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I, As A Catholic Through The Years

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The Pantillo Family: Plain Filipinos and Learning Catholics Gathered By Love 

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Dear Kuya Geyv,

I feel lost. I feel lost from my own self. I was once this motivated and happy kid. And now I feel tired. I just don’t care about anything anymore. In school, I no longer find happiness in doing work. I do it because I have to. I sometimes feel that everything that’s asked of me to do is suffocating. I’m sick of the same routine. I may have become uniterested as well on almost everything. I’m tired. I’m stressed out. Please help. ————————————— Dearest Geyv,

I know you and you’re right. You are happy and eager. I have seen you grow and also, I quite agree on what you expressed. Seeing you change also made me question what happened to you.

Let’s try to go back. Let’s retrospect. What kept you motivated before and did this motivation made you happy? Remember that we motivate ourselves from things that accompany us like our friends to help us achieve our goals. Maybe what you are after right now is the reward in the end. Stop focusing about rewards. Sometimes, the most rewarding things are not those that are found in the end, but along the way of the getting those targets. I am sensing you feel so pressured about getting those credits at the end of high school. It’s okay and there’s nothing wrong about it. But if this goal of yours disrupts your happiness and corrupts your character, then this isn’t healthy anymore. You might become separated or detached from the true you. We achieve our goals genuinely by struggling, but with sincere acceptance and compassion. I don’t know what it holds in the end to do and have something that was made out of force. Let things flow naturally and come in your way, and always take control.

You mentioned you’re stressed out right. Maybe because you have been trying to perfect everything. I know you always want perfection. But remember these lines from Seth Godin, “Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.” Nothing’s wrong with aiming for perfection becuase this only shows for your commitment or dedication on your work. However, too much of it is not also healthy as this causes you to think too much and leads to stress. Then you said you become uninterested. This is a negative side effect of stress. Because of your brain being drained and strained, you can no longer apprecaite things and deny its purpose.

Maybe what you’re experiencing is just part of you growing up. Your period is the most vulnerable I guess because of the several changes and challenges along the way. Just keep in mind that these challenges are not for you to be toppled but for you to be grounded in life. Later on the learnings you have will help you grow and become mature. I’m so glad you wrote me this letter. This only shows that you are aware of yourself and this is a sign of your development for you have tried to assess how you are as a person. I know you Geyv. I have faith in you. You can overcome this current conditions. Remember that life has more to offer so keep sailing. Thank you for trusting me as well. I hope this helps.

Love, Kuya Geyv

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We are all leaders and followers. Both are equal. Both are important.

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The Emotion Challenge

Our emotions are realities we cannot see yet always illuminates to be felt. It’s powerful. It could even manipulate us. We are in control of our own selves, and so on our emotions. Here are some ways to manage your emotions like a boss. 

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To live is not about what you have but who you have that really counts. No matter how bumpy our paths could be, our family is always there to support us and love us. These are real things that keeps us going in life. My family has reared me to be the person I am today. Without them I am nobody. They didn’t just provide me materials that I need and want. They showed me of what it really means to love and how good it feels to be loved. Through them, I have been trying to love wholeheartedly. To love with no questions. Indeed, your family defines almost everything about you. Your family allows you to be the person you really are. They are those who will accept you no matter what. Love your family for they are treasures to keep forever. 

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How The Dog Loved The Cat

Once there was a dog who was afraid of mice. That these mice would chase the poor dog instead. Days passed and the dog met a cat. They became friends that the cat would fend off those mice with her sharp claws. The dog loved the cat so much that he would carry the cat behind him everyday as they walk through the alleys of the city. One evening, the dog and the cat found themselves trapped on a mesh in a construction site. The dog made it out first. The cat was struggling as her sharp claws were caught up badly. The cat made it out afterwards. Both panted and continued their stroll. As they entered a dark alley, a group of mice was dining over a spilled trash bin. The dog was startled and ran behind the cat. The cat did her thing but the mice just stared at her blankly and continued their feast. The dog then saw that the cat’s claws were busted. The dog got more hysterical and ran away. The cat looked and waited for her friend. She waited for days and nights. The cat sighed and said, “I guess he only loved me for my claws”

Sometimes we only love someone from a chunk of who they are. We tend to focus on the things they could primarily give without thinking that these “givings” could not last. We often find ourselves indifferent towards them after we realize that they can no longer give what we need from them. In my story, the dog never loved the cat. He just needed it. My kind of love is the love that accepts everything about you.

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KICKING STRESS’ BUTT

I want every angle of everything to be perfect. I tend to overthink, and this causes me stress. Thankfully, I am still sane and able to cope with it. The GIFs above are my simple and practical ways of kicking stress’ butt. 

SLEEPING 

Dearest sleep,                                                                                                       I’m sorry I neglected you when I was little. Today, I am still little, but I realized you are very precious. I can’t get enough of you. Please come back. I need you. 

OREO, ZUZU, BEASTY

Our 3 dogs are lovely and never failed to cheer us up. Even though we can’t communicate verbally, those wags of their long tails, sudden winks, and “tickle me” positions just comfort me and complete our days.

EAT

What could be much more comforting than eating? Look at those cheeseee *drools*

I DO SING

If I say this, probably those swords were not just pointed at me but were immediately pierced right through me. But please, it makes me feel relaxed at some times. Come on sing with me!

OH YEAH! OH YEAH! AHAH! AND TURN!

Just break free. Footloose!

