#/FRAK MAN

[smokbeast]

Seeing allot of trans stuff lately. I don't do this but obviously trans people and all people of LGBTQ+ are welcome here!! If you are a terf or sick mf I will stomp on you till you die you are not welcome here.

Also merlot, frak and soma are trans! Allot of my ocs are of the queer skellies and my goobies alike so hehe :]

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Ash Walker: Part 1

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

“Now that we’re all here it’s time I tell you what the job is.”

Hemlock kicked the holographic table and it buzzed into life, the projection lighting up the room in a soft blue glow. Six pairs of eyes turned to look at the projection as Hemlock pointed to the slowly turning image of a world.

“This is Thescara III-“ he began before being immediately cut off.

“Frak this shit.” One of the onlookers declared. “I’m not sitting one foot on that cursed world. You drop me off on the nearest barren moon.”

“What’s wrong with Thescara III?” another onlooker asked.

Septh looked at Hemlock and scoffed. “No wonder you wanted a new crew of fresh pups, for no seasoned salvager would join up with you.”

“You going to answer my question old man, or are you just keep ignoring me?”

Septh looked at the Fling then back at Hemlock with a hard stare. Hemlock paused and took a look around the room at his new crew. There was the Theosian called Tug standing in the back. He wore his ceremonial metal armor that was crafted to his flesh upon birth and was the muscle of the group.

The Guppin Fling was sitting in front of Tug with all four of his legs crossed. They were the youngest of the group and were it not for his hacking skills he’d not be here at all. Hemlock saw a lot of himself in the Guppin but was worried his enthusiasm would make him careless.

Opposite them were the triplets Nok, Uma, and Rue. None of them were particularly good with any skillset, but Hemlock needed the extra hands for lugging things and they came cheap. In truth he still didn't know which was which so he’d just shout a name and tell them to do something.

Last was Septh; the only one he’d used for multiple jobs. He was an old hand at the salvage game and was understandably not happy about being kept in the dark until the last moment.

“Thescara III was originally a human world until their war with the Jen. Rather than engage the humans on the surface where they knew the humans had the advantage they dropped a couple thousand low yield nuclear bombs across the entire surface reducing it to perpetual nuclear winter.”

“Cowards.”

Hemlock turned to see Tug adjusting himself against the wall and send a small tremor through the decking before spitting a gob of something black on to the floor and continued talking.

“True warriors face their foes face to face; not through the lens of a computer monitor.”

“If you knew what humans can do with a sharpened stick you might think twice.”

The triplets snickered at this but went silent when Tug shot them a sidelong glance.

“None of this matters, save for the fact there is over seven million credits locked away in the capital branch bank of Universal Credit that is just sitting there waiting to be nabbed.”

The mention of loot drew everyone’s attention. That many credits were enough to buy decent chunk of a moon, or live a life of luxury on a paradise world for seven lifetimes.

 “It’s just been sitting there; this entire time?” one of the triplets asked. “How do we know the credits are still there?”

Gods they even sound the same, Hemlock thought.

“’The planet has been an ecological nightmare ever since the bombs went off. You can only stay on the surface for a short period of time before the radiation levels kill you. Couple that with the vault’s combination randomly rotating itself every hour it’s made it impossible to crack it before the radiation bakes you.”

“If that’s true then what chance do we have?” Septh interrupted.

In response Hemlock reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold disc.

“Because we aren’t going to need to crack the vault with this little ticket here.” Hemlock smiled. “As this little dingy is a corporate level security key, which can open any UC vault automatically.”

The triplets and Fling whistled in amazement, and with good reason. Those types of security keys were only given to executive level personnel and the loss of one would trigger an immediate reaction force to retrieve it.

“Do I want to know how you got that?” Septh asked.

Hemlock shrugged. “I’m borrowing it from a certain partner who will remain nameless for now.”

He pointed back to the hologram and grinned. “Now, time to plan our payday.” ---------------------------

Parting through the dense cloud coverage, Hemlock kept a constant eye on the retro rockets to match the ever changing wind patterns. He had flown through hurricanes and gale force winds that could cleave metal like paper, yet Thescara III was proving to be an entirely different beast.

Not only was the planet covered in a near perpetual cloud cover that dispensed ash but the sheer amount of nuclear bombs that had been dropped had also changed the planet’s equilibrium. Wind direction changed in intensity and direction by the minute, air pockets were abound like it was a minefield, and that wasn’t even getting into the random lightning strikes that could short out the entire ship if one struck home.

