sometimesilaugh

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Teeth that hungers for its own flesh,

hands that want to tear its own hair

A discomfort so strong,

this axis I spin on, a gentle tumble, like a rollercoaster derailed.

A minor problem, blown.

A request, shamed.

A passiveness so strong, it must be hungry quicksand swallowing me whole,

separating my courage from my ambition.

Different plumbing, both destined to hell.

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We must be our own before we can be another's.

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If I break at least there will be pretty things shattered on the floor.

If you cut your feet as you walk across the wooden tiles, admire the fracturing of light this way and that. If you inhale from pain may my stuttered words things too afraid to say aloud hidden between breaths, finally reach your lungs.

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The veil pulled back, and the sky is roaring

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Blue black hair sprawled across my pillow, like spilled dreams.

In my prostration I am boneless each removed, tied into a ladder so you can pick the stars from the night sky The silhouette of last night’s hallucination has hardened into a memory And I can’t breath Because the flecks of stardust from when you disturbed My universe has fallen into my cup,

Tea brewed under the moon’s silver fire, cold and stagnant under daylight's first sigh, and I walk bonelessly after you left me with the taste of the life we could've lived.

Inspired by the prompt 'Decay' @@snazzy-writes-a-little @picklemafia @versesbyaaliyah

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Swallow your fear and you can swallow the world.

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Summer evenings, suburbia dreams

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A word lingering there— not in the shape of a confession, but in the way your fingers paused just a second too long. In the ache of almost.

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The crown is on your head and today, you can swallow the world.

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Moonlight in my cup, sunlight in your hair

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Solitary walks along the highway, tracing the jagged ridges of the burning horizon with my eyes

Four of us, at the intersection, me and three cars numbers on die, brought about by listless chance

Today, a dead monarch on the sidewalk Its wings folded like a pyramid

Entire characters in my mind, but one scene replays over and over

The MC, flourishing a halberd,

Heavy with sorrow: “I fight now to kill”

A gnat hits me in the face, drowned instantly in a bead of sweat on my forehead

Oops

Curtains fall, but another show starts

There, it’s me, pacing around the room, distressed.

What are you stressed about, monkey? Even if the sky falls, it’ll collapse first on my shoulders.

He’s super tall.

And I feel, just for minute, this August spell, enchanted, warm wind wrapped around my wrist like ribbons. Lavender nights, clouds blown away carelessly by summer’s last breath

And I look up at the moon, not caring for once

If you are seeing the same.

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from "Trapeze: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1947-1955"

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Is the night empty because the stars reside in your eyes?

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Yi Lei, tr. by Tracy K. Smith, from My Name Will Grow Wild Like a Tree: Selected Poems; “I don’t want to be restored to reason”