#//this hits even harder knowing she sees him OUT of the psych ward too and says her last goodbyes and everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eddiemunsonsmum · 2 years

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Help | Part 2 - Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Fem OC | Eddie Munson x Karmen Jones

Read Part 1

Summery: Eddie's mental health has been suffering since the events of The Upside-Down. So he's secretly turned back to an unhealthy coping mechanism from his past. But when he accidentally goes too far after a sleepless night, he reaches out to Uncle Wayne for help. Wayne decides he needs to take a drastic step to make sure his nephew is safe.

The works in this series [She Feels Like Home] are being posted out of order and therefore can be read as stand-alone fics.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Female OC

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Health Crisis, Self-Harm, Blood, Injury, Emergency Room, Hospital, Drug Use, Medication, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Idealization, Not an actual suicide attempt, Hospitalization, Psych Ward

Words: 6670

A/N: Please let me know if you liked this. Like PLEASE. I promise I’ll love you forever. I write this series primarily to get it out of my head. So I write and post as inspiration hits. Although this fic actually does take place just a few weeks after Drop Out.

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Part 2

Karmen waited nervously at the nurses desk under a large sign that read: Psych Ward. She’d found where she needed to be easily as it was the only wing of the hospital with obnoxious signage. Even the E.R was harder to find.

She couldn’t speak from experience but guessed pretty accurately that it did them absolutely no favors in the way of patient morale. There was no way that restraining someone and dragging them against their will down a hallway and under a large judgemental sign, bolstered their spirits.

“Who are you here for?” The nurse behind the desk asked as she clicked the end of her pen repeatedly. Fingers tapping against the desk with it as she searched the patient log.

“Munson.” Karmen replied, hands clasped awkwardly in front of her as she leaned heavy on one leg.

“Edward?” The woman asked, looking up at her from above her glasses. A finger trained on the page underneath her.

“Yes.” Karmen replied, with a nod. The woman looked back down at her paperwork, tutting to herself. She rose her head again and smiled an exaggerated smirk.

“Room 3.” She replied, almost sympathetically. Karmen nodded, not wanting to thank her but unable to stop herself.

“Thanks.” She ground out, looking up at the room numbers and taking a few steps towards room 3.

“Careful.” The nurse warned. “He bites.” She said flatly, a smatter of chuckling making Karmen’s blood boil as she stomped towards Eddie’s room.

She could see him from outside the room. Most of the walls were just large windows so that nurses could have a better time keeping an eye on patients. They had no privacy. No dignity.

He hadn’t noticed her yet. Lying on his side in his sheet-less bed. He traced the pattern on the mattress under him with one of his fingers. He’d only been there for two days but somehow he looked more tired and sick than he had before. He was pale and the dark circles around his eyes were accentuated by the change in skin tone. His eyes were red and lips chapped. Potentially dehydrated from crying. Something that shouldn’t be able to happen to him in the hospital. He looked downright miserable.

Karmen took a calming breath. Her anger at the nurses and her anguish at seeing her love in such pain was not what he needed from her right now. Although she was sure he would appreciate her solidarity, he needed her to be calm.

She opened the door, stepping into the room with a knock against the frame. Eddie didn’t look up, obviously not expecting her but instead a doctor.

“Eddie.” She said softly. His head snapping up instantly, surprised eyes locking on to her.

He sat up quickly, holding out his arms in a way that broke her heart. She crossed the room quickly, engulfing him in a hug and feeling his arms close possessively around her frame. His forehead rested on her shoulder. His cheek grazing hers as he swallowed several times to try and keep down the feelings.

“Hey?” She whispered against his ear. Swaying their bodies together and rocking him gently as she spoke. “How’ve you been?” She asked, despite herself. She knew he hadn’t been having a good time. That much was obvious. But what else was one meant to ask in this situation?

Eddie didn’t reply properly, instead nuzzling into her neck and holding her impossibly tight as he mumbled about how much he had missed her.

Karmen moved one hand to pet him gently. Stroking up and down his back, along his arms and up his neck. Playing for a little while in his unruly curls before settling on the back of his head and gently massaging his scalp.

He hummed against her. The small comfort sending sparks of pleasure coursing through his veins. He needed her so badly right now but lacked the words to express himself. Scared that even if he managed to, his desperation would frighten her.

He hadn’t expected anyone to visit him.

Not that Karmen or Wayne had given him a reason to not expect them. They had sacrificed nearly all of their free time after his 'accident'. Spending it with him in the hospital. But that was just it. He had been in the hospital for a very long time and Karmen and Wayne both worked. He was only here for 2 days this time. He figured they wouldn't feel the need to visit during such a short stay.

“Can I go home yet?” Eddie asked softly, tugging at Karmen’s heart and making her hold him a little tighter.

“One more day.” She answered gently, making sure to keep her hands moving, keeping the comfort constant.

The doctors had told Karmen and Wayne that it was best to refrain from visiting him too much. Not at all would be ideal. They needed to monitor him on his own and record his behaviors and symptoms so that they could accurately determine if the medications they were putting him on were working. They worried his mood would shift too rapidly to tell what was really going on if he had visitors in and out.

They’d both felt terrible for betraying his trust like that. Both for leaving him there in the first place and then not visiting the next day as well. But they figured that they needed to do whatever was going to be best for him. Whatever was likely to give the best results in the quickest fashion to try and prevent them from having to hurt him again.

They’d talked about it after they left. Deciding that only one of them would visit and only once. It was only three days. Eddie could do without seeing both of them.

“So…” Karmen began, not sure how to go about what she needed to tell him. Eddie sensed her hesitation, his heart rate picking up as he pulled away and looked at her with fearful eyes. “Wayne and I have been talking.” She started again. Taking advantage of his loose hold and moving herself to sit on the edge of the bed. Her hands still trailing every part of him she could reach lightly as she spoke. “We were thinking that maybe when you get out, you could come and stay with me for a while.”

Eddie frowned at her, feeling his heart sink. Tears welling in his eyes. He’d finally done it. It’d taken years but he’d finally gotten on Wayne’s last nerve. Caused him so much fucking grief that he couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Hey…” Karmen cooed, shaking her head at the sight of tears. “No, no Honey.” She whispered, cupping his face and wiping at them with her thumbs. She knew what he was thinking already. “If you want to go back home you can. You’re always welcome there Eddie.” She assured him with a nod. “It’s just…” She paused, taking in a breath. “We know that.. nighttime is hard for you and Wayne can’t switch to days right now. He.. he’s tried. He wanted to do that for you. We just don’t think you should be spending all night alone anymore.”

Eddie was quiet for a long time. Fiddling with his fingers as he thought. There was a lot he wanted to say or maybe, not wanted to. But felt like he needed to.

He felt so guilty for all of this. He’d never even had a chance to explain himself. Not ready to talk about it all that morning. Too fresh, too… real. Then he’d been ripped away, poked and prodded.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. Refusing to look up from his hands as she tried to comfort him. “I didn’t… Uh shit.” He paused, feeling his breathing pick up as he thought back on the day before.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Karmen began, sensing the impending panic attack and wanted to curb it before it started. Eddie shook his head as she spoke, he needed to talk. He didn’t know how long he had with her and he needed to get it out.

“I didn’t…” He took a heavy breath. “Didn’t mean to… Do this.” He explained, gesturing to his bandaged arm. “I didn’t know what I was doing I… I took something.” He said softly, looking up at her from his downcast position and searching her eyes for disappointment.

“Something?” She asked after a moment, his large brown orbs staring into hers intently.

“A drug.” He corrected, voice croaky. The realization played on her face and he felt his brow twitch as she furrowed hers.

“You got high and started…” She paused, lowering her voice. “Cutting yourself?”

Eddie shook his head quickly, swallowing and grabbing hold of one of her hands to stop its roaming. He needed her to just hold him for a minute. Bringing the hand to his face he leaned against it needily.

“I.. I took something to sleep and it didn’t work and then I…” His sentence broke with a sob against her knuckles. “I did the… the other thing that I do sometimes to sleep.” He choked out, gesturing to his injured forearm. “But I… The drug it… I didn’t know how deep.” He cried, tears falling against Karmen’s hand as she pulled him to her again. The hand he was holding trapped between them as she petted his back and whispered in his ear that it was okay and how much she loved him.

Eddie was so ashamed to admit to her that he had been self-harming. The thought of people knowing made him feel itchy and he was scared that now everyone would know. All his friends and enemies. As if Karmen or Wayne would ever tell a soul about his private issues. It was an irrational fear and he knew it. But somehow that just made it worse. The fact that he couldn’t stop worrying despite knowing how silly he was being.

“It’s okay, Eds.” Karmen assured him. “I’m here for you Sweetheart and we’re gonna do all we can to try and make things better okay?” She asked, sounding close to tears herself. Eddie nodded against her, not trusting his voice to respond as he hitched and stammered his way through too many breaths.

It took him a long while to calm down. Relishing in her comfort while he had it instead of squandering it being happy and then spending all his time alone desperately sad and wishing to be held.

He’d said what he needed to. Albeit not nearly as coherently as he’d have liked to. He was pretty sure she understood and he hoped she’d pass the message on to Wayne to save him the awkward task of explaining himself.

As Eddie finally began to calm properly, they were interrupted by the door to the room opening. Eddie had jumped at the sound, wrapping his arms around Karmen’s and holding her in place as if he would need to fight off the staff from physically dragging her away.

He relaxed a little as he realized it was his doctor. The man greeted Karmen politely, recognising her from the ER.

“I’ve just come to talk to Eddie about what will happen when he’s released tomorrow.” The man said with a smile. “I’ve been updating his uncle but I can give you the rundown too if you’d like.”

Karmen smiled at him. Shaking her head and explaining that she had been keeping in touch with Wayne. The man understood, getting down to business and explaining to Eddie about the medications he had been put on. They’d said he was responding well enough for him to be released but he’d need to follow up with a psych to make sure dosages were right.

“The thing is with this specific medication though. The body gets used to it over a period of a few weeks. So we do recommend that patients drive as little as possible but preferably not at all in that probationary period.” He explained.

Eddie’s eyes flicked to Karmen’s nervously. Of course they’d recommended he didn’t drive. So not only would he be staying in a home where he didn’t belong but he wouldn’t be able to leave. Go out for a bit and afford Karmen some peace and privacy.

Karmen squeezed his hand reassuringly. Encouraging him to look back up at her and smiling sympathetically when he did so before mouthing words to let him know it was okay. She knew what it was like to lose her autonomy. It fucking sucked to rely on someone else every time you needed something. But she really didn’t mind taking care of him if he’d let her.

“The other thing is food. It’s imperative that these are taken with food and that means a proper meal Eddie, not just some snack.” He chided lightly. Eddie nodded in understanding, still not making eye contact with the doctor. Wishing he had his rings to fiddle with. “Other than that it’s the usual, no alcohol, no drugs. You know the drill.” The doctor finished, turning to Karmen and asking if she would be collecting him the next day. She replied that Wayne would be.

The doctor left shortly after and reminded them that visits should be kept short for the wellbeing of the patient. Karmen agreed with him, feeling like a complete asshole when she saw the look on Eddie’s face.

“I don’t want to leave.” She clarified, running a hand over his arm. “I want to stay or take you home with me.” He said with a laugh. “But I have to do what’s best for you my love.” She sighed, pulling him into a hug and feeling sick to her stomach when he didn’t hug back.

She placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away and holding him at arm's length for a moment. He looked at her with a broken expression. He was all eyes and in this moment those eyes were wet and bloodshot. A gut-wrenching sight. No one so pretty should ever have to feel so much pain.

He fell towards her suddenly, giving in on his strike and wrapping his arms around her waist as he tried to get as close to her as possible. Sniffling and sobbing as she rocked him back and forth like she had when she’d first entered the room.

Eventually she managed to pry herself away. Feeling like the protagonist in a movie about a wild animal. The part where they always end up having to tell the animal to leave for their own good. Standing there pointing and saying things like ‘I’ve never even loved you! Get out of here you dumb mutt!’. But instead it was just little old her and Eddie fucking Munson. The most kind, generous, beautiful hearted person she’d ever met and she was betraying him again for the third time in a week.

She just hoped he would be able to forgive her by the next night.

Wayne had forced an awkward hug on Eddie when he’d seen him in the hospital this morning. The two men, while close, weren’t really big on open displays of affection. The Munsons loved each other quietly and for the most part they liked it that way.

But after Wayne had seen Eddie in distress three days earlier he had begun to wonder if maybe he had been doing it wrong all this time. Had Eddie been quietly suffering because Wayne himself was not one to show affection?

He’d spent a lot of time lying in bed not sleeping and thinking instead about what he could do to make life better for Eddie. The one thing that seemed to keep popping up despite his desperate attempts to tamp it down was… affection.

So they had hugged. Eddie standing there in his hospital attire, moving his hands awkwardly before finally deciding to settle them on Wayne’s back. He was rigid at first, most likely surprised. But after a second or two the kid had melted into the hug and Wayne had needed a moment to compose himself. In his mind he had been right, Eddie had been missing out for him and the thought damn near broke his old heart.

Wayne had handed him the fresh clothes he’d brought and Eddie had left to change. The nurse returned the t-shirt, sweatpants and assortment of rings that Eddie had been wearing when he was admitted to Wayne. He pocketed the jewelry and tucked the clothes under his arm.

When Eddie returned, Wayne signed some paperwork for them both and Eddie was allowed to leave. They then went around to the pharmacy and put in Eddie’s scripts. Waiting for his medication to be dispensed before heading back to Wayne’s truck.

Once they were on the road, Wayne felt a sense of unease in the air. He suspected Eddie was reflecting on the last time he’d sat in the vehicle and when he turned to look at his nephew he knew he was right. Eddie was slumped against the window the same way he had been that morning. Not looking at anything in particular as he wrung his hands together in his lap.

“You know Eddie…” Wayne began, catching the young man’s attention. He looked over at him and Wayne gave him a small smile before turning his focus back to the road. “You can always come to me.” He said simply, hoping that it was enough.

Eddie watched him for a few moments, looking confused before he put the pieces together.

“Oh.” He muttered, looking down at his lap. “I know that.” He replied, picking at his fingernails.

“It don’t matter what it is either.” Wayne continued, hands tensing on the wheel. “You can tell me about it. I won’t get angry or make you feel bad.”

“I know.” Eddie said quietly, not looking up. Wayne sighed, unable to stop himself and regretting it when he saw Eddie flinch. If he knew that he could come to him and didn’t, it probably meant he was too ashamed to talk to anyone.

“Please, come to me if you need help. I’m always there for you.” The older man concluded. Not wanting to dig any further.

“Do you want me to move out?” Eddie asked quietly, unable to stop the way his hands trembled as he tried to distract himself with them. There was a small silence after Eddie asked his question, the click of the indicator breaking it as Wayne pulled over to the side of the road. Eddie looked up at Wayne fearfully. Sure that this was it. He was finally being left on the side of the road like a fucking dog.

To Eddie’s surprise Wayne unbuckled his belt and pulled him into another uncomfortable hug. The younger man rested his face on his uncle’s shoulder. Unable to stop the way he sobbed against the fabric.

“Never.” Wayne assured him with strong pets on the back. “Well… Unless there comes a time where you want to of course.” He added with a chuckle. “I told you when you was a scrawny little child, you’re always welcome in my home, Kid.” Wayne reminded him, doing Eddie the service of ignoring his sharp cry.

The older man pulled away, giving Eddie’s shoulder one last pet before righting himself in his seat. Eddie followed suit, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve and turning back to the road as he regulated his stammered breathing.

“But I’ll tell you what, Kid.” Wayne said matter-of-factly as he turned back onto the highway. “You’d better move in with that Karmen eventually. She’s a good woman. You’re very lucky.” He smiled. Genuinely so proud of Eddie for finding himself someone kind.

Eddie laughed at that. Shaking his head as he thought about what Karmen would say about Wayne’s declaration.

“I’d marry her if she’d let me.” Eddie admitted. Feeling dumb when Wayne didn’t say anything immediately.

“She’s just worried about you, Ed.” The older man replied, catching Eddie off guard.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Wayne began, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t speak on it. “You have your insecurities and she has hers.” He said with a shrug. “She’s worried you’d regret it. Get to thirty and realise you fucked up your life by proposing at 21 to the first girl you seen up close.” He laughed, making Eddie frown. “Give her time. Just, keep reminding her how much you love her.” He said finally, leaning over to turn up the radio before Eddie could say anything else.

Eddie watched Wayne out of the corner of his eye. The older man slowly bobbing his head to the pop music on the radio.

How the hell did he know that?

It seemed Wayne had his own secrets.

When they arrived home from the hospital, Eddie headed straight for his room. Wayne didn’t comment as his nephew disappeared. Knowing he’d be back in a matter of seconds with anger in his eyes.

“What did you do?” Eddie asked in exasperation as Wayne settled himself on the couch. The older man sighed, turning to look at Eddie with a knowing expression. The younger man standing between the kitchen and dining table with a scowl on his face.

“Eddie…” He began, tiredly. Watching as Eddie’s fists clenched by his sides.

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” Eddie ground out angrily. Narrowing his eyes at the man and clenching his jaw to stop more words from spilling out.

“I know.” Wayne sighed, sitting up straighter and resting his forearms on his knees. “But that’s the problem isn’t it Ed?” He asked rhetorically, watching as Eddie shifted uncomfortably. “It happened and it weren’t even on purpose.” Wayne said in exasperation. “Imagine what you could do if you wanted to with all them... Sharp things in there…” He said softly, trailing off as Eddie crossed his arms over his chest.

“All my stuff is gone!” He shouted, shaking with anger as the sting of yet another betrayal made his gut churn.

“No. Some of your stuff is gone.” Wayne corrected, waving a finger. “Just anything that could be used as a weapon.”

“It’s empty!” Eddie argued.

“It’s clean.” Wayne countered. “Your stuff is packed and put away where it should be, Eddie. Not my fault you ain’t seen it that way in years.”

“You…” Eddie started, tone fiery before he seemed to deflate out of nowhere. “You just went through all my stuff…” He said softly, sounding hurt. He didn’t really have anything to hide. He kept his door open most of the time and didn’t care if Wayne slept in his bed when he was away from home. For all intents and purposes he shouldn’t care at all. Wayne had seen the worst of him so many times over the years. But for some reason this particular slight felt different. It made him feel icky to imagine Wayne going through his things and deciding what he was and wasn’t allowed to keep. Like he was a kid again.

“I’m sorry.” Wayne said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Was for your own good.” Eddie looked at him with a wounded expression. He knew the older man wasn’t actually sorry. The apology just to sate his irritation and avoid an argument.

Eddie didn’t speak again, turning on his heel and heading back to his room. Wayne watched him go, feeling guilty for upsetting him but justifying it with the fact it was in his best interests. He hadn’t actually taken anything from Eddie’s room except literal knives and other assorted blades. Everything else he considered dangerous had been boxed up and placed in the very back of his closet. He could find it all if he wanted to.

Karmen had helped him clean up and move things but there was no way in any kind of fresh Hell that Wayne was disclosing that information. She had moved or disposed of anything she felt Eddie wouldn’t want Wayne to see or touch. Including his stash of drugs which she hid in the bottom of a dresser while Wayne looked on disapprovingly. She had told him that she would let Eddie know where it was if he needed it for money. But otherwise they both hoped he wouldn’t even realize it was missing.

Eddie slumped himself down on his bed. Freshly made with new sheets, quilt and pillow cases. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. Eyes running over the small divots in the plaster from where he’d scuffed it as a kid swinging wooden swords around on the bed.

He fucking hated this. Being sick was such an isolating experience. He knew that Wayne meant well. But nothing said ‘welcome home from the psych ward, I don’t think you should have been released’ quite like taking away all the sharp objects in the house.

Eddie sighed, pulling himself into bed properly and deciding he would try and sleep. The new medicine he was on had started to work better on his last night in the hospital. He’d gotten a little more sleep than he had the other nights but it still wasn’t much.

He curled himself into the blankets. Rattling off a list in his head of his hobbies and what would be required of him to engage in one of them now. They all suddenly seemed so strenuous. He was feeling a bit too hollow at this moment to try and do any of them.

It was late afternoon when Wayne awoke to his alarm clock going off. It was time to get up and get ready for work. He pulled himself out from under his blanket and sat on the edge of his cot in the living room. Stretching languidly his eyes drifted to the tv which was playing softly. He remembered turning it off before he laid down so figured Eddie had been watching it while he slept.

He looked over to the couch, frowning as his eyes fell to Eddie’s figure, curled up towards the end closest to him. He had brought out the covers from his bed and was now asleep, wrapped in them like a cocoon.

Wayne stood, feeling his heart ache at the sight. He had given Eddie the bedroom when he’d moved in all those years ago. Wanting the kid to have a space to call his own. A place for him to go when the world got too much for him and he just needed a moment alone. He wanted Eddie to have privacy and be able to have friends and relationships that he didn’t feel forced to parade in front of Wayne. But even though Eddie had been so grateful for the sacrifice he had made. When Wayne was working day shift, he still to this day woke up at least once a month with Eddie sleeping somewhere near him.

The kid always made out like it was because he didn’t have a tv in his room but Wayne knew deep down it was for the company. It was the nightmares and feelings of despair that came along with them, that had Eddie dragging his bedding into the living room to be close to his only family.

It had been happening less since Eddie met Karmen and Wayne was happier for it. Not having to worry so much about Eddie feeling lonely.

A knock on the door pulled Wayne from his thoughts. Glancing back at his alarm clock he realized it would be Karmen. They had agreed she would pick Eddie up after she finished work and before he left. The less time Eddie was alone, the better.

He opened the door and greeted her with a tired smile. Inviting her in and gesturing towards the couch. Karmen asked how he had been and Wayne explained Eddie’s little outburst when they had arrived home. She nodded knowingly. They had already discussed how they thought he would react and they had been right. Karmen felt her gut clench at the knowledge. That meant he really wasn’t going to like that she had also cleaned out her place.

