survivor-of-removal

[survivor-of-removal]

Banging my head on the wall trying to stay awake so my proxy side can’t take over or so slenderman himself doesn’t come for a fucking visit and decide to take me home

[survivor-of-removal]

Hello followers and others interested in the Slenderverse or the such

There is a new video on the “Dark Seeker” channel. It’s the final entry. Around 2-3 weeks ago I joined Slenderman once again. I realised there’s no point running. I’m already marked. I think that’s why he kept me alive, because inside I still was a proxy after all these years.

It’s been a pleasure being The Runner DarkSeeker but now I am the Proxy DarkSeeker. I remain loyal to the Tall one and the Path of Black Leaves. Just remember, if you’re a runner, becoming a proxy is the best chance you have. Join us, come onto our Ark.

My new channel is linked here:

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCZlMjc-8xqmkWoZSP3J6hlw

On this channel I will posting my new videos. Long live the Tall One and may he lead us to the fourth paradise. He is my master and saviour, the corrector of humanities impurities. All hail the Tall One. I now have a linked account to Instagram (darkseeker00) where something big is going down. Hope to see you there... soon there should be a Tik Tok series starting to make sure you cling along

-Dark Seeker

[survivor-of-removal]

So I just got back from my usual walk... it was fine, getting pretty dark. I saw a girl wearing black with her hood up. She didn’t notice me at first so I carried on. On my way back I saw her walking on the other path next to me “it’s fenced off” she was dressed head to toe in black with her hood up and she was pale. It was like she didn’t want to be seen. Who wears their hood at dark? I mean probably a lot of people but it wasn’t raining or anything. When she came to the end of her path I thought she was going to stop following me but she did. She came up my side following me behind me. I picked up the pace. I got on the main road and decided to cross the road. She also crossed the road. I ran back home the rest of the way. Was she a proxy? Who was she? It was dark and I was at the woods and she just follows me! I think I’m just being paranoid but I kept on looking behind myself

[survivor-of-removal]

So me and my parents had a long conversation today. They want me to drop the whole slenderman thing: it’s ruined my life and all.

This is really frustrating. They say I want fresh starts over and over but fuck up each of them with slenderman. I should just forget about him and move on. The amount of times I’ve tried to do this only to fail. He always finds a way back. Mum and Dad, I wish I could tell you everything, show you he’s real and after me, but I can’t put them in danger. Also being a disturbed young man they would believe me anyway. I was right my mum doesn’t believe me. I wish I could tell them “I try fresh starts but he always messes them up” or when they ask me why I love slenderman so much. It’s the obsession, part of the sickness. I can’t help it! But they would never understand. They’re getting concerned because my family is growing concerned specially my siblings! They weren’t particularly happy to learn that. So what should I say? “I got the sickness I get from being stalked, I must research him or I will get withdrawal”? NO! If I said that they would let me rot even more here. I feel so isolated. As my friends disown me, my own family grows concerned, and the closer he gets the more fear I feel. I fucking hate you slenderman. God help me!!!

[survivor-of-removal]

Things are okay I guess. Better anyway. I’ve been to the woods multiple times looking for answers. Whenever I go I can hear twigs snapping and all that but he never exposes himself. I think he knows I want to see him and he’s using it to torment me. The truth is I’m just fed up of this light bullshit. Why can’t he come face to face with me. Why does he have to be gone when I look at him. Can’t he just stay so I can seek answers. The answer is no. He doesn’t want me to have answers he wants me to be clueless so he only shows glimpses. They’re getting clearer though. I’ve seen that cat after coming back from the woods, twice actually, it went behind a car and didn’t come out. I looked under the car but nothing was there. I don’t know if this was just me missing it run off or if it has some significance. I’ve turned my room into an office. I’m just so in need for answers. I spend a lot of time ordering takeaways and getting on with research. I’m starting college soon. I hope my fixation doesn’t mess it up

People around me are getting the sickness: coughing fits mainly. I hope they just have coughs. My obsession only grows stronger. Even my craft work has been dominated by the Dark King

[survivor-of-removal]

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I’ve just got as a matter of fact. I’m going back to the woods today. I feel his presence there. Wish me luck I’ll snap a photo if I can...

