#//what a cutie Keith

[childoftheriver]

The boys on tv?

[nifreti-ii]

It’s best if you love him too…

What happens when you're going through some brain stuff and need to vent? You draw an already mentally fucked character and make him WORSE. God I love some unhinged cuties… but seriously If this happened to me I would be in complete damage-control mode. Im gonna be freaking the hell out internally and nervously try to talk him down. “Y-yeah hun. Of course, I love you! Now… let’s uh get ya cleaned up and read a nice book…” I would say while shaking and panic crying. ( to think, I was initially gonna draw pixie keith...)

Oh I just love Keith and Tenebris so much T-T. they’re so precious and I just want to hold them. I will cuddle the FUCK out of them and drown them in affection I swear. My dumbass would be crocheting so many things to gift them, little origami in random places throughout their apartment, and me just loving pinching their faces. I also think November ultra - come into my arms is such a lovely and sad song to sing to Keith :,<

Check out my Masterlist for my art and (limited) writing! :,)

[hchano]

my second contribution to the binary stars zine.

sadly the fic, WHICH IS RLY GOOD, never got posted [long story, not mine to tell ;u;] but this was a telepath!keith/blind!shiro AU. basically keith is a captured BoM, and is sent to the arena in chains to be executed by a beast, but then a blind galra is thrown in to the arena was well, with a weapon. keith is able to convince him they can work together and using his telepathic link, shiro is able to defeat the beast.

afterward, they are thrown together more often in the arena and over time keith learns shiro is actually a human who has been experimented on and altered heavily. he also ends up teaching him about galra culture and how to navigate some of the wierd shit galra go thru [since shiro is experiencing a lot of galra instincts lol].

meanwhile the BoM are working on freeing keith, but keith will not leave without shiro :')

so in this scene, we have keith tracing coordinates on shiro's back, in hopes that he will be able to use them to escape. i do hope viper posts this fic one day but if not, just know it was rly good and liek the perfect slowburn.

extras under the cut!

so as i keep saying this was a rly good fic. i had like 5 diff scenes i rly wanted to draw but i realized i was NOT going to be able to fit any of them into only 3 pages lol… that didn't stop me from TRYING more than once tho…

attempt #1, 3 pics:

this scene is them bathing [PLATONICALLY] after a round in the arena. keith is lamenting about shiro geting hurt due to keith's reckless fighitng style leaking into shiro thru the mind meld, and thinks about how shiro still moves like he has his human body too, which shiro picks up on thanks to the mind link [which is something of a habit at this point lol]. shiro is angsting about the fact he actually dosen't know the extent of what has been done to him thanks to the injury that blinded him, and after asking to see how he looked as a human, keith ends up reassuring him that he's still a cutie lol.

the page with the dialogue only is when i realized there was no way i was fitting that scene into 3 pages lol.

attempt #2:

this scene is basically near the start to the fic. keith is brought in to the arena and chained to a pylon. he hears a bunch of rly loud monster noises and pounding at the door across the arena and is like, wow i am actually fucked 8D then shiro is brought in and thrown to the ground, along with a weapon. keith watches him try to feel around for the weapon and realizes he's blind, then calls out to him. shiro immediately goes into attack mode but keith is able to convince him that they can be allies, and briefly explains he's a telepath before melding their minds so that shiro can see through his eyes, and after a bit of clumsiness they are able to beat the beast this way :D

my designs for the boys. i have unclothed versions too that show off all their markings and scars but i feel like that would get the post flagged so these will have to do lol. i did post them on twitter tho, if you wanna bother looking there. also yes, this design is rly similar to the other contribution i did for this zine, which is because i rly like the idea of keith having these specific markings LOL. this is p much my official go to glara!keith design.

just two lil chibi guys

i actually finished this with shading, but for the life of me cannot find it, so old phone pic it is. this is post-fic, after shiro joins the bom. [so uh not so shocking spoiler, they both survive and escape lol]

[justanothervoreblog]

Restrained

Keith always figured that because of his size and his muscles that he could handle just about anything. All his life his friends had called him a physical specimen. Someone who could never be toppled or dominated. Unfortunately that was no longer the case.

The last thing that Keith remembered was this cutie asking him to dance. After a while he remembers getting tired and then passing out. When he woke up he was restrained and had some sort of Speedo on.

No one would answer any of his questions. They would just say that he had been selected for something. After that he felt a bunch of different hands begin to feel up his muscles. They all called him good meat and how he would be perfect. Whatever that meant.