MOVIES

Movies gives us a dreamy world and somehow distracts us from the reality we are in. Somehow, it helps us recover fun and develop creative ideas to sail on with reality.

CONCERTO NO.2 3RD MOVEMENT

The very first concerto I learned and currently my favorite. The soft sound of the violin calms my mind and my body. 

(Courtesy of Google Images)

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To educate oneself is a right of everyone. Learning allows us to develop our cognition. This aspect of our development allows us to become mature and be grounded for every turning point there is in our lives. As students, we are loaded with multiple fields of knowledge (basing on our level that is). These has to be learned fully for us to progress, and so we study these lessons from school. 

I am currently in Grade 11 and I present to you these 6 study habits that I hope will help you improve in understanding further your lessons. 

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The Bird That Can’t Fly

Certain group of birds are given the wings to fly. Blu has his story of why he can’t. Certain points in our lives are the reasons why we fail to live the expectations of others. Like Blu, he fell off from his tree when he was newly-hatched and thus making him flightless. Blu hides this blemish of his. However, our true selves are always tested. We can never hide who we really are. Along the way, this blemish of Blu was helped by the birds around him. 

How we look like could be the basis of how others expect us to be. Honestly, I have been trying to look like I don’t need anybody. I have this idea that “Everybody leaves anyway, so don’t attach yourself only to get broken in the end”. With this, my family expects me already to be an independent member. They expect me to be on my own, and responsible for my own choices. I feel so self-sufficient, yet incomplete. Deep inside, I still feel terrible about being alone. I’m still longing for their attention and time. I still want them to ask how my day was. Fortunately, if in our vernacular, “Pareho ra ang dugo nga gadagan sa inyung pamilya” . My parents recognized this corrupting character of me and helped me get rid of it. They told me that, “It  doesn’t matter if we get broken in the end, at least it means you had something. How the story ends doesn’t really matter. What matters the most is what you have become in that relationship to be better for something new.” 

I was trying to be someone else I am not. I thought that being brave and prepared means to be on your own alone. I am truthfully clingy, and relational. I shouldn’t be pushing people away. In conclusion, I guess how we project ourselves is the definition of what others could take from us. They provide expectations on how they think we are. To avoid these unwanted expectations, show your true self and no consequences will be paid. 

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ALLOW ME

Allow me to be who I am

And I can be the best of me

Allow me to be who I am

And I can be the best for you 

Allow me to express myself

And be helped

Allow me to know yourself

And I can help

They allowed me to learn in every aspect

And I represented our school

I allowed her to help me 

And now I can play concertos

They allowed me to lead

And I have grown better

I allowed myself to be lead

And I learned further

I allow myself to develop

So I challenge myself to be an ideal student

I allow myself to love

So I chose to be the ideal son

Allow me to be who I am 

And I will cure the sick

Allow me to be who I am

And I will help them quick

Allow me to be who I am

Accept me for who I am

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I believe in myself and I am happy to know that the people around me does the same. My self, friends, family and everyone in my life contributes to my well-being. They respond my calls and help me in my endeavors. I am so thankful to have these people. I really hope for our relationships to blossom 🤗

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The Man’s Mandala

A man creates his wall to protect himself from everything unfamiliar. He does not expose himself that easy. Somehow, the walls he chooses to build allow him to detach himself from society’s expected definition of “him”. Somehow, the walls he chooses to build allow him to be himself and set terms in his own ways. Certain points in his life impacted so greatly that it became the foundations of his true self. His world is constantly changing. He is constantly learning. He is bound to unravel more points in his miniaturized world. 

The man feels wonderful and light about himself. He sets mood in the most vibrant ways possible. He feels one with nature and comfortable with the condition he is in. Deep inside, the man maintains balance between who he really is and how he should be to the environment he’s participating. Notice how his colors bring movement from plain black and white to vibrating reflections of himself. His true self allows him to move. His true self allows him to resonate and be someone in the world. As a whole, the man knows how to adjust himself. The man unfolded aspects in the process of his holistic development. He could be anyone. BUT, he knows who and how he is, and he considers these the most. 

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It’s SC 

Which of the following best defines SC? A. Super Cute B. Student Council C Santa Claus D. Supreme Court

Well, I am my own being and I see myself as Super Cute. I really think of myself as a flexible person. I could be an SC officer (which I was) willing to serve. I could be Santa Claus willing to give ( if I also have something to give). I could stand for myself and for the people in need. More over, my name “SC” came from my parents’ initials - Sammy and Cecel. “Geyv” from the combination of my late grandparents. Seriously though, I am SC Geyv Obaob Pantillo. I am 16 years old. I live in Acmac, Iligan City. We are 5 in the family and I am the cutest, I mean the youngest. I am very groovy and happy. I am smart and always curious. I keep on asking questions about things on its cellular level. I consider myself lucky because for 16 years, my family never failed to show me support and that they really are the people I can count on to for the rest of my life.

I am constantly learning about myself. I can feel changes within me and the environment I belong. I am afraid of changes or replacments, but I believe change allows us to learn from the past and be grounded for the future. Replacements allow us to find something better and who deserves us better. I believe our “best selves” are not achieved, but is asked by the person of how he or she would want us to be for him or for her. I still have more to explore about myself. This exlporation never stops. I have to develop my self from the genuine challenges of life. I have to engage myself on the wheel of life. Along the way, I know my family would be very supportive and new people will be presented to introduce new pages of life’s eternal book.