storiesbymoony - Tumblr blog

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#in pain

ok one more thing bc I've thought for the longest time that this scene is will coming to terms with his sexuality, but this line just makes it all the more real and so much more painful. cause in the back of his mind, will had known for a long time that he wasn't like his other friends, he knew there was something about himself that was different but he didn't quite know what. throughout all of season three he feels left out and abandoned and he gets more and more upset and confused by his own emotions every time mike ditches him for el. and then mike "I never think before I speak" wheeler says, "it's not my fault you don't like girls." and it hits will like wet cement. all at once he understands why he's different and what his feelings for mike mean. all at once he understands, and he hates himself for it.

[storiesbymoony]

I want moots on here 👉👈 ,, umm my top ships and fandoms are byler, steddie, wolfstar, and the marauders. I'm into marvel too but it's not a hyperfixation atm lol

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tsoa fans acting like achilles would call patroclus "pat" as if the way that achilles said his full name wasn't one of the first things that made patroclus fall for him in the first place. y'all are.COWARDS

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yes I annotate my books, yes I am very scholarly and academic and mature !

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about 85% of why I want to be a film major is so that I can someday execute my vision of a seven season series of the marauders and have in season five a montage of sirius going totally emo, like painting his nails black, putting on eyeliner, donning his leather jacket, slipping on a ton of edgy rings, and lacing up his doc martens - to the song Paint It, Black.

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cw: mentions of child abuse and trauma.

The first week at Hogwarts, Sirius Black couldn't sleep. Could barely even close his eyes. Because every time the world darkened and his body threatened to pull him into unconsciousness, his mother's face, cruelly disappointed, emerged in the blackness, taunting Sirius and promising to beat him senseless, until Sirius jolted awake again, drenched in cold sweat.

After three days, Sirius gave up on sleep altogether. He spent the nights with his bed curtains drawn, translating the horrors in his head to pictures on paper. Sketching by weak wandlight. His mother's face didn't seem quite as daunting when Sirius was in control of what she looked like, and the gentle scratch of his quill on parchment dulled the shrill screams that echoed in his ears.

James assured Sirius that his mother couldn't hurt him here. Logically, Sirius knew he was right. But the fortress-like walls of Hogwarts hadn't deterred Sirius' mother from sending him an ear-splitting howler the first morning at school, screaming at him for not getting into Slytherin, with threats that silenced the entire great hall with their severity and left Sirius' face burning Iin shame.

Sirius knew his mother couldn't hurt him at Hogwarts, but that knowledge offered litte relief. Because he knew that she would not restrain herself as soon as Sirius returned to the Black Manor.

So Sirius didn't sleep. He spent his nights distracting himself, protecting himself from his mother's looming shadow that waited just on the edge of his consciousness.

But after a week of this, Sirius' efforts began to fail. Even with his eyes open, Sirius could see his mother in the folds of his curtains. His drawings couldn't hide the malice in her eyes.

So Sirius left his four-poster, fleeing the dorm on hurried toes. He escaped into the Gryffindor common room, where he found a scrawny boy in too-small pajamas, curled in in himself on the maroon sofa. Remus Lupin, who should have been sleeping in his four-poster in the same room that Sirius had just left.

Sirius stepped toward the boy. A floorboard creaked, and Remus's head snapped up. Sirius wasn't sure in the dim light, but it looked like he'd been crying.

Sirius offered an uneasy smile. Normally in a circumstance like this, he would flash a charming grin to win over everyone in the room. But Remus, Sirius had learned in the past week, seemed to be immune to Sirius's charms, scowling every time Sirius winked and rolling his eyes when he said something cheeky.

And anyway, here in the dark with just the two of them, it felt easier to drop his devil-may-care act.

Sirius cleared his throat, realizing that Remus was staring at him like a garden gnome who'd been spotted stealing an angry witch's cabbage.

Sirius took a hesitant step toward Remus, who flinched. Sirius's heart clenched. He knew how that felt.

Careful not to startle the kid, Sirius headed for the window instead, pulling the curtain back. Sickly moonlight spilled across the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Remus flinch, although this time he didn't understand why.

"Couldn't sleep?" Sirius asked, peering at the night sky. He wished he could find comfort in its vast beauty, but all he could see were the constellations with his relatives names, burning holes in the blackness, watching him even then.

Sirius shuddered, letting the curtain fall shut. He turned to Remus, who had visibly relaxed when Sirius had blocked out the sky.

Sirius frowned. "You don't like the stars either, huh?"

Remus met Sirius's eyes, his brow furrowed. "Er- yeah," Remus mumbled. "The stars."

Sirius nodded. Feeling confident he wouldn't send him running anymore, Sirius settled next to Remus on the couch. Remus stiffened, but didn't move to get up. Sirius sighed into the dark. Remus Lupin might be the the only person at Hogwarts who could possibly understand how he was feeling, and yet Sirius couldn't seem to gain a sliver of his trust.

"I haven't slept all week," Sirius tried again. For a long moment, Remus said nothing, and Sirius considered crawling back to the dorm, braving the nightmares. He hugged his knees to his chest. Merlin, he was tired.

Then Remus whispered, "I haven't either."

Sirius shot him a sideways glance. "Really?"

Remus nodded, staring blankly at a charred log in the fireplace. His lips twisted, pondering. Then, "nightmares?" A question.