Soon after he was being oiled up with olive oil. His muscles began to glisten and shine as he was prepared. When they began to take the restraints off him, he thought this was his big escape. However all he was able to do was push a couple people down. Soon he was restrained in a much different way. He had an apple stuffed in his mouth and his entire body had been wrapped up in vegetable twine. Then he's blindfolded as someone then yells that table 43's meal was done.

Keith could only judge but it seemed he was on some giant serving platter. He could hear the wheels bring him to another room. There was soft music playing like at one of those fancy restaurants. The cart he is on stops and places him onto a table. He had no idea what was going to happen. Why on Earth was he being trussed up like food? This was utterly ridiculous and he was going to sue everyone in this place when it's over.

Whoever had ordered him muttered something about him being delicious. The Apple is gently plucked from his mouth. Before he can yell out any obscenities it feels like his head is being pushed into a moist cave. Then the sensation of his face being licked overwhelms his senses. It doesn't dawn on him that he was slowly being eaten alive.

His neck and shoulders are pushed deeper into the throat of his predator. Those rounded muscles meaning nothing to the hungry individual. Keith tries to struggle, but his muscles are still restrained by the vegetable twine. With another gulp his chest and abdomen come in next. It was about this time where he realized that he was going. He was being eaten! Devoured by some perv! How the hell was any of this even possible?

Not that it mattered, the hungry patron gets to that flaccid cock and ass. He begins to swipe those muscular globes like a credit card. It was utterly delectable to him, much to the dismay of keith. He was being humiliated and devoured. More than likely in a public setting to boot! Worst part is is that he was pretty sure that no one was going to be able to help him.

His muscular thighs and powerful calves are slowly swallowed up like noodles. The entire trip down the esophagus was wet, hot, and loud. It got even louder when he passed by the heartbeat. Before long his large and flat feet are scooped up by the tongue. They drop inside and join Keith rounding out this man's belly.

This was it. A lifetime of working out, dieting, and proper sleep schedule just to end up as someone's dinner. He was curled up into the fetal position, still bound by the vegetable twine even now. His entire body bulging out on somebody's abdomen. All the while his devourer rubbed over the hefty meal. Keith couldn't hear anything through the gurgling and churning of his own body. Keith shut his eyes and realized that this was his fate...

Devin walked out of his favorite establishment with a heavy gut on him. One might describe him as a twunk. Not so lean and not so built either, a perfect in between. However the man he ate certainly put a number on his physique. With a satisfied smile, he cradles his belly with his hands. This beefcake was all his to digest for the next couple of days. As if to pay compliments to the chef, he lets out a ferocious burp before heading into the night. With his enormous belly in tow.

[samiwife]

Lipstick Stains ੈ✩‧₊˚ (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

A/N: Hey! Hope everyone is doing okay! This is a fluff oneshot of Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe! He's such a cutie. Hope you guys enjoy it! <3

𓆩♡𓆪= Smut

ੈ✩‧₊˚= Fluff

⋆ ★= Angst

You have always worn makeup. You felt more confident with it. You would always go to the makeup store with Nikki. Nikki would try his best not to complain. You loved it when Nikki was slightly embarrassed when he went into overly girly stores with you. He would blush uncontrollably and try to look away at things like lingerie and lipsticks. One day, one of your favorite makeup lines released a new lipstick color and you wanted to get it. But, you didn't want to go alone. So you asked your boyfriend Nikki. You walked into the office where he was working on his bass guitar. He was sitting on his sofa. You walked in and sat in his lap.

"Nikki, can you do me a favor?" You sweetly asked so he could say yes. Nikki is always a sucker for you being all flirty and cute. It was his weakness. "What is it, babe?" Nikki asked back while kissing your neck. You smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "There's a new release for my favorite lipstick brand, I was wondering if you want to come with me to pick it up." You asked with your arms wrapped around his neck. Nikki rolled his eyes jokingly and sighed. "Baby, you know I get all embarrassed when you drag me along to every girly store you go to," Nikki said with a pout. You frowned and looked down. Nikki sighed. "Okay fine, I'll go with you but we have to get food at the mall because I'm hungry," Nikki said while standing up wrapping his arms around your waist, and hugging you. You cheer in happiness because you loved it when you took Nikki out anywhere. You two got ready and drove to the mall. While in the car, you two listened to Keith Richards and Black Sabbath.

