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starbats · 1 year
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k. look. being lumped into the same general age group does not indicate equal development at all points. do you think that the only change between a 14 and a 15 year old occurs on their birthday? read more of these articles than just the headline. genuinely.
and as someone with markedly more life experience at the time, you Did have a responsibility to watch your actions. i don’t think i’ve stated that i think i didn’t shoulder some responsibility— certainly not recently. And I have been in roughly the same position you were in, and made the same mistakes, or similar ones, and that is partly why I feel so strongly about it in the first place. and mistakes are human, humans are fallible, i get it.
but here is the real difference dumbass: i didn’t hound the people i inadvertently hurt afterwards. when they said they wanted, needed space, even when there was no expectation that they would EVER want to talk again, i listened and abided by their wishes. even when it was painful for me. that is something that you seem to be incapable of.
to your other issues with my precise wordage: art encompasses a broad scope of written AND handcrafted media. i certainly haven’t used the word ‘art’ in any recent (read: post within the last two years) description of your actions. you writing that you wanted me to tear you open and eat your heart was a ‘fantasy’ of yours. you wrote a lot worse, too. i’m also not publishing your rambling, self-aggrandizing asks because defunct as it is, this is still my blog and i get to choose what i put here? also because, if you didn’t know, when you block someone, tumblr deletes any asks they’ve sent you.
pet a cat, hug a tree, have fun. your life still seems to return to me again and again and you profess that you don’t want it to, but you’re still fuckin here aren’t you? show the messages and etc. you’ve sent me to a professional, or at the very least a trusted friend, and see what they have to say. see if any of this has been ‘healing’ for you. don’t make it my problem. i actually don’t care.
see u in two years.
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starbats · 1 year
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This. Is. Not. A. Dialogue. if there’s even a shred of decency in you, do not message me again, Sabi. I don’t know if you go by something else now, I assume so because of your insistence on a name that I no longer use, but I also don’t care to know, have not cared to know. You are the one who keeps coming back. I do not owe you anything— any type of explanation or rationale or contact.
Talk to a professional about this and let me get on with my own healing.
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starbats · 1 year
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i don’t know how to explain to you that there is still a massive developmental difference there you dipshit. stop messaging me.
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starbats · 3 years
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i also just think it’s really funny that you’re telling me to learn to set boundaries when again, i was a teenager and you were an adult, and i was trying to be kind to you because you repeatedly told me you were going to kill yourself and i was the only person in your life worth living for. oh man
i’m, not a stranger to memory problems but this is kinda why i said it was important to have some sort of record of events, even bad ones. i think probably you honestly believe this. learn to set boundaries and don’t contact me again ever on any platform whatsoever, maybe?
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starbats · 3 years
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heyya sabi. 
creepy fuckin stalker that u are it’s not particularly surprising that u wormed ur way back into my inbox, lol. i’m reading thru ur anon message and this is all just extremely rich considering u posted sexual and non-specifically sexual guro fantasies abt me to ur private while i was still a minor. also lest u forget u lied to literally everyone u were friends with in our shared circle abt having a dissociative disorder which caused me 2 misdiagnose my own symptoms and doubt myself like nobody’s business. 
plus the guilt-tripping if i didn’t stay awake at all hours with u. u were extremely dependent on me, again, a MINOR, for stuff that i was not prepared to deal with. i don’t believe you when you say that you’ll never read this because, quite honestly, you’ve claimed that you were gonna cut contact with me like 4 times now and u keep comin back w some real bullshit each time trying to make me feel like it was. somehow my fault that you were emotionally manipulative and abusive? 
i’d say i’m sorry that i wasn’t kinder to you, but i wish i’d been less kind than i was. you were awful to me. and i’m completely willing to let you exist in a space separate from mine, like i have been for the past what, two, three years? longer, even? it is not my fault that you don’t want to acknowledge your own bad behaviour. you, really wanna be a victim but every time we’ve had a one on one and i’ve actually stood my ground, you’ve acknowledged that you were abusive. and i can believe that you’re not an inherently abusive person, but your actions CERTAINLY were abusive. sorry. you can’t, get around that. i was a kid.
i sincerely hope you’ve changed but this message you sent me like two months ago, to this account, which i no longer use, sorta indicates otherwise. i guess i hope that it gave u closure? but again i sincerely doubt that it’ll stick, considering, u sent it at all.
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starbats · 4 years
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surely, that nagging ache will go away on its own. surely. if they can just pretend like nothing’s wrong, if they can just play at being ordinary – 
– but it’s too late for pretending, simon realizes with a growing horror, as their skin sloughs, drips, rips open to pull their flesh into sheets and strings stretched web-like between broken, jagged spurs of bone . . . .
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starbats · 4 years
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comin back after a couple months with a little art update – these are two cards i did for a TwitchRP fan tarot project! [link] 
Aster Maple (itsbrig on twitch.tv) for The Empress, and James Eldridge (izanamiirose on twitch.tv) for Death.
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starbats · 4 years
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Got carried away with a Lime drawing
His God is a ancient evil giant snake, so he really likes snakes!
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starbats · 4 years
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someone said “i have a story idea. humans can live forever but that’s a backdrop. three satellites gain sentience. they love football. this will fuck you up for years.” 
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starbats · 5 years
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i think i’d like non-binary labels better if they weren’t just all the most disgustingly corny shit ever concieved. like phrases inclusive of non-binary people are ALWAYS some shit like “attention ladies/gentlemen/PAL-LY-O’S!” or “one day you’ll get a boyfriend/girlfriend/special lil squishy person :3” or “hey dudes/dudettes/dude-illi-doo-dees” or “to all my kings, queens, and silly little royal friends…” like you know what. don’t ever refer to me as a non-binary person actually if that’s how it’s gonna be just call me dude it’s not that hard
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starbats · 5 years
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*gently places a small mushroom in your hand*
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starbats · 5 years
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hey guys if you ever feel bad about yourself just remember that you at least aren’t so much of a loser than you make an 11 hours 44 minute response video to someone saying they didnt like Joker
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starbats · 5 years
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this is only supposed to be viewed while listening to patsy cline’s  walkin’ after midnight
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starbats · 5 years
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Ah, it’s too late to post this on Halloween.  But here is a little story about ghosts, and roommates, and roommates who are ghosts.
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starbats · 5 years
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starbats · 5 years
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shout out to the Jehovah's Witness that very earnestly told me I "move like a man beset on all sides by demons" today
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starbats · 5 years
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“Well-met by moonlight, esteemed colleague,” the Ouhu trilled, stepping forward and grasping my hand between their razor-sharp claws with surprising care. “I am eager to begin our work together.”

revisiting an old au design, now their own character. this is Shrike! despite their pointy and mildly threatening appearance, they’re a researcher on an exploration into deep space which goes somewhat awry. and they have a crush …
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