shedsugar - Tumblr blog

[shedsugar]

Let the smoke sting your eyes Let his hands bruise your body Let the devil drag his claws down your back Leave the cut uncovered Watch the ebb and flow of your heartbeat given form Your ruby red insides rejoice: You are real. You are real. You are real.

JM 2016

[shedsugar]

A Mystery Gift - ILOVEDOODLE Art Print - WE AND THE COLOR

[shedsugar]

One morning she woke wiped the sleep from her eyes and yawned so wide she swallowed the sky the moon and stars your mother and mine the Cosmos brewing in her belly and in the depths You and You & I and I thus We hung suspended in the mess clinging tight to a tender heart

JM 2016

[shedsugar]

[shedsugar]

You run your fingers down my back, translating my skin from brail. As you read it aloud, the words “I love you”tumble from my mouth. I catch them in my hand, let them drip from my fingertips and onto your chest. When you offer them back to me, I hear the sound of my seams splitting,  A satisfying rip A sigh of relief I’m released from the effort of holding my pieces together. I pick one up and tuck it in a pocket for you to find on your south bound flight:  A question mark to hang from my name, a drop of honey left on your tongue.

JM 2016

[shedsugar]

[shedsugar]

As I pluck books I left on a shelf in the living room that used to be mine, my heart takes off running without me I rush to find the bathroom floor that cradled me through the summer Everything is different and the floors are dirty but the pulse of my temple against the tile is familiar enough the angle of the mirror the same I photograph my reflection so I might examine it later, measuring months bythe curve of my cheek the curl of my hair the soft green shapes of the south on my hips Gravity shifts beneath me shaking a plum from my branches sweet flesh bruised blue at the stone my lips left on a tissue in the waste basket I close the door behind me count my steps on the pavement the rhythm reminding my heart to beat my lungs to fill and empty with ruinous love for the city I left behind

Beverley Rd 4:05am JM

[shedsugar]

Jane curls her fingers through his hair and makes a fist. A sharp intake of breath, then a low rumble as if he were hungry and she were soft, sweet, delicious. God, isn’t she just? He rolls her onto her back as she wraps her legs around him and tightens. She rests her forehead in the curve of his neck, fills her mouth with his flesh, and bites; only once, just hard enough for him to know she means it. She says she comes from the cosmos and she’ll take him if he’d like, for a price. “I want your sweat, your drool, your cum” she tells him, pinning his hands above his head. “I want you to tell me what you want to do to me so I can tell you that you can’t.” “I want to sink my teeth into you like the meat of a nectarine and let you drip from my chin.” and she will, she will, she will.

Jane and the Nectarine, JM 2016

[shedsugar]

Naomi Okubo

[shedsugar]

I stumble upon your handwriting on the first page of a book  I haven't read since the summer  we spent on the grass memorizing the arc and  stretch of each sprinkler Legs tangled like the ivy scaling our walls, we chew on the word  love until it loses flavor I read the words you wrote about me before you'd dug your hands through  my refuse strewn insides before you wrapped me in the folds of your life and think how different your account  of me must be now No one seems to know what to call us They stare, spinning their own truths: Lovers Sisters Same I don't know what to call you but I know you rise in my heart  like a mountain your roots reaching down into my stomach the bedrock I never knew was there I know you see yourself in me some alternate form bounced  off a funhouse mirror all the parts that hurt the abuse and the want and the fear the unhappiness that comes crushing down heavy heel on an anthill to cave us in You hate when people  hold us up to the light, two faces on a silver coin, and call us same missing the subtle difference in hue a piece chipped from one of our cheeks On the days you won't look at me I regret implanting myself in your life This place, our work, our home and here I am sadder and stranger and straighter  than you recall asking you over and over to affirm that You are, I am, We are OK I lie here fearing you wake up and wish I was back in New York that I wasn't here to count you breaths or the color of your hair  On the days you won't talk to me I hear every hateful thing I've even  thought of myself in your silence my crumbling self worth my constant need for reassurance my narcissism and glut but some days we break the surface watching each other's heads bob above the waves and smile Some days we sing songs to the wind screaming a frantic off pitch ode  to Virginia: the root of it all.

JM 2016

[shedsugar]

 by bloodykirka.

[shedsugar]

For the first time in three years I am awake inside my own head The landscape ripe and red  as my pussy I hold you inside of me with urgency pressing your want  against the walls of my being Stretching digging for: What's lost What's left The Wreckage Wet by rain  and runoff from the James sprouts to life beneath spring sun

The Wreckage, JM 2016

[shedsugar]

Experimental photography and illustration work

Photo by Adolfo Félix on Behance

[shedsugar]

[shedsugar]

Paper Bird Six brown napkins sit crumpled in my bag A last vestige of the last meal we shared I take them out every morning determined to throw them away But I can’t So I smooth them out Stack them up Fold one into a limp paper crane And rest it on my dresser I stare my flaccid creation in the eye And meditate on the cost of the words I wield in self-preservation Only to find myself afterward A sad and crumpled paper bird Waiting to be thrown away

JM 2015

[shedsugar]

Jasmine Deporta- Sofa Safari 

[shedsugar]

In which I explain my queerness to my mother: I. 'You know I hate that word' I know she does. Picture: early 60s suburbia neighborhood kids bounce rocks off her brother QUEERQUEERQUEER The poison fills her mouth But she can’t spit it out Just shuffles Patton leather shoes head hanging in shame II. 'So you think you like girls now?' She lays the phrase down gently only the corner of her mouth betraying her cool her word choice says everything: THINK Says my thoughts are not truth NOW Says this isn't forever III. 'I was hoping for little Jillians' Science is an amazing thing I am more likely to give you grandchildren Than my straight married sister you promise to love my children anyway IV. 'But you always liked boys' Based on preschool boyfriends and Disney dreams But she forgets Finding us beneath a pile of blankets 'Just playing explorers' She forgets The locked bedroom door 'Just playing house' 'Just playing doctor' JUSTPLAYINGJUSTPLAYINGJUSTPLAYING V.  'Now that you play for the other team...' Because bisexuality couldn't exist Because queer is only a stone for throwing I have to wear your absolutes VI. 'Have you decided one way or the other yet?' Three years and two sexual assaults later I've stopped dating men entirely Occasionally, I will close my eyes, bend over and fuck one to prove I still can That if I chose to I could close my eyes, marry one and live the life you wanted You clutch these pearls to your chest like it will make them real VII. 'I’m sorry' I wake to find her on the edge of my bed Dawn filtering through the blinds Still stung by a fight we had the night before I keep my eyes shut tight And hear her whisper the words she can never manage When I’m looking her in the eye VIII.  'Well, do queer people understand the straight experience?' The last in a series of questions she asks When I tell her about my queer poetry class I say I write queer poems and I want queer people to read them To find community in their understanding In our shared experience I sigh Everyone understands the story we've been fed from birth Let me explain heteronormativity again IX. 'She seems good for you' She swallows hard before saying this As if accepting my black, bow tied lady friend Makes her neither racist nor homophobic X. 'I’m ashamed of how I reacted.' Sitting on the edge of my bed  She wakes me this time A soft hand on my forehead Her therapist says this hate will drown her ASHAMEDASHAMEDASHAMED The poison fills my mouth But I can’t spit it out So instead I take her hand And kick hard for the surface

JM 2015