"So what color are you going to get anyway?" Nikki asked you while still keeping his eyes on the road. "I was thinking of just looking like I always do. Maybe I'll test some colors too," you answered. Nikki rolled his eyes jokingly because he knew you would spend hours in makeup stores trying to find the right color that you might buy. "C'mon don't be like that, I'll pay for lunch," you said to Nikki. He smiled. "You better," Nikki said while parking while parking the car. You laughed and the two of you walked into the mall.

After a few minutes of walking, You finally found the makeup store you were looking for. You walked in with Nikki. The greeter stared at the both of you. Nikki looked a little intimidating. He had black messy hair and wore lots of leather. So people often stare at the two of you. You quickly walked to the lipstick section where the different colors were displayed, You tried on the first color you saw which was a pinkish purple color. Nikki was just standing there minding his own business in his own thoughts. "Hey Nikki, how does this look?" you asked while turning to him. He looks over.

"Baby, you look good in any color," Nikki said while smiling. You frowned at his answer, you wanted a realistic answer. Then an idea popped into your head. You leaned over to Nikki's face and kissed his cheek. You pulled away and saw a big pinkish-purple kiss stain. You laughed at the color and the fact it's going to stain. Nikki looked at it in the mirror. He blushed and smiled. "I love this color, it looks great on me!" Nikki said. You used one of the makeup wipes on the counter and moved on to the next color. This time the color was a reddish pink. It was a completely different color from the previous color you tried on. You tried it on and kissed Nikki on his other cheek.

Again, it left a stain. You saw Nikki was enjoying this. He was being kissed by his girlfriend and getting lunch afterward. It was his lucky day. This would happen a few more times. It was just you wiping off the color of the previous lipstick, trying on a new one, and then kissing Nikki's face to test it out a different. You did it multiple times and now Nikki's face was covered in kiss marks from you. You laughed at the end product. Nikki never took any makeup wipes to clean it. In fact, he liked the fact that he had a bunch of kisses on his face. "Do you want a makeup wipe to clean it?" you asked while handing him a makeup wipe. Nikki laughed and shook his head. "No, I love this new look. Makes people know I'm yours." Nikki said while smiling and holding your hand. You blushed and wiped the remaining lipstick off your lips.

"Okay, I finally made my decision on what color I'm going to get." You said while holding a stick of glittery pink lipstick. Nikki looked at it and smiled. "That's a pretty color on you, but to be fair every color looks great on you," Nikki said while the two of you walked to the front of the makeup store. At the front of the store, the lady rings you up. The lady looks up and chuckles at the sight of Nikki's face. Nikki still had all the lipstick stains on his face. "Find everything okay?" the lady asks while trying to hold in her laughter. "Yeah everything was just fine," You said. Then you pulled out your purse and were about to pay for the lipstick when you felt a hand grab yours. It was Nikki. "No baby, I'll pay this time," he said while holding up his wallet. You roll your eyes and put down your purse. "No Nikki, you paid last time. I should really pay this time too." You said trying not to make a scene. "C'mon baby, please you're paying for lunch so it seems fair," Nikki said still holding up his wallet.

"Ugh fine, you can pay this once," you said while zipping up your purse. Nikki pays and the lady hands Nikki the lipstick. Nikki then hands the lipstick to you. You two walked out of the store and walked down to the food court where the two of you had lunch. This time you paid for lunch. At lunch, you ate a small bowl of pasta and Nikki had a burger and fries. During lunch, lots of people stared at you. Maybe it was because of the way Nikki dressed or the fact that he had a bunch of lipstick stains. Nevertheless, it was a good lunch. After lunch, you and Nikki walked to the car. While in the car, you tried out the new lipstick you bought. You looked at yourself in the car mirror. Before Nikki drove the car, you leaned over to him and kissed him one last time on his cheek. A pink glittery kiss mark remained. You smiled and looked at Nikki. Nikki smiled and kissed you on the lips.

"Okay, let's go home. I'm kinda getting tired," you said while looking at Nikki. Nikki smiled and turned the keys in the ignition. "Alright, then we can go home baby," Nikki said as he held out his hand for you to hold. You grabbed his hand and for the rest of the ride home, you two listened to your favorite songs.

[sadgurl805]

i think he’s neat :)

small little thing for @marsopadraws cuz i looooove their oc keith he’s such a cutie!!!

i’ve also been meaning to draw him for a while so what better time to draw him than when i’m supposed to be studying for finals … :’D

p.s i tried a new hair highlighting style … i hope it looks ok…

[k1ance-a-lot]

I have plans to try some animation with this little cutie, but please admire him in the meantime 💜👿

"Lance! 😳 What are you doing here??? 🥺♥️"

(He surprised Keith at work 🥰)

[https-immotmari]

❝ Is it chill that you're in my head? ❞ ─── mari's mutuals!

