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[ssirenphony]

Tainted - Simon Ghost Riley x Female Reader

'Creature of Habit' - Chapter 2

(Also posted on wattpad - @ // iyafae11)

{Word count: 2.5K}

{Warnings: none}

I woke up relatively early the following day, I didn't get much sleep. Something about being in a new facility, a new place: a place I sure as hell wasn't adjusted to, made my skin crawl. I've lived on less sleep, two hours would have to do. I turned peering at the clock on the nightstand to my right, the clock reading 4 am. I groaned, and I sat up, I stirred in bed for well over five hours after hitting the soft mattress at just a little after 9 until I fell asleep at roughly 2 am.

I peeled myself out from under my covers, my bare feet hitting the cold, hard concrete floor and I sighed softly as my footsteps echoed as they lightly slapped against the floor. It was dark in my room, cold too. The only light was the red illumination from my alarm clock. The unfamiliarity tickled my skin, and goosebumps rose on my arms and legs as I extended my arm, looking for the wall. I trailed the smooth, finished paint, my nails slightly scratching as I took in the texture, shuffling in an attempt to find the door before my hand was upon the cold, rounded knob. I turned it quietly before slipping from my room and into the open hallway of the 141 dorms. The lights were dimmer, but it wasn't completely dark. And for that, I was grateful. After barely being able to navigate the four walls of my bedroom, I didn't know how I would've managed to navigate the large base without light.

I shut the door as quietly as I could, my arms instinctually wrapped around my torso as I shivered, I was in a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, both black and I walked with purpose as I made my way to the kitchen. The base was silent, my skin crawling as the only noise I could hear was the light humming of the dimly lit fluorescent lights and the pattering of my footsteps on the freezing floor. I took note of how cold it was in the base, mentally slapping myself in the face for not wearing pants or at least a pair of wool socks.

I exhaled softly as I rounded the corner and found the kitchen, I opened the cupboards, taking in the things around. I felt intrusive, like a pest, a mouse in a base full of hawks. Their prying eyes and predatory demeanors, I couldn't let it bother me though, my walls would stay up like my life depended on it. The men of the 141, as friendly as they were I couldn't trust them yet. Trust was the foundation of a team, and yet I never had that with my other task force. Just me and my will to survive against the world, it was a miracle, without my experience and forceful quick learning I would've been a goner. It felt weird being the new recruit, I wasn't a newbie, but I might as well have been. I knew they couldn't trust me either, my files, as bare as they can be, the only thing I upheld was my ruthless reputation and my bricked-up walls. I knew the foundation like the back of my hand, people try, they tried hard to chip away at the bricks, my exterior, wanting to see me crumble and break. I couldn't afford the breakage, the vulnerability, the codependence.

My hands brushed over the various glasses in the cupboard, I grabbed one and turned to get some water. My throat was dry, I wasn't sure if it was because of my nervousness or simply because I was thirsty, but both sounded accurate as my shaky hand held my glass. I sipped the water, a soft sigh leaving my lips as I leaned against the hard counter of the dark kitchen. I didn't bother to turn the light on, the door was illuminated with just enough light from the dim overheads that I didn't feel like turning them on.

I wasn't aware of my surroundings, my eyes flicking closed for a moment. When I was alone, I could feel my wall lift. It was a burden that released from my body, the heavily stacked bricks, their rough texture, and their bonding slipping for a moment. It only took one mishap, one brick to shift for the whole thing to tumble down. I couldn't afford that, I couldn't afford to have anyone witness my wall fall.

My eyes snapped open as I heard the rustling, my saddened expression quickly fell into a blank one as my eyes locked onto the taller frame that blocked the doorway of the kitchen. I didn't move a muscle, my eyes squinting at him, the man who so closely resembled death as he stood, looming. I held the glass in my hands still, the cold condensation dripping down to the hard linoleum of the floor, you could almost hear the droplets collide, as the room was completely silent.

"You just going to stare?" i asked, my eyes never leaving him. I watched as he shifted slightly, his balaclava giving away the slight movement of his jaw tensing.

"Are you going to just stare?" he retorted, and I quirked a brow.

"I asked you first," I said bluntly, and I heard a noise of amusement leave his lips at my stubbornness.

"Ladies first," he said, his voice low and gravely. his eyes, even though I couldn't see them, were on me. I felt the burn, like a moth drawn to a flame, the searing hot, uncomfortable burn of his stare.

I scoffed, "ladies?" I asked, standing up straight after leaving the counter. "Im flattered really.." I said lowly, my eyes locked on his, or rather the dark, abyss-like sockets of his skull mask. Moth drawn to a flame, his predatory demeanor didn't faze me, I couldn't let it bother me either. There was a definite shift in the energy of the room, his curious glances from dinner, his concern, it was gone now. Matching my stubbornness, my uncertainty, my distaste.

I shook my head, scoffing softly as he didn't say anything else. His fist clenched at his side before he made his way into the kitchen. With his large frame no longer blocking the door, the dim light finally seeped into the room. My eyes trailed his much larger figure as he opened the cupboard closest to the fridge, retrieving a smaller tin of tea before grabbing a mug from the highest shelf. I mustered a small laugh.

"Didn't take ya for a tea kinda lad," I said with a smirk, mimicking his accent. A grumble left him as he prepared his tea, the scent engulfed the room. Moth drawn to a flame. I could almost feel the tension, the static, the electricity. My eyes snapped to the floor. As I kept my gaze on the floor, I habitually picked at my ungloved hands, the skin lining my fingernails. It was always a habit of mine, my gloves couldn't cover them as they were fingerless. Nobody ever took a second to notice.

But, he did.

Though he said nothing as he saw from his peripheral. I didn't notice his gaze until I looked back up to meet his eyes as he stood, leaning against the other counter. His balaclava was pulled up slightly, his lips and his strong jaw exposed as he sipped his tea. I turned my gaze to his eyes, now that he wasn't a large barrier between the light and the darkness of the kitchen, I could see his brown eyes on me, his lighter lashes, and his smeared war paint. I squinted softly, not meaning to seemingly 'admire' him but I was curious. The silence, the tension thickened as I refused to remove my gaze from him.

"What? Do ya not like tea?" he asked, the question caught me off guard as I was looking at him.

"Not really much of a hot beverage girl, give me some coffee, then sure," I said, shrugging as I pulled my eyes away from him, resting up against the counter. My walls stood ever so high, my face flat as I huffed. Despite my attitude, my blunt answers, and my expression, he still asked questions. I couldn't really blame him though, as much of a closed book as I was, I would've asked too.

"Why did you get transferred to this unit?" he asked his voice low, his eyes still burrowing holes into me as he kept his gaze on the side of my head.

"Don't sound so excited for me to be here, LT," I said teasingly, before shaking my head and speaking again.

