short-stories-written-warmly

[short-stories-written-warmly]

How It Feels

“Come on Gina, this is ridiculous!” said a young man as he knocked on the door to room 301, slightly raising his voice.

“You’re the one that’s being ridiculous!” replied a feminine voice coming from the other side of the door.

“How is asking you to come out of your apartment ridiculous?”

“It’s ridiculous because you don’t have any authority to do so!”

“I’m doing this to help you!”

“Why don’t you help me by going away?!”

“You haven’t been to classes for three whole months! I’m not leaving until you open this door!”

“Fine then!”

Suddenly the door swung open, nearly hitting the man before he jumped back to avoid it. Out came a girl with short scraggly black hair and dark eyes to match. She wore a purple tracksuit that covered her whole body, and had an expression of extreme annoyance on her face.

She glared at the startled young man who was pressed against the wall of the corridor. He regained his composure, dusted off his shirt and coat, and straightened his auburn hair. He fixed his green eyes at the girl with a firm expression on his face.

“What do you want, Luca?” she growled at him.

“I want you to come to class obviously. It’s been a three months since you last showed up in campus.”

“Well then if you’ll excuse me. “ She said as she started to pull the door back to close it.

Luca quickly grabbed the door knob and pulled back, holding it in place.

“Please, Gina. This has to stop.”

“Agh, just let go and leave me alone you jerk!”

“I’ve known you since middle school, I’m not going to let you ruin yourself like this!”

“Oh just do whatever you want then!” she huffed as she let go of the doorknob, stamping off back into the room.

Luca then entered room 301. It was one of the rooms of the new apartment, so it still looked quite well. The wooden flooring was still glimmering, and the sofa was still colored bright red. The coffee table did not have any noticeable stains on it, and dust hadn’t even settled on top of the TV and various other furniture.

He went through the living room and into Gina’s bedroom. The contents of her room was a far cry from the immaculate living room. Clothes covered the floor, her bed has somehow lost its blanket and her desk was chaotically decorated with snacks, cup noodles and crumpled up papers. He could barely make out her PC’s lit monitor among all the garbage. He looked around the room, sometimes shaking his head.

“Why are you scanning my room? That’s private you know.”

Gina came up from behind him. She was now wearing a red hoodie, a pair of jeans, and white sneakers. She was at the least, prepared to go out.

“I was just wondering where you went. Did you get changed in the bathroom?”

“I did. I can’t change in there with you around obviously.”

“Good point. So, ready to go to class now?”

“Ugh. I’m going to regret having you talk me into this. Can’t you just let me stay home?”

“Not when you’re properly ruining yourself. What’s with all the junk food in there? And why don’t you clean up after yourself?”

“You’re such a mom. Can’t I just be myself in my own room?”

“Well I can’t let you be yourself if that means…”

“If that means…?”

Luca grabs Gina’s left hand and rolls up her hoodie’s sleeve, revealing several red marks near her wrist.

“If that means you keep doing this to yourself.”

“…”

“Look, I know it was a rough breakup, but you’ve got to pull yourself together.”

“How would you know how I feel? You’ve never been in love with someone and find out that they don’t love you back!”

“I know it was tough finding out that he was seeing someone else but-“

“BUT NOTHING! SHUT UP! YOU DON’T KNOW HALF OF IT!”

Gina tensed up. She glared furiously at Luca, huffing all the while. Her hands were shaking, as if she was trying to hold herself back from slapping him.

“…”

Luca was looking down, his body was tense as well. He was preparing himself for a slap that never came.

“…”

Gina took several long breaths and let out a long sigh.

“Let’s…let’s just drop this topic alright? I don’t feel like talking about it and I don’t feel like getting angry either. Look, I’ll go with you to class today alright?” As she said that, Gina started to walk towards the door.

Luca looked up and looked at with a firm expression on his face.

“Will you promise me not to hurt yourself again?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to hold on to that promise.”

“Will you promise me to at least try?”

