stupidbpdb1tch

[stupidbpdb1tch]

[stupidbpdb1tch]

anyways my existence doesn’t matter and i hope i don’t fucking wake up.

[stupidbpdb1tch]

I know ppl are secretly tired of dealing with someone like me... I'm not blaming them... I've been tired and sick of myself for years...

[stupidbpdb1tch]

Dealing with an eating disorder is wild because why the hell do I think I'd get fat by eating more than 300kcals a day?

[stupidbpdb1tch]

Thanks BPD for not letting me have a day without feeling like I'm the biggest universe mistake

[stupidbpdb1tch]

This is exactly how I feel when someone forces me to eat.

[stupidbpdb1tch]

''therapy can help!''

nah i just lowkey kinda really wanna die, i don't think therapy can help w that lol

[stupidbpdb1tch]

"why aren't you open with me?" *flashbacks to every time I've done that* idk man I guess that's just how I am

[stupidbpdb1tch]

And then, I slowly watched people around me normalizing me being emotionally unstable and constantly inside the void

[stupidbpdb1tch]

[stupidbpdb1tch]

and when your first steps are on eggshells how are you ever supposed to be anything but fucked up.

[stupidbpdb1tch]

[stupidbpdb1tch]

Sometimes I try to say things like 'Take me back to the time when...'

And I get nothing... Like, I can't find a single moment in my life where I did feel genuinely good, happy or at least in peace.

[stupidbpdb1tch]

Always the one who listens, never the one who's listened

[stupidbpdb1tch]

I'm so tired of people, please leave me alone

[stupidbpdb1tch]

I will never romanticize my disorders because there's nothing remotely romantic about wanting to die 24/7

[stupidbpdb1tch]

Ppl see me all peaceful and calm, they don't know that my mind is thinking about different ways to kill myself 24/7