WRITER'S LIST OF (DELULU) COMRADES!

in which, mari shows you who she builds friendships with even through online! also, love toya aoyagi ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

. . .@melops-postoffice! ( Lili / she/her / they/them)

or rather formerly known as liqi's-postoffice, if desire any type of manhwa/isekai type of fanfic then you'll definitely going to love her project! especially if you're also a fan of akuneko (devil butler with a black cat). of course, she's into a lot of fandoms like project sekai, cookie run kingdom, honkai star rail, etc!

. . .@sweetkiitsunez! ( Kiit / she/her / they/them )

well, kiit actually restarted her acc in tumblr so, make way for her rebirth of a acc! kiit's one amazing person even though i've only met kiit through discord but, still one awesome person! please be warned that kiit's works may have dark theme so, please be responsible in what you read.

. . .@herri-writes! ( Herri / she/her )

the reason why I found ensemble stars, no joke. girlie hasn't been rather active since I think she's busy with schoolworks and her private life (she's much older than me) though her works are quite on point. I recommend her acc for anyone!

. . .@invui! ( Yinnie / she/her )

the one I used to bully back in the server, especially when it was june back then hehe. this acc is actually her sideblog I think, with her main acc tagged there of course. I honestly recommend her acc for anyone especially if you're a fan of kpop!

. . .@bianjay! ( Keith / he/him )

this guy is one cutie-patootie once you chat/meet him, seriously! also, this is yin's kid, everyone say hi to him. he's also a kpop stan alongside his mom, like mother, like son they say. his acc is mostly reblogs about kpop, often TXT, memes, gifs, etc. though, I think he's also into some fandoms outside of kpop.

. . .@moonvityy! ( Emmie / she/her )

if i remember correctly, emmie and kiit are like the oldest among us here. it's no wonder why emmie got that mama bear vibes lol and is a lamli bennet simp fr. say hi to lamli's wife, everyone hehe.

. . .@xlvr-renas! ( Karu/Xin / he/him / they/them )

my ride and die bestie when it comes to teasing the others💗I think he, alongside with Keith, would send c'mon, baby, america memes in the serve and then due to that, I felt goofy and send a meme myself. boschi simp.

. . .@fwoomiufy! ( Miu / she/her )

ammon lead's wife, everyone! besties since we too are delulu about certain butlers hehe, though, a sweetheart one! I, alongside some in the server, send ammon fan arts and she just malfunction.

. . .@pudding-pompurin, @pluckpleepplop!

they're rather new mutuals of mine! I hope we can get along real well (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

. . .@reikaoproducer! ( Kiyo / she/her / he/him / they/them )

ngl, I'm a huge fan of their project sekai sideblog! can't believe that their main acc is mutuals with lil' ol me ヾ(•ω•`)o! I recommend any of their acc like seriously! their writing is so good and the way the scenario or story goes it's like heaven!

. . .@sukiyukiii! ( Suki/Yuki / she/her / they/them )

a newcomer in the tumblr app, everyone say hi! yuki is actually my best friend in real life so, gotta be more careful with my post since two of my bestfriends are now following me ( of course, I followed back ). thank you for the genderbent project sekai au, especially the Eizou, crumbs 💛💛💛 I recommend project sekai users there to interact nicely to her! she's a sweetheart dw!

. . .@emoszart! ( Scarlet / they/them )

another one of my bestfriends in real life now taking form into a tumblr acc. her mind is one of the reasons why I'll take HUMSS. I recommend her acc for those who want like a dark, mysterious, fantasy type of lore and drawing! she's one of the best artist, I can assure you that ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

WRITER'S END NOTE!

so, yeah! that's all my mutuals for now! overall, all are lovely people to interact with so don't be nervous around them. ′ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

[tame-a-messenger]

OMG SO SMOSH RELEASE A TRAILER FOR THE NEW LIVE SHOW. WHATEVER. IT'S FUN.

BUT I was watching it and had a full body reaction at the end of the song they were singing because you can hear angela's and damien's pretty voices at the end of it. I know how much all of us want to see them singing together and this was kinda of a glimpse of that and it made me so happy. their voices are so gorgeous, especially side by side, god I need a duo from these two so desperately!

