#<- held only for 5/8ths of a second

[idontknowreallywhy]

A little true story.

Sooo I’m on the train. It’s a later one cos #longday so I actually get a seat. At a table! 🎉🥳🍾

Anyway, two youngish chaps sit down opposite me. We do that silent ‘ah we shall now sit facing each other in close proximity for many minutes without subsequently acknowledging and certainly not looking at each other’ half-smile-and-nod which is an important part of the sacred London Commuter Law.

Time passes.

I decide non-caffeine-based liquid is a thing I have partaken too little of thus far and recall I have a plastic bottle of water I got in a meal deal with me (which is good because I forgot my awesome Feathers McGraw reusable bottle today).

Bottle is located.

I try to open bottle. Bottle refuses to open.

I examine lid to see if there’s some kind of tag to pull off first. There is not.

I glare at bottle.

Bottle exudes innocence but remains sealed.

I try again.

Nope. Lid will not budge.

I examine the marks left on my hand by the grooves in the lid of the bottle.

Youngish chaps are breaking the sacred ignore your fellow commuters rule and I just KNOW one or both are on the point of offering assistance.

While objectively there is no problem with this, for some reason I am determined to prove to youngish chaps I will never see again that am not weak little old lady but powerful 40-something woman who has adequate hand strength to look after her own hydration needs.

I switch hands and redouble efforts.

THE LID OPENS!!!

I silently congratulate myself for mightiness of power. Am strong, independent person. I deserve respect. I award myself The Certificate of Competence.

My left hand is still holding the bottle. I realise too late that it is still squeezing. Powerfully.

IMPROMPTU WATER FOUNTAIN OCCURS!

Soggy youngish chaps are very decent about being soaked on their quiet Thursday evening commute.

I revoke my Certificate of Competence.

[desireangel]

Dark Cherry [5] | Aemond Targaryen

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: MDNI 18+!! canon divergence!!! Angst!! Aegon is a little shit and doesn't understand boundaries, talk of and allusion to sex, past infidelity, grovelling, Aemond is scared of his emotions, talk of pregnancy and trouble with pregnancy. Talk of miscarriage (not reader's!). Please let me know if I have left anything out!

Author's note: thank you for bearing with me!! I have been busy but my final exam is on the 8th of Nov, and I'm taking a day off from exam prep for my birthday before then, so things should pick up soon on my end. please, once again, let me know your thoughts!

Masterlist

The tea room was silent when he stepped in the next morning. Aemond had been the first to arrive, woken from a shallow sleep at the first stream of sunlight that broke through the curtains. Sleep didn’t come easy to him lately and there was hardly any doubt in his mind as to why. 

It was unlike the Dowager Queen to be late anywhere. Especially when she had been the one to tell him of her plans to discuss certain matters. Embarrassing, really. It was utterly humiliating and pathetic that your marriage had become a problem for more than just yourself and your husband. 

Alicent hadn’t kept him waiting for long and Aemond had barely settled into his seat by the time she had stepped through the door. Greeting her with a stiff nod, Aemond watched as she made herself comfortable, looking ever as poised and elegant as she always did. He wondered if she ever tired of keeping up appearances, even when alone with her own children. 

“Your wife,” she cleared her throat, smoothing out the creases of her dress on her lap. “Aemond, I expected better from you. You are not Aegon; I thought you would be an honourable husband.”

Sucking in a breath, Aemond refused to meet her eye. Only partly out of shame but more so because he knew Alicent could read him better than anyone. She would know his apprehension, she would know his guilt and his shame and all the heartache that came with it. And she would only make it worse. 

Disappointment was all that Aemond could feel from her. It wasn’t new as such. Only, until now he had watched as she stared at Aegon with those eyes. Never himself. In fact, Alicent was nothing if not dismissive when it came to her second son and the feeling of letting his mother down created a whirlpool of uncomfortable sensations in his stomach. 

Wary of his own failure and unsure of how to receive her chagrin, Aemond locked his jaw and kept his head held high. 

“Did you call for me so that you could scold me, mother? For not having a perfect marriage–as if yours was?”

Alicent frowned at him. “You already know I am disappointed. But this is getting out of hand. People gossip–”

“Let them,” he turned away. “I don’t care for it.”

“You should. At least for the dignity of your wife and the threat of scandal on the entire family,” Alicent spoke clearly, with confidence and with reprimand. It was the tone she had only ever used on Aegon and Aemond felt a bubbling of distaste to be on the receiving end of it. “People are questioning your union. Give them a reason not to.”

He scoffed, annoyed at being pestered on something that was already making him lose his stability and his clarity. It had his head falling back and he pinched at the bridge of his nose. “What scheme are you preparing now, mother?”

A look of regret and sadness washed over Alicent’s features and she stood, walking around the table to take a seat beside Aemond on the settee that he sat on. She reached for hands with a tenderness that he had not felt from her in years and it almost made him wretch from the agonizing unfamiliarity. He watched Alicent collect her thoughts, her eyes flitting across his face. 

“You must give her a child, Aemond–” 

A knock from the guard at the door, followed by an announcement of your arrival had them turning to face you at the door. Alicent sighed, wondering how Aemond would take to hearing what she had to say in your presence but greeted you softly and invited you to sit down. 

Aemond couldn’t help himself. His gaze followed your every move and his chest tightened uncomfortably when he noticed how you avoided even looking in his direction. Knowing her son better than anyone would credit her for, Alicent saw the longing and regret in the furrow of his eyebrows and the pursing of his lips. It seemed as if he was a young boy again, desperately yearning for the affection she did not know how to properly give him. 

