#myperdev

[weirdiswhatyoucallnormal]

EXPECTATIONS: The Cause Of My Accomplishment/s or The Cause Of My Downfall

It is completely normal for a person to expect something from someone, and that is why we sometimes expect something from people. The thing is, there are a lot of people who would tend to say, “We shouldn’t give a fvck on people’s expectations.” but truthfully speaking, we should listen to what people will expect from us. Take this scenario for example, you are working with a group, and for everyone to be able to contribute, tasks were divided among people in the group. It’s completely normal for people to expect that you live up to/do the task assigned to you. You could not simply say, “I am my own person, and I should not listen to what you have to say.”. Expectations are only wrong when it is already too much, and if it is beyond our capacity already. 

Expectations are healthy. They challenge us to do our best especially if the people who expect certain things from you, are people who are dear to you. As humans, we initially have the willingness to not let people down. The video above may seem like I can’t take expectations, but that’s only during times when people expect too much from me. I will always try to live up to people’s expectations, but when it’s beyond me already, please understand that it IS beyond me. They can pressure me so much that it could ruin everything that I do, even if it may be simple. Activities which are easy for me, will become hard if I am pressured. So please, if you expect something from me, make sure that it is within my power!

*flies away*

[purplehairedshinigami]

Symbols for the genogram

[mariellekayev-blog]

My Personal Mandala

I choose this mandala; the yin and yang, because it represents light and dark, positive and negative, or everything that has opposites. The yin and yang maintains the harmony of the universe. I can compare yin and yang to my life because like any other people, there are also times that we feel happiness as well as sadness. I am quite satisfied with the colors that I combined in the dark side because even in my struggles, my family, friends, and God (they represent the colors) made me feel that I should let my struggles and problems be my strengths, not my weaknesses.

[idiosyncratic-reveries-blog]

A Personal Mandala

“We are all a little bit something more”

“Mandala, a generic term for any diagram, chart or geometric pattern that represents the cosmos metaphysically or symbolically; a microcosm of the universe.”

We are more than just our faces, we are more than just our physical appearances. What creates our identity is really our personalities. Humans, as we are, we uphold so many personalities; shallow or deep, visible or invisible, shown or hidden, and fake or real. The personality ,likewise the characteristics and attitude, we show vary and depends on who we interact and engage with. Some people might experience our lighter sides, and some, well, may experience our darker sides. We have varying personalities, personalities that may have been developed over time due to development(growth), experiences and even due to socialization with other people or personalities that a person is already born with, naturally. The kind of personality we show may also depend on how we feel, emotions play a major role in our lives as it can deeply affect our performances and even interaction itself. 

Steven Aitchison believes that, “ Inside each and every one of us lies multiple personalities. Not in a ‘dissociative order’ kind of way, rather different personalities in different areas of our lives, and each of these areas have different characteristics, in effect multiple personalities.”

I’m a type of person who upholds multiple personalities, but not in the disorder type or way though. My personality varies depending on the other person I’m interacting to and also depends on my emotions or feelings as well. If I’m interacting with an acquaintance or with a stranger, I only show a single part of my personality. Call me fake, thought I don’t know why you can call me fake because I’m still showing a part of who I am, but this is my way of guarding my “self-wall”. I can only show who the real me is if I have known that certain person for a very long time and if I’m comfortable with him/her. Some people might even come into contact with my darker or bad side, not that I want to, it’s just that there are some people who think they are just too good for others and they think highly of themselves. Tiredness and restlessness can also cause me to get irritated easily, whereas if I’m in a great mood I love to interact with people more.

Just like how multiple colors of dripping paint mixes together in the end, once you get to know me better and I as well get to know you better. You’ll get to experience what my real personality is, what the real me is like and how different my identity is from what you perceive of me based on your judgments. You’ll get to experience what the real me is behind and without those cover-ups. That is why you need to know a certain person first before judging them because what if they are just showing a single part of their personality? It may sound scary how if you know me better, you get to experience the real me better. But trust me, the real me is far from scary. 

Humans might be the reflection of the world, but this mandala is the reflection of me. 

Til next time,

xoxo, Kyla.