"My hostage unit captain only said that my 'expertise' was needed elsewhere. Not sure if that was a kind way of saying I wasn't needed, but I never was welcomed there regardless." I said, keeping my gaze on the kitchen's doorway, my eyes scanned the walls, the paint was different than my room, instead of white, a darker grey was swiped onto the thick 4 walls. I turned to Ghost as he hummed softly, the low vibration coming from his chest made me shiver.

"And whys that?" he asked, sipping his tea again, his eyes still on me as he analyzed my body language.

"Whys what?" I asked, not paying attention, but my eyes snapped to his.

"Why were you never welcomed with your other force?" he asked, his eyes locking with mine and I stayed like that for a moment. I sorted the words in my mind, picking up the pieces, moving them, and placing them before deciding that they in fact didn't go there. His eyes remained on me as you could almost see the wheels turning in my mind. Though my face was usually void of emotions, my brows furrowed the slightest bit.

He noticed.

"Being the only woman in a male dominant field, being a part of an only male task force. Being a woman with skills, some that range higher than them.." I started, and my eyes snapped back to the floor. "Jealousy, greed, envy, they're all such strong emotions, and I'd like to believe they're much stronger than anything. But anger? The anger those men had because I was simply... Better? That's why I was never truly 'welcomed'." A sigh left my lips, it was deliberate as I began messing with my hands again, subconsciously.

He noticed.

"That and because of my files, if u even want to call the not even a half piece of paper a record," I said, an annoyed laugh leaving my lips at the thought of the men on my previous task force.

Ghost kept his eyes trained on me, he finished his tea ages ago, setting the empty mug down on the counter. His arms crossed across his chest.

"Sounds like you worked with a lot of insecure men," he said, the annoyance was clear in his gruff voice. My eyes flickered to his larger frame, and I crossed my arms over my chest, subconsciously mirroring his body language. It was something I usually did, mirroring people around me, their personalities, and emotions. It was subconscious and awfully habitual, I never knew about said habit until one of my previous task force partners mentioned it.

He noticed.

"You have no idea.." i said softly, shaking my head and attempting to shake the thoughts in the process as my eyes flickered throughout the room.

___________

"You're always doing that and it's infuriating."

"Doing what?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing, matching his expression.

"There you go again," he said, pulling all of his weight onto one leg, and I, of course, did the same without thinking.

"You're always mirroring the people around you, Siren." I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"No, I'm not-" I retorted but he was quick to point out our identical stances, expressions, and motions.

"It's terrible, I can never can read you, none of us can ever truly figure you out because you're always doing that." He said, and for once my face dropped.

___________

Maybe it was an act of self-preservation, holding my walls high was my only attempt at keeping my emotions, and my feelings at bay. Mirroring other people's feelings, personalities kept mine safe, harbored away. Six feet into the cold dark earth. I felt his gaze on me as I stood silently, the quiet, the darkness all eating away at me but not nearly as much as my thoughts did. Pushing them down, my feelings, and expressions I turned back to him. But of course, he was already looking at me. I wondered if he ever blinked, if he ever wore an expression under his taunting skull mask.

I wondered if the man who so closely resembled death wore a frown, a smile. I wondered if he too had his own acts of self-preservation. His cold demeanor already being one of them, but he was hidden behind his own mask, except his was physical instead of mental. I sighed softly, leaving the hard counter before wrapping my arms around my torso. My eyes flickered to the clock, it read 5:36 am.

The daunting red light shined brightly, illuminating the room just like how it did my bedroom. I was familiar with the color red, the only color I really was familiar with. The splatter, the splotches that often stained my uniform. The hot crimson liquid somehow was more comforting and warm than any 'home' I've ever had. It was the one thing I really knew, killing. My hundreds of kills lined up and stained, soaked into my hands that weren't even close to being clean. My eyes snapped to my hands as I looked at them my eyebrows furrowed once more as my lips were pulled tight into a line.

He noticed.

I was anything but a saint, with no halo over my head. A large warning sign would suffice. My rifle was on my back instead of a pair of soft white wings. No amount of scrubbing of my skin, the skin that was caked in dirt, grime, and the comforting crimson could remove my sins, the horrific acts I've committed. I felt bile slightly rise to my throat.

He noticed.

"When is the briefing?" I asked, breaking the silence. My face felt hot and I heard my heartbeat and a familiar static in my ears as I refused to turn and meet his gaze. His eyes stayed on me.

"07:00," He said, his voice lower than before, his arms still tightly crossed across his chest.

I nodded, running my hand through my hair before sighing softly. My walls bricked up as high as they could go as I rebuilt the foundation.

"I'll see you then, LT," I said before turning and giving him a quick nod. He returned it.

"See you then, Siren." He said, and I turned. My hands shakily balled before returning back to my sides as I exited the kitchen and b-lined to the showering facilities.

He noticed.

________

{Authors note:}

EEEE, I'm so excited to be writing this. I'm just so in love with Simon that it's not even funny. I hope you guys enjoyed this. It was really just a filler chapter and I wanted to make sure to start the next chapter off with the mission instead of just adding it here! Im going to start working on the chapter tomorrow! As always leave suggestions, comments, anything! I love hearing feedback.

[ssirenphony]

Tainted - Simon Ghost Riley x Female Reader

'Newest Addition' - Chapter 1.

Brief backstory:

Siren is a younger addition to the 141 task force as you transferred from your last job working as a specially skilled sniper in a hostage control unit for the United States Military after transferring there from Kazan, Russia. Your stealth and skill range from knife work to excellent gunmanship as you're a top necessity in the field. Your files are bare, leaving not much knowledge of the 141 unit as you join. The only information available is your expertise in combat and guns as well as your age and code name. Your real name is not available as you are truly a mystery to the new group. You are a determined fighter, Your quiet and cold calculating demeanor is held like a wall protecting yourself from vulnerability as you're getting used to the atmosphere of a new unit. This caught the eye of an infamous skull-masked man as he realizes he can't read you, his interest has peeked at the new addition to the force and he's determined to find out more about the mystery woman and why you are somehow even more low profile than him.

------------------------------

{Word count: 3,868}

warnings: none

The air was humid, causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance as I run my hand over my forehead to pull back the baby hairs that stuck to me with sweat. I checked the mag of my gun, smirking softly as I clicked the rounds into place and peered through the scope of my assault rifle, aiming for the targets. My hostage unit informed me of my transfer just that morning, I stood just outside my forces' desert base at the shooting range built for training, waiting for the arrival of my new captain. The sun's hot rays shined down on me, the heat was relentless as I exhaled and aimed at the targets. My form was perfect as I started firing, my moves calculated as I walked down the row one foot in front of the other to effectively send bullets flying into the heads of all of the dummies. Once I emptied my gun I released my hand from the trigger, setting the gun down before turning around to face my superior and a taller man as I heard them arrive, taking in his appearance. He looked older, with a bucket hat on his head and he had a confident stance. My eyes flicked between the two and I crossed my arms slightly, my black war paint was smeared around my eyes as sweat rolled down my face. I leaned on my right leg, my tan uniform pants shifting with a rustle and my tighter black uniform shirt hugged my hot skin.

