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saxolotl6 · 6 years ago

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I sent you a message yesterday that I'm pretty sure got eaten by some error tumblr was having at the time, but the gist of it was that Downton Abbey creates a ton of cognitive dissonance in the viewer because it's a comedy of manners and meanwhile Thomas and Thomas only is trapped in a gothic horror. To the point that he tries to sacrifice his (sinful) flesh and blood to escape. Even if it means death. And the only time it works is during the war, and then never again.

no i didn’t get this originally but fuck

absolutely

downton is a comedy of manners but Downton is a haunted house, and thomas is the only one who knows it; he’s also the only one the house seems hellbent on eating alive, but it’s a chicken-and-egg thing, thomas-and-misery. the house seems to haunt him and him alone but maybe it’s like oedipus, how you can spend your whole life staving off attackers you alone can see only to realize you’ve played right into their hands. like, oh hell yeah, i avoided unemployment and destitution, take that downton!!!! you can’t get rid of me!! i’m the boss now; i beat the game. >> i’m going to die in this house by my own design; i’m shackled here for life, the game beat me. the realization that there are as many ways to be imprisoned as there are to deserve it.

you know the saying, “the house always wins”? yeah.

tbh one of my favorite little-noticed character details about thomas is this kind of underlying paranoia in everything he does, like he really thinks that people are out to get him & that if he shows his throat for even a moment they’ll succeed & bring him down. it’s partially a delusions of grandeur thing (not LITERAL grandeur but you know he thinks he’s some kind of smooth talking evil genius motherfucker which he only really was when he had o’brien in his corner doing the actual thinking. and EVEN THEN) but also partly a very understandable fear about loss of livelihood, loss of stability, loss of safety, that comes with being closeted & gay in a house where “walls have ears”. and part of the reason 3x07 is so fucking hard to watch is that it’s about thomas’ literal worst fear becoming reality. he was right all along. they were watching him, they were after him, they were waiting to pounce. it’s like: you kissed the wrong person in the wrong room at the wrong moment and one person saw and someone else talked and the next thing you know they’re calling the cops on you and worse than that, the people you half-envy half-despise for their perfect safe lives are pitying you. it’d be funny if it weren’t uh. devastating. (there’s an element of the greek tragedy to thomas but weirdly farcical and devoid of empathy. in shakespeare he’s malvolio or shylock, he’s brought to his knees before a crowd for something he really thought would free him. he is at once too large for his story and completely overpowered by it. even iago saw some bodies hit the floor before they dragged him off to die.)

going back to the wwi thing i now really really want to go back and track all of thomas’ physical wounds through s6. i’m kind of obsessed with how you point out that s2 was the first & last time one of thomas’ schemes worked. like i joke about how the isis thing was the only time he ever actually succeeded in manipulating someone (because it is hilarious) but you’re so right, the hand counts too and it might be worth noting that 1) this takes place outside of downton, this was during the Thomas At Large period. Thomas Takes Manhattan and 2) that thomas can’t die in the trenches, especially not in 1914. he has to return to the house somehow. it’ll kill him in the end but not until it’s taken him for all he’s got.

because then you’ve got him getting beat up for jimmy in s3 and shot up with needles in s5, which aren’t really “sacrifices” more like sins themselves; i think about the mirroring of the kiss scene (jimmy’s room) and the newspaper scene (thomas’ room), each a distinct humiliation, the awful moral logic of downton: he can stay in the house and be unrequitedly in love but he has to get the shit beaten out of him to atone for it. or in s5 (oh don’t get me fucking started on s5) the clarkson scene and the baxter scene after that and the conclusion that storyline comes to, that it’s okay for thomas to be gay because he’s suffered enough for it; because he’s driven himself to feverish corpselike madness (VERY gothic) and afterwards he accepted clarkson’s condescension and baxter’s sympathy and was one step closer to being… beaten, accepted, tolerated, to being One of Them. i mean at that point it was either this or start clawing off the wallpaper.