The seat just across from where mother and son sat was empty and you let yourself settle into it, apologising for interrupting them mid conversation and for arriving late. “You wanted to discuss something with us, Your Grace?”

“Yes,” Alicent didn’t let go of Aemond’s hand. The air grew tense and she cleared her throat before speaking, worried glances shared back and forth from you to Aemond. “I am not here to counsel your marriage but it has been several months. I have discussed the matter of your childlessness with Aegon and some other Councilmen.”

Struggling to find the words to say, you were thankful that Aemond had spoken first. It was exactly what you had expected to hear from her. It was surprising she hadn’t said it sooner. You wondered what exactly Aegon had to say about it but quickly realised that she probably only mentioned the King’s name for formality’s sake. 

With tense shoulders and his gaze locked on you as you continued to avoid meeting his eye, Aemond’s voice was a calm contrast to his frustration. “I understand what my duty is, mother, but we are in the midst of a war. A pregnant wife followed by a new child would be untimely and impractical.”

Hoping you didn’t take his words to mean something that they did not, Aemond refused to look away from you, watching as you frowned. “If my husband does not wish for me to carry a child, Your Grace, I cannot force one upon him.”

At the tense silence that followed, you finally met Aemond’s gaze. A silent challenge that he understood as clear as day. He shifted, turning to his mother with an indifferent expression.

A child. Aemond wished for children of his own to love and adore; he wished to be the father he never had. For the first time since the wedding, Aemond could imagine making you a mother and being made a father by you. It was a sweet thought that had something stirring underneath his skin. 

What he had said was exactly what he believed and there was no hidden meaning to his words. He wasn’t making excuses and it was truly just the worst possible time to bring a baby into the world. But from the way your face had fallen, Aemond cursed himself to dragonfire for speaking as he had. 

“It is difficult,” Alicent sighed. “And I hate to burden the both of you. But if you have not yet come to be with child and it continues like this, I am afraid we will have to look to other options. You may be the second son, Aemond, but we still need the security of your heir.”

Alicent didn’t mean to be insensitive in reminding Aemond of his standing. She knew he was ambitious and being born second will forever torment him. But she was never good at weaving her affection for her children into her words. 

“Other options?” you asked. Instantly, from the pitiful look that Alicent gave you, you wished you had stayed silent. 

Somehow, Aemond hadn’t thought about that. He waited for Alicent to respond. 

You could see the way that your mother-in-law looked at you. With pity and an unspoken apology. She had spoken to you only two nights prior yet it felt like the conversation had never happened. Not with how she silenced any talk of Alys within the walls of the Keep and not with how she had all but avoided you ever since. 

It was easy for them to disregard everyone else. Those who were not born being given and served. You were the daughter of a lowly lord and there was no peasantry in your childhood but it was nothing compared to how pretentious and entitled the lords and ladies of the court could be. You supposed it was only a matter of time before they noticed the weakness your marriage had become for you and pounced upon it at first chance. 

Aegon, who had sauntered into the tea room with heavy steps, sat down in the chair beside you. He grinned at the suffocating tension. “Before anyone complains of my tardiness, I apologise for it. A… restless night lends me to later mornings. You would understand brother, had you been tending to your wife as your duties would call for.”

A hum and a glare was all Aemond had for his brother. It was pointless that Aegon would even be present for the makeshift Council meeting that this had become. 

Ignoring Aegon further than the slight bow of your head in greeting, you faced the Queen without letting your head drop. “What do you mean by other options, Your Grace?”

There was nothing that could have made it easier for Alicent to say it but she reached out and squeezed Aemond’s bicep in an attempt to comfort him through the ultimatum she was giving him. 

“There are grounds to annul the marriage,” Alicent was almost whispering. “Since you have not yet come to be with child. And word that your marriage was never consummated has been travelling through the halls.”

A lie. Your marriage had most definitely been consummated but you assumed that should the King wish it, it would be as easy as his signature and his word to have everyone convinced. “You’ll have me cast out?”

Aemond was stiff as he shook his head. A surprise to you; you figured it would have made sense for him to take his out where it was presented to him. But instead, when you finally met his eye, he was glowing with a quiet anger. 

“Absolutely not,” he grunted. “We will try for a child. In any circumstances, I will not have my marriage annulled. I will not dishonour my wife in entertaining such a suggestion, mother.”

As if he hadn’t already dishonoured his wife. You wanted to scratch him for saying that but he had taken a stand for you and you had to appreciate that for what it was. 

Aegon snickered from his seat beside you. “There are other ladies who may bare you a child with more ease, brother.”

“I wish to do it,” you muttered, barely giving Aegon more than a sideways glance before you focused your attention on Aemond. He was not pleased, that much was obvious. “We will try–I wish to have a child.”

Laughter from the right side of you, loud and obnoxious. “With a husband who is repulsed by you? There are many Lords who–”

Aemond stood, one hand instinctively moving to rest on the handle of the dagger strapped to his side and the other tightly balled into a fist. He wouldn’t use the weapon but it was a natural response for him to rest his hand there. Risking a glance your way, Aemond felt nauseous at the fallen look on your face. “Enough, Aegon. Mind your tongue.”

Alicent looked dejected, her eyes flitting between her sons before returning to you. “It must be this way. If your body cannot take to pregnancy, then we must find someo–”

“And if it is me? If it is my body that fails to create a child even if you force another wife upon me?” Aemond turned to you, scowling when Aegon rested a comforting hand on your back. You gently shifted so that he wasn’t touching you.