I took in his outfit, the double layering of pants and a long sleeve as well as the stacks of tactical gear he wore. I took a few steps towards him and he offered me a hand to shake.

"Captain Price is here to transfer you to the 141 base." My previous superior spoke and I nodded, shaking Price's hand.

"Siren," I said with a nod before releasing his hand, and he returned the eyebrow quirk.

"Just siren?" he asked, expecting something more.

"Just Siren." I said with a nod, my bag already placed outside of the door of the desert base. I went to retrieve it, throwing it over my shoulder before returning to stand in front of the two.

-------------------------------------------

It was only an hour or two before Captain Price and I reached the 141 base. I peered at the large but very well-concealed building before snapping off my seat belt and hopping down from the humvee. I followed Price as he motioned for the larger, thick door of the facility. I was grateful that the car ride wasn't uncomfortable, sharing jokes with Price lightened the atmosphere as he seemingly was nervous I was anxious but my face showed no trace of anxiety as we entered the building. My wall went back up, My face flat as I peered around and took in every detail I could, I cursed myself mentally for not fixing my war paint knowing it was smudged and more than likely looked rather messy but after all, I'm a soldier and that's the least of my concerns.

"This is the hallway to the main corridors, most of the others spend their time here when we're not out on a mission." He said motioning for the common room, three large couches all faced a larger tv, and a table was centered between the seats. I took in the room and nodded.

"You have a rather nice facility here, Captain," I said approvingly of the decor, it was way nicer than my previous base and I enjoyed it even though I would've been fine with just the basics, I was still grateful.

"We try to keep it cozy here, Siren. Missions are hard, it's enjoyable to come back and relax" He said as he motioned me through another hallway to show where the kitchen was as well as the bathrooms and shower facilities. I stayed quiet besides small words of appreciation for the base as we walked. I took in the emptiness of the base, referring to the lack of the others on the force but brushed it off, sure I would meet my new team soon enough. Price showed me through the rooms and led me to mine and I gratefully walked inside and he stayed at the door as I set down my singular bag. The room was simple, just the way I liked it. The walls were white and the queen bed sat in the middle of the room against the wall, a nightstand on either side and a small table and chair sat in the corner with a bookshelf next to it. I ran my hand across the bed before walking back to Price. A small approving smile on my face as my wall faltered a bit. Feeling comfortable in his presence as he was my superior but he also had a fatherly figure feel to him, he returned the smile.

"C'mon, let me take you to meet everyone." He said motioning with his head as he began walking down a hallway we haven't gone down yet, my eyes scanned the walls and the floor. Taking in the bright linoleum as my tan boots hit the hard floor rhythmically. My eyes landed on the walls to my left as they were now replaced with glass and I peered inside as we walked, admiring the large gym that was there. I took note of the large weights and the machines before my eyes landed on the group of men who surrounded a boxing ring. A small glint in my eyes as I felt excitement rush into my body. I followed Price inside the gym and he held the glass door open for me and I thanked him with a nod. My wall back up now as I walked beside Price to the other 141 members. He stopped just a few feet away from the ring, loudly announcing his arrival.

"Sorry to keep ya boys waiting." He said, the men turning to face him before their eyes landed on me. I took count of everyone there. I counted five men not counting Price and I examined them all, My eyes landed on a man to my left, he stood with a smile as a man with a mohawk leaned on him, his arm on his shoulder. The man spoke, giving me a courtesy nod as Price introduced him as Gaz. Gaz motioned to the man with the mohawk and introduced him.

"This is Soap," he said and Soap nodded, his eyes trained on mine, taking in my appearance rightfully. i was about to introduce myself before another voice spoke up. My gaze flickered to the somewhat muffled voice of a man wearing a mask, he was positioned in the ring, now leaning over the ropes.

"Keegan." He said shortly, offering me a nod as well before turning to peer at the man next to him in the ring. The much taller man stood next to him, his long cloth mask covering his face leaving only his piercing blue eyes to stare back at me. "this is Konig." Keegan said, introducing the man and I gave him a tight-lipped smile, it was polite just not nearly as nice as my usual smiles. Not wanting to drop my wall with them.

My eyes moved from Gaz and Soap to the man who towered over them as he walked over to join them, he wore a balaclava, his skull mask covering his face and my eyes locked onto his. Squinting slightly as my eyes met his and Price was quick to introduce him.

"That there is Ghost," he said and I kept my eyes on him, taking in his taller frame, he wasn't nearly as tall as Konig but his build stuck out to me. My attention was ripped away from him as Price introduced me.

"This is Siren, she's going to be joining the force, Her transfer was just finalized, and starting today she will be will us full-time for missions." He spoke clearly, and I turned to nod at the men as they all offered a quick,' it's nice to meet you' or 'we're happy to have you here' but I noticed that nothing came from Ghost, not even a word left his lips as he continued to watch me. I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning on my left leg.

Keegan spoke up, his eyes on mine. "We're just doing some sparring, care to join?" He asked, Extending the offer as Konig exited the ring, leaving just him. A glint was in my eyes as I took him up on his offer, Price patted my shoulder as i began walking. my stride strong as I made my way to the ring, taking his hand as he offered to pull me into the ring with him. He shook my hand, "Again, it is a pleasure to have you here, Siren." He said, His blue eyes meeting mine and I gave him a short response, it being the first time i spoke since meeting the others.

"Happy to be here," I said with a nod, releasing his hand before standing back. My eyes landed on the peculiar skull-masked man as he stood with his arms crossed just outside the ropes of the ring, his gaze on mine as he seemingly watched my body language. Konig took a place next to him and Price joined the others to watch Keegan and I spar. Gaz and Soap began speaking, hooting to everyone else outside the ring. "I place five on Siren!" Gaz said, his hand going in the air as he looked down the line and Price as well as Konig raised his hand as well, agreeing. "Yeah well, my money is on Keegan." Soap said peering at me and i rolled my eyes slightly in playful annoyance. I barely noticed as Ghost didn't place a bet.

"I don't doubt you, Siren, just let me see what you got," Soap said with a small chuckle at my antics as he grinned and it was hard to not mirror his. A slight smile crept onto my lips as I took my stance, just feet away from Keegan.

"I won't go easy on you, Siren." He said lowly, also taking his stance.

