skynniilegend

[skynniilegend]

I feel like my blog is so chaotic but it’s just a reflection of what goes on in my mind guys I love spamming on here

[skynniilegend]

My skin was so clear when I was at my lowest weight💔

Im turning 21 in three months and somehow struggle w acne since I was 12 bruh when is it over

Ana please grant me clear skin again 🙏🏼😭

[skynniilegend]

Some sp0 (dove Cameron edition)

(Fun fact: her pictures trigger me the most for some reason???)

[skynniilegend]

Not my pic! (From 📌terest)

This is basically what the pants look like that I got to wear at my gw. The are a size xs/s so I will literally explode from happiness once I can fit them

[skynniilegend]

I lost 10kg/22lbs in a bit over a month

Is this the honeymoon phase everyone always talks about??

Guys it feels soo good. my clothes fit much loser and I fit into a size small pants 💕

Nevertheless I still have 10kg more to go, but it feels so unbelievably good to have lost this weight. I already feel more confident and more happy.

The reason I started my 90 day challenge was bc I wanted to stay accountable to make sure I’ll definitely be by my gw (55kg/121lbs) on my birthday (mid September)

And it feels so close. I set myself the goal to lose 5kg a month now and I’m so euphoric. Best feeling ever. My collar bones start showing, my arms are more defined.

Im so excited for skinny girl fall💙

SKINNY GIRL WINTER OMFG

Can’t wait for that for some reason

[skynniilegend]

I’ve realized that heavy res in the form of prolonged fasting does not work for me atm. My physical state rn makes fasting so much more difficult than it already is and it triggers my overeating.

So I’ll go back to my old plan that worked great (36hour fasts mostly)

Thats how I initially lost almost 10kg easily and I went into this long fasting period bc I got into that overeat and restrict pattern (not for long, like 1,5weeks) and that’s just not good. Eating every other day works best for me (consuming my bmr on those days).

Take care guys 💕

[skynniilegend]

Day 10/90

Guys I broke my fast after 21 hours. I’m about to get my period and that’s makes fasting much more difficult for me.

As I’ve already mentioned, I will stop doing these longer fasts after this week, bc I’ve noticed that they trigger my overeating too much and that’s fine. I know what works for me best (alternate day fasting with 36hour fasts) and that’s what I’ll stick to.

I can fast only so much until I get way too fatigued, nauseous and dizzy and it’s not worth the overeating in the end. I’ll do my fast until Sunday tho (62 hours) bc after all it was planned and now I definitely know that I have enough nutrients in me.

I slept almost 11 hours after yesterdays migraine. Don’t feel as bloated as I though I would after yesterdays eating.

My workout was amazing tho, utilised those carbs right 🙏🏼

I didn’t go as hard as I usually do bc I’m still somewhat exhausted from yesterday.

Tomorrow and Saturday will be really busy, since I work and have to study. Amazing for fasting!!! Yay

I will get a new (ana-)journal tomorrow as a reward for being 65kg.

Total cals: 1600

Workout: leg day at the gym + walking pad 90 mins

Weight: ???

Steps: 18328

[skynniilegend]

Something cool happened last night.

I wasn't feeling well so I was really craving a packet of crisps. I was so close to getting it from the cupboard.

But then I thought, hold on - lets think about this. Why do I want the crisps? Because I feel crappy and eating crisps used to make me feel good.

But I know that consuming all those oils,salt and sugar will not make me feel good long term. Even if i only have one packet its damaging for health and weight. And it could lead to a binge due to the addictive chemicals.

So i acknowledged the fact that I wanted to feel good and thought, well instead of that why don't you buy a new book or do some clothes shopping.

And that simple thought structure actually worked!

The cravings ended and I didn't even feel hungry anymore.

Replacing a food treat with a non consumable treat is really working out for me. And I never even ended up buying the books or clothes. But simply listening to my body, breaking down my thought pattern and changing it into something more positive really helped.

[skynniilegend]

Just saw a reel from this navy seal talking about how to break a pattern, and I think it will be useful when trying to curb a binge. There are actually two things you can try

1. Get a bowl of ice cold water, add some ice cubes to be sure is cold and dunk your face in it.

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique: name 5 things you see, touch 4 things close to you, name 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste

These 2 things are supposed to help not just with breaking bad habits and patterns but reduce anxiety and stop panic attacks 🤷‍♀️ i think they're worth a try

[skynniilegend]

Day 5

Why do I want to lose weight?

Because I’ve been fat for majority of my life. It totally sucks for sooo many reasons.

I remember being 13 going shopping w my friends and legitimately none of the clothes fitting me?