WAIT WHERE

Are you talking about (starting at (2:25) where first it's Chanse then Ang and then who I believe is Damien? (it could be Keith?)(oof that boy can sing high notes)

It was SO PRETTY!

(I'm fucking dying at Damien and Angela in the beginning) (My Cuties™ fr)

(I will be requesting timestamps for when you can hear Dames and Ang in the teaser song!) (I know DAMN WELL they gave that boy parts to sing other than the very end!) (if that really is him)

People I can 100% hear in the song are: Angela, Chanse, Courtney, Keith. (Pretty much everyone that sings at Smosh)

The biggest thing is I can't tell if it's Keith or Damien at the end high note? Keith would make more sense, since he's in the rest of the song, but there's still a possibility of it being Damien?

Edit: I'm getting updates that it's Keith doing the run at the end- NOT Damien..... A whole cast of their singers BUT Damien!? What the HECK!

[dualityvn]

Boys' reactions to an mc who uses lots of,,,, possessive pet names? (My love, my angel, my darling, my cutie, my sunshine, my starlight, ....). Sometimes MC even trails off without adding anything to the "my" and "mine" kinda becomes a petname on its own, specially during make out sessions. They are too busy smooching to elaborate so it's just a string of breathless "my... My... My..." interrupted by kisses

Also them introducing them to their friends and instead of saying "my boyfriend" they just add "my" to their names. "This is my Keith"/"this is my Ten". They do it without realizing and when anyone points out MC just deadpans "his name is Keith/Tenebris, and he is mine. I don't see what the big deal is." so matter of factly like yes, the sun shines, the sky is blue, the grass is green, and they are mine.

They would melt internally every time. They'll never get tired of hearing you say that. Because you're absolutely right, they're all yours and they hope that never changes.

[bagerfluff]

Voltron Master List

🌶️ = Smut

Keith Kogan x NB Reader

Keith's A What?

50% Galra, 100% Stunning

Keith Kogan x Male Reader

Realization

Pidge Gunderson/Katie Holt x Male Reader

Sleepy Confessions

Keith Kogan x Male Reader

Scared And Crying

Exhausted And Guilt Ridden

Pidge Gunderson/Katie Holt x Male Reader

Y/n's Plan Not To Be Ignored

Little Cutie

[childoftheriver]

Look how proud they are!

[lil-melody-moon]

HELLO DEAR😏😏 I couldn’t let you go to sleep peacefully after what you did to me.

ENJOY THIS CUTIE❤️

watch out for you inbox tomorrow 😏😏😏😏😏I might send you a “clue pic” about the fic I told you about

Of course you had to bite me back-

Oh, OH! Two new pics!!!

I'm answering on this half asleep, so I'm extra on the heart producing side right now.

I don't know what it is about the sweater in the first pic, but he looks so cozy in it, also this pic gives me the homemade vibe, love that, just him in the every day routine 💜

I can't stop myself from giggling when I see a single pic from that interview - this sweater has minutes to live 😂 Love how focused he looks like, Gosh I'm just 🫠

Third is a new one for me! Yes, you got that teeth back in place, you cutie you!

Oof, greetings to the dress designer - seriously he only has a few minutes in this movie and yet I'm head over hills for this mean fucker. Puppy like gaze tho, I wanna kiss him 👉👈 it's dangerous, but I wanna

*dies with the next pic* I'm dead, I'm no more, fuck I'm so weak to this pic. He's chubby, with a beard, smiling so cutely, ACK LET ME HUG HIM! THIS IS NOT A LOT TO WISH FOR! GOD! I've never wanted to be this close to a guy ever in my entire life ><

And the last one is also a new one to me! Homemade looking as well, Keith just chilling, grinning so sweetly, I'm yet again 🫠🫠

Oh, a clue pic? I'm afraid now... A bit 🥺

[elliethefroggy]

“Who sent you? The Blue Bird? The zombified husk of Zuckerberg? Yahoo? Was it Yahoo? Have they still not got over their past mistakes? Just tell me!” Rodriguez shouted, shooting up from their chair, banging their fists down hard against the table. 

“Sir Rodriguez,” the King said, still seated, “It will not do to lose your temper; that is undoubtedly what they want.”

“Of course, Your Highness. My apologies.” Rodriguez straightened their tunic, and sat back down, clearing their throat as they smoothed out all non-existent wrinkles; Rodriguez’s clothes would never dare to wrinkle, especially in the middle of an interrogation. 