"Who said I liked it easy?" I asked with a small smirk, my eyes not leaving his. "Give me all you've got," I said, he quickly took that as the go-ahead and made his advance towards me, he was just inches away when he attempted to grab at my waist, i slipped my leg under him, hooking his and causing him to lose balance. He slipped and hit the harder flooring of the ring, quickly getting back up on his feet as i stepped back. My back was turned to the other men now and i could hear small hoots from who i recognized as Gaz and Soap.

"you got me there-" he admitted, making his way back over to me, throwing a punch and i blocked it, my hand grabbing his wrist and twisted his arm, mine wrapping around the back of his neck as I pulled him forward and down. My leg hooked around his neck, as i pulled myself up on his shoulders after knocking his left leg from under him, causing him to end up on his knees as my thighs were around his neck. My arm hooked under his chin as i pulled him backward. My back hit the cold ring floor as I kept him in a chokehold. He grunted, his hands grabbing at my arm as he attempted to claw at my grip with his fingers. His hips bucking, and I laughed lowly

A small smirk on my face, "Don't tell me you're done already, Keegan." I asked teasingly, squeezing my thighs tighter until I felt him tap my leg to tap out. I released my grip and let him slide off of me.

Ghost watched the sparring match with a keen eye, his arms still crossed over his chest. His gaze never wavered as i effortlessly took down Keegan, my movements fluid and calculated. He admired my skill, my confidence, and the way i controlled the situation. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, hidden behind the skull mask. As Keegan tapped out, Ghost stepped forward, his voice low and gravelly.

"Impressive, Siren. You certainly know how to handle yourself in a fight." He offered a nod of approval, acknowledging my prowess and i nodded back towards him after picking myself off the floor a smile on my face as my wall fell a bit. "I can see why Price brought you in." He then turned his attention to Keegan, extending a hand to help him up and I watched them interact.

i nodded towards him, "ya tsenyu tebya." I said, my mothers tongue rolling from my lips in a way of saying I appreciate him and his comment.

"Good effort, Keegan. Don't let it get to your head, though," Ghost said, his tone laced with a hint of amusement. "Siren's a force to be reckoned with."

Keegan grumbled, rubbing his neck. "Yeah, yeah, I'll remember that next time," he replied, shooting a playful glare at me. "You got lucky, Siren. Don't think this means I'll go easy on you next time."

I chuckled, a glint of mischief in my eyes. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Keegan. I thrive on a challenge."

The rest of the team gathered around, clapping me on the back and offering their congratulations. Gaz, always the joker, chimed in, "Looks like we've got another badass on our hands. Welcome to the team, Siren."

Soap grinned, his mohawk standing tall. "I can already tell we're gonna have a hell of a time with you around. Can't wait to see what else you've got up your sleeve."

Price, ever the mentor, placed a hand on my shoulder. "You've made quite the impression, Siren. Keep up the good work, and remember, we're a team. We've got your back."

Ghost remained silent, his eyes locked on me and i met his eyes, his masked face betraying nothing. He knew there was more to her than met the eye, and he looked forward to uncovering the layers beneath her tough exterior.

My wall went back up a bit after the hollering calmed down, my eyes met Ghosts as my expression was flat. I moved stray hairs from my face before hopping down from the ring. "I think I'm gonna shower, haven't taken a proper one in a hot minute." I said with a slight chuckle as my eyes left ghosts and returned to the others on the team.

"Alright, be sure to join us in the common room for dinner afterwards ya?" Soap asked, playfully slapping my arm and I nodded, smiling a bit.

"Ill be sure to join, see you guys in a bit." I said, my eyes landing back on ghosts before I turned to leave the gym. Following the hallway to my room and grabbing my toiletries as well as a pair of comfy sweats and a tank top before heading to the showering facilities. I walked inside, peering at all of the stalls before finding one that lacked a name, claiming it as my own before setting my clothes outside on the hook with a towel I grabbed from the basket. I quickly undressed and set my clothes down on the ledge outside the shower before going inside and arranging my soaps on the shelf inside the shower.

My shower wasn't the quickest as I relished in the warm temperature of the water, grateful for the heat and warmth it gave me as my previous base had only cold. I quickly got dressed and brushed my wet hair, letting it down and drying it with a towel before taking my dirty uniform and bringing it into my room, leaving it to wash for later as I made my way to the common room. I knew I was going the right direction, as I memorized the layout but I could smell the freshly made food from the kitchen as I could hear the booming laughter of the men as I approached the cozy living area.

I walked inside, my feet hitting the floor softly as I swayed into the room. Peering inside, Konig was the first to notice me and he patted the seat next to him on the couch as he was sitting alone. I gave him a small smile before taking a seat next to him. The couch directly in front of me sat, ghost who sat on the far left and soap who sat in the middle, gaz seated directly to his right. The couch to my left was empty as I assumed Price and Keegan were the ones making all of the commotion in the kitchen, preparing a meal for all of us.

Ghost glanced up as Siren entered the common room, a faint smile playing on his lips under his mask. He appreciated her punctuality and the way she carried herself with a mix of confidence and grace. As she took a seat next to Konig, Ghost leaned back against the couch, his eyes never straying far from her.

"About time you joined us, Siren," Ghost remarked, his voice low and tinged with a hint of amusement. "You sure took your sweet time in that shower."

I laughed, shaking my head as I brushed a stray hair from my face. "Well, Ghost, a proper shower is a luxury I don't take for granted. Can't rush perfection, can you?"

Gaz chimed in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oh, Siren, you've got Ghost wrapped around your little finger already. Making him wait like that."

Ghost shot Gaz a mock glare, his lips curling into a smirk. "Don't get any ideas, Gaz. I'm just observing."

Soap, the peacekeeper, chuckled and nudged Ghost playfully. "Leave the lad be, Ghost. We all know you've got an eye for detail." I listened intently to the banter, rolling my eyes with a huff as I looked at Konig who sat silently, our eyes met and I could tell he gave me a smile by the way his eyes squinted, I smiled back.

As the aroma of the meal wafted through the air, I perked up like Soap did, "Where's Price and Keegan? They better not be eating all the good stuff without us." He said, as he sat forward, his arms on his thighs.

Just seconds later, Price and Keegan emerged from the kitchen, carrying trays of steaming food. Price placed the trays on the table with a flourish. "Sorry to keep you all waiting, but I promise it's worth it. Dig in, lads and lass."

My eyes lit up as I surveyed the food, portions of pasta, and various meats on the platters as they were set on the table. I waited for everyone to get their servings before grabbing my own, smaller portion. Somewhat embarrassed to be eating in front of people I didn't really know too well. My wall being bricked back up piece by piece. My expression losing anything that hinted emotion as I sat quietly, listening to everyone else banter, taking small bites of my food.

Ghost noticed my withdrawn demeanor as i sat quietly, my eyes downcast.

