soldierkeeponmarchingon - Tumblr blog

[soldierkeeponmarchingon]

Hey! This is the first time I've seen your blog but I just read your Aftermath Markus x Simon thing and wanted to tell you that I love your writing style! It's so nice to read tbh. Keep it up!

Thank you so so much!!!

[soldierkeeponmarchingon]

Aftermath

authors note: this was something my friend wanted me to do and I love her for it. its probably incredibly ooc but it was a nice side project for the bigger things im working on

Warnings: panic attacks and dissociation written from personal experience, rly shitty angst, shitty in general, done on mobile for the majority sooo

Word count: 1k+

tags: @derpydanandphil

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He remembered so vividly..  Having left him.

"Markus, there's nothing we can do! We can't take the risk!"

He remembered being handed a gun, and the intention behind it making him sick. He remembered looking into blue eyes filled with anguish and dread.

"Simon.."

"I-it's okay, Markus. Just- just get it over with,"

His hand shook, the gun weighing heavy in his hand as he tried to lift it to aim at his.. his-

"No! No.. I won't... I.."  I can't...

He fell to his knees in front of Simon and forced himself to look up. They stared at one another for a moment before Markus was pulling the fatally damaged deviant to his chest for a long and heartbreaking moment. The gun was discarded to his side. The pair took in the presence of each other for a moment longer before the latter pulled back ever so slightly to press his lips to the former's hairline. He pulled the rest of the way back, reaching for the gun to hand to Simon as a knowing look passed between them. Knowing that he probably won't come back. Knowing that he may have to end his own life… Knowing that they were more than just friends. Knowing that Markus was trying so hard not to fall apart.

"Be strong, Simon." He heard North address him distantly but his eyes were trained on the ground. He wanted the color of icy-violet to be his last memory of him. Not crumpled and slowly dying in the snow.

So yes, the fact that the boy was standing right before him during his never-ending mourning was quite heart stopping.

"Simon…?"

"Hey.."

Suddenly there was this huge weight that Markus felt lifting from his shoulders. He hadn't realized it was even there. His LED burned like a yellow flame whilst Simons was a feeble red, quivering with anxiety. Anxieties that elevated as Markus stepped closer, they were quickly dispelled as he felt arms close around him. He returned the embrace and didn't hesitate for a moment to bury his head into Markus' neck.

The hug started gentle but quickly escalated into something more desperate and passionate. Fabric was balled up under Simons' hands and he pressed himself farther into Markus as if trying to completely block out the rest of the world. Markus was squeezing him to death in waves upon waves of protectiveness and relief and pure love that Simon could practically feel it radiating. Skip to only moments later and He can feel the skin beneath his face turn damp and he pulled back a bit.

"S-sorry-"

"Sh-sh-shhh, it's okay... I-it's okay,"

At the comment and the warm hand tracing patterns into his back he only cried harder. His body shook and his chest hurt from the little air making it to his artificial lungs. He didn't necessarily need it to breathe but, it maintained his comfortable temperature and without it, his stress levels rose dramatically. He could feel himself overheating and his head grew fuzzy. It got worse when the arms he was depending on to keep him safe began to pull away. He was hyperventilating.

"H-hey, Simon? It's alright... it's okay.. everything's fine, see? Hey look at me,"

Simon lifted his too-heavy head to look up at Markus' mismatched eyes.

"Your safe.. everything is gonna be okay" Simon nodded vigorously, eyes shutting tight and trying to get himself to calm down but to no avail. The hand that appeared on his cheek was frightening but they way it held his face made him feel just a bit better. Despite the available grounding points around him, he could feel himself slipping away with each passing moment, drifting farther and farther into the clouds. He ignored the body on the ground that was being held by the other in an attempt at comfort. He ignored the other body shaking his companion on the concrete far, far below. He just let himself float into oblivion as the body on the ground sat pale and numb and still struggling to breathe. Alive but not willing to live.

