sayokoni

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred 

part 3

Someone asked me where i got the idea for this story, this edit inspired me a while ago😭

Warnings⚠️: Graphic injury/blood, Implied abuse/torture, Emotional distress

Word count: 1,7k

The day after Toji’s brutal rejection, you brought him the usual food provided by the clan. It was no different from the charred, tasteless meals they gave to everyone in his position, but it was exactly what he said he wanted: nothing more, nothing less. You had tried to show kindness before, cooking for him, cleaning his room, but his sharp words still echoed in your mind.

“I said it once, and I won’t repeat myself again. Take your disgusting food and leave. I don’t need your help, or anything else from you.”

The sting of his words hadn’t dulled, even though you told yourself it shouldn’t matter. He’d made himself clear: you weren’t wanted. So, from then on, you kept things strictly professional, limiting your presence in his chambers to the bare minimum.

Every time you brought his tray, you didn’t linger. You avoided his eyes, entering and exiting the room like a ghost. You didn’t say anything unless absolutely necessary, and even then, you kept your voice neutral and polite. You convinced yourself that this was for the best—that staying distant would make things easier.

But Toji noticed. Of course, he noticed. How could he not? He could see it in the way you carried yourself, shoulders slightly hunched as if bracing for another verbal blow. He could feel it in the air, the weight of your silence when you set the tray down and immediately turned to leave. The absence of your usual attempts to make his life a little better gnawed at him in ways he couldn’t explain.

It wasn’t just that you were avoiding him—it was how completely you had withdrawn. You were careful not to meet his eyes, careful not to say anything that could give away even a hint of emotion. And for some reason, that hurt more than he expected.

Toji didn’t know why it bothered him so much. Maybe it was because he could see the pain lingering in your expression, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Maybe it was because, deep down, he didn’t want you to stop trying, even though he’d told you to.

But he couldn’t let himself think like that. He had done what he had to do—cut you off before the clan could notice your kindness and punish you for it. If he showed even the slightest favor toward you, the consequences would be severe, and you wouldn’t survive the wrath of the clan. He had to keep his distance for your sake, even if it meant enduring the coldness that now defined your interactions.

So the days passed like this. You brought his food, sometimes cleaned his chambers, and left without a word. The room was always spotless when you were done—your thoroughness hadn’t changed—but your presence felt like a shadow of what it had been.

One day, you arrived at his chambers to deliver his evening meal. As usual, you knocked softly on the door and waited for his gruff acknowledgment to enter. But this time, there was no answer. You knocked again, hesitating for a moment before pushing the door open.

The room was empty.

You glanced around, your brow furrowing slightly. You looked around and saw that the room was just as you had left it. The bed was neatly made, and everything was in its proper place. As always, you put the tray of food on the small table near the bed, even though Toji was not there. You remembered that he had been away before and always returned later, so you initially thought it was normal. Still, a strange feeling inside made you wonder if something was wrong today, even though you tried to dismiss that thought.

You shook your head, forcing the thought away. It wasn’t your place to question his whereabouts. Still, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

When you returned the next morning with his breakfast, the uneasy feeling turned into suspicion. His chambers were still empty, and the food from the previous day lay untouched on the small table—even though you knew he wouldn’t have eaten it anyway. But still It was as if he hadn’t returned at all.

By dinnertime, you found yourself preparing for another empty room. You gathered the usual meal, carefully balancing the tray in your hands as you made your way to his chambers. The nagging feeling of unease followed you like a shadow, but you told yourself it was nothing. He’d probably return when he was ready, and it wasn’t your job to worry.

As you slowly pushed the door open, expecting the same cold silence and empty room, your heart nearly stopped.

Toji was there.

Collapsed on the floor beside his bed, his body hung limply against the frame, like a puppet with its strings cut. His chest rose and fell in shallow, ragged gasps, each breath a struggle. Blood was everywhere—soaking through his shirt, spilling in dark, wet patches across the floor. It clung to his skin, pooled beneath him, and painted the room in a color that screamed of violence.

His eyes, once sharp and guarded, were now dull, clouded with pain and fading strength. His face was a ghostly pale, lips parted slightly.

The tray slipped from your hands and crashed to the ground, the clatter echoing through the room like a gunshot. Your breath caught in your throat, and for a long, frozen moment, all you could do was stare—eyes wide, heart racing—as the horror rooted you in place.

“Master Toji!” you cried, rushing to his side. Your hands hovered over him, trembling as you tried to assess the extent of his injuries. “Your injuries—what happened? Who did this to you?”

He didn’t answer, his breathing labored and uneven. You thought about how this could have happened to him, but then the realization hit you like a cold, cruel truth: this wasn’t an accident. This was the clan’s doing.

Of course, it was. You had heard whispers, rumors of the cruel punishments they inflicted on him, the tortures he had endured all his life. This wasn’t just some accident—this was deliberate. The thought made your stomach turn. Calling for help would do nothing. Even if you called for help, you knew deep down no one would come. And if they did, it wouldn’t be to help him, it would only make things worse for him. You hade no choice If no one else could help him, then you would have to do it yourself.

“I-I need to treat these,” you stammered, your voice shaking. “Please, just… just stay still.”

Toji grunted weakly, his voice hoarse. “Don’t… bother. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” you repeated, your voice rising with disbelief. “You’re bleeding everywhere! If I don’t do something, these wounds will only get worse!”

With trembling hands, you hurried to gather what you needed. There was a basin of water in the corner of the room, along with a clean cloth you had used earlier for dusting. You tore strips of fabric from a spare sheet in the closet, improvising bandages as you worked. Returning to his side, you carefully peeled back his shirt to reveal the wound on his side. The gash was deep and jagged, the edges raw and angry. Blood still seeped from the injury, staining your hands as you pressed the cloth against it to staunch the flow.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice soft as you began cleaning the gash on his shoulder. The blood was warm and sticky, continuing staining your hands as you worked. Toji hissed in pain, his body tensing under your touch, but he didn’t push you away.

The wound was deep, the flesh torn. “It’s really deep,” you said softly, your brow furrowed in concentration. “This needs to be stitched, but I… I’ll do what I can.”

You moved to the wound on his side next, carefully wiping away the blood to reveal torn, jagged flesh. The sight made your stomach churn, but you forced yourself to focus. You cleaned the wound as best as you could, your fingers trembling as you worked.

Toji’s breathing steadied slightly, though his body was still tense with pain. He watched you silently, his eyes half-lidded but sharp enough to take in every detail—the way your hands moved, so careful and precise, the way your brow knitted with worry, and how you bit your lip, determined to do your best despite the overwhelming situation. But once you finished tending his wounds, his body finally gave in. His eyes fluttered shut, and he slumped back, unconscious—most likely from the pain and the blood he had lost.

Panic surged in your chest as you reached for him, your hands trembling again. “Toji?” you called softly, your voice tight with worry. He didn’t respond.

You swallowed hard, trying to stay calm. You couldn’t leave him like this—not on the cold, hard floor. He needed warmth, rest, anything that could give his body a chance to recover. You glanced toward the bed, then at his still form. You hesitated, glancing again back down at his unconscious form. Toji was much larger and stronger than you, his broad frame a stark contrast to your smaller one. The thought of lifting him seemed impossible, but you had no other choice.

Positioning yourself beside him, you slipped your arms under his, gripping him as securely as you could. With a deep breath, you heaved upward, straining against his weight. It was slow and arduous, your muscles burning with the effort, but you managed to half-carry, half-drag him onto the bed.

By the time you lowered him onto the mattress, you were panting, your arms trembling from exertion. Sweat dampened your brow as you adjusted his position, making sure he was as comfortable as possible.

You stood back, your chest rising and falling with labored breaths as you surveyed your work. His wounds were cleaned and bandaged, his body resting peacefully on the bed. For the first time since finding him, you allowed yourself to relax, if only slightly.

Pulling a blanket over him, you sat down on the ground beside the bed, your eyes never leaving his face. He looked so different like this—vulnerable in a way you had never seen before.

As the minutes turned into hours, you remained at his side, watching over him in silence. And though exhaustion tugged at your eyelids, you refused to leave. Not until you were sure he was safe.

guys I think I've written myself into a corner💔

Likes and reblogs are appreciated<3

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred 

part 3

Someone asked me where i got the idea for this story, this edit inspired me a while ago😭

Warnings⚠️: Graphic injury/blood, Implied abuse/torture, Emotional distress

Word count: 1,7k

The day after Toji’s brutal rejection, you brought him the usual food provided by the clan. It was no different from the charred, tasteless meals they gave to everyone in his position, but it was exactly what he said he wanted: nothing more, nothing less. You had tried to show kindness before, cooking for him, cleaning his room, but his sharp words still echoed in your mind.

“I said it once, and I won’t repeat myself again. Take your disgusting food and leave. I don’t need your help, or anything else from you.”

The sting of his words hadn’t dulled, even though you told yourself it shouldn’t matter. He’d made himself clear: you weren’t wanted. So, from then on, you kept things strictly professional, limiting your presence in his chambers to the bare minimum.

Every time you brought his tray, you didn’t linger. You avoided his eyes, entering and exiting the room like a ghost. You didn’t say anything unless absolutely necessary, and even then, you kept your voice neutral and polite. You convinced yourself that this was for the best—that staying distant would make things easier.

But Toji noticed. Of course, he noticed. How could he not? He could see it in the way you carried yourself, shoulders slightly hunched as if bracing for another verbal blow. He could feel it in the air, the weight of your silence when you set the tray down and immediately turned to leave. The absence of your usual attempts to make his life a little better gnawed at him in ways he couldn’t explain.

It wasn’t just that you were avoiding him—it was how completely you had withdrawn. You were careful not to meet his eyes, careful not to say anything that could give away even a hint of emotion. And for some reason, that hurt more than he expected.

Toji didn’t know why it bothered him so much. Maybe it was because he could see the pain lingering in your expression, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Maybe it was because, deep down, he didn’t want you to stop trying, even though he’d told you to.

But he couldn’t let himself think like that. He had done what he had to do—cut you off before the clan could notice your kindness and punish you for it. If he showed even the slightest favor toward you, the consequences would be severe, and you wouldn’t survive the wrath of the clan. He had to keep his distance for your sake, even if it meant enduring the coldness that now defined your interactions.

So the days passed like this. You brought his food, sometimes cleaned his chambers, and left without a word. The room was always spotless when you were done—your thoroughness hadn’t changed—but your presence felt like a shadow of what it had been.

One day, you arrived at his chambers to deliver his evening meal. As usual, you knocked softly on the door and waited for his gruff acknowledgment to enter. But this time, there was no answer. You knocked again, hesitating for a moment before pushing the door open.

The room was empty.