He sensed a guardedness within her, a wall that she had built up to protect herself. Ghost understood the need for self-preservation, but he also knew the importance of camaraderie and trust within their team.

Though he didn't speak up, silently eyeing her as she ate.

Once I finished my food I was quick to grab the dishes from everyone and made my way to the kitchen with a small smile towards Soap as he offered to help but I declined. Wanting to feel useful and to get away for a moment as I was slightly overwhelmed. My walls bricked up high as i entered the kitchen. Starting to rinse them and making sure to put them in the respective cupboards when i finished.

I sighed softly, moving my now dry hair from my face before turning to exit the kitchen. The sun had surely set, the clock reading 9 pm. I turned not expecting to see Ghost standing behind me, his gaze unreadable.

"Just checking to see if you were alright," he said, his voice low and gruff.

I eyed him curiously, "Checking to see if I could handle rinsing off a couple of plates? LT. I assure you I'm more than capable." She said bluntly,

Ghost's expression remained stoic, his eyes fixed on Siren as she responded to his concern. He could sense her walls rising higher, her determination to maintain her independence and distance from the rest of the team. He understood her need to prove herself, to show that she was more than capable of handling the simplest of tasks.

"I never doubted your capabilities, Siren," Ghost replied, his voice steady and firm. "But sometimes, it's not about what you're capable of. It's about knowing that you don't have to face everything alone."

My eyes narrowed slightly, my guard still firmly in place. Ghost could see the flicker of defiance within me, the desire to prove myself in every way possible.

"I appreciate the concern, LT," I said, my voice laced with a hint of stubbornness. "But I'm used to handling things on my own. I don't need anyone checking up on me."

Ghost's eyes softened, a trace of understanding mingling with his unwavering determination. He took a step closer to Siren, his presence looming over her.

"I know you're used to being independent, Siren," Ghost said, his voice low and reassuring. "But we're a team now. We watch each other's backs. We don't let anyone shoulder the burdens alone."

My gaze wavered, a mix of emotions dancing within my eyes. I knew that Ghost was right, that i couldn't keep everyone at arm's length forever. And deep down, I longed for the sense of camaraderie, support, and understanding that came with being part of Task Force 141.

With a sigh, I relented, my walls slowly crumbling. I nodded, a hint of vulnerability in my voice as I spoke.

"You're right, Ghost," I admitted, my voice softer now. "I'm still adjusting to being part of a team. I appreciate your concern, and I'll try to be more open to it."

Ghost nodded, a small smile hidden beneath his mask. He recognized the progress, the small crack in Siren's defenses that allowed the light of trust to seep in.

"That's all I ask, Siren," Ghost said, his voice filled with reassurance. "We're here for you, all of us. And we'll be by your side, no matter what."

I offered a small, grateful smile. The weight of my walls felt lighter now but were still up, not ready to let the security down yet. Worried about what could happen if I was too vulnerable. With Ghost's words echoing in my mind, I walked past him. Turning to face him as I reached the door. 

"Goodnight Ghost," I said, my eyes locking with his for a moment

He nodded, "Goodnight, Siren." 

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author note:

I hope that you guys enjoyed the first chapterrrr! there's not much for me to say other than if u have suggestions to tell, this is a brand new story so I'm not sure what my reach will be but comments are appreciated. ily!

alsoo this was originally posted on my wattpad which is in my bio! I'm posting chapters there and here! hope u enjoy whats coming! I'm in the works of finishing the next chapter as we speak!!

[ssirenphony]

My Home (Ellie Williams x reader)

[ word count: 1,385]

'shorter than the last oneshot but I hope u still enjoy it!<3'

Chapter warnings; description of injury and tooth-rotting fluff<3

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y/n's pov

 The ride back to Jackson was slow and painful, with every trot on the uneven path the pain residing in my side began to worsen. I held my side, tenderly lifting my bloody shirt and checking the wound. There was a jagged cut on my side, my skin torn and swollen and emitting a warm feel to the light touches I placed around it. I winced as I pulled my shirt back down to cover it. Lacking medical supplies in my bag was the first mistake I made this morning, and another was leaving and going on patrol by myself. Even though this route is normally clear, I should've brought someone and maybe this wouldn't have happened. Finally, after some time the gates of Jackson were coming into view. Keeping my horse at a slow pace as we arrived to hopefully lessen my pain. We stopped at the entrance and I called up to the lookout.

"It's y/n, open the gate!" my throat was sore and my voice came out slightly hoarse. I clutched my side as my horse trotted into the gates of Jackson and they closed behind me. I was met with Joel who helped me down and maria who took my horse to the stables. I held onto Joel, depending on him to keep me upright.

"Woah, are you alright kiddo?" he asked each word laced with concern as he looked down at my hand clutching my side. Blood seeping through my shirt and smearing my jeans. "Not really.." I chuckled, causing me to cough. I looked up at him and then at a familiar voice calling my name.

Ellie

My face paled. Of course, I was happy to see my girlfriend but I knew she would be upset about me getting hurt. And sure enough, she was. "Oh my god, what happened to you!" she asked, coming over and taking Joel's place in holding me upright. Her arm wrapped around me and my arm swung over her shoulder. "I told you to be more careful on patrols! Especially by yourself-" I cut her off, "Can we just go home please..?" I said, my voice coming out only as an exhausted plea. Ellie's face softened and she adjusted her arm around me, getting a better grip so she could help me to our house. "Joel?" she asked, turning to him for his approval. He nodded and came over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder and giving me a small smile. "Take care of them," he said, his gruff voice sounding concerned for my wellbeing before he ruffled ellies hair and walked towards maria.

"Okay, let's get you home, babe," Ellie said, she held onto me tight enough to keep me standing but not too tight to hurt me. Giving me small words of praise as we approached the house. "Okay, ill set you down on the couch, and then ill run you a bath. Is that okay?" she asked, setting me down on the couch and cupping my cheek, and looking into my eyes softly. I nodded and leaned into her touch. Her warmth was enough to comfort me and make me forget about the pain that was harbored in my side. She gave me a small kiss on my forehead before hurrying to the bathroom and running the bathwater, she came out a few minutes later and helped me into the bathroom. Letting me lean on the sink while she untied my shoes and slipped off my socks. She then helped me with my jeans and then carefully slipped my shirt over my head, trying her best to avoid grazing it over my wound.

"Oh baby, what happened to you?" she whispered, peering at the jagged gash in my skin. A small stream of blood trickled down my side and I sighed. "The patrol route.." I started, not daring to look in her eyes as I continued. "- it's always clear. Always. And this one time I wasn't paying attention, there was a group of scars. I took out two of them but I got blindsided by one and they took a pretty good swing... And here we are." she gave me a small frown, tucking a piece of my hair behind my face. "Let's get you in the bath." I nodded, taking off my undergarments and then with the help of Ellie, getting into the water.