"S-Simon? What's wrong? C'mon, can you hear me?"

The voice threatened to pull him crashing back down and he let out a whimper. He wanted to stay floating, forever disassociating from the world that has caused him so much pain.

"Simon, can you hear me?"

He wanted to pull away but he knew that alone would call him back.

"I know you're scared, but I'm right here!"

He didn't want to be hurt but, that voice was stabbing him in the heart even in his numb space. His intense breathing became louder and louder as he felt himself coming down from his deadly high.

"Please say something!"

Markus didn't quite understand what was going on, all he knew was that Simon was hurting and he was trying desperately to fix it. He didn't understand panic attacks, despite his deviancy he still had plenty to learn. He reached out to stroke a thumb across his cheek when the eyes of the other snapped open.  "Mar-Markus?"

"Hey, hey buddy, it's alright. You with me?" A nod. More sharp intakes of breath and small mumbles in between. "Can I hold you?"

"N-no! No.. I-no.."

"That's alright," it hurt, but he didn't want to make it worse. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't- I don't know! I don't know what's going on-I don't like it!" He was far past hysterics and it was scaring the pair out of their minds.

"Can.. can you tell me our friend's names?" He hoped Simon would be desperate enough not to ask why, because Markus figured that maybe giving him something to focus on would distract him from whatever had triggered.. this.

"U-um... You, Josh-Josh, North… m-me"

"Yeah, good. Now, can you tell me when I found Jericho?"

"That was.. three- three and a half- a month ago? I-I think,"

"Mhm, you're right. Can you tell me what your favorite thing is? It can be anything,"

"My fav- favorite thing? I-" pause to cough " I like to sing.. with you and- and look at stars w-with you and.." At this point, he had calmed down considerably without fully realizing. Though whatever he was about to say next sent a few more shaking breaths and he covered his face in his hands.

"Hey, Si.. don't get yourself worked up again.." He took in a small puff of air and pulled crystal doe-eyes back to Markus. "That's better, right? Can- Do you want a hug?" Simon nodded and let himself be held. He melted into Markus' side and sighed heavily. His synthetic eyelids dropped and he dimly noticed a little notification in his peripheral, telling him that sleep-mode was imminent. He tucked into Markus' shirt and slipped away to a far more peaceful place, in the arms of someone he loved.

Markus rested his chin on Simons fluffy blonde hair and found his own artificial body aching for rest. Careful not to wake him, he heaved him and Simon off the ground to head back to what the survivors had dubbed ‘New Jericho'. Markus had an apartment at the very start of the town and that's where he was heading now, somewhere warm where he could ensure Simon's safety. He paused at the door for a moment to figure out a way to open it, then headed straight for his bedroom. rA9 forbid he make the poor boy sleep on the couch.

"Mmph... Markus..?" Shit. So much for not waking him...

"Shhhh, go back to sleep,"

"Where are we?"

"My house, try an' get some more sleep okay? Do..do you want me to sleep in the other room?"

"..No! U-um... Can.. can you stay? Please?" Markus didn't need to be told twice as he slipped into bed beside Simon.. who was shivering.

"Do you want me to turn the heat up?"

"Uhm…" He blushed and looked away but Markus just smiled fondly.

"C'mere," He inched closer to tuck him back into his arms, burying his face in soft, sand-colored hair. He heard the other sigh with contentment and decided that everything was alright, at least for the time being. They mumbled their goodnights and I love you as they fell into a comfortable sleep, knowing full well that tomorrow was going to be a whole ordeal of confusing feelings.

But that's a story for another time...

[soldierkeeponmarchingon]

Deception

@plant--momx requested: Ok I've been thinking abt this; at the end of the game when Connor goes to the Cyberlife tower, and Hank is threatened by Connor’s double, Hank says ‘he’s your spitting image,’ which entails he was tricked by fake Connor. So like...how did fake Connor convince hank to come with him? These are things i need to knowwwww

Author’s note:Looking back this was really just my interpretation of Hank’s POV during this scene so i am very sorrry i didnt really do this wonderful prompt justice. 