You glanced around, your brow furrowing slightly. You looked around and saw that the room was just as you had left it. The bed was neatly made, and everything was in its proper place. As always, you put the tray of food on the small table near the bed, even though Toji was not there. You remembered that he had been away before and always returned later, so you initially thought it was normal. Still, a strange feeling inside made you wonder if something was wrong today, even though you tried to dismiss that thought.

You shook your head, forcing the thought away. It wasn’t your place to question his whereabouts. Still, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

When you returned the next morning with his breakfast, the uneasy feeling turned into suspicion. His chambers were still empty, and the food from the previous day lay untouched on the small table—even though you knew he wouldn’t have eaten it anyway. But still It was as if he hadn’t returned at all.

By dinnertime, you found yourself preparing for another empty room. You gathered the usual meal, carefully balancing the tray in your hands as you made your way to his chambers. The nagging feeling of unease followed you like a shadow, but you told yourself it was nothing. He’d probably return when he was ready, and it wasn’t your job to worry.

As you slowly pushed the door open, expecting the same cold silence and empty room, your heart nearly stopped.

Toji was there.

Collapsed on the floor beside his bed, his body hung limply against the frame, like a puppet with its strings cut. His chest rose and fell in shallow, ragged gasps, each breath a struggle. Blood was everywhere—soaking through his shirt, spilling in dark, wet patches across the floor. It clung to his skin, pooled beneath him, and painted the room in a color that screamed of violence.

His eyes, once sharp and guarded, were now dull, clouded with pain and fading strength. His face was a ghostly pale, lips parted slightly.

The tray slipped from your hands and crashed to the ground, the clatter echoing through the room like a gunshot. Your breath caught in your throat, and for a long, frozen moment, all you could do was stare—eyes wide, heart racing—as the horror rooted you in place.

“Master Toji!” you cried, rushing to his side. Your hands hovered over him, trembling as you tried to assess the extent of his injuries. “Your injuries—what happened? Who did this to you?”

He didn’t answer, his breathing labored and uneven. You thought about how this could have happened to him, but then the realization hit you like a cold, cruel truth: this wasn’t an accident. This was the clan’s doing.

Of course, it was. You had heard whispers, rumors of the cruel punishments they inflicted on him, the tortures he had endured all his life. This wasn’t just some accident—this was deliberate. The thought made your stomach turn. Calling for help would do nothing. Even if you called for help, you knew deep down no one would come. And if they did, it wouldn’t be to help him, it would only make things worse for him. You hade no choice If no one else could help him, then you would have to do it yourself.

“I-I need to treat these,” you stammered, your voice shaking. “Please, just… just stay still.”

Toji grunted weakly, his voice hoarse. “Don’t… bother. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” you repeated, your voice rising with disbelief. “You’re bleeding everywhere! If I don’t do something, these wounds will only get worse!”

With trembling hands, you hurried to gather what you needed. There was a basin of water in the corner of the room, along with a clean cloth you had used earlier for dusting. You tore strips of fabric from a spare sheet in the closet, improvising bandages as you worked. Returning to his side, you carefully peeled back his shirt to reveal the wound on his side. The gash was deep and jagged, the edges raw and angry. Blood still seeped from the injury, staining your hands as you pressed the cloth against it to staunch the flow.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice soft as you began cleaning the gash on his shoulder. The blood was warm and sticky, continuing staining your hands as you worked. Toji hissed in pain, his body tensing under your touch, but he didn’t push you away.

The wound was deep, the flesh torn. “It’s really deep,” you said softly, your brow furrowed in concentration. “This needs to be stitched, but I… I’ll do what I can.”

You moved to the wound on his side next, carefully wiping away the blood to reveal torn, jagged flesh. The sight made your stomach churn, but you forced yourself to focus. You cleaned the wound as best as you could, your fingers trembling as you worked.

Toji’s breathing steadied slightly, though his body was still tense with pain. He watched you silently, his eyes half-lidded but sharp enough to take in every detail—the way your hands moved, so careful and precise, the way your brow knitted with worry, and how you bit your lip, determined to do your best despite the overwhelming situation. But once you finished tending his wounds, his body finally gave in. His eyes fluttered shut, and he slumped back, unconscious—most likely from the pain and the blood he had lost.

Panic surged in your chest as you reached for him, your hands trembling again. “Toji?” you called softly, your voice tight with worry. He didn’t respond.

You swallowed hard, trying to stay calm. You couldn’t leave him like this—not on the cold, hard floor. He needed warmth, rest, anything that could give his body a chance to recover. You glanced toward the bed, then at his still form. You hesitated, glancing again back down at his unconscious form. Toji was much larger and stronger than you, his broad frame a stark contrast to your smaller one. The thought of lifting him seemed impossible, but you had no other choice.

Positioning yourself beside him, you slipped your arms under his, gripping him as securely as you could. With a deep breath, you heaved upward, straining against his weight. It was slow and arduous, your muscles burning with the effort, but you managed to half-carry, half-drag him onto the bed.

By the time you lowered him onto the mattress, you were panting, your arms trembling from exertion. Sweat dampened your brow as you adjusted his position, making sure he was as comfortable as possible.

You stood back, your chest rising and falling with labored breaths as you surveyed your work. His wounds were cleaned and bandaged, his body resting peacefully on the bed. For the first time since finding him, you allowed yourself to relax, if only slightly.

Pulling a blanket over him, you sat down on the ground beside the bed, your eyes never leaving his face. He looked so different like this—vulnerable in a way you had never seen before.

As the minutes turned into hours, you remained at his side, watching over him in silence. And though exhaustion tugged at your eyelids, you refused to leave. Not until you were sure he was safe.

guys I think I've written myself into a corner💔

Likes and reblogs are appreciated<3

[sayokoni]

feels like fake news

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred 

Part 2

Summery: You secretly began preparing proper meals for Toji after the clan neglected him, risking everything to show kindness. One day, after cleaning his room, you delivered dinner, only for Toji to harshly reject it. His cold words were meant to protect you, but they left you hurt and tearful. Alone, Toji wrestled with guilt, realizing the risk you’d taken for him.

Word count: 1,9k

Warnings: Angst, a little cursing, Feelings of guilt ( idk what else TT)

Over the next few days, you entered the kitchen to collect Toji’s meals, already preparing on what you’re going to find. Just as you feared, the tray meant for him was filled with the same burnt, unappetizing mess as before. You couldn’t believe this was still happening, it wasn’t just unfair, it was cruel.

You glanced around the kitchen, making sure no one was watching, and then you quickly grabbed the tray and carried it to a quiet corner of the estate. Your heart raced as you tipped the disgusting food into the bin like you’ve been doing the last few days. Once it was gone, you hurried back to the kitchen, grabbing fresh ingredients with shaky hands. If you were going to risk everything, you might as well do it right.

With time you learned how to work as quickly and quietly as you could, you prepared a simple, hearty breakfast. Nothing fancy, but it was warm, flavorful, and made with care. You seasoned it lightly, making sure every element was cooked properly. The smell of the food brought a small smile to your lips—it felt good to be doing something worthwhile. Once everything was plated, you covered the tray and made your way to Toji’s chambers.

When you arrived, you knocked softly, but there was no response. That wasn’t unusual, so you opened the door cautiously, peeking inside. Toji wasn’t there. The room was empty, dimly lit by the faint morning light streaming through the heavy curtains. For a moment, you hesitated, unsure of what to do. You set the tray down on the small table near the window, making sure it was covered to keep the food warm.

With no sign of Toji, you decided to move on to your other duties. His room was in desperate need of cleaning—the bed was unmade, dust coated the furniture, and the floor looked like it hadn’t been swept in weeks. You sighed softly, rolling up your sleeves. If he wasn’t here, now was the perfect time to tidy up.

You started with the bed, straightening the sheets and fluffing the pillow before tucking everything neatly into place. Next, you swept the floor, carefully gathering every bit of dust and dirt. You wiped down the surfaces, polishing the wooden furniture until it gleamed faintly in the dim light. As you worked, you couldn’t help but glance at the covered tray of food, wondering if he would return soon and notice the effort you had put into his meal.

By the time you finished, the room looked completely different—clean, organized, and inviting. You stood back, admiring your work with a small sense of pride. Before leaving, you checked the tray one last time, making sure it was still warm and presentable. Then you quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door behind you.

Not long after you left, Toji returned. He pushed open the door and stepped inside, his sharp eyes immediately noticing the changes. The room smelled different—clean, fresh. His gaze swept across the space, taking in the neatly made bed, the spotless floor, and the polished furniture. It was a strong contrast to the chaos and dust he was used to.

On the table by the window, he spotted the covered tray. His brow furrowed as he approached it, lifting the cover slightly to reveal the meal you had prepared. The aroma hit him instantly, warm and inviting, and his stomach tightened with hunger. He knew this wasn’t the work of the other clan members. They wouldn’t waste their time or effort on him. No, this was you again.

Toji exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the meal. “How can she be so reckless?” he muttered under his breath. If anyone caught you doing this, there would be consequences. He wasn’t worth this kind of risk. And yet, the food smelled too good to ignore. With a faint growl of frustration, he sat down and ate, savoring every bite despite himself.

When he finished, he leaned back in his chair, his gaze drifting around the room once more. Everything was spotless. You had cleaned it so thoroughly, it almost felt foreign to him. He couldn’t remember the last time his space had been treated with such care. A strange thought crept into his mind: Why were you doing this? What could you possibly gain from helping someone like him?

The tray in your hands felt heavier with each step as you approached Toji’s chambers. Dinner had taken you longer to prepare tonight, not because the recipe was complicated, but because your nerves had been impossible to calm. After leaving breakfast for him earlier, you hadn’t seen or heard from him all day, and the uncertainty of whether he had eaten your food gnawed at you.

‘Did he like it?’

‘Was the food still warm when he arrived?’

With those thoughts swirling in your mind, you made your way to his chambers. The halls were unusually silent tonight. The quiet felt different, heavier somehow, as if the walls themselves were watching you. You shivered at the thought, shaking your head. ‘Stop it. You’re just nervous’ you told yourself, forcing your lips into a faint, reassuring smile.

But the prickling sensation at the back of your neck didn’t go away. It had been there for a while now, ever since you’d left the kitchen with the tray. At first, you chalked it up to nerves, an overreaction caused by sneaking around and worrying too much. But as you walked down the winding corridors, it began to feel…different.

Subtle, nearly imperceptible noises seemed to follow your footsteps, the soft creak of a floorboard, a faint rustle of fabric, the kind of sounds you wouldn’t normally notice. You glanced over your shoulder once, then twice, but the corridor behind you was as empty as it had always been.

‘Don’t be silly’ you scolded yourself, quickening your Pace slightly. ‘There’s no one there, You’re just imagining things’ Still, you couldn’t help but hold the tray a little closer to your chest, as if shielding it would somehow ease your anxiety.