“Now,” King Keith spoke, addressing the prisoner seated opposite them, “Let us try again. Just answer these simple questions. Who are you? Who sent you? What are your intentions?”

The beautiful woman shackled to the table—never in their lives had either interrogator seen such a resplendent woman: perfect skin, perfect nose, perfectly painted lips, and a perfectly symmetrical face, unnaturally so—fluttered its impossibly long, perfectly mascaraed eyelashes, momentarily hiding those perfect, huge soulless eyes—soulless yet still so bewitching. 

“My name is opheliabusby653 but, honey, you can call me Ophelia.” The pornbot winked, batting those impossibly long eyelashes. Rodriguez gasped ever so quietly, moved by the splendour despite their disgust.

The King, equally affected though he thought he was hiding it well (he wasn’t), continued with the questions. “What of your intentions, opheliabusby653?”

“I’m just here for a little fun,” it said, pushing its voluptuous breasts forward, “Do you want to have some fun with me?” It asked Rodriguez, looking directly into their wide eyes. Rodriguez could do nothing but gape like a particularly unimpressive carp deprived of oxygen.

King Keith sighed; Rodriguez was his best interrogator.

~two hours later (in a French accent)...~

“Please. Why are you here? What is your purpose? Money? Is it money? Prestige? Glory? Some form of intricate revenge plot that only you are aware of? What wrongs have we committed to deserve such things?” Rodriguez cried.

“I’m so bored. Are you busy? I want to play an adult game with you.” The pornbot winked again. Ever since the start of the interrogation, the temptress had winked at least once every ten minutes.

The slightest wrinkle adorned Rodriguez’s sleeve.

~three more hours later (in the same French accent)...~

King Keith was hunched over in his chair, hands clutching at his curls (Amir, the royal groomer, was going to be so disappointed in him).

Rodriguez—whose left eye hadn’t stopped twitching for the last half hour—was reduced to screaming hysterically at the prisoner in a rather unprofessional manner. But, in these trying times, the King was willing to excuse such behaviour. Rodriguez’s clothes were going to need an iron.

“Hey cutie. Don’t you want to have a great time? Heads up, I can get a little loud once I get going,” opheliabusby653 said, leaning over the table, its generous curves straining against the flimsy fabric of its rather risqué outfit.

“What do you want from us?” Rodriguez demanded, ignoring the prisoner’s question. 

“You look like the type of silver fox with a very delicious aubergine I could salivate over.”

“What does that even mean!”

There was a knock at the door, almost drowned out by Sir Rodriguez’s intense interrogation methods (aka wailing in frustration; not their most effective tactic). 

“Enter,” the King spoke immediately, at a speed only employed by those desperate for a distraction.

Sir Highberry stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, ready to report. 

The King stood up and beckoned him to the back of the room where their conversation wouldn’t be overheard.  

“How goes the interrogation, my lord?” Sir Highberry quietly asked.

“Not great; these beings must have been trained to withstand our interrogation techniques because we can’t get the slightest bit of useful information out of our one.”

*cut to opheliabusby653 in the background. “You’re so sexy. I love hanging out with new people,” it said while Rodriguez shouted obscenities at it.*

“How’s Brian doing with his pornbot? Anything?” King Keith asked over the noise.

“I’m afraid not, Sire,” Sir Highberry replied as he glanced to the other occupants of the room. He had a far more difficult time ignoring the interrogation, having never seen Sir Rodriguez so out-of-sorts before; there were two whole creases on Sir Rodriguez’s right sleeve. “Brian has tried even the most outlandish torture methods he knows, and all andrearobinette998 does is moan for more.” Sir Highberry soldiered on. “He has moved on to some of the most fiendish methods involving a feather duster and a goldfish, so fiendish that I can’t bear to mention more, Your Highness.”

King Keith placed a noble hand on Sir Highberry’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. “I understand, Sir Highberry,” he said, for Brian the Torturer’s techniques—though exceptionally creative—were best not to be spoken of in polite conversation, “And what of The Wizard Sarah? Has she had any luck? Has her mystifying and intricate spells revealed anything to her?”

*cut to The Wizard Sarah in the next room over, hitting a pornbot over and over again with a most precise and arcane implement (a hammer), screaming in rage as norahamburg807 keeps begging for more, asking The Wizard Sarah if she wants to play with some of its favourite adult toys*

“The Wizard Sarah has figured out that, though these bots have the appearance of hot single women in our area, they are in fact something much more sinister,” Sir Highberry said, “Their agreeable appearance is nothing more than illusion and trickery. It is a method of camouflage to bait and ambush their prey.” 

