starsinmysoul

[starsinmysoul]

out run the sun

go to sleep before the sun catches up with you

rest and be blissfully unaware as it overtakes you

awaken to bask in its wake before it turns the corner

ready to lap you once more

-i

[starsinmysoul]

untitled

if the sun went out

i'd light candles

just to see your face again

-i

(dedicated to my beloved)

[starsinmysoul]

boy saviour

well you've gone and fucked it up now haven't you?

you just had to play the saviour

and overstepped

they'll hate you for it

you can't risk overstepping again

ostracize yourself.

throw yourself into the inevitable downward spiral you've been fighting

youre long past teetering on the edge now

you might as well lean into it

the madness

the numbness

the brief pain amongst the emptiness of it all

breathe the poison

draw the stars

scrutinize every word, action and lack there of

burn different colours as your soul is torn apart

leave nothing but ash

to be swept away

and disposed of

-i

[starsinmysoul]

update on this,

i let her read it, the response wasn't anything i didn't already know. they're practically my favourite human being, my best friend.

it hasn't changed anything, the weight of keeping it a secret is off. kinda stings having what i knew confirmed but hey, at least it wont change anything.

i love you, always will. i'm sorry i can't provide for you my love.

that's all for now,

-i

a love letter i'll never send

hey,

so i've been thinking,

day and night actually,

about you;

the things you say,

the things you do,

the way you say them,

the way you do them,

and just how you are.

i think about the way you think,

and about how you might perceive me,

in everyday,

and night,

in all lighting,

and none.

i think about this because i already know my side.

i know how you look everyday, and night,

i know how you look in all lighting, and none.

you catch me staring sometimes,

i panic and look away as you chuckle to yourself.

it makes me wonder if you know.

do you know?

do you know that when you talk,

everything else fades into the background?

that your voice is my favourite sound?

do you know that in all lighting,

especially sunlight,

you glow like the rarest bioluminescent lichen

in the darkest, most mystical, magic forest?

that even in the dark, your presence puts my clamouring mind to rest?

i think i should probably just spit it out,

if you hadn't gathered by now,

i'm writing to confess.

i like you significantly more than anyone else,

in a "i want to be yours" kind of way.

if you so wish i will be by your side

for the rest of our lives

through all ups and downs

the universe has in store for us.

i will take your hand as you take mine,

and we can go any way you want.

i'd follow you anywhere,

no matter the direction,

no matter the distance.

for you,

i would walk till my shoes are worn and threadbare.

for you,

i would lay down my jacket,

like my life,

if it meant you could cross that puddle unaffected.

for you,

i would lasso the stars.

i would shape the clouds.

i would blow the cool breeze on a warm summers day.

you name it.

anything,

anywhere,

any time.

you will always be worth it.

should you let me.

equally,

should you wish the opposite,

i can do that too.

i would choose you over us.

i'm yours if you'll have me.

love from,

icarus

[starsinmysoul]

boy

today a small boy

will sit on cold tiles

resting his head on crossed arms

supported by his knees

hugged closely to his chest

rising shallowly and slow

tears stain his cheeks and

collect on his chin before

dropping into his lap

he sometimes wipes his eyes and nose

with the sleeve of his

threadbare, tattered, hand-me-down jumper

a gift from his father

the boy is sniffling but calm

he feels nothing for he is not

present as of right now

his glassy eyes continue to water

each tear spilling over onto

his blank expression

hugging his bare bruised knees closer,

he shivers

a holey jumper and boxer shorts

dont offer much protection

from the cool tiles and chilling draught

hours pass,

no one is coming for the boy

the dark envelopes him and

the cold leaks into his skin

no one is looking for the boy

for no one knows he is lost

the boy himself is unaware

it's a mundane kind of misery

a kind where nothing seems to change

but the reality is

this boy is gone and might never return

an empty shell of his being remains

sentenced to a life of automation

and unwavering routine

-i

[starsinmysoul]

Hope you are doing well ✨

i'm surviving, and for that i should give myself more credit. anyone who's also barely hanging on, i'm proud of you and you're doing great, cut yourself some slack, it'll get easier.