Sirius let out a surprised breath. "Yeah," he said. He studied Remus's face. This close, he could see pinkish-white scars littering his face, common as his freckles. And, of course, the boy's biggest scar, the one Sirius had noticed the moment he met him. The one everyone had noticed. The one people whispered about in the halls. It stretched from above his left eyebrow to the edge of his opposite jaw. Bits of it looked not fully healed. Sirius could make out tiny stitches holding the skin together. Holding Remus's face together. He didn't want to think about who or what could do that to a child. But then, he guessed that his own experiences might not be far off.

Remus nodded, turning to meet Sirius's eyes. "Me, too," he said.

They laid there in understanding silence for a long time. When the room was just barely beginning to lighten, Sirius dozed off, his shoulder against Remus's. His mother didn't show.

[storiesbymoony]

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

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#this didn’t age well #idc eddie is ALIVE

Eddie: I have decided I want to be cremated

Steve: like when you die?

Eddie: no like whenever just surprise me

[storiesbymoony]

maturing is realizing that if you want to read a specific fanfic and you want it to be well-written then you're going to have to write it yourself

[storiesbymoony]

I know I rave about Steven a lot, but. Marc Spector. Marc Spector who, asked by Gods themselves if he's hurting, he answers yes, yes he's hurting, but his feelings don't matter next to a maniac he wants to protect the world from, and what harm he can cause to humanity.

Marc Spector who wanted to give Steven, a version of himself that he cares about tremendously, the normal, happy life he never got to live, and constantly promising he won't burden it by being there.

Marc Spector who lost his baby brother when he was just a child and suffered cruel, unjust, damaging abuse from his mother who made him feel responsible for it.

Marc Spector who kills only "the worst of the worst" and still, the guilt of that is so crushing that he remembers each and every one of them. Where they come from, their faces, in vivid detai, and only responds with " you try taking a life"

Marc Spector feeling so guilty over his brother that he pictures him in a room with other people he's killed.

Marc Spector who sobbed and mourned for his mother even after she emotionally and physically abused him and robbed him of self-esteem, self-worth, and joy.

Marc Spector, who was willing to sacrifice his relationship with Leyla, the one person in his life who ever made him feel heard and seen and like he belonged, who made him feel just a bit less alone, because the deity he sold his soul to wanted her as his replacement and he wanted to spare her the pain.

Marc Spector, who rejected a peaceful paradise in favour of dying with Steven.

Marc Spector, who had the man that was willing to eradicate millions of people for a self-righteous cause at his feet and could've landed the killing blow, and chose to give mercy instead.

Marc Spector.

[storiesbymoony]

remus is sirius’ moonage daydream and sirius is remus’ good old-fashioned lover boy

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remus lupin is explicitly stated as being kind, compassionate, and level-headed this narrative of him being a total and complete asshole pisses me off on a whole other level. he was full of self-hatred and i’m sorry but that means that man most definitely didn’t know that people were attracted to him in the slightest.

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good morning little gay people in my phone

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imagine peter’s pure joy when james chose him as secret keeper, he had briefly forgotten that he’d become the spy and was simply blinded by joy over the fact that james finally chose him over sirius or lily or remus. peter was finally the one that was special and was chosen by james to keep his entire family safe. he finally felt seen and special. now imagine the crashing guilt he felt when the joy died down, when he remembered that he would have to betray them, he was responsible for their upcoming death. finally, imagine him feeling so guilty and confused and just trying to do something that he sent a patronus. a small mouse scuttled around the floor of godric’s hollow whispering in a cracked voice ‘james i’m sorry’ over and over, each getting more hysterical. the mouse was running around james unconscious body, speaking to ears that could no longer hear, begging for a forgiveness that could never come

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headcanon where remus and sirius share books!! it started when sirius forgot to take his books to class so he asks to borrow remus' textbook. as sirius is rummaging through remus' book bag, he finds a book he gave to remus for christmas. he opens it and is amazed to find that remus has annotated nearly every page, writing down all of his thoughts about the characters, his predictions, and a million little sarcastic notes. sirius is in awe because in his family, writing in a book would be a death sentence. the black family books are pristine, cold, and stiff. and here remus is, writing in his book like it's his personal journal. it's exhilarating. discreetly, sirius asks to borrow the book. he stays up all night finishing it, more interested in remus' notes than the book itself because this is a glimpse inside remus' head he's never gotten before. these notes tell more about remus than any conversation they've ever had. sirius starts 'borrowing' remus' other books as well. or, he tells himself he's borrowing, but he's not really telling remus that he's taking his books. remus is furious that his favorite books keep going missing. eventually they turn up, though, and remus recognizes sirius' handwriting and doodles immediately. he doesn't say anything to sirius, just reads through all of the new annotations with a smile. at this point, it's common knowledge to all the marauders that sirius is the one stealing remus' books. james has been teasing sirius relentlessly for his sudden nerdy interest in reading. curious as to why he finds these books so interesting, james snatches one of remus' books from sirius' hands and tries to read it, but gives it back immediately, appalled that anyone would "ruin" a book by writing in it so much. remus and sirius share a smile.

anyways that was way longer than I thought it was going to be but I got carried away because I fucking love wolfstar

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eyy could you sort me

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no but just imagine, its 6th year and it's the morning after a full moon and sirius is cuddling with remus in his bed in the hospital wing and james walks in, oblivious because the curtains are drawn, and madam pomfrey sees him and tries to stop him because she's been keeping their relationship a secret for a while and james just scoffs and says cheerily, "come on, it's nothing I haven't seen before!" and then pulls the curtain back to see sirius curled against remus, both of them asleep, their hands entwined. and james, his royal clumsiness, shrieks and jumps backwards, knocking over a table and waking up his best friends, and whispers, "now that IS something I haven't seen before." and that's how james finds out about wolfstar