Wayne left her to go and get ready for work. Karmen waved him off before crossing the room and sitting down on the small sliver of couch next to Eddie. She touched his arm gently, not wanting to startle him. Her palm running gently along the exposed skin on his bicep and up to his shoulder. She petted gently up the side of the neck and over the fresh scar on his cheek.

Her fingers raked through his fringe, scratching at his scalp gently. Eddie hummed in his sleep, pressing against the touch and she smiled to herself at the peaceful look on his face.

“Hey baby?” She whispered, petting his cheek with the back of her hand and watching as his eyes began to flutter open. “Hey.” She breathed as his eyes flicked to her quickly. He jerked away from her hand before his vision focused and he realized who it was. He let go of a heavy breath, slumping back against the couch as he closed his eyes once more and let her continue to pet him.

“Hey.” He croaked eventually. His hand making its way out from under the blanket to grab for hers. She let him pull her away, holding their hands together against his chest as he woke up properly.

“Where would you like to stay tonight?” Karmen asked gently, squeezing his hand as he pushed himself into a sitting position and gave her a confused look.

“Like I have a choice?” He said bitterly, somewhere between a statement and a question.

“Of course you have a choice.” Karmen replied quickly, pulling his hand to her face and giving it a kiss as he looked at her with sad eyes.

“Thought you said I was staying at yours.” He muttered, looking down.

“Well yeah, but only because it would be easier for me to drive you around.”

Eddie cringed at her words. Frowning at his knees as he picked at the carpet with his bare feet.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t stay here sometimes.” Karmen continued, watching him fidget and wondering which part of what she had said was bothering him the most. It was always easy to tell when Eddie’s anxiety was running rampant. He couldn’t sit still at the best of times. But when he was anxious, nervous or uncomfortable you’d better believe that man could squirm.

“Not like I have anywhere to go anyway…” Eddie said eventually, still looking down at his own body rather than into her eyes. Karmen sighed softly, running her thumb along the back of his hand.

“Come on.” She instructed softly, tugging on his hand as she stood and encouraging him to follow her. He did so without questioning. Letting himself be led to his bedroom and watching as she began to gather some of his things. “You wanna bring your music stuff?” She asked, deciding for him that they were staying at her place as per the original plan.

Eddie shook his head. Not answering verbally. He didn’t feel like bringing any of his things. He didn’t want to do any of it. Didn’t want to look at any of it. None of it mattered anymore.

Karmen looked at him sadly. Moving on and continuing to grab his clothes and toiletries. She piled them on the bed. Turning to his desk and grabbing the notebooks and other things there and adding them to the pile.

She paused at the set of dice and the wooden dice tower that Eddie had made for d&d, looking them over with admiration before picking them up and placing them next to his other things.

“I don’t need that.” Eddie interjected from the other side of the room. Walking around the bed and inching closer to her as she picked through his other d&d things and put them on the bed as well.

“You never know.” She replied with a shrug. Picking up his acoustic guitar from the corner and throwing her head back in exasperation as she turned towards the bed and Eddie took it from her.

“I don’t need it.” He reiterated. Putting the guitar down and glaring at the pile of stuff on top of his mattress. “I don’t need any of it.” He said a little louder. Biting at his bottom lip as he felt the burn of fresh tears in his eyes. “I don’t…” He began, turning to her with a pleading expression. “I don’t have any… Friends.” He gasped out. Dam breaking as she swooped in and wrapped her arms around him quickly.

Eddie cried into her shoulder. His own shaky hands snaking around her back and holding her so tight she had to ration her breaths.

“You have so many wonderful friends, Eds.” Karmen whispered into his ear. Wiggling herself so his arms fell lower and she was able to breath a little more freely. “So many people love you.” She assured him. Hands running up and down his back in comforting strokes.

“They’re all fucking kids.” Eddie choked out. Sobbing against her. “No… No friends my age or… anyone that wants to… hang out…” He gasped, trailing off. He was just so fucking lonely. He had the kids but they didn’t understand the struggles of adult life. Still living firmly under their parents' roofs. Every meal was provided and cooked fresh. Allowance in hand as they spent their free weekends doing whatever the hell they wanted because they didn’t need to figure out how to pay the bills yet.

Sure Eddie still lived with Wayne. But he had been trying to figure out how to pay the damn bills she was their age. Doing shitty, illegal things to bring in some money and help pay his way.

Wayne hardly ever cooked for them. Not because he didn’t want to or didn’t care but because the only meal they really shared was breakfast and that was if Eddie was lucky. Otherwise he cooked for himself. Cooking was a strong word. He heated things for himself.

As for allowance. Eddie didn’t know the meaning of the word. He worked for any money Wayne gave him and he was grateful for every cent of it. Again it wasn’t because Wayne didn’t care or didn’t want to spoil him. It was simply a lack of leftover funds that stopped his uncle from giving Eddie everything he ever wanted.

“What about… What about Corroded Coffin?” Karmen asked softly, knowing it was a touchy subject. Eddie shook his head against her neck. His hands fisting in her shirt as he cried.

The older members of Hellfire had hurt Eddie really bad a few weeks back. Eddie had only told her about it once and she hadn’t asked since. Quietly hoping it would work itself out.

When Eddie first returned to school. Determined to get his diploma this year despite everything. He wasn’t going to subject himself to another entire year of school. Graduation had been fast approaching and he knew deep down it was now or never.

At lunch he’d sat in his usual spot at the head of the table. The freshmen were already there and Max sat with them as a new addition. Eddie had been really glad to see her. When their break was half over and there was still no sign of Garreth, Jeff or Craig, Eddie had casually made a comment about it. Everyone had gone quiet and it was then that he’d realized they weren’t coming.

They’d tried to explain to Eddie gently that since the whole Chrissy thing the older members of Hellfire had been targeted relentlessly by the bullies. They’d said that they knew Eddie didn’t do it and had defended him at first. But basically self preservation had kicked in.

Eddie had been hurt but pretended like he was fine. As was his usual way of dealing with things. He’d left the cafeteria and gone on to his next class like nothing had happened.

He’d met up with them in the parking lot after school and accosted them about ditching him. They had been apologetic but basically what it boiled down to was that Eddie wasn’t worth it to them.

They hadn’t said it quite like that. There was a lot more stumbling and tripping over themselves. But that was how Eddie heard it. The bullies had made their lives hell and instead of putting up with it until they got bored, they had moved from the Hellfire table.

The kids had given them shit for it. Knowing Eddie would be hurt. But ultimately that didn’t matter. He was a great DM. But there were plenty of great DMs in the world and plenty of amazing guitarists too.

“So you’re done with me?” Eddie had asked venomously. “Guess that’s the end of Corroded Coffin?” He’d spat. Looking between them as they shuffled nervously.

It was the end of Corroded Coffin. They’d already found themselves a new guitarist and a new name. The poster they’d put on the bulletin board inside the school was gone and replaced with a new one that had their new frontman’s face on it.

Eddie had been hurt by people that he thought were his friends in the past. But nothing stung quite like that conversation. The realization that he really was nothing to them other than a story-teller and songwriter. He hadn’t made it much farther after talking to them. Heading to his van to drive home as he processed the news. But instead slumping onto the backseat and crying long into the night.

It hadn’t been until Karmen had come looking for him that he had realized how long he’d been wallowing in his own despair. She’d grown concerned when she hadn’t heard from him about how his first day back had gone. After several unanswered calls she’d driven to the trailer and found it empty. Before going back to the one place she knew he’d been that day and finding him hiding out.

They’d talked for a long time that night about what Eddie wanted from life. What would make him happy. What made him unhappy. What would fix it. There was a lot to work on and Karmen wanted to be there for him to make sure he made it through.

Karmen gently pried herself out of Eddie’s grip. Her hands coming up to cup his cheeks as they so often did when he was hurting. Eddie continued to sob as his own hands rose to wipe at his face with the back of his wrists.

She watched him spread tears across his cheeks and leaned in to kiss them. Planting gentle, reassuring kisses all over his face. Not missing the fresh scar on his cheek that she knew he was incredibly self-conscious of.

“You’re gonna get through this baby.” She whispered, lips pressing against his tenderly. “You’re gonna come out the other side and you’re gonna thrive.” She assured him, nodding as he looked at her skeptically. Breath hitching as he tried to control it. “You’re gonna be fucking famous.” She smiled, making him snort and close his eyes. A small smile quirking his lips. “You’re gonna take the world by storm and everyone and their Mother is gonna know the name Eddie Munson for good. Because he’s a fucking badass and the most wonderful, kind, generous and absolutely stunningly sexy person I know.” She said firmly, a chuckle following as Eddie’s smile finally shone through and a huff of laughter passed through his lips.

“Don’t want any of that unless you’re there with me.” He said huskily. Doe eyes blinking at her with clumpy lashes. A question lingering in the air as she grinned at him. Moving in to kiss him again, this time passionately. His arms suddenly constricting her again as he kissed her back hungrily.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” She replied between kisses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please PLEASE reblog or comment if you liked this, it means the world to me! Makes my whole week. I’ll love you forever. :)

Read the rest of the series here :)

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erazonpo3 · 3 years

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WOWM

so What Once Was Mine came out and I read it.

My General Thoughts are that this book was something of a rollercoaster but in like a pop up carnival with dubious safety regulations and diseases in the DIY log flume water kind of way. I had some fun reading it but I also feel like I picked up a rash.

If you're like me and you enjoy picking a book apart for morsels of interesting concepts then you might enjoy it, if you think holy shit why the fuck is a literal real historical serial killer in this book I need to see this then you might enjoy it, if you care about engaging plots and character beats then you probably won't.

If you want to ask me anything specific go ahead, but otherwise for more in depth thoughts: spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of the Plot

Okay so here's the deal. The story has the framing device of two siblings in a cancer ward, where one tells the other a story. I'll get into that later, but that's how it starts. Our actual story starts with a pretty long prologue: We learn that the King & Queen got the Moonflower thinking it was the Sunflower, Rapunzel was born with silver hair, and then baby Rapunzel kills a maid who accidentally hurt her when brushing her hair.

Oh, by the way, Max is a human man named Justin Tregsburg. Yeah.

Anyway, the royal family puts out feelers for legit witches who can safely take care of Rapunzel because the baby is too dangerous, and Gothel shows up to take her away. Queen Arianna visits Rapunzel once (but is only allowed to watch through a peephole) and decides watching another woman raise her child is too painful and throws herself into restoring the kingdom's orphanages instead.

Now we're in the present. Rapunzel is nineteen and she wants to go and see the lanterns (a mourning tradition of the Dead princess in this story). She tries to argue with Gothel but gets shut down, and Gothel makes her kill a chicken to prove the point that she can't go outside because she's too dangerous. However we as the audience already know Gothel plans to sell Rapunzel off as a bride or a servant or a weapon to some other nobles, because she's evil.

Also by the way Gothel still has access to our Sundrop Flower and is using it to live forever that's just a thing that happens in the background.

When Gothel is gone Rapunzel watches as a man (Flynn) stores a satchel in a tree outside of her tower, and that motivates her to leave the tower for the first time. Then she goes back inside the tower with her prize of a crown, and a skink she found and named Pascal. Rapunezl and Gothel have another spat, and Rapunzel decides she will run off to see the lanterns and she will find Flynn and make him her guide.

She ends up at the Snuggly Duckling and she doesn't find Flynn but she does find Gina, a young career criminal girl looking to break the glass ceiling. Gina agrees to help her find Flynn. They find Flynn, and he agrees to help guide Rapunzel to see the floating lanterns for a split reward of the crown with Gina.

The Snuggly Duckling gets burned down by Countess Bathory (yes that Elizabeth Bathory) and the Pub Thugs are pissed about it and also they're helping Rapunzel even though she didn't sing the I've Got A Dream song don't worry about it. We learn that the nobles that wanted to buy Rapunzel are now hunting her down so she can go to auction.

Gina takes them to her adopted mother's cottage. Gina's mother is a white witch, who goes by the name of Goodwife. She doesn't get an actual name she's just The Goodwife. Anyhow, the cottage is a magic safe space (for now) and Goodwife teaches Rapunzel that her hair isn't inherently evil and may not even be all that deadly! Rapunzel learns that her hair has other powers too, like the ability to turn skink Pascal into a sentient Chameleon. Yeah.

Also Goodwife tells Rapunzel she's the dead princess but this isn't like, an immediate call to action. Not a lot happens until we get this story's version of the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Gothel finds Rapunzel again but has to flee, but this Rapunzel has a bigger support network and isn't buying it. Flynn and Gina decide the safest course of action is to bring Rapunzel to the castle, but along the way she gets kidnapped by the Countess.

Gothel is pissed because she still wants the money for Rapunzel, so she rallies the armies of all the opposing bidders. Flynn and Gina convince Max the Man to send for his troops, and he joins them in going to the enemy castle. Flynn tries to sneak in, gets caught, and meanwhile there's a bloody battle out the front between the noble armies. Max jumps into the fray, Gina turns around and rallies the Pub Thugs.

Rapunzel uses her shrinking magic (!) to disappear half the castle and escape with Eugene, and the Pub Thugs arrive and basically end the battle. The Captain is dying but it's okay! Rapunzel turns him into a horse :) Also Rapunzel sees Gothel and tells her to fuck off.

The story ends with a tearful reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, Eugene and Gina are implied to be biological siblings, and things are good but of course in direct parallel to Cass Gina leaves at the end to become an adventurer. The end.

(There are a few other smaller plot beats, but you get the idea.)

MY THOTS

So here are my thoughts™.

Framing Device

I'll just state that I didn't like that the story was told via the vehicle of an older brother telling his 16 year old sister a different version of the Tangled Movie in a cancer ward. From what I've heard it also isn't normal for the Twisted Tales series to use a framing device for the AUs either.

I sympathise with the author's personal story, of course I do. That doesn't mean I'm stirred with compassion every time the flow of the story is interrupted to remind you to be sad because this is a story being told to a girl sick with cancer. It feels more than a little tragedy-porny rather than emotionally touching, and maybe that's because I'm too burnt out on real life tragedy to waste emotional energy on fictional cancer patients but we don't need to do Fault In Our Stars discourse again.

Real World References

This story goes heavy with Real World references. And another issue with the framing device as above is that you do feel like this is a story being told by someone namedropping every historical figure they know which makes it harder to get into the story.

There's like... a lot of references to Christianity, particularly in the prologue. There's a priest that thinks Rapunzel's hair is the work of the Devil or whatever. It's a lot. The Patriarchy is a thing. And that's not even getting into the Countess. I put it very succinctly in my notes so I'll paste it here:

I wish she’d just been an OC who could exist to chew scenery because the fact that she was a literal historical serial killer is super. Off putting. Like, she could have been an obvious reference to Bathory, but it feels like Miku Binder Hamilton levels of uncomfortable to me.

I miss Lady D.

Which basically sums up my problem with trying to take the setting of Tangled and put it somewhere in the Real World and somewhere on the Timeline. Who thought this was a good idea.

Misc. Thoughts

So, I used the five highlighter colours my ipad allows to organise my thoughts and organised them accordingly: Yellow for out of place IRL references, Blue for worldbuilding/character points that aren't plot relevant but still interesting, Pink for when something I find personally amusing happens, Purple for when the story feels like it's trying to 1-up the movie in some kind of way and Green for Heterosexual Nonsense. I'll touch on those last two in the Character sections but be prepared.

Also: for a book about giving Rapunzel killer hair, her hair isn't very dangerous. I wanted to see Rapunzel kill someone, and I'm disappointed that I didn't.

Characters

I'll do a deep dive into my thoughts about the characters before wrapping it up. I'm starting with Gina because she's honestly the easiest to get through.

Gina

Gina is a new character introduced for the story. She's a young woman trying to make it as a career criminal but keeps hitting that glass ceiling. So here's the down low, for all those who want to know: Gina is basically Cass, only not really. She's implied to be Eugene's biological sister, as previously mentioned, but you can imagine she's Cass the entire way through without breaking your immersion because if you imagined Cass if she were adopted by a Goodwitch rather than the Captain and had a looser, more wilderness survivor than trainee guard upbringing then you get Gina.

I liked Gina! I think she's fun as her own character too, and her best moments are when she's interacting with her mother Goody Goodwife, and she of course picks up a natural sibling rivalry with Eugene, but I was disappointed with how little she really bonded with Rapunzel because she needed to make room for Eugene and Rapunzel's romance.

Rapunzel

Okay, here's our protagonist. There's a notable effort to make Rapunzel more active in her destiny and whatever, and sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. I was worried they'd try to go full butt-kicking girlboss with her but I was pleasantly surprised that Rapunzel was pretty useless in most scenes, genuinely love to see it.

With a more intimate look into Rapunzel's psyche through the medium of prose, we see Rapunzel really questioning Gothel's behaviour even before she leaves the tower, and while I appreciate that she can develop her own cynicism I feel it starts unnecessarily early. This is my purple colour; the movie needs to be "fixed" by showing the readers that this Rapunzel is quicker to distrust Gothel. She's also quicker to hatch a plan to go outside of the tower on her own, and she makes a plan to make Flynn her guide for the lanterns even though he never stumbles upon her in the tower- and even though she has a perfectly rational reason not to trust him which is that he is a stranger and a Wanted Thief.

In the moments where it does work is when Rapunzel is surrounded by her new support network: Flynn, Goodwife and Gina, who encourage her to question Gothel's sincerity, and Rapunzel comes up with her own defences for Gothel so that she can poke through them herself.

I have some other thoughts about Rapunzel's hair and her powers, like how the story provides the interesting concept that her hair gets different powers with the different phases of the moon, but a lot of the powers are uhhh stupid and also I feel like it really robs the story of the whole gripping conflict of "Yes I'm Rapunzel Yes my hair kills people what of it".

In as far as just Rapunzel herself though, she still felt pretty in character nonetheless, and maybe that's all I can ask.

Flynn Rider / Eugene Fitzherbert

My boy I am so sorry. They neutered my boy.

Long story short: Eugene in this story is the sexy lamp. He contributes nothing to the plot except to be there for Rapunzel to drool over. And of course because he won't get any character development, he starts from the very beginning as a sweet soft boi with none of the Flynn Rider characterisation from the movie because we don't have time for that, he needs to be husband material stat.

His whole character is the colour green for Heterosexual Nonsense.

So, here's the problem. In the movie, there's not a lot of time for ~friendship~ between Rapunzel and Eugene because they kind of immediately see each other as a romantic prospect. And whatever, it's a movie and there's only so much time. But this book had the opportunity to take things a bit slower and instead chooses to make Rapunzel get jealous whenever Eugene and Gina interact and for her to be constantly wishing he was holding her hand.

Say what you will about Lost Lagoon, but it tells a good romance story just by virtue of not intending to be a romance story, because the author is trying to convey a strong bond between Rapunzel and Cassandra without using "and they kiss" as a cheatcode. What Once Was Mine says "he was a boy, she was a girl, could it be any more obvious?" and leaves it at that.

Now as for how this all pertains to Eugene's character? Well, it just robs him of any flavour. In the movie there's a clear distinction between Flynn and Eugene, when we learn Eugene's real name about halfway through. We see a clear difference between the Flynn we knew- kind of an asshole, wanated to drop Rapunzel off at the Snuggly Duckling and get rid of her- and Eugene, who is sincere and chooses Rapunzel as his New Dream in opposition to his Old Dream of living alone on an island with a bunch of money.

This version of Eugene is basically Eugene all the way through, because the plot doesn't really need Eugene there but he has to be there because it's a Tangled AU so there's no Rapunzel rescuing Flynn from the guards and healing his hand scene, he just loves her immediately and that's that. They have a little spat at one point but it's cleared up later and not because they actually communicate but because they kiss.

Rapunzel only learns Eugene's real name at the very end of the story, and gives a speech about how Eugene is the real him, but it's just so flat because 'Flynn' has been sincere this whole time? Anyway he does nothing of value for the entire story except be there for Rapunzel to lust after. Eugene I'm so sorry.

Gothel

Gothel's sort of the Big Bad and is characterised as an abusive asshole, the usual. I wish there were a bit more nuance to her character but then again in this story she's not just being passively evil- taking care of Rapunzel for selfish reasons but nevertheless maintaining the status quo- she's being actively evil in trying to sell Rapunzel off.

It's notably funny that Gothel sees the Countess Bathory and is like "what the fuck".

Anyway Gothel in this story also feels very weak in part because this Rapunzel is more critical and in part because this Rapunzel has a new support network. It's for that reason the Mother Knows Best Reprise scene doesn't really work, because the original has Gothel pit Rapunzel against Eugene, whereas she can't do that here so it remains a Gothel vs Rapunzel thing.

She gets a boring death as an epilogue addendum that someone rips out the Sundrop flower, which tbh? lame. It would be a lot more fun if it were open ended but I am also preferential to Rapunzel actually using her killer hair to kill someone. Please

Captain Justin Tregsburg

It's Max. He was a human but then he got turned into a horse. what the fuck you guys

#how did you spend your day

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my-emotional-self · 3 years

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Toxic Love Chapter 7

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing. But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story! I apologize in advance!

8 Years Ago – Age 17

“Y/N, do you know why you are here?” the shrink asked from across the large desk. You looked down at the typical uniform of a patient at a psychiatric ward. Yes you knew why you were in here. A few months ago you witnessed your father’s dead corpse hanging in your living room. The next thing you knew you were writing a suicide note of your own and your foster parents found it before you could do anything. Now, you were stuck in a psych ward, probably until you at least turned 18.

“Yep,” came your short response.

The shrink glanced down at her papers in front of her, going through all of your notes. “We want to help you as best we can Y/N. You’ve been through some very traumatic experiences in your life and you’ve witnessed a great deal. We are going to get you all the help you need.”

3 Months Later

“Have you heard of Borderline Personality Disorder Y/N?” your psychiatrist, Dr. Wang asked.

