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[sweaterkittensahoy]

It is absolutely a power play by at least Duncan to see what Oliver will do when given the wrong food. Those were very well-made sunny side up eggs. But it wasn't what he asked for. And he'd been told by his hosts he could get his eggs however he wanted.

It paints a very interesting picture of the staff and possibly the entire Catton family. There's talk of Felix bringing home other strays like Oliver. Sad boys with sad backgrounds, etc. Most importantly, I think it paints a very interesting picture of Lord and Lady Catton. Duncan would NOT bring out the wrong eggs on purpose, not if it wasn't wanted. He is clearly an exquisite butler. I feel like what we're seeing with the wrong eggs is Lord and Lady Catton wanting to subtly test Felix's new pet. What manners does he REALLY have if presented with the wrong eggs? If he says nothing, he's spineless. If he tries to act like he's in the same class as them and gets snippy, he's a social climber.

If he pauses and seems confused and politely but reluctantly corrects the mistake to Lord and Lady Catton (as he does)? He's showing proper form for his station. He is a poor guest in a great house. By not correcting Duncan directly and going through the proper channels of speaking of it to Lord and Lady Catton when they ask him if he's all right, he's showing he's made of the right stuff to be in their house. He understands that he is a GUEST of IMPORTANT PEOPLE and that it is not his role to correct the staff. He is showing he understands it is THEIR role.

And, however you read Oliver's manipulation at the end (a well-planned attack or a revision of history to justify his actions to himself), it works out at the end. By politely deferring to Lord and Lady Catton and either actually being or well playing confused at the wrong eggs, he gives them the version of himself that they want to trust him enough so that he gets to stick around and eventually get the entire estate.

They think they understand people, Lord and Lady Catton, because they think they understand power dynamics. Because they think they are better than their staff. They think they're better than Oliver. And what allows him to win in the end is that he plays that vanity of betterness against them and wins the fucking prize.

Every time I watch Saltburn, I swear I cannot tell that the eggs Oliver is served during that first breakfast are even cooked. Other people have said the eggs are sunny-side-up, though, so I'll assume that's correct.

It still means that Oliver was served the wrong eggs. He asked for over easy, which the eggs he got were definitely not. The whites were still clear on top, which is both a different taste and a different texture than over easy eggs.

It also means that the Cattons' personal cook(s) not only made Oliver the wrong eggs, but that Duncan then brought those eggs out to Oliver with no comment.

The Cattons are absolutely rich enough to hire cooks who know the difference between sunny-side-up eggs and over easy eggs, though. Even if the cook messed it up, Duncan as the family's Butler should have caught it before the plate reached the table.

I've seen people interpret this scene as Oliver making an early power play with the staff, seeing if he can get away with ordering eggs and then sending it back, but that only works if he was given the right eggs in the first place.

He wasn't.

The staff gave Oliver the wrong food.

Oliver wasn't making a power play with the Saltburn staff.

The eggs scene is the staff testing Oliver, to see if he'll roll over and not make trouble, in order to keep his wealthy hosts happy.

It's the staff treating Oliver like his (supposed) poverty makes him a gold digger who is reaching above his station and needs to be knocked down a peg, all for having the sheer audacity to try and eat breakfast with his friend, at his friend's house that he was invited to, when he wasn't told what to expect in advance and while being treated like a zoo animal by his friend's family without a single peep from his supposed friend while all this happens.

Oliver just wanted to eat some fuckin' breakfast with his friend, though.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Or we could keep the focus on this post about how a subset of Taylor's fans need to stop trying to queer a straight person when there are plenty of queers in music to support and leave the actual actions of Swift for a different post. Because this post isn't about her. It's about the part of her fanbase that has an absolutely batshit need to force her queer no matter what she says.

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I think I've said this before, but it bears repeating: I have not watched the 2021 West Side Story, but I have seen its versions of "America" and "Gee, Officer Krupke," and both of them make me so fucking mad.