“I told you this planet was-“ Septh began before another air pocket the ship and the ship dropped suddenly.

Hemlock grinned at his good fortune and once more adjusted a series of dials. It took a few moments to pass through the last bit of turbulence and finally get below the cloud cover.

“Welcome to Thescara III everyone.” Hemlock said as the planet’s surface finally came into view.

As far as his eyes could see the entire planet was covered in layer upon layer of grey ash. Spires of city skyscrapers loomed up out of the ground like the skeleton fingers of gods, their shadows casting long across the ruins of a dead city.

After a few moments of circling Hemlock found the ideal landing site and brought the ship down. From the city records he was able to obtain the opening was once a large park at the heart of the capital city and only a few city blocks away from their target.

With a loud thud the support legs touched down on the surface and the engines began slowly powering down. Hemlock was already unbuckling harness and making for the cargo hold. Septh was in lock step behind him as the pair entered the hold to find the rest of the crew already suiting up.

Tug still had his armor on but had donned an atmospheric helmet. Hemlock could see the faint green glow of targeting feeds displaying on the inside of the helmet as the warrior performed basic systems checks. The triplets were gathering around hauler making final checks. They wore standard atmospheric suits with different colors for distinction as they circled the hauler. It was an anti-grav model with several large cases stacked on the back which the crew would fill with credits.

Hemlock was crazy enough to take this risk but not stupid enough to think he or his crew could haul seven million credits back without transport so the triplets were to be glued to the thing the entire time.

Fling was the last of the group off to the side that Hemlock found. He was struggling to attach the gloves of his suit when he approached and helped him.

“So if we have a key to the vault,” Fling began as he nodded thanks to Hemlock for the glove assist, “why exactly do you need me?”

“If the key fails you’re the contingency.” Hemlock said plainly. “I always hedge my bets, and I always have a plan B.”

Fling smirked. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted for being plan A.”

Hemlock didn’t reply as he finished checking the rest of Fling’s suit and stepping back as Septh approached. He casually flung a spare helmet to Hemlock who caught it midair and donned it with ease.

“Listen up everyone,” he began as he spoke over the shared com network, “we have three hours to get in and out before the next radiation wave sweeps through here.”

Slapping the release button on the side of the hull sirens began blaring and the boarding ramp slowly cracked open and lowered down to the surface. A fresh blizzard of ash slowly began sweeping into the hold as the crew hopped onboard the hauler.

“Keep in coms range, keep an eye on your radiation meters, and for frak’s sake do not go wandering off.” Hemlock broke off checking on his crew to look down the boarding ramp as it fully opened. “This is not a world you want to be alone on.”

With his instructions delivered he slapped the top of the hauler’s cab and the triplets drove the vehicle forward. No sooner had the hauler reached the bottom of the ramp did Hemlock realize something was wrong.

“Is that what I think it is?”

Hemlock turned to see Fling looking off to the left of the boarding ramp and followed his gaze. His eyes went wide as he saw the outline of a Nebula B class freighter parked right next to his ship.

From the cockpit he had assumed it was another mound of ash, but now looking up at it from the ground he could see the underside of the ship clear as day. It’s boarding ramp was likewise lowered but now was coated in several layers of ash.

“Competition?” Tug asked as he hefted his power rifle. Septh shook his head in response as his eyes went over the freighter.

“This thing’s been here a while now.” He answered. Tug looked at him then back at the silent freighter. “How can you tell?” he asked.

“Nebula B’s are notorious for their engines never fully shutting down and always making a low rumbling sound.” Septh said as he put a hand to his ear. “For it to be silent it must have burned through its fuel reserves, and those can last about two-three years.”

“That’s not the half of it.”

Hemlock turned to see Tug nodding in the opposite direction to see a row of other spaceships lining alongside theirs like a giant parking lot.

“What the hell is this…” One of the triplets said from the hauler cabin. “Where are all their crews? Why’d they leave their ships out like this?”

“It’s-“ Septh began but Hemlock cut him off.

“Shut it.” Hemlock barked. He pointed down the road lined with ash covered vehicles. “We’ve got three hours and we don’t have time to waste!”

The crew looked amongst themselves before the hauler lurched forward again.