[survivor-of-removal]

As the days go on he gets clearer. At first it was just a tall shadow with a brief human silhouette. As the days go by it’s taking on stronger forms. I started seeing arms, legs. Earlier this evening I saw him standing, full body. Tall man with suit, no face. He was a little blurry too and he was only there for a split second but I think he’s getting stronger. I’m too scared to sleep tonight

[survivor-of-removal]

even today i can still that word in my head from those fuckers, weirdo, weirdo, gay, freak, cunt, mad, psycho, weirdo weirdo" if i just walked past on smiled at them politely or said hello they would have a go at me. i never understood why. At home i would go straight to my room, read creepypastas, cry my eyes out every night, bite myself on my arm, coming down for dinner, i would become irritable at the sound of my parents eating, i wouldn't even finish my dinner. Half the plate was there. Thinking back on it i feel so guilty and upset. My parents must have been agonized by all this, my isolating behaviour, my obsession with slender man. My mum knew of course. She showed me the something awful forum thread. i cried myself to sleep that night. i knew he was real, but no, to everyone else it was a meme. a stupid urban legend. i began to view him, the slender man, as the only person i had, the only one apart from a few people that i saw from time to time. when i wasn't around them things would go back to shit. Seeing them were the only lights in my life. and another lesson go and it would go back to the dirty looks and the insults and the shoving around and the making fun of me when i was trying to do my work. Or in the lunch queue, stupid year 11 girls coming up to me "Look at this boy man, he's so weird, hey tell this girl about that thing thats stalking you", "oh he believes in slender man", "he's a freak but kind of cute", "he's a fucking weirdo, a stupid loner". Depression kicked in, i would just bang my head against the wall until my eyes flashed in my head. i hated myself. Their words leaked into me. and all the time seeing that thing following me around. slender man, could he help me?

On Saturdays i started going to the woods, i wore a mask i made based to the marble hornets Masky mask, i would wear a black hoodie, black trousers and off id go to the woods, calling his name, asking him things. i saw him a few times, mainly i just spoke to him, a few people coming through the woods giving me Odd looks and such. People in the park staring at me as i made my way up to the woods in my mask. The mask was all i had. and it wasn't long until some two stupid kids asked me if i was possessed in the playground at the park on the edge of the woods thought it would be funny to push my off the swing and grab my mask. and ill never forget what they said:

"oh my god its Steven" my laughed tore up my mask and fucking ran off. pussies. The funniest part was i didn't even recognize them but surely enough when i went to school on Monday it spread like wildfire that i was apparently "stalking people in the woods with a creepy mask". and sure i was. in the name of slender man, because i thought he would be the only one to save me, the operator was my salvation.

i saw the rake once out the school cafeteria window and got freaked out, clearly i was attracting attention from their realm or whatever. i got more and more engrossed, every Saturday it was off to the woods on my bike, running past the cunts at the park, into the woods, stalking people. i started to get revelations, a deep monstrous voice as i did so. i knew who it was, it was him: the Slender man. apparently i was training. What for i didn't know, i began getting manic episodes even at school which of course Didn’t help at all.

There was a festival just up the road from my grandparents house, in a small village. It was a parade of people dressed up playing drums and stuff. That night whilst my family was enjoying themselves in the theme park after the parade had gone, i ran off to the tree line. he was there, in the shadows, suit, tie everything. i got on my knees saying i wished to serve him as a proxy. i got this sudden sense of... i dont even know, it was a weird feeling of joy, something i had not felt in so long. i got up nodded my head and said "yes master" to nothing, for no reason, i just new now though i was his, i was his proxy and if i was a good servant he would give me relief, perhaps even hurt the bullies that had been after me for too long now.

The wooded Saturdays continued. The kids there knew who i was now. Just a creep running into the woods. i did stalk these two boys trying to lure them to the woods, but the one younger than me ran up at hit me, really going for me so i ran off. I’m not surprised to be fair. Who wouldn't seeing a child wearing all black, hooded with a mask. Especially if older

the late October holidays were coming and i went to Cyprus. Nothing happened there. It was like a proxy break almost. i read Creepypasta there and everything but other than that it was a sweet break. From school as well which at that point had gotten so bad i was beginning to consider running way. i did put a knife to my neck though with serious intent because i got upset one night. i dont even remember why. Mad times...