and then, as a final, desperate sacrifice to the house, a plea for it to let him go, he becomes the second wounded ex soldier to razor his wrists at downton abbey. in the context of the story, it’d have almost been kinder if they’d let him die there. but this is downton, and not only is thomas living in a gothic horror story (which might have done so) that horror story takes place within downton, a comedy of manners. lady mary has to pick a suitor, and she’s running out of time. and thomas has been dragged out of the bathtub and propped up bandaged on a bed, ready to dispense wisdom. that’s the cognitive dissonance, right there, the horror packaged up neatly in white, the orange thrown into a howling void no one can look at directly, because if you did you wouldn’t be watching Downton anymore. this final sacrifice being the one that earns him what seems at first to be the great escape but falls through like a trapdoor into—surprise!—the house again. just like his wounded hand saves him from the trenches but returns him to downton, where he will only ever take his glove off for o’brien.

tl;dr: sins of the flesh in-fucking-deed.

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saxolotl6 · 6 years ago

Text

If The Hargreeves Had Arrived First.

Hey y’all.

Here’s just a little something I wrote today when I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. It’s my idea of what might’ve happened if the Hargreeves would have come to find Allison and Vanya first after Vanya slit Allison’s throat. Please let me know how you like it!

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The screams coming from the house were unlike any the group has heard before.

“Come on!” Luther calls as they jump from the car, though there is no need. They run up the stairs of the cabin and crash through the front door. The scene confronting them is almost beyond comprehension. Vanya lays atop Allison on the floor, screaming and clutching at her lifeless hands. A pool of blood spreads outward from the two of them, covering their clothes and skin, the source indiscernible were Allison not on the brink of unconsciousness.

Without thinking, Luther rushes forward and throws Vanya back. She’s sobbing, in a panic, almost unable to form coherent sentences.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She sobs over and over.

“What happened?” Luther demands, not connecting the dots. Klaus scoops Vanya up from behind, wrestling the bloody violin bow from her weak fingers. Horror dawns and he allows it to clatter to the floor. He holds her to him, unsure if he should be disgusted or afraid. Diego examines her bloody hands and then the fading Allison on the floor and comes to the same conclusion.

“Shit,” Five swears under his breath, in disbelief.

“We have to go,” Diego croaks, not knowing how else to take the first step. “Now!” Luther turns on the others, his eyes lost in rage and sorrow.

“Did you do this?!” He screams at Vanya, who sobs and crumples to the floor. He makes a move for her, but Diego steps between them.

“We’ll deal with her later,” He promises. “Allison can’t make it much longer.” Knowing he is right, everyone snaps out of it and springs back into action. Together, they gather Allison’s weak form and Vanya’s distraught one and march back to the car. There aren’t enough seats for them all.

“There isn’t room for her,” Luther snarls, indicating Vanya, who has quieted and descended into concerning despondence. She looks back at him with fearful, glassy eyes.

“I’ll take her,” Five volunteers snappily, stepping between them and seizing Vanya’s arm. “I’ll be back for Allison in just a second.” Though he knows it would be logical to take the dying one first, he does not want to leave Vanya alone with the others for even a second. Not before he’s had a chance to talk to her. With a pop and a flash, they disappear from the lakefront and reappear in the living room of The Umbrella Academy. Vanya blinks and wheezes, unaccustomed to teleporting.

“You’re alright,” Five says, leading her gently to the couch.

“I can’t – I don’t…” She mumbles, pawing uselessly at his hands as she settles down.

“Shhh,” He says. “I’ll be back in just a second. Wait here. Got it?” Vanya nods numbly and he disappears again, grimacing. He wouldn’t like to imagine what happened, though he fears the truth is inescapable. He jumps the others one by one back and forth, sending them to the infirmary of The Umbrella Academy where Pogo happened to be waiting. They get to work on Allison, and not five minutes later, Five returns to the living room to question Vanya before anyone else can.

