solaqe - Tumblr blog

solaqe · 3 years

Text

gender neutral!reader

pairing : hinata shouyou x reader

genre : fluff

summary : you and your crush, hinata, definitely have mutual feelings for each other. he just doesn’t know it yet. or does he?

word count : 1.1k

content warnings : none

“hinata, hurry up!” you could hear his younger sister, natsu, holler at him even from outside the house.

he and you usually walk to school together on the days you don’t have morning tutoring. you’d met him a few months back in the principal's office, where he was voluntold to show you around since you were a new student - a role that’s very hard to outgrow - and he was so friendly all the time. you really liked that about him, his ability to get along with everyone.

“[y/n]’s waiting!” natsu’s shrilly but somehow raspy voice rang out again. soon after, the brightly-orange haired boy came scurrying out the door.

“hey… sorry i’m late-“ shouyou managed to get out through heaving breaths.

you giggled at his messily stuffed backpack and bedhead hair. “rough morning, i presume,” your sarcasm always finds its way out your mouth someway or another.

he scrunched his face and pulled a jokingly annoyed face, then quickly "fixed his hair", took your wrist and started skipping (yes, skipping.) down the sidewalk, leading you awkwardly behind him and giving you no choice but to skip alongside him if you didn’t want to trip.

these little moments of platonic affection and physical touch had always left you in a happy mood for hours afterward, and it took a lot of misfortunes to interrupt that daze.

shouyou looked over at you and smiled. god, that smile. it may be the love talking, but his grin seemed to release an energy that instantly brightened everything within a mile radius. seeing him happy always made you want to just enjoy life with him.

you felt the hand around your wrist start sliding down to your palm, then your fingers interlocking. his were so soft and long, you loved the way they complimented yours.

sometimes you and hinata walk in silence the whole way to school, not uttering a word to each other. as awkward as it may sound, you enjoy those days even more than the ones where you conversate. not to say you don't like speaking to him - he's got quite an... interesting personality - but there's something about quietly enjoying each other's company that makes you fall harder for him every time. (that, and you lack decent social skills, so it's a lot less mentally challenging.)

this was one of those days. enjoying the pinkish sunrise, the slowly awakening neighborhood, the beautiful boy by your side, it was all you could ask for.

eventually you both got to the front doors of your school, and parted ways since you had no classes together. if you're being honest, your 8 hours there is pretty much a blur until afterwards, when you reunite with shouyou to walk home together.

you waited outside for him to be dismissed, and after a few minutes you started to get a little nervous until you heard a familiar voice ringing out through all the chatter:

"[y/n]! over here!"

you're a little embarrased by how loud he called your name, but that quickly faded when you saw his glowing face and excitement to see you. (not like that... bye.)

you took his hand on instinct and started towards the sidewalk. "how's english class? still failing?" you teased about his terrible grade in that class.. "surprisingly, no," he replied, his amber eyes brightening even more. you're shocked at his reply, then punched him in the arm softly . "c'mon, no need to lie," you said in a mockingly interrogating tone. “big talk from someone with a 13 in art. what, can you not even draw stick figures?” he countered. you scoffed and laughed. “you did not just go there, hinata shouyou.”

you both argued back and forth for a while until you reached the small park that, over the years, you’ve realized is a pretty good hangout spot since it seldom has visitors. there’s an area away from the park’s trail, full of wildflowers and usually surprisingly rid of bugs. shouyou sat first, then gestured for you to follow.

there’s a few minutes of that comfortable silence you love. after a while, shouyou spoke. “you have tutoring tomorrow morning?” you nodded , then sighed. “yeah. for science. not art, which i looked into but turns out there’s not much you can do for a student who can’t even hold their pencil right,” you joked, which got a little laugh out of both of you. another moment passed where the only noises are from passing cars and the soft breeze.

“if it means we can walk together another day, i’ll tutor you on my own.”

the sentence caught you off guard, and you chuckled thinking it was sarcasm, but after you went quiet, you could see on his face how genuine he was. “wait, seriously?”

“yeah! i mean, science definitely isn’t my best subject, but i really love spending time with you every day, and to be honest, when i don’t, the rest of my day is really, really boring. so, y'know… if i help you after school, will you walk with me? every day?”

by the time the blushing boy stopped speaking, he had sent you into a flustered state of your own. did he really enjoy your company as much as you did his?