I sunk into the warm liquid and closed my eyes. a deep sigh escaped my lips that I didn't know I was holding in. it felt good, my worries for once were washed away as I just laid in the water. "Do you want me to wash your hair?" Ellie said, her soft gaze resting on my face waiting for an answer. I couldn't have asked for a more kind person to be my girlfriend. "Can you?" I asked, feeling embarrassed because I couldn't do it myself. "Of course, I can, let me help you sit up," she said, grabbing my hand and gently pulling me up. Putting her hand on the small of my back and lightly pulled my hair from my face.

She picked up the shampoo bottle and poured it into her palm and lathered the soap, starting at my roots and massaging my scalp. She helped me lay back down in the water to gently rinse my hair before conditioning. She smiled at me when she finished. She grabbed a washcloth and wet it before lathering it with soap and tenderly washing the dirt from my skin. The warm water washed over me, Ellie gently washed away the event that happened earlier from my body. It felt good to be home and in her presence, feeling her loving touch. When Ellie finished washing my body, she pulled the drain plug and helped me stand. Grabbing a towel and wrapping it lightly around my body, she grabbed another towel and gently dried my hair before helping me sit down. "I'll get you some clothes okay? Do you want one of my shirts?" she asked and I nodded. She smiled and went to grab some clothing for me to wear. I turned and looked in the mirror. My face was pale but I was cleaner than before. No more dirt and blood smeared across my face, my hair wasn't tangled and messy. I was clean, and I was home. Ellie came back and helped me into a pair of her boxers and a sports bra. Before grabbing gauze and alcohol from the bathroom cupboard.

"I'll take you to the infirmary tomorrow so we can get you stitched up. But for now, this will do," she said, peering up at me and grabbing and pouring the alcohol onto a cloth. She looked up at me again for my approval before gently cleaning my wound. I winced, My swollen skin throbbed. The pain was searing even from her tender touch. " I know babe, I know. I'm sorry. I'm almost done." she quickly cleaned the rest of my wound and wrapped gauze around my waist. "Thank you, Ellie..you didn't need to do this-" "of course I did, I'm supposed to help you and take care of you. I love you.." she said, her voice trailing off as she kissed my lips softly. Resting her forehead against mine.

"How about we get into bed? A nap would do you good," she said, I smiled softly at her and nodded. She helped me put her clean shirt she brought over my head and helped me up and over to our bed. She helped me get under the covers before she slipped her jeans off and crawled in next to me. She wrapped her arm around my waist as I laid my head on her chest. "I love you so much, Ellie," I said, drawing shapes with my index finger over her tattoo. "I love you more," she said, kissing my head and pulling me closer to her. The bed was warm and cozy, Ellies embrace comforting me as she held me close. At this moment, I knew Ellie was my home. My comforting place when I needed somewhere to be held and loved. And In this moment, I've never felt more at home.

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Even though angst is my fav i love this fluffy oneshot sm<333

requests are still open!!

[ssirenphony]

My Only Regrets (Ellie Williams x reader)

This one-shot was originally posted on my Wattpad account, if you're interested in going there my account is iyafae11 !! also I do requests so if you have any idea and or want a specific one-shot to be written, comment or message me!! I'm going to be posting my other one-shots that I already have written so stay tuned for those!! pls read the warnings below because these can be disturbing for some readers. stay safe!

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[word count: 4,035]

writing prompt: 'We had a fight and you left, and while you were gone you died and my last words to you were I hate you'

*chapter warnings! mentions of reader death, and extreme grief. literally, sm angst, arguing and su1cide*

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y/ns pov

"Why can't you listen to anything I say, it's like anything that comes out of my mouth completely goes over your head!" Ellie yelled, her voice echoing through the small house that we share. "Ellie fucking admit you're in love with her! I see the way she looks at you and you just let her!" I shout back, throwing my hands up in udder frustration. Ellie looks stunned for a moment, she never knew how I felt about her and Dinas' friendship until now. "oh my god.. you're that fucking selfish. you're jealous aren't you?" Ellie spat back, venom prevalent in her voice as she moved toward me. "what. jealous? is that what you fucking think? that I'm just jealous of you and... her.?" I say quietly, putting my hands over my face and exhaling as I turn around to face away from her, giving myself a second to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. I turn back around and face her. "Why do you let her touch you like that! I see the way she plays with your hair and the way her gaze is somehow always on your lips." I choke back my words, my eyes welled up as I continued to yell at her. She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off and stepped closer to her. "And you can sit here and lie to my face and deny it all! You're fucking in love with her. We've been together for four years, four fucking years Ellie! and you threw it away for HER." Ellie stepped closer to me with her arms tightly crossed over her chest. "What? am I not allowed to be friends with her because she's another girl? because you're fucking jealous?" "you know that's not what I fucking meant! you're not just friends, you both like each other, and it's obvious! You barely even come home anymore! you never eat dinner with me and you barely even look at me-" "Shut up, Y/n. Shut the fuckup-" 'I'm not going to shut the fuck up, you fucking lied to me and you fucking decided to go with her. after everything we've been through and you gave it up for her." I yelled at her, the tears that have been flooding my eyes had begun to fall as I looked toward Ellie in disgust. "I'm fucking done with you Ellie, you fucking broke my heart" I screamed at her, pointing at her with my index finger and stepping towards her. my finger almost touching her nose as I continued to scream at her. I watched as Ellie became filled with anger, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pulled into a tight frown. She was shaking as she looked into my eyes as I continued to yell before she interrupted me. "I'm fucking tired of this y/n! I don't fucking care. okay? I fucking like her and she makes me feel better than you ever have made me feel. I fucking hate you!" those four words made my heart drop.

I fucking hate you.

my throat felt hoarse and I choked back my tears. Ellie's face dropped as she looked at me. I wrapped my arms around myself and backed away from her. "you promised me.. you promised me-" I said with a hiccup, my salty tears streaming down my flushed face and over my chapped lips. "you promised me that she meant nothing to you. I trusted you... I was here for you... I did everything for you." Ellie tried moving closer to me but I backed up farther. "Y/n... I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I don't like her okay. I wasn't being serious, I didn't mean to say that. we're just friends, I told you that. Please I'm sorry." I backed up to the front door and grabbed my jacket off the rack and slipped it on quickly before struggling with my boots as I attempted to lace them back on. "Y/n stop. don't leave please I'm sorry.." "I don't want to hear it, Ellie.." I said with a sob, I finished lacing on my boots and swung my patrol backpack over my shoulder before reaching for the door handle. Ellie was quick to grab my hand and I quickly swatted her away and opened the front door, only to see a concerned face on the other side. Joel. He stood with his arm raised, seemingly about to knock on the door, he put his arm down. "Is everything alright?" He asked, I could only assume he heard the yelling and came out to check. He peered past me and looked at Ellie, who was avoiding eye contact and fidgeting with the hem of her jeans. My heart ached. Joel has always been there for me ever since I've made it to Jackson. He welcomed me and he helped me settle in, he helped me find a role in this town, and helped me make friends. I roughly wiped my tears and smiled sadly at him, "Everything is okay." I adjusted the strap of my backpack over my shoulder as it began to slip and I cleared my throat. "Are you sure kiddo? I heard you two yelling..-"

"Everything is fine."