“I guess I can do that for you.”

“Swear it.”

“What?”

“Swear it. Just like we used to do back then.”

“This isn’t middle school Luca. I’m not going to do the silly swearing thing again.”

“Swear it. Please Gina. For me.”

Luca stared her in the eyes to show his resolution. He wanted this done no matter what. Buckling under the pressure, Gina let out another sigh before acquiescing.

“Alright fine. I, Gina Caldwell, do swear on my name, to try not hurting myself anymore.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“You just can’t let go of the past can you Dawson?”

“Now you’re just being hypocritical Caldwell.”

“Fair enough. Come on then, let’s get this class over and done with.”

They both went out of the apartment and got on the bus headed for the campus. They took a seat near the back of the bus.

“This is the last time you’re dragging me to class Luca.”

“Oh? You’re going to go to class yourself next time?”

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“You always say that, but I’ll be dragging you off again in a month or two.”

“Eh, by that point I’ll be held back for a semester. You won’t be able to pester me as easily.”

“Then I’ll just pester you harder now. You can’t keep going like this you know. I mean, what would your parents think?”

“They can think whatever. I don’t really care.”

“That’s not something you should say.”

“So sue me.”

“Gina-“

“I’m just tired of it all Luca.” She said as she leaned back on the seat, slowly drooping down from it.

“I’m tired of going to campus. I’m tired of talking to other people. I’m tired of cleaning up after myself. I’m tired of various things right now.”

“For someone who’s tired of talking, you sure are talkative though.”

“Heh, good catch. Seriously though, you don’t know what it feels like. I tried my damnedest to be the girl that he’ll love. I exercised, I consulted fashion magazines, I even started taking lessons to better my posture and how I walk. I felt so happy when I finally caught his attention and we started dating. But then, in just two months, I found out he was cheating on me, and he dumped me for the other girl.”

“Yeah, I remember you calling me about it while crying your lungs out.”

“Yeah. After that I just got tired of everything. I mean, I tried so hard, and look at what it got me. I got tired of trying. I just…stopped feeling like I should get up from the bed, or leave my room. That’s how it all started.”

“It’s been a year, Gina.”

“I know. It’s a long time. But I’m still tired Luca. You know what I’m most tired of?”

“What?”

“I’m tired of living. I have no purpose right now. No goal to strive towards. Nothing to go out for, but also nothing to come home to. Why should I continue living this empty life?”

“Is that why you’ve been…”

“Pretty much yeah. I can’t muster the will to actually kill myself or anything. I’m too tired to even do that if you’ll believe me, heh.” She said in a tone meant to insult someone, but pointed at herself.

“But then why would you…”

“It makes me feel alive you know. I can’t really describe how it feels, but seeing the blood come out. Well, it feels like an affirmation that I’m still alive you know? I was bleeding. I was living. I wasn’t dead yet. It gave me a feeling of…confidence? It’s hard to describe, but it felt reassuring to know that I was still alive despite everything. It gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe, if I stay alive long enough, I’ll get out of this rut and everything will go back to normal, you know?”

“And this all happened just because…”

“Just because I loved someone and it turned out that person didn’t love me back. You might think that’s a petty reason, but that’s only because you don’t know how it feels Luca.”

Luca averted his gaze from Gina and mumbled something in a soft voice.

“What was that? Did you say something?”

“I said we’re here Gina. We’ve arrived at the campus.”

“Oh. Well this blows. Time to get this over with then.”

They got off the bus and walked towards the main building. They greeted various other students in the corridor, most of them were expressing their surprise at Gina’s return. A young man with slick brown hair approached the two of them and greeted them.

“Hey Luca. How’s it going?”

“The usual.”

“Heh, looks like it. Hey Gina, I thought the authorities declared you legally dead?”

“Oh shut up Mark.”

“I’m joking haha. It’s nice to see you back on campus. How long till you lock yourself up again though?”