[bramblebush2]

Literally just dumping some screencaps of dragons rising season 2 part 2 because I have too many thoughts about it (spoilers!)

my kids...

Such an underrated duo they were amazing this season

get yourself a girl who will look at you like this

or get yourself a man who will look at you like this

I kinda ship Arin and Frak too..

Cinder was so bbg and for what

yesss more father daughter moments please

Nooo my boy but also yesss we're getting an Arin betrayal that'll last longer than 1 episode!!!

This'll be such a good duo too

my little girlfailure <3

also these are not in order of when they appeared, like at all

[lingthusiasm]

Lingthusiasm Episode 87: If I were an irrealis episode

Language lets us talk about things that aren't, strictly speaking, entirely real. Sometimes that's an imaginative object (is a toy sword a real sword? how about Excalibur?). Other times, it's a hypothetical situation (such as "if it rains, we'll cancel the picnic" - but neither the picnic nor the rain have happened yet. And they might never happen. But also they might!). Languages have lots of different ways of talking about different kinds of speculative events, and together they're called the irrealis.

In this episode, your hosts Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne get enthusiastic about some of our favourite examples under the irrealis umbrella. We talk about various things that we can mean by "reality", such as how existing fictional concepts, like goblins playing Macbeth, differ from newly-constructed fictions, like our new creature the Frenumblinger. We also talk about hypothetical statements using "if" (including the delightfully-named "biscuit conditionals), and using the "if I were a rich man" (Fiddler on the Roof) to "if I was a rich girl" (Gwen Stefani) continuum to track the evolution of the English subjunctive. Finally, a few of our favourite additional types of irrealis categories: the hortative, used to urge or exhort (let's go!), the optative, to express wishes and hopes (if only...), the dubitative, for when you doubt something, and the desiderative (I wish...).

Click here for a link to this episode in your podcast player of choice or read the transcript here.

Announcements:

Thank you to everyone who shared Lingthusiasm with a friend or on social media for our seventh anniversary! It was great to see what you love about Lingthusiasm and which episodes you chose to share. We hope you enjoyed the warm fuzzies!

In this month’s bonus episode, Gretchen gets enthusiastic about swearing (including rude gestures) in fiction with science fiction and fantasy authors Jo Walton and Ada Palmer, authors of the Thessaly books and Terra Ignota series, both super interesting series we've ling-nerded out about before on the show. We talk about invented swear words like "frak" and "frell", sweary lexical gaps (why don't we swear with "toe jam!"), and interpreting the nuances of regional swear words like "bloody" in fiction.

Join us on Patreon now to get access to this and 80+ other bonus episodes! You’ll also get access to the Lingthusiasm Discord server where you can chat with other language nerds.

Here are the links mentioned in the episode:

'Irrealis' entry on Wikipedia

'How do you get someone to care about Shakespeare? Two words: Goblin Macbeth' on CBC

xkcd comic 'Conditionals'

'Pedantic about biscuit conditionals' post on Language Log

'The pragmatics of biscuit conditionals' by Michael Franke

Lingthusiasm episode 'This time it gets tense - The grammar of time'

'Realis and Irrealis: Forms and concepts of the grammaticalisation of reality' by Jennifer R. Elliott

'If all the raindrops' on YouTube

'If I Were a Rich Man (song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One - Rich Girl' on YouTube

'Semi-Toned - Rich Girl (acapella)' on YouTube

'Subjunctive mood' entry on Wikipedia

'Céline Dion - Pour que tu m'aimes encore' on YouTube

WALS entry for 'Feature 73A: The Optative'

Lingthusiasm bonus episode 'How we make Lingthusiasm transcripts - Interview with Sarah Dopierala'

Lingthusiasm episode 'Listen to the imperatives episode'

'Dubitative' entry on Wikipedia

'A grammatical overview of Yolmo (Tibeto-Burman)' entry on WikiJournal of Humanities

You can listen to this episode via Lingthusiasm.com, Soundcloud, RSS, Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also download an mp3 via the Soundcloud page for offline listening.

To receive an email whenever a new episode drops, sign up for the Lingthusiasm mailing list.

You can help keep Lingthusiasm ad-free, get access to bonus content, and more perks by supporting us on Patreon.