“It is not you.” 

A deep frown and a glance at the walls was enough to know Aemond had shared in your thoughts. It was most definitely him - just not in the way he was making it seem. It was Aemond who had not sought out your intimacy enough to give your womb the chance to bear fruit in the first place. 

“We cannot know that for sure, mother.”

“Well,” Aegon ignored the pleading look that his mother sent him. “If your seed could take with Alys Rivers then you are surely not the problem, Aemond.”

In the silence you could hear Aemond draw in a long breath. He looked to you first, seemingly as shocked as you were in that moment, shaking his head when you straightened in your seat. There was a panic in his eye, a pink flush on his cheek as he swallowed his nerves. 

The room felt a little like it was spinning, and an emptiness grew as you took a moment to understand Aegon’s words. When the King placed a hand daringly on your leg as if he were comforting you, you didn’t even think before pushing it away. You looked to Aemond, who watched you blink away an onslaught of tears but you refused to drop your head, no matter the shame and humiliation that prickled under your skin. 

There was a waver in your voice when you spoke, forcing the words past the lump in your throat. “She is with child?”

“It is not possible,” Aemond was quick to respond. “I did not-we did not-”

“You didn’t fuck her, brother?” If he weren’t the King, Aegon worried Aemond would have murdered him. “Because that is not what I have heard.”

Alicent pinched at the bridge of her nose, grimacing at the vulgarity with which he freely spoke. “Leave, Aegon.”

He protested meagerly before a sharp look from the Dowager Queen had him sulking his way out of the room. You watched him leave, slightly perturbed at the way he was provoking Aemond, rubbing it in his face (and by extension, yours) that he had enjoyed the strain in your marriage without having to speak it. That he had enjoyed you because of Aemond’s shortfalls.

“She cannot be with child,” Aemond took his brother’s empty seat, placing his hand on your arm, holding you almost desperately. “And if she is then it is not mine. I have not laid with her in such a way.”

When you pulled away from him, you noticed him visibly shrink back. He knew you would not believe his truth but he needed you to. The mistakes had been made, and Aemond would undo them if he could. Only, there was no changing things now. And he would carry the burden of his adultery until his last breath but he would find a way to give you all the stars in the sky and all the cherries that blossomed if it meant you would give him another chance.

“Alys is no longer carrying a child,” Alicent clarified. “The servants spoke of her pregnancy. Before your marriage existed and before she had first returned to Harrenhal. She spoke of the child being yours but it did not survive in her womb.”

Before your marriage existed. 

It still left a bitter taste in your mouth. “Does she remain at the Red Keep?”

“She is in the servants quarters,” Aemond answers, carefully. “I will send her away. It should bring you some peace.”

Nodding silently, you ignored how certain he was of her whereabouts and returned your attention to Alicent as she focused on her son with a pitiful look. You knew little about Aemond but you knew that if he understood her pity, he would hate it. “We will do our best, Your Grace.”

Awkwardly, Alicent stood and collected herself. “I have also arranged for the servants to shift your things to Aemond’s chambers. Perhaps it may help to stay closer to one another.”

Aemond grimaced. Had it really come down to his mother having to take such actions? He felt sick. If he had known the option was there, he would have arranged for it himself. The look on your face, however, told him you wouldn’t have accepted it. But you couldn’t argue with Alicent. Instead, you let out a breath and nodded with a smile that barely reached your cheeks. 

The evening came by quickly. You had reluctantly been sorting through your belongings as they were shifted, helping the serving staff to place your things without disturbing Aemond’s too much. 

A feast to welcome the Lord Pennrose, whom you had never even heard of, was being set as you organised your dresses, fitting them into the wardrobe that had been moved to sit beside Aemond’s. The maids who had been tasked to do so were hesitant to let you help but you had insisted that anything was better than spending the time listening to tiresome Ladies drone on about gossip and pester you about your personal affairs.  The task was something that helped clear your mind and keep you distracted from the worry in your chest at the thought of the Queen’s kindly worded threat.

This was all you had. And if your marriage were to be annulled, it would be the end of not only your dignity but your chances at a secure life. 

Your stomach had been churning without break since you had understood the extent of Alys and Aemond’s past relationship. And while she had been pregnant with his child before you had even met Aemond, it filled you with a sorrow you could not explain. A jealousy for she had been carrying his child, as you were chastised for being unable to do. It was all the more difficult knowing the child had not made it through to birth, something you were ashamed to admit a small part of you was relieved at. 

You willed that part of you away, instead focusing on the fact that it was not you who had failed to do your duty. But it was your husband, who had refused to give you a fair chance to even try.

A knock at the door and Ser Tunsley had entered to inform you of the King’s presence. You sighed. Aegon was forever trouble and you were of half a mind to think that you had only encouraged his flame of indecency and immaturity by letting him into your mouth. 

He was brazen, to continue seeking you out after Aemond’s wrath had left him clutching his stones and waddling for days. 

Aegon let out a whistle, his eyes running over the expanse of the room, lingering on the empty chests that had been used to carry your garments into Aemond’s chambers. “My brother is an imbecile. If it takes instruction for him to let such a comely wife into his bed then he is truly senseless.”

“Why are you here, Aegon? We are unaccompanied.”