“How sinister.”

“Indeed, Your Grace. In addition, they do not appear sentient, just mindless but comely bits of code, designed to seduce and corrupt with the objective of leading us astray into a life of sin and malware. The Wizard Sarah has theorised that they feed off of attention and credit card information.” 

“What of our defences?” 

“They’re not looking good, my lord. We’re holding as best we can but we’re running low on arrows and rocks to hurl at them. Their numbers are too great. I fear we will be overrun before long.” 

“How many?”

“It’s hard to say, Your Grace, they all look so alike; all handsome, flawless, sparsely dressed women. Hundreds, maybe thousands, but more waves keep materialising from over the horizon.”

“This situation is most bizarre. Do they not know that porn is now a sin in these lands ever since the great purge of 2018? As the Almighty Staff had (wrongfully) decreed.”

“But Sire, they don’t have any porn.”

“What? Pornbots without porn?” King Keith scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous; you’re talking absolute nonsense.”

“It’s true, Your Excellency. The Wizard Sarah has confirmed it. These pornbots are completely empty on the inside. They carry no imagery of a salacious nature, no naked flesh for the eyes to feast upon. Nothing that could lead to the slightest impure thought or self-stimulation.” 

“Nothing? Not even one singular tit?” The King asked, scandalised.

“Not the one, Your Grace,” Sir Highberry replied, “They seem to be making up for their emptiness, their lack of the essential porn with sheer numbers, Sire. We have never before witnessed such a formidable army.”

“How strange. What of my followers? How are they fairing?”

“The peasants have amassed in front of the True Blue #001935 shrines, and are all ceaselessly reporting the bot army to the Almighty Staff. But we do not know if They hear our prayers or if They even have the power to help us. I fear we would need a miracle (preferably from some other higher form than the Almighty Staff, one with a bit more know-how and digital proficiency).”

The door burst open, interrupting both the whispered conversation in the back and the turbulent one-sided interrogation. Sir Amy rushed in the room, hair artistically dishevelled, uniform rumpled to an extent that made Sir Rodriguez shudder. 

“Sire,” she said, out of breath. Though before she could continue, opheliabusby653 lunged towards her as far as its chains would allow it, the table growing with the bot’s force. 

Sir Amy jumped away, escaping out of reach of the pornbot’s perfectly-aligned and blindingly-white snapping teeth. 

“Hey there,” opheliabusby653 said, “Do you want to hook up? I could show you a good time,” it promised Sir Amy, making eyes at her in a most indecent fashion.

“What is it, Sir Amy?” The King asked as the pornbot strained towards her.

Sir Amy tore her wide-eyed gaze from the bot and looked to the King, “It’s the pornbots, Your Majesty. They’re attempting to breach the outer wall. We’re blocking them as fast as we can, but fresh, new pornbots just climb on top the empty husks of their fallen comrades, stacks of bots trying to reach the top of the ramparts. There are just too many of them. It’s only a matter of time before they breach the castle walls.”

“Have we received word from our mutuals?” The King asked Sir Highberry.

“Yes, but all our neighbouring mutuals are facing the same problem,” Sir Highberry said, “It seems the pornbot army’s reach stretches far and wide. Reinforcements can’t be sent to our aid for at least another two days.”

“We’ll need to hold strong until then.” King Keith looked to Sir Amy, “Have the inner wall reinforced and move all provisions into the keep.”

“Yes, my liege,” Sir Amy said before taking her leave, the pornbot’s body swaying towards her as she moved away as would a sunflower following the golden bright rays, as would a cockroach attracted to the slightest crumb of nourishment.

“Let us hope the Almighty Staff hears our prayers,” the King stated gravely, looking off dramatically into the middle distance.

After a pause of respectable length, Sir Highberry said, “I’ve never seen a pornbot react so powerfully before.” The pornbot was looking forlornly at Sir Amy’s retreating back.

“Oh, yes,” The King said, refocusing his gaze back onto the present company, “The pornbots seem obsessed with Sir Amy; the last pornbots—sophiehald159 if I remember correctly—nearly broke our favourite interrogation table trying to get to her.”

“We believe it’s because of Sir Amy’s popularity,” Sir Rodriguez added, “Everyone loves her due to a combination of her charming personality and her perfectly-coiffed hair”. 