I said, cutting him off. I didn't have the heart to tell him what was going on. I just wanted to get out of here. "I'm sorry I have to go-" I quickly said, pushing past him and walking away from the house as quickly as I could. i could hear Joel calling after me but I just kept walking. the cold breeze ran through my hair and I shivered, walking against the wind making my eyes prick with more tears after I tried so hard to stop. I followed the streets and the dim lights lining them until I made it to the front gates. the small patrol lookout window was glowing a pale orange, I assumed that it was caused by a lamp and I made my way up the ladder. I was met with two pairs of eyes, Anna and Jack who wore shocked expressions on their faces and they quickly moved away from each other. "relax, I'm not here to bust you guys or anything.." my voice trailed off as I thought over my wording. "I just need to go through the gates.. can you do that?" I asked. Peering at the two of them and my eyes landed on Jack. he cleared his throat before speaking, "I'm not really supposed to let anyone out right now-" " and you're also supposed to be up here alone. especially not sucking face with a girl while you're supposed to be on lookout duty." I said, my voice stern, and I watched as he moved uncomfortably. "fine if you can't let me out then ill just have to go to Tommy and Maria about how you're breaking clear town rules-" "okay! okay, fine ill let you out.. please don't tell them.." I grinned and made my way down the ladder. "be safe? I'm breaking a lot of rules letting you out of here.-" "I'll be fine." I said, now putting both straps over my shoulder and putting my hair out of my face. I watched as he quickly turned to me and sighed before opening the gate enough for me to slip through. before I could, he stopped me by putting his arm in front of me. "be back soon, it gets bright in a few hours and I really don't want to get in trouble." he said, his voice indicating his uneasiness about the situation. "relax. ill be back before anyone even notices I've been gone. if anyone asks, you saw me go to stay at a friend's house. got it?" he nodded and put his arm down to let me pass. I thanked him quickly and slipped through the gate and into the night. the sound of crickets and the occasional gust of wind made this world seem somewhat normal and it was quite calming. after discovering Jackson and being accepted into the community, I often forget what it's really like out there. there's never really infected close to home and the only encounters you really get are if you go on patrol. and even then it seems like there are not as many. I continued down the road and I followed the signs that I could recognize as my own. I usually took this route on days when I needed a break from everything and I'd even go here after patrols and search the shops and find small trinkets for Ellie on the way too... but not anymore. I couldn't believe that Ellie really chose her. I don't understand what is so special about that girl, after everything that Ellie and I have been through and after everything I've done for her I can't believe she would be so willing to throw it all away. the tears that were at bay began to trickle down my cheeks which were now pink because of the cold breeze. I pulled my hands up to cup them and zipped up my jacket. continuing my way towards the buildings that were just ahead. hoping to find a little warmth inside, the sky was clear and the moon was shining down on the streets. the overgrown brush and trees that took over the city always left me in awe. it was hard to imagine a life before all of this, being born into an apocalypse and this being all that you know. it's just bizarre to think that these streets used to be busy with people and cars rather than taken over once more by mother nature and animals like it was before civilization took it upon itself and made these cities. the cool breeze tickled my cheeks and my arms, even with a jacket the cold brushed up against me and make me somewhat regret leaving the warmth of home.

I thought for a moment,

can I even call it my home anymore?

with everything going on with Ellie and the way she looked at me, I felt like I had no choice but to leave. how could I stay in a house, a house that I once shared with a girl who completely betrayed me?

I fucking hate you.

those four words still taunting me as I walked further and further away from Jackson and deeper into the city. I approached a small building that was covered in vines, the sign was covered and so was the door. leading me to believe nobody has stepped foot into this building for years. I grabbed my pocket knife from my waist and quickly pulled down the vines from the sign and read.

'Val's convenience and shop'

perfect!

I grinned and began to cut the vines from the door. after removing the vines from the handle I quickly began working at the lock, I heard a click and I turned the handle. a loud creek was heard as I tried to open the door quickly without alerting any possible nearby infected, or people. I slipped inside and I shut the door behind me. turning on my flashlight and holding my gun up, I surveyed the room. there were two identical shelves on either side of the room. stocked with food and other things, medicine, and even a small clothing section. I cautiously walked down the first aisle, glancing at the various cans and boxed goods that had a thick layer of dust caked on top of them. I brushed the dust off a box of what appeared to be off-brand cereal. I smiled as I looked around more, plenty of food and supplies for months maybe even a year. it shocked me how this place was kept up and nobody came and raided it. it seemed simply too good to be true.

I continued my way down the aisle and then into the next, this aisle contained various medical supplies. mostly allergy and pain medication. small boxes of bandaids and a small amount of gauze. some antibacterial soaps and disinfectant items. I grabbed a few bottles of pain meds and some bandages and put them in my bag before continuing around the shop. I picked up a small stuffed animal that was laying on a shelf, seemingly where it didn't belong. I smiled softly, the small stuffed animal looking like a dog that I usually see back in Jackson. his owner, a sweet old man who brings me freshly baked bread and flowers he picks from his garden. he always told me how I reminded him of his daughter. I teared up remembering the man, deep down I want to go back but I know I shouldn't.

I can't look at her

I brushed the layer of dust off of the stuffed animal and set it neatly down on the shelf and wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. turning to continue down the aisle before I was pushed up against the shelf. the sudden blow to the back of my head from the shelf left my vision hazy and with the wind knocked out of me. I help my arm up against the infected's neck and used what strength I had to keep it away from me just long enough so I could grab my knife and impale its neck. I cried out as I sliced the infected upwards and pulled my knife out to throw another blow, this time landing on its forehead. I unwedged my knife and threw it off of me. I looked up quickly, the adrenaline in my body causing me to get into a stance as I watched a stalker race past the aisle.

'fuck fuck fuck fuck'

I grabbed my gun quickly from my back pocket, grabbing my flashlight quickly, and holding it up. shaking as I turned the corner and made my way down the aisle. I watched the stalker hide behind a shelf in front of me, I raised my gun and continued walking towards it. I watched as it walked out from behind the shelf and made its way toward me. I took a shot and hit it in the chest and then took another and hit its head. I let out a sigh of relief, keeping my gun raised I walked towards the body and lightly kicked it. my eyes shot to my left as a can fell off a shelf.

how many fucking things are in here? and how the fuck did they even get in?