“I’m quite sure that if you were my wife,” he grinned, coming to stand directly in front of where you sat perched on the edge of the bed. Aegon let the backs of his fingers glide across your cheek, chuckling when you pushed his hand away with a glare. “You would be kept full with my seed. No matter. Should Aemond’s not take, mine would suffice.”

Swallowing thickly, you shifted so that your back was facing him. From where you had sat, your face was almost in line with his pelvis and you wondered if Aegon truly believed you would indulge him in such a way once more. “Do you not have responsibilities to tend to, my King?”

“No one would be any wiser,” he ignored your question. “Silver-haired, violet-eyed babes. Not even Aemond would know.”

“Do not be ridiculous, Your Grace. I would be more of a sinner in the eyes of the Seven,” you reasoned. “And I do not wish to–”

With a laugh, Aegon fell backwards onto Aemond’s bed. The mattress dipped under your leg from his weight. He reached out, pulling at your arm and grunting when you refused to move. “That is not how you felt when you let me enjoy that pretty little mouth of yours.”

“It was a mistake.” Feeling sick, you stood abruptly. “If you would take your leave, my King, perhaps I may rest before tonight’s feast.”

“Lies.”

“My husband will not be pleased to know that you are here and we are alone-”

“No, he would not be pleased.” Aegon rolled his eyes. “I have paid the price for that once already.”

Provocation came naturally to Aegon. In fact, you were half convinced that he revelled in it. Truthfully, he was well aware of how he would trigger Aemond’s anger. But it was so fun for Aegon to push and push, knowing that his brother could not subject him to anything of consequence merely because of the crown that sat atop his head. 

Somehow, Aegon had moved so swiftly that you had barely noticed until he was standing in front of you. There was a perpetual mischief in his eyes and a boyish lust that had you stepping back, only to fall onto the bed once again. He bent forward, resting his hands on the mattress, fists curling around the linens that were at either side of you. 

You gasped. “Do not.”

His breath reeked of wine. It wasn’t surprising. Aegon glanced over his shoulder, looking to the door before his face fell to the space beside yours. His lips ghosted over your cheek, as if he were choosing not to press them to your skin and you moved to push him away, releasing a relieved sigh when Aegon grunted and stumbled away. 

“I see,” he straightened with a toothy grin that almost made you feel sick. “You have regained your loyalty to your husband. A shame-”

The sound of the door shutting interrupted Aegon before he could finish his sentence. Your heart dropped and when your gaze met your husband’s eye from where you sat, dishevelled and hardly looking the part of innocence, you shook your head quietly, hoping he would understand. Aemond’s jaw ticked in response and he faced Aegon, squaring his shoulders and letting his hand rest on the dagger in a wordless threat. 

He had entered so silently that neither of you had noticed his presence. Aegon cleared his throat, jutting his chin upwards. “Not to worry, dear brother. I have not defiled your wife agai–”

“Get out, Aegon.” Aemond was eerily composed but the challenge in his stance gave away his anger. “There are Lords of the Council looking for their King.”

With a huff, Aegon stalked towards where the Prince stood. “I was merely offering a favour should you fail her once more. A Targaryen heir is a Targaryen heir regardless of whom it came from, no?”

It turned Aemond’s stomach. He’d had enough of these games but Aegon, despite how Aemond had just seen you refuse him, wouldn’t relent in his chase for Aemond’s humiliation. Forever taunted by his brother to no end, he wondered just how he could excuse himself for cutting Aegon’s tongue from him. Or even his cock, as Aemond had already considered such a punishment the last time he had caught Aegon alone with you.

Aemond was ashamed to admit that a part of him feared you would take Aegon for what he was offering. In the way you had turned to Aegon to satiate your desires when he was too much of an arrogant fool to push aside his ego. He had no right to hold any anger at you; not when he had first done the same to you. But it ate him up from the inside out and Aemond was certain he would not have peace from it any time soon.

Narrowing his eye, Aemond’s hand flew out to grab the collar of Aegon’s tunic. He hissed out his words, his anger seeping through his threat. “You will not bother my wife anymore, Aegon. Or you will bleed for it. Do you understand?”

“I could have you whipped for threatening me. Or worse.”

Aemond was unphased. “Do you understand?”

His calm, stoic resolve was transparent and Aegon was of enough sense to understand that it only made Aemond far deadlier. So with a grunt of acknowledgment, Aegon jerked away and nodded, barely throwing you a sideways glance before he was gone. 

When the two of you were left alone, Aemond let out a long breath, moving to take a seat beside you. His shoulders were taught and you noticed the stiffness with which he moved, betraying the emotions he was so accustomed to keeping under a tight lid.

“He is an idiot,” you murmured. “A witless fool.”

Your husband let out what sounded almost like a laugh. “I cannot argue with that. Are you alright?”

A storm of guilt and disgust waged in your stomach. The idea of your tryst with Aegon was unnerving and you wondered where your repugnance was for the King only one week ago. He was a bully, a cad and he had little shame in how he behaved with you. 

“I am fine,” you answered. The two of you sat at the edge of his bed, facing forward. Husband and wife, shoulder to shoulder but still somehow worlds apart. “But it is bothering you. Nothing untoward happened. He only spoke with me.”

It was an invasion of your space. And it was a bit frightening the way that Aegon had no regard for the boundaries of your privacy nor the boundaries of decency and honour. But it would only anger Aemond more to tell him of this. And you were sure that Aegon would back off under both his brother’s threat and your rejection.

Alys and her lost child had plagued your mind since you had left the tea room. And when you looked at Aemond, you can see it had done the same to him. But when Aemond looked at you, he was upset and he was insecure and you could see it all in the way he locked himself up and gave you a simple nod. 