when i got back to school thought everything went bad again, my life became gray once more. The brief moment of family enjoyment turned sour and my mum contacted mental health services. i became rude, isolative, silent on occasions and regective of going out. Weekends became worse as my family relationship really began to break down. We were arguing all the time, shouting at each other. i was aggressive, violent, i threw things. i even began to be nasty to my dog, my own sweet bichon frize. She was my dog, practically brought for me. i would chase her off and shout at her. i didn't hit her or anything though. Wow, what a dick i was, maybe i deserved what i got. Maybe not... i dont know

i tried recruiting another guy at school as a proxy, i gave him a letter he signed, a proxy approval. My mum found a copy and said shed call the police if shed ever found anything like that again. i had to climb out the front bathroom window to grab the one i had left in the drive way for slender man. when i would go to the woods i started to get confused. With everything still going on, people now telling me to go and kill myself, that no one loved me, my dads a nerd, I’m a girl (i flashed myself to prove them i was a boy), I’m gay, i have no friends and never will. they began shoving me around a lot more and people began making false accusations. Making fun of my obsession and my interest in slender man. i went to the woods asking him for help. i waited another week. At this point i started to get in serious trouble. i had to be removed from the class for being disruptive. they locked the gate that led to my hiding place and said i couldn't sit up at the fire exit. my family had really started to argue. i asked my mum to take me home, saying i was sick. i wasn't really. Just so fed up with the bullies. i would lock myself in the bathroom or stay inside close to the staff. i spent entire times in the library on the computers still being mocked by everyone who came by. someone changed my screensaver to the troll face and deleted a lot of my work when i went to get a book. Every day i woke up i considered running away before going to school because it was just getting too much. i would walk through the grounds and people would shout names to me. i hanged out with the guy i tried to make a proxy, he was big and i thought it was safe. It was as safe as i could get i suppose. But people still took the piss. he told them to fuck off and they did. i would cry and cry for hours when i went home, Barricading myself in my bedroom. i decided slender man wasn't doing anything good for me. people at school would make fun of me for going to the woods calling me a stalker and a freak saying i wanted to rape and murder people. The boy i trusted began turning his back on me because he didn't want to get in trouble and the big lad i felt safe with was busy with other friends. i just had to hide in the toilets sometimes i wouldn't even come out for lessons too scared of what will happen to me. more name-calling, more people sighing if i was paired up, people insulting me without the teacher doing anything, the teachers joined in sometimes i swear saying stuff like "well he is very disruptive". i would get shouted at, but i didn't care anymore. i felt numb, what had i done to myself. no... it was him.... he did this to me... slender man...

if it weren't for him i wouldn't have isolated myself, i wouldn't have talked about such things that the other students classed as freaky and weird. i biked to the woods one final time, no mask, no hoodie. i got chased by one of the bullies on his bike who grabbed me and beat me before running off. i tried complimenting him on his skills, but he showed no mercy. Everyone hated me now. fuck it, fuck you, fuck you slender man. i dumped my bike, went into the woods shouting into the distance that i quit. My family life, my school life, even my dreams were unbearable. heartbreaking. i was sick, thinking about suicide. Names, insults, mocks shouted into my ears every day. Even at home my mum began to call me different. We argued for so long sometimes, the shouting got so loud. i quit being a proxy. fuck you slender man. You ruined my chance at this academy full of jerks, you messed up all of this you fucking dickhead. i felt as if i was bleeding everyday, tears and sweat. bruises, punches, death threats. It was too much, death seemed a better option. a good cut up the wrists. Anything to end the agony, the distress, the torture i faced everyday. The sickness didn't even get better, the obsession still dominating my life. Notebooks and whole packs of paper, my school books covered in the operator symbol, slender man drawings. Drawings of people impaled, people hanging from their necks i was disturbed, i didn't even know what i was doing anymore. as the year grew colder my life became worse and worse. i couldn't cough without a dirty look, i couldn't come into the classroom without an insult, i could be in a sports lesson without groaning. i didn't know what to do anymore. Everything was falling apart. Everything. i couldn't eat, i didn't sleep, i didn't go out, i didn't talk to my parents, when i did it was arguments and curses. every night tears, teeth and blood. Bad dreams in the precious hours of sleep i got.