[scpantillo-blog]

ALLOW ME

Allow me to be who I am

And I can be the best of me

Allow me to be who I am

And I can be the best for you 

Allow me to express myself

And be helped

Allow me to know yourself

And I can help

They allowed me to learn in every aspect

And I represented our school

I allowed her to help me 

And now I can play concertos

They allowed me to lead

And I have grown better

I allowed myself to be lead

And I learned further

I allow myself to develop

So I challenge myself to be an ideal student

I allow myself to love

So I chose to be the ideal son

Allow me to be who I am 

And I will cure the sick

Allow me to be who I am

And I will help them quick

Allow me to be who I am

Accept me for who I am

[smbmperdev]

MANDALA

Sun and Moon

Sun and moon signify the basic principle of life, where there is good, there will also be bad. They also represent the fact that everything has a dark and a light side. Nothing in the world we have created is perfect. The essence of being human is the lack of perfection. Both these ideas occur simultaneously in everyone’s life and there cannot be only good or bad in any person’s life. As the sun rises and sets everyday, every person has his days of glories and nights of darkness in his life. Some people also believe that the union of the sun and the moon represents unity in diversity or the feeling of oneness. The sun and the moon also represent cycles. Everything has a cycle: that which lives must die. Cycles are a necessary part of life, and they make life all the more worth living.

I placed an anchor in the center as it can be something/someone who holds one in place, and can provide strength to hold on no matter how rough things may get.

[fickleminded--heart]

Expectation Feels

I don’t like the feeling when I know someone is expecting from me because I might disappoint them. It is also suffocating in my part because I don’t get to do the things that I want and beyond my capacity because I have standards to meet in order for me to please the people who are expecting from me. Expectation is the root of all heartaches, so why expect? I want to live a life in my own expectations and not from the others. My needs and wants also matters. When someone is expecting from me it feels like my freedom is being on hold. I don’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations. I just hope that people can understand that I can’t please everyone and I can’t be perfect

[anotherspectrum-blog]

                    WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN AUTHENTIC LEADER

   To be an authentic leader may be the hardest character to portray in this world, because people might sometimes not appreciate your standards and your system of ruling. But in order to be remembered as a true leader is to simply serve others while you set aside your self - interest.  I agree that there might be minorities that hates your administration just like previous presidents such as Cory Aquino or may be Erap Estrada. But, we can never eliminate these instances, all we have to do is be a leader that seeks transcendental solutions for issues. 

  But on the objective point: your attitude towards your constituents is much more important to build a healthy country/ workplace/ community. These are the people/characters whom I considered as the truest leaders in history or even in the animation industry. They portray what a real leader could be by their actions and stories. Yes, I consider a simple character in movies since they are the art of a person that wants to create a story out of ordinary people, and these are real masterpieces.  

[weirdiswhatyoucallnormal]

MY CAREER GOALS!

I have already mentioned this in my selfie project blog, and yes, I am an aspiring doctor. I may not seem as the type/kind of guy who is willing to help, but it has always been in my heart to be the kind of guy who wants to help. Being able to do this kind of job is what I believe to be my calling since grade 3. When I was introduced to the basics of how our human body works, I got fascinated by the different principles the systems in our body follow, and for it to reach complexity to a whole new level in which scientists even up to now, do not fully know about it intrigues me. I then felt a spark within me that wanted to become a scientist. Then that goal changed when I was in Grade 6. I was now able to see a bigger part of the world, and knowing about what difficulties less-fortunate people encounter saddens me. To think that treatment is only for those who have money, led me to the decision to become a doctor. Don’t get me wrong, I still had different options for jobs, but then again, the part of me who wants to help still prevailed, and I just had to pursue that goal. I will become a medical volunteer in the future although it may be risky, but there are a lot of people who needs the help of brave doctors despite the risk. 

MY RESPONSIBILITIES

I strongly believe that I am responsible for everything that I do, and for every situation caused by my doing/s. I believe that that is self-explanatory. But I do need to add some stuff which I also believe to be my responsibility. As an aspiring doctor, I believe that I will soon be responsible for the welfare of people who seek my help, whether they be in the same country as I am or outside. As I have stated earlier, I did want to become a scientist before, but being a doctor does not necessarily delete that dream completely. Being a doctor, I can still be part in some revolutionary breakthroughs in medical sciences, which may heal the diseases said to be incurable now. If I continue to choose the path which I sought, I should be responsible for it, and think selflessly, because that is what a doctor is all about. I really do hope that I will become a doctor soon.