I followed the noise and picked up the can and set it down to stop it from rolling. I heard shuffling next to me and I turned, raising my gun and then my light. only to be met with a set of teeth and flailing arms. the infected knocked the flashlight from my hands. I fired a shot out of instinct, missing and being thrown to the floor. I choked out a groan as I felt the infected land on top of me. its teeth bared and limbs erratic as it clawed and screamed.

not like this, not like this, please

I struggled as the weight of the infected held my arm down as I attempted to grab the gun. I reached, my body aching as I stretched my arm as far as I could. my fingertips grazing the cold metal. my only hope. the first thing I felt was the warmth, the searing heat that I felt on my arm. I could feel the grinding of the infected teeth in my flesh. I let out a cry, the infected being distracted by tearing open my arm gave me more room to reach for my gun. gripping it tightly and shooting it in the head. the shock hit me a few minutes later, I threw the body off of me and looked down at my arm. my blood running down my forearm and dripping onto the linoleum floor. I groaned as I pulled my arm to my chest and stumbled to the aisle with medical supplies and sat myself down on the ground. I grabbed a pack of gauze and quickly opened it. unrolling it shakily and dressing the bite. I choked back tears as I looked up at the shelf in front of me. the small stuffed animal dog sat and I couldn't help but let out a cry.

I wasn't going home, I wasn't going to be able to pet the dog one last time. or thank the old man for giving me fresh homemade bread and flowers. I wouldn't be able to go on patrol with Joel or hear his gruff voice in the mornings when he practically had to force me up for the day. I wouldn't be able to volunteer at the daycare and sit and draw with the kids who were always so happy to see me. I wouldn't get to go home anymore, I wouldn't be able to stand and pose in our small little house for Ellie so she can draw me for her sketchbook. I wouldn't get to be in her arms as we'd sit and she'd talk all about her favorite comics for hours or how much she loves to make little stickers to put on the lunch she packs for me when I go on patrols without her.

my sobs echoed throughout the small shop as I held the small stuffed animal and a notepad. my hands trembling as I weakly picked up a pen and wrote a note. a note full of my regrets on leaving Jackson. my regrets with Ellie and how much I love her and I'm sorry. how much I wish I could see her again and how much ill miss Joel. how much it's not her fault and I should've never left. and how much I don't blame her for anything. and how much I love her and I know she's happy with Dina. and how this shouldn't hold her back from being with her. I signed the paper with a little heart and ripped it off the notepad, writing 'Ellie' on the cover and folding it before laying it next to the dog stuffed animal I placed next to me. I sighed, I could feel a fever coming on. my wound causing my arm to ache.

the cold metal sat in my lap, safety off.

I knew what would happen eventually, I would turn into an infected and possibly harm someone. I couldn't think about that, what if someone from Jackson came to look for me? and they find this building and I hurt them? I couldn't live with that thought.

my hands trembled as I picked up my gun,

I didn't want things to end like this, hell I should've never even left Jackson. I raised my gun, the cold barrel resting on my temple. it felt soothing on my feverish skin, I glanced over toward the window that was covered in vines. the light peeked through and I felt good knowing someone would find me soon. I just hoped it wouldn't be her. I clamped my eyes shut and exhaled deeply before pulling the trigger.

Ellies pov

I heard the gunshots, we all did. there were several and with each one, my worrying intensified. I can't believe y/n just left. especially without telling someone where they were going. then there was another gunshot. a singular boom that caused birds to scatter and fly away and my heart to drop in my chest. I hoped to god it was just y/n shooting and they were okay rather than a random person out here. but at the same time, I just wished they'd never have to use their gun. Joel, Tommy, and I all set out to find y/n and bring them home. I regret a lot of what I said to them, I never wanted to leave them. Dina means everything to me but I could never be able to put into words how much more y/n means to me.

the three of us continued down the road and towards the gunshots, several buildings were in front of us, all taken over by vines and shrubs that encased the building. except one. one without vines covering the door, the one that lacked a lock and the sign was visible. "That's the only building that the door isn't covered," Tommy said, pointing over towards the convenience store. I nodded and Joel agreed. "We need to check it and make sure they aren't in trouble," I said, pulling my gun from the back of my pants and turning the safety off. "Okay, let's go," Joel replied, grabbing his gun and Tommy soon followed. Joel went first, then me and then Tommy as we all followed the road to the front of the shop. Joel grabbed the door handle and turned to the two of us for confirmation before he opened the door. I took the first aisle and Joel and Tommy split to take the others, I followed the aisle all the way down until I was met with the putrid smell of rotting flesh. an infected lay at my feet. a singular gunshot wound to the head and another to the chest. I covered my nose in disgust and turned my attention to the other aisle and that's when I heard Joel. "Ellie, don't come over here kiddo." I stopped for a second before hurrying over to where they are. the sight in front of me was enough to make me throw up, Joel stood next to y/ns body and Tommy stood directly in front of them. "Ellie..." Tommy started, tears running down my face as I walked towards their body. Tommy stood, blocking the way and I quickly pushed him out of the way. he grabbed my hand but I just brushed him off and collapsed in front of them. I grabbed their hand and squeezed it tightly. my head resting on their chest as I choked out a sob. "no no no no! I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." I sobbed, clutching their shirt and holding onto them tightly. "this should've never happened... I should've never let you leave." I pulled away from their chest and turned to Joel, who wore a frown and rubbed my back gently. I turned and peered to their side and I couldn't help but smile at the small dog stuffed animal that sat with a piece of paper on the floor. I knew what the paper was, I knew what it would say. I didn't know if I could physically get myself to read it, but I felt obligated to because of the cursive writing that sat on the cover.

Ellie

I'm so sorry Ellie, I'm sorry for leaving. I never wanted this to happen. I hope you weren't the one to find me, I didn't want you to see me like this. I know that we argued and I know that some things were said but I just wanted to say that I love you and I don't want you to blame yourself. this happened because I put my guard down. not because of you. I love you so much, please don't forget me. please take care of yourself and please tell Joel how much I love him. I'm going to miss you and your comic books. please take care of Joel and please don't stay stuck on me. you deserve to live your best life, especially if that means you're happy with her.

- y/n <3

a sob wracked my body, all of the air I had left in my lungs suddenly came out with one sharp breath. I hugged their body and sobbed. I don't know how long I stayed there, full of guilt and feeling an undeniable emptiness in my chest as I clutched my dead partner in my arms just praying that they'd come home safe so I can take back what I said. I don't hate you. I'm sorry.

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i hope u enjoyed and again, I do requests so get into contact with me if u have any!!