They all watched along with the pornbot as Sir Amy marched down the hall, her short locks both fluffy and bouncy defying gravity with every step. 

[justmultifandom]

Kidge headcancanon n.4 (????)

Keith planned to ask Pidge out during a mission with the Blades, and obliusly needs some advice. But he couldn't call Hunk, Shiro or Lance so he asked to the only people that was with him (The generals golden trioooo)

Zethrid: "You should push her on the wall and kiss her!"

Ezor: "Call her cutie and flirt with her first!"

Keith: "Come on, girls! I won't do this!"

Ezor: "No!No! I know! Make her a present!"

Zethrid: "Just kiss her with your tongue!"

Keith: "I'm done with you two!"

Acxa: "What if you just ask her?"

[weepingguitar1968]

The Rolling Stones x You - An New Friend

(To people who hate Bill: Exit this post)

Year 1977

You decided to surprise the Stones. And that's exactly how you took the kitten.

A black little kitten.

You took him off the street. Someone threw him out.

You went to your neighbors and asked if anyone had lost it.

Everyone said no.

He had no collar and looked unkempt.

It looked like someone had thrown it out a few days earlier.

You were a little afraid of your friends' reactions, but you hoped that everything would be fine.

Just in case, you entered through the back door.

You were lucky because no one was sitting there.

Everyone was probably in their rooms.

Possibly in the bathroom.

Keith and Mick like to use the bathroom to make a marijuana smoking room there.

You opened the bathroom door slightly.

There was no one there.

Even better.

You went into the bathroom with the kitten and decided to clean it of all the dirt from the street.

The kitten was obviously happy to have found a home.

But he didn't know that there are 6 owners.

You are a cat lover, and whenever you see a kitten on the street, you want to pet it or adopt it.

You had to come to terms with the fact that there would be a fight over who would name him.

To avoid this, you had to think quickly.

You wanted to choose between Ringo and Roger.

Possibly Elvis or Davy.

You decided to name him Elvis.

And finally, the moment that had to come.

You had to show the cat to the Stones.

You sat down with him on the couch in the living room.

"GUYS! I HAVE A SURPRISE."

You thought they would kill you for having a cat in the house.

When you called them, Mick was doing a stair race with Ronnie.

They took blankets, and they came down, lying on these blankets.

The kitten hissed and curled up in your lap.

You calmed him down by stroking his back.

Ronnie quickly walked over and started stroking the kitten from every possible angle.

"OH MY GOD. KITTY. LITTLE KITTY!"

Ronnie was excited.

Mick crawled up behind him.

He started jumping for joy.

"FINALLY. MY DREAM CAME TRUE! WHAT IS HIS NAME?" you were convinced that there will be a battle for a name here.

"Elvis," you said, proud of yourself.

"SWEET!"

The kitten found out that Mick and Ronnie are not dangerous.

Then Bill came down.

When he saw Elvis, he walked up to you and politely asked if he could hold him.

Of course you agreed, adding "be careful he doesn't bite you or something."

Bill loved animals.

And you didn't think he also loved cats.

"What's his name? Have you given him a name yet?" Bill asked.

“I named him Elvis,” you said, noticing Keith walking towards you.

"Oooh, who's this cutie?" Keith asked.

You were about to answer, but Mick interrupted you.

"Are you talking about me or Elvis?" Mick asked, smiling suspiciously.

"But wait a minute, this cat's name is Elvis?" Keith asked and you replied "Yes. I named him that. I brought him off the street."

Keith patted Elvis on the head.

And Charlie came in...

When he saw Elvis, he looked...

scared?

"GET THIS BEAST OUT OF HERE" Charlie said.

You were surprised because Charlie had never shown any hatred towards cats.

“Charlie, calm down, it's just a little kitten. He won't hurt you because he's scared." you said, trying to calm Charlie's fear.

"Are you sure? What if it turns out that he is aggressive? That he will attack everyone here? Has he even been washed?" he said, moving back further.

"He won't hurt you. I washed him before you came. He's not aggressive. Even if he hisses at you, don't be afraid. He's more afraid of you than you are of him." you assured moving a little closer to Bill.

"He's sweet," Bill said, handing Elvis back to you.

"Do you want to hold him?" you asked, to which Charlie after a long moment replied, "I can."

So you gave him the kitten.

And he fell asleep in Charlie's arms.

"Is it alive or dead?" Charlie asked, not knowing what to do.

"HE IS ALIVE." you scolded Charlie.