-i

[starsinmysoul]

a love letter i'll never send

hey,

so i've been thinking,

day and night actually,

about you;

the things you say,

the things you do,

the way you say them,

the way you do them,

and just how you are.

i think about the way you think,

and about how you might perceive me,

in everyday,

and night,

in all lighting,

and none.

i think about this because i already know my side.

i know how you look everyday, and night,

i know how you look in all lighting, and none.

you catch me staring sometimes,

i panic and look away as you chuckle to yourself.

it makes me wonder if you know.

do you know?

do you know that when you talk,

everything else fades into the background?

that your voice is my favourite sound?

do you know that in all lighting,

especially sunlight,

you glow like the rarest bioluminescent lichen

in the darkest, most mystical, magic forest?

that even in the dark, your presence puts my clamouring mind to rest?

i think i should probably just spit it out,

if you hadn't gathered by now,

i'm writing to confess.

i like you significantly more than anyone else,

in a "i want to be yours" kind of way.

if you so wish i will be by your side

for the rest of our lives

through all ups and downs

the universe has in store for us.

i will take your hand as you take mine,

and we can go any way you want.

i'd follow you anywhere,

no matter the direction,

no matter the distance.

for you,

i would walk till my shoes are worn and threadbare.

for you,

i would lay down my jacket,

like my life,

if it meant you could cross that puddle unaffected.

for you,

i would lasso the stars.

i would shape the clouds.

i would blow the cool breeze on a warm summers day.

you name it.

anything,

anywhere,

any time.

you will always be worth it.

should you let me.

equally,

should you wish the opposite,

i can do that too.

i would choose you over us.

i'm yours if you'll have me.

love from,

icarus

[starsinmysoul]

oasis

the sun coats the shore

like a honey glazing

soft waves fold onto

the sand and pebbles

in slow succession

they leave small delicate

bubbles in the gaps

between the stones

the chorus of pops

and the sound of silky smooth water retreating

back into the arms of it's namesake

echo around the otherwise silent oasis

-i

(not sure if this one's done yet or not, it is for now but i might add onto it some day)

[starsinmysoul]

fool

i am such a fool

i let you convince me

that i have worth

hah.

i guess my gut was right

again.

time to retreat

sink back into

my shadow

invisible

onlooker

envy-ridden

that is how it should be

it hurts less

than being right

-i

[starsinmysoul]

forgotten

perhaps it is bittersweet to be forgotten

untethered, free of the burdenous guilt

of knowing someone still mourns your death

but now, completely alone

not a soul knows your name

you'll soon forget it too

not a soul carries

the weight that is grieving the end of your story

little do they know, it wasn't the end

and here you are

alone

and cold

forgotten

but free

-i

[starsinmysoul]

oscar

you are old

growing weak with age

your fur is turning grey with every step

with every stretch

with every nap

i can see you fading

i pet you gently

i run my fingers delicately over your bones

i tell you i love you

but my words fall silent on your deaf ears

i think you know regardless

your outstretched paw grabs my hand

claws firm but not malicious

pulling me over

begging for my affection

i oblige, anything for you old man

-i

sleep well eternally oscar, i love you and i miss you already

[starsinmysoul]

reality

reality is slipping through my fingers

like a hydrophobic yet viscous liquid

slippery and thick, sliding uncontrollably

past my desperate grasp

-i

[starsinmysoul]

You good ?

that, my friend, is a complicated question

life has been hectic recently, literally starting a big move today so i haven't been posting much as of late but i have some things to share once i get settled.

as for the poetry itself, most of it is based on difficult aspects of my life and how i'm feeling.

sad poetry is easier to write than happy so the majority tends to fall in the same depressing category. but i'll be ok eventually, it'll all be ok.

so long answer short, not really but i'm getting there

(thank you for asking)

[starsinmysoul]

-i

[starsinmysoul]

love hungry mongrel

love hungry mongrel

you crave a morsel of affection

a crumb of comfort

a slither of soft warm touch

you yearn to be held

rubbing your ears raw

on concrete corners

cast out in the cold

your bones chatter

and your teeth shake

you envy those around you

the ones who are cradled

they have it all

you wish you had what they have

-i

[starsinmysoul]

melancholic mind

it's quiet in my mind

melancholic and calm

the waters

are lapping softly

on the shores

the waves

are no more than ripples

on the surface of my thoughts

a sombre navy blue

moonlight hits it gently

highlighting the peaks

and enveloping

my tired limp body

it coats my pale cheeks

and blue lips

it caresses

my collarbones

and ribs

the touch of moonlight

reminds me of you

it is so delicate

and careful

-i

[starsinmysoul]

-i