“Are you okay?” He asks severely. Vanya looks up at him like a child caught red handed. And what a coincidence there is still blood on her hands.

“Is Allison…?” She gapes at him, lost in herself.

“They’re seeing to her now.” He tells her, settling on the opposite couch. She nods, moving her gaze back to some nothing across the room.

“What happened?” He asks again, not wanting to lose his patience but needing answers.

“I don’t… we were fighting, and… things just” – she shakes her head, closing her eyes against the memory – “got out of control.”

“What do you mean?” Five presses, clenching his fists. He can’t imagine Vanya snapping in such a way.

“I” – she lets out a noise between a squeak and a moan – “can’t… explain. I’m sorry,” She sighs, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around her legs. Tears squeeze from her shut eyes. Five fights his instinct to be annoyed and looks at her a long time.

“Vanya, what does this have to do with Har… Leonard?” He catches himself wisely before using the wrong name. Her eyes open and she stares, scarred, at the floor.

“Oh no,” She whines. “I left him there. I–”

“No, Vanya, this is a good thing. He’s… not what you think.”

“What do you mean?” She whines, louder, taking him by surprise. “This is what Allison wouldn’t shut up about. And now she’s… she’s…”

“She was telling the truth.” Five admits dully. “Leonard is Howard Jenkins. And he’s been using you.”

“No,” Vanya breathes, disbelieving still.

“Yes.” Five is adamant. “Though using you for what, exactly, I don’t know…”

“My powers.” Vanya says, barely more audible than a thought.

“What?” Five says, unsure he’s heard her correctly.

“I have powers,” She says simply, looking through her lashes at him for the first time. “I discovered them with Leonard and… he’s been… helping me.” Five decides not to correct her on the use of the name.

“What do you mean ‘powers?’” He asks, skeptical.

“I mean I can control things, make things move, sometimes when I want to and when I don’t.” Five couldn’t believe his ears. How is it possible that ‘extra ordinary’ Vanya could have powers?

“I don’t see how that’s possible…” He admits.

“It is.” She snaps, looking at him more fiercely now. “But I… and then… Allison…” She breathes, folding back over and hiding her face. Five swallows and hesitates. Everything about the situation screams caution! but right now his heart is going out to her. Perhaps this isn’t the best time to resolve this.

“Come here,” Five says, moving around the coffee table and closing the space between them. He takes her hands and finds them still sticky with Allison’s blood. “Let’s clean you up.” He says, pulling her defeatedly to her feet and leading her in a shuffle to the second-floor bathroom. She turns the water in the basin pink as it swirls down the drain. She gags, crumpling to the floor, and unable to continue. Five takes a rag to her skin and scrubs the drying blood away vigorously, not unaccustomed in dealing with the stuff himself. But his sister’s blood, on his other sister’s hands? The thought nearly makes him shudder, but he represses it for Vanya’s sake. She has gone back to staring despondently into nothing. Her lips move.

“What?” Five snaps unintentionally, leaning in to catch her words.

“I have to get out of here.” She whispers dazedly. “They won’t let me stay. I can’t ever explain it. They won’t believe me. They’ll despise me.”

“Who?”

“The Umbrella Academy.”

“Look at me, Vanya,” He says earnestly, grabbing her chin and forcing her to respond. “I’m right here, and I don’t despise you.” She stares back at him, nothing in her face changing, but looks away again and falls silent. Five sighs, worried for her and wanting to protect her from the others if it comes to it. How will Allison feel towards her once she wakes up? If she wakes up, he reminds himself, and suppresses another shudder. Her hands and arms are clean, but her clothes are still stained.

“Come on,” Five says, pulling them both up from the floor. “Lets get you come clean clothes.” Vanya allows him to pull her through the house, ending up eventually at her closet of an old bedroom. He pulls open the drawers of the dresser left behind, but they’re all empty.