It wasn’t unusual to feel watched in this house. You had long grown accustomed to the oppressive atmosphere, the lingering gazes of the clan members who seemed to scrutinize your every move. But this felt different. This wasn’t just suspicion or disdain. It felt…deliberate.

You told yourself again to stop overthinking it. ’You’re just nervous. That’s all this is’. But no matter how many times you repeated the thought, the unease refused to fade.

By the time you reached Toji’s chambers, the sensation had dulled, replaced by a rush of nervous anticipation. You shifted the tray in your hands and knocked softly on the door, your heart pounding in your chest. Is he finally back?

The door opened almost immediately, and Toji’s sharp eyes met yours. His presence, as always, was imposing, his tall frame and intense gaze making it hard to look him in the eye for too long. But tonight, there was something else in his expression something unreadable, as if he were assessing more than just you.

“…What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

“I-I brought you dinner,” you stammered, holding up the tray slightly.

Toji’s eyes narrowed, but instead of focusing on you or the food, his gaze darted past you, down the hallway. His entire demeanor shifted in an instant. His jaw clenched, his body tensed, and his expression darkened. You followed his gaze, but the hallway behind you was empty, just as it had been moments ago.

His eyes returned to you, hard and unyielding, and the tension in the air grew thick enough to suffocate.

You felt your heart sink as his expression twisted into one of anger—or was it something else? Disgust? You couldn’t tell. Before you could say anything, he spoke again, louder this time, his words cutting through the silence like a blade.

“I said it once, and I won’t repeat myself again. Take your fucking food and leave I don’t want it.”

The tray in your hands trembled as his words hit you like a physical blow. Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. He didn’t want it. After everything you had done, everything you had risked—he didn’t care, even though you were certain he liked it.

“I don’t need your help or anything from you,” he spat, his voice harsh and unforgiving. “Don’t you get it? Fuck off.”

You flinched, the sting of his words hitting harder than you thought possible. Your throat tightened, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not now. Not after this.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice trembling so much it was barely audible. “I thought you might like it. I won’t… I won’t do it again.” You bowed your head slightly, hoping it would hide your tears, and turned to leave, clutching the tray tightly against your chest.

Toji’s eyes followed you as you walked away, his sharp gaze lingering on your small, retreating figure. He shut the door firmly behind you, leaning back against it with a heavy exhale.

His fists clenched at his sides, the words he’d just spoken twisting inside him like a blade. He told himself he had no choice. If he didn’t act that way, whoever had been following you would’ve noticed, and then the clan wouldn’t have spared you. They’d accuse you of disobedience, of favoring him, and the consequences… He didn’t want to think about them.

Still, seeing the disappointment and hurt in your eyes, hearing the trembling in your voice as you apologized, it made his chest ache in a way he hadn’t felt in years. He rubbed the back of his neck, scowling at himself. “What the hell’s wrong with me?” he muttered under his breath.

Toji walked to the window, pulling back the curtain slightly to peer out into the hallway. He caught a glimpse of a figure moving away, a man, likely one of the clan members tasked with watching him. His suspicions were confirmed. They had been following you. His scowl deepened, his grip tightening on the curtain.

He let it fall back into place and turned away, his mind racing. The image of your tearful expression lingered, refusing to leave him. You were clueless about the danger, oblivious to how your kindness could put you in harm’s way. And yet, despite knowing all of this, you still kept coming back, still risking everything just to bring him a meal.

As he sat alone in the stillness of his now-clean room, the ache in his chest refused to fade. For the first time in a long while, Toji felt something he couldn’t quite name, a pang of regret, a flicker of guilt.

He wanted to tell himself he didn’t care, that your feelings weren’t his problem. But deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. You had been the only person in this place to show him even a shred of kindness, and he’d repaid you by shattering it.

For the rest of the evening, Toji couldn’t shake the memory of your trembling voice or the way you’d bowed your head in defeat. He told himself it was for the best, that pushing you away was the only way to keep you safe. But as he sat in the stillness of his room, the ache in his chest refused to fade.

Part 3??

Thanks for reading, likes and Reblogs are appreciated <3

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred 

Part 2

Summery: You secretly began preparing proper meals for Toji after the clan neglected him, risking everything to show kindness. One day, after cleaning his room, you delivered dinner, only for Toji to harshly reject it. His cold words were meant to protect you, but they left you hurt and tearful. Alone, Toji wrestled with guilt, realizing the risk you’d taken for him.

Word count: 1,9k

Warnings: Angst, a little cursing, Feelings of guilt ( idk what else TT)

Over the next few days, you entered the kitchen to collect Toji’s meals, already preparing on what you’re going to find. Just as you feared, the tray meant for him was filled with the same burnt, unappetizing mess as before. You couldn’t believe this was still happening, it wasn’t just unfair, it was cruel.

You glanced around the kitchen, making sure no one was watching, and then you quickly grabbed the tray and carried it to a quiet corner of the estate. Your heart raced as you tipped the disgusting food into the bin like you’ve been doing the last few days. Once it was gone, you hurried back to the kitchen, grabbing fresh ingredients with shaky hands. If you were going to risk everything, you might as well do it right.

With time you learned how to work as quickly and quietly as you could, you prepared a simple, hearty breakfast. Nothing fancy, but it was warm, flavorful, and made with care. You seasoned it lightly, making sure every element was cooked properly. The smell of the food brought a small smile to your lips—it felt good to be doing something worthwhile. Once everything was plated, you covered the tray and made your way to Toji’s chambers.

When you arrived, you knocked softly, but there was no response. That wasn’t unusual, so you opened the door cautiously, peeking inside. Toji wasn’t there. The room was empty, dimly lit by the faint morning light streaming through the heavy curtains. For a moment, you hesitated, unsure of what to do. You set the tray down on the small table near the window, making sure it was covered to keep the food warm.

With no sign of Toji, you decided to move on to your other duties. His room was in desperate need of cleaning—the bed was unmade, dust coated the furniture, and the floor looked like it hadn’t been swept in weeks. You sighed softly, rolling up your sleeves. If he wasn’t here, now was the perfect time to tidy up.

You started with the bed, straightening the sheets and fluffing the pillow before tucking everything neatly into place. Next, you swept the floor, carefully gathering every bit of dust and dirt. You wiped down the surfaces, polishing the wooden furniture until it gleamed faintly in the dim light. As you worked, you couldn’t help but glance at the covered tray of food, wondering if he would return soon and notice the effort you had put into his meal.

By the time you finished, the room looked completely different—clean, organized, and inviting. You stood back, admiring your work with a small sense of pride. Before leaving, you checked the tray one last time, making sure it was still warm and presentable. Then you quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door behind you.

Not long after you left, Toji returned. He pushed open the door and stepped inside, his sharp eyes immediately noticing the changes. The room smelled different—clean, fresh. His gaze swept across the space, taking in the neatly made bed, the spotless floor, and the polished furniture. It was a strong contrast to the chaos and dust he was used to.

On the table by the window, he spotted the covered tray. His brow furrowed as he approached it, lifting the cover slightly to reveal the meal you had prepared. The aroma hit him instantly, warm and inviting, and his stomach tightened with hunger. He knew this wasn’t the work of the other clan members. They wouldn’t waste their time or effort on him. No, this was you again.

Toji exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the meal. “How can she be so reckless?” he muttered under his breath. If anyone caught you doing this, there would be consequences. He wasn’t worth this kind of risk. And yet, the food smelled too good to ignore. With a faint growl of frustration, he sat down and ate, savoring every bite despite himself.

When he finished, he leaned back in his chair, his gaze drifting around the room once more. Everything was spotless. You had cleaned it so thoroughly, it almost felt foreign to him. He couldn’t remember the last time his space had been treated with such care. A strange thought crept into his mind: Why were you doing this? What could you possibly gain from helping someone like him?

The tray in your hands felt heavier with each step as you approached Toji’s chambers. Dinner had taken you longer to prepare tonight, not because the recipe was complicated, but because your nerves had been impossible to calm. After leaving breakfast for him earlier, you hadn’t seen or heard from him all day, and the uncertainty of whether he had eaten your food gnawed at you.

‘Did he like it?’

‘Was the food still warm when he arrived?’

With those thoughts swirling in your mind, you made your way to his chambers. The halls were unusually silent tonight. The quiet felt different, heavier somehow, as if the walls themselves were watching you. You shivered at the thought, shaking your head. ‘Stop it. You’re just nervous’ you told yourself, forcing your lips into a faint, reassuring smile.

But the prickling sensation at the back of your neck didn’t go away. It had been there for a while now, ever since you’d left the kitchen with the tray. At first, you chalked it up to nerves, an overreaction caused by sneaking around and worrying too much. But as you walked down the winding corridors, it began to feel…different.

Subtle, nearly imperceptible noises seemed to follow your footsteps, the soft creak of a floorboard, a faint rustle of fabric, the kind of sounds you wouldn’t normally notice. You glanced over your shoulder once, then twice, but the corridor behind you was as empty as it had always been.

‘Don’t be silly’ you scolded yourself, quickening your Pace slightly. ‘There’s no one there, You’re just imagining things’ Still, you couldn’t help but hold the tray a little closer to your chest, as if shielding it would somehow ease your anxiety.

It wasn’t unusual to feel watched in this house. You had long grown accustomed to the oppressive atmosphere, the lingering gazes of the clan members who seemed to scrutinize your every move. But this felt different. This wasn’t just suspicion or disdain. It felt…deliberate.

You told yourself again to stop overthinking it. ’You’re just nervous. That’s all this is’. But no matter how many times you repeated the thought, the unease refused to fade.

By the time you reached Toji’s chambers, the sensation had dulled, replaced by a rush of nervous anticipation. You shifted the tray in your hands and knocked softly on the door, your heart pounding in your chest. Is he finally back?

The door opened almost immediately, and Toji’s sharp eyes met yours. His presence, as always, was imposing, his tall frame and intense gaze making it hard to look him in the eye for too long. But tonight, there was something else in his expression something unreadable, as if he were assessing more than just you.

“…What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

“I-I brought you dinner,” you stammered, holding up the tray slightly.

Toji’s eyes narrowed, but instead of focusing on you or the food, his gaze darted past you, down the hallway. His entire demeanor shifted in an instant. His jaw clenched, his body tensed, and his expression darkened. You followed his gaze, but the hallway behind you was empty, just as it had been moments ago.

His eyes returned to you, hard and unyielding, and the tension in the air grew thick enough to suffocate.

You felt your heart sink as his expression twisted into one of anger—or was it something else? Disgust? You couldn’t tell. Before you could say anything, he spoke again, louder this time, his words cutting through the silence like a blade.

“I said it once, and I won’t repeat myself again. Take your fucking food and leave I don’t want it.”

The tray in your hands trembled as his words hit you like a physical blow. Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. He didn’t want it. After everything you had done, everything you had risked—he didn’t care, even though you were certain he liked it.