“You’re incorrigible, and I’ll probably stay home again starting next week. I’m telling you in advance, because next time, Luca is not going to drag me back to this place.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that’ll be the case. Just as was the case three months ago.”

“Mark my words…Mark.” Gina snorted at her own joke, while Mark continued to roll his eyes.

“Anyway, if I remember correctly, my class is at the end of the hall there. I’ll see you two later.”

“See you around Gina.” Mark replied.

Gina turned around walked towards the end of the hall by her lonesome. She stopped for a bit and looked back at Luca.

“You better not go home without me Dawson.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it Caldwell.”

She gave him a sheepish smile before walking off back towards her class.

“She’s a handful huh Luca?”

“Yeah, she is.” Luca said as he walked towards a garbage bin.

“What are you throwing there?” Mark asked as he tried to peek at Luca’s hand.

“Razors. As usual.”

“You raided her room again?”

“Yeah. It won’t stop her, but at least she’ll have to delay hurting herself for a bit.”

“Why do you keep doing this for her? She doesn’t really appreciate it you know. Frankly, I would’ve let her be if I were in your shoes.”

“I’ve known her since middle school, Mark. She used to be the most cheerful girl I know, she had this smile that would just brighten up your day and she was sweet on everyone. She was a hard worker too and always gave her all for everything. I want the old cheerful and friendly Gina to be back.”

“Well I know you want her to straighten up and all, but she’s not really trying herself you know? It’s kind of futile. You don’t have to try so hard, you know?”

“I do have to try, Mark. I have to try my hardest. Because…” Luca stumbled at his own words, allowing Mark to interject.

“Because?”

“Because…I just want her to like me.”

Mark shook his head to show disapproval, but he did not voice it, instead he just asked Luca.

“Why?”

“Because she keeps saying that I don’t know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t love me back. Well I just want her to know that I do know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels.”

Luca started to throw away the remaining razors one by one, each in conjunction with every sentence that he finished.

“I know exactly how it feels to love someone who doesn’t love me back.”

*clink*

“I know exactly how it feels to love someone who loved someone else.”

*clink*

“I know exactly how it feels to love someone who broke in front of me.”

*clink*

“I know exactly how it feels to love someone who decided to give up on life.”

*clink*

“I know exactly how it feels to love someone who needed my help to get back on their feet.”

*clink*

“And I know exactly how it feels to love someone…who doesn’t love me back.”

*clink*

As the last razor was disposed of, Luca turned around to look at Mark. He had a wry smile on his face, as if he was mocking himself. His voice was low, almost like a whisper, as he said:

“I want her to know, that I’ve always liked her, but she’s never liked me back, and I just want her to like me.”

I used Writing prompt #817 from @writers-are-writers for the bit near the end here. I appreciate them for posting it.

[short-stories-written-warmly]

Definitely gonna use this for the next one. Thanks a bunch!

Prompt #817

“You don’t have to try so hard, you know.”

“I just want them to like me.”

“Why?”

[short-stories-written-warmly]

Remembrance

This story started in a certain room in a, certain house, in a city called Irolesh. A man was reclining on a sofa. His face showed a troubled expression, the lines on his forehead formed a crease as he furrowed his brows and pinched his forehead. These features, along with his graying dark brown hair, painted his age on him.

“Look, I’m telling you that this doesn’t make sense.” The man said.

A haze appeared in the room, enveloping the table in front of the sofa. Bits of it waxed and waned around, moving like waves before it formed a vaguely humanoid shape. Then, it started to talk.

“Oh but it does make sense, you talking to me is all it takes for this to make sense.” Said the humanoid haze.

“No it doesn’t. This is a prank isn’t it? There’s a speaker and some sort of smoke generator hidden in my house isn’t there? Is this your doing Jacobs?”

“Please, do take off your tinfoil hat. Paranoia is unbecoming of a detective.”

“I think it’s more unbecoming to believe that I’m talking to a ghost.”

“And yet here you are, conversing with one.”