Even in those rare incidents i did go out in public i was scared of being spotted, being humiliated in front of my own mother. It was a mixture of anger, anxiety and depression, a huge weight of boiling water in my chest. Soon enough at school i slowly walked up the fire exit staircase outside. this was it. i had enough. slender man would never go away. i was to be dead soon anyway. i looked down at the ground ready to jump off before the big lad led me down.

i was placed on 1:1 where someone needs to supervise me doing everything. a thorough risk assessment was made. Classes like DT (woodwork), art, anything involving something i could use to hurt myself was monitored closely. i couldn't see my big friend anymore. The other guy i trusted had turned his back on me, as for the other guy who defended me, the people he hanged out with didn't like me as much as he tried to tell them i had been victimized

i tried forgetting slender man. About 6 months of obsession was not easy to forget. i tried focusing my time on learning German. But even then the popular "der ritter" and "der großmann came up. i tried focusing on anything but i couldn't get it out my head. i tried immersing myself in a fantasy world with imaginary friends. i was on the brink of insanity.

i made a mistake then... someone asked me a question about slender man. i said "I’m moving on, i dont want to talk about that" im such a fucking idiot (in their own words too) why did i say that. For the next two weeks everywhere i went: "slender" "slender mans coming to get you" and it made me sick. didn't these fuckers know if i didn't forget i could be in serious danger? oh! wait no, because they didn't believe in what i did. after all i was just a stupid psychotic weirdo. It was a game to them. who can piss him off the most. Even in drama class someone made a play. they all smiled and shouted out the title of the play before preforming "slender returns" i felt sick, dizzy. i charged out the classroom covering my ears crying. i locked myself in a toilet and cried for twenty minutes. a staff member found me after checking all the toilets. apparently they had been looking all over for me. i sat with them for a while. It wasn't long after i began dissociating regularly, finding out that i had done this and that... i hadn't... at least not me...

It was the twelve of December. The day i would die of suicide. But i wanted to annoy them, to make them feel guilty after everything i had done. Whilst everyone was getting changed i tied a noose around my neck standing on my tiptoes on my school bag. For some odd reason everyone was going mad, begging me not to. this always irritates me. these were the same fuckers who told me to kill myself every time they fucking saw me. these were the fuckers that poked and prodded me and shoved me around, these were the fuckers that harassed me when i was minding my own business. These were the fuckers that would call me a weirdo every time i walked past them, these were the fuckers that spoke to me like a piece of shit, that never picked me, and when they had to they groaned like i stunk, these were the fuckers that treated me like a piece of shit, had no remorse or empathy, made a laughingstock of me, scapegoated me, lied about me, manipulated me, made allegations. Even when i tried to be nice, these fuckers were cunts. they deserved to see me die. If i am not a human being like them then why should they care?

The sports teacher ran in and undid the noose practically carried me out made me undress and dress in front of him, and then he called my mum, and we waited about 4 hours in A and E for a couple of doctors to come up and assess me. luckily i went home that night. The school sent me work. My mum didn't exactly approve, instead giving me her own timetable of mainly, creative art work and creative writing. She saved me. it was no more slender man... no more bullies... our relationship rebuilt. The family became closer. i paid more attention to my dog. and once again our dogly friendship rebuilt. slender man became a distant thought. i destroyed everything i had on him, the drawings, the notebooks, everything... he was gone. I stopped reading creepypastas full stop

i went to the woods one final time then. Just to say goodbye, a Canine goodbye, i told him he may be a force for good and maybe he should think next time how to do things properly. i said goodbye. i snapped a picture of him, the Facebook account i posted it on was oddly terminated. Anyway i asked him to leave me alone, just this once let his victim go. i felt oddly peaceful as i walked out the woods despite encountering a bully who asked why i wasn't in school. i said because i tried to kill myself, he said "because of slender man" and did this stupid noise with his lounge. in a way he was right. But i said "no, because of you" and walked off. they stole my bike helmet whilst i was in the woods, fucking sods. they probably still have it after all these years.

The new year began peaceful. 2013 was out the fucking window. Maybe 13 is an unlucky number. Whatever the case i was ready to begin a new life without slender man, get into a new school and try again. Cliche, i was fucking wrong. Because as i now know, slender man is not a force for good, and trust me, he ldoesn't leave his victims alone.

(End of part 4)

[survivor-of-removal]