That made your head snap in her direction. Here you were, still stuck in the psych ward after three months and you weren’t sure why. “I’ve heard of that, yes. But I thought I was just depressed,” you mumbled, chewing on your fingernail.

You were clinically diagnosed with depression shortly after coming here.

“Well, that’s what we originally thought at first. But the longer you’ve spent time here, the more I and the rest of the staff have discovered it is BPD. You’re intense mood swings, combined with your ongoing feelings of emptiness and the intense bouts of anger you have are all signs of BPD. We are going to switch up your medications and that will really help with your mood swings and anger issues.

~~~

No matter how hard you tried, sleep never came to you that afternoon. You tossed and turned all afternoon in your bed and nothing seemed to be working. Not only that, but you were really starting to get more irritable as the day went on and you knew it was time to change the dosing of your medication. It was like clockwork, every year to year and a half. The only problem was that you couldn’t leave the tower without Steve, Bucky or an anyone else. How were you supposed to get an appointment with your Psychiatrist if you couldn’t leave the tower alone? This only increased your anger and frustration as you got out of bed to get ready.

You brushed your teeth and put on a some jeans and a t-shirt, not really caring what you threw on. All of the specific clothing you wore for work was in the closet of your game room along with your makeup and accessories.

Upon leaving your room, you saw Steve and Bucky sitting at the island in the kitchen of your shared apartment. They both looked deep in thought over some paperwork and you assumed it was for work.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen, you were about to head into the elevator as you didn’t want to disturb them, but Steve spoke up and caught your attention. “Where are you off to?”

“Oh, umm, I’m heading down to my game room. I’m going to work tonight,” you mumbled out as you pressed the button for the elevator. You noticed it was on the ground floor and it would take a few minutes to get to your level.

“What time do you plan on being done?” Steve questioned.

You huffed in annoyance, already irritated as anger began to creep through your bones. “I don’t know. Whenever I get done,” you snapped. Immediately you felt regret, but sometimes your emotions got the better of you when you were in dire need of a medication change.

“Hey, what’s with the attitude?” Steve commanded as he got up from his seat and stalked over to you, hands on his hips. You noticed Bucky looking at you from his seat with furrowed brows. They had never seen you angry like this. You were always so compliant and easy going.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m just tired is all.”

Steve looked at you sharply, his lips in a thin tight line. “Alright. Just make sure you get to bed at a reasonable time tonight. Promise?”

“I promise,” you answered back.

~~~

In the comfort of your game room, you quickly got to work. Digging through your closet, you decided on a light pink tank top that said ‘Gamer Girl’ in black letters with two gamer controls on it. Since your webcam only showed your top half, you threw on a black pair of cotton shorts to be comfortable.

Next, you put your hair up in space buns, making sure they were situated just right so they wouldn’t be in the way of your headphones. You put on your typical game night makeup: bright pink eyeshadow with dark smoked out liner, some mascara and blush and you were good to go.

Turning on your monitor, you began to power everything up and once that was done, you logged in. Immediately your followers started putting in their messages off to the side and you smiled as you read them. You always tried to read as much of them as you could.

As the night went on, you knew you should pack it up and listen to what Steve said; getting to bed at a descent time and getting rest. But you were having way too much fun tonight and so were your followers. It was one of the best nights you’d had in months and not just money wise.

Ignoring the clock you continued to play and interact with your followers with the microphone that was attached to your headphones. Every so often you would glance to your messages box and see what some of them had said. Most of them were cheering you on but of course you always had some haters in there as well.

It was when you noticed the screen name of one of them that made your blood run cold. JSmith20. ‘It can’t be’ you thought to yourself, trying to keep as composed as possible as hundreds of people were watching you game in this very moment.

John’s last name is Smith and he always told you how his favorite number was 20, because that was how old you were when you met him. No, but he’s still in prison. He hasn’t gotten out. He’ll be in there for many more years to come. It had to be one of his friends right? The same friend that had been delivering those letters to your old apartment. ‘Yes, that’s right. It’s just one of his friends trying to torment you’ you thought to yourself.

Then, the person behind that screen name typed a message into your message box.

Hey babe. Do you miss me yet? I can’t wait to see you – J

Yep, your composure went out the window reading the message. Then another message from him popped up.

I see you are no longer living in that little one bedroom apartment. Did you really think you could up and move and I wouldn’t be able to find you? Oh babe, how cute. I will find you and we will meet again soon. I promise – J

As you stared at the words on your screen, you heard groans from the other players on your team. You had just lost the game.

“Shit,” you swore, anger bubbling up inside of you. “Fucking damnit!” You slammed your fist on the desk.

You rarely lost games. Losing always put you in a foul mood. But because of already being irritable and your emotions on over drive, losing just made everything worse.

Looking at the clock it was just before five in the morning so you logged off and shut everything down.

You took your hair out of the buns, immediately feeling the tension in your head ease. Ever so quietly, you opened the door and poked your head out into the hallway. It was bitch black so you used your phone as a flashlight and tiptoed to the elevator. Before pressing the button on the elevator, you paused. What if the noise of the elevator woke up Steve or Bucky? You had promised Steve that you would get to bed at a descent time and seeing as it was just about five in the morning, well, you kind of figured you’d be in trouble.

Instead, you opened the door to the stairs which was situated right next to the elevator. At least taking the stairs would be much quieter.

You climbed the stairs up a few levels until you reached your living level and you waited on baited breath for a few moments. Nothing. Nothing but silence. As quiet as a mouse, you snuck through the door and dashed to your room, thanking your lucky stars that the palm scanner didn’t make any noise.

You took a nice hot shower, washing off all of your makeup and the stress of the last few hours. As much as you wanted to forget John messaging you, it wasn’t going to happen, neither was any sleep.

Rather than even bothering to get into bed and try to relax, you sent an email to your psychiatrist letting her know that you would more than likely need a dose change on your medications. Frantically typing away at the email, you explained how you were beginning to get irritated and it was harder for you to control your bouts of anger.

Luckily for you, Dr. Wang was an early bird and she emailed you right back. She wanted you to come see her for an appointment and your heart immediately dropped. That wasn’t going to happen as one of your rules was that you weren’t allowed out of the tower by yourself. And as much as you liked Darcy, you couldn’t trust her to go with you and not say anything to Steve or Bucky.

Typing out your reply, you explained that you were unfortunately not able to meet in person and if there was anything else that could be done. After you hit sent, you began to pace in your apartment, clearly on edge with everything going on. You just wanted to feel better; you hated feeling this way. It was as if you weren’t in control of your body and you definitely weren’t in control of your emotions.

A notification came through your laptop and you rushed towards it, almost tripping over your feet. As you read her words, you could have cried right then and there. She had agreed to a phone call appointment and she had time right now to discuss things with you.

Grasping your phone, you dialed her number.

“It’s good to hear from you Y/N,” Dr. Wang stated as she answered the phone.

“Oh Dr. Wang it is so good to hear your voice.”

She let out a soft chuckle. “Yes, it has been a little over six months since we’ve last spoken. How are things going with you?”

“Where to begin,” you started off saying. You let her know that you indeed met your soulmates and had moved in with them. You went over the rules that Steve had given you and she made you feel better as she stated she had seen way worse rules. Hell, she said your rules were like a walk in the park compared to some she has heard.

“Alright, now, let’s get down to business. How are you feeling these past few days?” she asked curiously.

“Ugh, not good. Moving was stressful but I have been feeling really irritated over the last few and I’ve had a few bouts of anger rush through me that makes me want to punch something, but I’ve luckily been able to hold back on that.”

“What about any risky behaviors such as reckless driving, spending sprees, binge eating, drug abuse or sabotaging anything positive in your life?”

“Not yet,” you stated. You knew the routine. She was going over all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder to see what has changed with you.

“Ok good. How about any intense fears of abandonment or rejection?”

That question always hit you like a punch to the gut. The only reason you had stayed with John for so long was because of that right there. He purposely wouldn’t let you see Dr. Wang or he wouldn’t take you to get your medications refilled and because of that, you were starting to feel those feelings; not wanting to be abandoned no matter what.

“Nope,” you replied.

“Ok then. I am going to increase the dosing on your current medications but I want to warn you. Without you coming in and personally seeing me and without getting some blood work done, I don’t know how well this dosing is going to work, if it will work at all. We might need to discuss changing the medication all together,” she stated.

“I understand Dr. Wang. And do you think maybe you could prescribe some sort of sleep medication for me too?”

“I can prescribe a one week trial of a sleeping medication for you. After that, I really need you to try and come see me in the office and we can discuss that further. Now, did you want me to send these prescriptions into your regular pharmacy?”

“Yes, that would be great. Thank you so much Dr. Wang.”

“No worries at all Y/N. Give the office a call and get an appointment set up.”

“I will. Thanks again.”

Now that you had your medications all taken care of, you had to figure a way to leave the tower so you could get them.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #dark!steve rogers #dark! steve rogers

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page-doctor-bekker · 3 years

Text

First Encounter - Lymphoblastic!au

(A/N) First fic for my lymphoblastic!au! Enjoy! This is really just setting up for the rest of the fic, so it's not the most interesting thing ever. It sets up the dynamic though!

"So here's my digs right now," Ava chuckled, showing the FaceTime camera the full span of the room, "This is my first time in the new Oncology ward, the room is nice, the view is shit, and everything..." She pointed and zoomed in at the door handle, then at an unstable chair, "Is suicide proof."

Connor laughed, "Well, you can't say it's for no reason!"

Ava's brief stint in the psych ward at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center was proof of that.

"Well, yeah, it's nice that they thought of that," She rolled her eyes, and sat back down on her bed, "The new mattresses are comfy."

"They're some fancy memory foam or something," Connor shrugged, sipping his coffee, "They splashed out on them. I guess a chief complaint of Oncology patients is lack of sleep."

"Maybe that would improve if they didn't shine flashlights in our faces all the time. I would like to die in peace."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"It's a joke, Connor," She said, weakly, "Laugh."

Connor gave a forced laugh, and Ava started to laugh herself. Connor's laugh grew harder, and more real.

"Hey, I've gotta get to work," Connor said, through his laughter, "I'll pop up and say hello when I get the chance."

Ava glanced out the window, "Alright," She said after awhile, "I'll see you then."

They hung up soon after, and Ava was alone with her thoughts, and her seemingly endless headache. She pulled off her wig, something she hadn't had the chance to do since she got to the hospital. She peeled each piece of wig tape off, wincing as it pulled at her skin. She never bothered wearing a wig in the hospital, even as a young teenager.

She collapsed into bed, pulling her weighted blanket over her and sighing.

Any time she was admitted she always brought her own blankets and pillows. They helped her feel at home. And every admission brought a significant risk of death, and if she was dying, she was going to die under the comfort of her own blankets.

Call it childish, but she brought her own stuffed animal too. A bear her mom bought her when she was first diagnosed.

She hugged the bear close to her chest, and curled around it. Her head pounded, and she felt a pang of... Something, an emotion, deep in her chest.

There was a knock on her door, and it was opened seconds later. Ava never understood why doctors knocked if they were just going to open the door anyways.

"Hey, you're going to have a roommate in the next few hours," A nurse that Ava recognized from a few admissions ago, spoke, "Please, please be nice. I obviously can't tell you anything, but just keep in mind what your first admission was like for you."

That stuck with Ava.

"Mama," Ava's voice shook. She widened the bathroom door, letting light spill into the room. Her now-bloody hospital gown hung off of her, and the light jolted her mom awake.

"Avie? What happened?"

"I don't know," Her voice heightened in fear, holding the blood-soaked tissue to her nose, "Can you call the doctor please."

Ava's mom put her glasses on and looked around, "Moeder van God, what happened to you?"

"My nose," Ava sniffled, spitting out blood from her mouth. There was blood everywhere - Her gown, her hands, her face, the floor, her bed...

"We need a doctor!" Ava's mom called out, pushing the call button on the wall and rushing to her daughter, "Quickly!"

A nurse came in a few minutes later, "Page Dr. Sal," The nurse yelled out into the hall and flicked the overhead light on, "It's okay sweetie, we're going to get you cleaned up."

Ava was sobbing at this point, shaking at the sight of her own blood, "Why isn't it stopping?"

Sarah was wheeled into the room at around lunch time, at the same time that the meal cart came around. The meal cart nurse set Ava's lunch down on her bed tray, and set Sarah's lunch on her side table.

Sarah looked pale, and thin. She had a big, ugly bruise on one of her arms, and a second smaller bruise on her opposite hand. They had her IV line on the thumb-side of her forearm, and a saline infusion running into it.

"Ava, your chemotherapy will be set up in..." The nurse bringing Sarah glanced at the clock, "Half an hour? Probably as soon as you're done eating. I'll come back in just a minute to give you your pre-medication, and then we'll start once those meds kick in."

Ava nodded, opening her food. Ah, breakfast for lunch. Two mildly soggy pieces of french toast with strawberries, a little cup of syrup, a cup of apple juice with a foil lid creatively labeled "Apple Juice", and about half a cup of scrambled eggs.

One thing she'll reluctantly compliment Gaffney on is the food. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly. For the most part this hospital frustrated her to no end and if she never came here again she would be thrilled, but the food was not terrible. Which was a glowing review, as far as Ava was concerned.

Ava snapped a picture and sent it to Connor's Snapchat. A tradition, to send him her hospital meals before eating and then send him a rating when she finished.

"Is the food here okay?"

Ava looked up at Sarah, who was now inspecting her food.

"Ah, it's not terrible, but hospital food is never great."

"I wouldn't know," She laughed weakly, "I've never even been to a hospital before," She confessed.

"Lucky you," Ava announced, "The french toast is easily the best out of all of the meals. I think I've tried almost all of them," She paused for a moment, poking her straw through the foil lid of her apple juice, "I've also tried the nearby restaurants that deliver here. Some of them throw in free delivery if you tell them you're in the oncology ward. Cancer kid perks," She joked, and Sarah sat in uncomfortable silence.

They ate quietly.

The nurse showed back up a few minutes later with several syringes in hand, "Ready Ava?"

Ava nodded, and fished her brand-new triple-lumen PICC line (the doctors really hooked her up with the good line) out of her blankets, "Ready as I'll ever be."

The nurse pushed Benadryl first, which made Ava's head feel heavy. She always felt like she had to consciously remember to breathe when she had IV Benadryl - It hit so much harder than oral Benadryl.

Zofran came next. She felt tired, but she really wouldn't be able to gauge the effects until her infusion started.

"We'll run the antibiotics through the port so they hit the bacteria directly, and we'll run your chemo and anything other than the antibiotics through your PICC," The nurse explained, "We want to eradicate this bug but we're concerned about the mass in your brain... We don't want to stop chemo and give it a chance to grow bigger."

Ava nodded, watching the nurse finish off her line, "When will my infusion start?"

The nurse looked at the clock, "Probably about one o' clock, about half an hour from now."

Ava nodded, and continued to eat after the nurse finished using her line.

She finished right before the nurse came back in to start her infusion, a clear bag with a bright yellow label, "CHEMOTHERAPY DRUGS", with a radioactivity symbol. Out of the corner of her eye, Ava saw Sarah pale at the scary label.

"Have fun," The nurse joked, and Ava rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, I'll try."

Sarah watched the medicine flow into Ava's line, and almost felt an urge to cry.

"Would you stop gawking at me?" Ava snapped.

"Sorry, sorry," Sarah squeaked, moving her eyes back to her phone.

"What's your diagnosis?" Ava pried, curious as ever.

"Leukemia."

Ava sighed, annoyed at the lack of specificity, "What kind?"

"I don't know, does it matter?"

Ava huffed, "Of course it matters. They're different."

"What are all the types? Maybe I'd recognize it when I hear it?"

"I can't list every single type of Leukemia," Ava rolled her eyes, "Is it acute or chronic?"

"What's the difference?"

"Nevermind," Ava muttered.

"I'm sorry that I'm not a doctor," Sarah replied, sarcastically, "I mean, what do you want me to do? I was diagnosed yesterday. I spent the night in the emergency room. Do you want me to become a doctor while I'm laying in a pool of my own blood?"

Ava felt a pang of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Bekker, your daughter has Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a type of blood cancer."

"Sorry I just..." Ava's voice grew small, "I didn't know."

"Yeah, whatever. It's fine. I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay."

#lymphoblastic!au #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #ava bekker x sarah reese #chicago med #chicago med writing #usercj #crockettstiddies #purple-dahlias

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tropicsunflower · 4 years

Text

Another daily dose of casual conversations between me and Emily @emiijemii

Emily- Y/n

Me- The Darkling

Y/n: Hello world I’m your wild girl-

*The Darkling raises an eyebrow in annoyance*

Y/n: -I’m your ch-ch-ch-ch-cherrybomb

(She slightly shimmies her shoulders with the “ch-ch-ch-“)

Darkling: Y/N sit down and be quiet before I feed you to the Volcra on our next trip across the fold.

Y/n: 👀-

Y/n: Bet

D: Excuse me?

Y/n: At least they’ll appreciate me for the delicious snack that I am

Ivan: *chokes*

D: *smirking* If you truly want to be fed to the Volcra I’m sure I can arrange that on our next trip across the fold. I don’t really care either way.

Y/n: *shrugs* I don’t want anything, but if that’s what you’re gonna do then it is what it is

D: Are you not afraid to die?

Y/n: Have you met my generation?

D: *rolls eyes* Yes I’m training them. They’re stupid.

Y/n: No, we just really don’t care

D: At least it makes you good soldiers

Y/n: *mumbles*...great, good for you 😑

D: *smirks because he knows he won the argument* It is. Now sit down and shut up before I follow through with that plan.

Y/n: You should be careful... You have a bunch of kids with advanced abilities- and I don’t know about them, but me personally? Where I’m from, we were raised on the Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter- Oh, and have gone through school shootings like it’s normal, during school we live with the same amount of stress psych ward patients had about 60-70 years ago, and have dealt with a global pandemic...If you think backwards looking dragon who’s afraid of daylight is going to scare me, you’re hilarious 😁

D: *raises an eyebrow* challenge accepted

Y/n: Oh come on, like you would actually waste an entire trip to the fold just on one little person. Unlike everyone else here, you don’t scare me, Shadow Man. *turns and walks towards the doors*

D: *Shrugs* your right but I could just toss you into the dungeons until the next trip across the fold or I could cut you in two.

Y/n: *can’t help but giggle as she reaches the doors* I love how this started from me absentmindedly singing *shakes her head*

D: I prefer silence when I’m working.

Y/n: I didn’t even realize I was doing it- okay, fine- Yes Bwana, yes *bows twice* *spins around trying to get around the guards at the door*

D: Maybe I was wrong about your generation. You can’t even address me properly *rolls eyes*

Y/n: Ooo, strike one! *turns to face him placing her hands behind her back*

Y/n, adds: Keep trying. You might actually hit the ball this time. *grins*

D: What are you going on about now?

Y/n: *gives a soft chuckle* Nothing...just having a little fun *smiles, glancing at the floor for a moment* There’s your answer, by the way.

D: *rolls eyes* get out before I kill you.

Y/n: *smiles softly* Yes, Bwana. *steps between the guards trying to leave*

D: *to Ivan* I’m going to kill her one of these days I swear

Y/n, walking down the corridor: *smiles, overhearing him* You enjoy it and you know it!

*calls over her shoulder, her voice carrying through the corridor, slightly echoing*

D: Doesn’t mean I won’t kill you

Y/n: *whirls around in the middle of the corridor* So you do like me!

D: *signing a document* I don’t like anybody. Now shoo, you’re being a pest.

*Y/n stays put out in the corridor*

Y/n, in a sing-song voice: You’re lyinggg *grins, thoroughly enjoying this as her words softly echo into his study*

D: I thought I told you to go away? Ivan remove the pest

Y/n: I am removed! I’m out in the corridor *spins around once, her black kefta flowing around her* Last time I checked, the corridor was fair game.

*Y/n takes full notice of how he didn’t deny that he was lying*

D: Pest. Ivan take her to visit Baghra. Maybe the old woman can straighten her out.

Y/n: Baby. I’ve already seen her once today!

D: So go visit her again.

Y/n: No!

*steps backwards as Ivan steps out of the study and into the corridor so Y/n throws out her hands casting ice at Ivan’s feet freezing them to where he stands mid stride outside the doorway*

Y/n: You just had to kill the moment didn't you

D: I gave you an order. Now follow it.

Y/n: Alright...but if I leave, how will you know if I actually went to go see Baghra? I could’ve gone to the kitchens or my room or to hang out with the children in their class out by the lake!

Y/n adds, jokingly, to poke fun: I think it would be so much more fun if you made me.

D: *growls* and I think it would be more fun to let Ivan kill you.

Y/n: Honey, he’s frozen to the floor. *glances over at Ivan with a smile, watching my try to pull himself out of the ice with no avail*

Y/n: I’d love to see how that goes.

D: *rolls eyes* He’s a Heartrender you imbecile. All he needs are use of his hands

Y/n: Oh yes, thank you for reminding me- *she throws out her hands, opening her palm, casting more ice at Ivan, creating a frozen cocoon around him from the waist down, locking his arms in the ice by his sides*

*Y/n smiles, beaming at D, completely ignoring Ivan’s frustrated groaning*

*Y/n giggles scrunching her nose*

D: *Growls storming into the hall* Let’s go. *grabs her by the arm* I’ve had enough of you

Y/n: Bye Ivan!

Ivan: W-What?

Y/n: *bites her lip trying not to giggle anymore as D pulls her down the hall*

D: *over his shoulder to another Oprichniki* Have an Inferni melt the ice and a healer tend to him. I’ll be back in a bit.

D: *to Y/n* you’re turning out to be more trouble than you’re worth.

*Y/n stops, yanking her arm from his grip*

Y/n: I’m only playing and teasing, Shadow Man. When was the last time someone wasn’t utterly terrified of you and cracked a joke around you?- And besides, I never expected you to be one to back down from a challenge.

D: I’m not but you’re grating on my last nerve.