“Alright, I’ll level with you. Say that I’m actually talking to a ghost right now, and I’m not just drunk as all hell. How can you prove it?”

“Oh but the fact that we are conversing is more than enough is it not?”

“For all I can tell, this might just be a delusion that I’m talking to, and if that’s the case, I should really stop drinking tequila.”

“Hmm…fair point. So how do you want me to prove this to you?”

“Uhh…do ghost things.”

“Ghost…things?”

“Yeah, ghost things. Like, make one of the plates in my kitchen fly off the shelf or something.”

“How very quaint of you. Very well, I will give it a try.”

The haze dissipated, clearing the room. In a short few moments, the sound of a shattering plate can be heard from the kitchen. Shocked, the man got up from the sofa and rushed to the kitchen. There, he saw several plates floating in the air, and another one shattered on the floor. The haze was there, again in a vaguely humanoid shape, holding up the plates with its haze like appendages.

“There’s your proof my good man.” Said the haze as it put the plates back on the shelf.

“Well, I’ll be.”

“I suppose that’s enough proof for you then-where are you going?”

The hazy figure turned its head towards the man, catching him near the front door. The man stopped dead in his tracks, his hand was clutching the doorknob. He turned his head to look at the haze with a calm look on his face.

“To get the priest to exorcise you obviously.”

“Now that is just rude of you. After asking me to provide proof as well.”

“Well I’m not going to suffer a life with a ghost in my own home. So I’m going to have you exorcised.”

“Then you can be off on your merry way to the church.”

“I’m glad you understand-“

“But who knows what might happen to this house while you are away. Why, a gas valve could just leak and the whole place would catch on fire.”

“You’re joking-“

“Or maybe the phone would mysteriously leave voice messages for your ex-wife, pleading for her to return because you miss her and your kids so much.”

Drooping his shoulders, the man accepted his defeat and let go of the doorknob with a heavy sigh. He walked closer to the haze to have a proper conversation with it.

“Alright. Fine. I won’t have you exorcised.”

“Good choice. I want to move on from this world, but I don’t want to have it be forced upon me.”

“Guess I’ll be living with a-wait you want to move on?”

“Of course. It is the desire of any curious spirit to move on peacefully is it not?”

“I’m not a ghost yet so I wouldn’t know.”

“You’ll know in a few years.”

“What?”

“What.”

“Never mind. So if you want to move on, why aren’t you…you know, moving on?”

“I would very much like to, but as it is, a spirit needs to be at peace with itself to move on. My past regrets have made it quite hard for me to be at peace.”

“So if you can get rid of those regrets, then you’ll be able to move on?”

“Yes. That’s how it works.”

“So…go get rid of those regrets?”

“For a detective you are quite the simple man are you not? Sadly, I am not able to do so, as the…nature of what it is that I regret is quite unique.”

“Hmm…alright then. I’ll cut you a deal. I’ll help you deal with your regrets so you can move on. Then I can live peacefully again, and you can relax in whatever place that ghosts go to relax.”

“You would help me? That is very generous of you. Then, I accept.”

“Alright, we’re now partners in crime. So what is it that you regret so much?”

“I suppose I can tell you now. My regret…is not being famous enough.”

“What.”

“Yes it is true. I fear that I am simply not well known enough among society, and it deeply hurts me. If I am to let go of this regret, then I must simply become more famous. I will not be satisfied before I know there are people out there who will never forget me.”

“I…how do I even go about that?”

“And now you see why it is so hard for me to move on.”

“Can’t you just go haunt some people and become famous like that?”

“I’m sorry to say, but ghosts can only interact with the homes that they are bound to, along with its residents of course. Hence why you are able to converse with me.”

“Well now that’s just not fair, how am I supposed to solve this then?”

“Perchance you could try to find the people that I used to know and ask them about myself?”

“Oh right, you used to be alive.”

“That’s quite rude of you. In any case, I am-was a man named Charles Watson. Maybe you will be able to find my acquaintances.”