“I don’t need your help or anything from you,” he spat, his voice harsh and unforgiving. “Don’t you get it? Fuck off.”

You flinched, the sting of his words hitting harder than you thought possible. Your throat tightened, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not now. Not after this.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice trembling so much it was barely audible. “I thought you might like it. I won’t… I won’t do it again.” You bowed your head slightly, hoping it would hide your tears, and turned to leave, clutching the tray tightly against your chest.

Toji’s eyes followed you as you walked away, his sharp gaze lingering on your small, retreating figure. He shut the door firmly behind you, leaning back against it with a heavy exhale.

His fists clenched at his sides, the words he’d just spoken twisting inside him like a blade. He told himself he had no choice. If he didn’t act that way, whoever had been following you would’ve noticed, and then the clan wouldn’t have spared you. They’d accuse you of disobedience, of favoring him, and the consequences… He didn’t want to think about them.

Still, seeing the disappointment and hurt in your eyes, hearing the trembling in your voice as you apologized, it made his chest ache in a way he hadn’t felt in years. He rubbed the back of his neck, scowling at himself. “What the hell’s wrong with me?” he muttered under his breath.

Toji walked to the window, pulling back the curtain slightly to peer out into the hallway. He caught a glimpse of a figure moving away, a man, likely one of the clan members tasked with watching him. His suspicions were confirmed. They had been following you. His scowl deepened, his grip tightening on the curtain.

He let it fall back into place and turned away, his mind racing. The image of your tearful expression lingered, refusing to leave him. You were clueless about the danger, oblivious to how your kindness could put you in harm’s way. And yet, despite knowing all of this, you still kept coming back, still risking everything just to bring him a meal.

As he sat alone in the stillness of his now-clean room, the ache in his chest refused to fade. For the first time in a long while, Toji felt something he couldn’t quite name, a pang of regret, a flicker of guilt.

He wanted to tell himself he didn’t care, that your feelings weren’t his problem. But deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. You had been the only person in this place to show him even a shred of kindness, and he’d repaid you by shattering it.

For the rest of the evening, Toji couldn’t shake the memory of your trembling voice or the way you’d bowed your head in defeat. He told himself it was for the best, that pushing you away was the only way to keep you safe. But as he sat in the stillness of his room, the ache in his chest refused to fade.

Part 3??

Thanks for reading, likes and Reblogs are appreciated <3

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred

Summary: The reader is assigned as Toji Zenin’s maid in the hostile Zenin estate. Despite his indifference and the clan’s hate for him, she continues to serve him, gradually softening the distance between them.

Warnings: Abuse (towards Toji </3), Neglect, hostile environment, Master and servant relationship, some insult, a little cursing ( please let me know if I forget smt:p )

Word count: 2,9k

“Go away.”

“Piece of shit.”

“You were a mistake.”

“Just die already.”

These were the words Toji had heard every day, without fail, from members of his own clan. They didn’t even bother to hide their hatred for him. It didn’t matter if he was minding his own business, if he was sleeping, or even if he was on the verge of death—those hateful looks and venomous words never disappeared. It was as if they had made it their mission to make him feel like he didn’t belong here, like he was a burden that needed to be removed.

Even when he was silent and still, lost in his own thoughts or resting in solitude, he could feel their eyes on him, full of disgust. It was a constant, oppressive weight, one that had been with him since the moment he was born into this cruel world.

At first, it stung, like an open wound that wouldn’t heal. But over the years, he had learned to accept it. There was no point in fighting it. He couldn’t change their minds, and he couldn’t change the way they treated him. So he did the only thing he could—he grew numb. He shut off his emotions, buried them deep, and let the bitterness and hatred wash over him like a storm he couldn’t escape.

It was never going to stop. Toji had long since accepted that. The hatred would stay with him until the day he died, and maybe even beyond that. So he learned to live with it, because it was the only thing he could do.

“Hey, scum, get up. There’s a family meeting, and they want everyone there” came the sharp, voice of one of the clan members.

Toji glanced up for a moment but said nothing. What he wanted to say—what burned at the back of his throat—was a simple “Fuck off.” But he didn’t. He hadn’t said things like that in years.

What was the point? Fighting back wouldn’t help. If anything, it would only make things worse for him. It always did. Besides, how much worse could it get? They already treated him like garbage, like a parasite they couldn’t quite get rid of.

He’d endured it all before. The insults, the starvation, the endless punishments—they had tried to break him in every way they could think of. And maybe they had succeeded. Toji couldn’t remember the last time he felt something other than anger or emptiness. Nothing they did now could hurt him in the same way again.

So he didn’t fight back, didn’t argue, didn’t let them see even a flicker of defiance. Instead, he simply stood up, his movements slow and steady ,as if the weight of his existence was too much to bear.

There was no purpose in resisting.

So he would simply continue existing, waiting for death to eventually claim him.

“The Zenin clan has seen remarkable growth over the past years,” one of the elders announced proudly during the meeting. His voice carried an air of smugness that got on Toji’s nerves. “Our clan is wealthy, and we can count many young members who show great promise as future fighters. To honor our success, we shall hold a grand festival. We will celebrate with lots of food, entertainment, and, of course, buy us more maids, concubines, and whatever else our hearts desire.”

Toji sat in the corner of the room, arms crossed, listening to their self-congratulatory speeches with growing disgust. They dragged him here for this? To pat themselves on the back and flaunt their arrogance in front of one another? His jaw tightened as he clenched his fists under the table.

So full of themselves. So unbearably self-satisfied. It made him sick to his stomach.

He barely kept himself from walking out of the room, the bitterness rising in his chest. But leaving would only draw attention to himself, and thats the last thing he wanted. Instead he sat there, angry and annoyed, just waiting for it to end.

A total of 150 maids and concubines had been brought into the Zenin clan, with about two-thirds serving as maids and the rest as concubines. You were one of the ordinary maids, without any special abilities or talents. You could cook, clean, sew, and perform all the duties expected of a maid.

When you were first informed that you would be sold to the Zenin clan, you weren’t exactly thrilled. Everyone knew of their reputation—stories of their cruelty spread like wildfire. Rumors spoke of the clan’s heartless nature, where torture and punishment were part of their daily routine. It was said they wouldn’t even spare their own blood if someone dared to step out of line.

These rumors made your stomach turn, but there was no escaping your fate. You were just a maid, with no power or influence to change what was to come.

You were led through the grand gates of the Zenin estate, your heart heavy with each step. The towering walls, the grand buildings, the shiny floors—they all seemed to shine with wealth and power, but you knew the truth. Everything here was built on blood, pain, and suffering. The estate, with its beautiful designs and expensive materials, was a place that felt like it had been soaked in tragedy. Each corner seemed to hold a dark history, a reminder of the cruelty that ran deep within the Zenin clan. The luxury surrounding you felt oppressive, like it was closing in on you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that all this wealth had come at the cost of many lives, and you were now a part of it, trapped in a world that didn’t care about you or anyone else. The beauty around you seemed fake, as though it was trying to cover up the darkness beneath.

You had been told your duties would be simple—serve your assigned master, follow orders, and keep your head down. Do what you were told, and perhaps you’d avoid the wrath of the clan. At first, you were relieved. A life of servitude seemed like the easiest path in such a cruel world. But then they told you who you’d be serving.

Toji Zenin.

The name sent a chill down your spine, even though you had never met him. You had heard whispers from the other maids, their voices full of fear and disgust. “The clan’s black sheep,” they called him. “A man despised even by his own blood.” They said he was dangerous, violent, a man who had no loyalty or care for anyone around him. Rumors painted him as a monster—cruel, silent, and detached, a living weapon with a heart as cold as stone.

But when you first saw him, fear didn’t take hold of you like you expected. Instead, there was something else, something you couldn’t quite understand. His presence was overwhelming, impossible to ignore. His tall, broad figure stood like a constant reminder of his strength, yet there was a certain defiance in the way he carried himself. Despite that, it wasn’t his size or strength that caught your attention. It was his eyes. They held something you hadn’t expected to see—something that surprised you. They were filled with exhaustion, a deep bitterness, and an overwhelming weariness. It was as if his eyes told a story, one of a man who had suffered countless wounds, both physical and emotional, and who had been broken only to be forced to rebuild himself again. The world had shaped him into something harsh, and it showed in the way he looked at everything around him, as though he was tired of it all.

“Hey, scum. This is your personal maid,” a clan member said, his voice dripping with disdain. “You only get one because you’re not worth more.”

Toji barely spared you a glance, his eyes sweeping over you without any hint of interest. His gaze was flat, almost as if he was looking right through you. He didn’t seem to care at all about the fact that you were now his servant.

“Be grateful you even get this,” the clan member sneered, his words sharp as he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone in front of Toji’s chambers.

You didn’t know what to say. The air between you felt thick with discomfort, and you stood there for a moment, unsure of how to react. Before you could find your voice, Toji turned back to you, his expression distant.

“Do whatever you want,” he said in a low, uncaring tone. “I don’t have a use or need for a maid.” He gave you one last glance, a look that held no emotion, then turned and walked into his chambers without another word. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you standing there, frozen, as his words echoed in your mind.

You felt the weight of his indifference settle in your chest. He wasn’t cruel—no, that would have been easier to bear. He simply didn’t care. You were nothing to him, a tool he had no use for, and that truth stung deeper than any insult could have.

THE NEXT DAY

You were one of the first to wake up this morning, ready to serve your assigned master, despite the fact that Toji had made it very clear that he didn’t need you, that you were nothing more than another burden in his life. But still, you did your duty without complaint.

The moment, as you walked into the kitchen to collect his meal, something felt off. When you approached the counter, your heart sank. The tray set aside for Toji was a mess. The food was burned, charred to the point where it almost looked inedible. The smell was Insufferable, a burnt odor that made your stomach turn. The sight of it sent a wave of confusion through you, but then, reality set in.

Toji wasn’t liked by anyone here—he was a black sheep, treated with hate by his own people. They loathed him, and it was clear they would never give him anything of quality. He was nothing more than an inconvenience to them. The meal you were expected to bring him wasn’t food; it was a punishment. A way for them to make him feel more isolated. You felt a wave of sympathy for him, but it was quickly replaced by the cold reminder that you were just a maid. This was your job.

You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the tray. Should you bring him this burnt, inedible mess? It wasn’t right, but you had no choice. It was your responsibility to deliver it. So, with a deep breath, you forced yourself to pick up the tray, the weight of it heavier than you expected, though it wasn’t from the food itself.

You walked down the long hallway. When you reached Toji’s chambers, you knocked softly on the door, but there was no response. You waited a moment, thinking he might overheard it but still there was no sound coming from the other side of the room.

You knocked again, this time with a little more force, but still no answer. Your nerves were on edge now. You could leave the tray and go, but that felt like an insult. No, you had to face him, had to do your duty.