Y/n: So sue me, I enjoy it *she raises her arm for him to grab again*

D: *looks at her arm, then back at her* let’s just go. I have important work to do.

Y/n: Where are we going?

D: I’m bringing you to your room.

Y/n: Are you grounding me? *tries not to smile*

D: Putting you on house arrest.

Y/n: So, you are grounding me. *Y/n feels his grip on her arm tighten as he drags her through the little castle*

Y/n, mumbles to herself with a smile: I’m gonna love the peace and quiet…

D: that makes two of us

*Y/n laughs heartily, almost tripping as she tries to keep up with D*

Y/n: Oh you’ll miss me. I’m the only one in this castle that talks to you like a normal person.

Y/n: I may drive you crazy sometimes, but you like it.

D: If that’s what you think then you’re clearly delusional

Y/n: Am I? *giggles* Not 5 minutes ago, you inadvertently admitted that you enjoy our little arguments and banter and you didn’t deny it when I called you a liar for saying you don’t like anyone!

D: I didn’t say I did either. You still have a lot to learn little girl

Y/n: I’m not trying to say you have feelings for me if that's what you think.

D: I wasn’t thinking that. Where did you even get that idea?

Y/n: I’m only clarifying, just in case.

*Y/n notices the stares of other grishas watching The Darkling personally drag her up the stairs*

Y/n mutters this quietly, thinking it’s in her head: Does raise a question, though…

D: what?

*Y/n snaps her attention to D as they reach the top of the first staircase*

Y/n: Pardon?

D: Nothing. Ignore them. They don’t know how to mind their own business

Y/n: Can’t really blame them. I’d probably stare too, seeing you personally drag somebody around the castle instead of a pair of your Oprichniki dragging them.

D: Considering you froze one of them in the middle of the hallway and refused to listen when I told you to go away. A personal escort was needed

Y/n: You’re just so much fun to mess with. *bites her lip trying to contain herself*

D: *mutters* You’re generation really is stupid. *opens door to room and shove her inside* stay here until your lesson with Baghra tomorrow. Until then this door stays shut.

Y/n: Yes Bwana, yes.

*Y/n interrupts him before he could respond*

Y/n: by the way, it’s not my generation it’s just me. Because I am the only one who behaves like this around you. Everyone else is either too busy being afraid or trying to impress you.

D: *smiling the tiniest bit* Brave choice. Still a stupid one. Good night Y/n

Y/n: *smiles* Goodnight D...enjoy your peace and quiet.

D: I plan too. *closes door*

Y/n calls through the door: I hope the boot-licking, suck-up’s don’t give you too much of a big head!

Y/n, to herself: If they do, I’ll pop him like a balloon when I get out of here…

D: Good luck trying little girl!

Y/n: How did you even hear that last part?! Are you standing right outside my door?- thats creeeepy!

D: *walking away* I hear everything!

Y/n: You WERE!

D: Believe what you want, good night pest!

Y/n: So are you, but you’re such a baby

*Y/n bites her lip, successfully not giggling to herself as she waits for his reaction*

D: *smirking* Funny coming from a child centuries younger than me

*Y/n smiles and pulls the door open more, leaning against the doorframe*

Y/n: 1. You’re a man so it’s a give-in, 2. You can’t handle someone absentmindedly singing, or trying to playing with you, tease you, you tattle on me to Ivan- you’re whiney little baby.

D: *keeps walking over his shoulder* Maybe I do enjoy it but don’t want anyone to know

*Y/n smiles then catches her bottom lip between her teeth to hide it even though he’s not looking*

Y/n: I know...maybe I enjoy making it harder for you

D: I know you do. Doesn’t make it any less annoying

*Y/n giggles*

Y/n, calls after him: Yes, but Saints, you’re so entertaining when you’re all worked up.

D: *smirks and looks back at her* ya know that’s usually what someone says to a person they have feelings for. See you in a few days Y/n. Enjoy the peace and quiet. *disappears around a corner*

*Y/n stares wide eyed at the corner he disappeared around, her face flushed*

Y/n: Oh, bite me. *she grumbled, in case he’s still listening around the corner and goes back into her room*

D: *smirks as he walks back into his office*

#grishaverse #grishaverse netflix #shadow and bone #the darkling #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #zoya nazyalensky #darkling x reader #casual conversation #genya safin #leigh bardugo #Grisha #shadow summoner

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atths--twice · 4 years

Link

Chapter Nine 9/9

The Kosher Deli December 25, 2017 One week later

Mulder looked up from an email from Cera, as the bells on the door jingled, announcing an arrival. It was not Scully, but an older man and a little girl wearing hot pink furry earmuffs and a matching coat. They walked past him and he watched them approach the counter, smiling as the girl looked at all the cookies, as she decided on which one she wanted to buy.

He looked back down at his phone, at the photos she had sent over and he shook his head. The night she had been attacked in the amusement park, she had captured pictures of Elinor, unbeknownst to her until a couple of days later.

Elinor had not appeared as a ghost, but as a slightly out of focus person, getting clearer the closer she came to Cera. Not an angel in a graveyard, but a vengeful woman in her wedding dress. Mulder shook his head at the physical proof of an apparition that he held in his hand and all he could think was that it had nearly cost Scully her life. Not worth it.

Nothing was worth that.

“Hey,” Scully said, suddenly beside him and he jumped as he turned to look at her, locking his phone and putting it into his pocket. “Scare you?” She smiled as she sat down carefully, taking a chip from the bag in front of him.

“What have I been telling you for the past few days? I don’t get scared, remember?” he lied, his heart racing in his chest.

“Hmm,” she hummed, eating the chip and taking another. “Couldn’t wait for me?”

“You said twenty minutes and it’s been... at least thirty. So, I needed something to tide me over.”

“I believe the new established understanding is, if it’s longer than twenty minutes, bacon is involved. All the bacon.”

“Jewish deli, Scully,” he quipped, looking around and she laughed softly.

“Touché,” she said as she stood up just as carefully as she had sat down, brushing off her hands, and sliding off her coat and leaving it on her chair. “I’ll go order for us, you wait here and keep the table.” She stared at him and he raised an eyebrow. “Pastrami on rye, extra mustard, pickle on the side.” He kept staring and she smiled. “Coleslaw, unless the potato salad looks homemade.”

“Ahhh, Scully…” he said, more than a little aroused.

“Twenty five years, Mulder,” she said, shrugging and walking away.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Twenty five years.”

He sighed as he watched her waiting in line, seeing her unconsciously rubbing gently at her chest. Knowing it was the ache of the bruises that covered the skin beneath the black sweater she wore, he shook his head, rubbing at his mouth.

They had only arrived home yesterday afternoon, after Scully had spent a couple of days in the hospital, making sure she was all right after nearly dying at the Boudreaux house. The ambulance had arrived not long after she had passed out and taken her to a hospital nearby, him following behind in the car.

He had not been allowed back until she was in a room, no matter how he had raged or flashed his badge. When he had finally been allowed back, he had walked into her room, believing she was asleep and causing him to pause in the doorway. But then she had opened her eyes and reached her hand out to him. He had walked over to her, grasping her hand and kissing her forehead, before resting his against hers.

“Thank you,” she had whispered, her thumb rubbing over the top of his hand.

“Scully,” he had whispered, pulling back to look at her.

“Stay with me. Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She had tugged at his hand, trying to move over, groaning as she did. “Hey… careful. Let me help you.”

He had helped her shift over a bit, took off his shoes and suit jacket, and slid beneath the blankets beside her. Lying on their sides, she had nestled into him, his arms wrapped around her, and her hand grasping at his shirt.

“Mulder…” she had sighed, her breath warm against his neck, falling asleep almost instantly.

In the next few days, she had quite a few visitors for someone who knew no one in the area. Sheriff Lavonne had come to take their statement and her eyes had flicked to Mulder’s as he stood in the corner of the room, listening to her doctored version of events.

She had already told him what had happened, or what she thought had happened, shaking her head as she had said she did not know what was real or imagined.

“You think you imagined it, Scully?” he had asked, and she shook her head with a sigh.

“I don’t know, Mulder.” She had looked at him with a shrug, looking down as she rubbed the blanket between her fingers. “How can I explain to others that I believe I was trapped inside of a mirror with a woman who died over 150 years ago? I can barely comprehend it. How can I explain that without ending up in the psych ward?”

To that question, he had no answer.

Arielle, Davis, Cera, and Adam had come to see them, eager to tell their story of what had happened.

The four of them had met up, sharing the stories each had heard over the years concerning Elinor and Mary. When they had hit a dead end, they had done the same as Mulder, scouring past records for any information. They had called family members, friends, and friends of friends, asking if anyone they knew had ever mentioned or knew of stories related to Mary and Elinor.

They had found a person related to James Cormier, a man who had heard his mother tell stories that she had heard about lost loves and being sure to choose the right person as your life partner. To never settle for the most beautiful or wealthy because both will fade. But love, it lasts and remains forever, no matter a person's social standing.

“Better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable,” Arielle had said and the others had agreed, but then debated that being happy and a bit rich would not be so bad. They had all laughed and then they continued the story.

After they had spoken to Reese, James’s distant relative, they knew what they needed to do.

“Truth be told,” Davis had said, shaking his head. “The minute Arielle showed me the pictures Cera had taken a few years ago, I knew what we had to do, but I was terrified to actually do it.”

“I was too,” Arielle had said, taking his hand and looking at him with a nod. “I felt nauseous at the thought of even being there. But then, we went and saw Farrah and Tyler in the hospital, something I had been unable to do until then, and I wasn’t scared anymore. I was fucking pissed.” Davis had nodded in agreement, clenching his jaw.

They had driven out, stopping at a hardware store for sledgehammers and protective eye goggles, gaining curious looks, but no comments from the gum chewing young girl who had rung up four people buying such items in the middle of a storm.

When they had pulled up to the church, Arielle and Davis both had a moment of hesitation, breathing hard and shaking in the pouring rain.

“But then Cera…” Arielle had said, tears in her eyes as she reached for her friend’s hand. “She grabbed my hand and that was all I needed. She nodded and we walked together in the rain, determined to end it.”

Knowing exactly where it was, Cera leading them, still holding Arielle’s hand, they had each taken a sledgehammer and put on their goggles, lightning flashing and the rain making it harder to see, but not impossible to get their task finished.

Simultaneously, they had hit Elinor’s headstone and the large statue of Mary that had been ordered to be erected there by Mary’s mother Elizabeth, years after Mary’s death.

“Hany, the slave girl who had been befriended by Mary, had also been entrusted with letters Mary had written when she was the most ill regarding her concerns about Elinor, that were to be given to her mother after Mary’s father had died,” Adam had explained. “Mary did not like her father and he did not seem to care for her either. After his death, Hany came back to that house she had lived in as a slave, and told the truth she had kept secret for years. Mary’s mother had the statue made as a sense of revenge: that Mary would always be there no matter where Elinor was. So… that bitch had to come down.” The other three had nodded vigorously and Mulder had looked at Scully, impressed by the little group of badasses.

Not stopping until both were piles of rubble, they had fallen to the ground, everyone but Adam crying, feeling free, the rain washing them clean.

“I didn’t even feel cold,” Arielle had said, crying and wiping her eyes. “For the first time in nearly two months, in the pouring rain, I didn’t feel cold.” She had looked at Mulder and he had nodded with a smile before glancing at Scully. She had wiped at her own eyes and looked at him, understanding that their actions had not only saved them, but had been what saved her as well.

When Scully had been released from the hospital, they had gone to see Farrah and Tyler, who were now awake and making a slow recovery, much to Doctor Audrey’s relief.

“It’s going to take a long time for them to heal,” Scully had said, taking a deep breath as they walked down the hallway, slowing her steps for a second. Taking another deep breath, she had placed her hand on her chest, giving him a nod. “I’m okay. Just some bruising.” He had stared at her, knowing he had been the one to put the bruises there, in his desperate attempt to keep her heart beating, and she had shaken her head.

“I’ll take the bruises over the alternative any day,” she had said softly and he had nodded, placing his hand on the small of her back as they had continued out of the hospital.

“Food should be up soon,” she said, sitting beside him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Great, I’m starving.”

“Maybe this will help tide you over until then?” she asked with a smile, placing a black and white cookie in front of him on a napkin. He nodded as he looked at it, breaking it in half horizontally, two pieces of equal amount of both colors.

“Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie,” he said, quoting Seinfeld and he handed her half. She laughed and nodded as she took a bite and he did the same.

“Order for Fox? Fox, your order is ready!”

“Really?” he asked, staring at her and shaking his head. She shrugged, not meeting his eyes until he started to get up and she looked at him, her eyes shining. “I’ll remember this, Miss Scully, mark my words.”

“I’m sure you will… Fox,” she giggled and he shook his head with a smile as he walked up to the counter.

“Fox?” the girl at the counter asked.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he muttered, and she nodded, sliding their tray of food toward him.

“Thank you for coming in today, Fox. And Merry Christmas!” He looked at her and nodded.

“Happy Holidays to you,” he said, picking up the tray and turning around. He shook his head as he saw Scully grinning at him as he walked back to their table.

“Did you get the food okay then, Fox?”

“You best watch it,” he said, setting the tray down as she took their plates off of it, and he moved the tray to the side.

They ate in silence, sharing food back and forth as they always had, and he found comfort in the comfortable. Glancing at her as she stopped eating to take a deep breath, he shook his head needing to tell her something that had been on his mind.

“I know I’ve joked that I don’t get scared anymore,” he said quietly, setting his sandwich down, and wiping his hands clean. “But… I was more scared than I have ever been when I couldn’t bring you around. You were so cold-”

“Mulder-”

“I thought I’d lost you, Scully. I really did.”

“Your panic face was showing?” she teased and he looked at her, his expression serious.

“I’m not joking. I’m not-”

“Mulder,” she said quietly, covering his hand with her own and squeezing his fingers. “I know. I… I was scared too. Very scared.” He nodded as he looked into her eyes and they spoke the best way they knew how; silently. He squeezed her hand with a deep sigh and a nod and she squeezed back.

Not saying anything further, words unnecessary, they sat quietly holding hands, in a busy Jewish deli on Christmas afternoon, her head resting on his shoulder, as life bustled on around them.

#XFCase2020 #The X-Files #XF Fanfic #New Case #Coming Home #Christmas together #Sitting together as the world carries on

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quercus-queer · 4 years

Text

A Slice of a Normal Life au

Grace and Simon Edition... this ones long lmao:

They met at a train station as little kids and didn’t see each other again until high school

High school was rough for both of them and was really shitty in general so i’ll just leave that up to you but i’m starting with college

Grace ends up going to Juilliard and Simon feels betrayed because they were supposed to stick together no matter what

Plus Grace lied about it and put off confronting the issue until right before she left but Simon already felt something was up and his abandonment issues and other problems pop off so he distanced himself from her and started being a dick (sorry they’re still codependent and problematic at this point) until Grace goes off on him

She leaves and Simon has a breakdown and ends up in a psych ward but he does finally get some actual help and diagnosis (the high school counselor was trash), he never reaches back out to Grace and skips town afterwards which really impacts Grace and she’s just like... bro... do i need therapy too?

And then she actually seeks out a therapist with the intent to get better and does! She has pretty great time in college and makes actual friends in her dance program and ends up getting a girlfriend at some point... it was a long and pretty healthy relationship but ended on kinda bad terms, but she navigated her first relationship! Yay!

Simon is a dumbass and got with this girl he met while he was institutionalized... it didn’t go well but it was a relationship... it was like a few months long... but yeah... she also tells him to get a grip lol

I also changed my mind Simon doesn’t live with Samantha in high school, he tracks her down after his breakdown since he’s a legal adult and can do whatever he wants and lives with her and Frank afterwards

Simon starts working in a bookstore The Apex (its called that because they live on a mountain and its in the downtown of the city thats at the peak of the mountain) and actually really likes it and Samantha and Frank are good parental figures and he goes to actual therapy

There’s a little reading club for kids at the bookstore which is comprised of the Apex kids that he is in charge of now because the owner has her hands full (her, Simon, and a high school girl are like the only workers there)

Simon also gets a boyfriend he actually manages to keep and its a pretty good relationship and ends on relatively good terms since Simon’s actually getting therapy and has a good life set-up now so yay! He managed an actual relationship!

Samantha and Frank live in a cabin on this mountainous city btw which has a popular resort that Samantha manages and Frank is a chef there... it’s a very popular resort... a very common place for a retreat...

Grace and her dance crew in college take a trip there and she sees Simon and nearly dies, no seriously she was walking and then slipped and hit her head

She ends up in the hospital and her friends (she has actual good friends now) are like Grace what the fuck just happened you’re not that clumsy?

But you know who is? Simon, who is at the same hospital because Lucy from the kids club who is also a clumsy disaster got a fucking pencil in her eye and he had to drive her to the hospital

He sees Grace and doesn’t know whether to laugh cry or say hi so he just stares at her blankly like the dumbass he is and then leaves

Anyway, this kicks off a 200k mall-rats slowburn that goes harder than Tulips and Mikayla’s

Grace doesn’t see him again until the next night when he’s in the lobby and he actually goes up to her and they talk because he had time to process it, they awkwardly talk... mostly sit though, and then Grace’s friends call her over and Simon quickly offers for her to come over another day

Grace doesn’t know what to do and her friends ask her whats up and convince her to go, not alone obviously Jennifer is gonna go with her to make sure she doesn’t get murdered

Its awkward again, there’s small talk between Samantha, Frank, Jennifer and the two idiots and they play card games until Frank decides to finish up dinner and Jen ditches Grace because Frank is the coolest mf on the planet so Grace and Simon are alone again

They just sit there until Simon asks about her dance program and college and then they talk about that until Grace mentions her therapist and Simon’s like??? and Grace is like whoops and then they eat dinner and Grace and Jen leave

Simon goes by the resort more often but they don’t rlly talk until Grace is about to leave and Simon just apologizes for everything and Grace says she’s sorry too and Simon just doesn’t know how to respond to that so he’s like if you ever want to come back here I’ll be here

Grace does not know how to respond to that so she’s just like uhhh okay bye

The dance team comes back the following year and she sees Simon again and he’s like “sorry for fucking you up” and Grace is like “don’t give yourself so much credit I already needed therapy unless you forgot about the fact I had counseling right after you?” “I try to block out everything from before 19 tbh” “fair enough... I suppose there wasn’t much to want to remember huh” “I’m... I remember telling you, you were the best person I ever met and I meant that” Grace doesn’t know how to respond to that and then they don’t talk for the rest of the trip, they just wave at each other and smile in passing

The dance troupe grace joins after college goes on annual trips to the resort so Grace and Simon continue to have three conversations each year plus Jennifer makes sure a visit to Samantha’s and Frank’s happens

the yearning... the pining... WHEW its a lot and Samantha, Frank, and Grace’s entire dance troupe, plus the family that always vacations at the same time are SICK of it

They don’t even become close friends again until their late twenties.

The kids club thinks Grace is amazing and Kai bases their whole look off of her

Mall-rats officially happens in their thirties and they get married in their forties

when I say slowburn i meant it

Idk where to put this:

Samantha lost custody of Simon as a kid because of a hoarding problem she still struggles with but Simon is an adult now and him and Frank help keep her in check

Simon was with Samantha from a couple weeks after entering foster care and most of middle school

Samantha and Frank are actually just roommates

Grace is like “so Samantha and Frank...?” “They’re roommates” “Simon... is that what they told you?” “well yeah, but they’re seriously just roommates” “ummmm...” “Grace they’re both gay” “OH”

Simon works at the bookstore his whole life and he loves it, Grace is a professional dancer, they’re both happy

They look the same as in canon except Simon can shave and Grace gets be the fashion icon she deserves

Simon still cant dress so most of the time he just wears different sweaters he’s been given and alternates between his three pairs of jeans

#infinity train #grace monroe #simon laurent #mall-rats #its the angsty slowburn for the ages baby #literally been burning since they were 10 #whose willing to write this slowburn I would but my writing is... not great #anyway bi legends mall-rats #Samantha the cat #is a lesbian #Frank the bear #is a bear

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walker-journal · 4 years

Text

Pyrrhic Transfiguration (Adam Solo)

Participants: Adam Walker (Hunter) Danica Vassliev (NPC Spellcaster)

Context: Adam’s strength is fading fast as cult infiltration, wounds from Bloody Mary, and Apoleia Dynamis bring him close to bodily and metal collapse. Calling in favor with one of Penelope’s covenmates leads to more questions than Adam can answer about his relationship and malady.

Follows: Into the Fold Part 1, Deep Sea Blues

Content Warnings: Body Horror (Medical Transmutation), Chronic Disease (Apoleia Dynamis), Mention of Drug Use (Elixir), Animal Sacrifice, Allusions to Physical Abuse

Sorry its long

“How long has it been since your last drink Adam?”

“Why,” Adam asked from where he lay in the exact center of a ring of river clay, the Hunter so maimed from the tender mercies of Ma’al’s cult that he could barely stir from where Danica’s assistant had set him down. One half of the circle’s interior was covered in lush grass while the other half was dead burnt ash.

“I don’t want to transmute your blood into red sugar syrup by calculating the toxicity incorrectly,” Danica pointed out as her basilisk fang stylus scratched more runic equations into the soft clay circle.

“Three months.”

Danica looked up from where she had been drawing sigils on Adam’s right wrist with Lampade blood ink. “You? Adam...you’re shitting me.”

“Nope,” the fraternity captain confided, hoarse voice a wane attempt at being cheerful, “been straight edge lately. Don’t tell anyone, I’ll lose all dudebro cred and have to go into soyboy exile.”

The sorceress took one of Adam’s bare legs in the business-like fashion of a medical professional who was too familiar with wounds and physiology to be made bashful by her patient’s state of undress. “Tragic,” she affirmed, “any other stimulants, tobacco, or…”

Adam watched as Danica painted diagrams on his calf and thigh in Fae blood, eldritch mathematics evidently meant to guide magic through his body like silicon traces channel electrical currents through a circuit board. “Well I had to pop some Elixir during those hauntings a while back..”

