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Constantly torn between, "I'm super lonely, so I should text my friend(s)," and "I shouldn't text friend(s) because they're probably busy, and I'd just be bothering them anyway; therefore, when they have free time and want to talk they can message me if they want."

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So how’s it going?

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Literallly, every time i go out of my way to surprise someone by doing something nice for them, i get yelled at because it "fucks up [what they had planned/ wanted/ whatever]" which really messes me up. I like being nice and surprising people with kindness (if they were more appreciative). In my mind, i see them being really glad i did something for them and (possibly) relieved a hassle for them, and making people happy helps make me happy. But it never works like that. Once or twice a year (since i was 5 years old) i try to go out of my way to make someone happy and hope they at least appreciate my efforts. Do they ever? Nope.

For anybody interested in a story from my childhood about the first attempt at what I'm talking about, then here:

So when i was about 5, i noticed my Mom always always struggled with getting all of my siblings and I in the bath and ready for bed and what not when it starts getting dark. Plus, she also had an abusive husband at the time to deal with. So naturally, i decided to help ease the struggle for her and went and started my own bath and got in and started washing myself. Like 5 minutes after i got in Mom comes in and starts yelling at me for that because apparently, we were going somewhere even though it was already dark out. And I'm super non confrontational so i froze. After she left i finished up and got out.

Yay one of my childhood traumas for y'all to know about me.

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Me

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"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn the life around.”

– Leo Buscaglia

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Everybody knows there's bacteria in a person's digestive tract to help breakdown certain foods and what not, but when did they get there? And how?

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How to approach an INFJ, and build a meaningful relationship:

So there’s been a lot of people asking me for relationship advice and tips on how to understand INFJs more, so I came up with a list of some things I think are most important. I hope you find this helpful! So, here goes:

Understand their perfectionism and don’t take it as being boastful or full of pride. 

Explanation: At first INFJs might seem like they’re stuck up but that is far from truth. After some time they will ‘loosen up’ and show how laid back they can get.

As introverts, they need their alone time to recharge. Don’t get it wrong, they probably had a really good time with you - don’t spiral down into self-doubt.

Never forbid an INFJ from doing something they want. 

Explanation: INFJs are very independent people. They may seem dependent, but that’s because their biggest fuel is recognition and acknowledgement. 

Show them you appreciate them, value them and find them needed.

Calmly point out their flaws and misdoings. Communication is key. Trust me - they want to talk about it.

INFJs mirror. If you don’t take care of yourself, they won’t take care of themselves either… Because they’ll be too busy worrying about you.

Be consistent and if you break pattern make sure you let them know why that happened. INFJs are creatures of habit.

“Please”, “Thank you”, “Bless you”, et cetera are the magic words to any INFJs heart.

If an INFJ sounds like they took a higher moral standpoint, let them know.

Don’t guilt-trip an INFJ. They will go into self-destruct mode to make up for it. 

Don’t bite into the bait of loyalty check. Sit down and talk your issues through. Sometimes INFJs will get too paranoid.

Share your plans and thoughts constantly.

INFJs genuinely want to help - there’s no hidden agenda. Let them help you, for the love of god! You have no idea how good that makes them feel.

Keep the balance together. Reciprocity and sharing is key to a happy relationship with an INFJ.

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My friend says that my soulmate is someone who will complete me (opposites attract type thing), and she used her and her husband as an example: she is shy; he's confident. She's anxious; he's calm. She likes to talk, and he's quiet. By her example and knowing the type of person I am, we realized that my soulmate is the type of person I've been actively avoiding since like middle school because I found them intimidating.

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Just an FYI, but I have never read a single parenting book or article. However, I'm like 85% sure you're not supposed to comfort your kid when they cry immediately after you scold/ punish them. I think that's fairly counterproductive to the whole discipline/ conditioning thing parents do when raising kids. What do i know though? I don't have kids nor particularly care how to properly raise them. It's just a peeve i have with how my sister raises hers.

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Me: *listening to sad songs and love songs on YouTube minding my own business*

YouTube Ad: And there's your depression..

Me: well, fuck you too.

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You know you have poor social skills when your mind jumps to the completely irrelevant homophone first.

My sister: can you raise the curtains?

My mind: S-she wants me to raze the curtains??

My common sense showing up late as usual: She said "RAISE," dumbass.

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Me, gesturing vaguely at myself: see this is why i don't have friends

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I have absolutely no problems with cleaning. The problems are when I'm trying to vacuum while fending off toddlers, dogs, and infants (none of which are mine) while doing so or trying to do the dishes and fighting kids to leave the cups alone since they're addicted to chocolate milk. I just like to complete tasks without interruption or interference. Is that really too much to ask?

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When possible always keep your heart at least 2 inches away from everyone else.

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I really don't like to lie except when it is extremely obvious it is a lie like "I have never told a lie throughout my entire life," for example. I find it humorous. Sometimes i feel like Mona-Lisa Saperstien from Parks & Rec when she says "I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my entire life."