seungni-m

[seungni-m]

i don't love you, anymore [hwang hyunjin ff]

"Y/n and Hyunjin were close- some would say too close. Everyone knew that. Despite what others say they both adamantly refute allegations against their 'platonic' friendship. With this declaration firmly set in place, there was little room for change- or hypocrisy would ensue. Lets hope a change in situation doesn't cause their resolve to shake…"

[seungni-m]

can i stay inside your head? kim seungmin ff

this story is fictional and is not supposed to depict anyone mentioned in a bad way.  please do not copy or republish this book. thank you. This will also be a male Y/n.

themes of this chapter; onesided crush, angst, rejection, selfhate

two; Perfection

<-previous chapter next chapter(coming soon!)->

He is perfect, he has to be.

What do you think of when you think of Hwang Hyunjin? You could think about a lot of things- only good things. How 'attractive' he is, how 'athletic', how 'charismatic'. But despite all of this he feels empty. All these things felt useless even though 'he had it all'.

He has everything you could possibly want. However your rejection still left a slight scar on his confidence. What more should he have been to gain your favor. If  he was so 'great', so 'perfect', why did it hurt so much? If  he was so 'amazing' you wouldn't have rejected him- he thought. He resented others for it. For idolizing him. Because then he couldn't be anything less or more than that. He wanted someone to see his imperfections, that's what he craved. Maybe it would have made him more human. More appealing to you.

He is perfect- he made sure of it. Well, his mother did. She would have his head otherwise, or rather him transferred abroad. 

He wanted to be selfish. To steal you away. To whisk you away from this world to keep for himself. Away from Kim Seungmin. But that would be greedy. Greed leads to callousness, arrogance, the worst version of a person; after all it's one of the seven deadly sins. So Hyunjin kept away these desires. Left them hidden. For greed could only rot you. And to be the best person he could, to be an idol. You must not crave or have selfish desires. He should be perfect- shouldn't he?

But he hoped for a slight chance, his one measly chance of hope that you might reciprocate his feelings. So he confessed, and was respectfully pushed away.

He walked to class with solemn steps and reddened, puffed eyes. It was embarrassing to him. The pink and red hues that bloomed on his face flaunted his humiliation to the empty halls of the school. 

He felt awful. He didn't feel perfect. But with a swift action he wiped his blurred eyes and combed through his hair with his fingers. And put on his charming smile.

He was perfect, he had to be.

<-previous chapter next chapter(coming soon!)->

[seungni-m]

can i stay inside your head? kim seungmin ff

this story is fictional and is not supposed to depict anyone mentioned in a bad way.  please do not copy or republish this book. thank you. This will also be a male Y/n.

themes of this chapter; onesided crush, angst, rejection

next chapter->

ONE; apologies

Y/n solemnly stepped across the rocky, grainy pavement. The sun beat down against his skin and harshly on his hair. He was walking to school just like any other day with his thin shirt tucked in cleanly into his trousers and a blazer slacked on his slumped shoulders despite the heat; all in attempt to fit the dress code. Soon, he approached the relic-like school that barely stood, limberly looking down upon its students and occupants. Promptly, he strode his way inside- swiftly trying to pace towards his classroom before someone gets to him... As he trudged through the empty halls, a hand grabbed his collar harshly choking Y/n slightly; he let out a small yelp, that got muffled, as a gruff hand covered his mouth. While scrambling in the persons hold he realizes it was useless and let himself be dragged away.

After a few seconds Y/n was stumbling and led into the school bathrooms. He looked up to see Hyunjin; his bully? The thought came out more of a question than a statement. Y/n didn't know what to think of him. He was usually charismatic and nice but always indifferent towards him. He sometimes caught Hyunjin's stare penetrating his soul and the way he was stone-walled when first meeting him. He looked at Y/n intently while chewing his lip that looked to be chapped due to the persistent biting. Y/n sat there with pursed lips waiting for any words to spill out of him. A red hue started to creep onto his face and his brows furrowed as silence was still prominent in the atmosphere. He decided to question him,"Hyunji—"

"Y/n, I l-like you!" he abruptly stated with a stutter. With expecting eyes he gazed at you. Care and admiration filled his pupils. They remained silent. The silence was deafening as only the low, shallow breaths of the flustered boy could be heard. Y/n let out a strained sigh and looked at him with sympathy. Hyunjin was always so confident yet now he showed a vulnerable and fragile state that was never given light till now. He noticed and braced himself with squeezed eyes.

"I'm sorry, Hyunjin," Y/n muttered quietly. The poor boy felt tears brink his eyes as he heard the words. "I'm already dating Seungmin. I thought you knew?" Y/n uttered with words laced with guilt. Hyunjin did know this, he just wanted some closure. He wanted Y/n to be harsh and rude, at least then he could get over them. But he was met with eyes of worry: not the cold ones that he desperately needed. The heart broken boy knew this would happen. But the little unrealistic hope that yearned for Y/n bubbled into a glimmer of light that fizzled just as soon as it became.

"I understand." With a deflated spirit he bowed slightly and tried to leave quietly through the door. Suddenly, Y/n's hand grasped the back of his bag.

"We could still be friend, you know?" Y/n whispered hesitantly. Hyunjin's heart fluttered as he swung aroung to face them. He appreciated it.

"Yeah, I would like that!" he exclaimed with faint happiness. Y/n noticed how he was suppressing his feelings but attempted to ignore it. It was an awkward journey that ended with a strained goodbye.

They both walked back to class. A longing ache lingering in one of the two's hearts.

next chapter->

[seungni-m]

hai wondering how many people would be interested in an office au bangchan fic? ^^