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Amity Park Field Trip:

The consequences of spilled coffee.

Mr Lancer would be considered a hardened war veteran if any member of the government not wearing white stepped foot in Amity Park.

He’d fought off zombies, ghost cops, and sentient meat on more than a few occasions to protect his students.

He’d warned each and every one of his students against misbehaving durin their field trip to Gotham and they all respected him more than enough to listen to his orders.

With Mr Lancers guidance they had made it an entire week in Gotham without any incident despite Poison Ivy taking control of the green house they visited, Scarecrow gassing the art museum mid way through their tour, and even Bane fighting Batman right outside the opera house right as they left for the evening. (Thankfully he had the foresight to put Fentons child leash on to stop him from ‘joining the fun’)

And now, here they were on their last day of their trip on their way across the Gotham University Campus to attend the lecture that brought them to Gotham in the first place.

They’d stopped by a lovely little cafe on campus and Mr Lancer was taking a long drawn out sniff of his coffee, just basking in the aroma for a moment when a high pitched laugh broke the peace and suddenly students were frantically running away from an explosion.

Normal this would be when he organizes his student and they all evacuate back to the hotel. All but one of his students had already put on their gas masks and were ready to mobilize at his command.

All but one that stared off towards the explosions with a demented grin on his face that was officially recognized as an omen of doom in no less than 10 occult journals.

Normally he would scold the teen.

Normally he’d had his coffee.

Instead Mr Lancer looked mournfully down at his spilled nectar and sighed.

Walking through his class he stopped right next to the smiling teen and reached behind him.

Every single one of his students immediately stepped back when the click of the glowing child leash signaled the boys freedom.

He didn’t even glance towards his teacher.

He had a clown to hunt.

A different laugh was heard throughout the campus that day, one that would haunt the dreams of any that had been unfortunate enough to be there the day the Joker made Mr Lancer spill his coffee.

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"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

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Teen Titans level power Danny Phantom is a hero with a pretty average level of superhero trauma and a decent rogues gallery. The one thing about him that’s wildly different isn’t even about his powers. Hell, The ghost teen might not even know about it.

Raven was the first to notice the Half-Ghost’s wards. The magic so strong that she felt wary to approach him even though the wards are written to not harm friends or civilians. The unsuspecting Midwest hero was protected by time itself.

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“I’m right here Val.”

“No you’re not…”

In a universe where Valerie finds out about Danny being half ghost but ends up mourning him instead. Finding out your ex boyfriend/friend died can’t be easy. Worst of all, you didn’t even notice.

Don’t worry, she recovers after she talks to Sam, Tuck, and Jazz.

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The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.

It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.

Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:

“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”

And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.

It’s become a system.

It went like:

Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”

Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”

Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”

Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”

Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.

Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.

Tim: “It’s Jason.”

Jason: “DAMN IT.

Rules:

If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.

If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.

If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.

It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”

Top scores:

Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)

Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)

Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)

Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)

Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)

One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.

He cried.

Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.

Game cancelled due to lack of data.

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see more on webtoon at Queer Comics

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i just know Jason must have been having Ra’s STRESSED in the league. his daughter dips a Wayne kid in the Lazarus pit and then trains him to the point where he becomes worthy of the fucking all-blades, and then he just is??? chilling in Nanda Parbat for a while??? wandering Ra’s base and loudly planning his scheme to manipulate his adoptive father into killing some circus clown???? there’s no way that Jason didn’t have Ra’s blood pressure through the roof. in british terms, Ra’s was Prince Philip and Jason had a bottle of sprite.

Ra’s: what do you WANT, Jason?

Jason, having just burst into Ra’s chambers holding a plate of toast: THERE you are, finally. i just needed to be in your presence to do this

Jason: *summons the all-blades*

Ra’s: WH-

Jason: cool it; not gonna stab you. just needed pure evil around so i can butter my toast.

Ra’s:

Ra’s, subtly cancelling the four bodyguards he’d just summoned: …mhm.

Jason, mouth full: anyway, you’re old,

Ra’s: …

Jason: been around a while, huh? what’s the most annoying torture you’ve ever seen or experienced?

Jason: because there’s that new Robin i need to make regret taking my place, and i’m trying to be creative about it. so? most annoying torture?

Ra’s: i have a feeling your intrusion on his life will do just fine.

Jason: aw, so supportive. thanks evil-grandpa.

Ra’s: get out of my room.

Jason: gEt OuT oF My RoOm- hey do we have any spare dynamite? i wanna put a bomb on my helmet

Ra’s: *groaning loudly*

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u can’t tell me that this doesn’t have edward elric written all over it

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENSEI

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I really like the whole “other members of the Batfam can mimic the Robin, report! to a degree where they actually respond as if it’s Batman,” but I raise you:

What if other Gothamites learned to do the same thing?

The first time it happens, Jim is panicking. He’s got an injured bird on his hands and no idea where Batman is. The kid isn’t responding no matter who asks questions, and suddenly the GCPD is treated to Commissioner Gordon doing a scarily good Batman impression, to the point Robin immediately responds

Word doesn’t necessarily get out right away. It happened in the precinct building, so the only witnesses were cops. But the rumors start in bars with drunk men telling anecdotes, with officers coming home with stories, and it spreads from there.

Eventually, people know that if you channel Batman and go “Robin, report!” the bird will go from gasping desperately in pain to a robotic list of injuries. EMTs learn to do this as part of their training. The Bats don’t go to hospitals, but they will let someone do emergency first aid on them.

Interestingly, it doesn’t just work on Robin. Gotham knows, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks, that their little birds grow up to become other Bats. It’s why their rivalry with Blüdhaven over Nightwing is so vicious. That’s their little bird the city is claiming. Blüdhaven did not raise him, Gotham did.

Of course, not all of the Bats were Robin. Signal flipped someone off for trying the trick, and Black Bat pulled out a sharpie and drew a sad face on a civilian’s hand when they were trying to see how injured she was after falling several stories due to a snapped grapple line. So, the trick isn’t universal.

The most surprising one was when someone found Red Hood, half-buried in rubble with a slash across his neck, and barked out the order in a panic and he immediately complied.

It wasn’t Batman who told the city he was their dead little bird. It was the panic of a passerby just trying to do the right thing.

After all, Gotham may not acknowledge it, but all of them love their birds. They are protectors, and not just from the rogues. They help with the murders, yes, but they also do small stuff. Stop muggings. Talk people down. Slip résumés into the right hands, guide people to the right clinics.

And just how the Bats protect and help the people of Gotham, Her citizens help and protect them.

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Chilling after sermon 🚬

Ref under the cut