MY ACHIEVEMENTS

I don’t really have a lot of achievements so this might be short. This has been gone long in the past, but yeah, I am a martial artist. I once won 3 gold medals in Karate and then I stopped. I still practice in my house though. I also practiced different kinds of martial arts, but had to stop because those martial arts establishments are not really accessible for me daily since they cannot be found in the place where I live. And yeah, I didn’t win anything so I guess it doesn’t count as an achievement? I graduated kindergarten receiving 2nd honorable mention, and also graduated grade school receiving Jose Rizal Honors Society Award. I was also part of MTAP first 2 years as a high school student(middle school student now, I guess), but I was a finalist only as a 1st year high school student and got 1st runner-up with my genius partner, Terri Destura. As a 3rd year high school student/Grade 9 student, I ended with the award, 1st runner-up in YAPIS, because of the impromptu speaking contest. The whole school ended up as overall 2nd runner-up. And when I was in my 4th year, I was a part of the Energy Quiz Show, and we did not win any awards, but we ended up in 7th or 8th place. It was also a very fun experience for me. I graduated high school with no awards, and I guess that’s just about it. I’m surprised that this part was not really short, *lol*. I hope to achieve more as I begin to take on my education seriously now.

That’s all :)) 

Doctor picture credits to:

https://dermamedical.co.uk/aesthetic-training-why-derma-medical/botox-training-courses-for-doctors/

[issaaab]

Most people, they want a love that’s ideal and perfect - where there is no wrongs, no pain, no error and rejection. This is why some people are not satisfied with the love they receive. That’s not the kind of love i want. I don't aspire for a love that’s perfect, because i know that human as we are, we are not capable of carrying out things that are flawless and ideal.

I’m hopeful for a love that can accept not only what is beautiful and pleasing - like good looks and a great personality, but also the flaws and blemishes that make a person unique from everyone else; that not only cherish the bliss that is shared but can also withstand downpours. A love that can be put into trial and would still work out and become stronger and better; a love that makes all the inevitable pain and aching that comes with loving worth it.

I aspire for a love that makes me feel alive - something that can make all typical notions feel special and important; where suddenly all that was once dull and grey is now bright and full of life - maybe even magical.

I know that there is only one person who is capable of giving love that is eternal, perfect and true - our Saviour. Only God is capable of loving fully and unconditionally - without error.

But in this temporary world, we are given people that are capable of loving us and that we should love in return - our family and friends (and maybe in the future, someone more significant than others :) )

All I hope for is to love and be loved as much as we humans were made to love.

[mariellekayev-blog]

Morale Boosters

Message to myself

Messages from my friends

From Jannessa Gucor

From Hannah Grace Magsalay  

From JM Bacallo

[idiosyncratic-reveries-blog]

“To thyself, from myself”

Hi ky!

I just want to say that I’m very proud of you. You have been doing such a great job in facing your problems and in holding on. Stop overthinking ky! If you failed in some point, use that mistake to do better next time. Don’t get so down and worried! Ky, please continue achieving for the best and dreaming big. You are your own you! Remember that you are uniquely different and being such is so much more beautiful, so stop being so insecure. Life is so short to fill it with regrets and worries so live life with an edge among the others and live life like it’s the last. Yes, the future might be scary but you can do it! I believe in you! I really really do believe in you! Always remember that you have great friends, great parents, a great brother and a great God that will always have your back. Keep your feet on the ground. Keep your faith and your determination roaring! BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND FULFILL YOUR HEART’S PASSIONS! You matter more than those judgmental words. Words can’t define who you really are, so let them talk.  Ky, be that strong, independent woman that you’ve always longed for. If you were able to surpass challenges before, why can’t you now? Prove them wrong ky, prove them wrong.

Love, Kyla

“Learn to look “up” to yourself rather than to keep on looking “down” to yourself. You’re the only one who can motivate and inspire yourself. Looking down at yourself will do you no good.”

You don’t need money to find happiness, sometimes simple things like having friends can make you the happiest and can make you find life more meaningful. Surround yourself with good people and everything will work out well.  

xoxo Kyla

PS. Click images to make it more readable and clearer

[scpantillo-blog]

The Bird That Can’t Fly

Certain group of birds are given the wings to fly. Blu has his story of why he can’t. Certain points in our lives are the reasons why we fail to live the expectations of others. Like Blu, he fell off from his tree when he was newly-hatched and thus making him flightless. Blu hides this blemish of his. However, our true selves are always tested. We can never hide who we really are. Along the way, this blemish of Blu was helped by the birds around him. 

