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[summerpoetica]

[summerpoetica]

LET’S HEAL

my physical wounds,

and marks on my heart

cry each day louder than yesterday

but you, you make them scream less.

my smile, my eyes

my art, my caress

doesn’t show how much hurt i am,

but with you, all of this feels the best.

me pretending to be happy,

me pretending to be stable

joins hand with

you actually making me normal.

the person in the mirror,

is not the same

the touch on my shoulder,

feels strange.

this “you”, is not a person

it’s a feeling.

feeling of touching the sunflowers in the garden, feeling of grabbing my art brushes and doing the most random strokes, feeling of dancing to the beats of my favourite song and simply being me.

feeling of cooking my special meal, sipping my coffee, slipping my legs into cold sheets, and watching my most treasured movie.

i wish this process never ends,

i wish my healing never ends.

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SCARED TO FALL

im scared to fall in love,

im scared to be the only one who falls

while the other one

just pretends.

im scared to invest my feelings

and get nothing in return.

im scared to get attached

while the other one

just pretends.

im scared to be vulnerable

and then get hurt

im scared to be available

while the other one

just pretends.

im scared that one day i would be nothing but ‘past’

im scared that one day i would turn boring

im scared that i’d never stop loving you

while you will just pretend.

:)

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sitting across the room,

staring each other

type of love.

crossing each other’s way,

turning back to look if they’re seeing us

type of love.

comfortable silences,

holding hands

type of love.

happiest when they’re around you,

one hundred percent yourself

type of love.

weird, goofy, immature

but also understanding and supportive

type of love.

unexpected hugs,

written letters

type of love.

going on adventures together,

exploring new things

type of love.

“this reminded me of you” texts,

buying flowers

type of love.

doing something just cuz you love it,

taking time out to learn things together

type of love.

spending time to actually know their love language,

instead of asking about it

type of love.

sharing music,

crazy dancing

type of love.

you n me

type of love.

[summerpoetica]

hi

hello

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9:30 in the morning

i opened my eyes,

i drew the curtains

and opened the window.

i squinched my eyes

from bright sunlight,

i hear chirping of the birds

as if they're calling for their mother

to quench their thirst.

i see the usual girl across my house,

still peacefully sleeping

i see a vendor

beautifully arranging his avocados,

so he could sell them and a make a living.

i go to the bathroom,

splash some water on my face,

brush my teeth,

and put a smile.

i make myself breakfast,

pour some orange juice

in a square shaped glass,

trying not to make a drop fall.

i cleaned the kitchen counter,

washed the dishes

gave rousy, my dog

his best meal of the day.

i tied up my blue shoes,

put on my favourite blue jacket

and took off

along with my umbrella.

i wonder how far this sky is,

and how cool this sunshine is

when it hit the leaves,

and fall on my face.

i saw the everyday jogger

and the same old lady sitting on a park bench,

chanting her spells

for a good day and a forever good life.

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let's take a pause and wander; aimlessly.

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observe your surroundings, they tell you the most about your environment.

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if your breath takes a pause for a sec, you know it's love.

if your words get jumble when you talk, you know it's love.

if your whole day goes into thinking what they are doing, you know it's love.

it's love when all you think about is them.

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sometimes you just gotta take a plane and go on an unplanned vacation.

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you can.

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TO A 16 YEAR OLD

hey,

I know you had a rough day,

I know you're having a rough life,

since 16.

you literally follow the pattern of

eat-sleep-repeat,

to forget any grief,

to ignore all pity.

you do all the stuff,

folding bedsheets, cleaning drawers,

to get no attention

as this was you, before teen.

you think taking a bath,

would solve everything,

removing the dirt, dust, and disgust

only if poor you could know, not from within you.

I have been observing you,

since you became a 16 year old

when you on your birthday, instead of blowing the candles,

came to lit one in front of your deity.

I have seen you changing clothes,

all over again and again

in some to look thinner,

and in some to look desirable.

I have seen you writing a dairy,

but I don't know what you write and don't wish to know,

but for a fact I know,

you scribble and tear it down every time you feel in vain.

you got your curtains blue,

and your walls cream

but each time you cry,

you make your head scream.

you go down from your room,

only to leave behind all of this for a couple of minutes

but as soon you have interaction,

you start hating yourself and your actions.

having shortness of breath and panic attacks

are your daily companions,

and come with all these people

who knowingly throw harsh words wrapped in a smile.

you don't love loud music,

but you still play it to the peak

so that you don't listen to outside noise

and your mum pretending to know a snippet of your life.

i'm not a stalker,

or your lover.

i'm your unknown

posies deliverer,

who lives across the street

and tries to make you at peace

with every note I leave.

-A

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you gotta make your day special on your own, 'cause no one else will sis.

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and he became her peace.

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life is a little less brutal with you.

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when they tell you to be a guy and don't cry, tell them to be a human and stop to interfere.

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nights always don't have to be dark.