i didn't do anything. in sports, i was always the last to get picked. in the end i just refused to play, every sports lesson just made me feel horrible inside. i would sit in the corner and do nothing. i dont suppose it helped but its not like anyone would pass the ball or anything. they would call me a girl because i had long hair. It wasn't even that long. It was more of an emo fringe than anything but still, it pissed me off, and they liked that. People liked my reaction. I’ve been always a wimp. i was adopted from an unsettled family, my biological mother got hurt by my father when she was pregnant with me. throughout school i was always isolated, i was that kid that sat on the table away from everyone else because i was distracting. i didn't have good social skills, i didn't have good behaviour. My classmates in primary liked me though because i was different, but when i went to secondary thinking i could be myself everything fell apart. i cant describe the anguish i went through at that academy, that hellhole... it tore me apart piece by piece. People would take my iPad, delete my games and saves, they would blame everything on me because i couldn't speak up for myself. It wasn't just my year though. The older year picked on me. they found me cuter though, they would pity me and pat me on the head but still mock me, call me names. Some were more aggressive. One incident one of those stupid bully gangs from the older years came up and started making me flinch, insulting me and my family, calling me the most vile of things, pretending they were gonna hit me and threatening me. these kids were like the proper worst though, their father had drinking issues, and they had been involved in crime, it was scary. i kind of hit one of them in self defense and i got in all the trouble. thats how i got my first real friend there actually. he saw what had happened. i was just minding my own business sitting reading because if i did something else people were sure to pick on me or make fun of me. despite his defense they did nothing. i got called dangerous and psychotic for hitting the boy despite everything they did to me. i didn't understand what was going on anymore. My mind was so blurry and tired. i just wanted it to end. Everywhere i went, every class, in front of the teachers or not, in lunch line, at break, in between classes, after the last lesson, before school when i went in, even online, they would never leave me alone. Even at home my relationship with my parents was breaking up. every time after school i would be angry irritable and down right depressed. Every morning i woke up i wish i had died the night before. It wasn't school anymore, it didn't feel like i was learning anything. i couldn't keep up with the work, with the home work, with anything. i only had one friend and i only saw him at lunch. If anyone grouped up with me they would sigh and complain. i was a scapegoat, they would blame stuff on me coming up with insane theories about how i was mad and dangerous. i just tried to keep myself to myself but no, they would come up to me or turn around and poke me in the lunch line. All the time that shadow was following me about, the obsession taking a grip of my every day. i would be rude to my mum to and from school in the car. She was fed up with me too. i was just miserable all the time. i would tell her i was getting bullied, she would bring it up with the school. Today she tells me she heard things that happened at school that she was shocked by. i would never tell her, it was just painful. threatening, physically shoving me around like trash, stopping me from going anywhere, ganging up on me, swearing at me, cursing at me, calling me horrible names, manipulating me, forcing me to buy stuff for them unless they would take my things or hurt me or my family. in the end it got so bad the school had to move me classes. Things didn't change much. i was with that boy again, the different one i trusted. We formed a close bond. they didn't bully him though, because unlike me, he was "cool" and could beatbox

(End of part 3)

[survivor-of-removal]

I’ve been always a wimp. i was adopted from an unsettled family, my biological mother got hurt by my father when she was pregnant with me. throughout school i was always isolated, i was that kid that sat on the table away from everyone else because i was distracting. i didn't have good social skills, i didn't have good behaviour. My classmates in primary liked me though because i was different, but when i went to secondary thinking i could be myself everything fell apart. i cant describe the anguish i went through at that academy, that hellhole... it tore me apart piece by piece. People would take my iPad, delete my games and saves, they would blame everything on me because i couldn't speak up for myself. It wasn't just my year though. The older year picked on me. they found me cuter though, they would pity me and pat me on the head but still mock me, call me names. Some were more aggressive. One incident one of those stupid bully gangs from the older years came up and started making me flinch, insulting me and my family, calling me the most vile of things, pretending they were gonna hit me and threatening me. these kids were like the proper worst though, their father had drinking issues, and they had been involved in crime, it was scary. i kind of hit one of them in self defense and i got in all the trouble. thats how i got my first real friend there actually. he saw what had happened. i was just minding my own business sitting reading because if i did something else people were sure to pick on me or make fun of me. despite his defense they did nothing. i got called dangerous and psychotic for hitting the boy despite everything they did to me. i didn't understand what was going on anymore. My mind was so blurry and tired. i just wanted it to end. Everywhere i went, every class, in front of the teachers or not, in lunch line, at break, in between classes, after the last lesson, before school when i went in, even online, they would never leave me alone. Even at home my relationship with my parents was breaking up. every time after school i would be angry irritable and down right depressed. Every morning i woke up i wish i had died the night before. It wasn't school anymore, it didn't feel like i was learning anything. i couldn't keep up with the work, with the home work, with anything. i only had one friend and i only saw him at lunch. If anyone grouped up with me they would sigh and complain. i was a scapegoat, they would blame stuff on me coming up with insane theories about how i was mad and dangerous. i just tried to keep myself to myself but no, they would come up to me or turn around and poke me in the lunch line. All the time that shadow was following me about, the obsession taking a grip of my every day. i would be rude to my mum to and from school in the car. She was fed up with me too. i was just miserable all the time. i would tell her i was getting bullied, she would bring it up with the school. Today she tells me she heard things that happened at school that she was shocked by. i would never tell her, it was just painful. threatening, physically shoving me around like trash, stopping me from going anywhere, ganging up on me, swearing at me, cursing at me, calling me horrible names, manipulating me, forcing me to buy stuff for them unless they would take my things or hurt me or my family. in the end it got so bad the school had to move me classes. Things didn't change much. i was with that boy again, the different one i trusted. We formed a close bond. they didn't bully him though, because unlike me, he was "cool", he could beat box and shit. i remember one time some fucker came up to me and called us both weird and asked can you do anything good to me and then said to the other guy "what about you?" and he beat boxed, and he said "well at least he's cool, you're just fucking weird" i can still that word in my head from those fuckers, weirdo, weirdo, gay, freak, cunt, mad, psycho, weirdo weirdo" if i just walked past on smiled at them politely or said hello they would have a go at me. i never understood why.