The point of "America" happening up on the roof of the tenement is because it's one of the very few places where the Sharks and their girlfriends can just be themselves without being constantly judged for being immigrants. They have a spot high above the street where they're judged to imagine their best lives. Setting it in the street like they're welcomed to be there misses the fucking point of the song.

The point of "Gee, Officer Krupke" happening in the streets is because that's the one place the Jets feel most powerful and therefore able to mock the authority around them. Setting it in the police station because they've gotten caught misses the fucking point of the song.

They're both songs about strength and independence and community set--in the original--in places where each group feels most powerful. The location change takes away part of fucking point of the songs and the film itslef.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

As a bisexual enby married to a man, I just wanna say:

Taylor Swift has said MANY TIMES ON THE RECORD that she is straight

And even being married to a man to a man for 15 years, I still wanna fuck women more than Taylor Swift. Because I wanna fuck women. And she has loudly stated SEVERAL TIMES that she does not.

And, lastly, OP, bless your whole fucking heart the shit you go through. You are stronger than any version of Batman including vaping Affleck Batman.

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

The fact that he gives her that sweet smile, and she sends back that little tongue bite like she has PLANS.

GET IT MARGE.

Masters of the Air (2024) - Part One.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

One of the funniest realizations I have ever had about how fucking blindspotted tv people can have about intended vs. actual audience is--unshockingly--Supernatural.

"why are women watching this show?" they yelled over and over again.

Meanwhile, the show starred the sweetest, nicest boy from Stars Hollow and that guy who'd been on Dark Angel and also been Sammy's twin brother on Days of Our Lives.

Like, you fuckers literally cast "teenage girl first orgasm" leads.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

if we’re allowed to request smut for the fic prompts could u write something where bucky has been pushing curt and buck’s buttons all day and they decide he needs to be put in his place <3

Curt finds Buck as he leaves the mess hall after dinner. He has that wild look in his eyes that could either be trouble or fun. Buck slips his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, waiting to find out which it is. 

"Are we fucking or punching Bucky tonight?" Curt greets. 

Buck huffs a laugh and grins. Trouble and fun, then. "Been on your ass all day, too, huh?"

"He's asking for it," Curt replies. 

Buck slips a hand around Curt's waist and pulls him in tight against his side. "Let's give it to him, then," he says. 

*

Bucky laughs when they walk in side by side. The barracks are empty. All the boys have passes for the village or London, and they're making use of them. Buck grabs a bunk and slides it in front of the door just to be sure no one can interrupt as Curt closes curtains all down the hut.

"To what do I owe the honor, gents?" Bucky asks. 

Curt climbs into Bucky's lap and takes his flask from his hand. He takes a long drink, then gets a handful of Bucky's hair and pulls tight. "Fucking brat," he says. 

"Don't know what you're talking about?" Bucky asks, breathless and laughing.

"Curt, get his mouth full," Buck says as he saunters over to the bed. 

Curt puts Bucky's flask on the side table, then slips two fingers into Bucky's mouth. "Suck on those for a second."

Bucky sucks hard, making a loud, wet noise as he does. Curt opens his trousers one-handed, and then Buck's behind him, helping him pulled own his slacks and underwear. 

"Thanks, baby," Curt says. 

Buck nuzzles Curt's neck, then slips his hands up under Curt's uniform shirt. He kneads his fingertips against Curt's ribs and nibbles his ear. 

"Hey, I didn't make an ass of myself to be ignored," Bucky says. 

Buck gives Bucky a level look as Curt turns his head to mouth at Buck's neck. "You deserve to be ignored," he says. "Playing ass grab like you've been doing."

Bucky's grin is sharp. "I wasn't just grabbing ass, Buck."

"Got your dick in hand too, huh?" Curt asks. 

"Almost too hard," Buck replies. He traces his fingers up and down the stretched length of Curt's neck as Curt keeps his head tipped back, awaiting a kiss. "You're beautiful," he tells Curt, then presses their mouths together. 