You took a deep breath and gathered all the courage you could muster. “Master Toji?” you said, your voice wavering slightly despite your best efforts. “I’ve come to bring you your breakfast..I’m coming in now.”

With those words, you pushed the door open, stepping into the room. The silence in the air was oppressive, thick with an unspoken tension. The room was dark, the only light coming from a crack in the curtains. Toji was seated by the window, his back to you. His posture was rigid, like he was trying to escape from everything around him, even the world outside.

You moved towards a small table, carefully setting the tray down. The food was a mess—an insult, really—but you said nothing. You didn’t want to draw attention to it. But as you turned to leave, you felt his gaze on you. It wasn’t warm, not in the least, but it wasn’t dismissive either. For a split second, you wondered if he would say something—anything—but instead, he just sighed, his voice low and weary.

“You can go now” he said, his tone cold, no emotions in it. nothing.

You nodded, not daring to say another word, and turned to leave. The door closing softly behind you.

By lunchtime, your heart felt heavier than ever in your life. When you went to collect Toji’s meal, you saw the same miserable excuse for food sitting on the tray. Burned, poorly prepared, and clearly made with nothing but contempt. It wasn’t just negligence—it was deliberate. They hated him so much that they wouldn’t even let him have a proper meal.

You carried the lunch tray to his chambers, knowing full well what you’d find. And sure enough, when you entered his room, the untouched breakfast tray was still sitting where you’d left it. The food was cold, and entirely inedible. Toji hadn’t even bothered to glance at it. He remained by the window as always, quiet and detached, his eyes fixed on the horizon.

You placed the new tray beside the old one, feeling a mix of guilt and frustration well up inside you. How could anyone survive like this? How long had he endured being treated like this? The indignity of it all was suffocating, and yet Toji didn’t say a word. He didn’t even look at you, as if this treatment was something he’d long since accepted.

As dinnertime arrived, you couldn’t take it anymore. When you went to the kitchens to fetch his evening meal, the sight of yet another tray of disgusting food—burnt beyond recognition, the smell alone turning your stomach—was the last straw. You stood there for a moment, staring at it, your hands trembling with anger. Enough was enough.

Making sure no one was watching, you grabbed the tray and hurried to a quiet corner of the estate where no one would see you. There, you dumped the entire tray into a bin, the sound of the wasted food falling away feeling oddly liberating. You straightened up, your heart pounding. What if someone found out? What if they saw you? But you shook the thoughts away. You couldn’t let him be treated like this anymore.

You made your way to the storage room, slipping inside as quietly as you could. The shelves were lined with ingredients—fresh produce, spices, meats, and grains—all untouched and far too luxurious to be wasted on someone they despised. You hesitated for only a moment before gathering what you needed. You couldn’t do much, but you could at least give him a meal that was edible, something that didn’t reek like death .

Back in the kitchen, you worked quickly and silently, your hands moving with purpose. You prepared a simple but hearty meal, seasoning it with care and making sure everything was cooked perfectly. The smell of the food was comforting, filling the small space with warmth. For the first time since arriving at the Zenin estate, you felt like you were doing something right.

Once the meal was finished, you carefully placed it on a tray and covered it, sneaking away from the kitchen with the same caution as before. Your heart raced as you made your way to Toji’s chambers, every shadow and sound making you jump. If anyone caught you, there would be hell to pay. But you didn’t care. Not anymore.

When you reached his room, you knocked softly, not expecting an answer. As usual, there was only silence. Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Toji was sitting by the window, as always, but this time, he glanced over his shoulder at you, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly when he saw the tray in your hands. You set it down on the table without a word, your hands shaking slightly. For a moment, you thought about explaining yourself, about telling him what you’d done, but the words caught in your throat.

“I brought your dinner,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Toji didn’t respond immediately. His gaze lingered on the tray, and then on you, as if trying to figure out what you were playing at. Finally, he let out a low hum, his expression unreadable.

“Did you make this?” he asked, his voice rough but quieter than usual.

You nodded, your palms clammy. “Yes. I thought… I thought you might like something different.”

He said nothing for a long moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied you. Then, with a faint shrug, he leaned back in his chair and gestured toward the door. “Leave it. You can go now.”

You hesitated, unsure if he was going to eat or simply let this meal go to waste like the others. But you couldn’t press him, not now. You nodded and turned to leave, closing the door softly behind you.

Later that night, when you returned to collect the tray, your heart sank as you prepared yourself to see the food untouched again. But when you stepped inside and saw the empty plates, your breath caught. He had eaten it. Every last bite.

For a moment, you just stood there, staring at the empty tray, your chest tightening with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. You couldn’t tell if this small victory meant anything to him, but it meant something to you. For the first time since arriving at the Zenin estate, you felt like you’d done something that mattered.

Thanks for reading <3

[sayokoni]

The weight of hatred

Summary: The reader is assigned as Toji Zenin’s maid in the hostile Zenin estate. Despite his indifference and the clan’s hate for him, she continues to serve him, gradually softening the distance between them.

Warnings: Abuse (towards Toji </3), Neglect, hostile environment, Master and servant relationship, some insult, a little cursing ( please let me know if I forget smt:p )

Word count: 2,9k

“Go away.”

“Piece of shit.”

“You were a mistake.”

“Just die already.”

These were the words Toji had heard every day, without fail, from members of his own clan. They didn’t even bother to hide their hatred for him. It didn’t matter if he was minding his own business, if he was sleeping, or even if he was on the verge of death—those hateful looks and venomous words never disappeared. It was as if they had made it their mission to make him feel like he didn’t belong here, like he was a burden that needed to be removed.

Even when he was silent and still, lost in his own thoughts or resting in solitude, he could feel their eyes on him, full of disgust. It was a constant, oppressive weight, one that had been with him since the moment he was born into this cruel world.

At first, it stung, like an open wound that wouldn’t heal. But over the years, he had learned to accept it. There was no point in fighting it. He couldn’t change their minds, and he couldn’t change the way they treated him. So he did the only thing he could—he grew numb. He shut off his emotions, buried them deep, and let the bitterness and hatred wash over him like a storm he couldn’t escape.

It was never going to stop. Toji had long since accepted that. The hatred would stay with him until the day he died, and maybe even beyond that. So he learned to live with it, because it was the only thing he could do.

“Hey, scum, get up. There’s a family meeting, and they want everyone there” came the sharp, voice of one of the clan members.

Toji glanced up for a moment but said nothing. What he wanted to say—what burned at the back of his throat—was a simple “Fuck off.” But he didn’t. He hadn’t said things like that in years.

What was the point? Fighting back wouldn’t help. If anything, it would only make things worse for him. It always did. Besides, how much worse could it get? They already treated him like garbage, like a parasite they couldn’t quite get rid of.

He’d endured it all before. The insults, the starvation, the endless punishments—they had tried to break him in every way they could think of. And maybe they had succeeded. Toji couldn’t remember the last time he felt something other than anger or emptiness. Nothing they did now could hurt him in the same way again.

So he didn’t fight back, didn’t argue, didn’t let them see even a flicker of defiance. Instead, he simply stood up, his movements slow and steady ,as if the weight of his existence was too much to bear.

There was no purpose in resisting.

So he would simply continue existing, waiting for death to eventually claim him.

“The Zenin clan has seen remarkable growth over the past years,” one of the elders announced proudly during the meeting. His voice carried an air of smugness that got on Toji’s nerves. “Our clan is wealthy, and we can count many young members who show great promise as future fighters. To honor our success, we shall hold a grand festival. We will celebrate with lots of food, entertainment, and, of course, buy us more maids, concubines, and whatever else our hearts desire.”

Toji sat in the corner of the room, arms crossed, listening to their self-congratulatory speeches with growing disgust. They dragged him here for this? To pat themselves on the back and flaunt their arrogance in front of one another? His jaw tightened as he clenched his fists under the table.

So full of themselves. So unbearably self-satisfied. It made him sick to his stomach.

He barely kept himself from walking out of the room, the bitterness rising in his chest. But leaving would only draw attention to himself, and thats the last thing he wanted. Instead he sat there, angry and annoyed, just waiting for it to end.

A total of 150 maids and concubines had been brought into the Zenin clan, with about two-thirds serving as maids and the rest as concubines. You were one of the ordinary maids, without any special abilities or talents. You could cook, clean, sew, and perform all the duties expected of a maid.

When you were first informed that you would be sold to the Zenin clan, you weren’t exactly thrilled. Everyone knew of their reputation—stories of their cruelty spread like wildfire. Rumors spoke of the clan’s heartless nature, where torture and punishment were part of their daily routine. It was said they wouldn’t even spare their own blood if someone dared to step out of line.

These rumors made your stomach turn, but there was no escaping your fate. You were just a maid, with no power or influence to change what was to come.

You were led through the grand gates of the Zenin estate, your heart heavy with each step. The towering walls, the grand buildings, the shiny floors—they all seemed to shine with wealth and power, but you knew the truth. Everything here was built on blood, pain, and suffering. The estate, with its beautiful designs and expensive materials, was a place that felt like it had been soaked in tragedy. Each corner seemed to hold a dark history, a reminder of the cruelty that ran deep within the Zenin clan. The luxury surrounding you felt oppressive, like it was closing in on you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that all this wealth had come at the cost of many lives, and you were now a part of it, trapped in a world that didn’t care about you or anyone else. The beauty around you seemed fake, as though it was trying to cover up the darkness beneath.

You had been told your duties would be simple—serve your assigned master, follow orders, and keep your head down. Do what you were told, and perhaps you’d avoid the wrath of the clan. At first, you were relieved. A life of servitude seemed like the easiest path in such a cruel world. But then they told you who you’d be serving.

Toji Zenin.

The name sent a chill down your spine, even though you had never met him. You had heard whispers from the other maids, their voices full of fear and disgust. “The clan’s black sheep,” they called him. “A man despised even by his own blood.” They said he was dangerous, violent, a man who had no loyalty or care for anyone around him. Rumors painted him as a monster—cruel, silent, and detached, a living weapon with a heart as cold as stone.

But when you first saw him, fear didn’t take hold of you like you expected. Instead, there was something else, something you couldn’t quite understand. His presence was overwhelming, impossible to ignore. His tall, broad figure stood like a constant reminder of his strength, yet there was a certain defiance in the way he carried himself. Despite that, it wasn’t his size or strength that caught your attention. It was his eyes. They held something you hadn’t expected to see—something that surprised you. They were filled with exhaustion, a deep bitterness, and an overwhelming weariness. It was as if his eyes told a story, one of a man who had suffered countless wounds, both physical and emotional, and who had been broken only to be forced to rebuild himself again. The world had shaped him into something harsh, and it showed in the way he looked at everything around him, as though he was tired of it all.

“Hey, scum. This is your personal maid,” a clan member said, his voice dripping with disdain. “You only get one because you’re not worth more.”