(End of part 2)

[survivor-of-removal]

Dark Seeker's history summer/ early autum

There’s not much point doing this blog if i don’t tell you everything thats happened so far. It was 2013 i discovered creepypasta. It was an innocent enough mistake. i spelled a word wrong... yes all my pain and suffering was caused by a fucking spelling mistake. Maybe i shouldn't of hated on that miserable sarcastic teaching assistant that tortured me every Wednesday before swimming class. Maybe my lazy ass should've paid attention.

Anyway it was me looking for a thrill. You know, a scary game to scare the shit out of myself. So i typed in "scaryest game on the internet". Despite the agony its almost funny to think that such an innocent mistake would ruin my life. The "word" scaryest brought me to the more sinister games. Im guessing it was like a deep web link or something similar because it brought me to the dodgy games. Like for an example it brought me to a game, can't even remember what its called. i couldn't find it again even after a long deep search. It had this image on it:

(smile Jeff)

i played the game. i didn't understand it very much. i reversed the image search, brought me to "smile Jeff" a combination of two images, a recreation of the real smile dog picture and the original Jeff the killer song. For some odd reason smile dog didn't interest me at first. The picture was creepy for sure but the name Jeff the killer seemed more interesting. Stupidly enough i did some research on Jeff the killer. the worst mistake of my life. i read a story named "go to sleep" yep thats right, the original Jeff the killer story, the one that tells how he became the way he is. its harder to find nowadays. The part when Jeff carved a smile in his face and burnt off his eyelids shocked me. baring in mind i was only in my early 11 years of age. i wasn't supposed to read that stuff. i remember shaking. literally shaking. i was genuinely shocked, scared. It scarred me but for some odd reason it wasn't enough. i waited three days telling everyone "i read this terrifying story" that was until i finished primary school which was after 3 days. The whole summer holidays was in front of me as well as a new secondary school. It was like everything was set up to fail. That summer i looked deeper and deeper staying up late looking at more creepypastas. Jeff was always my favourite. None of the others did it for me like he did. when i went on holiday to jersey the hotel there had about 5 acres of grounds. It had a forest, fields, and a really large patio area (like really large) where the wine cellar was and where they grew herbs and everything. The best part (at the time) was that it was always empty. The only part that really ever got used was the pool area. the other areas during the later afternoon where always empty. It had different layers and everything with a well and small little cottages, some of the places in the grounds were so rural it felt like a country village. and of course in the evening everything was empty. By then i had discovered a new favorite creepy pasta: the Rake. i used to go rake hunting in the woods next to the manor/hotel. i used to have great fun scaring the crap out of myself. now for those out there who are big into creepypasta stuff. you'll know that there's another one, a big one, one that usually sits next to the rake in terms of myths and fandom. Yes thats right: the Slender man.

this one made me almost forget all the others. From a first glance, one glance thats all it took: i was engrossed. For the next day i didn't go out exploring. i stayed in reading about him, everything i could spend hours reading stories, doing "research". The next time i went out something felt very off and as i walked around i felt like i was being watched. i shrugged it off as paranoia but returned to my families room soon after because it just felt too bad. On the final day of the holiday me and my family took a hike in the area near the ferry port. The whole thing felt weird. The fenced off woods intrigued me. something drew me closer. By now i was already playing the mass of slender man games on the app store.