Curt groans and arches. One of Bucky's hands joins Buck's under his shirt, but Bucky's as sharp and daring as he has been all day and goes straight to Curt's nipple, tweaking it hard. 

"Fucker," Curt grunts against Buck's lips, then focuses on Bucky. "You fucking need something?" He snaps at Bucky. 

Bucky lifts his hips, his dick clearly hard in his slacks. "Yeah, I fucking need something."

"Get your dick in his mouth," Buck says to Curt. "I'll take care of him, even though he doesn't deserve any of it." 

"Hey," Bucky says, but his eyes are bright and gleeful at getting what he wants. He slides down a little so his head is supported by the bunched up pillow under his head. He stares at Curt for a long moment before licking his lips and dropping his mouth open. 

"Jesus," Curt breathes out and knee-walks up so he can feed Bucky his cock. "He cheats, Buck.'

"Oh, I fucking know it," Buck says as he undoes Bucky's trousers. He pulls Bucky's hard dick from his underwear and drags his closed mouth from root to tip. He laps the head with his tongue, then sucks the very tip into his mouth. Bucky shivers, and Buck pulls off so he can open his own trousers. Curt's blocking Buck's view, but he can picture what's happening. Bucky's mouth open and wet, Curt feeding his dick deep into Bucky's mouth. In a few moments, Bucky will close his lips and suck, and Curt will curl over him, hands in Bucky's hair, swearing and praising Bucky in equal measure. 

Buck gets his trousers open, then presses his lips to Bucky's slit. He gathers spit in his mouth, then lets it drool down Bucky's length, working his hand up and down until Bucky's dick is good and wet. 

"Fucking mouth on you," Curt is murmuring, hips jerking with sharp beauty. "Everyhing about you, you fucking asshole. So goddamn needy." 

Buck sits up and takes his hand off Bucky's dick. Bucky's hips snap, and he huffs a laugh as he spits into his own palm. He drags his hand up and down himself once, then wraps his hand around his dick and Bucky's dick at the same time. 

Curt twists so he can see over his shoulder. He grins at Buck. "Give it a good twist," he says. He swallows around my cock when you do that."

"I think you're more of a libertine than him," Buck says, but does as Curt asks. He can hear Bucky's wet, caught gasp and twists his hand again. 

Curt groans and leans back. Buck slings his free arm around his chest and holds him close, biting lightly at Curt's shoulder through his shirt. He can see Bucky's face like this. It's bright pink and sweaty, Curt's dick hanging half out of his mouth in a beautiful obscenity. Buck drags his hand up and pushes Curt forward, and watching Bucky's hand grab at Curt's hips as he takes a little more of Curt's cock makes Buck press his mouth against Curt's ear and breathe out hard. 

"Yeah, fucking love that," Curt says, and Buck isn't sure if it's for him or Bucky, and he doens't care. He drags his palm over Curt's nipple and tightens his grip when his palm cups his and Bucky's cockheads together. Bucky's eyes open, and he meets Buck's gaze, eyes hot and lustful. 

"We should blue ball him," Buck says to Curt, dragging a kiss up and down his neck. "Teach him not to be such a fucking menace when he could just ask for a quick fuck."

Curt laughs, dirty and deep. "What would we do?" Curt asks. 

"Come all over each other," Buck says. "Make him lick us clean." 

"Fuck me," Curt gasps, and his hips jerk and stutter, and then he's coming with a loud moan, dick slipping from Bucky's mouth and spunk dribbling over Bucky's lips.

Buck slides his hand downwards and jerks Curt in the same rhythm he's still using on himself and Bucky. He tugs a little harder than necessary because Curt loves the overstimulation, and he loves seeing the last few drops of spunk drop onto Bucky's chin. 

"Sure," Bucky grits out, wiping the back of his hand over hs mouth, then licking his hand clean. "I'm the fucking menace." 