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do. Oh, and my name is Jack Denver. Here’s to a fruitful partnership Charles.” Said Jack as he extended a hand to the hazy figure of Charles.

“Same to you Mr. Denver, same to you.” Said Charles as he shook Jack’s hand with his own hazy hand.

They set out to work, searching for Charles’ old acquaintances. As a detective, it was fairly easy for Jack to obtain the records to a certain Charles Watson, former denizen of his house. He was able to use it to track down several of Charles’ colleagues, university friends, and old neighbors, and after several exhausting weeks he had met them all. Unfortunately for him, all of them had similar things to say about Charles.

“’He was an okay guy, didn’t stand out much.’ Is what they all said!” Jack said while throwing down several written documents onto his kitchen table.

“Oh dear, I fear it is true then.”

“You sir, are a completely average man, who socialized on a decent basis with others but did not leave a big enough impression on them. You were also a typical accountant working at just one of the many firms downtown, and not only that, you also passed away completely normally due to an allergic reaction to peanut butter!”

“…” Charles’ hazy figure looked down while clenching his fists.

“Not one of your acquaintances have a fond memory of you, or even a bad one. You’re rather forgettable to them. I mean seriously, you wanted to be famous and well known? Were you even trying?”

“…”

“If you had tried harder then maybe this wouldn’t be so hard. I mean, where do you even get off regretting not being famous when you weren’t even trying? Now I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life too.”

“YOU THINK I DIDN’T TRY?!” Charles shouted. The haze forming his face condensed, manifesting a vivid face of a youthful man with blonde hair and light brown eyes, with an expression that seemed to scream out all of his resentments.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE OLD MAN! I WANTED TO BECOME A FAMOUS ARTIST! TO HAVE MY NAME HANGED BELOW MY DRAWINGS AS THEY DECORATED WALLS AROUND THE WORLD! EVERYONE PRAISED MY DRAWINGS WHEN I WAS LITTLE! I FELT GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, I WAS CONFIDENT! BUT THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?”

“What-“

“NOTHING HAPPENED! I FOUND OUT I WASN’T A TALENTED ARTIST OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WHEN I GOT TO UNIVERSITY, EVERYONE AROUND ME DREW BETTER THAN I DID! THEY HAD TALENT! I WASN’T SOME GENIUS! I WAS THE BEST OF THE WORST! THE LESSER OF SEVERAL OTHER EVILS! I ONLY LOOKED GREAT IN COMPARISON, NOT TRULY GREAT! I HAD NO TALENT!”

“…”

“SEEING EVERYONE ELSE DRAWING SO GREATLY, I LOST CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF! THE TEACHERS WOULD JUST CALL ME AVERAGE AT BEST! MY CLASSMATES WOULD LOOK AT ME WITH DISDAIN! MY DRAWINGS DIDN’T MAKE THE TEACHERS HAPPY! THEY DIDN’T MAKE MY CLASSMATES HAPPY! THEY DIDN’T MAKE ME HAPPY! THEY DIDN’T MAKE ANYONE HAPPY! I DROPPED OUT OF THE ART PROGRAM AND WENT INTO ACCOUNTING! DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE TO DO THAT MR. DENVER? IT BROKE MY HEART INTO THOUSANDS OF TINY PIECES. MY PARENTS PROBABLY HATED ME FOR IT! THEN I WAS STUCK WITH A DEAD END ACCOUNTANT JOB. IT’S A JOKE. MY WHOLE LIFE WAS A JOKE. I EVEN DIED AS A JOKE.”

“…”

Charles’ voice began to wind down and soften.

“It’s all a joke…my whole life was a joke. I lost the spring in my step when I dropped out, and nothing else seemed to matter. I was...I wasn’t living after that. I was surviving. Deep down, I still wanted to be a famous artist, but I knew it was too late, and I knew it was impossible. No one cared for my drawings.”

Charles sat down on the floor and hugged his knees, as if closing himself to the world.