When i got home it was non-stop slender man, short films, stories not even on creepypasta, stories on creepypasta and looking at pictures, videos, everything i could get my thumbs on. i thought it wasn't real. Some of you may scoff at this. Most people today "know" he isn't real. Every fucking website: "oh he was created on the something awful forums, na na na"

i wanted to believe in it, i wanted to think it was all real. It would be exiting, if i was stalked it would make my life a fun adventure. The stupid innocent ignorance of a fucking 11 year old. That was when he appeared in my dream. i cant remember the dream anymore, i have a few visions. One was an empty mossy swimming pool surrounded by thick dark woods, and he was standing in the entrance to the forest. i woke up. i wasn't scared, i was almost exited, but something suppressed that feeling almost. i cant describe it, it was a feeling of difference, the whole room didn't seem right like something was off, horribly off. i was in my room, but i wasn't. i got to sleep eventually. But had another dream. i was in a field, woods surrounding it with overgrown brown grass, the sky was blue and it was sunny, it was sweet. There were other people if i remember rightly but ill never forget the tree in the middle of the field. i went up to it and the best way to describe it is that on the tree, a suit and tie were carved on in the right place like the tree would come alive any moment. My dad woke me up. today we were going to some boats race thing. Hundreds of people were going to be there. i can remember telling my dad i had a bad dream but didn't tell him what it was. he by now knew of my creepy pasta addiction. Luckily, or at least lucky at the time, right next to the massive field next to the river there was a large dark forest. i played around in there. i was looking for him of course. surprisingly the forest felt calm.

The day was going fine. If i remember they had a BBQ on the main field anyway, or they were selling hot dogs or something. Anyway, the day was good. That was until i had to go to an aunts' birthday party. Some people got drunk if i remember rightly and everyone was "partying" a little too hard for middle-aged people. i spent most of the night outside in the pub garden staring into the dark trees thinking about slender man. i told my grandma and one of my aunts about slenderman, and they couldn't stop laughing. i was slightly annoyed by this i dont know why.

By the way if you're wondering how i can remember all this, which if sure you are it's because i have a high functioning form of autism. no I’m not a retard, the opposite in fact, i have a high IQ but do find it hard in social situations and other minor things like that. i can remember when i was 6 for goodnes’s sake. i have a good memory, its never been bad, it's been blurry at times, usually when im... when is... yeah

but anyway i was happy to go home, it had been a long day. as we were driving home i had the sudden urge to look out the window, and there he was, standing there on the pavement. i had never been more shocked in my life, but the thing i remember is confusion. i dont know why but i was more surprised than scared.

The rest of the summer was okay i guess, a lot of homework that my new secondary had set (how brutal is that, i hadn't even attended a day at the school, and they gave summer homework) and of course long nights looking at slender man stories. One i remember well is "the rocking chair" i cant find it again but it was about a rocking chair on a campsite and whoever sat in it at night would encounter slender man. i dont know why i remember that one. i was fully obsessed reading creepiest one after the other. By now they were regular stories, i wasn't scared, i was reading stories at 11 that are supposed to frighten fucking adults. i look back on it now. Maybe i didn't realize what i was doing but now i know. i was harming myself: psychologically.