Toji barely spared you a glance, his eyes sweeping over you without any hint of interest. His gaze was flat, almost as if he was looking right through you. He didn’t seem to care at all about the fact that you were now his servant.

“Be grateful you even get this,” the clan member sneered, his words sharp as he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone in front of Toji’s chambers.

You didn’t know what to say. The air between you felt thick with discomfort, and you stood there for a moment, unsure of how to react. Before you could find your voice, Toji turned back to you, his expression distant.

“Do whatever you want,” he said in a low, uncaring tone. “I don’t have a use or need for a maid.” He gave you one last glance, a look that held no emotion, then turned and walked into his chambers without another word. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you standing there, frozen, as his words echoed in your mind.

You felt the weight of his indifference settle in your chest. He wasn’t cruel—no, that would have been easier to bear. He simply didn’t care. You were nothing to him, a tool he had no use for, and that truth stung deeper than any insult could have.

THE NEXT DAY

You were one of the first to wake up this morning, ready to serve your assigned master, despite the fact that Toji had made it very clear that he didn’t need you, that you were nothing more than another burden in his life. But still, you did your duty without complaint.

The moment, as you walked into the kitchen to collect his meal, something felt off. When you approached the counter, your heart sank. The tray set aside for Toji was a mess. The food was burned, charred to the point where it almost looked inedible. The smell was Insufferable, a burnt odor that made your stomach turn. The sight of it sent a wave of confusion through you, but then, reality set in.

Toji wasn’t liked by anyone here—he was a black sheep, treated with hate by his own people. They loathed him, and it was clear they would never give him anything of quality. He was nothing more than an inconvenience to them. The meal you were expected to bring him wasn’t food; it was a punishment. A way for them to make him feel more isolated. You felt a wave of sympathy for him, but it was quickly replaced by the cold reminder that you were just a maid. This was your job.

You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the tray. Should you bring him this burnt, inedible mess? It wasn’t right, but you had no choice. It was your responsibility to deliver it. So, with a deep breath, you forced yourself to pick up the tray, the weight of it heavier than you expected, though it wasn’t from the food itself.

You walked down the long hallway. When you reached Toji’s chambers, you knocked softly on the door, but there was no response. You waited a moment, thinking he might overheard it but still there was no sound coming from the other side of the room.

You knocked again, this time with a little more force, but still no answer. Your nerves were on edge now. You could leave the tray and go, but that felt like an insult. No, you had to face him, had to do your duty.

You took a deep breath and gathered all the courage you could muster. “Master Toji?” you said, your voice wavering slightly despite your best efforts. “I’ve come to bring you your breakfast..I’m coming in now.”

With those words, you pushed the door open, stepping into the room. The silence in the air was oppressive, thick with an unspoken tension. The room was dark, the only light coming from a crack in the curtains. Toji was seated by the window, his back to you. His posture was rigid, like he was trying to escape from everything around him, even the world outside.

You moved towards a small table, carefully setting the tray down. The food was a mess—an insult, really—but you said nothing. You didn’t want to draw attention to it. But as you turned to leave, you felt his gaze on you. It wasn’t warm, not in the least, but it wasn’t dismissive either. For a split second, you wondered if he would say something—anything—but instead, he just sighed, his voice low and weary.

“You can go now” he said, his tone cold, no emotions in it. nothing.

You nodded, not daring to say another word, and turned to leave. The door closing softly behind you.

By lunchtime, your heart felt heavier than ever in your life. When you went to collect Toji’s meal, you saw the same miserable excuse for food sitting on the tray. Burned, poorly prepared, and clearly made with nothing but contempt. It wasn’t just negligence—it was deliberate. They hated him so much that they wouldn’t even let him have a proper meal.

You carried the lunch tray to his chambers, knowing full well what you’d find. And sure enough, when you entered his room, the untouched breakfast tray was still sitting where you’d left it. The food was cold, and entirely inedible. Toji hadn’t even bothered to glance at it. He remained by the window as always, quiet and detached, his eyes fixed on the horizon.

You placed the new tray beside the old one, feeling a mix of guilt and frustration well up inside you. How could anyone survive like this? How long had he endured being treated like this? The indignity of it all was suffocating, and yet Toji didn’t say a word. He didn’t even look at you, as if this treatment was something he’d long since accepted.

As dinnertime arrived, you couldn’t take it anymore. When you went to the kitchens to fetch his evening meal, the sight of yet another tray of disgusting food—burnt beyond recognition, the smell alone turning your stomach—was the last straw. You stood there for a moment, staring at it, your hands trembling with anger. Enough was enough.

Making sure no one was watching, you grabbed the tray and hurried to a quiet corner of the estate where no one would see you. There, you dumped the entire tray into a bin, the sound of the wasted food falling away feeling oddly liberating. You straightened up, your heart pounding. What if someone found out? What if they saw you? But you shook the thoughts away. You couldn’t let him be treated like this anymore.

You made your way to the storage room, slipping inside as quietly as you could. The shelves were lined with ingredients—fresh produce, spices, meats, and grains—all untouched and far too luxurious to be wasted on someone they despised. You hesitated for only a moment before gathering what you needed. You couldn’t do much, but you could at least give him a meal that was edible, something that didn’t reek like death .

Back in the kitchen, you worked quickly and silently, your hands moving with purpose. You prepared a simple but hearty meal, seasoning it with care and making sure everything was cooked perfectly. The smell of the food was comforting, filling the small space with warmth. For the first time since arriving at the Zenin estate, you felt like you were doing something right.

Once the meal was finished, you carefully placed it on a tray and covered it, sneaking away from the kitchen with the same caution as before. Your heart raced as you made your way to Toji’s chambers, every shadow and sound making you jump. If anyone caught you, there would be hell to pay. But you didn’t care. Not anymore.

When you reached his room, you knocked softly, not expecting an answer. As usual, there was only silence. Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Toji was sitting by the window, as always, but this time, he glanced over his shoulder at you, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly when he saw the tray in your hands. You set it down on the table without a word, your hands shaking slightly. For a moment, you thought about explaining yourself, about telling him what you’d done, but the words caught in your throat.

“I brought your dinner,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Toji didn’t respond immediately. His gaze lingered on the tray, and then on you, as if trying to figure out what you were playing at. Finally, he let out a low hum, his expression unreadable.

“Did you make this?” he asked, his voice rough but quieter than usual.

You nodded, your palms clammy. “Yes. I thought… I thought you might like something different.”

He said nothing for a long moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied you. Then, with a faint shrug, he leaned back in his chair and gestured toward the door. “Leave it. You can go now.”

You hesitated, unsure if he was going to eat or simply let this meal go to waste like the others. But you couldn’t press him, not now. You nodded and turned to leave, closing the door softly behind you.

Later that night, when you returned to collect the tray, your heart sank as you prepared yourself to see the food untouched again. But when you stepped inside and saw the empty plates, your breath caught. He had eaten it. Every last bite.

For a moment, you just stood there, staring at the empty tray, your chest tightening with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. You couldn’t tell if this small victory meant anything to him, but it meant something to you. For the first time since arriving at the Zenin estate, you felt like you’d done something that mattered.

Thanks for reading <3

[sayokoni]

“The Apology”

Warnings: Just pure comfort

Final part 3

The soft knock on the door startled you. You hesitated, staring at it as your heart pounded in your chest. You weren’t ready to face him—not yet—but the familiar weight of his presence seeped through the walls, making it impossible to ignore.

“Toji?” you called out, your voice wary.

“Yeah,” came his reply, low and rough. There was a pause, then, “Can I come in?”

You swallowed hard, debating whether to let him. The memory of your argument was still raw, his harsh words echoing in your mind. But curiosity, or maybe hope, got the better of you.

“Fine,” you said, your tone colder than you intended.

The door opened slowly, and Toji stepped inside, his tall frame filling the small guest room. He looked different—humbled, almost. His shoulders were tense, and his usual cocky demeanor was absent. For a moment, neither of you spoke.

“You found me,” you said quietly, breaking the silence.

“Of course I did,” he replied, his voice soft but firm. “I had to.”

You turned away, crossing your arms. “Why? So you could tell me I’m overreacting again?”

“No,” he said immediately, his tone steady. “I came to say I was wrong.”

That made you pause. You glanced at him, and the sincerity in his expression caught you off guard.

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” Toji continued, stepping closer but keeping his distance. “I was pissed, and I let my mouth run without thinking. But that’s not an excuse. I hurt you, and I can’t take it back. I just…” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration flickering in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think I don’t care. Because I do. More than I know how to say.”

You blinked, his words sinking in. “You didn’t seem to care when you told me to leave,” you said, your voice trembling slightly.

Toji flinched, the guilt in his expression deepening. “I didn’t mean it,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I was angry, and I said the worst thing I could think of. But the second you walked out that door, I knew I’d screwed up. You’re… you’re the only good thing I’ve got, and I let my pride get in the way of showing you that.”

Your throat tightened at his words, the vulnerability in his voice something you rarely heard. You wanted to stay angry, to keep your guard up, but the way he looked at you—like he was afraid he’d already lost you—made it hard to hold onto your resentment.

“Toji,” you said softly, your voice breaking.

He closed the distance between you in two steps, his large hands settling gently on your shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours. “I’m sorry for shutting you out, for not calling, for all of it. I know I don’t make this easy, but I need you to know… I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to.”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you looked down, trying to hide them. But Toji tilted your chin up, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

“I’ll do better,” he promised, his voice steady. “I don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out. Just… come home. Please.”

You searched his face for any hint of insincerity, but all you saw was raw honesty. Slowly, you nodded, your walls finally crumbling.

“Okay,” you whispered.

Relief flooded his face, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. For the first time in days, you felt like you could breathe again.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice muffled in your hair. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to.”

You closed your eyes, the warmth of his embrace easing the ache in your heart. “Just don’t make me regret it,” you murmured.

“Never,” he said, his voice resolute. “You’re stuck with me now, doll.”

Despite everything, a small smile tugged at your lips. Maybe things wouldn’t be perfect, but for the first time in a while, you believed they could get better.

Let me know in the comments how you liked it :3

[sayokoni]

“The Apology”

Warnings: Just pure comfort

Final part 3

The soft knock on the door startled you. You hesitated, staring at it as your heart pounded in your chest. You weren’t ready to face him—not yet—but the familiar weight of his presence seeped through the walls, making it impossible to ignore.

“Toji?” you called out, your voice wary.

“Yeah,” came his reply, low and rough. There was a pause, then, “Can I come in?”

You swallowed hard, debating whether to let him. The memory of your argument was still raw, his harsh words echoing in your mind. But curiosity, or maybe hope, got the better of you.

“Fine,” you said, your tone colder than you intended.

The door opened slowly, and Toji stepped inside, his tall frame filling the small guest room. He looked different—humbled, almost. His shoulders were tense, and his usual cocky demeanor was absent. For a moment, neither of you spoke.