Danica made a guttural sound of disgust and frustration in her throat. “That’s poison Adam! It’ll rot you from the inside! Jak mogłeś! Próbuję cię utrzymać przy życiu, durniu!” Danica continued to heap imprecations on Adam in Polish for his stubbornness and general dumbassery as she smoothed some calculations on the clay circle with an iron spade. She began scribing new sigils to account for any necrophage elements that still lingered in Adam’s tissues.

“Why not ask Penelope to perform regeneration rites,” Danica asked later as she took skin, hair, and saliva samples in order to account for the specific concentration of enzymes and other proteins in Adam’s body. “I can sense her power all over you, and the connection between you both would make this easier.”

“Uh her ...what...all over me?”

Danica helped raise Adam up to a sitting position, gingerly trying to avoid the lacerations and bruises that covered the athlete’s body like livid craters. “Relax Casanova,” she teased, stylus tracing a geometric web of interconnected eye-like runes up the length of Adam's spine while trying not to wince at jagged slashes, claw marks, and yellowed contusions that lined his back. “She’s used sanguimancy to put you back together a couple times now right,” she posited, earning a nod of confirmation from Adam. “Magic like that is all about bonds, an exchange of essence that catalyzes a change in reality. It’s in your marrow now Adam.”

The Hunter thought back to that night of that cursed full moon when Nell had performed what she thought would be her last full moon. She’d used both their blood to enkindle new flowers to bloom and that evening had left Adam with an inkling of the grand unity of life her arts entailed. “Yeah, that makes sense I guess.”

“There's another connection too,” Danica began, “emotion is a higher…”

Adam’s snort of jocular derision turned to a hacking cough as his broken ribs sent shuddering spasms of pain up his chest. “Sorry, I’m shit at talking about that stuff,” he admitted.

“Well you might need to start,” Danica snapped. She pressed Adam’s head down to start on a greater symbol of cerebral warding on the nape of his neck, the closed eye surrounded by a Solomonic temple and pentacle serving as a sort of occult circuit breaker that’d stop the spell’s energy from liquifying Adam’s grey matter. “Look Adam I’m not trying to slut shame you here,” she began more gently. “But Nell’s exile now, the support structure we grew up in is closed to her. We’re forbidden from even speaking with her...”

Adam met Danica’s grey eyes and comprehended that he was the sorceress' only point of contact with the woman she had to publicly denounce as an apostate. “Nell’s more than just a good time to me,” he rasped quietly, breathing shallow. “I know I’m a piece of shit when it comes to girls but I wouldn’t lie...not about that.”

Danica’s soft exhalation of relief might’ve been a bit insulting, but Adam had never been shy about explicitly stating what he wanted and what he had no interest in. “I know Esther raised all you Walkers to survive the zombie apocalypse or whatever,” Danica sighed as she began tracing the veins and muscles of Adam’s battered left arm in symbols. “But maybe drop those defenses a little for Nell? She needs more than a soldier.”

Adam bit his split bottom lip, watching Danica’s expression with bloodshot eyes. “You’re really worried about her aren’t you,” he noted, choosing not to take offense at this butting into his personal life.

Danica brushed dark tresses of hair away from her face, bracelets inscribed with aspects of the many-faced goddess letting out a metallic click on her wrists. “Necromancy, exile, hooking up with a Hunter, and getting into ...this…” Danica held up Adam’s arm to his own face, giving him a clear view of livid lesions and fingers snapped by blunt force trauma. “Yes I’m worried!”

“I’ll make sure she makes out, no matter what,” Adam assured, before raising both lacerated eyebrows at Danica’s fervent curse in Polish that he was probably luckily not understanding.

“That's exactly what I’m afraid of,” Danica sighed as she wrote equations in alchemical script across the Hunter’s forehead and temples. “Look I’m about to rip your body apart and put it together again.” The witch nodded to the human corpse and stone slabs with struggling animals tied to them that formed a sacrificial perimeter around the clay circle, raw fleshly materials for the spell. “Even with all this? There's a good chance you won’t make it Adam.”

“I know.”

Danica met those dark bloodshot eyes, so eerily devoid of fear or hesitation. “Fuck Hunters,” she exclaimed under her breath while placing a ward on Adam’s right pectoral that’d hopefully keep his heart from suffering a corner spasm during the impending ritual’s trauma. “Whatever took your powers? It’s a wound in your psyche, your soul even, and I don’t mean that figuratively.”

“That’s a thing?”

The healer nodded as she drew an intricate branching tree of overlapping runic circle’s down Adam’s sternum, with its roots twinning around his abdominal muscles. “Whatever you and Nell are doing is making it worse...like alot worse,” she emphasized. “There’s nothing I can do for that, the soul can’t be transmuted,” the medical alchemist admitted. “The best thing you could possibly do right now is stop whatever this mission is before …”

“I need to do this,” Adam said with quiet firmness, unmoved even after realizing the cults’ attempts to break his and Nells’ will to resist were hitting deeper than he’d even thought possible. “I just need to last long enough to see it though.”

“Does that still take priority over everything,” Danica prodded, as if holding out hope that Adam would fight harder for the people closest to him rather than the abstract of humanity. “Even with your powers gone?”

Adam’s silence and thousand yard stare at the sanctum’s cold stone walls was answer enough. He didn’t stir at the shrill screams of rabbits having their throats slit by Danica’s sanctified athame. The high squeal of slaughtered swine joined the last braying of a goat rasping into silence.

Blood slid down long slanted groves in the stone floor, flowing into the alchemical equations that Danica had scribed into the circle of river clay. A hiss was followed by an eruption of viscous scarlet vapor, as if the blood had become a silken cloud. The clay began to writhe and shift of its own accord. Animal bodies and a human corpse wriggled down through groves in a grotesque parody of animation, melding into the roiling clay in a sickening crunch of bones and sloshing meat.

“Last chance Walker,” Danica said, almost pleadingly.

Adam looked at the roiling ring of earth, blood, and flesh that’d become a single promethean substance. Nausea filled his gut at the thought of whatever the hell this was getting inside of him. But Adam hadn’t been raised to flinch from duty’s cost.

“Whatever it takes,” he answered.

Bowing her head, Danica spoke the concluding sequence of the grand equation written through the room and Adam’s very flesh.

Adam watched in sweat-soaked shock as his own arm ripped open, the slick strands of nerves, veins, and tendons uncoiling like unspooled thread from his bones. Adam’s world went white as ocular nerves and muscle were torn from his skull. The ring of flesh clay rushed inward, smothering Adam’s flayed body in a glissading mass. Everything became pain, sickening warmth, and the bodily alienation of things slithering around inside of him.

Danica’s chanting rose as ambient power thrummed through air, incantation harmonizing with Adam’s agonizing screams till all was one.

#solo

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blackandblueandstars · 5 years

Text

An Unlikely Arrangement Pt18

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9 Pt10 Pt11 Pt12 Pt13 Pt14 Pt15 Pt16 Pt17

TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses non-consensual relations, violence and suicide

They insisted on keeping Amy in the psych ward for three days. During this time they wanted to keep her under strict observation, so Kamilah wasn’t allowed to see her.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window. The apartment was quiet without Amy, she didn’t know how she’d lived alone in this silence for so long before her.

She sighed, standing and looking around. She’d put off the inevitable for too long. She grabbed a bucket and filled it with water, moving slowly towards the bathroom. Her lungs failed her when she saw the blood, dried on the floor, the side of the tub. She stared, remembering when she found Amy, the shattered door to her right.

She tried to still her hands as she remembered the scene. She sat the bucket down, hitting her knees harder than she’d intended. The thick smell of the blood made her sick. Adrian told her to hire someone to clean for her, but she couldn’t bear the thought of allowing someone else to clean Amy’s blood. She needed to do it, for some reason she didn’t entirely understand.

She took a deep breath and went to work, scrubbing until her arms were sore. The pain was a welcome change, her mind still stuck in that moment, replaying every second. She thought back to the night she told Amy she loved her, her heart sore.

That night had been everything to her, a turning point in her existence. The way Amy made her feel, the safety...she wish she could give that back to her. She wished that she’d been enough for her. She sighed, shaking her head.

“I can’t think like that,” she muttered. “It’s not fair to her.”

She thought back to Amy, her beautiful green eyes, her soft skin. All she wanted was to hold her in her arms, to help her feel okay again.

Her mind spirals, her thoughts growing darker and darker.

“Why?” she thought. “Why would she not want to live? What if she’d been successful? What if I lost her?”

The tears streamed down her face as she continued to scrub, the anguish overtaking her body.

She’d lost track of time as she looked at the bucket of water, blood red. The bathroom was finally clean again, but she could still see the stains. She’d always see the stains.

She stood, dumping the water and cleaning herself up. She threw away the clothes, Amy’s blood stained across them. She moved towards her bedroom but stopped at Amy’s door, drawn to the smell of her, the familiar room with all of her things.

She pushed the door in gently, looking at the room, largely undisturbed. It screamed Amy, and Kamilah wondered at how she’d managed to make this space hers. It was the only part of the apartment that really felt like her, and that broke Kamilah’s heart. She needed to do better, to make her feel more at home here. This was her home, after all...if she was willing to stay.

She touched the blankets on the bed, her hand running along the soft spot where Amy slept. Her bed was made and everything was neat and clean. She had no intention of surviving her attempt, that much was clear.

Kamilah looked to the desk, a journal atop it. She cocked her head, walking over and picking it up. There was an envelope taped to the front, addressed to Kamilah. She tore into the envelope, recognizing Amy’s handwriting.

I’m sorry.

I need you to know that this isn’t your fault. I know how good your heart is, and I know that you’ll blame yourself. We haven’t spoken, really, since you told me you loved me and I ran away. Please know that it wasn’t you, it’s me. I am broken, a burden, a broken burden. I am to blame for Lily’s life being endangered, for forcing her into being turned. And I put your life in danger, too. All because of this stupid blood running through my veins.

So, please understand why I have to do this. I have to rid the world of this blood, I have to keep you safe, to keep Lily safe, to keep Adrian safe. I cannot continue to risk others’ lives, and the only way to stop that from happening is to end my own.

My entire life, I have been a commodity. I was for him, a means to an end. And now I am, for every vampire in existence. So, I’m taking myself out of rotation.

I know this will be hard for you, and I’m sorry. You’ve been so kind to me, you’ve changed my life, and...I do love you.

But I can’t do this anymore.

Kamilah, please have a good life.

Tell Lily I love her, and that I’m sorry.

I’m so fucking sorry.

Kamilah climbed into Amy’s bed, curling into herself. She couldn’t control it anymore, the pain that cascaded over her like a raging waterfall. It was too much, the what-if, the memory of Amy torn to pieces before her. All because of a couple bruises. God, Amy. Why couldn’t she see that Kamilah would die for her in an instant? It was worth the risk, any god-damn risk, to just be in the same orbit as her. She was everything, why couldn’t she see that? How could she make her see that?

She flipped through the pages of the journal, reading Amy’s earlier entries.

I feel so alone, here. Kamilah is cold, and I am an inconvenience to her, that much is clear. I don’t want to be here, but she doesn’t want me to be here even more.

Kamilah has been kinder lately, it’s been a nice change. I feel like I can trust her, like I can be myself around her.

I think I’m falling for Kamilah, however complicated that may be. She’s everything that I’m not, and everything that I need. She is loyal and committed, and fierce as fuck. God, I’m in trouble.

There were other entries, too. Entries that weren’t about her at all.

I can’t keep him in the past. He is in everything I do. At my lowest, he is there, reminding me that I am not worthy of love, of anything good. At my best, he’s in the background, smiling, waiting. It feels like everything I do is laced with him, because of him. He made me who I am. How can I leave him behind me?

Another entry caught her eye, shocking her.

I’ve seen the woman before, and the man. She’s always looked so vulnerable, she reminded me of myself with...him. The man, his dark hair and blue eyes -- sometimes red eyes -- he is magnetic, dark, terrifying. She seems to love him, but also fear him.

And then:

The woman is Kamilah, I’ve finally seen her face. And that man...oh, Kamilah. My heart breaks to think that she’s experienced such things. That her and I aren’t so different, after all.

Kamilah continued reading, tucking herself into Amy’s blankets, the smell of her surrounding her. And finally she felt settled, for the first time since she found her, she could breathe.

Part 19

Tag list: @h-doodles @scarlet-letter-a0114 @wildsayeed @lightning-fury @galaxyside-0 @blogsupitssam @ilovetaylor13m @la-guera-69 @adrianrainesworld @iam-the-fuckin-queen @hela-odinsdottir @jen825 @sheyah @lifesadance96 @theoblivionforest @kamilahsayeed-owns-me @sayeedbound @scaryqueenbee @caliseds @kamilahismyqueen

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thinking-outside-the-giftbox18 · 4 years

Text

A Pill In Time: Chapter 1 - Welcome to St. Dymphna’s Psych Ward

Part 1 - The Cafeteria

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747456/chapters/62524816

Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/932664360-a-pill-in-time-ahit-psych-ward-au-chapter-1

Summary: An alternate universe where A Hat In Time [by Gears For Breakfast] is set in a psychic ward and anyone non-human in the game are human now.

Notes: The writer has done research on the mental disorders yet has trouble understanding and memorizing them, please don’t harass or insult them as they have tried to be empathetic and avoid spreading misinformation.

The perspective of the main character changes to the next character to show what the main character is really doing.

TW: Mental disorders [Autism/Autism Spectrum, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, etc.], the perspective of a child can be dark too, self-loathing, mentions of physical abuse [not kids fighting each other, we were kids who fought our own siblings before, unless it was physical abuse on your perspective…nevermind…], mild swearing, might be boring depending on how I write this story.

I swear I’m not crying…I’m not crying at all! When I get angry, the sweat goes into my eyeballs! I’m gonna kick Timmy to the ground till he becomes a vegetable and I’ll chop him up and eat him for dinner, and he better taste delicious!!! Okay Hana, calm yourself…You have to get your toys first before anyone else can! I see what looked like a cafeteria up ahead, and then I heard what sounded like a girl making karate noises and punching someone. I was almost close to the source of the sound when I saw this girl, she had blond

hair that was tied into pigtails, but the bands are almost at the end of the hair. She was kicking a big security guy who looks like he was in pain, she stopped and turned towards me, she had yellow eyes that stared at me with surprise and confusion.

Before I can say anything, she ran away and I had to follow her. She went inside the cafeteria and kept ducking under the tables and dodging the other security guys…who all look the same…weird. While chasing her, I noticed something near the tall barred windows and I ran over to it. It was my blue blanket with star patterns, still folded and rolled in a bundle! I grabbed it and shoved it inside the bag. I got up and looked around…great, I lost her. I cautiously tried to get to the exit, but then I heard a loud booming voice, I almost hit my head under the tables from jumping!

“FIND THAT BLONDE GIRL AND MAKE SURE TO PUT HER IN THE ROOM!!!”

My ears ring from that yell, I really don’t know or want to know what “The room” is. I peep up and see a chef with black hair and a scowl on his face, he has a fancy mustache and bushy brows. He had both his arms on his hip and commanding the guards around, I quickly left the room before he can see me.

Mark’s P. O. V.

I looked around the cafeteria, making sure no table is left unturned for Maria, that little she-devil…As I was watching out for her, I could have sworn that I had seen someone ran out the cafeteria… Might be that I’m really tired.

Hana’s P. O. V.

That was close…I looked around and see that I have some options, there was a flight of stairs going up and an elevator. I was busy thinking of my choice to venture to the other floors that I did not notice the clicking sounds from the badges on my bagpack. I jumped and turned to see that girl again, who looked at me like a curious owl.

She walked around me, looking up and down, suspicious and serious. Is…Is that red marker on her cheeks??

Maria’s P. O. V.

This brown haired girl with blue eyes looked at me with surprise; maybe she couldn’t believe the glorious sight of Miss Maria, the Marvelous Hero of the St. Dymphna’s Psych Ward!

That is a working title, by the way!

“Hello there! You must be new here! I am Maria the Marvelous and Welcome to the Psych Ward! What are your superpowers?” I introduced myself to the newbie; she looked at me silently and blinked, like any clueless person. She must be a mute, like those two weirdoes from the third floor who scare the security goons.

“You must have a really cool superpower, kid! I’m the hero of this place and I’m currently on a mission! Wanna join the rebellion?” She was about to open her mouth, but I know the answer! “Great! I had to hire you after watching you escape from the bad guys’ headquarters, that’s some pretty good sneaking if you ask me!” Then I remembered the badges on her bag, I ask about them “Those are some pretty cool badges you got there! Do they mean anything? Do they relate to that super cool superpower of yours?”

Just the thought of having a badge for having a superpower already sounded awesome! “I saw this boy with a red jacket running around and dropping off these weird looking toys on the corners of the building before I got here. Do those belong to you?” She nodded her head immediately, good to know she’s not deaf. “I can help you find them all since we’re comrades now! Or better yet, we’re partners in crime! Whaddya’ say?” I held up a hand for a high-five, and then realized she’s shorter than me.

Hana’s P. O. V.

No offense to Maria but she was and sounds bossy and obnoxious. However, I was really grateful for the help she had given me. I jumped up and immediately high-fived Maria back, I spent my time with Timmy to know to never be slow to a high-five. She seemed impressed by that and she led the way.

As we found my comfort toys one by one around the ground floor, she talked about the ward and the tall tales of the residents who live in the second and third floor above. There’s a grumpy old man who yells at everything and argues with another guy who has big poofy hair, a long haired tall man who screamed at the guards and one of them sort of died, a skinny red eyed man who chants to himself while his fingers are always entangled with threads, and finally this really creepy lady who screams every day and attacks anyone on sight. The last one kind of scared me because after Maria told me that tale, a distant scream rang out and Maria looked equally as scared as I am, even though she later denied it.

Anyways, she takes me back to the cafeteria and I’m making sure to not open my mouth, though it was getting harder everytime Maria talked.

Maria says that she had recalled seeing one of my comfort toys in the kitchen, I show my “upset face” which is me lowering both my eyebrows.

“Don’t worry, I, Miss Maria the Marvelous, know a shortcut!” she exclaimed, peaking my interest. It’s started to feel like an action spy movie! I listened to her directions, making sure to not leave out anything and nod my head to show that I listened. “Okay, new kid! Go in there and get that thing! Knock ‘em dead if you get caught!” I waved and ran off to the back door.

Maria’s P. O. V.

I waved her back as she sneaked into the kitchen back door, to be honest…I feel happy to have a friend after being here for so long…

She is planning to betray you…~

My heart sank and eyes widened. ‘S-She won’t…! I can tell!’

She is silently planning on telling about you to those stupid goons…~ And laugh at your ugly face for believing in her~

‘She wouldn’t do that!! She was so nice!’

She will watch you cry and take away your place as the hero. Her toys are her strength, that is why she was looking for them~ She’ll become a powerful villain and betray you to the very end~

…I am her friend. I trust her. I’ll prove you wrong! She’ll thank me and never leave me! Watch me! When I enter the cafeteria, she’ll open the door after getting in the kitchen.

But I am always right. Without me, you’ll be nothing…We were there when “he” put you in this place, we’ll always will be~

…

I doubt you now.

So be it.

I entered the cafeteria cautiously, and waited for the newbie to unlock the door, but it was still locked… Maybe she bailed out on us…~ Or she got stuck somewhere…

Suddenly the door unlocked and the kid stood by it while she gave a kind smile at me. “Well, you took your time, didn’t you? Don’t make me wait like that ever again!” I huffed and turn up my nose in annoyance before playfully snicker and hold her hand. She was surprised but smiled back at me before following me to the kitchen.

Hana’s P. O. V.

I was a bit shocked at Maria’s fake snobbish attitude, but I knew it was just pretend. To be fair, it was difficult to pass through the vents of the kitchen, I was lucky to find gloves before going in there. Everything was so sticky and slimy, and even so…small! I shuddered at the thought of it. I don’t mind letting my guard down for Maria, she isn’t so bad after all. I hope it stays that way after I get my comfort toys back.

#giftbox_treasures #a pill in time #ahit #a hat in time #ahit au #ahit fanfic #ahit hat kid #ahit mustache girl #ahit mafia goons #ahit mafia boss #ahit Timmy

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originalhybridloverfics · 5 years

Text

Rememberance Ch13

A/N: I hope you like this chapter!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The feel of his lips on her suddenly was shocking at first. Felicity hadn’t kissed him since she showed him her mark, she had been careful not to cross physical boundaries.

Her head told her she should pull away. They just took drastic measures to break the bond that had started to form between them, but his lips against hers felt soft and right. So fucking right.

How could something that might be wrong feel so damned good?

She pressed her lips back against his, feeling a surge of desperation coming from him, she buried her hand in his hair, her lips parted when she felt his tongue sweep across them.

Oliver groaned as he explored her mouth with his tongue, the little noise she made in the back of her throat, heated his blood, and all he could think about was hearing that sound again and again.

He cupped her face in his hands as she clutched at his shoulders, moving over him.

His hand had just started a path down her arm when he heard a loud throat clearing.

“Enough of that.” Talina’s sharp, commanding voice cut through. “Unless you plan on going through this all again because you reformed the bond.”

Felicity reluctantly broke the kiss and was surprised to find that she was, straddling Oliver’s lap, pressed against him.

How did she get there? Her cheeks heated. God, just kissing Oliver made her forget everything else. She felt consumed by him to the point she wasn’t even aware of her actions.

“Um, that was..” Felicity trailed off, locking eyes with Oliver. He was staring at her like she was the sun, and he was afraid to look away.

“Hot.”

Felicity’s eyes shot to Sara, who stood with her hip cocked, watching them with a little smirk. “It’s great that Oliver didn’t stay dead, but how about you wait to jump each other’s bones until you’re alone.”

Felicity blushed and climbed off Oliver’s lap, Oliver reached for her hand not wanting to relinquish all contact with Felicity.