School began. Or should i say hell began. The academy i attended was brutal, vicious. no one liked me. i jumped from being fairly popular in primary (people liked me because i was quirky) to being the laughingstock and the loser of not just the class, not just my year group. no we are talking about the whole fucking school. for goodnes’s sake, pupils that came from my primary didn't even like me anymore. a girl i danced with in the school disco sort of thing didn't even like me, they turned me away, i was an embarrassment. i tried to fit in but i couldn't. i tried to joke, i tried to laugh, i tried to join in conversations, but they would all turn me down as a "gay weirdo". Its painful looking back on it. i was so confused at the time. i knew no one, not the teachers, all my friends were gone and the ones that did go to the same school turned me away too engrossed in their new friends. i would just sit there at break and read creepypastas in the corner. It was an escape from hell. By now i started getting slender sickness, nose bleeds, coughing fits, nausea, ringing in my ears. and i shadow would follow me everywhere, a tall wispy dark shadow with long arms that would stand in the corner of the recreation ground at break and just watch me disappearing each time a looked directly at it. it would follow me home, i would see it outside, in town. i wanted answers. i knew it was slender man, i knew he was after me. i had the sickness, the obsession, i saw him, i got detentions all the time. i couldn't concentrate in class. Either i tried to make conversation with the boy next to me, he seemed fairly... different... so i trusted him. he didn't make fun of me like the others. By now my new nickname was weirdo. i didn't choose the nickname. i minded my own business. The first week i tried to make friends went so wrong i just sat in the corner at breaks and minded my own business, sometimes silently crying about the lesson beforehand when someone had humiliated me or picked on me for no reason. But still they came up to me and made fun of me then. i remember i had two spots i would hide. There was a pathway that went off the main recreation space up to a fire exit, i would sit by the fire exit door away from everyone watched everyone have fun, laughing, joking, groups of kids like me walking around with their friends. i had no one. no one but my stupid creepypastas. i had imaginary friends too. Tommy, cal, they were all i had, and they weren't even fucking real. My other place was behind the fence. There was a gate next to the football pitches that entered a small area behind a wooden fence. i was the only person who ever went there. after all who else would go behind some tall wooden fences into that small isolated space. i wouldn't eat lunch, the cafeteria was a spot for bullying. no one would let me sit down. i began to become really skinny. But i felt better behind a wooden fence where no one could find me than eating. At this point my obsession with slender man took over everything. in school any opportune to write about something, draw something, anything optional, it would always be about slender man. My life was breaking down. Detentions every day. i almost liked them. It was stop me from going outside. i think the teachers knew: they would send me out early to socialize. Socialize with whom? i had no friends. i only had enemies. People wouldn't let me sit down. they would shout at me tell me to fuck off. If i walked past people they would drop the "gay" insult or call me names. i never understood why. i didn't do anything. in sports, i was always the last to get picked. in the end i just refused to play, every sports lesson just made me feel horrible inside. i would sit in the corner and do nothing. i dont suppose it helped but its not like anyone would pass the ball or anything. they would call me a girl because i had long hair. It wasn't even that long. It was more of an emo fringe than anything but still, it pissed me off, and they liked that. People liked my reaction.

(End of part 1)

[survivor-of-removal]

Just now I was at the top of the hallway. The door to the lobby has two long windows like a fire exit kind of thing. Everything began to spin, my flat mates were talking nonsense and I couldn’t get a grip of anyone’s conversation. I got a horrible feeling of dread as I stared down the hallway. The walls seemed to close in around me and I felt a difficulty to breathe. I could feel a really oppressive but almost relaxing atmosphere and felt heavy like I was paralysed. The hallway began to glitch out. That’s the best way to describe it: forms of light appeared around it. Then I saw him... The Dark King, standing there, barely visible. I could just make his form out standing there tilting his head when I asked it what it wants with me. I felt the need to stay in my spot or even walk towards the area before I saw a much more visible manifestation behind the windows. I went to my room, stumbling and collapsed on the bed. I lay there for 15 minutes thinking about him. What does he want? And how long will this go on for?!

[survivor-of-removal]

Could this infamous painting “The Scream” be an past depiction of the Dark King? It certainly is a spitting image. Imagine the arms down by the figures sides. They would be long too just like the Dark King himself

[survivor-of-removal]

The Gathering. A supposed group of “Proxies” (a name for the slaves of the Dark King) who hide in the Internet, stalking, harrasing and influencing in the name of the Dark King. What I can see judging by their YouTube videos is an important goal: the revival of the slenderman mythos, something they believe will help the strength of the Dark King. While their videos seem to be influenced by ToTheArk it is not clear completely what their videos mean, not what the messages in the videos exactly mean

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCOQXhftoeVVaIHV_RGlgDQA

All I know is that the Gathering is my enemy right now. And I am ready to go to war with them if it means going to war with the Dark King himself

[survivor-of-removal]

I COULD MAKE YOU CARE:

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCALyDMn180VFB978y1k8gmA

this channel is a growing ARG based around the Slenderverse dealing with a young man going about his daily life until strange and terrifying things begin to take fold. Whilst new, it has a complex mythos in its own right.

But don’t get put off that it’s an ARG. If you’re in for the real deal like me just remember reality really can be altered through, especially when it comes to beings like The Dark King. A dimensional being we can’t even explain

[survivor-of-removal]

This Blog is an extended edition to my YouTube vlog as well as an extended part of the “I Could Make You Care” youtube series from Jacob Novak.

As my experiences grow foward I will be forming my own group counteractive to a group known as the “Gathering” who are attempting to bring an Entity back from his weakness into fear again. My group “Elementi” will attempt to control or help those effected by the revival