“You found me,” you said quietly, breaking the silence.

“Of course I did,” he replied, his voice soft but firm. “I had to.”

You turned away, crossing your arms. “Why? So you could tell me I’m overreacting again?”

“No,” he said immediately, his tone steady. “I came to say I was wrong.”

That made you pause. You glanced at him, and the sincerity in his expression caught you off guard.

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” Toji continued, stepping closer but keeping his distance. “I was pissed, and I let my mouth run without thinking. But that’s not an excuse. I hurt you, and I can’t take it back. I just…” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration flickering in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think I don’t care. Because I do. More than I know how to say.”

You blinked, his words sinking in. “You didn’t seem to care when you told me to leave,” you said, your voice trembling slightly.

Toji flinched, the guilt in his expression deepening. “I didn’t mean it,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I was angry, and I said the worst thing I could think of. But the second you walked out that door, I knew I’d screwed up. You’re… you’re the only good thing I’ve got, and I let my pride get in the way of showing you that.”

Your throat tightened at his words, the vulnerability in his voice something you rarely heard. You wanted to stay angry, to keep your guard up, but the way he looked at you—like he was afraid he’d already lost you—made it hard to hold onto your resentment.

“Toji,” you said softly, your voice breaking.

He closed the distance between you in two steps, his large hands settling gently on your shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours. “I’m sorry for shutting you out, for not calling, for all of it. I know I don’t make this easy, but I need you to know… I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to.”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you looked down, trying to hide them. But Toji tilted your chin up, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

“I’ll do better,” he promised, his voice steady. “I don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out. Just… come home. Please.”

You searched his face for any hint of insincerity, but all you saw was raw honesty. Slowly, you nodded, your walls finally crumbling.

“Okay,” you whispered.

Relief flooded his face, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. For the first time in days, you felt like you could breathe again.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice muffled in your hair. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to.”

You closed your eyes, the warmth of his embrace easing the ache in your heart. “Just don’t make me regret it,” you murmured.

“Never,” he said, his voice resolute. “You’re stuck with me now, doll.”

Despite everything, a small smile tugged at your lips. Maybe things wouldn’t be perfect, but for the first time in a while, you believed they could get better.

Let me know in the comments how you liked it :3

[sayokoni]

“The Search”🔎

Part 2 of “Gone to far”

Warnings: a little bit of cursing

Summery: Toji spends a frantic day looking for you after your fight, growing desperate with each failed lead. Swallowing his pride, he seeks out your friend, finds you, and prepares to make amends.

The moment the sun rose, Toji was already out the door. He had spent the night sleepless staring at the empty space in the bed where you used to be. The fight replayed in his mind like a broken record, each harsh word he’d said weighing heavier the longer you were gone. He hated how helpless he felt. Toji Fushiguro wasn’t the type to chase anyone or beg for forgiveness. But this was different. You were different. He needed to find you.

The first stop was the café you liked to visit. Toji walked in, his sharp green eyes scanning the tables, his towering presence making the few patrons uneasy. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, but his tension was obvious—he didn’t bother hiding it.

“Excuse me,” he said to the barista, his voice low and firm. “Have you seen her?”

He held up his phone, showing a photo of you from a happier time.

The barista squinted, then shook her head nervously. “Uh… sorry, no. Not today.”

Toji clicked his tongue in frustration, his jaw tightening. “If you see her, tell her I came by.”

Before she could respond, he was already out the door, heading to the park.

The park was quiet in the early morning, dew clinging to the grass. Toji wandered along the paved paths, his gaze sweeping over every bench and shaded spot where you might have gone to think.

As he passed an older couple sitting on a bench, he stopped abruptly, turning toward them. “Sorry to bother you,” he said gruffly, “but have you seen this woman?” He showed them your picture.

The older man looked up, startled, while his wife studied the photo. “No, I’m afraid not,” she said kindly. “Is she missing?”

Toji nodded once, curtly. “Thanks anyway.”

He moved on, his steps growing heavier with each empty corner. The thought of you wandering around upset—or worse, in danger—gnawed at him.

By midday, Toji’s frustration was boiling over. He searched the streets, asking shopkeepers, passersby, anyone who might have seen you. Some people answered politely; others avoided him altogether, intimidated by his intense demeanor.

At one point, he stopped at a food stall where you used to grab snacks. “Hey,” he barked, catching the vendor’s attention. “Have you seen this girl?”

The vendor glanced at the photo and shrugged. “Not today, sorry.”

Toji slammed his fist against the counter in frustration, startling the vendor. “Damn it,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Hey, man, relax,” the vendor said nervously.

Toji shot him a glare before walking off, muttering curses under his breath.

As the sun began to set, Toji was growing desperate. His search led him to your friend’s apartment building—a place he had avoided earlier out of sheer pride. Now, his pride didn’t matter. Finding you did.

He knocked on the door sharply, his patience hanging by a thread. When your friend opened it, her expression immediately darkened at the sight of him.

“Toji,” she said flatly, crossing her arms. “What do you want?”

“Is she here?” he asked, his voice rough and urgent.

She didn’t answer immediately, her gaze scrutinizing him. “You think you can just show up here after everything you said to her? You’ve got some nerve.”

Toji’s lips thinned, and for a moment, he almost snapped back. But then he caught himself, guilt flickering in his eyes. “Look,” he said, his voice softer this time. “I know I messed up. I need to see her. Please.”

Your friend stared at him, clearly debating whether to slam the door in his face. Finally, she sighed. “She’s inside. But if you hurt her again, Toji, I swear—”

“I won’t,” he cut in, his tone firm. “I just want to fix this.”

With a nod, she stepped aside, letting him in.

As Toji approached the door to the guest room, his steps faltered for the first time that day. He raised a hand to knock, but hesitated. What if you refused to hear him out? What if it was too late?

Taking a deep breath, he finally knocked, the sound echoing in the quiet hallway.

Part 3???

[sayokoni]

“The Search”🔎

Part 2 of “Gone to far”

Warnings: a little bit of cursing

Summery: Toji spends a frantic day looking for you after your fight, growing desperate with each failed lead. Swallowing his pride, he seeks out your friend, finds you, and prepares to make amends.

The moment the sun rose, Toji was already out the door. He had spent the night sleepless staring at the empty space in the bed where you used to be. The fight replayed in his mind like a broken record, each harsh word he’d said weighing heavier the longer you were gone. He hated how helpless he felt. Toji Fushiguro wasn’t the type to chase anyone or beg for forgiveness. But this was different. You were different. He needed to find you.

The first stop was the café you liked to visit. Toji walked in, his sharp green eyes scanning the tables, his towering presence making the few patrons uneasy. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, but his tension was obvious—he didn’t bother hiding it.

“Excuse me,” he said to the barista, his voice low and firm. “Have you seen her?”

He held up his phone, showing a photo of you from a happier time.

The barista squinted, then shook her head nervously. “Uh… sorry, no. Not today.”

Toji clicked his tongue in frustration, his jaw tightening. “If you see her, tell her I came by.”

Before she could respond, he was already out the door, heading to the park.

The park was quiet in the early morning, dew clinging to the grass. Toji wandered along the paved paths, his gaze sweeping over every bench and shaded spot where you might have gone to think.

As he passed an older couple sitting on a bench, he stopped abruptly, turning toward them. “Sorry to bother you,” he said gruffly, “but have you seen this woman?” He showed them your picture.

The older man looked up, startled, while his wife studied the photo. “No, I’m afraid not,” she said kindly. “Is she missing?”

Toji nodded once, curtly. “Thanks anyway.”

He moved on, his steps growing heavier with each empty corner. The thought of you wandering around upset—or worse, in danger—gnawed at him.

By midday, Toji’s frustration was boiling over. He searched the streets, asking shopkeepers, passersby, anyone who might have seen you. Some people answered politely; others avoided him altogether, intimidated by his intense demeanor.

At one point, he stopped at a food stall where you used to grab snacks. “Hey,” he barked, catching the vendor’s attention. “Have you seen this girl?”

The vendor glanced at the photo and shrugged. “Not today, sorry.”

Toji slammed his fist against the counter in frustration, startling the vendor. “Damn it,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Hey, man, relax,” the vendor said nervously.

Toji shot him a glare before walking off, muttering curses under his breath.

As the sun began to set, Toji was growing desperate. His search led him to your friend’s apartment building—a place he had avoided earlier out of sheer pride. Now, his pride didn’t matter. Finding you did.

He knocked on the door sharply, his patience hanging by a thread. When your friend opened it, her expression immediately darkened at the sight of him.

“Toji,” she said flatly, crossing her arms. “What do you want?”

“Is she here?” he asked, his voice rough and urgent.

She didn’t answer immediately, her gaze scrutinizing him. “You think you can just show up here after everything you said to her? You’ve got some nerve.”

Toji’s lips thinned, and for a moment, he almost snapped back. But then he caught himself, guilt flickering in his eyes. “Look,” he said, his voice softer this time. “I know I messed up. I need to see her. Please.”

Your friend stared at him, clearly debating whether to slam the door in his face. Finally, she sighed. “She’s inside. But if you hurt her again, Toji, I swear—”

“I won’t,” he cut in, his tone firm. “I just want to fix this.”

With a nod, she stepped aside, letting him in.

As Toji approached the door to the guest room, his steps faltered for the first time that day. He raised a hand to knock, but hesitated. What if you refused to hear him out? What if it was too late?

Taking a deep breath, he finally knocked, the sound echoing in the quiet hallway.

Part 3???

[sayokoni]

“Gone Too Far”

💔- Angst no comfort

Warnings: Hurt with no comfort, Yelling, some Cursing, Toji being an ass again!, reader ends up leaving ( let me known if I missed smt )

Summery: Toji came home late again, leading to a heated argument where harsh words are exchanged. The reader leaves and Toji grows guilty

“ I’ll be home in an hour doll ”

This was the text that toji sent you 5 hours ago but the clock struck midnight, and you were still sitting alone in the dining room. The untouched dinner on the table had long since gone cold, the faint aroma now mingling with the bitterness in your chest. This wasn’t the first time Toji had been late, but tonight, it felt like too much.

When the front door finally creaked open, your stomach churned with a mix of relief and anger. Heavy boots thudded against the floor as Toji stepped into the room. His black combat shirt was smeared with dirt, his hair disheveled, and his expression was unreadable.

“You’re late,” you snapped, standing up abruptly.

Toji glanced at you, his face calm but tired. “Yeah. Work.”

“That’s all you have to say? Work?”

“What else do you want me to say?” he replied, tossing a small bag onto the counter. “I’ve been out all night making sure we have money in the damn bank.”

“You said you’d be home 5 hours ago Toji!” your voice rose, frustration boiling over. “You always say you’ll try, but it’s always the same! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

Toji froze, his dark green eyes narrowing as a dangerous edge crept into his voice. “Don’t care about anyone? I’m breaking my back to keep this roof over your head, and you’re standing there acting like I’m some kind of deadbeat?”

