synbunny

[synbunny]

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want to

It was my birthday yesterday. Luckily no crying. It was actually a fairly good day. Spent time with friends on Pony Town, spent time with my sister. It went well. Hadn't really been on Pony Town much lately so it was nice to see some friends on there. Just wish I had more hours in the day. Between work, personal projects, certifications, relationships, and hobbies there isn't enough time in the day.

I do plan on posting about my Diablo II LoD mod. Maybe that will give me the motivation to work on it more. While the purpose of it is for my own use, I will be making it public just because there might be someone else who wants it. Not planning on providing much support for it though, but given my history with modding other games... I end up providing support for people regardless. Haaa.....

I'd imagine there would be people who want it on D2R. Nope. Not doing that. It's too much work and I would rather the mod be on a version that supports modded multiplayer. Besides, I can barely run D2R and wouldn't be able to test it.

[synbunny]

Kinda annoyed how people expect you to interact with family members who are toxic as fuck. If there wasn't blood relation nobody would have issue with me cutting them out but because they spawned one of the people who spawned me I must interact with them and not interacting with them must have an explanation that is "valid."

Of course me being a part of a group of people that said relative hates and thinks should burn for eternity is not a valid explanation. Neither is not wanting to deal with her manipulation. Whatever, my decision is my decision and nobody can take that away from me. I don't need to justify shit.

Otherwise today was a fun day. Had something happen at work that was very exciting to me and is making me reconsider my career path. For now though, I need to continue with my currently-planned trajectory and go for my Security+ certification since it will benefit my career either way.

Wondering when I should tell my family about my boyfriend. I worry that I got into a relationship too soon after my (much needed) breakup and some of my family will probably agree that it's too soon.

Also realized that I'll be able to upgrade my computer much sooner than I expected. Will likely be able to upgrade later this year rather than early next year. Going to go all-out for an upgrade despite only have 1080p 75Hz monitors lol. I feel like going to 120+Hz would spoil me though. I'm already able to feel the difference between 60Hz and 75Hz... The high specs with the low refresh rate monitors are future-proofing so I don't have to upgrade as often...yeah, that's what I'll say. Going to be real hard to use that excuse though when I'm playing Unreal Tournament though. I'm already maintaining a 150 FPS cap with my old-ass computer.

[synbunny]

I'm actually making use of this now after nearly 5 years. Probably a good thing since I was in an awful headspace 5 years ago. I'm still not doing well, but I am doing *better* now that I'm like...employed and shit now. I work IT help desk. Not the greatest job but I make decent money. Not enough to own a house but...I'm not optimistic in my ability to own my own place in the future.

To introduce myself...I'm a 25 (soon to be 26) year old woman living in the US working IT help desk. I love to play video games (especially ARPGs such as Diablo) and have an obsession with vocal synthesizers such as VOCALOID. My sexuality is weird and doesn't really have a proper label to apply to it. All you need to know in that regard is that I am gay as hell. The "content" that I create are mods for video games, with my current project being a Diablo II LoD mod. I'm not much of a programmer though. I just know some scripting in Python and PowerShell. My mod is mostly changing database entries and modifying miscellaneous files like animation files and tilesets.

Today was a good day though. I got a big raise (holy shit I am beating inflation now) and I recently picked up the game Starsector. It seems like the type of game I'd be super into, but the egg is a bit hard to crack. It hasn't hooked me yet but I can feel its potential to become a big-ass obsession. I've been super into games with dynamic worlds and ever-changing systems like Doors of Trithius and Soldak games. Which, I highly recommend trying Soldak's games. They look and control really jankily but they're awesome and innovative.

It's late as I write this though so I will have to try Starsector a different night. Probably not tomorrow since I need to motivate myself to clean up my apartment and I can't stay up too late on Friday since I have a couple appointments on Saturday.

I started dating a dude despite saying I would never date a dude. He's super sweet and really supportive. I don't really feel like I am good enough for him in either the looks department or just...how much affection I show. I don't really show affection in the same way as other people and when I try to it feels fake as hell and makes me feel gross. Like I don't feel genuine when I do that but my genuine self feels cold to people I guess. He's quite a bit younger than me. 4 year age gap. He keeps comparing himself to me in terms of his career but like...my dude, I was *losing* money when I was his age. I was (is?) a lazy, privileged fuck who could go to college. He's doing better than I was but he doesn't seem to see that. He's working towards a career on his own and I practically had it handed to me on a silver platter. College is easy. Doing things on your own? Hard as hell.

Well, that's all I'm going to write for tonight. I'll probably play a couple of bot matches in Unreal Tournament then go to sleep. Still one more day of work this week. Aaaaaaaa

[synbunny]

I’m Synbunny

I made this Tumblr to talk about a lot of things. Technology, video games, music, politics, whatever my little heart pleases. There is no theme to this blog other than myself, SynBunny. This is essentially a journal that I am putting up to the public for all of you to read to your heart’s content. Yes, this is narcissistic as hell.