A pang of concern had you hesitantly reaching a hand for his. “I know there is distance between us. But I meant it when I said that there would be no more of those games. If that is what bothers you.”

When you finally turned to really see him, to take in the colour of his eye that reminded you of the violets that bloomed in the gardens back home. Aemond was a master of hiding himself away behind masks but he let his distress seep through the cracks, his eye holding thousands of unspoken apologies and fears. 

Ten seconds must have passed as you simply tried to make sense of what you were seeing, to figure him out. Because Aemond may always know exactly what to say when faced by Lords and Ladies of title about matters of politics and philosophy but he was always clueless as to how to look at you and speak the truth of what he wishes you knew. 

It was all inside of him. The way Aemond’s heart had pounded so hard when he had first met you that it terrified him into seclusion, or the way he failed to keep protecting himself from the threat he became to himself because of how he craved affection. 

At first it was easy to ignore, when Aemond refused to spend any longer by your side than appearances required of him. When he came to your bed, forcing himself not to enjoy you as his beautiful, tempting wife while he spilled inside you as was required of him. Or when he wished to show you all the ways your body could fall apart only to be pieced back together by him and nobody else but bit his tongue and resisted the urge instead. 

But there came an almost unrecognisable point when Aemond just could not do it anymore. Not when you had decided that you needed more from him and had shown him how you wanted him. Only for him to panic and take it as a challenge, bring Alys back to frighten you away and tempt you even more. 

Control was all Aemond had known over his own emotions and even those of the people around him who were becoming easier for him to manipulate how he pleased. But it was slipping through his fingers and when Aemond was alone at night, nothing other than his own hand and imagination, his mind was entirely under your control and you had no clue of it. 

Feeling scared and out of his depth was nothing new to Aemond. But this was different. This time, he couldn’t escape it and in trying so hard to run away from it, he had only created a cesspool of fucked up mistakes for which the consequences were all too much for him to handle. 

The biggest problem of them all was that Aemond wanted to explain. He wanted to tell you that for you, there was a fire inside him that he once wished to quell but he no longer wanted to put it out. A flame that Aemond had become desperate to be consumed by. And that he could see you were burning in the same way for him and he wanted to protect that blaze so that it would continue to grow until it consumed you too. 

Aemond didn’t know how to tell you. He didn’t know how to make you understand. 

He didn’t know how to make you realise that he was sorry. That he would do whatever it took to gain back your affection; if he ever had it to begin with. 

If it meant sharing all of himself with you, Aemond would learn how to do it. If it meant having you by his side at every hour of the day and every hour of the night, Aemond would do it. If it meant giving you a child, Aemond would give you many. If it meant giving you whatever you wished to wear or to eat, Aemond would dress you and feed you with his own hands. If it meant having Alys dead, Aemond would hold the dagger himself. 

“I regret all the pain and humiliation I have caused you,” he murmured. Aemond brought his hand to your cheek, dropping to kneel at your lap, grazing the knuckles of his fingers across your soft skin. “I would change everything if I could. I regret it.”

Aemond could no longer hide behind all the confidence, all the teasing and the feigned indifference. But he didn’t know why the words were so painful. The truth lay heavy at the end of his tongue but his lips wouldn’t let it pass. 

I am sorry. 

You shivered under his gentle touch. “If you are sorry, you must say it. And you must mean it. There is much pain to overcome.”

There was a flash of something untold in his expression. The way Aemond looked at you, as if he were begging you to understand that it was so difficult for him to give in, had you reaching for him, sliding down so that you could be level with him. You couldn’t have resisted the unexplainable force that pulled you to your husband, as if you would choke and suffocate on the feelings that balled up in your throat if you were not close to him.

Hands cradling his face, your fingertips brushed against the strap of his eyepatch. Aemond’s lips parted in a silent gasp, growing rigid under your touch and when you looked at him, asking him without saying the words, he knew he needed to let you see him for how he is. Honestly and willingly. So Aemond nodded, eyebrows furrowed as his good eye gently shut. 

“It is more than just the pressure to create an heir. I want to put this agony behind us Aemond,” you said, leaning forward so that your forehead was pressed against his. Each exhale of Aemond’s breath mixed with yours, warm and inviting as you held him softly. “I want to be the only one for you. I want us to be secure. I want us to have a family. I want you to love me–to try and love me at the very least. But you need to let me know if you are truly sorry so that I may find it within myself to forgive you.”

Rich, deep blue caught the light of the lamps, glimmering when you removed the leather that covered the sapphire in place of an eye. It was a beautiful shade and it was pretty against the tone of his skin and the silver of his hair. You had seen it from afar by accident but here, Aemond was closer to you than he had ever been. Vulnerable and honest, his heart aching just as yours did. The sharp inhale and quiver of his lip sent a sharp sadness to your gut. 

Aemond’s moved ever so slightly against your own with his heavy breaths. You let your fingers trace the bottom of his scar, a small, hesitant smile finding your lips as you spoke. “You are beautiful Aemond. Truly. You never need to hide your true self from me.”

Words that meant more than just what they were. 

“I am-” Aemond’s words caught and he swallowed as he opened his eye to hold your gaze. “I am sorry, my love.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, shuddering as he gently nudged forward, his lips so close to yours that you could feel an anticipatory tickle. “I am sorry too. We can work on forgiving each other together.”

