sirins-grief

[sirins-grief]

Out. The waves have come.

Out,

Where the stones lay like bones

By the ocean -

Out,

Where the waves crash contempt

On the land -

A you told me about what could be.

We.

But what is,

Is different.

In,

With the grey of disease

Please-

In,

With no place to recede

The waves.

Speak to me. Oh, so sweetly.

Fact is,

Will be,

Always has been -

I'm your whore.

Your puppet.

And nothing you'll say,

You admit,

Can fight back those waves

clinging to my feet,

You caused.

[sirins-grief]

Loyalty is

What keeps you to your friends.

But you never told me

What it is that makes you

Cling

To

Me.

[sirins-grief]

I've got so much in me.

I hate these modern times, because everyone just seems to be stuck by their phones. By simulacras. It's not even real life. It's nothing at all.

And everyone seems so be complaining

How lonely they are. But wouldn't change a thing.

People keep talking about - online - how they feel like dying every day. How everything is just so fucked up.

But won't start a change.

Now, when I'm at the hospital

And watch this one woman.

36 years young. Mother of two beautiful children. A wife.

She's isolated, because of HIV.

And her legs doesn't move anymore.

Her brain gets devoured by tiny parasites, it's called cerebral toxoplasmosis. No chance of recovery.

She can't talk anymore.

And she's fixated.

Because otherwise she'd rip out her feeding tube and her catheter.

Kept alive by force.

And every time I'm inside that room I hear nothing but the silent beeb of the monitors observing her vital signs, and every time she grabs my hand so tightly, as if she's clinging to life with this last bit of force. And her eyes, these eyes, they cry in a thousand tongues.

And I know, this is the real tragedy. Being kept alive. Unable to speak. Unable to move. Having everyone being afraid of her. And I can't even imagine what she's going through. So much pain and so much fear.

So I've started to use my phone less. And I've started to be more positive about life. I want things to be real as long as possible. Because of her. Because of me. Because of modern times.

This is madness.

This is death. No flowers. No beauty.

Start living, everyone. Because one day or another, you won't be able to do that anymore. Meet your friends. Talk in real life. Be real. Live.

For you. For me. For all these unfortunate souls unable.

[sirins-grief]

Being friends with you

"I want that.",

You whispered.

"To say, someday, that this love wasn't my first but definitely be my last."

In silence I smiled,

Shaking. Shivering.

Yet smiling,

Knowing

These words wouldn't ever be mine for you to speak.

Knowing

That for eternity

You wouldn't ever

Mean

Me.

[sirins-grief]

Go on. Underestimate me.

I'm a nurse,

So I fight for the life of strangers

Every day.

I'm hopelessly romantic,

So I'll fight for you

in every lasting second.

I'm depressed,

So I fight myself,

Every night.

Face me

When you think I'm weak

I'm used to the fight

And you won't get me.

[sirins-grief]

I've always searched for my haven. My shelter.

Funny though, this ship never even had an anchor.

So, when the storm came,

It took me with it. Onto the open sea.

Away from you.

[sirins-grief]

I don't want to be a happy person.

I want you.

[sirins-grief]

Little did I know

that this thing we had

would last forever.

(Even though it's just a memory.)

[sirins-grief]

Perspective is a strange thing.

They say that we're strong

When we start to wish them happiness instead of pain.

When we smile instead of pushing them aside. Smile, to contain their peace.

When the whole world starts to fade and everything comes down on us, yet we'll always be there for people we love.

When we know that stopping and drawing a line under everything that hurt us would be rational and great and easy, but we still cling to all these things. Because we hope for better days.

They say we're strong.

But on the other side, do they even know?

What it's like to break down, shiver, shake, cry and yet smile?

What it's like to feel all your anger and frustration fire up the worst in you and yet still wish them the best of luck?

What it's like, to rather vanish instead of forgetting anything about that person?

Do they know?

Is that strong?

To me, it's pathetic.

Yet, I don't want to change anything.

Does that make me pathetic, too?

I guess so.

But I'd rather be pathetic than another cold shell in this world.

[sirins-grief]

“When did you know it was love?”, they asked.

“I knew as soon as I felt more like dying instead of forcing him out of his freedom.”, I replied, heartbroken.

[sirins-grief]

And I've grown afraid of sleep.

Because I knew

I'd only dream of you.

Yet, being awake

insomniac

was even worse.

[sirins-grief]

Sure, it wasn't the first time I got rejected.

And it wouldn't be the last time.

Yet

in this moment

here and now

it felt like a world crumbling down on me.

[sirins-grief]

Modern Romance

2am and I’m sitting here awaiting your reply Just like another modern romance

[sirins-grief]

Welcome to the family, I say. :D 💕 Tags: #skull #skulls #vultureculture #deadthings #deadanimals #odd #oddities #nature #macabre #morbid #occult #warthog #warthogskull #love #welcometothefamily #skullcollector

[sirins-grief]

Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide.

Donald Winnicott (via themindmovement)

[sirins-grief]

Working on faces in a world full of folklore. 💕 It's called Sirin and is a bird of grief in Ukrainian folklore. Just like the normal, mermaid-like Siren, they lure their prey into the woods through haunting songs. They're basically owls but with the face and the breast of beautiful women. As I researched about urban legends, fairytales and similar stuff I found this explanation of Sirin and absolutely fell for the idea and everything. I just had to draw one. :D Tags: #tattoos #tattoo #traditional #traditionaltattoo #newtraditional #art #artist #artistsofig #drawing #artwork #illustration #blackwork #blackart #darkart #sirin #folklore #wings #heart #flower #skull #woman #portrait #occult

[sirins-grief]

Got this cute little gurl from a new found vulture friend where I live. :D Just look at her natural beauty, I think I'm in love. (´∀｀)♡ Tags: #vultureculture #deadthings #vulture #culture #skull #skulls #macabre #morbid #love #nature #natural #boar #boarskull #german #germany