Oliver shifted under Talina’s gaze as she stared at them like she was waiting for them to make one wrong move, and then she would pounce. Her clear disapproval could rival the look his parents often got.

“If the two of you are going to act like rabbits and go at one another then be sure not to touch the skin of the mark or else you will start the bond to form again, and it’s the last thing either of you need and stopping your heart and bringing you back cannot be the solution for every time you two can’t keep your hands to yourself.”

Felicity pursed her lips, feeling like this is what it must feel like when faced with a disapproval mother. Something she wasn’t all that familiar with. Her own mother was not strict by any means. She had only one rule that Felicity always remained safe. That was it.

“We’ll keep our hands to ourselves,” Felicity assured her.

Oliver’s eyes shot to her, alarmed. “We will?”

Felicity looked at him archly, and he nodded.

“Yes, we will.” Oliver agreed, much to his dismay.

“Good, now that we have broken the bond, we need to find a way to end the curse that has been placed on you.”

Oliver’s eyes widened as what he saw came back to him. “Could this curse could have occurred during a past life and carried onto the next one?”

Felicity’s brow furrowed. “Why are you asking about past lives?”

“When my heart stopped..”

“What?” Felicity prodded gently when he trailed off.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it was like I was transported back to a life I had already lived,” said Oliver, he looked to Talina. “How’s that possible?”

“Seeing a past life in brief moments of death is not unheard of in my line of work,” Talina said. “But it is rare.” her eyes lit up with interest. “What did you see?”

“My name was Jonas, I was some kind of Lord or something, and I lived in one of those large old fashioned houses, and I was married.”

“I’m sorry what?” Sara gave a small laugh. “You’re a complete commitment-phobe. Are you sure you didn’t just imagine things?”

“No,” Oliver shook his head. “It felt too real.’

“Who was your wife?” Felicity asked, hearing he had a wife hit her harder than she would have liked. Which was ridiculous. Oliver wasn’t married now. What did it matter that he was in a past life?

Oliver took her hand in his. “You were. Your name was Megan, and you had dark hair.”

Sara snorted. “See you had to be imagining it. Felicity’s a blonde.”

“Actually.” Felicity looked at her sheepishly. “I dye it.”

Sara’s lips parted in surprise. “What?”

“We were married?” Felicity asked, focusing back on Oliver. “Were we happy?”

“No,” Oliver admitted with a grimace. “We weren’t. I was an adulterous jerk, and I’m pretty sure I, Jonas had erectile dysfunction and took it out on his wife.”

Sara snorted. “Oh, wow, that is gold.”

“You cheated on me?” Felicity’s eyes narrowed.

“I didn’t,” Oliver defended, putting his hand that wasn’t holding hers over his chest. “My past self cheated on your past self, and did I mention he was a dick, and Megan deserved so much better. I would never cheat on you. You are beautiful and amazing, and the thought of anyone cheating on you is insane.”

Felicity’s lip pulled into a smile. “And brilliant. You forgot to mention that. It’s the most important.”

“Oh my God,” Sara said. “It’s like you can’t stop flirting now. What’s up with that?”

“Enough.” Talina’s voice cut through the air. “Can we get back to what’s important. Did anything happen that can possibly relate to the curse that is placed on you and Felicity now? Do you know if your past life had the curse as well? Had it originated yet?”

“I don’t know. Jonas had a mistress Isabella, she wanted him to leave Megan and Jonas was going to divorce his wife not because he didn’t love her but because he believed she was unfaithful too.”

“How do you know all this?” Felicity wondered.

“It’s hard to explain, it was like I was sharing a body with Jonas.”

“You mean there were two consciousness, yours and his?” Felicity asked for clarification.

“Yes.”

“Why did he think Megan was unfaithful?” Talina asked.

“Love letters to other men got out, and it was public knowledge that she was sleeping around only she wasn’t.”

“And how do you know that? You were there for like a few minutes.” Sara joined the conversation again.

“Megan had fainting spells. Jonas thought she was pregnant with another’s man’s baby, but she wasn’t. The doctor assured him she was still a virgin.”

“You’re saying in your past life you were married to Felicity, and you never consummated the marriage. Your past self better of had a dysfunctional erectile problem, or else there was something seriously wrong with him.”

Felicity’s brow furrowed. “So if I wasn’t cheating and I wasn’t pregnant in this past life, what was wrong with me?”

“I think you were sick, Jonas was terrified when he learned your fainting spells were not because of a pregnancy.”

“What did Jonas care he was divorcing her, he had a mistress, he never had sex with his wife, it doesn’t sound like he cared about her at all,” Sara interjected.

“No, he did,” Oliver argued. “He loved her. I felt it, but he was having problems being with her physically, and it made him feel like less of a man, and the rumors that she had been with other men didn’t help.”

Oliver didn’t excuse the man’s behavior toward his wife, but it had to be hell having a wife like Megan and being unable to be with her.

“This is good.” Talina murmured.

Felicity shot her a look. “What about any of this is good?”

“The issues stemming in your past life is toxic, the curse more than likely had already taken place, and there are clues as to what the meaning behind them is. Megan despite how awful her husband was to her, she loved him, and no one else and Jonas couldn’t be with his wife though he wanted to be.”

All three stared at her blankly, and Talina felt like she was talking to monkeys.

“Megan was devastated by Jonas’s affairs and made up the story of being with other men to get her husband's attention. Jonas had lovers because he couldn’t make love to his wife. We learned a lot from Oliver’s look into the past, maybe that is the secret to figuring this out.” Talina reasoned. “Maybe the secret to breaking the curse is finding out where it originated from.”

“And how are they supposed to do that because dying can not be the solution,” Sara stated.

“Leave it to me,” Talina said. “Give me a few days. I have an idea, but I need to research it and evaluate it as a viable option.”

“And that idea would be?” Felicity asked.

“Dream walking.”

“Dream walking?” Oliver repeated. “People can actually do that?”

“Yes, it’s a technique that I am vaguely familiar with, it requires dream root which some of the ingredients isn’t easy to come by, but with it, I should be able to help you walk through your past life. It will be like you’re there, but you have no effect or control over what you see.”

Sara bit down on her cheek to keep from speaking up because cursed soulmates were one thing but dream walking and past lives? This was just getting crazier.

“That sounds cool and all but that doesn’t sound possible,” Oliver said skeptically. “Hell, I don’t know even know how it was possible that I saw what I saw. All I know is that I did and not I’m all too sure it’s something that can happen again.”

Talina looked at Felicity. “Felicity, I know I can help you, but I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing, can you do that?”

Felicity looked at Sara and Oliver, their looks were skeptical. She understood where they were coming from, all of this was insane, and it wouldn’t be too hard to convince herself that they all lost their minds and belong in a psych ward, but there was a stronger part of her that needed to figure this out.

Her and Oliver’s curse was a mystery that needed to be solved. Sooner rather than later.

And she couldn’t explain it, but she felt this familiarity toward Talina, and she knew she could trust her. There was just something inside that told her Talina was the one person who could help them figured this out and put an end to it and then she and Oliver could continue living their lives without any creepy curses looming over their heads.

Felicity looked back at Talina and nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll take the dream root.” she looked at Oliver. “And before you protest that you should be the one to do it, don’t. Dream walking is harmless.”

Oliver shot her a sheepish look because he was about to protest.

“I will get the dream root. It will take a few days until THEN stay out of trouble and do not reform the bond.” Talina looked from Oliver and Felicity. “Do not touch each other’s marks. If you can help it try and keep your hands to yourselves. This is serious, and your lack of control is not gonna help in the long run.”

Felicity’s face flushed and she looked at Oliver who was doing best to look anywhere but at Talina while Sara snorted under her breath. “Good luck there.”

Felicity shot Sara a look wanting to insist that she could control herself but decided against it when all she really wanted to do was stay close to Oliver in any capacity possible. Instead, she stood, tugging Oliver up with her. “We’ll be in town until we can figure this out so just call me when you have the dream room, and we’ll come back.”

Talina nodded. “In the meantime, be careful around each other.”

Felicity nodded and with a goodbye left the shop with Oliver and Sara.

Diggle was waiting in the car, listening to a sports game on the radio. “How’d it go?”

“Okay, considering Oliver died,” Sara answered before either Oliver or Felicity could.

Diggle jerked in his seat, whirling around on them. “What?!”

“It was only for a few minutes, but it helped the situation,” Oliver said. “We know more now in any case.”

John looked at Felicity. “Are you three crazy?”

“Maybe just a bit,” Felicity nodded. “I’ll tell you all about it over lunch, and you can judge just how crazy we are.”

John pulled the car out onto the street. “This should be good,” he said with dry sarcasm, hoping they were all just yanking his chain.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver watched Felicity entranced while she filled Digg in ON everything that happened while they were in Talina’s shop, he found the way she seemed to talk with her hands just as much as she did with her voice endearing.

Sara occasionally butted in with her own commentary, and by the time Digg was told everything he was convinced they had all lost their minds or were being duped.

“You three arer trying to get me fired, aren’t you?” John asked, then looked at Oliver. “What the hell were you expecting me to tell your mother if you stayed dead? Moira Queen is an impossible person to deal with when it comes to her children.”

Oliver opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by a loud scream that caught everyone’s attention in the small diner they found themselves in just off the Vegas strip.

“Oh God,” Felicity groaned, she would know that scream and voice anywhere.

A blonde-haired woman appeared at their table jumping up and down. She wore high heels, a short purple dress that left little to the imagination. “Baby girl!”

Felicity shot the others a look of embarrassment before standing and setting her hand on the woman’s shoulders to keep her from jumping. “Mom, mom, calm down, you’re making everyone look at us.”

Oliver looked at Sara wide-eyed and mouth. “Mom?”

Sara shook her head and threw her hands up. She had no idea.

John fought back an amused grin.

“I had no idea you were in town, why didn’t you tell me?” Donna didn’t wait for an answer before throwing her arms around Felicity, hugging her tightly.

“Mom, I can’t breathe.” Felicity gasped out as her mother rocked her back and forth.

Donna released her. “Sorry, I’m just so happy. I missed you baby.”

“I miss you, too.” Felicity was relieved that her airways were no longer being constructed. “I just got in last night. I was going to stop by tonight after you get off work. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Sara coughed deliberately, and Donna’s eyes shot to the table. “Hi.”

Felicity breathed deeply knowing there was no avoiding it. “Mom, this is my friends, Sara, Oliver, and Digg. Guys this my mother, Donna.”

“They’re all so good looking,” Donna told Felicity, not even pretending to whisper.

“Please forgive my mother, she speaks her mind more than is sometimes appropriate,” Felicity said, pulling a chair from an empty table and moving to their table, knowing her mother would want to join them. “We were just grabbing some lunch.”

“We would love it if you would join us, Mrs. Smoak.” Oliver smiled widely.

Donna stared at him for a moment before whirling around on her daughter. “Please tell me you are more than just friends.”

Felicity’s eyes widened. “Mom!”

“I’m only saying,” Donna turned back at Oliver looking him over. “It would be a shame to let all he has to go to waste.”

Surprisingly, Oliver blushed, while John and Sara laughed.

“Oh my God, mom,” Felicity groaned.

“I can’t help if I have eyes, baby girl, I mean, look at him, you would be insane not to benefit from being close with him.”

“Mom, please stop talking about sex and Oliver before I die of embarrassment.” Felicity sat back down.

Donna laughed, taking a seat. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Felicity.”

“There is trust me, there is,” Felicity said.

Donna just waved off her comment. “So how do you three know my daughter?”

“Felicity works for my family company,” Oliver answered. “But I met her through Sara.”

“We met at the bar I work at,” Sara interjected. “Been friends ever since.”

“We met a couple of days ago,” John added. “She’s far too smart for Oliver here. I have no idea what she sees in these two knuckles heads.” he waved a hand between Sara and Oliver.

“Nice,” Sara smirked as Oliver protested in his own defense. “Hey,”

“Oh! Your that Oliver!” Donna’s eyes lit up with recognition. “I thought you looked familiar. I’ve seen you in TMZ a few times.”

Oliver grimaced. “I want to say that was me on a bad day, but I’m not sure if that would be the truth.”

Donna waved him off. “You look great, and I live in Vegas, I’ve seen plenty of men drunker than anyone should be.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Felicity commented, raising a teasing brow at Oliver.

“How long are you in town for?” Donna focused on her little girl.

“I’m not sure yet, but we’re staying at the Marriot for now,” Felicity answered.

“You don’t have to stay there, you can come home with me.”

“Mom, your house is too small for all of us, the Marriot is more than okay for us to stay in.”

“Well, are you at least staying in the better suites?” Donna questioned.

“Nothing but the best,” Oliver assured her.

“Good, good, why you’re here you should show your friends all the best places on the strip to visit.” Donna continued. “Oh, and make sure you go out and have some fun while you’re here.”

Felicity said nothing and just let her mother talk, instead, she tried to analyze her friend’s reactions to her mother.

Sara clearly loved her mother so far, Oliver looked delighted just to talk with her, and Digg just looked more entertained than anything else.

Felicity sighed quietly. The Donna train had left the station. She might as well get on board and make the best of a situation that could have been worse.

Felicity, Oliver, Sara, and Digg ventured around town after lunch, Donna heading to work after getting Felicity to promise to have breakfast with her tomorrow.

Sara wanted to hit all Felicity’s old spots and was not disappointed when Felicity took them to Emerald Lux later that night. It was a night club, booths on the upper floor, an open bar, a full dance floor with a stage for live performances.

Sara had no problem finding a dance partner on the dance floor, John stayed close to Oliver, refusing Oliver’s offer for him to take the night off, instead choosing to keep an eye on him and Felicity as they sat at the other end of the bar having drinks and murmuring amongst themselves.

“What exactly did you see?” Felicity wondered. “I mean, I know you already told us what you saw but what do you really think had been going on?”

“If what I saw was to be believed, I think Jonas was in love with his wife, but he was experiencing performance issues, and he took it out on his wife by cheating on her, again and again, to prove to himself that he wasn’t useless in the bedroom. And I think Megan didn’t understand why her husband was too ashamed to try with her, so she said things that weren’t true to get a reaction out of him. I think she believed he was disgusted by her. Jonas was planning to divorce her even though he knew it would ruin her.” Oliver wanted to punch Jonas in the face over and over for the way he treated Megan.

“No offense but I want to punch him in the balls,” Felicity said disgustedly.

“I know the feeling,” he muttered. “I mean, Jonas had this beautiful wife who loved him even after the way he treated her, and he was just throwing her away because he couldn’t get over his ego or his pride.” Oliver looked at Felicity. “I know I’m not the greatest guy in the world, but I would never do what he did. Especially not to you.”

Felicity reached out, locking their hands together and smiled sweetly. “No, you wouldn’t. I would kill you.”

“Seriously?” Oliver’s brow moved toward his hairline.

“I’m kidding about the killing you part,” Felicity admitted, and Oliver laughed. “But I would never stick around for a guy who blamed me because he was inadequate. I have more self-respect than that.”

Oliver’s hand tightened around hers. “I wouldn’t want you to. In the short time, we have known each other I’ve seen how amazing and strong and good you are, and that is exactly the kind of person you deserve in your life.”

Oliver's words touched Felicity, a warmth spreading through her chest.

“You really scared me,” she confessed. “I didn’t realize how much you got underneath my skin until I thought you weren’t going to come back to me.”

Oliver leaned toward her, his eyes flickering to her lips, when she didn’t move away, he closed the distance between them and pressed his mouths to hers softly.

He didn’t try to deepen it, just feeling the brush of her lips against his was enough. He felt connected to her, on a deeper level than he could remember feeling with any woman before her.

He pulled back reluctantly. “As long as you want me to, I’ll always come back to you.”

If he were ever lucky enough to get the chance to spend his life with Felicity the way he would never take it for granted. Not like Jonas did with Megan.

He would never take Felicity for granted. He wouldn’t mess around on her. He sure as hell would never blame her for his faults, and he would never let her question what he felt about her.

“Oliver,” Felicity murmured, curling her hand around the back of his neck and kissed him again her mouth moving over his.

Things were different between them now. Oliver and Felicity were allowing themselves to feel something more despite the obstacle put in front of them because of their curse. However, it was becoming increasingly harder to care about that when just being together felt this good.

Felt this right. Like two missing puzzle pieces finally coming together again. Their jagged edges fitting perfectly.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

A/N: Thanks for reading. Feedback is very much appreciated!

Tags: @6i66leserna @angelamccauley15 @almondblossomme @ilikethebackofyourneck @omglovechrissie @erika-amber @rainbowuniquern @scu11y22 @msbeccieboo @keabbs

#arrow #Olicity #arrow fic #olicity fanfic #oliver queen #oliver x felicity #soulmate au #soulmate fic #fic: rememberance #Felicity Smoak

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mlmdarkfiction · 5 years

Text

Oh, Where Have You Been, Billy Boy? - Chapter 3

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS-

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 (here)

Read This Chapter On AO3-

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With the incident of Billy grabbing your wrist in mind you spend the rest of your rounds being just as a courtesy as your job allows, currently too frightened to go beyond protocol.

Every once in a while you’ll stop what it is you’re doing, eyes lingering down to the skin of your wrist, it’s like you expect to see a bruise forming there. But you never do.

It’s not as if you would bruise from something like that, Billy hadn't grabbed you hard at all, more than anything it hurt your psyche more than your physicality.

The rest of your rounds go without any further incident.

Currently you’re cleaning up the face of a patient, you’d managed to shave away his long access beard, and now you were using a warm cloth to free him of any leftover shaving cream or hair.

The patient, a man close to his 60’s, Eddie, is far more lucid than Billy had been. Attempting to make personal conversation with which you ignored with all the natural politeness you’ve been trained to.

“There, now you’re all set. Don’t you feel better?”

James continue to ignore your actual conversation attempts. It seems he’s the type with whom doesn’t want your conversation unless it pertains to exactly what it is he wants to talk about.

You’re gathering up your things, the bowl of water, and the shaving cream when you hear it.

“You whore! You’re married? You didn’t tell me you were married!”

There’s no time to reflect on the fact, the man’s hands are wrapped around your throat tightly squeezing.

“Slut, whore!”

Your hands grip violently at his own, nails digging into his flesh as you attempt to pry the hands away from suffocating you. All you do is leave bloody scratches, having no where near the power needed to free yourself, although your desperate attempts do let you see just what it is that sets Eddie off.

Your ring. It’s not actually a wedding ring, or even an engagement ring. The symbolism is far more innocent than that, the ring was simply a gift, and one that only fit on your ring finger. Wearing jewelry isn’t allowed. It’s a rule you knew, and had followed the previous days, but it must have slipped your mind today.

So really, it’s your fault that the patient lashed out.

The irony of your last thoughts being ones that might excuse your killers outburst hits you, but thankfully they don’t come true.

Eddie was making enough of a ruckus with his yelling, still just insults of calling you a whore or a slut, that it had gotten the attention of the guards.

One pulls Eddie off of you, managing just barely to keep him at bay while one of the nurses administer something to calm Eddie down, while the other guard helps you to your feet.

It’s hard. You’re barely able to stand, lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, and struggling to keep your shaking knees up. Noticing this the guard all but carries you out of the room, and down the hall.

The sound of Eddie’s yelling already growing softer between the distance put between the two of you, and no doubt the effect of the medication kicking in.

You’re trembling as you’re brought back do your office and finally able to stand on your own.

“Stay here,” The guard tells you. His tone is firm, and annoyed, and he carries an aura of superiority around him.

If not for your current state, you’d honestly be offended, and perhaps even say something.

“You need to be checked out by a doctor.”

The first thing you do when the guard leaves, is to slip the ring from your finger and into your pocket.

After all, as small a chance as it is, you don’t want to get in trouble for this incident.

It hurts to talk. Your throat is still sore as you tell the doctor everything that had happened, minus the rings involvement. To your surprise, the doctor only reassures you. She explains that aside from some painful looking bruising that your neck is fine, and more than that, she tells you that Eddie is one of the more severe patients in the ward.

“It’s not your fault, what happened,” Her hands gently check over your throat, double and triple checking you’re alright.

“Even on his best days, Mr.Gluskin isn’t anywhere near being stable, you understand? I’m sorry no one warned you before hand, but it’s better to always have a guard or two in his room with you just in case.” It’s almost relieving in a way. Despite feeling very much responsible, it does, in a way, make you feel better to know it’s likely that ring, or no ring, Eddie may have eventually snapped at you. And now you had learned a lesson and new better.

On top of that, it wasn’t as if you were seriously harmed.

No harm, no foul as they say.

“Do you want to head home early?” The doctor asks, gathering her things to leave your office. “If you do I wouldn’t blame you, and it’s customary when these sorts of things happen, but ultimately the decision is yours.”

She’s right. The decision is yours. And that’s why, ultimately, you decide to stay. Problems aside, you’re dedicated to doing this job right.

“If you’re sure…” The Doctor seems surprised by your response, no doubt by the fact any other nurse in your shoes, head or not, would likely take the chance to go home after such an event and not even think about returning.

“Just have a guard with you for the rest of the day alright? If not for your own sake than for mine.”

She’s a nice woman, and she seems to actually care for your well being, still, that doesn’t change your obvious distaste for the guard who’d brought you here, having saved you or not. So instead you simply nod.

“Of course.”

Even if you don’t intend on doing any such thing.

However you do take your lunch before venturing out into the halls to continue your work. Making your way to the cafeteria to buy a cold sandwich which you then eat alone. You can see your reflection in the glass panes. Over the thirty minutes you take to eat the hand printed bruises begin to blossom up around your flesh, the red marks obviously matching those of the fingers that had tried so desperately to snuff out your life.

There’s no hiding them for now. No scarves or any other form of cover up available to you now. You can only sigh at the thought of going home, and how Sergei will react. That is if he is home, if he does react.

You decide with a sigh, that you’ll buy some cover up at the store. You never saw yourself having to buy makeup before, but...As your cold fingers trace the handprints pressed into your skin, you suppose there’s a start for everything.

