Akishinji to me feels like being in love with your best friend in middle school, finally admitting those feelings in your first year at highschool, never feeling so right before everything is wrong again. He disappears afterwards and doesn't even say goodbye, or say your over. Even when you find him, he's distant. Of course he would be, he believes he's a murderer, that he'll hurt anyone that comes too close. You wish he'd come back home with you and ask for your help but he doesn't.
You're stubborn so you keep coming back but he's equally stubborn so he continues you push you away. You're both stuck in this cycle, neither of you want to give in to what the other says so there's not much you can do. You both don't mention what you ha(d)ve, it never comes up. You both stay like this, no new teammate enticing him back until him.
He's still plagued with gulit, he knows this won't help him but the least he can do is protect the kid he unintentionally orphaned. And all of a sudden, you have him back. And it's like he never left. Sure, there is some awkwardness, some things left unsaid between you, he still has problems problems you don't even know about at first and he refuses to elaborate on them but you don't care too much for now. You have him back and you won't lose him again. You can't lose him again.
But the universe isn't kind, you've known this for a long time yet you keep standing strong, you can't falter because then everyone else will.
But he slips away, and you crumble.
95 notes
·
View notes
Wakfu season 4: something about dimensions and some portal idk holy shit did they just name drop inglorium
Me, of rpg brainrot: Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers? Dimensional voyagers?
26 notes
·
View notes
- ̗̀ ✦ ㅤ ⸺ ㅤ 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 .
Share at least 5 songs that you associate with or remind you of your muse!
(I DID 10. I'M SORRY.)
Imaginary by Evanescence
"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos / Your reality. / I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge / The nightmare I built my own world to escape"
All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine
"Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears / I'm not feeling this situation. / Run away, try to find a safe place you can hide"
Snow White Queen by Evanescence
"I can't save your life / Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting / I'm losing my mind / And you just stand there and stare as my world divides"
The Well by The Crane Wives
"All the words I couldn't say to you / Fill up the spaces in my chest / Like spare coins, poised on the tip of my tongue / I make a wish and hold my breath"
Everybody's Fool by Evanescence
"It never was and never will be / Have you no shame? / Don't you see me? / You know you've got everybody fooled"
Teen Idle by Marina
"Adolescence didn't make sense / A little loss of innocence / The ugly years of being a fool / Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?"
The State of Dreaming by Marina
"All I want is to be wonderful / People in this town they can be so cruel"
Big God by Florence + the Machine
"Sometimes I think it's getting better / And then it gets much worse / Is it just part of the process? / Jesus Christ, it hurts. / Though I know I should know better / Well I can make this work / Is it just part of the process? / Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ it hurts"
Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + the Machine
"And in the spring I shed my skin / And it blows away with the changing wind / The water turns from blue to red / As towards the sky I offer it"
Labour by Paris Paloma
"The capillaries in my eyes are bursting / If our loved died would that be the worst thing? / For somebody I thought was my savior / You sure make me do a whole lot of labour. / The calloused skin on my hands is cracking / If our love ends would that be a bad thing? / And the silence haunts our bed chamber / You make me do too much labour."
1 note
·
View note
this ask came to me in a dream and i must speak on its behalf: what do you think about homestuck beyond canon
I think it's too early for me to have a well-formed opinion at this point, for a very specific reason.
I basically agree with the majority opinion that the post-epilogue story which would eventually become Beyond Canon is characterised by a whole lot of spite toward its target audience. Where I differ is that I don't think this is anything new; a certain sneering contempt for their audience has always been a hallmark of Andrew Hussie's work, and it's present in Homestuck right from day one. At most, Hussie getting burnt out from the Hiveswap fiasco resulted in a text that's somewhat less willing to entertain the polite fiction that its readers are in on the joke, but that's not a change – it's just saying the quiet part out loud.