All the bullying, having no confidence, getting treated like crap… after I lost weight I finally felt like myself. A huge accomplishment, my biggest wish I had since I was like 8. I’m doing it for so many reasons, one of the most significant ones being that staying fat (for myself people I am not fatphobic nor have I ever been!!) is way more painful than losing weight.

I don’t wanna have to hide myself in the summer, being so disgusted w myself.

Since I’ve been going to the gym for 2,5years now, i finally wanna see some definition.

Am I doing it for myself?

Yes, I am doing it for myself. Always have and always will. It’s about how I feel in my body. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2,5 years and he was with me, loved me and told me how beautiful I was no matter at what weight (40lb differences).

This weightloss is ab finally getting my dream body I have been wanting for years and years and each day I’m getting closer. I’m getting thinner.

Im 3,6kg/8lbs away from reaching my lw up until this point, and 10,6kg away from reaching my gw💙

Though I will probably go down even further but I will do that more slowly and healthily.

[skynniilegend]

I started my day yesterday w getting a migraine and ended it with having a sleep paralysis as I fell asleep.

Now I’ve slept almost 12 hours bc the the last 7 days took a toll on me…

Going to the gym soon to let out all of my anger, disappointment and frustration

[skynniilegend]

My body is taking revenge on me for eating 3500 cals today.

And that’s on Crohn’s disease 💅🏻

All jokes aside, I try to memorise this feeling as best as I can w my body, bc overeating for me is not only mental pain and physical discomfort, but also legitimate inflammation of my intestines sooo..

Someone smack the shit out of me next time I decide to stuff my face w disgusting sugary stuff

[skynniilegend]

manifesting

[skynniilegend]

Day 9/90

I got a migraine shortly before I broke my fast, I think it was due to stress bc the last week was extremely draining.

Broke my fast after 61.5 hours and ate

For meal no. 1 I mostly (over-)estimated

today is my rest day from strength training so no gym. I planed on going on my walking pad but I’m still not feeling great after the migraine

My binge was the result of the ongoing family issue+me about to get my period+feeling depressed (one of the reasons being my body)

Anyways, I won’t eat until Sunday(84hour fast). I am again disgusted by myself. On the bright side however, I tracked everything I ate and calculated everything so that I am still in a great average deficit.

Todays cals: 3500

Steps: 3336

Workout:

Weight: 65.6kg 🥳

Having a high sw sucks in so many ways sure, BUT you lose weight so fast and so easily 😭🙏🏼

What I ate

Meal 1:

Veggies, including avocado 😋 ~110 cals

2 eggs ~164 cals

Bread rolls (1,5) ~348 cals

Cream cheese ~105 cals

Cheese ~125 cals

Smoked salmon (my fav) ~96 cals

Mango ~78 cals

Honey ~15 cals

Strawberry jam ~37 cals

Fig mustard ~28 cals

Coffee creamer ~27 cals

Total: 1170 cals

Meal 2:

Strawberries ~40 cals

Protein bar ~163 cals

Total: 203 cals

Meal 3:

Matcha w low fat milk + honey ~69 cals

Bread w chicken ~79 cals

Weetabix bowl w almond butter, blueberries, low-fat milk and cereal ~345 cals

Total: 414 cals

Meal 4: binge 🫠 ~1712cals

[skynniilegend]

I went from binges of me eating daily 4500+ cals to me having „binges“ of me eating under 3500cals whilst still being over all in a deficit.

I also track EVERYTHING I binge on for 2 reasons

1. to hold myself accountable and fix this mess

2. it actually slows down my binges and calms me down in a way? Like it’s not as easy bc I have to weigh everything out and stuff

[skynniilegend]

Update: I definitely noticed less hunger during my clean fast. Overall I felt better, although it was hard in the beginning. Tomorrow after lunch I’ll start my 72 hour fast🤭

As I’ve mentioned I will work on Friday and Saturday so it’ll be easier for me to fast since I’m busy 🤞🏻

It’s my mums birthday on Sunday (the day I will break my fast) and I will break my fast w protein and veggies, later having some cake. On Monday we’ll do a little trip to the next big town where we wanted to eat at a restaurant. Will aim for the lowest calorie option. Kinda stresses me that we’ll spend the entire day together in a sense that she’ll monitor what I eat. Whatever after that I’ll fast again

Next week fasts will be clean fasts.

No Diet Pepsi

No zero cal energy drinks

No little splash of low fat milk in my coffee

I somehow got in the habit of dirty fasting and I’m not the biggest fan of it since I’m not reaping the benefits as much as I could.

The artificial sweetener especially are not ideal bc they mimic sugar entering my body thus creating an insulin spike. Once my insulin is up i’m not able to use fat as fuel.

That’s why I’ll start w clean fasts again, which consist of:

Water (+neutral electrolytes w/o sweetener or taste)

Black coffee

Green tea and other herbal teas