"Shut up," Curt says and shoves three fingers into Bucky's mouth. He turns so he's perpendicular to Bucky on the bed, and he adds his hand to Buck's on Bucky and Buck's cocks. "Kiss me," he says to Buck. 

Buck does as told, letting Curt decide how deep and hard and messy the kiss is. By the time he's gasping against Curt's mouth because his own orgasm is about to happen, his chin and cheeks are smeared with Curt's spit, and his bottom lip is dented from Curt's teeth. He sucks hard on Curt's tongue as he comes, and just as he goes limp with the aftershocks, Curt leans down and sucks Bucky's dick into his mouth, doing something that makes Bucky shout and snap his hips and come. 

They shouldn't fit on the bed, but they're used to making it work. Buck ends up on his back, Curt flopped on him with a leg thrown over Buck's hips to keep himself close. Bucky drapes himself across the both of them, kissing Bucky with slow, easy tenderness while digging his fingers into Curt's hip. 

"Why are you such a fucking brat?" Curt asks after a few minutes. 

"Look what it gets me," Bucky replies, and Buck wants to call him an ass, but he's half-asleep and sated, and Bucky and Curt are both making a meal of his collarbone. 

"Ass," Bucky managers, and Curt laughs as Bucky bites down hard enough to leave a dent dead-center on Buck's chest.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I always think of this scene, the long-awaited reveal to what happened to Peggy. To why Peggy and Don seemed to understand each other differently after season 1.

And then Peggy doesn't take his advice. She says, repeatedly, to different people, "I had a baby, and I gave it away."

Her worst secret. Her most shameful secret. She didn't tell everyone, but she told people she trusted. People who did NOT betray that secret. And they looked at her with despair or shock or shame (aimed at her). And finally, eventually, she says it to Stan. Stan who started out trying to shock her with his own behavior, and she met him push for push, and they built a relationship of mutual respect and affection. "I had a baby, and I gave it away," she says to Stan, and he doesn't look at her with shame or despair or shock. He accepts it. As he has accepted all of her.

Meanwhile, Don goes through life refusing to share his most shameful secret with anyone, and it ruins him again and again and again. Not even Peggy knows he's Dick Whitman. And when he does get found out--by Betty, by Pete--it's used against him because of course it is. Because Don's been lying to their faces over and over, and they're angry and sad and clearly wondering what the world would be like if Don Draper couldn't fucking lie his way into whatever he wants.

Don Draper lied his whole life and it left him alone in the end (another great ad campaign isn't going to make people trust him again).

Peggy Olsen told the truth and at the end of the day, she's happy, respected, and loved with absolute adoration by a man worthy of her.

MAD MEN (2007–2015) ▸ 2.05 The New Girl

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Okay, so you know I have the story where Rosie reads Harry the letter from Jean as a way to help him relax and help him reset? I've realized when Crosby goes home to Jean for that month off, he's gonna be wired because he's only been with Rosie for months, and he knows he and Rosie were Jean's idea, but also what if she wants to take it back; what if she's upset that Harry loves Rosie? What if she only loves Rosie in letters but doesn't want him in their lives the way Harry does?

And Jean, knowing Harry, pulls the truth out of him slow and careful, and the next morning, after she's reassured him verbally and physically, spends part of the morning reading her favorite parts of Rosie's letters to Harry to ask him for details or talk about what she likes about them. Wraps Harry warm and safe in unquestionable proof that she wants Rosie in the house with them, too, and Harry can just RELAX.

The first time they're all together, it takes a few days for Rosie and Jean to figure out how to approach each other romantically, but Harry's oddly relaxed about the whole thing. Because they gave that to him. So, he finally stands up after dinner and says, "Come on," and leads them to the bedroom and shoves them both on the bed and then sits to watch.

It's still a little awkward still, but then Harry says, "You two always tell me you'll give me whatever I want, and what I want is the two of you to finally fucking touch each other and make sure you really feel what I know you feel."