Lingthusiasm is on Bluesky, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Mastodon, and Tumblr. Email us at contact [at] lingthusiasm [dot] com

Gretchen is on Bluesky as @GretchenMcC and blogs at All Things Linguistic.

Lauren is on Bluesky as @superlinguo and blogs at Superlinguo.

Lingthusiasm is created by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer is Claire Gawne, our production editor is Sarah Dopierala, our production assistant is Martha Tsutsui Billins, and our editorial assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is ‘Ancient City’ by The Triangles.

This episode of Lingthusiasm is made available under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license (CC 4.0 BY-NC-SA).

[the-estranged-auth0r]

DR S2 SPOILERS!!!!

When Frak was first introduced, I legit thought that his master would be Garmadon cuz???

Idk man I miss him so much to the point I deluded myself into thinking that this "mysterious master" was Garmadon.

When it was revealed to be Ras I was so disappointed like, c'mon the most we get of him is when people say Lloyd's full name.

Manifesting that he shows up in S3 🙏🙏 have him help fix what Wu supposedly did pls!!!

[rainofthetwilight]

with frak joining the team in finale, do you think in season 3 arin will believe that they replaced him?

oh man I actually haven't thought of that 😭 this is very possible ngl but it will make my heart HURT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[divinemissem13]

Every few years I think it’ll be a great idea to rewatch BSG… because I guess a few years is enough time to forget that it is the most stressful television show known to man. 😬 😩

But it’s also so, so, so frakking good. ❤️

[natalieironside]

Also somebody on Battlestar Galactica should've said the F word at least once and it sould've passed without comment. One of these space mormons shakes their head and goes "Man, I frakking hate that motherfucker" and nobody ever mentions it

[netherator]

I'm watching the debate and there is such a clear difference in how they answer questions it's insane how this man ever got office.

When asked about his views on the "isreal-palistine conflct" donald instead brought up russia and their invasion of Ukraine, saying it would "never happen" if he had won the presidency in 2020 and blamed Joe for its occurrence. And while I do not agree with her statements that isreal "has a right to defend itself." I prefer that Harris actually made a statement and addressed the question. I also prefer that she clearly stated that the isreal "defense" has come at the cost of FAR too many lives.

Another time when asked specifically on what he believes the ideal outcome of the Ukraine-Russian war is for America, Donald refused to make a clear statement, instead simply saying that "it should end." Kamala, on the other hand, immediately responds to Donald saying Russia is a treat and that support for it is threatening the fall of democracy.

while Trump continuously dodges questions, blames others for his problems, diverges wildly from the initial prompt with no intention of actually participating, the one time I actually saw Harris say something not related to the question at hand, it is to address Donald's false claims that she wishes to completely ban frakking and "take away everyone's guns," something she clearly states she will do with intention to answer the question asked.

[catoperated]

People say Game of Thrones failed to stick the landing so hard it was immediately deleted (die hard fans step back, this is about normie viewers) from the public consciousness, but before that we had the Battlestar Galactica reboot. Like GoT, it was a runaway hit, people were gathering around water coolers to speculate over who was a Cylon and buying “What the Frak?!” T-shirts. Then it ended and everyone went, “That’s it? And Kara was what now?”

Now when I rewatch 30 Rock that shameless bit of product placement with the shirt reminds me of being the poor soul who only cared about Admiral Adama and Roslyn.

Same thing happened with LOST, where I watched an illegal live stream of the finale in an indie theater… back when streaming was in its infancy, so it was very novel. Commercials and everything on the big screen. When the credits rolled against the eerie backdrop of the burning plane wreckage on an empty beach, there were a few seconds of stunned silence* before someone yelled, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” and chaos erupted. The guy manning the projector had to run out to beg people to stop throwing things. There were no more illegal show broadcasts after that.

I always find it fascinating when something grips people so fiercely for a while and then just… drifts away, leaving barely a ripple in the collective zeitgeist in its wake.

James Cameron’s Avatar is the movie version of this.

And then there’s Seinfeld. We will never be free of Seinfeld.

*After watching Billiam’s exhaustive series on LOST, I get now that they had it planned all along, and I gotta hand it to them for sticking to it after it became a meme. Imagine if Marvel had the guts to not upend series because fans guessed the twist.

