sybilazu

[sybilazu]

*sees little bee or moth flitting around in the yard*

“😊 hello! You are very small and friend shaped! I don’t have much of a garden, but feel free to enjoy any nectar or anything else you find!!”

*starts flying in my general direction*

“buT DO IT FAR AWAY FROM ME PLEASE, FUCK-“

[sybilazu]

Sometimes I think about how cool it would be to have something like super speed.

And then I remember how every time I get stuck behind a slow walker, I have to mentally chant ‘MURDER IS ILLEGAL’ to myself for a solid 5 minutes before I can deem myself safe to be around again

[sybilazu]

I’ve found that you have to do a lot of explaining when you’re my specific brand of picky eater.

When most people hear the words ‘picky eater’ they seem to think along the lines of not liking pickles on your hamburger or something like that.

Buddy, I can only tolerate being within smelling distance of most of the ingredients for a hamburger, much less all of them together.

And then there are those times at buffets.

“You don’t have any meat on your plate. Are you a vegetarian?”

Not technically.

“Oh, then you must be on a diet? You already look great, sweetie. You don’t need to-”

No, I literally just don’t like the taste of most types of meat.

[sybilazu]

I’ll always appreciate everyone’s collective agreement that it DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THE MOOD IS.

IF THE SONG’S A VIBE, IT GOES ON THE DAMN PLAYLIST.

MISS ME WITH THAT ‘ONE SINGULAR THEME’ BULLSHIT.

DOES THE BEAT GO BOP BOP? THEN ITS MOTHAFUCKIN LIST TIME, BABYYYYY

[sybilazu]

I’ve figured it out. My favorite genre of protagonist is:

Some girl with a hyperfixation

[sybilazu]

First Felon is kidnapping and trafficking.

#LanguageMatters ✨️racism✨️💫

[sybilazu]

“You knew!? Wow, you must be SO smart and pay attention to every little detail!!”

Ohoho, au contraire, my precious little bitch baby.

I don’t remember a single thing that happened within this past hour. I’m just really good at pretending to know stuff, and you’re dumb enough to believe I know what I’m doing

This one’s on you, buddy

[sybilazu]

Just saw someone quote: “he’s like the romance equivalent of a flat earther here” and I don’t know if any other phrase has entered my vocabulary so fucking fast

[sybilazu]

Fucking hate it when the existential crisis hits me mid-journey to get a glass of water

[sybilazu]

Honestly, same. But at least he’s trying (although admittedly failing) to be helpful, and not telling me how much the goddess that brought me there regrets it because of my shitty styling. So I give it a pass in that regard

Momo: Nikki-

Me: Shut the fuck up, cat. YOU ONLY RECENTLY BECAME TOLERABLE. DON’T PUSH YOUR FUCKING LUCK-

Momo: I think that resource you were looking for is nearby

Me: Oh, thank you. But also (cocks shotgun)

[sybilazu]

Momo: Nikki-

Me: Shut the fuck up, cat. YOU ONLY RECENTLY BECAME TOLERABLE. DON’T PUSH YOUR FUCKING LUCK-

Momo: I think that resource you were looking for is nearby

Me: Oh, thank you. But also (cocks shotgun)

[sybilazu]

I have a confession to make.

For an embarrassingly long time, I thought the entity ‘Jerma’ was like another Goncharov thing, where obviously only the most cultured of people had seen it

[sybilazu]

Sometimes it’s really fun to hear old stories about your ancestors.

Like I just got to hear about how, on my mom’s side, there were loads of quakers that didn’t believe in owning slaves. And the one dude that did, was ostracized and wound up dying via lightning strike, which lead to his future generations taking it as God’s way of telling them not to fucking test that theory again

[sybilazu]

You can tell how hungry for blood the tumblr userbase is this year by looking at how early in the month the Ides of March posts are being made

[sybilazu]

[sybilazu]

Come to think of it, the idea of blazing posts is funny as hell

Some random dude just decided to cast: GET PERCEIVED

And the post will just be inflicted upon anyone and everyone on this godforsaken site

[sybilazu]

I’m not feeling ‘in’ or ‘out’ of it. But a secret third thing