“Uh,” He hesitates. “Looks like we’ll have to borrow some from someone else.” They make their way further down the hall. Five decides that none of Allison’s clothes will fit her, so he pushes his way into Klaus’s bedroom and helps himself to the closet and the drawers, coming back up with a tie-dye t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants which he can only pray are clean.

“Put these on,” He commands, placing the garments into her unresponsive hands and shoving her into Klaus’s room to change. He has to knock when he thinks she’s finished, and peaks inside cautiously to find her sitting emptily on the end of Klaus’s bed, changed in fit but not in manner. He picks up her shed clothes from the floor. The sweater can only be Leonard’s.

“We’ll burn these.” He says with a small smile, hoping to humor her but failing. Tucking the clothes under his arm, he wraps one arm around her shoulders and tugs her along with him from the room. Her feet shuffle lazily along the floor, as if she has no care whether she trips or not on one of the many thick rugs that lay in the hall. Five says nothing as they slowly descend the staircase, move into the living room, and settle down shakily before the fireplace. He gracefully heaps kindling and newspaper together and sets a match to the pile, sending it up in flames. Dusting off his hands, he leans back to sit with Vanya and silently wait for the flames to grow high enough to destroy the blood-stained things.

“Do you think Leonard will come looking for me?” Vanya asks quietly, staring into the flames. Five can’t tell if that’s something she would want or not.

“That bastard better not,” Five says, clenching his fists. Vanya flinches at his words.

“He isn’t bad,” She says mournfully in her childish voice. “He can’t be. I…” She sighs. Slowly, her eyes wander to his blood-stained sweater sitting between them and the hearth. Five fears she’s going to start crying again.

“You look like you could use a drink,” He grumbles, rising stiffly to his feet and sauntering across the room to the bar. He pours them both a glass of vodka and juice before returning to find her fondling the material of the sweater with an absentminded hand. He scoops it atop the toe of his shoe and flings it into the fire. Vanya lets out a pitiful, protesting yelp and lurches forward for it.

“Ah ah ah,” Five scolds, squatting and stretching an arm before her to hold her back. She gives up quickly, collapsing against his arm. “You must forget about Leonard as you knew him – there is no Leonard, only Howard Jenkins.” He pulls away and crashes down next to her, offering up a glass.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? How am I supposed to believe you?” She says, rising both in stature and in volume.

“Listen to yourself, Vanya! You’re in denial. If you can’t believe Allison, at least believe me. We have no reason to lie. We just want you to be happy.” He’s risen to rival her, and thank god they’re still the same height.

“When have you ever wanted me to be happy?” She screams, clenching her fists. A tremor shakes the walls and rattles the furniture. Five whips around and understands suddenly.

“Vanya,” He says warningly. “You need to calm down now.”

“That’s all anyone has ever wanted me to do. My entire life.” She says darkly, shaking with sorrow and uneasily restrained rage. Five watches her carefully.

“Believe me when I say,” He says slowly. “That I know all too well the consequences of letting my power get the best of me.”

Vanya shakes on the spot a moment longer. Then, she relaxes, allowing her chin to hit her chest and her shoulders to slump. Her hands fall open and the world is still again.

“Good,” Five says with a breath of relief. He eyes her continually. Stepping forward, he offers the glass once again. “Drink up. We’ll figure this out together.” She takes it and they sit once again, watching the last dregs of the sweater disappear into smoke. Eventually, she takes her first sip, grimacing. He joins her easily and tries to think up his next question. Before he can, however, there is a crash from out in the hall.

“Where is she!?” Luther roars, stomping through the door into the living room. Vanya slides lower to the ground, concealing herself behind the cabinet they sit against. Five sighs and teleports to the spot directly in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Tread carefully, friend.” He warns, spreading his arms out to keep him from going any further.

“She’s lucky she didn’t kill her!” Luther snarls. Diego and Klaus rush in behind him.

“Just hold your horses, alright? I’m handling it.” Five snaps.