Billy waits, and waits, and waits. He’s still lethargic from the drugs. He stays in the corner by his bed where you had left him, curled in on himself knees to his chest. Despite being drugged into submission he knows the hospital routine well.

When you don’t come back he’s angry.

Angrier still when a different nurse comes in your sted, attempting to get him to take his medication. He spits in her face, and earns a slap to his own.

It’s like a switch is flipped. He’s absolutely feral now, movements still slowed as he growls and thrashes. Billy doesn’t bite her, but acts as if he’s going to. He can feel the spittle and drool running down his chin.

The nurse isn’t afraid of Billy, or to put it differently, the nurse isn’t afraid to be rough with Billy. She shoves him back hard, his head smacks off the cold tile floor, and he feels himself giving into unconsciousness.

“Fuckin’ animal!”

By the time you get back to checking on Billy it’s near the end of your shift. A separate nurse had been asked to cover your patients while you’d been seen by the Doctor.

Although you could begin the process of clocking out and leaving now, you didn’t want to just leave. You’d promised Billy you’d return, and he still needed his haircut, and to be shaved. It was a promise. And you were going to keep it.

Your knock is gentle, made with just the tips of your knuckles. Technically you should be allowed to enter a patient’s room without knocking, however you’ve never been the type to follow such rules. They seem like such an invasion of privacy, something that affects the patient-physician relationship, and makes actual healing that much harder.

You wait to hear an okay from Billy, but it never comes.

“Mr.Lenz?”

Once again you knock, and once again you’re met with nothing in response.

“If you don’t answer me I’m going to enter anyway, Mr.Lenz, is that alright?”

Nothing. Nothing but silence.

“Alright, I’m coming in.”

The opening of the door is intentionally slow, you want to give Billy time to compose himself or prepare for your entrance if he needs it, despite the many warnings you’d already given.

It quickly becomes obvious why there had been no response though. Your blood running cold as you see it, Billy on the ground of his room, beneath a puddle of his own blood.

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hnrywinchester · 6 years

Text

Fare Thee Well- - Chapter 2

Summary: She hasn’t seen Gabriel since he died nine years ago, then a phone call changes everything.

Pairing: Gabriel x OFC

Series Warnings: Angst, Smut, Swearing, PTSD Gabriel, Character Deaths, Follows Canon 13x18 and on

Beta’d by: @aquietuniverse

Words: 4.8k

Chapter 1

Masterlist

“Sam!” Liv yelled, her eyes staying locked on the golden amber eyes beside her.

Whatever deep, dark vault of her psyche she’d locked Gabriel away in over the years burst open. It coursed through her, spreading like wildfire as it burned through the walls and barricades blocking him away. Every emotion he’d ever awakened in her rekindled, each piece of her he’d broken dragging back into place. A small, angry part of her wanted to reject how easily her heart was welcoming him again. He’d broken it far beyond repair and here it was offering itself to him again as if it wasn’t being held together by string, bits crumbling at the slightest memory of him.

“Gabriel.” She sputtered again, craving that voice she’d all but forgotten.

“How do I know it’s really you?” He asked meekly, water welling in his lower lids.

He knew it was her. It had to be. She looked different. Harder. Colder. Tiny lines has formed around her eyes and he noticed a few gray hairs around her temples. She’d be 35 now if he’d kept track of time properly.

Asmodeus had never been able to capture her quite right. He may have had the power, but he didn’t have the skill. It’s all in the nuances. Like when her lips twitched to the side when she was holding back tears, or how her eyes flicked down whenever she was embarrassed (and everything embarrassed her). But his favorite was the way she relaxed when she actually truly felt safe. The woman never relaxed. She was constantly on edge, ready to whirl and shove the nearest thing she could find through someone, or something’s, chest. He’d been on the receiving end a few times, she had a skill. But those snippets of peace where she let that guard down, when her shoulders dropped from their contracted position by her neck and her face softened, that was something Asmodeus could never replicate.

“Are you from Tennessee?” She whispered, lips tugging into a smirk, “cause you’re the only ten I see.”

His eyes snapped shut and he felt his tension and fears slowly begin to melt away. Maybe he actually was home. Maybe this was finally over…

“Hey! What’s up?” Sam interrupted, running into the room, his eyes snapping over to the now responsive angel.

“Go get his grace,” Liv ordered, not even turning her attention to the towering figure in the doorway, “we’re gonna help you, ok?”

He noticed the restraint in her voice, how she tiptoed with her tone, careful to not give too much of herself away.

Sam returned moments later with Castiel and Gabriel could hear his grace pulsing as soon as it entered the room. With cautious eyes, Liv watched as Sam held the glass vial up to him, the glimmering blue fog drifting back to its rightful home.

“Is it helping?” Castiel inquired, a tinge of hope evident in his voice.

“I... I don’t know.” Gabriel answered, his eyes averting to Liv, searching for reassurance.

“Sam, where’s the bathroom? And some rags. So we can... try and clean him up a bit.” Liv inquired, her voice cracking.

“Down the hall to the right is a washroom, there should be some towels in there.” Sam responded as Gabriel’s eyes shot over to him.

Panic tightened over the angels chest as she exited the room. The calm that had washed over him was dissipating as he was left with Sam and Castiel. This was unfamiliar, it wasn’t home, it wasn’t safe here. He had to get out, he had to run. His grace was flowing through him, attempting and failing to fill all the broken cracks and holes within him. It wasn’t enough. He was shattered. Nothing short of a miracle was going to repair him now, and miracles walked out when dad did.

“Hello?” Sam blurted out, answering his phone, pulling Gabriel from his thoughts.

“Samuel.” A thick southern accent drawled.

Gabriel’s heart stopped. He could feel the blood draining from his face as his body went cold and rigid. His eyes shot to Sam, returned to their petrified state from before. He knew it, he wasn’t safe. He never would be ever again. And now she was involved.

“I hope you're having a pleasant day. It's come to my attention you boys have something that belongs to me, and I'd like it back.” Asmodeus continued, and Gabriel could feel the demon’s needle piercing his neck, over and over and over.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam responded, voice hard.

“Oh, I believe you do. And I'm-a give you one chance to return him to me. No harm, no foul.”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Do not hang up on me. Gabriel is of no use to you in his current condition. Should you choose to resist me, I will have no choice but to take him by force. I will reduce you and that sad little bunker of yours to ashes. You got 10 minutes to decide. Now you can hang up.”

The silence weighed down on everyone in the room. Gabriel’s breath came out in shaky, barely audible whimpers. He was going back. He was going back to hell.

Liv’s hands shook as she pulled three clean towels from the industrial shelf in the massive room. Multiple shower stalls lined the walls, washing in a whole new group of old memories. Gentle fingertips raking against her scalp, wandering hands exploring every inch of her, she could practically feel him behind her, his nose gently grazing against her neck as lips swept across her damp skin, his breath hitting her, soft and warm , as he whispered his devotion. Why didn’t she look for him all these years? He loved her. Why did she leave him to-

Quickly, she snapped herself from her dreamland to find her hand gripped tightly around the metal of the towel rack, knuckles white and jagged, bitten fingernails digging into the palm of her hand. ‘Fuck’ she cursed in her head, all bets were off. Nine years of repression were finally surging forward, quickly churning to guilt in her gut, forcing her to keel over the sink and heave the bile from her empty stomach into the white basin.

She had to fix this. She had to make it right.

“Liv, we have a problem.” Sam’s voice was firm and afraid as he stopped in the doorway, eyes wide with fear as she looked at his reflection in the mirror.

She whipped around quickly, “What?”

“Asmodeus is coming.”

When Sam said those words she felt no fear. She knew she should have, but it almost felt like relief. Murderous thoughts flashed behind her eyes. She knew what she wanted to do, what she had to do.

“I need that knife,” she seethed, glaring through her brows. Sam nodded as she went to meet him, ready for a fight.

Gabriel sat on the bed, knees clutched tightly to his body, rocking back and forth. Everything hurt. His feet were freezing, cold was not something he’d ever had to experience. The empty room was too reminiscent of where he knew he’d soon be returning to. This was by far the cruelest trick that Asmodeus had played on him. Twenty four hours of freedom, letting any form of hope return to him, seeing her, the real her. He wanted to break down and sob, he wanted to run, he wanted to kiss her one last time, but above all, he wanted to die. There was no way he could survive any more of this, but he had no choice. Only one thing could kill him, and there was no one left capable of ending his existence. He was forever destined to live in this nightmare. He supposed he deserved it. Abandoning heaven, his brothers, killing all those people through the years. Then there was the sex, and the drugs, alcohol and gambling, he’d lived a life of debauchery and it was finally catching up to him. He’d lived his life for pleasure and he’d now patiently beg for death for the rest of his days.

When Liv ran into the room, she noticed his return to his catatonic state as Castiel stood helplessly beside him. Fury was running through her veins as she patiently waited on the Prince of Hell who was slated to arrive at any second. He wasn’t taking him. Not without killing her first.

“Hey,” she cooed, softening herself as she kneeled in front of the bed and placed a hand on his. “You aren’t going anywhere, understand? You aren’t going back there.”

Were her promises empty? Probably, she thought. Was she walking into her own death? Maybe, but if she died for him, well that was the only way she wanted to go out anyway, the only way that seemed worth a damn.

His hands shot to his head, he couldn’t listen to this, this wasn’t happening. She was going to die. Not only was he going back to hell, but he was going to have to watch Asmodeus kill her over and over again…

“All right, we did what we could to help the bunker’s warding, but who knows if it’s enough. How’s he?” Sam asked, running back into the room.

“I don’t know.” Castiel responded, watching the pair with a soft expression.

“He can’t go back, Sam,” Liv muttered, releasing Gabriel’s hand and standing tall next to the hunter.

Suddenly, the room went dark. The red emergency lights were the only thing left illuminating the building, casting an eerie and violent glow.

“He’s not going back,” Sam assured firmly, handing over Ruby’s knife to her and holding his angel blade in his other hand.

The trio ran out into the hall, Liv passing Gabriel a sad glance as she paused in the doorway. This was it,this was the turning point. They would either win, or lose everything. Liv led the way, keeping her boots silent on the floors of the bunker, knife held ready in front of her. Everything was silent, too silent.

When they reached the map room, their attention was grabbed by the warding sigils illuminated on the walls.

“They’re here,” Liv whispered, all of her muscles tensing into position, ready to attack.

Right on cue, four demons attacked. Two went to Sam, one to Castiel, and the last to Liv.

“Oh, the boss is gonna be real happy see you,” the demon sneered, as he stopped in front of her with a sinister smiling baring his teeth.

“I get that a lot,” She replied smugly. “Not too happy when I leave though I’ve found, think it’s because of my sour disposition? Or is it more, because I just leave them dead?”

She shrugged sarcastically, pouting her lips. The demon snarled and lunged, quickly greeted by a knee in the stomach.

“You know, people underestimate me,” she continued as the toe of her boot collided with his jaw, “they don’t realize that the will to live goes hand in hand with a healthy fear of death, both of which I lack. It’s really freeing, you know?”

Blood sprayed from the demons mouth as he spit a tooth out, Liv looking on with a satisfied grin. “Angel whore,” he growled angrily.

“Name calling? Really? I mean, really? I just kicked your face in and you want to use words. Can you at least make this remotely entertaining?”

The demon lunged, wrapping an arm around her middle, tackling her to the floor, and pushing them back into the hallway. Her head bounced off the hard cement floor, stunning her momentarily. White dots flashed through her vision as the burning from the back of her head wrapped around the rest of her skull like a vice. This was more like it. She wrestled to regain control, twisting and writhing, sneaking her leg through the demon straddling her as she dodged his pummeling fists. Sometimes it paid to be small. Her leg finally slipped through and she quickly threw it up and around the demon’s neck, using the weight of her entire lower body to throw him onto the floor, plunging the knife into his chest as he landed.

“See, I told you,” she panted as his true face flashed behind his vessel’s, “I leave ‘em dead.”

Her eyes darted into the map room, searching for the two men that had gone in with her.he spotted them off to the side, both also victorious against their assailants and then suddenly thrown against the wall like rag dolls by an invisible force.

“You warding wasn’t designed for the likes of me, Samuel. I’ve come to claim what’s mine.” She heard a thick Southern accent taunt as she pushed herself against the wall, trying her hardest to camouflage herself.

A man came into view, dressed in an all-white suit. Asmodeus. Cautiously, her eyes shot to the small trembling figure being dragged into view by two towering men. Gabriel. His eyes were wide as they caught sight of his captor, his body trying to force itself back into a huddled ball against the arms pulling him along up the stairs. Her heart began to pound as her face grew hot. It took every ounce of self control to not run and attack, but she had one shot and it needed to be perfectly calculated.

“Oh I missed you boy, Im’a have to punish you rather severely I’m afraid. Although, I think this little field trip may have served as a better torment than even I coulda thought up.” Asmodeus heckled, smiling with one side of his bearded face, “I know she’s around here somewhere. And as for you two..”

With a wave of his hand Sam and Castiel immediately screamed, writhing in pain. It was now or never. Rage burned through her chest as she ran towards the distracted prince in the center of the room. It was too easy, the knife slid into his kidney, the red seeping through his white jacket as he keeled over with a scream.

“No!” Gabriel screamed, his body still paralyzed with fear, earning a smile from the rising monarch on the floor below.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Olivia. I know a lot about you my dear,” Asmodeus purred, turning to face her. “You should know better than thinkin’ that old rusted little dagger can kill the likes of me. I got too much of your angel runnin’ through me now.”

“Fuck you,” She spat, fear coursing through her as the realization of her failure dawned on her.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, where are your manners little girl? You’re talkin’ to a king you know!”

“I am going to rip you limb from limb and scatter you across the fucking universe.”

If she was going out, she was going out swinging. She couldn’t bear to look up at Gabriel, the fear and undoubted disappointment and guilt that would be etched into his already blood stricken face, no. If she was dying, she was remembering him from better times. She’d remember those golden eyes so alight with life they gave the stars a run for their money, his mischievous little chuckle and the way he’d always give her hand an extra squeeze before saying goodbye. He’d loved her, that was all she’d ever needed.

“Oh my oh my, you are just as feisty as he makes you out to be. I like that. I must say, I think some of the angel’s… fondness of you must be all wrapped up in his grace.” He began advancing towards her, slowly, menacingly, “I think I got a little of bit of it in me now too.”

She froze. Ice rain through her veins as the demons cold, hard eyes fell predatorily onto her, like he owned her. Her gaze was locked as he stalked towards her, head cocked to the side, smiling.

“What should we do with you?” He inquired, running his hands up and down her arms, “Maybe, I’ll keep you as my own little pet, make him watch as I take you as my own, hmm? While you beg and plead for the comfort of your precious little halo. Wouldn’t that be fun, boy? To look into these eyes you love so much as she prays for death!”

Asmodeus grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanking her to face the three men on the landing of the metal stairwell. Gabriel felt a surge of power wash through him as she finally turned her eyes up to look at him. She was petrified, she looked almost childlike. Tears were streaming down her face as the tendons in her neck strained against the tension from the hold on her head. This wouldn’t be his fate. It wouldn’t be her fate. He mustered every atom of grace he had, standing tall as his eyes glowed blue, tossing the two demons holding him down either with ease.

“Gabriel! What are you doin’ son? You know too well what I can do to you! What I can do to her! I broke you!” Asmodeus screamed, releasing Liv, ready to fight the rekindled archangel, “You’re too weak!”

With another push of all he had, Gabriel’s eyes turned to white, his grace washing through him, healing his wounds, clearing the evidence of his time in hell from his face, wings stretching free for the first time in a thousand years. His eyes quickly fell to Liv, who had crumpled onto the floor, silently instructing her to move, to run. She understood, scrambling to the wall between Sam and Cas, her eyes staying locked on Gabriel, his freshly revived appearance, and the silhouette of his wings spanning the entire wall.

“Not anymore. Oh, by the way, I always hated that dumbass suit,” Gabriel snapped, raising his hand in front of him.

He could feel his grace draining as pushed it through his fingertips, lighting fire to the leader of Hell. He grinned as the demon’s screams echoed against the walls, willing the same pain Asmodeus had brought on to him for a thousand years into the flames, hoping he felt every inch of his skin burning off his bones before he was granted the relief of death. As his face finally engulfed into the flames, Gabriel felt a wave of relief. It was over. At least this part. He’d worry about the rest later.

As the smoke cleared, the pained cries finally ceasing and the scent of sulfur lying thickly in the air, Liv slowly started to return to her senses. They’d won. Gabriel stood tall in front of the bunker’s entrance. The lights had powered back on and she could really see him now; all evidence of his time in hell was gone, minus his ratty clothing. Sam and Castiel were still on either side of her, their eyes also glued to the rejuvenated archangel. In that moment, she realized everything she’d come to know was going to change. The blinders were being removed; Gabriel was here. The question was, what would he want?

Sam was the first to speak, his voice high with shock and relief, “Gabriel?”

“Sam,” Gabriel greeted, strong and sure. “Castiel.”

When his eyes fell to her, the air left his lungs in an alleviated whoosh. From outward appearances, she looked fine, but his worry got the best of him, and he did one thing he always swore he wouldn’t. His track record hadn’t been so great in the kept promises department, so one more faux-pas certainly wasn’t going to worsen the circumstances. He dipped briefly into her mind, feeling her emotions, reading her thoughts. Doubt, fear, relief and love all mingled in a pool of uncertainty and sadness, the image of him bloody and beaten still seared into the front of her brain. Her heart was pounding in her chest, adrenaline still pumping through her veins, yet there was a gentleness to it all.

Swaying as she rose, she stood first as he started descending down the stairs. It was taking too long and going too fast at the same time. For the first time in ten years, the butterflies in her stomach woke as his bare foot landed on the floor. She felt her breath hitch in her throat as his eyes came into view. The perfect blend of gold and amber met her gaze. He was still just as beautiful as the last time she’d seen him, with his honey hair, sharp, angled nose and prominent upper lip, his jaw now covered by the lightest dusting of stubble. He’d always been perfect, but something about him now made her heart swell just a little bit more.

He stopped a few inches away from her, keeping a safe distance, and it killed him to do so. He wanted to gather her in his arms, feel her warmth and the security she had always given him. Asmodeus had taunted him with, and in, her form for so long, and to see her now, he remembered the one feature of hers that he never could replicate, although he’d tried. It broke whatever pieces of him were left. Her eyes, soft and reverent, looking at him like he was all she’d ever need, all she ever wanted, but there had always been a glint of fear dancing behind it all. A fear of what, he’d never quite been able to pinpoint until now, as that glint had morphed into a solar surge. He’d assumed it was because of his past, or what he was, or the things she’d seen him do, but now he realized it was a fear of losing him.

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered, bowing his head. “I’m sorry for everything.”

Her strength finally faltered and a choked sob broke free from her throat, startling the other two men in the room. They’d never seen anything but stoic from her. Even after his death all those years ago, she’d held herself together until she was out of sight, out of earshot. Now, there was no control. She reached forward, grabbing Gabriel’s forearms as her sorrow wretched through her entire body.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” Gabriel cooed, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around her neck.

“We’ll...give you two a minute,” Sam mumbled, grabbing Cas’ arm and pulling him toward the kitchen, his heart breaking for the pair.

Liv’s arms hung loosely by her sides, unable to reach up and wrap around the waist of the man holding her close. She was wailing, nine years of pent up emotion had finally spilled over and there was no stopping it now. Her face was buried in the soft skin of his neck and, despite how filthy his clothes were, it was still that same warm and arid smell she’d been haunted by clouding her senses. Gabriel stayed silent, letting her release whatever it was she needed to get out within the safety of his embrace. Her tears had soaked into his shirt, making the thin, gauzy fabric he was desperate to get off stick to his skin, but for the moment he didn’t care. Gently, he pressed his cheek to the top of her head, feeling the way her hair felt against his skin again and silently begging for more.

Finally, she calmed enough to become more aware of her surroundings. She reached her arms up and linked them under his, hands gripping his shoulders tightly, pulling her body impossibly closer to him. When her sobs turned to ragged gasps and whimpers, he pulled away just enough to look down into her red and swollen brown eyes.

“Better?” He asked softly with a lopsided smirk, using his thumb to wipe he residual wetness off her puffy cheeks.

“Not really,” She responded, leaning her head into his hand.

“Not yet.”

She took a deep, clarifying breath and pulled out of Gabriel’s arms. It was time to hit the reset button and get back to work. There was only so much time for petty emotions, and this had already gone on too long. It was time to assess the damages to him and work them out, to figure out where all of this was going to fall.

“Hey, uh, we need to talk Gabriel.” Sam entered, almost right on cue, Castiel on his heels.

Gabriel and Liv, unknowingly to them, moved like a unit. Gabriel sat on the slightly elevated decorative edge to the staircase, backed by the massive stone pillar beside the entrance to the library, where she had taken the stair right beside him, her shoulder gently leaning on his calf. It was almost gravitational, and it had taken them all of twenty minutes to get back here. For years, Dean had called foul on the whole arrangement, but seeing them now, Sam didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more real. Bronte had a point, whatever souls were made of, theirs were the same.

Sam started at the beginning, explaining to both of them the situation at hand with Jack, Michael, and the Apocalypse alternate world, watching their faces mirror the others expression without even looking at one another.

“Whoa, too much information. Okay, slow down, I’m not.. processing,” Gabriel stammered, his face contorting in confusion.

“This, this is too much. I hunt, monsters, I don’t meddle in time and alternate universes. What the hell have you been doing? Can you not set the world into a crash course for destruction every two years? Jesus,” Liv scoffed as Gabriel stood. She followed suit, subconsciously grabbing his hand to help pull herself up.

“Don’t bring him into this, still bitter about how all that went down. You know I’m the one that orchestrated that whole, resurrection. I thought it’d be funny-“

Liv held her hand out, stopping him, knowing the snowball effect that was about to occur.