“You never needed my forgiveness,” Aemond’s lips touched yours so lightly it may well have been a breeze from the open window. “I am yours in every which way, even in your pain and regret. In my own, as well. I can only show you how I will treasure you as I should have from the moment I first kissed your knuckles. And if it takes a lifetime to earn your forgiveness then so be it.”

A rush of heat and your lips finally met. For the first time since your wedding, sharing air and reaching to be closer, closer. Aemond’s kiss was heavy, his hands reaching for your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, as if he intended for you to become one with his body. You were dizzied by the passion that he showed you, just from his lips upon yours, greedy and grateful and holding a message that was clearer than it could ever be in spoken word. 

Clutching at the back of your dress, Aemond’s hands were warm and heavy wherever he touched. You needed more of it, whimpering delicately when his lips pulled back, only to move to the crevice of your neck, leaving hot kisses on your skin that had you shuddering from the lingering sensation. 

Groaning, Aemond pulled back only as far as necessary to respond to the knock at the door, pulling you up swiftly and running a tender hand across your hair to put it back in place. You were flustered, chest heaving and eyes wide, looking at him in a way that had Aemond’s blood rushing to his cock. Gods, you were beautiful like this and he thought of how he wished to see this form of you for the rest of his life. 

It was your maids at the door, blushing profusely as they reminded you of the feast that they had returned to prepare you for. You sighed, stepping away from your husband, who had turned swiftly to place his eyepatch back on. Aemond’s grin didn’t falter when he stepped away to give you some privacy and you thought briefly about how his smile may be your favourite sight in the world. 

Relief and excitement and a little bit of dread overcame you. It would not be an easy road ahead, but you realised that if you both tried then perhaps this was a step towards a new direction. One in which you could feel the passion and the possibility of love simmering underneath the healing you had left to do. At least now, you hoped, you would have your husband by your side.

tagging: @padfooteyes @thedyingwriter @mamawiggers1980 @queenofshinigamis @ewanmitchellfanatic @nurtargaryen @happinessinthebeing

[fanaticf1fan]

I - Back To The Past

A/N Hello, this is my first fanfiction. please be welcome to give any criticism to help me make my fanfiction better. :)

Also, this fanfiction ay not follow IRL timelines and Rules for the Formula series franchise.

Emilia Schumacher was born to Michael and Corinna Schumacher February 2006, from the moment she was born Emilia had been the apple of her family’s eyes. From the moment she was born the restlessness and need for adventure she undoubtedly inherited from her father. From a young age she was constantly following her older brother Mick around and bonding with her older sister Gina.

She was fortunate to spend a lot of time with her father during his brief, temporary retirement from 2006-2010. Due to this she had stuck herself to her father like glue, expressing her constant want to be exactly like him in any way she could.from a very young age she was set to follow in his footsteps, just like her brother.

When her father returned to racing in 2010 with Mercedes, Emilia was overwhelmed by new people surrounding her, her family now expanding into a grid full of fun uncles and aunts.

When she started Karting at 5 years old, she noticed a few oddities around the track. The first was the lack of other girls there, to the point she seemed to be the only one on the track. The second was the constant whispers and glances that other people had sent her and her family's way. The constant, nagging whispers of her peers doubted that loomed over shoulder everywhere she turned. Her father had sat her down one day and explained that she shouldn't listen to them after he found her crying one day after a meet, huddled under the table tucked into a ball.

“Don't listen to them Shatz, you are my daughter, I will be forever proud of you for whatever you accomplish, don't let anyone make you think any differently.”

When she was 7 her life was thrown into chaos, her father as she knew him was no longer with her or her siblings, he was now just an empty corpse-like shape, lying in a hospital bed relying on machines for life. She spent her 8th Birthday in the hospital sitting around his bed with her family, it had been the first birthday that her father hadn't gently held her as she woke up. There were no birthday pancakes or special songs this year. Just the sound of beeps, the smell of disinfectant and the feel of tears streaming down her face.

A few weeks after her birthday, she started karting again, now under the direct guidance and mentoring of one of father’s close friends, Sebastian Vettel. The two had began getting close after her father rejoined formula 1 with mercedes. He became an older brother figure to her and became her crutch when her father got injured.

She had achieved multiple victories under the mentoring of Sebastian, yet every time she stood on that ever important top step, trophy in her arms, her heart yearned for the one man she had been missing for months. Sebastian of course tried to help heal that hole in her heart, taking over quite a bit of the responsibility over her and her brother while they both competed. Mick and her had formed an inseparable bond, leaning on one another for support. 

Her father had been released from his prison coma in June 2014. She had expected her life to return to normal, however as she looked upon her father, she almost didn't recognise him. He was nothing like the person he was before, their relationship wasn't the same. This broke her heart so bad she decided to simply sink into the shadows of her childhood home.

She had risen through the ranks quickly, she was competing in levels above her age, spending most of her free time practising her skills to help her on the track. She won many races which angered many people but she didn't care. She was fueled with the memory of her father and what they used to be like, her biggest wish was to be just like him, and she was going to ensure she would get there.

By the time she had reached F4, she had gathered quite the ruckus in the media and on the circuit, she had multiple karting championships and wins and the number was only increasing, she had become a number one competitor for many of her fellow races. In 2021, after a well earned win in F4, she was approached by one of her father’s previous teammates, Nico Rosberg. He had kept in contact since the accident but the two hadn't spoken in a while. 

After a few months, Nico became another mentor for the girl, working well with Sebastian to help the girl progress and keep her managed. While Sebastian had stayed as her primary mentor, Nico took the role of her manager, organising deals and sponsors to ensure the girl only raced with the best of the best with the goal of helping her reach her life goal.