[searider--falcon]

Battlestar Galactica x The Odyssey

10 - The Battle of the Colony as The Strait of Messina, Home of Scylla and Charybdis

Following the instructions of Tiresias and Circe, Odysseus and his men sail between Scylla, a man-eating creature who dwells in a cave in the cliffs, and Charybdis, a monstrous whirlpool which destroys anything that comes within its reach. Odysseus chooses to sail closer to Scylla, for although he is doomed to lose some men to her, getting too close to Charybdis would mean death for the entire crew.

Locations in Battlestar Galactica as stops in the Odyssey. Quotes are from the Robert Fagles or Emily Wilson translations, depending on what I thought fit best.

Screencaps are from https://frak-that.com

[harveybwabbit92]

Man: And just as they was about to come, they screamed "Oh Ultraman!!"

Seven: What's wrong with that? You are Ultraman.

Man: Then they turned around a said, "Oh frak, sorry Neos."

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The sign says “Closed” Part 1

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)      

Chips clattered down and Nez tore her gaze away from her cards to look at Globin.

“Raise” he said, the words slurring from his fat lips as if they were bubbling up from the depths of a sludge pit. He coughed loudly and spat something out the size of a small frompel into a can under his side of the table. Nez shivered in disgust and glanced back at her own cards to stop herself from vomiting.

She never liked inviting the Vlapion to the backroom card nights at her pub the “Shinning Carron”, but he had money and was usually an easy mark to make an extra cycle’s wages off of. She also knew that he kept coming back despite losing so much because he was hoping to eventually win enough to drive her into bankruptcy and force some sort of “physical” encounter with her to make the money back.

“I too shall…” a new voice cut in and then stopped.

Nez looked to Globin’s left to see HZ-535, a Mechanizt, pushing its chips forward and backwards. HZ was one of the few non-organics she could tolerate. It never said why it had a personality but Nez figured it must have developed one by itself after it was left stranded on a class VI planet for several years. That, or it had a few wires crossed; she could never tell.

HZ wore a black robe hiding most of its features leaving only a smooth polished dome for a face with two blinking red lights for eyes. The eyes kept blinking back and forth as one of its hands continued shuffling the chips, another tapping the table rhythmically, and another stacking and shuffling their hand with such skill it’d make a casino dealer jealous.

HZ continued blinking until Globin brought his thick hand up and smacked the back of HZ’s head.

“Raise!” HZ announced loudly and threw even more chips into the pile.

Globin spat again before looking back at his cards. Nez had to admit that while she despised the Vlapion she was impressed with his boldness. She had witnessed on more than occasion when someone else had made physical contact with HZ only to have their arms removed from their body. In rarer cases depending on how offended HZ had been he would even go further and proceed to beat them with their former limbs as they bled out on the floor. For whatever reason HZ only tolerated when Globin smacked him; to which neither had since explained why.

With that Nez turned to the final member of their little poker game who was looking less than pleased, Markus. He was another human like herself, worked down at a nearby mine as a technician and had been a personal friend of hers since she opened the bar. He was gruff around the edges and she was convinced he believed soap was for other people since every time she saw him he looked like he had just rolled around in dirt for an hour.

“Fold.” Markus said dryly; tossing his cards into the pot and taking a swig of their waiting drink.

HZ’s eyes tore themselves from the cards and looked at the man. ‘Why do you fold so frequently? Is this a common trait amongst humans?”

“I don’t fold that often.” He replied as he eyed up the robot. HZ was unconvinced as he continued “Your predictions of folding during a fresh hand are sitting at 73%, with a further 35% chance of you making an obscene hand gesture in my general direction.” No sooner had HZ finished was Markus already confirming his prediction with a vivid hand gesture.

Nez was stacking her chips in thought about if she would match or raise HZ’s wager when a loud banging sound came from the front of the bar.

Everyone in the group turned at the sound with Globin and Markus looking at each other. HZ turned to Nez and asked “Are we expecting more players?” Nez shook her head as another round of banging could be heard.

“Frak off we’re closed!” Nez shouted; her voice carrying into the front of the bar with little effort after years of shouting. This time instead of further banging the group was greeted with the sound of glass shattering and what sounded like the front door being unlocked.

“Oh you fucking assholes!” Nez slammed her cards down on the table and stormed to the door leading from the backroom to the front of the bar. “I hope you have insurance because you’re about to be sent to the hospital!”

She had just reached the door and put her hand on it to open it when a shower of bullets tore through the wood. Nez ducked back just in time to avoid the shower of splinters as more bullet holes began opening up along the entire length of the wall.