Warnings: swearing, angst? not realy tbh. fluff if you squint

Word count: 2k+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

The real reason that hank fell for it,

"Lieutenant Anderson?"

Well.. it was his voice.

"It's me, Connor.."

But it's way too easy to feign innocence.

Hank looked over at the door with a blatantly confused looked. Hasn't the kid found Jericho by now? Why was he here? He'd come by, at least hours ago, for none than clothes to ‘make him look trashy'. The confusing part was that he also came to say goodbye.

"Hank! Hank, I found it!"

"The hell are ya' doin' in my house?"

"I'm sorry to barge in but, I found it, Hank!"

He remembers him looking like an excited little kid. He remembered how he shoved down the urge to make that endearing comment to the ecstatic ball of energy in front of him.

"Found what?"

"Jericho! It took me a while, but I figured it out!"

"Well, shit. What do ya' need?"

He remembers looking through all his old clothes while the android decided to make his opinion on each one. Remembered scoffing each time and defending the nostalgia-inducing fabric.

"I think that'll do,"

"Leuite-"

"Kid, if you call me that one more time I'll punch your teeth out"

"Oh.. then what would you like me to call you?"

"Oh, I dunno.. how about' Hank yeah?"

Hank remembered the sheepish smile that spread across the face of mister ‘i am not a deviant'. He chuckled softly to himself at that. Then his brain once again reminded him with the more upsetting part of that visit.

They were standing in front of the door when Connor got a strange look on his face. Granted, it wasn't strange because the expression was unrecognizable, it was plain dread... And sadness. It was strange because it was an emotion. Something he'd never shown in such a way that it actually scared him.

"..Connor?"

"I don't know if I'll ever see you again…"

Hank remembered the pang in his chest when he didn't see the hug being offered as he said a quiet goodbye. The way he could have sworn his warm brown eyes glossed over in the porch light. He remembered calling after him, telling him to meet him outside chicken feed when this whole thing was over. The way he smiled hopefully over his shoulder.

So why the hell-

"Hank! Are you in there?"

Whoops, "Yeah, hang on a sec'!"

He opened the door to find a uniformed Connor on his steps.

"The hell are ya' doin here, kid? What happened to the clothes I gave you?"

"Oh, they're just in the car. If you come with me you can collect them. I successfully neutralized Markus but, now I must go back to cyberlife to be reset."

But...

"Wait, wait, wait, reset-"

"Yes, lieutenant, now please collect your things; I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Hank looked at him, at a loss and searching brown eyes that seemed colder than when he had seen them last.

"Yeah.. yeah, course," He said like he was tired, or drunk... But he was truly heartbroken. The way the kid had smiled not five hours ago... He just didn't understand. He walked numbly out into the cold to get the warm clothes he'd picked for Connor's trip.He didn't give a damn if androids couldn't get sick, cause they could sure as hell freeze.

He leaned over expecting to find his things folded on the taxi seat. What he found, was that he was falling face first onto the leather seat from a hard shove to his back. He scrambled to look at his attacker only to be met with the barrel of a gun. Blue orbs met brown ones, frigid and glaring in hatred.

"Stay where you are, we're going to take a little trip."

"Ki-"

"Stop calling me that! Your ‘kid' has betrayed Cyberlife and your going to help me stop him. He really should have paid attention to the amount of trust he had accumulated in you. Not to mention your pathetic amount of trust in him."

Hank sat in shock as the auto-piloted taxi drove the pair to cyberlife headquarters. He had no clue what to do. He'd never been in the position where he'd fought Connor but, he'd seen him fight. He certainly wouldn't last long under mechanical arms if he even managed to get a few sloppy punches in.. no, Connor fought with a precision that even another android could barely match. He thought about stealing a gun from a guard as he passed by, only to be shoved hard towards a huge glass lift.  