“And there’s more, Michael wants to come to this Earth and destroy it, and we may need your help to fight him,” Castiel added, rolling his eyes at his brother’s favorite story.

“What?” Gabriel responded, all signs of joking dropped from his face.

“Yeah. Welcome to the team,” Sam quipped with a haphazard smile, trying to make light of the situation.

“Uh, yeah, not so much. I mean, thank you for the rescue and for the redemption arc. But uh, I’m not really a team guy so, I’m gonna bounce, okay?”

As Sam and Castiel’s faces fell in shock and horror, Liv’s twisted into regret. They should have known better.

“Um, but you know, it’s been um, what’s the opposite of fun? That,” Gabriel finished as he brushed past Sam towards the door.

“No, Gabriel, don’t, you- you can’t just walk away. If Michael comes here he will end this world!” Sam tacked on, desperation heavy in his tone.

Gabriel’s eyes shot to Liv, who had remained standing on the stairs to the library, “And the last time the world was ending, I put my money on you. I think you can pull it off again.”

Gabriel searched Liv’s face for any hint of what she was feeling, but her expression stayed neutral. She was in no place to force him to do anything, she knew that, and she didn’t want to. She was peeved that Sam had thought this a good time to bring this up, to recruit him onto another life threatening mission, but at the same time she sympathized with him. His entire family was off in some alternate dimension, and all he wanted was their safety. No doubt she knew she would have done the same for the angel now staring at her, waiting for her to make a play.

“I’m not, I’m not picking sides,” She forfeited, drawing burning looks from all three men in the room.

“Of course you are. You’re picking his,” Sam accused, taking a step towards her, his figure towering, face hard.

“Watch it, Sasquatch,” Gabriel warned, his nostrils flaring.

“No. You cannot turn your back on your father’s creation,” Castiel implored, turning the attention back to the issue.

“Castiel, my father turned his back on his creation. Guess it just runs in the family,” Gabriel replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“No. Gabriel. Please,” Sam pleaded, one last time.

But before anyone could respond, he was gone. Liv sighed and rolled her eyes. Of course. Sam and Castiel’s attention turned directly to her, eyes accusing and disappointed. This was going to make for an extremely pleasant exit.

“Don’t look at me like that,” She snapped. “I can’t control him.”

“No. But if anyone can sway him, it’s you. And you just STOOD THERE!” Sam shouted, raising his hands in defeat.

“He needs a MINUTE. He got out of hell yesterday.”

“Stop defending him. I don’t want to hear it. He was our only shot.”

Anger bubbled in her chest; the Winchester way, everyone was a tool or a weapon. It was time to take her leave. Whatever small piece of her that had considered sticking around to help them was shrinking back into the recesses of her conscience, realizing that maybe they deserved what they got. They’d earned their disaster. She had bigger fish to fry and an archangel’s ass to kick for leaving her to clean up his mess.

#gabriel fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #gabriel #gabriel spn #supernatural fic #gabriel x oc

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 6 years

Text

DOTW 17? Start. I'm pretty braindead

Coughing as the breathing tube was removed, Eren felt like absolute shit. He vaguely gathered that he was in hospital, mainly due to the horrible tube shoved down his throat... and the fact every time he opened his eyes, Levi was right by his side. He'd never thought he'd see the alpha again, and didn't understand why Levi looked so sad. He hated it. He hated the man's grey eyes filled with tears and a thin smile that felt way too close to pity, than concern. His leaden body throbbed as if he'd come down with a fever. His stomach rolling and gurgling, like it was trying to eat its self, yet the mere thought of food made him nauseous as fuck. Part of him wondered if this was what dying felt like... if it was, it sucked "Eren, it's ok if you need to sleep" That wasn't ok. He'd only barely woken up before the tube was being removed. Something as simple as a cough shouldn't have him so exhausted. Shit. The doctor was taking to him again. He knew he should listen, but when the man grew closer, he just felt so fucking scared. He didn't want to be hurt again. He didn't want to be touched or looked after. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry until whatever was wrong with him finished him off. If he could have ignored Levi, he would have. Yet the alpha's voice and scent were the only things he could focus on "Eren, it's ok. He just needs to examine you" Opening his mouth, it felt like a whole forest of something disgusting had set up residence across his teeth. He wanted to say no. He wanted to scream no... but all that came out was a nearly non-existent whimper. He didn't know this man. He didn't like this man. He didn't want this man anywhere near him. Placing his hand on Eren's left cheek, Eren tried to push himself as far away from the alpha as he could. He didn't want this... "Hey, hey it's ok. Hanji, why don't you go talk with his doctor outside. He's starting to panic" He didn't need a running commentary of his panic. He was very much aware of how stupid he must look. The man said something, his hand still against Eren's cheek. He wanted to vomit, his body trying to make the action, his stomach muscles clenching as nothing came out "Both of you. Out. Now" Levi lifted the man's hand from his face, the alpha replacing it with his own "You're ok. It's ok. Here, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me? A deep breath in?" He wasn't even sure he'd taken a breath until Levi nodded "Good. You're doing good. It's just us now, ok. Shit brat. I've fucking missed you" Why would Levi miss him? Wasn't he mad at him? He didn't understand anything and couldn't even tell the alpha that "Good. You're doing so good" Levi was nice to him... but this was on a whole other level. This was the kind of nice he'd get after a stupid panic attack, when the man seemed scared that anything minor would set him off. He liked Levi better when the alpha was pissy and just saying what was on his mind. At least he understood him then "Your blood pressure's come back down. The tightening in your chest should be easing" He'd never thought to ask Levi he knew what a panic attack felt like. He supposed the man had dealt with more than one in his span as a paramedic. He just always seemed to know what to say "You gave us all a scare. You showed signs of waking last week, but then decided to pull a sleeping beauty. Even with all that sleep, you still look pretty crap" That was the Levi he liked. He hoped the alpha could tell he trying to give him the smallest of smiles "If I didn't know better, I'd say you like me watching you in bed" Oh god. He wanted to laugh, but all he could do was cough again "Sorry. I'll try and hold back on the lame lines for now. You should get some more sleep. I promise I'm not going anywhere, ok?" Why was it so easy for Levi to get through to him? His mind could barely remember anything. It was like his head was filled with nothingness. He couldn't even remember his thoughts as they passed... but somehow Levi made that ok? He really, probably, definitely should be worried about that. Leaning down, Levi kissed his forehead "Sleep tight, brat" * Waking himself screaming, Eren couldn't remember where he was or how he'd got there. Every molecule of him wanted to run, and he gave it his best shot. Ripping himself free from his IV line and catheter, he was on the ground before he had any idea what had happened. Hands burying themselves in his hair, tearing at the thick strands as he tried to remember. Why couldn't he remember? Where was Zeke? Why wasn't Zeke here? Shuffling backwards, he screamed louder as his back hit the walls. The beeping of the hospital machines hurting his ears as much as his own screams, pained to the point he was oblivious to the warm puddle began to form under him. He couldn't stop screaming. Zeke was... Zeke was hurt. Zeke needed help. Zeke... there was so much blood... so much blood and Zeke wasn't waking up. As strong hands grabbed his arms, he fought harder. His hands covered with loose strands of hair as he tried to shove his attackers away. He couldn't let them get him. He couldn't let them take him away from his brother. Zeke needed help. He needed him. He was taking him away. He... why couldn't he remember? What... why... why couldn't he breathe? Kicking, and snarling with his teeth bared, he fought harder. His body betraying him his a his energy failed to translate into fury, his blows barely taps. Lifted from the floor, it felt like was slammed down on a concrete slab as his eyes were cruelly forced open. The brightness burning through into his brain, as is someone was holding a lighter to his iris. It was all too much. * Having been with Eren almost nonstop since, Levi found it hard to be back at his apartment. Titan wasn't talking to him, no doubt because he hadn't been home and had left him to the mercy of Erwin swinging by to make sure the fat cat had food, water and a clean litter tray. He'd showered and shaved, before collapsing into his own bed. The hospital chairs weren't exactly comfortable when it came to prolonged sleep overs, and despite his thoughts being filled with Eren, he'd passed out and slept a solid 8 hours. Moblit was spending the day with Eren. Given how scared Eren seemed to be each time he woke, he didn't know if it was a good idea or not. Still, he'd left the omega. When Eren was discharged, he'd be going back to Hanji and Moblit's house, meaning even if Eren was scared, he wouldn't exactly be able to escape from the man. Refreshed from his near dead sleep, Levi had showered again, before cleaning through his apartment. His plan was to stop by and pick Eren up some real food, as well as bringing the omega the photos he still had in his possession, and a book to keep himself occupied with. Even if Eren couldn't eat solids, cafe soup was better than hospital soup. His alpha secretly thrilled to be doing something nice for their ome-friend. Eren wasn't his omega. The closeness they'd formed would have to be rebuilt, even if Eren really only ever seemed comfortable when he was around. He made it as far as the hospital carpark before his phone started ringing. Answering the call, he heard Moblit sigh heavily "What's wrong?" "When are you coming back?" Ok. Well this wasn't how things normally went, or at least not lately "I'm in the carpark" "I'll come find you" Moblit ended the call. Levi's stomach twisting into knots. He wanted to rush from his car to Eren's room, but with Moblit coming to him... it couldn't be good news. When Moblit finally joined him, the man looked exhausted... and was sporting a black eye for some reason "What happened to you?" With a dry laugh, the man shook his head "Eren. He woke up screaming" "Screaming?" Eren was struggling to stay awake, and he'd seen a few blips in his heartbeat from nightmares, but as far as he knew, this was the first time he'd woken up screaming "He didn't know where he was. Hanji called me, so I stepped out into the hall. It was only seconds Levi. By the time I got back into his room, he was on the floor screaming" Fuck... "They've sedated him. He made a mess of himself and his bed. They wanted to restrain him, but with his scars, that would have only made it worse" "Did he say anything? I mean, other than screaming?" "When we went to lift him off the floor, he started snarling like an alpha. We got him up and onto the bed. He was completely delirious. He started asking and begging for Zeke" Fuck. With Eren being so out of it, he hadn't been able to talk to the police. Zeke's body was still being held by state morgue "They wanted to place him in a 72 hour hold" "Are you fucking serious?" In a 72 hour hold, Eren wouldn't be allowed visitors. It was probably the worst possible thing they could do for him "Hanji's doing everything she can to prevent it, or even to postpone it" That was something, he supposed "How are you?" "Honestly. I don't know what to do. Eren and I talked about his issue with male alphas, and not to take it personally" "But it still hurts like a bitch when he looks to you in fear?" "Yeah. He didn't even seem to realise who I was" "Is he allowed visitors?" "Not right now. He had an accident, so the nursing staff was taking care of cleaning him up. Even once he is, they'll more then likely keep him under some form of sedation" If they were going to keep him drugged to the gills, they may as well stick him the psych ward for the 72 hours. There'd been far too many drugs in Eren's system, and while he'd seen the pain withdrawal caused, it had to be kinder than keeping him in a haze "Do you need a ride home?" Moblit blinked, before nodding wearily "Yeah. That would be great. I came in with Hanji, but you know what she's like" "Yeah. I know it's fucking shitty, but if Eren was in his right mind, I know he'd appreciate the fact you were there for him. He really does think highly of you" "He said that?" "He did. He told me more than once how grateful he was that it was you and Hanji, and that he hated not being able to control his anxieties" "You two really did get close?" "Close enough that we had just decided to date, without the label though" "Sorry. I forgot" "It's ok. I'm well aware of my reputation as an Ice Queen. Eren however didn't get the message. He'd come in and flipped everything upside down before I had a chance to realise what was happening" "I know Hanji was teasing you both over getting together, but I guess I never saw it happening" "I didn't either. I mean, he's an amazing omega, but he's also an abuse victim. He can't control his anxieties and spent years being trained on top by Zeke, on top of whatever gave him those scars, and whatever it was that Zeke saved him from. I wanted to let him heal and experience the world. Maybe if I'd been more forceful, none of this would have happened" "Now you're sounding like Hanji" "In that case, we should get you home" Levi got the feeling that Hanji and Moblit's marriage was on the rocks. Moblit knew Eren needed help and trusted the hospital to act in Eren's best interests. Hanji did not. She insisted on triple checking everything, as if micromanaging the situation would solve the situation. Though if he was in her position, he'd probably do doing the same. Wisely keeping those deductions to himself, Levi drove Moblit home. With Moblit dropped off, Levi returned to the hospital. Eren was still in his room, which was a small relief. Dragging the visitors chair back over to the side of the bed, he settled the soup cup down on the bedside table as he sat. Eren's room still smelt of fear and pain, but the omega's face was relaxed. He didn't know how he was supposed to explain to Eren that Zeke was dead, but he wanted to be the one to do it. Hanji was way too optimistic about Eren's mental condition, she'd try to hush him instead of letting him feel the pain... where as Levi expected the tears and screaming. He couldn't even give him a proper answer as to why Zeke was dead. * Blinking tiredly, Eren yawned softly. His body felt warm and heavy, while a comforting scent was soothing his anxious omega. Looking down, his heart jumped at the sight of Levi. The alpha was half-sitting/half laying, his head on Eren's right hand where his soft warm breath tickled along Eren's wrist. Gathering up the saliva in his mouth, he coughed slightly, waking Levi who must have been only dozing. Giving him a sheepish look, Levi scratched the back of his head "Hey, nice to see you awake" "L-Levi" Levi's eyes widened slightly, the tips of his lips turning up "Yeah. That's what they call me" "I..." He what? He didn't know what to say "It's ok if you don't want to talk. They'd got you sedated at the moment, because you had a pretty bad panic attack" "D-don't... remember" "It's fine" Now what was he supposed to say? He wanted to say something... "Are you hungry? I know you're on soups and fluids, but I got you the good stuff. Soup from a cafe. Not the hospital stuff" "N-not hungry" "Ok. It's here if you do get hungry" Licking his cracked lips, Eren sighed softly "I guess you're wondering what's been happening?" "Kind of..." "You've been here for the last two and a half weeks" Two and half weeks? If he'd been in bed for that long, why was he so tired? "You had a touch of pneumonia. Your left wrist and hand were broken, and your right ankle dislocated" "I... don't remember" "It's ok. I just wanted to warn you that that cast you love so much is now a splint" "Ugh... no" "I thought you'd feel like that. Moblit and Hanji have been by almost daily, except for when they had work. Not that that's stopped Hanji" "W-why?" "Because we all missed you. We went looking for you, even went to the police. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with all of us" "But..." "But nothing. We all fucked up and let you down. I'm not asking for you to trust me, or for a second chance. I just want to be here for you" Levi wanted to be there for him? What could the man possibly get from being near him? And... "Where's Zeke?" Levi's brow furrowed, a long moment passing between them "L-Levi. Where's Zeke?" It was slowly coming back to him... Zeke... there was so much blood. Oh god... it... it was pouring over his hands and wouldn't stopped... "Eren, I'm sorry" "No" "He'd passed by the time the paramedics arrived" "No" "Eren" "No. No... No!" The machine to his right beeped loudly "Eren, I'm so sorry" "No! You're lying!" "I wish I was" "No. No... no... not Zeke..." "Don't force yourself to remember. There was nothing anyone could have done" "You're lying... please tell me you're lying... please..." Reaching out to cup his face, Eren flinched away. He didn't want to be touched "I'm sorry" "He... no. I need him. I need him!" Memories rushed up. He wanted to scream, but nothing came out. God... there'd been so much blood. It wouldn't stop. And Zeke. Zeke wasn't moving "Eren, I know it's hard. I know you're scared. But there was nothing you could have done" Why was he remembering? Why couldn't he forget?! It was like a horror movie. He'd been the dumb useless character... while Zeke... he'd told him to run. He'd seen it again! He'd had watch it all over again... why wasn't it him? Why Zeke? He'd left him. Again he was left behind. He was alone "I want to be alone" "I don't think that's a good idea" "I want to be alone!" "Eren, I know this is a lot. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to talk to me. But I am not leaving you alone. You are not alone" "Fuck you. You left me. Everyone fucking leaves. So go! Get out!" "I am not leaving" "Get out!" "Eren, I'm not leaving you" "Why?! We're nothing to each other!" "We're friends" "What? Since when?" "Eren" "You don't know about me. You know nothing about me! You don't know anything about my fucking life! You have no idea the things I've done! We are not friends" "I know you're shy and awkward, until you get on stage. I know you wanted to die. I know you get anxious. I know you're not ready to talk about your past. But... weren't we working towards that?" "My past is none of your business. Working towards it? Why the fuck would I tell you any of it? Just because I let you between my legs, doesn't mean I love you, or even like you. You need to go" He didn't want to be saying any of this to Levi. He didn't want to be kicking him out. He mentally couldn't handle having the alpha here. He was a mess, and Levi, Levi was always so fucking good to him. He didn't want him to be kind. He didn't want him to be understanding. He wanted to be alone. Levi would leave when he heard what happened, so he'd rather drive the alpha way first. He'd rather set Levi free, than shackle him "Well, Hanji won't be in for another 4 hours. And I'm not leaving you to suffer through his alone. I guess that means you can either stop sprouting bullshit, nap or sit in an awkward silence" That wasn't about how it was supposed to go. Levi was supposed to get angry! Instead the man just causally continued like he hadn't insulted him, even counting out his three options with his fingers "Stop looking at me like that brat. I know exactly what you're doing, because I do the same thing. Fortunately for both of us, Erwin has an almost ungodly amount of patience, or you'd be having the conversation with someone who isn't me. I know you're sorry, so you don't have to say it" "I don't want to sleep and I don't want to talk" "Awkward silence it is then" The silence lasted until Levi pulled out a book from somewhere. Settling back in his chair, Levi didn't even seem to notice he was watching his every move "W-what are you reading?" "I thought we weren't talking" "I don't want to be in my head" "It's called "To Kill a Mockingbird"" "What's it about?" "Preformed prejudices" He didn't know what exactly "prejudices" were... "People judging someone based on appearances without knowing the full story, or bothering to even try to get to know them. It's the book I was going to lend you" "Oh..." "Pretty much. I think you'll like it" "Do you?" "I've read it more than once" * Watching Eren, the omega was still crying. He was trying. The kid was really trying. Zeke's death had hit him hard, but some part of Eren was still in denial. He could see it all over his face... that and Eren had told him he was lying. Soon the second wave of shock was yet to set in. Placing his book down in his lap, he sighed softly "I could read to you. It might help take your mind off things" "Like Zeke?" "Maybe. Probably not, but hey. You could get so bored you fall asleep" "I don't want to sleep" "You don't want to do much of anything, do you?" Eren's lip quivered, his voice dropping as he whispered guiltily "No... I... I don't even want to be..." "Then what? What do you want to do?" "I don't know" "Ok. We still have another three and a half hours before Hanji comes. How far do think we can get?" "I... I don't know. I don't know the words" "It's no harder than Narnia" * Eren really wasn't sure about this. His brain felt like it was having a meltdown, yet his actions seemed to be completely contradictory to that. He was sure the word was contradictory, Levi had taught it to him. If he closed his eyes, even for a second, all he'd see was Zeke. But whatever his brain was doing, it wouldn't let him grieve. He felt disconnected, and it was scary as fuck. His brother was gone. Yet there he was. Having an almost calm conversation with Levi "I... will you wake me if I fall asleep" "Do you want me to?" "I don't want to see Zeke" He didn't want the last memory of Zeke to be him being murdered. Not when it was the same for his mother. The two people who'd looked after him, both killed in front of his eyes while he'd been useless. He didn't want to see it again. He couldn't see it again "Ok" Ok? He got the feeling Levi wouldn't wake him. His chest already tightened with that knowledge. Picking up the book in his lap, Levi opened it to the beginning. The alpha starting to read as if he hadn't acted like a bad omega. Living with Zeke, his brother had told him all the ways he'd misbehaved. He'd shown him how to be a good omega again... he'd shown that bad side to Levi, so the fact he hadn't left confused him. As he'd guessed, he must have dozed off. Levi's smooth voice didn't falter once as he read. It'd almost been like a lullaby, lulling him into a false sense of security. His dream was full of Zeke. Zeke screaming at him to run, while Eren fought the hand around his ankle. He woke to find himself purring in an attempt to calm himself down, flinching as burnt when he realised Hanji hand her hand on his. He couldn't stomach her touch. He'd thought it just mental, until his stomach rebelled and he threw up weakly down his front. Immediately trying to clean it up, he didn't mean to fight. She was only doing what she always did, trying to help. But each time she hushed him, or brushed against his skin, he'd vomit again. Zeke had been late home. He hadn't been able to stop them... "Hanji, let me do it" "I've got this, Levi" "It's nothing personal, but touching him isn't ok" How did he know that? He couldn't remember telling Levi that... "He knows I'm not going to hurt him" "When did mental illness ever have the decency to make sense? I can smell his fear. We already had to change his doctor over to a female because he couldn't handle males in the room" They did? He couldn't remember this. Placing her hand on his forehead, Eren whimpered as his stomach clenched. Hanji wasn't like those men... she wouldn't do anything like that... he didn't want to fear her "Sweetheart. It's ok. I just wanted to check your temperature. You feel a little warm" Didn't they have those ear thermometer things for that? Removing her hand, she started gathering his soiled blankets up "Levi, there should be fresh blankets in the wardrobe beside you. These need to be washed" "S-sorry" He didn't know what else to say "It's ok, honey. We need to have a little talk, but I won't touch you, if you don't want to be touched" Eren shook his head slowly "You don't want to be touched?" "N-no" "Ok, honey. I understand" What did she understand? And why didn't he understand it too? Shivering as the blanket was pulled off, he looked to Levi "It's ok. She doesn't bite" "You're not funny" "I think I am" "Well you're wrong. Hand me those fresh blankets, then drop these ones down in the wash trolley. I need to talk to Eren in private" What? No. He had no idea why, and despite everything that had happened, his omega had decided Levi was the only one he could be near. It wasn't even something he could control.

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