“Oh, yeah? Handling it with what? This?” Luther yanks the empty glass from his hand and lobs it towards the fireplace. It hits the brick and shatters, tinkling to the floor. Vanya lets out a cry, giving herself away. Luther’s expression darkens, and he begins to press forward.

“Stop, I said!” Five protests, placing one scrawny hand on his chest and trying to keep him still, but its no use. Luther shoves him aside and stomps towards the fireplace. Vanya leaps up, cowering in place.

“Luther, wait.” Diego warns.

“Yeah, man, we can talk this out.” Klaus says. They both trail behind him but are helpless to stop his advance. Five jumps through space to stand next to Vanya defensively. Grabbing her hand, he teleports them both to the opposite side of the room, behind the bar. Luther shouts in frustration.

“This isn’t how we’re doing this, Jumbo.” Five spits, releasing Vanya, who slumps against the bar and eyes Luther fearfully.

“We’re going to do it however I say we’re going to do it.” Luther insists, pushing a chair aside and starting his advance all over again.

“I’m sorry,” Vanya moans, beginning to shake. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” Diego grabs Luther by the arm.

“Stop it,” He begs.

“Get off,” Luther snipes, throwing his arm around. Diego holds on and Klaus follows suit, latching on to the other side. “You guys.” He groans, taking one lurching step forward.

“Just cut it out! What do you think you’re doing? This is our sister we’re talking about!” Klaus tries desperately. Luther comes to a stop. Five lets out a small sigh of relief, but then he sees the real reason for his distraction.

Allison stands swaying in the doorway, stripped from her bloody clothes and bandaged around the throat, looking back and forth between the two parties separated by the room in alarm.

“Good morning.” Klaus says in a falsely cheerful voice. She opens her mouth to ask but can’t. A weird noise comes from the floor of the bar. Five looks down to find Vanya, cowering at his feet, hands shaking and letting out a stream of apologies and admonishments for herself. He looks back up towards the others pleadingly, at a loss in his caregiving abilities. With a flash, they both appear on the couch and slump down onto the plush cushions. Vanya curls forward and sobs bitterly into her knees. Allison rushes forward and places a hand on her shoulder, but she flinches away, apologizing once again. Allison replaces her hand gently. Vanya looks up at her, eyes and nose streaming, but winces upon seeing her bandaged throat, and recoils back downwards.

Allison tries to choke out a word but fails again.

“Stop that,” Diego says. “You’ll just hurt yourself mo–” Allison shakes her head at him but it’s too late. Vanya interlaces her fingers behind her neck and breathes out as if in immense pain.

“Please, just go away.” She begs helplessly. Allison squats before her. Klaus comes around her other side, looking like a forlorn puppy.

“We want to help you, Vanya.” He says, being the most serious he’s been in a long time. Vanya glances towards him, but ultimately squeezes her eyes shut against his kind face and sighs again.

“I don’t want your help.” She lies. “You don’t want to help me. You just want to see what I can do with… with… my powers.” She says the word like it’s a curse. Five eyes Luther cautiously.

“What is she talking about?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“Perhaps, I could provide some insight.”

Pogo hobbles into the room, taking them all by surprise.

“Pogo?” Diego says, asking for an explanation.

“Please, all of you, sit down. There’s… something you all should have learned a long time ago.”

As he explains, the room grows darker and darker as the world outside the windows shifts into light. Everyone is silent with misunderstanding, wonder, and, more reservedly, fear. The entire time, Vanya listens silent and still. Finally, when the telling is over, it is a minute before anyone talks.

“So,” Diego says. “‘Extra ordinary’ Vanya Hargreeves is actually…?”

“Extraordinary.” Luther finishes, still in a state of shock.

“But why would Dad–” Klaus begins.

“Cause he was an asshole.” Diego answers, rising to his feet and spinning a knife around his finger. “Jesus.” He sighs.

Vanya rises too, taking one shaky breath in and out. She crosses to the window, clenching and unclenching her fists, and stares out into the dusk.