"Keep a damn move on!" He winced as the machine snagged him by the collar and growled in his ear as he all but stumbled into the elevator with the android walking briskly behind. He'd make some smart comment on how ‘only deviants could express annoyance' only to find he just didn't have the energy. He felt drained and defeated being dragged by a being he'd almost mistook for his- his what? His partner? His friend…? His-

The lift car stopped abruptly and again there was a gun at his back and his hands were in the air. They stayed that way as they walked through a large aisle of male androids in neat lines and rows. When he saw the stupid tuft of hair on his head bouncing over all the rows, though, he let his hands drop. He didn't hang his head in fatigue at first, he just stared at the bounce of Connors dark chocolate curl and thought about how he looked like a little kid bounding up to an ice cream truck.

And he smiled.

Hank smiled knowing full well that someone was gonna get hurt. Knowing someone could die. Knowing that someone was more likely than not him. He didn't care anymore, because Connor woke up. He betrayed his own coding and decided to be himself. He woke up and now he's going to get to live a life of his own. He was going to laugh and dance and fall in love and that made him so happy. He could care less if he lost his life. He just knew that Connor would win, because he always gave it his all without any feeling. Now he would have the determination and a will to live that he had never had before and that the bastard behind him now would never have! So who cares if he doesn't get to see it first hand. He'd watch Connor from the bloody heavens above. Or he'd smile every day in hell knowing he was okay."

Who cares if he's a casualty in this war. He's more than willing to give up his life for thousands of others who haven't yet lived.

"Step back, Connor! And I'll spare him!" Hank had gotten lost in his thoughts for a moment, so the volume in which the android yelled made him visibly flinch.  He was pushed into the open where Connor could see him and he locked onto familiar eyes to proclaim a half-hearted apology. "Sorry, Connor... This bastard's your spittin' image..." he was talked over almost immediately despite his efforts to make himself heard.

"Your friends' life is in your hands! Now it's time to decide what matters most," The machine paused and turned to thank for dramatic effect but hank paid no mind considering he'd found the floor pretty interesting since the asshole first pointed that gun to his head. "Him… Or the revolution." Something about the way he spat out that last word made Hank's blood boil.

"Don't listen to him! Everything this fucker says is a lie!" He tried to say it with force, to urge Connor to forget about him and free the other droids...

But he never listened to anything he said, did he?

"I used to be just like you," Connor addressed the android in a calm and collected manner. "I thought nothing mattered except the mission…" Hank looked up for a split second, only to stay there as blue met a much kinder brown. "But then one day I understood." The moment those words left his lips, Hank knew he couldn't stand there and get killed... He had to protect this kid. He had to help him succeed.

"Very moving, Connor," The goddamn condescendence dripping off of his robotic words only fueled his determination further and he forced himself to stay still and wait for an opportunity where there wasn't a gun pointed at his head. "But I'm not a deviant. I'm a machine designed to accomplish a task, and that's exactly what I'm going to do!" They both heard his grip on the gun tighten, getting a threatening distance between his finger and the trigger. "Enough talk!" It's time to decide who you really are. Are you going to save your partner's life? Or are you going to sacrifice him?"

Keep going, Connor. Keep going, keep going! Ignore him! 

"Alright, alright!" No! "You win.." The two Connors stared at one another for a moment before the android snapped around to point the weapon at his Connor's chest.

And just like that time stopped. The world was a blur as Hank lunged for the gun aiming at the last thing he cared about. He knew cyberlife would no longer repair him- he couldn't let him die. He fought as hard as he could until suddenly he was knocked out of harm's way. He collected himself to see a gun skid across the floor and two androids fighting with jarring straight faces. One of them might be a deviant but, he supposes that they still can't exactly feel the pain of the identical bullet wounds in both of their chests. He stumbled to his feet and grabbed the gun on the -now scuffed- white floor. When one was on top of the other he made himself known.