The interesting part is that this contempt isn't merely undirected bile: it's motivated by a particular stance regarding the purpose of fiction. Writing a story which invites emotional investment, then turning around and calling you a stupid baby for actually becoming invested in it is one of Hussie's favoured narrative sleights of hand, but it's not the Charlie Brown-esque football pull it appears to be – or, rather, it's not only that. Lurking under it is the insistence that fictional characters are, ultimately, objects: tools for exploring a narrative space. Ironic detachment is the only "correct" way to approach works of fiction, because when you emotionally relate to a fictional character (or, heaven forfend, actually identify with one), you are fundamentally committing a category error – like you've mistaken a hat for your wife.*
To what extent Hussie actually believes any of that, and to what extent it's just a very committed bit they're doing is a fair question, but that's not important here; sincere or not, the opening stages of (what was not yet) Beyond Canon are dyed in the cloth with it. Care of the comic has subsequently been handed off to a separate creative team who, to all textual evidence, don't buy into this notion of what-fiction-is-for at all, but they're building on a foundation that's steeped in it. What we're looking at now is a serialised narrative which disagrees with its own premise. I genuinely cannot imagine what sort of flower they're expecting to grow in the soil they've been given, and I don't think we're far enough in to draw any well-supported conclusions just yet.
All of which is a very complicated way of saying that I'm just here for the show!
* With apologies to Oliver Sacks.
1K notes
·
View notes
Zutara, romance novels, and the female gaze
Okay so I’ve been thinking about the female gaze a LOT so I checked out a subreddit about romance novels, despite never having read one. I came across this meme (which was initially a Tumblr post and then got posted to Instagram and then to Reddit and I’m now bringing back to Tumblr — Internet telephone, pls never change):
And…what is The Southern Raiders, if not a platonic grovel? Katara’s pain is central to the episode. It’s central to Zuko. Zuko asks Katara what he can do to make up for his betrayal; she demands the impossible. He reads between the lines, cockblocks her brother to get the necessary information, and then waits outside her door overnight (which he also did for Iroh, the one person we know for sure he loves). He basically makes himself a receptacle for her rage, and he holds space for her by coming with her on her revenge quest and carrying their bags and not saying a damn thing about what she should and should not do beyond like…asking her to rest. And obviously the grovel works! She forgives him and then they’re thick as thieves, bantering and fighting and saving each other’s lives, etc.
On a different note, I’ve been told that enemies to lovers is one of the biggest tropes in romance novels, similar to YA lit and fanfic. Here’s something else I found in the romance novel discourse:
And…yeah. In TSR, Katara really does show Zuko her worst self, because she doesn’t feel the need to perform for him. She doesn’t feel the need to perform moral perfection OR cold blooded vengeance. She bloodbends in front of him and he just goes with it. She doesn’t kill Yon Rha and he just goes with it. He doesn’t treat her any differently afterwards. Maybe they talk about it off screen, but I kind of like the idea that they don’t, because Katara doesn’t need to explain anything.
And it’s so interesting, because some people in the ATLA fandom have a totally different read on TSR. They think Zuko was encouraging Katara to get revenge (by what, keeping his mouth shut?), and that Aang is the one who acts as her moral compass. I believe that either Bryan or Mike said in the DVD commentary that Aang is the angel on her shoulder the entire time. And this interpretation does make sense if you see it from the male gaze, where Katara as an object of affection is acting in an angry, irrational, threatening way. But if you see it from the female gaze, you recognize that actually it’s probably the most emotionally taxing experience Katara has to go through, and she doesn’t owe it to be nice or perfect to anybody. Katara’s formative trauma literally comes to a head, and she has to make a decision — no, a discovery — about who she is in relation to the tragedy that defines her life and even her identity (as a waterbender, as a parentified child who becomes the mom friend, as a genocide victim), and she’s accompanied by someone who trusts her judgement and validates her feelings.
I’m not saying TSR is explicitly romantically coded, but when it conforms so well to romance novel tropes…is it any wonder that so many people thought “yes this is her man?” And then he takes lightning in the heart for her and reaches for her when he’s literally dying, I will never be normal about that either
2K notes
·
View notes