In 2022, she entered F3, winning the championship before being almost snatched up by F2 team Prema Racing the next year. Her brother had graduated the team two years prior before going into endurance racing, dominating the field. She had become good friends with her F2 teammate Oliver Bearman. She had begun helping him any way she could, attempting to meteor him the way she had been mentored for the past years.

She was ready to make her dream her reality, and she was so close to the first step in the next stage.

[rosesofenvy]

How Far We’ve Come - Music Theory Analysis

[Disclaimer: I went to university for music as a violin primary and have the most confidence with classical strings. I passed my piano proficiency courses, but that is the extent of my piano knowledge. It has been a few years since I have done an in-depth composition analysis of any piece, let alone transcribing a piece by ear and then analyzing it. Music theory has never been my strong suit! Please excuse any mistakes in notation, and any inaccuracies in my transcription or analysis. I did my best and this was purely for fun *shaky thumbs up*]

----------------------

'How Far We’ve Come' by Harlan Guthrie is a duet between Grand Piano and Cello. This piece opens with solo piano, either in a pickup measure or in a single measure of 2/4 before transitioning to 4/4 time in measure 2. Throughout its entirety there are many moments of rubato which have been notated as ritardando and a subsequent a tempo. To most accurately follow the phrasing, listening to the recording is highly recommended.

This piece begins in the key of F#M or the enharmonic spelling of GbM. Although unpleasant to look at with either 6 sharps or 6 flats, depending on which spelling is followed, this key is often used by composers to invoke emotions of a conquest story, evoking relief, triumph, victory, and clarity. As we know from our story in Malevolent so far, this meaning is not lost on us. I have chosen to keep this piece as F#M since that is how I originally began transcribing it. I have also attached the GbM version at the end of the post, however all the analysis follows F#M spelling.

The lone piano begins on the third of our I chord with a hesitant, heavily rubato 8th note pickup into measure 1. The transition from measure to measure in this first phrase gains little confidence, especially with the transition from the pickup into m. 1 as this is the only instance in the piece where the set of 8th notes in the left hand do not lend itself into the next right hand pickup (four 8th notes instead of five). Each lead-in to the downbeat is stretched, pedal held throughout the measure to allow the sound to linger. Each press of the keys is deliberate, yet maintains a mezzo dynamic as the sound fades. m.2 is introduced with a vi chord, creating a hint of unease before resolving in m.3 to a IV(add7). We end our first phrase with a half cadence to a V chord, leading into a V7 as our next phrase begins with a B. 

As we enter our second phrase it is similar to our first with  m.5 beginning with a I chord, m.6 expands our vi chord compared to its first iteration, resulting in a more confident feel as we continue into m.7 with yet another expansion to our IV(add7). M.8 ends this phrase as we reach another half cadence V chord almost V7. 

Beginning m.9 the piece has a few possible paths of analysis, we arrive on a vi chord if we are remaining in F#M, which unlike our other initial starting phrases this throws us into a melancholic mood. There is a possibility of modulation to the relative minor (D#m), however I believe it remains in F#M and utilizes inversions of our chords and will continue with this assumption for the next phrase.

Remaining in F#M, m.10 could be a vi(4/2) inversion, or a I(6/4) inversion. Because Measure 11 moves to a ii chord, I believe it makes more harmonic sense for m.10 to be a vi(4/2) inversion as moving from a I(6/4) - ii is less common than a vi(6/4) to a ii. 

M.11 into m.12 is a fascinating progression. We have a V with the (g) in m.11, then we are descending to a Dnat, A#, E# progression. The Dnat is what has thrown me off the most, as it is a minor chord of sorts but doesn’t exist within our key of F#M, or relative D#m. The E# A# progression I believe is a I(4/2) chord, as it is leading us back into the next phrase. Even spelling enharmonically as a A#, Cx, E# chord it does not naturally occur within our existing key. After many hours of checking theory textbooks, writing out possible modulations, and playthroughs of the chords, I’m choosing to leave this as a V-I(4/2) progression and accepting my loss that I do not know what chord exists in the downbeat of m.12. However, I can say that resolving to something that is not a root tonic further creates this sense of melancholy.

Bringing us to our next phrase at m.13, similar to our previous phrase a vi chord but instead of resolving to an A# it resolves to the root D#. M.14 is identical to m.10 with the exception of the lower octave A#3 before resolving in m.15 to a ii chord until the fourth beat of the measure which leads us into measure 16 - resolving to a IV-V half cadence by the end of the measure. 

Reaching m.18 we are returning to our original phrase. This is where our cello enters for the duet, in which I have some observations about musicality first. As the piano is using a significant amount of pedal to sustain the sound, the cello utilizes a wide vibrato to create a warm sound. Notably, this doesn’t occur as significantly when entering with the lower notes. The cello is confident, encouraging the piano forward and maintaining a solid momentum even with the hesitance the piano has shown. 

M.18 we begin on a I chord, supported by the cello playing a low F# as the root. In the pause between phrases, it's as if you can feel the performers breathing together before they move to m.19, our vi(add7) chord. 