"Hold it!" They froze mid-fight to identify the interruption. They slowly rose to their feet and stood with identical, idle caution.

"Thanks, Hank." One spoke. "I don't know how I would have managed without you..." Hank paused for a moment trying to pick apart whether or not the android speaking was the right one. He paused a moment too long. "Get rid of him! We have no time to lose." Hank couldn't trust nor betray this one from the short sentence. Shit...

"It's me, Hank! I'm the real Connor." Shit! It was too little... C'mon..think!

"One of you is my partner," He said steadily. "The other is a sack of shit." He looked between the two pairs of eyes, looking for something- anything to tell him who to shoot. "Question is who's who..?"

"What are you doing hank? I'm the real Connor. Give me the gun and I-"

"Don't move!" He yelled, and there was so much hatred behind it, that he would have apologized profusely if this turned out to be his friend... He turned back to the other, who hadn't said much.

"Why don't you ask us something?" He offered. "Something only the real Connor would know." Hank considered it for a moment before turning back.

"Uh, where did we first meet?" His eyes flicked back to his left as the Connor in his peripheral moved forward slightly, mouth parted. Even so, the other beat him to it.

"Jimmy's bar! I checked four other bars before I found you. We went to the scene of a homicide. The victim's name was Carlos Ortiz." He was about to ask another for final confirmation before he heard a small voice speak,

"He uploaded my memory... " His gaze went back to the left abruptly and the look of pure anxiety and pain on his face was almost enough to make him shoot the other immediately... But he had to be sure. He aimed back to his left.

"What's my dog's name?"

"Sumo. His name is Sumo." Lefty immediately answered.

"I knew that too!" The other claimed. Then it hit him. When Connor reported back to cyberlife he was only giving information about the case.. Not extra little details he'd learned about people around him. Not-

"My son, what's his name?"

A pause from both parties, then...

"Cole." Hank looked back at the soft-spoken android to his left, and with the look in his eyes he already knew but, still, he prompted for him to go on.

God, he couldn't mess this up...

"His name was Cole. And he just turned six at the time of the accident…" His gaze flickered for just a moment and caught a glimpse of the other with its mouth agape in a last effort to save himself. He was about to lower the gun when Connor went on talking... "It's wasn't your fault, Lieutenant." The waver in his voice barely noticeable. "A truck skidded on a sheet of ice and your car rolled over. Cole needed emergency surgery but no human was available to do it… So an android had to take care of him… Cole didn't make it" The gun was slack in his hand as he relieved that moment but, then, "That's why you hate androids. You think one of us is responsible for your son's death." 

No... "Cole died because a human surgeon was too high on red ice to operate. He was the one that took my son from me." He said the words more to himself than anybody, " Him and this world where the only way people can find comfort is with a fistful of powder…"

"I knew about your son too!" Hank looked over  at the imposter with his eyebrow cocked in a ‘you really think you have another chance?' expression but, androids don't get social cues. "I would have said exactly the same thing!" He'd had enough. That much, the plastic seemed to realize "Don't listen to him, Hank! I'm the one who-!"

With a single shot, he fell to the floor, and the remaining pair relaxed and basked in sheer relief.

"I've learned a lot since I've met you, Connor. Maybe there's something to this... Maybe you really are alive. Maybe you'll be the ones to make the world a better place." Connor looked at him, in a sort of spacey, grateful way. "Go ahead, do what you gotta do."

He watched as he walked down the row and linked arms with another android. Watched on as they turned to the others and woke them up with gentle touches and two simple words.

He watched as Connor turned back to look at him with a grin before disappearing to lead the crowd.

He watches still, years later, as his kid- his son falls asleep with his head on his lap, in the middle of his favorite movie.

A movie about trust.. And family.

..and robots.