srue-on-fire

[srue-on-fire]

more of you to learn

pairing: Eddie Diaz x Evan Buckley | 10K+ | Gen (for now) tags: friends to fiances, vacation, airplanes, road trips

The both of them sit at a table by the foggy window, sunlight filtering in slow and honey-soft. Buck breaks his muffin in half and slides a piece onto Eddie’s napkin without thinking. “You okay?” Eddie asks, nudging the ceramic sugar box towards Buck before he can ask.  Buck rips off a corner, chewing slowly. “Yeah. Just… feels weird being back. Seeing it all again. It’s like stepping into a memory that doesn’t belong to me anymore.” Eddie nods slowly. “You’re not that kid anymore.” Buck looks out the window. “No. But he’s still here, somewhere. Just waiting for my parents to make him feel like crap again. Like… I’m expecting my ten-year-old self to walk through that door and ask why the hell I came.”

Read on AO3 (ch-one | ch-two | ch-three | ch-four | ch-five)

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Everything Comes Back To You

3. DON'T LOSE SLEEP TONIGHT

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader Rating: General Audiences Title: Niall Horan's You and Me Summary: After Shannon leaves, surrendering custody of Christopher, Eddie is left to raise him alone under the weight of guilt and his parents’ judgment. You try to hold everything together, but love, frustration, and a bitter argument leave you both fractured and silent. Tags: childhood friends, temporarily unrequited love, angst, emotional hurt. Word Count: 1300

read on ao3

“I know he texted you. That boy couldn’t keep a secret if it came with chocolate. He’s all heart. Igualito a su papá. I saw the light in his face when he returned the phone back to the table as if nothing happened.”

“I figured you’d notice eventually.”

“I may be old, but I’m not blind,” she said, amused. “And he’s not exactly subtle, bless his heart. You should see how guilty he gets when I ask him what he’s doing —turns into a little tomato."

“I didn’t tell him to. I swear,” you laughed, leaning back against the pillows. “He just messaged me out of the blue.”

“I know. And I’m not calling to scold you. I just…” She sighed gently. “I wanted to check in. It’s been a while since we talked. And… I’ve been wondering what happened between you and Eddito.”

Your throat tightened, the quiet of the evening pressing in around you like cotton. “He didn’t tell you?”

A/N: posted this chapter on ao3 because it's more compatible with the spanish translations. next update this week. thanks for reading!

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only 7 chapters, she said.

weekly updates, she said.

the last update was 7 weeks ago.

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don't know what i was thinking last night as i was editing. totally skipped a whole scene. but here it is. wanted to share it here too, in case you guys already the fic before i updated it.

They land just after sunrise, the light pink and golden outside the small window.  The seat belt sign chimes off. People are already shoving upright, dragging bags down from overheads, bumping shoulders in the aisle like the plane’s on fire. A kid three rows up starts whining about his tablet dying. Buck watches it unfold like it’s all happening in another room. Eddie doesn't move either. His head is tucked against Buck’s shoulder, arms wrapped loosely around Buck’s again, yes half-lidded and quiet. It’s like they both silently agreed —without so much as a glance— that they’re not joining the chaos yet. There’s no point, when everyone is crammed elbow to elbow, huffing in impatience, trying to squeeze into spaces that don’t exist. “I hate this part,” Eddie says, voice still low and rough with sleep. Buck nods, his chin brushing lightly against Eddie’s hair. His hand that rests on Eddie’s knee, starts tracing small, lazy patterns without much thought. They sit like that for a while, untouched by the crowd, just breathing in the early hour and each other. He presses his nose against the soft hair and takes a deep breath, eyes falling shut for a long minute. It should be awkward. They’re draped together like they do this all the time —like this is just another layover in a long life shared. And maybe it is. In all the ways that count. But it doesn't stop giving Buck a whiplash. Eventually, the cabin grows quieter. The last of the bags disappear from overheads. A flight attendant smiles politely as she passes by, heading for the back galley as the crowd thins at the front. Buck stands up and stretches with a yawn he can’t quite stifle. Eddie stands behind him, rubbing the back of his neck, groggy but alert.  His hand brushes Buck’s lower back as they file out into the aisle with their bags in hands. It’s a small touch —casual, anchoring— but it makes Buck want to cry and laugh anyway. “You okay?” Eddie murmurs, barely loud enough to be heard over the rustle of bags and shuffling passengers. Buck nods once, smiling over his shoulder. “Yeah. I’m good.”

read on ao3

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idiots (affectionately) 😭

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more of you to learn

pairing: Eddie Diaz x Evan Buckley | 8K+ | Gen (for now) tags: friends to fiances, vacation, airplanes, road trips

Buck studies him for a moment longer than he should. He had removed his overshirt some time ago. There’s a little crease between his eyebrows. He looks tired in a way Buck rarely sees. Not like the burned-out tired he’s been seeing since Christopher left. But a kind of soft tired. Safe tired. It makes something in Buck ache. He looks down at his hand again, still holding Eddie’s —the ring feels heavy. It still feels like too much. But when Eddie shifts slightly in his sleep and his knee presses more firmly against Buck’s, Buck doesn’t pull away, pretending he doesn’t feel something heavy in his chest that has nothing to do with altitude. “You’re doing great,” he whispers to himself.