How we look like could be the basis of how others expect us to be. Honestly, I have been trying to look like I don’t need anybody. I have this idea that “Everybody leaves anyway, so don’t attach yourself only to get broken in the end”. With this, my family expects me already to be an independent member. They expect me to be on my own, and responsible for my own choices. I feel so self-sufficient, yet incomplete. Deep inside, I still feel terrible about being alone. I’m still longing for their attention and time. I still want them to ask how my day was. Fortunately, if in our vernacular, “Pareho ra ang dugo nga gadagan sa inyung pamilya” . My parents recognized this corrupting character of me and helped me get rid of it. They told me that, “It  doesn’t matter if we get broken in the end, at least it means you had something. How the story ends doesn’t really matter. What matters the most is what you have become in that relationship to be better for something new.” 

I was trying to be someone else I am not. I thought that being brave and prepared means to be on your own alone. I am truthfully clingy, and relational. I shouldn’t be pushing people away. In conclusion, I guess how we project ourselves is the definition of what others could take from us. They provide expectations on how they think we are. To avoid these unwanted expectations, show your true self and no consequences will be paid. 

[itsmejasonibay-blog]

My dream girl...

            My dream girl is kinda bit shy because I'm also a shy person. Also she's into basketball so we can relate each other but not necessarily. I like a girl with a beautiful smile and do fun things but also down to just have nights in with lots of cuddling. I also like a girl with great sense of humor, honest and trustworthy. And also let me do my hobbies and doesn't get pissed. A girl who encourages me to become better person everyday. Believes in me and understands that sometimes I'll have crazy ideas and work until I achieve them. But right now there's a girl who is making me smile everyday. I can say that she is not my dream girl that I was trying to describe but she's a one of a kind and she’s my kind of love that I want to. The one thing that I mostly like about her is her attractive smile and she’s funny. I couldn't resist to stare at her. I'm very obsessed to her hahaha.

[mimingkaw-blog]

MESSAGE FROM MYSELF:

Please accept yourself more, LOVE yourself more. Make the right choices know what is good for you, Know that you are not ALONE.

FROM MY FRIENDS:

Hi Shalom. Peace be with you!! Hehe. Uhm. I know we weren't in the the same class when we in the junior high but I find I you as a friend. Keep believing in yourself and focus on the things that you enjoy the most. Make your family proud. Achieve more I know you can do well in your own capabilities. Don't forget to pray to the Lord always.. God bless!! Take care!! -Janil

Hi shalom thank you for being a good friend. I am so glad that I met you. You're always there for everyone. Godbless shalom! - Junaira

Dear Shalom,                                                                                                                         You’re a very friend of mine. All I want to say to you is to to finish you goal, I know you can do it because i know your strength and your personality but there is one thing that i want you to know is to don’t give up on what you have and don’t give up in what you want and thank you being my friend. -Immanuel Blando Sabac

Hi shalompas. I know that you are brave enough to conquers everything. Just dont give up no matter what problems may comes in your life. And always be good kuya to bimby. Godbless  -Jerah Baculio

[fickleminded--heart]

My Mandala

 A Mandala represents wholeness, a cosmic diagram reminding us of our relation to infinity, extending beyond and within our bodies and minds. The mandala appears to us in all aspects of life, the Earth, the Sun, the Moon and more obviously the circles of life encompassing friends, family and communities.

Yin / Yang : Two halves that together complete wholeness. Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. When something is whole, by definition it is unchanging and complete. So when you split something into two halves – yin / yang, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness. This starts both halves chasing after each other as they seek a new balance with each other.

The word Yin comes out to mean “shady side” and Yang “sunny side”.

In my mandala my identity is divided into two different personalities and two different faces. 

My personality is different when it comes to the people that I am already close to and I am comfortable to be with and I also have different personality when it comes to the people whom I am not yet close to like acquaintances. I am silly, funny, crazy, tender, outgoing and very loving when it comes to the people I am close with, I show to them my good side including the other side. On the other hand, I am shy and quiet to the people I am not close with since I don’t want to be judged by others like I am “feeling close” and whatsoever, I also show to them my good side including the other side depending on the situation. Even if the person is close or not to me, I show my good and my shady side depending on how they treat me. 

I have also two different faces that I show to the people and the face that only myself knows. Not everything that is on my mind I tell and show to the people because we all need space and privacy. Maybe I tell others i'm okay and I show to them that I'm always smiling but deep inside I have a lot of burden in my life. I only share to the people whom I can trust and whom I am comfortable with for me to lessen the burden that I am carrying but mostly I keep these burdens to myself and talk to God.

The veins and the flowers represents the people and the aztec and the stars represents my attitude. The details outside the circle represents my relationship towards other people

My different sides contributes to my identity. My different sides helps me to adjust when I interact with others because I know we have different experiences in life, we also have different personalities and different approach in life.