“I don’t know how to feel.” She admits after several seconds of silence.

“I’d be pissed.” Diego says.

“Yeah, man, me too. I’d want to bring this whole goddamn building to the ground.” Klaus agrees, gesturing widely to the room and the walls around them. Allison gives him a look and he shrinks back down. Five’s mind begins to work seriously. Pogo had said she was capable of such damage. He remembers the future he landed in all those years ago, where the house really was reduced to rubble, with all his siblings inside. Well, all except…

The truth nearly knocks the wind from his lungs. He lets out an involuntary murmur of realization. Everyone turns to him.

“What was that?” Luther asks absently. Five clears his throat, still trying to recover.

“Nothing, nothing. Just a tickle.” He ventures, giving a couple more coughs. “I need some water. Excuse me.” He wanders off to the kitchen. Everyone watches him go but quickly forgets his absence in the presence of the new discovery before them.

“So,” Klaus asks to Vanya’s back. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t…” She says. “I need some time. This is all… so much. I think I just want to go home for tonight.” She turns and looks forlornly at the group of them standing around. They stare back blankly.

“Maybe that’s not…” Luther begins, but trails off when Allison holds up a hand to silence him. She tries to find the words, but once again is unable to speak. Vanya grows despondent once more as she watches her struggle and moves instinctively away. Allison locates a pen and pad of paper on the coffee table and scribbles a quick note.

Come back tomorrow morning, she wrote. Vanya nods, surprised yet still cautious. She gives her a small smile, but then lets it disappear.

“But…I hurt you.” She says in a small voice, not meeting anyone’s gaze.

“I agree.” Luther says, crossing his arms and rising menacingly to his feet.

“Oh, shut it.” Klaus says suddenly. “We can figure this out?” He tries. Vanya begins to shake her head.

“No, listen. Vanya needs our help. We’re the ones who were trained to use our powers. She wasn’t. We can help her learn, though. This isn’t some sort of sentence. If anything this is a… a miracle!” He finishes proudly.

Vanya blushes and looks away.

“And what if she loses control and hurts someone else?” Luther asks. Allison smacks his arm and begins writing another furious note.

It was my fault, she holds up. Work kinder this time.

“Right,” Luther grumbles, still skeptical.

“Look,” Vanya chimes in, surprising everyone. “I need some time. I understand why you’re so skeptical, but… I don’t even know if I want to keep this, if it’s just going to cause more pain.” Everyone understands her meaning.

“No,” Diego says finally. “You shouldn’t have to give up your power just to make us feel more comfortable. We’ll figure it out. Do what you need to do for now. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Vanya awards him a grateful smile. Allison moves towards her finally and pulls her into a hug. Vanya tears up but keep her composure, whispering one final I’m sorry into her ear before pulling away. Allison shakes her head and mouths it’s okay.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that.” Five says out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?” Klaus ask.

“The apocalypse might still be on. If that’s so, then there’s just one precaution I want to take until tomorrow.”

“And what’s that? What are you talking about?”

“I think…” Five hesitates, unsure if he should tell them, but unsure how to proceed if he does not. “Vanya, I’m sorry, but I think we need to lock you up. Just for tonight.”

“What?” She balks, swallowing hard.

“Like I said, I’m sorry. But just in case something goes awry tonight, and you suddenly feel like… bringing down the house, quite literally–”

“Woah woah woah,” Diego says. “Are you suggesting–”

“That Vanya might not be in total control of her powers yet? Yes. Yes, I am.”

They all stare, mulling over the words.

“Guys, I mean… come on.” Klaus protests meekly.

“No,” Vanya says. “He’s right. I’m not very experienced. I think I need…” She looks up at Five hopelessly. He sets his mouth into a line.

“Just for the night.” He promises. Just for the night.

#vanya hargreeves #tua #tua vanya #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #hargreeve #the umbrella academy #tua fanfiction #hargreeves #im watching ratatouille and writing

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