“[y/n]?” hinata whispers after you forget to respond.

“what- oh, yeah, yeah! i’d like that,” you pause to smile. “yeah, i’d love that.”

that beautiful grin of his shows again, and you almost melt.

you both take a second to watch the sun, going to rest after a rather long day. you turn subtly to see hinata. he looks so perfect. in that moment, he seems to shine even brighter than the sun.

“[y/n], i want you.” shouyou said suddenly, still squinting at the sky.

“…what?”

“i want you, i’m not sure exactly why but i feel so happy and comfortable around you like you wouldn’t judge me for anything, and i love the way you look when you laugh and study and stress out and walk and do things and those natural moments i catch you being beautiful, they make me realize- i guess, yeah, i really want you.”

he took a moment to let that sink in, for you or himself you’re unsure.

“can i… have you?”

your eyes went wide, and you had to recollect your thoughts before answering. first with a nod, then out loud. “of course. yeah, of course.”

he smiled once again, then turned back to the pleasant scenery. in an attempt to hide your ecstasy, you do the same.

you guys didn’t kiss or anything after that, and that’s okay.

because he’s yours. and you’re his. and that’s a better feeling than any kiss could’ve granted you.

146 notes · View notes

solaqe · 3 years

Text

- masc!reader

- pairings : sugawara koushi x reader

- genre : angst

- summary : after a wild house party where everyone got wasted, koushi starts to get frustrated with your unwillingness to go past second base with him. [timeskip to when koushi and you are attending college.]

- content warnings : mild swearing, drinking, S/A, mentions of nsfw

- word count : 1.5k

- A/N : the end was a little rushed but enjoy i guess :)

“doesn’t the sun look… awfully dim today?” sugawara asks, staring admiringly out the car window.

“thats… that’s the moon, kou,” you correct him, though you know it’s the alcohol speaking. he’s slouching in the passenger seat beside you driving home. him and a bunch of other people had a few too many drinks at some rando’s birthday party; your hesitance to participate in these kinds of events (sugawara had to practically drag you out of the house for you to even be there) made you designated driver since you were the only one willing to sit out of taking shots. it was enjoyable nevertheless; you danced and did karaoke and ate all the finger food you could swallow.

“close enough,” koushi mutters, his words slurring together. you snort quietly at his drunk mannerisms, glad he wasn’t the one driving both you right now.

turning into the parking lot of your apartment, you get out and help your boyfriend out of his seat and up the stairs to your home. he drops onto the sofa immediately, and you do the same.

you sigh in slight exhaustion. “tonight was fun,” koushi says, turning towards you. you nod, then it’s quiet. “yeah,” you reply verbally after a while. looking down for a second, the boy scoots closer to you, your right thigh touching his left. another moment of awkward but intimate eye contact, wondering who’d make the first move. as usual, sugawara did, cupping a hand around your head and touching your ear, and moved in for a kiss.

moments like these made you excitingly nervous, feeling his touch on your skin, being vulnerable. his hands traveled down to your neck, then to your collarbone as your tongues lapsed into each other. you could feel yourself getting warm, both your breaths growing harder.

koushi's warm hands travel their way down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up slightly then sliding them up your torso as you continue kissing. your breath hitches, but you let him. when he tugs at your shorts though, you gasp and quickly grab at his wrists, then giggle awkwardly. as much as you like him being touchy with you, you've always done everything possible to avoid sexual activity. there's something about it that makes your stomach churn.

"kou, you're-" you catch your breath, "-you're drunk. maybe we should do this another-" "[y/n]..." he draws out your name with a pout. "you always do this. i feel- i feel on top of the world right now, or whatever. i wanna start living, do shit i'm gonna regret. don't you?" you look away from him, hating that sincere look in his eyes. "not really, i kinda-" you whisper but get interrupted. "why not? i mean, we're young, we're happy, we- we're together. 4 months going strong. i mean, that's what relationships are for! being intimate with your partner, cuddling, kissing... having sex." he says that last phrase with a connotation you can't quite read. you shift to look back at his drunken face.