“I get it Mr. Denver. It’s impossible for me to move on naturally. I give up. I am not going to burden you anymore, you can just...” Charles choked on the words, as if trying to gulp something.

“You can just call a priest and get it over with.”

Jack let out a sigh and he sat down next to Charles.

“Look, I’m sorry. I guess what I said was uncalled for. You had a rough life, and it beat you down. It’s not easy being out in the world.”

“It was…hard to say the least.”

“It is isn’t it? But let me tell you a little secret. These reports? Well, I still have one last report left for you. I saved it for last because it was different.”

“Different?”

“Let me set it up for you.”

Jack took a laptop out of his bag and set it down on the table. He opened the video player and it showed a paused clip of a drawing hanging on a wall. It was a drawing of an old cartoon character. Charles looked at the screen and his eyes widened.

“That’s…”

“Yep. It’s yours.”

“But how? Who?”

Jack pushed the play button and the video started. An old woman walked into the point of view of the camera. She walked slowly towards the drawing on the wall and gestured towards it.

“Charles drew that for me when he was about to go to university. He said not to worry about him because he was going to become a great artist in the city.”

“Mom…”

“Oh he always had a way with the pencil. This was his favorite character from an old cartoon. Err, what was it called again?”

“It’s Bob & Kerry, dear.” Said an old man as he walked into view.

“Dad…”

“Ah right, that’s the one. I’ve always loved this drawing of his. It’s like he personally made it for us haha. Anyway, Mr. Denver, is it okay if we show you around the house? It’s been such a long time since someone asked about Charlie, and you even had to go through the trouble of contacting us through this Skype program.”

“Thank the lord that son of mine set it up before he’d left. He said he would use it to contact us, but he never really did.”

“Oh I don’t mind ma’am. You can just take the laptop around the house and point the camera wherever.”

The video then showed a tour of the old couple’s house. In each room, there was always one drawing decorating it. All of them had a small plaque below them saying “Charles Watson.”

Then the camera came into a room that looked it had been vacant for a long time. The room was clean and everything inside of it was neatly organized. The walls of the room were covered by various drawings. Some were sketches. Some were paintings. All of them, had the same plaque below.

“Charles Watson.”

“Thank you for the tour Mr. and Mrs. Watson. It’s been a pleasure talking to you.”

“Oh no, thank you Mr. Denver. It’s been such a long time since we had a visitor asking for Charlie. Especially after he…passed on.” The old woman said softly, holding back her grief.

“If anything, you’re helping us to cope, and we sincerely appreciate it. We hope you’ll contact us again.” Said the old man as he shut down the camera, ending the video.

“See Charles? You did fulfill your dream. A lot of your drawings were on walls there, and they even had plaques with your name on them too.”

Charles looked down on the table, his hands were holding the table’s edges. His face was a chaotic mixture of emotions. He wanted to cry, and yet he was also happy, but most of all, he was relieved. Relieved, that his parents did not hate him for dropping out and taking another program. Relieved that there was someone who appreciated him. Relieved that there was someone who still thought of him.

“Mr. Denver?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. Thank you for showing me that not everyone’s forgotten about me.”

“Haha, well you can count on me not forgetting you anytime soon.”

“I would appreciate that very much. I…I think I’m ready to move on now.” Charles said, choking a bit.

“Yeah, keep safe, you hear.”

“I will Mr. Denver, thank you for everything. Until we meet again.” He said with a bright smile.

And with that, Charles’ hazy figure slowly dissipated, and in just a few moments, he was gone.

“Heh, you’re welcome.” Said Jack, bemused.

Jack walked out of the kitchen and into his living room. There, he walked towards the phone and dialed a familiar number.

“Well the kid tried his best, I should probably do too.”

The phone beeped for a few moments before a voice familiar to Jack answered.

“Hello? Diane? It’s me, Jack. It’s been a while yeah? Not since we met at court no. You want to get lunch together? You can bring the kids too.”

Can also be found on Wattpad.