And Jean and Rosie laugh because god, Harry's got them dead to rights, and it relaxes them both enough they can start to get to know each other physically, and it's fantastic.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

HEY YOU REMEMBER HOW TORN UP YOU WERE WHEN VEAL YELLED ABOUT HIS BOYS GUESS WHAT POINT WE'RE AT

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Shout out to the only other female team member, who said on today's team call, "Well, yesterday was the perfect date," and I said, "Not too hot, not too cold," then all the dudes on the team just stared into the camera as she and I laughed together.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Speaking of the antisemitic rallies happening on college campuses disguised as "Pro-Palestine" events, just wanna mention it's Passover.

I'm sure these things are in no way related in any way, shape or form. (That's a blatant lie. I think organizers know exactly what they're doing.)

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I truly do not believe that a single "Pro-Palestine protest" on any campus right now is about anything but using the right term to be loudly antisemitic and get away with it.

No one at these protests gives a fucking shit about Palestinians. They just want an excuse to hate Jews out loud and get applause.

I sat next to the protest today.

I wrote fan-fiction about two gay jewish dads raising children to the play list of the chant- "No peace on stolen land!" on an American college campus. It isn't a name brand one either, nor does it have any legitimate ties to Israel. The anger is just there- it has rotten these future doctors, nurses, teachers, and members of society.

I don't even know what to call their demonstration- it was a tizzy of a Jew hatred affair. At points, there were empathetic statements about Gazans and their suffering. Then outright support of Hamas and violent resistance against all colonizers. Then this bizarre fixation on antisemitism while explaining the globalists are behind everything.

"Antisemitism doesn't exist. Not in the modern day," A professor gloated over a microphone in front of the library. "It's a weaponized concept, that's prevents us from getting actual places- ignore anyone who tells you otherwise."

"How can we be antisemitic?" A pasty white girl wearing a red Jordanian keffiyeh gloats five minutes later. "Palestinians are the actual semites."

"there is only one solution!" The crowd of over 50 students and faculty cried, over and over.

"Been there, done that," I thought, then added a reference to a mezuza in the fourth paragraph.

Two other Jewish students passed where I was parked out, hunching and trying to be as innocuous as possible. We laughed together at my predicament, where I am willingly hearing this bullshit and feeling so amused by this.

"Am I crazy? For sitting here?" I asked them. My friends shook their heads.

"We did the same last week- it's an amazing experience, isn't it?”

We all cackled hysterically again. They left to study for finals. Two minutes later, I learned from the current speaker that “Zionism” is behind everything bad in this world.

Forty-five minutes in, a boy I recognized joined me on my lonely bench. He came from a very secular Jewish family and had joined Hillel recently to learn more about his culture. His first Seder was two nights ago.

He sat next to me, heavy like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. There was just this despondent look on his face. I couldn’t describe it anyone else, but just sheer hopelessness personified.

“They hate us. I can’t believe how much they hate us.” He said in greeting.

And for the first time all day, I had no snarky response or glib. All I could do was stare out into the crowd, and sigh.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Jack: Crosby ran into a tree. I am not dealing with any other bullshit today.

Harding: I've got a steak, a pitcher of martinis, and a hot bath in my hut.

Jack: That sounds great, but none of that stops them.

Harding: I've also threatened every troublemaker on base with a cold-hand prostate check from the doc if they so much as sneeze.

Jack: Marry me.

Harding: Not now. There's a war on.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

JAMES MURRAY as NEIL "CHICK" HARDING in MASTERS OF THE AIR (2024), part three

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My dearly departed grandmother was married to a man 18 years her senior, and when he called the life insurance office at 98 to ask a question about his policy, no one believed it was him.

Same dude got yelled out by his doctor for shoveling the neighbor's walk during a snowstorm. He apparently told the doctor, "Well, doctor, she's just an old lady."

"SHE'S YOUNGER THAN YOU."

It did not stop him.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Jack didn't come along because his level of swag would have leveled the building

and because Harding is taking care of him right this second