t dispel the doubts you’re feeling. Though you’re sure nothing ever could where Megumi is concerned. But, you trust him.

You trust Toji to keep you safe.

#saber reads #saber reads jjk #s.fav

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saberlibrary · 1 year ago

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there's no men for me in this world.

holy fuck.

(i'll stick with fictional ones <3)

#pissed off #saber rants

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saberlibrary · 1 year ago

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kakashi

#saber appreciates fanart #kakashi of mine 🤍

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saberlibrary · 1 year ago

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words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful:

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain:

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted:

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe:

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank

#s.writing tips

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