The backroom was suddenly filled with the roaring chatter of fully automatic metal beaters tearing apart the walls. Nez was flat against the ground looking over to see HZ kicking over the table and ducking behind it. Globin still sat confounded by the entire situation, either frozen in fear or stupidity, before HZ grabbed him with a pair of arms and dragged him below the table with him. As for Markus there was no sign of him and Nez had little time to search for him as the deathly hail continued.

Just when the sound was intense enough Nez was sure she was about to go deaf the gunfire stopped.

“Now that we have your attention,” came a voice from the other side of the ruined wall, “we want you to send out Markus Dublane out if he’s still alive.”

Nez crawled along the floor to the ruined wall and leaned against it. Globin was hyper ventilating and not saying much while HZ was quietly reaching for anything it could use as a weapon.  There was a bullet hole just above her and she peaked through it cautiously to see the assailants on the other side.

There were five of them in total; each one wearing a former of body armor underneath a black cloak and carrying a metal beater rifle. Four of them were already reloading fresh magazines into the weapons while the middle one appeared to be the one addressing the group.

“Are you bounty hunters?” Nez shouted. “Because they usually get paid more for live targets you stupid fuck!”

Another shower of bullets erupted and Nez dove away from the wall just in time. Her hiding spot was torn to pieces by the concentrated fire with one bullet ricocheting at her grazing her right shoulder. She let out a grunt of pain before crawling over to her office. Once inside she slammed the door closed behind her with a kick and got behind her desk only to find Markus already hiding there.

The pair looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before Markus tried to say something only for Nez to interrupt him with a swift punch to the face.

“What the hell have you done?!” Nez shouted at him as the bullets started coming through the door to her office. Nez reached past Markus underneath her desk and pulled a compact phase blast revolver. She slapped in six fresh power packs while Markus nursed his injured face.

“I may owe some people a large gambling debt,” he admitted as he spat out a glob of blood, “and I may have been avoiding paying said debt by hiding out on a remote mining colony for the last few years.”

“And you waited until now to tell me this?”

A stray bullet tore part of the desk away and the splinters embedded them in Nez’s cheek. “It’s not exactly something you want to broadcast!” Markus shouted back as the door to the office was violently kicked in and one of the armored figures stepped in.

[smokbeast]

Crawling up from the depths of hell to suggest Frak and/or anyone else in beach day attire! (I think it was this emoji 🏄)

ADds the MAN as a sneak attack, frak absolutely surfing and just expects the worst out of his soggy boyfriend

[madamairlock]

we’ve had trouble locating - [bsg - 01x11, 02x05, 03x18]

saturnalia in space from scratch [18/24]

~ a bsg christmas calender by @madamairlock & @lalalauraroslin 💜💜

18. searching for the hidden presents

Twenty minutes later, Laura stood on the large passenger liner, a hallway of closed doors before her. Billy stood beside her, hands shoved into his pockets, and looked as confused as she did.  “What do we do?” he asked. “Just start knocking on doors?”

“I really don’t think Bill would pass my gift off onto a random civilian,” she replied, “but I don’t have any other ideas. Captain Hardy didn’t say anything?” 

“Copilot said the captain would meet us as soon as he could.” He shrugged and glanced the opposite direction down the corridor.  

“Well, frak.” Her hands landed on her hips and she took a deep breath. “Might as well.”

No one answered at the first two doors and the third door opened to reveal an older woman. She stared blankly for a moment and then smiled widely. 

“Madam President! My gods! What can I do for you?” She turned toward the cabin and added in a shout, “Carl! The President is here!”

“Hi there,” Laura said, her hands folding in front of her. She regretted her decision immediately, but forced a smile. “Have you seen Admiral Adama on board recently?”

“Admiral Adama? No, ma’am.” An elderly man walked up behind the woman and almost protectively came to stand in front of her. “We don’t get out much, I’m afraid.” 

“Oh.” She frowned and glanced at Billy, hoping he would remember better than she did. “I apologize for disturbing you; thank you for your time.”

She flashed another smile and turned away, but listened to make sure the door shut before she knocked on the next one. A little girl answered this time and it took Laura a moment to recognize the twin auburn braids that now had glittering blue and silver strands woven into them. 

