strangledsunchild

[strangledsunchild]

death should be a reward, not a punishment, my love. you deserve better.

I always envied the life of other people because mine is shit. I don't have friends, I don't have a partner because nobody wants me aka I am unlovable. I don't have anything that could make me happy. Death would be much easier.

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no my dear, no. there wont be endless suffering. i promise. i swear. talk to me. dont suffer.

But you all know that one day I will die by suicide. You all know deep down you just haven't accepted it yet. I wasn't made for this world of endless suffering.

[strangledsunchild]

payneland + shoulder holder

[strangledsunchild]

Hello 👋, I hope you're doing well..

My name is Mahmoud, and I'm a 17-year-old from Gaza. The ongoing war has devastated my city, destroyed my school, and made daily life incredibly challenging.

Despite these hardships, I'm determined to continue my education and build a better future. I've been given a chance to study abroad, but I need help to cover the costs of leaving Gaza, as well as living expenses and other essentials abroad once the crossing opens.. 🙏

If you can, please consider donating or sharing, your kindness can truly make a difference, and thanks for your time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/bd3ccf0b 🔗

guys i need you to share this as much as you can

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to the one who recommended the cemetery boys to me - why'd you hurt me like this? nO ONE TALKS ABOUT THEM WHYYY 😭😭😭😭 ive searched pinterest and ive searched tumblr and wow this is hurtful

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Edwin Payne is my favorite Disney princess

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catholics be like “don’t be horny kids” and then bombard you with images of half naked men tied up to things 

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Can’t believe 3 separate men wanted to fuck Edwin so bad they went and died about it. Lololol the cat king lost one of his 9 lives in an attempt to save Edwin. Monty had his chest clawed open before being transformed back into a crow - also because he was trying to save Edwin. Simon was so filled with repressed gay longing for Edwin that he attempted to ritually sacrifice him and got sucked into the pits of hell for it. Like Local Edwardian Ghost Boy so attractive he has a body count. 3 dead, more injured.

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I've seen a lot of talk about how hell affected Edwin's pain tolerance, but not very much breaking down how it seems to have affected the way he manages emotion. So to that end, here we go:

Edwin Payne vs emotions (and how his no good very bad helltime messed with him something awful)

Dead Boy Detectives does a very good job early on of establishing the fact that Edwin is not particularly good with people. He's stilted, he's repressed, and though he can be incredibly kind to the people he cares about, he can also be quite abrasive, particularly to those he doesn't know well.

Time and time again, we see Charles step in to be the face man. Charles is the one to greet the clients, to take note of their names, to set them at ease. Charles is the one to support Crystal emotionally, and his interactions with Edwin seem to imply that he's done the same for Edwin, over the years. Charles has to remind Edwin to mind his bedside manner, and he explains to Crystal that Edwin forgets how to talk to people sometimes, because of how long he spent in hell.

In short, these boys compensate for each other's strengths and weaknesses in a lot of ways, and Charles is very much the one doing the emotional heavy lifting in this partnership.

And there's a reason for that, laid out in the text and subtext all throughout the show, and the narrative handles it brilliantly.

Edwin's actor does a fantastic job in expressing the character's reactions – or rather, lack of them. Because in the most shocking scenes throughout the show, Edwin often doesn't seem as horrified as the others in the face of events that ought to be horrific. In the Devlin house, he seems as though the murders scarcely affect him. When the jumper at the top of the lighthouse throws herself down, he's downright composed in comparison to everyone else.

And Edwin repeatedly shows or expresses that emotion makes him uncomfortable. When Crystal and Charles are fighting in episode five, he requests that they set their feelings aside until the case is finished. At the end of the episode, he says that the day has been entirely too full of emotions for his taste.

So, what is it specifically about emotion that bothers him so much?

In hell, emotion meant an awful, bloody death.

Panicking over potential incoming horrors? Nope, sorry, too loud. Dead again. Having a sobbing breakdown in a corner? Nope, sorry, too loud. Injured and trying to keep it down so it doesn't get worse? Nope, sorry, that's too loud, too.

Again and again, we see Edwin trying to tamp down on his emotions, but also, tellingly, trying to keep his emotions subdued and quiet.

When Charles finds him in hell, he's crying without making a single sound. When Esther starts to torture him in episode eight, he doesn't scream at first. He's trained himself out of making noise when something hurts or frightens him.

Of course he wants to set emotions aside until the case is done. He's spent seventy years learning what happens if you don't. You take care of business first. If, and only if, there's an after? That's when you let yourself feel.

Early on, when Edwin and Charles need to find the correct book but Edwin is unable to access their office due to the Cat King's bracelet, Edwin is upset. He's frustrated and out of sorts, blocked from making progress on the thing he knows he needs to be doing – hurting himself trying to get his arm through the mirror until Charles stops him. It's Charles who has to step in and help him calm down. It's Charles who has to remind him to breathe through what is very likely a panicked throwback to those times when if he could not solve his way out of a problem, it would very literally get him killed. In this scene, we get a brief glimpse of how Edwin looks when he starts to lose his grip on his rigid control.

And that's before we even get to these things:

Because as awful as the doll spider was, it wasn't the only thing skulking around the Doll House. Charles stumbles across misery wraiths when he goes to rescue Edwin from hell – and we know from the Devlin house episode that Edwin is extremely aware of what they do and how they operate. They were in his space, looking for despair to feed off during a time when he had it in spades.

Taken all together? It's an absolutely heartbreaking picture.

This boy seemed a little socially awkward before his death, from what we see of his time before hell. But afterward? He's had seventy long years of having to teach himself to regulate his own emotions, under pain of excruciating torture if he didn't do it well enough.

With an object lesson like that, over and over again, for literal decades, it's no wonder that Edwin has such a hard time navigating emotions and everything surrounding them.

[strangledsunchild]

edwin & charles + checking out each other

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enjoy some of my favourite stills from the series!

NEED SHOW RECS ❗️❗️

ive watched dbda almost thrice since it released, and i dont want to get over it bc of overwatching - soo, show recs? please make sure they are short only, i'm a student so i haven't got much free time and i would hate myself to be unable to watch a nine season with twenty episodes each series

and if there are any show recs almost properly like dbda, i dont mind as well 💌

any short book recs (novellas sort) would also work! im just basically looking for some major angst so - yea!

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just charles rowland looking at the love of his life his best mate

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For someone who definitely doesn't want to kiss the Cat King, you sure are looking at him like you'd devour him, ghost boy.

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monty actually is just a silly little guy. he got 5 days on earth and chose to spend them being gay, serving cunt, pining over a bitchy twink, and looking at the stars

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God if I think about Edwin Payne too much I lose my mind. No one saved him. No one reached out a hand. He had to save himself. He escaped hell with only his own two hands to carry him there. And what does he do with his freedom? He reaches out a hand to Charles. He reaches out a hand to every ghost he can help. He could have been bitter. He could have said No one’s coming to save you. Save yourself. Instead, he says, you’ll escape, and you won’t do it alone.

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I didn't believe it at first but after watching the show, Dead Boy Detectives was so obviously crafted to be catnip for the Tumblr girlies(gn), cause like. Homoerotic ghost detectives. Sassy psychics. Weird girls. Witches. A literal cat king. Sad twink that's actually a crow. Hot goth lesbian butchers. Slowburn ft. immortal beings. Gay confessions in hell. This show was crafted in a lab for us, and I LOVE IT. Go watch it if you haven't already.

[strangledsunchild]

"Of course you fell for a living girl."