Read on AO3 (chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four)

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writing airport scenes is very hard as someone who's never been in one. i need to get on a plane asap. this lack of experience is hindering my writing skills. this was never a problem with smut. why don't people write more airport scenes?

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more of you to learn

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz | Gen (for now)

When the knock at the door comes, Buck jumps like he’s been caught committing a crime. He opens it to find Eddie —clean-shaven except for that damn mustache, wearing a sleeveless hoodie and jeans that make Buck’s brain short-circuit, just a little — and holding a bouquet of flowers. “Hey!” Eddie says, a little too cheerful for what’s ahead of them. “Sorry, couldn’t get the key in with my hands full.” Buck stares at the flowers like they’re a foreign object. “Did I forget my birthday?” He steps inside, holding out the flowers first —a few of them Buck’s favorites, annoyingly enough. Sunflowers and white roses tucked among white veronicas and a few feverfew. “Hey, even a fake fiancé deserves a nice bouquet,” he says, matter-of-fact. 

Read on AO3 (chapter one | chapter two | chapter three)

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a whole day in my writing process goes to using the search engine to check for the over repeated words and trying to rewrite them. like, why are dialogue tags so freaking hard??? why do em-dashes look so appealing in the first draft but not in the final???

Reading my own fanfiction is basically just a rollercoaster of emotional whiplash.

20% of the time: “Hold on. I wrote this? This is fire. This is emotionally devastating in the best way. This scene is dripping with tension. I’m a literary perfectionist. Someone give me a book deal.”

80% of the time: “Straight to jail. Immediate prison. Why is everyone’s breath hitching?. I used the word ‘gaze’ three times in one paragraph like I was possessed. Did I think 'his eyes darkened' was profound? Why is everyone clenching their jaws? Why is someone whispering 'their name like a prayer' again?? No one talks like this. What is this dialogue. Why are there so many weird metaphors and em-dashes…”

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lmao not me bursting into quiet tears writing the next chapter while i listen to my buddie playlist.

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sometimes, ryan reminds me that he’s just a human. he’s just a 37-year-old man with a certain degree of cringe factor.

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Yes, ao3 dying in our arms on this terrible evening is catastrophic but i think it's hilarious how 20k people just log into tumblr to share their sorrows. Like little orphans at a shelter

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em dash is so fucking sexy. puts her in a paragraph 8 times.

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a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.

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The fact that I immediately knew which fandom (and who the author is) that ‘got shot in the shoulder’ note is about is not crazy.

starting a collection of my favourite AO3 author’s notes

honourable mentions

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hmmm i think the doylist answer is just that the writers/director/producers don't care about eddie diaz, by giving him all that main-character-adjacent energy. they somehow managed to keep him one of the most relatable characters. it's a miraculous miracle.

I see mentioned on both sides that Eddie's and Chris's falling out/reconciliation should have been solved differently, would have needed more time/talking-through/focus/screentime or needed different pacing/approach.

And I kinda have to "sit on my hands" every time to not reply because what I'd *reallllly* like to say is a doylian reply to a watsonian problem and that would be derailing. But the thing is, if they wanted to address the problem/tension between Chris and Eddie *properly*, then they would have to talk about Kim. And I don't think they'd like to talk about Kim. At all. The nicest reply to that whole storyline was clear bafflement/WTF from *any* part of the fandom and I really doubt they want the audience to remember her.

a lot of us, if not all, don't talk about a looooooot of things in our lives that need to be talked about. we honestly don't believe the directors/writers care about the kim storyline.

[edit] for anyone who doesn't what they mean:

these are two ways of looking at a story —especially when you're analyzing inconsistencies, character choices, or plot holes. aka eddie diaz and his... basically every storyline.

watsonian perspective (named after dr. john watson, from sherlock holmes lit.):

you interpret the story from inside the universe.

everything happens for a reason within the story’s world.

example: "why did eddie do this?" —you answer based on his personality, history, or motivations (repressed, grieving, etc.) as if he's a real person.

doylist perspective (named after sir arthur conan doyle, who created sherlock holmes):

you interpret the story from outside the universe.

everything happens because the author (or writers, producers, etc.) made a choice.

example: "why did a eddie do this?" —you say, "because the writers needed drama", or "because christopher was leaving the show for school."

so, "a doylist reply to a watsonian problem" means—

someone (us) asks a question that assumes the story world is real (watsonian), but the answer given explains it based on behind-the-scenes reasons (doylist).

in this context:

watsonian question: "why did eddie do it? it doesn’t seem like him." doylist answer: "because the writers needed to write something for eddie and let christopher go, so that the actor can leave the show."

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