“Mrs. President!” She giggled and lunged forward to hug Laura’s leg. 

From the corner of her eye, she saw both Billy and the Marine guard take a step closer, but she held up her hand and then knelt down in front of the girl. “Hello again! I love your braids.”

The little girl smiled even more widely and gently tugged on them. “I can braid your hair too!” She ran off without another word but was back before Laura could even attempt to stand up. “For you!” She extended a short strand of the same blue and silver tinsel and waited until Laura ducked her head to attempt to weave it into her hair. “Pretty!” She clapped and hands and allowed Laura to stand back up, one hand holding the tinsel so it stayed on her head. 

“Thank you.” She smiled widely. “Io Saturnalia, sweetheart.”

“Io Saturnalia! Goodbye!” The girl darted back inside and slammed the door shut, leaving Laura to shake her head and look to Billy. 

He held his hand out—for the tinsel, she assumed—but she shook her head and tried her best to keep it in place.

“It’s festive,” she said with a shrug. 

Billy laughed and they continued on down the corridor. 

It didn’t take long for her to realize no one had seen Bill, but a young couple had seen a pilot wandering the hallways earlier. Hoping there was a connection, Laura sighed and led her shadows back toward the cockpit, her fingers crossed that the captain would be available soon. 

As they approached the upper deck, the cockpit door flew open. Laura’s steps faltered and she glanced at Billy with a raised eyebrow; a voice came through the doorway. 

“I can’t find my frakking jacket. It’s so frakking cold down there!” Captain Hardy grumbled, more focused on his outfit than where he was going. He was nearly through the doorway before he looked up and noticed the people standing there. “Frak. I mean. Uh. Madam President, hello.” 

Laura held back her first reaction and instead cleared her throat. “Has Admiral Adama or any of his pilots stopped by recently?” 

“Uh, yeah.” He shrugged and then understanding dawned on his face. “Oh, you actually came! I thought it was a— Never mind, it doesn’t matter. I do have a message for you.”

She pursed her lips and tried to hide her smile. “Oh?”

“Home.” He shrugged. “Captain Thrace said you’d understand.” 

After a moment, she laughed and nodded. “Yes, I think I do. Thank you, Captain Hardy. I hope neither Captain Thrace nor I disturbed your ship too much.”

“Not at all, ma’am. You’re always welcome.” He smoothed out his shirt and smiled. “Anything else I can do to help?”

Laura shook her head. “Thank you,” she said before gesturing for the guards to move so they could return to the shuttle.  She hoped she had time to make it to Galactica before her next meeting, and there was a part of her almost tempted to reschedule it if not. She still had a present to hunt down.

[rogue-trader-samuel-drakon]

Samuel had looked at the inbox of his mail. "You ha e got to be frakking kidding me..." He groaned as he rubbed his temples.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" Maria asked.

"It's all these people, Maria. They keep asking me about Archonis' gender." Samuel sighed.

"Well... why not just finally answer?"

"That would require Archonis to tell everyone, because not even I know."

"Well then, why not just order Archonis to do it?"

"And why would that work?" Samuel asked with a raised brow.

"Well duh, Archonis is staying on YOUR ship. So that basically means that you make the rules." Maria said as if it was obvious. "Honestly, luv, you need to remember that." She sighed to her friend and captain.

"Well... if you think it would work..." Samuel said in an uncertain tone.

"Oh trust me, it will work." Maria assured as she gave Samuel a push. Literally, as the Lord Captain went on his way to find Archonis.

When he found said Custodes, it was while Archonis was making the rounds on the ship.

"Archonis, hold on a second." Samuel called out.

Archonis turned to see Samuel. "Captain? Is there something I can help you with?"

Samuel took a deep breath. "Archonis, I need you to tell me the truth. Are you a man or a woman?"

The Custodes looked at Samuel for a moment. "Captain, I fail to see why this is important."

Samuel saw that there was no way around this. And so, biting his courage, he made his stance. "Archonis, as the Lord Captain of this vessel, I am ordering you to tell me." He asserted.

Once more, Archonis was silent for a moment. Then two, and then three, before finally speaking. "Very well. I shall tell you..."

Samuel waited, but Archonis didn't say or do anything. "Um... well?"

"I'll tell you later." Archonis said before walking off, leaving a bewildered Samuel.

"W-what?!?! Hold on!!!" He called out, only to be ignored.