“Breaking your back?” you scoffed, tears stinging your eyes. “I never asked for your blood money, Toji! All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be here—for me, for us. But you can’t even do that!”

“You don’t get it,” he snarled, his voice cold. “You don’t know what it’s like out there. You wouldn’t last a second in my world, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be standing here complaining at me if you did.”

“And whose fault is that?” you shot back. “You don’t tell me anything! You keep me in the dark, then act like I should just accept it! I can’t keep doing this, Toji. I won’t.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be here at all,” he growled, his words cutting like a blade. The room fell into an icy silence, the weight of his words hitting both of you at the same time. You stared at him, your chest tightening as tears threatened to spill.

“Fine,” you said, your voice shaking but firm. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”

Without waiting for a response, you stormed out of the house. Toji didn’t move, his fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tight. He told himself you’d come back once you cooled off. But as the hours turned into days, he realized he was wrong.

Part 2?

[sayokoni]

“Gone Too Far”

💔- Angst no comfort

Warnings: Hurt with no comfort, Yelling, some Cursing, Toji being an ass again!, reader ends up leaving ( let me known if I missed smt )

Summery: Toji came home late again, leading to a heated argument where harsh words are exchanged. The reader leaves and Toji grows guilty

“ I’ll be home in an hour doll ”

This was the text that toji sent you 5 hours ago but the clock struck midnight, and you were still sitting alone in the dining room. The untouched dinner on the table had long since gone cold, the faint aroma now mingling with the bitterness in your chest. This wasn’t the first time Toji had been late, but tonight, it felt like too much.

When the front door finally creaked open, your stomach churned with a mix of relief and anger. Heavy boots thudded against the floor as Toji stepped into the room. His black combat shirt was smeared with dirt, his hair disheveled, and his expression was unreadable.

“You’re late,” you snapped, standing up abruptly.

Toji glanced at you, his face calm but tired. “Yeah. Work.”

“That’s all you have to say? Work?”

“What else do you want me to say?” he replied, tossing a small bag onto the counter. “I’ve been out all night making sure we have money in the damn bank.”

“You said you’d be home 5 hours ago Toji!” your voice rose, frustration boiling over. “You always say you’ll try, but it’s always the same! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

Toji froze, his dark green eyes narrowing as a dangerous edge crept into his voice. “Don’t care about anyone? I’m breaking my back to keep this roof over your head, and you’re standing there acting like I’m some kind of deadbeat?”

“Breaking your back?” you scoffed, tears stinging your eyes. “I never asked for your blood money, Toji! All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be here—for me, for us. But you can’t even do that!”

“You don’t get it,” he snarled, his voice cold. “You don’t know what it’s like out there. You wouldn’t last a second in my world, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be standing here complaining at me if you did.”

“And whose fault is that?” you shot back. “You don’t tell me anything! You keep me in the dark, then act like I should just accept it! I can’t keep doing this, Toji. I won’t.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be here at all,” he growled, his words cutting like a blade. The room fell into an icy silence, the weight of his words hitting both of you at the same time. You stared at him, your chest tightening as tears threatened to spill.

“Fine,” you said, your voice shaking but firm. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”

Without waiting for a response, you stormed out of the house. Toji didn’t move, his fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tight. He told himself you’d come back once you cooled off. But as the hours turned into days, he realized he was wrong.

Part 2?

[sayokoni]

Apologies 

💔- angst to fluff

Warnings : Angst but fluff at the end, little bit of cursing, yelling, crying, Toji being an ass, sensitive reader (tell me if I forgot smt)

Summary: Toji was exhausted and just wanted to relax but you had a unpleasant surprise, that resulted him to take out his frustration on you

Word count: 1,7k

11:44pm

That’s the time his watch was telling him he had a lot of jobs lately so toji was rarely home the whole last week and also he was really exhausted and to top all off that the last job he did didn’t bring him the amount of money he hoped to get so he was really pissed and on the edge right now. But that’s now over he had finish everything he had to do so now he can finally relax and get this shitty week behind him. He sighed before He quietly opened the front door because he taught that you were already sleeping but to his surprise there was still light burning in the living room so he tip toed in case you are sleeping one the couch but you weren’t laying one the couch to.

„ Toji ?” A sing full voice bounced through the room „ Toji are you back home” you said as you walked towards the living room

„ yeah I’m back did ya missed me?” He asked as he opened his arms to let you hug him

„ yeah I missed you a lot glad you got home in one pice “ you said while hugging him tight

He chuckled „ me too ,I just want to relax now would you like to join me? “ he asked has he was getting ready to plumb onto the couch but you stopped him „ yeah but first i need to show you something I have a surprise for you “ you said while barley holding back your smile „ oh you do but can’t that wait till tomorrow I’m really ti-“ you didn’t let him finish his sentence „ please toji it’ll only take a minute “ you said in hope he give in „ fine what can I do when you asked so sweet what is the surprise? “ he asked now interested what you’re about to show him „ come I’ll show you “ you giggled you were so excited to show him your work soo you grabbed his hand and let him to his office.

„ TA DAA” you said with a big smile „ what the hell?” Toji asked dumbfounded you were a bit confused but you went one „ I rearranged your Uhm Workplace or your “ you whispers „ weapons room “ but he kept looking like he saw a ghost „ soo I taught it would look nice if your desk would face the window for a good view and I cleaned and rearrange you weapons- “ after that sentence it was like toji came back to life „ you did what???“ you didn’t quite like his tone „ Uhm I rearrange your weapons and paperwork” you said nodding a bit disappointed at his reaction „ no no no you messed everything up where was the Pille of paper I left on the desk and who the hell allowed you to Touch my weapons don’t you know some of them contains poison” he raised his voice at you, he was yelling , you were a bit shocked at his reaction but understood his pov „ I tried to keep your things the way they were I just wanted to help you I didn’t mean any harm sorry toji”

You didn’t mean to do that you just wanted to please him because he always said that’s he want to change the room „ well next time don’t do you know how long it gone cost me to rearrange the mess you did” his voice got poison in it and he never talk to you like that

„ I really didn’t mean it toji if you want I can help you fix everything I’m really sorry please forgive me” there were already tears starting to form in your eyes but you couldn’t let them out you don’t want to upset him more

„ your excuse can fu*k me I don’t need your fu*king help “ he said while turning his back to you. That did the rest for you, you couldn't hold back your tears any longer so you almost run to the bedroom. Toji could only here you’re footsteps going away from him and the sound of door closing he sighed and pinched the bridge off his nose as he started to put his things back the way they were

More than two hours had passed but he was finally done as he took a few steps away from his desk he noticed that the room actually looked really nice you really put a lot of effort in it and to top it all you moved his desk and furniture and they were all quite heavy a big wave of guilt washes over toji whohe realised how he talked to you, he shouldn’t reacted the why he did he shouldn’t have yelled at you like that for trying to make him happy, he needs to fix this fast!

So he went to your sheared bedroom knocked a few times in hope of an answer but he only was meet with silence „ y/n “ he said softly he opened the door just to be meet with a perfect made bed „ what the hell?” weren’t you here he clearly heard you walking in this direction and also the noise of door closing so there is only one other room you could be. Now he was standing in fort of the guest room he knocked no response so he tried to opens the door but it was closed yep you where definitely in there and it only confirmed him that he messed up bad „ y/n? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that I just…” he doesn’t know what to say to you but he continues „ I was really tired and I totally overreacted I know that this is not an excuse for the way I treated you but I want you to know I’m really sorry” he said with so much genuine that one could clearly tell that he meant it but still he was meet with silence he was about to go when he heard a light snore Coming from the other side of the door oh you were sleeping he looked at his watch and…„ what already 2 o'clock in the morning” he was so deep into rearranging everything that he lost track of the time. Back in your sherd bed room toji change in something more comfortable while thinking on how he could make it up to you his mind was still racing as he laid in bed feeling so incredibly guilty he hopes he can solve that issue fast.

You woke up white the sun in your eyes and nasty headache when you stood up you were confused when you noticed that you were in the guest bedroom until it all came back to you

„ next time don’t, you messed everything up, you excuse can fu*k me” Toji’s hate filled words were going through your mind over and over again, right there was an argument last night. You considers lying back down again and just sleeping the headache away but then you stomach starts to growl you sighed and had give in. You slowly walk out of the room tip toed in case toji was still sleeping when you reached the living room you saw your phone one the table right you had forgotten it last night here…but never mind that you looked in horror at the time at was already past 14 o’clock you slept till noon great normally toji would’ve woken you up long time ago so you could breakfast together but for now that wasn’t the case. We’re even is he when is passed noon he should be awake by now when you went to the kitchen it was the way you left it last night ‘ din’t he eat?’ You asked yourself. It was so quiet almost to quiet so you found the courage to got to your shared bedroom. You slowly open the door and pushed your head through it and, the room was empty so you went completely inside he wasn’t here the bed was messed up so he clearly slept here so where was he know you knew for sure he don’t had any jobs today so you started to worry ‘ d-did he leave no no no way he can’t leave or can he it was just a mistake you dint‘t mean any harm really how long was he gone?‘ tears starting to form again you can’t lose him you were about to start to cry your eyes out again but suddenly you heard the front door you went to check if It was toji or maybe he send somebody to get rid of you, you slowly made your way to the front door till you saw toji that was trying to get his shoes of „ toji ?” You called out his name „ y/n?” Your lips started to wobble „ I am sorry Toji I didn’t mean to make you mad really please forgive me please don’t don’t leave me please” your voice broke at the end

„ doll what do you mean I shouldn’t leave I dint’t and I’ll never will listen to me I’m the one who should apologise I shouldn’t have yelled at you for trying to make me happy really I’m so fucking sorry I felt so guilty I couldn’t sleep last night and you, you went through all that trouble rearranging my office even tho it’s not you Job but you still did it I don’t deserve you at all you are way to good to me and even tho you apologise I keep yelling at you I’m sorry y/n “

Now your were to one who is dumbfounded he is apologizing??

You started to tear up again

„ I’m sorry toji for troubling you but “ you look directly into his eyes with a pout

„ never yell at me like that I really thought you left me “ the last sentence was muffled because you buried your face into his chest

„ I would never leave you doll ya know that I just wanted to get you some flowers and chocolate to apologize that’s why I quickly run to the store” you just now noticed the flowers behind his back

„ aww toji I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH”

You said while hugging him tightly

„ love ya to doll”

I hope y’all like it tell me about it in the comments :3

I apologize again because I’m sure there are mistakes in it

[sayokoni]

Hi there! I’m Sayo

I love love love Jjk and Toji and write about it. English is not my Frist language so don’t judge me :p

I mostly write for Jjk but I can do different fandoms on request 

reqs: OPEN