"you're not listening to me. i don't want to have sex with you. no, i don't want to have sex with anyone. at least not yet." you raise your voice a little with each word.

despite your wishes, suga tries climbing on top of you, putting both of you in an awkward wrestling position. "no-" you try to get him off of you, but he won't budge. his hot breath reeks of liquor, and his previously soft touch is desperate and rough. you struggle to get out from under him while he's grunting, trying to get your pants down your legs.

"get off me!" you scream, which stuns him just long enough for you to escape.

glancing at sugawara in this state, he looked... vicious. like a snake that failed at attacking its prey. you'd never seen him this way, so aggressive. dangerous, even.

you wanted to say something to him, but no words came out. instead, you turned around and half-jogged to your room. for a split second before you left, though, you saw his eyes soften and his mouth open to say something you didn't want to stick around to hear. "...just drunk! i'm sorry," is all you make out before you get to your bed.

the door shuts with a bang behind you, and you slink into your covers with a sigh.

was i being too harsh? i know we're in a relationship, i just don't feel right... doing the deed. it's nothing against kou, just the general thought of it - the sweat, the awkwardness, the movements - is just revolting. on top of that, i fucking hate the way my body looks. i’d be so insecure about it the whole time. i feel bad, but i just can't do it. i'm such a bad boyfriend...

your eyes start to droop, and you drift unwillingly to sleep.

next morning, you awaken to a big note on the couch reading “i’m sorry. i overstepped. call me when you’re awake.” he didn’t sign it, obviously. who else would it be?

you crumple the note and exhale harshly, walking to the refrigerator and getting some mandarin oranges, the only thing that looked appealing. i really need to go grocery shopping.

sitting down and turning the tv on, you scroll through channels but nothing catches your eye. you can’t keep kou’s note off your mind, and you hate yourself for being so hesitant to try things with him. how did he even get home last night? you hope he didn’t drive in that state. eventually your emotions win you over and you dial in his number.

the phone rings for a moment, then you hear suga’s soothing voice. “hello?” he says in a tired tone that makes you melt. you’re silent until he continues. “[y/n]?” he asks, his voice cracking a bit. “it’s me. how’d you get home? where are you? i’m sorry-“ you start to ramble, but he cuts you off.

“don’t apologize. i’m the one who should be sorry; i went too far without your permission and i genuinely apologize for that… i was pretty wasted but that doesn’t excuse my pressuring you.” he pauses with a shaky sigh. “please forgive me [y/n], i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. i won’t do again, please just give me a chance to make it up to you,” suga finishes his monologue.

"it's... fine." it really wasn't, but you didn't want to create any drama. plus, he was drunk. it wasn't his fault. right?

“okay… okay.” suga says to you, then again to himself. “so… i wanted to take you out somewhere,” he goes on. “where?” you ask. “anywhere you want!”

you think about it, then finally decide. “do you wanna go to that cinema down the street from your house?” “of course! i’ll pick you up.” he says, then you both hang up.

you go to get ready. looking in the mirror you remember you have the same clothes on from last night, but you’re too lazy to take a shower. you dig through your drawers for a causal button up and some loose jeans, then relax on the couch and anxiously await your ride.

after kou picks you up and you get to the theater, he pays for snacks and two tickets to an indie movie you’ve never heard of. your seats are in the back, in the dark and private area of the room.

the lights dim and the movie starts, and as soon as it does, you can feel the aura around your boyfriend change. about 15 minutes in, his hand finds his way to yours and squeezes it. you appreciate his touch but are still paranoid that he’d try to pull the same shit he did yesterday. instead of him making you feel giddy, you feel tense and a bad kind of nervous.

the movie finishes without any uncomfortable contact with suga, but it still isn’t the same as before. now every time you guys get too close together, your heart starts beating and you can’t think straight. like he’s trying to suffocate you every time he lays his hands on you.

weeks pass, and you try to save the relationship, but it’s slowly falling apart. he pulled a few more stunts, and now you just don’t feel safe around him, which is one of the key necessities to a healthy bond. you just can’t look at him like you did before. no way you’d tell him this though, no telling what he might do to you then.

so you just let him use you however he wants when he gets ready.

which isn’t the dream life. but what other choice do you have? he’s the only one that’ll really provide and care for you, really love you. so it’s a give-and-take.

what’s so bad about that?

44 notes · View notes