starlovedscenario

[starlovedscenario]

[starlovedscenario]

TW// Self harm

Relapse.

Relapse. A word that

haunts me.

A word that brings guilt.

Brings shame.

It breaks promises. It makes

me a promise breaker.

The urge to do it, it's scary

Terrifying.

I don't wanna do it but why

did l?

It's never easy to be clean, I was.

The closed door keeps

knocking itself for me to

open it.

I didn't wanna open that

door but why did I open it?

I broke the promises I made

to my loved ones.

l'm ashamed, l'm guilty.

Yet it feels good. The release

feels good.

It's bad I know it but it feels

good.

I wanna say sorry but do I

deserve forgiveness?

I didn't open thar door for 10

months. Why now?

Thought I put it behind me

Turns out I didn't.

Oh honey. I hate you. Please

go away.

Relapse, I beg you to leave

me.

Please don't knock the

closed door again. Please.

- starlovedscenario.

[starlovedscenario]

End of beginning innit?

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No but Conan gets it.

[starlovedscenario]

Oh hey! So tomorrow's the last day huh? Last day together and after that I don't even know if I'll ever meet you again. It's weird how I didn't know you this same time last year but hello 1 year later you're the only one that I could ever think about. You're the only thought, my beautiful thought. You have the most prettiest smile I've ever seen in my entire 19 years of my life. The stars in your eyes, those sexy fingers of yours, your cutest ruffly hair, your silky voice, your professionalism in anything you do, your leadership, your politeness, your care, our hi and byes every time we cross eachother, the cheeky smile you give me whenever you catch me looking at you, ugh! I'm gonna miss it all. I'm gonna miss you. I know that you know that I like you. I know you see the way I look at you. I'm sorry that I could never confess my love to you but trust me my eyes always did and you felt it too. You were the only motivation for me to get up every day from my bed and go to uni. What am I gonna do now without you there anymore? I guess I'll have to survive and live like everything is normal. Yeah I'll have to do that. But it won't be the same for you. You have your life in front of you. Lots and lots of opportunities ahead and you have to try everything that you love. You won't miss me and that's okay cause I was the one who fell in love with you. I wish you all the best and I pray that you get all the love and happiness you deserve cause you deserve more than this world and you mean more than the world to me. Please be you wherever you go and don't stop making positive impact on whoever you meet. God bless you and thank you so much for coming into my life and brightening it. You'll always have a special place in my heart. Though our time together was just 10 months, I'm happy that I got to meet you and fall in love with you. You're the most amazing person I've met. I wanna be you when I grow up. I love you, my 10 months love <3

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Not me realising that the "crush" I had on my best friend over a year ago was actually my attachment issues 💀 like this is so embarrassing 🤡

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being a writer is so embarrassing sometimes like awww no my feelings got hurt guess i'll go make up 90,000 words about it. ugh

[starlovedscenario]

Crazy how much I want him when he doesn't even look at me. In the midst of everyone my eyes search only for you and when it finds you it doesn't wanna look around anymore. Why is it that you have to like her, when I'm here longing fir one hug from you. Why can't you just look at me? One look is all I'm asking. I swear people would be jealous of you when they see the way I look at you. I never in my life imagined me saying this about a man. I've know you for 6 months and that's it. What have you done to me? How's this fair that I'm longing only for you whom I know only for 6 months? I've always thought friends to lovers is more practical kinda love but what's this? I wanna get you flowers. I want to give you sweater on the 3rd of December. I wanna plant kisses on that forehead of yours. I wanna do your beautiful curly hair. I wanna spoil you. I just wanna be yours.

[starlovedscenario]

Having Best friends is fun until one of them catch feelings for the other 💀

[starlovedscenario]

I didn't wanna think about you. I didn't wanna care about you. But I always think, care and i always wait to see you. Thoughts of you fill my head and I can't sleep at night. I wonder if it's the same for you. Maybe it's not about me but someone else. But I don't care at all. I couldn't stop myself from falling for you nor will I stop now. I wanna be yours but I know that will never happen but that's okay. As long as I'm by your side, I can silently be in love with you and cheer for you. I love you. I truly love you <3

[starlovedscenario]

Never thought I'd say this. 1 year ago I started having feelings for you. Yes the same time when you stopped talking to me, the same time you started avoiding me. The same time you started liking her. The same time you started treating me like shit. Though I wanted to ignore the fact that I started seeing you as more than a friend, I couldn't. I tried to avoid and get rid of my feelings but it only grew stronger with time. I smiled when I saw you smile. I cried when I saw you cry. Had to see you from a distance and be okay. Couldn't even ask someone when you weren't there. Suffered alone with everything that I felt. Love for you; hate for you; feeling unwanted by you; everything all at once with nobody to talk to.

But here I am. After a year, I'm able to say that I'm fucking over my feelings for you. Thank you for making me realize that I'm worth way more than what you treated me. I still love you but only as a friend.

[starlovedscenario]

Starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights. ✰

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I didn't wanna think about you. I didn't wanna care about you. But I always think, care and i always wait to see you. Thoughts of you fill my head and I can't sleep at night. I wonder if it's the same for you. Maybe it's not about me but someone else. But I don't care at all. I couldn't stop myself from falling for you nor will I stop now. I wanna be yours but I know that will never happen but that's okay. As long as I'm by your side, I can silently be in love with you and cheer for you. I love you. I truly love you <3

[starlovedscenario]

I am going to be honest with you, Chief. I don't like Itadori Yuuji, but I love Megumi. 🧚‍♀️🥺

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The often you question yourself about certain things, the often you get the right answers from those around you even if it is the answer you don't want.

I swear to god catching feelings for your bsf is hard.

[starlovedscenario]

Having Best friends is fun until one of them catch feelings for the other 💀