Measure 20 I have quite a bit to talk about. Stacked chord analysis is not my forte (pun intended). From what I could hear, there is a B1, F#2, B2, F#3 in the cello, while the piano continues with a IV(add7) chord. B1 is impossible to play on a cello with traditional tuning, in order to achieve this note they would have to tune their lowest string - their C string - down a half step. The chord B1/F#2/B2/F#3 is also impossible to play on a single instrument. If one cello tuned their C down to a B, then they could feasibly play the bottom chord, possibly the two B’s in octaves. It is possible for a cellist to play an F#/B/F# chord, however it would be uncomfortable and not result in a good tonality with it being a triple stop - but, the second cello could split the chord and play a different combination (F#2,B2 or B2,F#) with success. Other solutions to this could be having a double bass play the pedal B, as it would be within their ability on and remain in the correct octave, or having the piano cover the pedal B. This massive chord then resolves simply to a half cadence V chord in measure 21. 

Entering our last section, m.22, we return to a phrase similar to the beginning, with a confident I chord. With each measure we go to a more traditional chord progression to a V-IV-V in measures 23, 24, and 25 respectively. In an exciting turn of events, we land on a I chord in our final measure. The first PAC in the entire piece, and yet, it doesn’t sound as if the piece is finished. Throughout its entirety, all the phrases have been a form of inauthentic cadence. We end on a Perfect Authentic Cadence, a V-I, it should sound resolved. And yet, it continues on. The notes ring, and if left on repeat (as I have done for this analysis), it makes sense for it to continue. 

In conclusion, I believe this duet is in an general AABBAA format, with A being Major key tonality and B encompassing a minor key tonality. This piece is a conversation, it’s full of emotion and hesitance and is a fantastic representation of everything we’ve seen Arthur and John go through so far in the podcast. I can’t help but think of “I’ve come so far…and I have miles to go before I sleep” with this piece as a reflection of that. This composition is saying “Look, see how far we’ve come, what we’ve done to get here. How we’ve changed and grown.” All this to say, it’s an amazing story and an amazing composition. If you made it this far, I’m glad you came along in this musical journey with me and feel free to add anything I may have missed (or possibly mistaken). 

[devilmen-collector]

Origin of the names of the angels

Since I have done a post on the origin of the names of the seven kingdoms of Hell, may as well do the origin of the names of the angels.

Warning, this post contains religious content. If you are not comfortable, please ignore this.

Now let's go on with our trivia post

Seraphim

Now I just want to make a distinction. The Seraphim irl are called "the Archangels", but that doesn't mean they belong to the rank of archangel, the second-to-lowest rank, it only means they are the leaders and chieftains of all the angels, including other Seraphim.

Also, Michael, Gabriel and Raphael are the only named angels in the Bible.

Michael

"Michael" means "Who is like unto God?" in Hebrew. In the Bible, Michael is described as "the great prince, who standeth for the children of thy people" (Daniel 12:1), the angel who disputed with the devil over the remains of Moses (Epistle of St. Jude verse 9), the leader of the heavenly army fighting against the dragon (Revelation 12:7).

In the Christian tradition, Michael is the leader of God's army fighting against Satan, helper of the faithful Christians at the moment of death, champion of God's people, protector of the Jews under of the Old Testament, and of God's Holy Church. He is also the patron of many chivalric order of knights.

Michael, having led the battle against Lucifer, is the greatest of all angels, no angel could surpass him in honor and glory.

The feast day of St. Michael in Western Christianity is held on September 29, commemorating the dedication of first church built in his honor in Western Europe. In Eastern Christianity, St. Michael and all angels have their commom feast day on the 8th of November.

Gabriel

"Gabriel" means "strength of God". In the Bible, he appears as the messenger of God who delivers messages of utmost importance: he tells the Prophet Daniel two prophecies concerning the successive empires and the time elapsing before the coming of Christ (Daniel chapter 8 & 9), he appears before Zachary and foretells that his son will be the Precursor of the Lord (Luke 1:5-25), and most importantly Gabriel announces to the Virgin Mary the Incarnation of the God the Son and that she is going to become the Mother of God (Luke 1:26-38). According to tradition, Gabriel was also the angel who appeared in St. Joseph's dream (Matthew 1:18-25; 2: 13-23), and also the angel who consoled Jesus (Luke 22:43). Thus, Gabriel is the Archangel of Incarnation and Consolation.

Some traditions have Gabriel as the angel of mercy while Michael is the angel of justice. Some others have it vice versa.

St. Gabriel's feast day, according to an old tradition, is on the 24th of March, the day before the feast of Annunciation.

Raphael

"Raphael" means "God has healed". The third Archangel appears only in the book of Tobit, in which he helps the young Tobias during his journey, ultimately aiding the young man heal his father's blindness and helping him find a good spouse. Therefore, Raphael is invoked as the angel of Healing and the Patron of finding a good partner for marriage.

Raphael was also the angel who revealed that there are seven Archangels. "For I am the angel Raphael, one of the seven, who stand before the Lord" (Tobit 12:15).

The feast day of St. Raphael, in old tradition, is on the 24th of October.

Cherubim

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel aren't found in Sacred Scripture, but only in the tradition of Eastern Orthodox Church.

For these three angels, I have already made a post about it. I'll link it here for you guys.

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel: Origin of the names

Zadkiel

Zadkiel does not appear in the Bible, although some identify him as the unnamed Angel of the Lord who prevents Abraham from sacrificing his son during the time that God tested Abraham (Genesis 22:1-18). It's the reason why if a church (usually an Anglican church) does depict Zadkiel in its iconography, he's depicted as holding a dagger, for Abraham intended to use a dagger to sacrifice his son.

We will skip over Thrones (or Ophanim), Dominions, Virtues and Powers because there is currently no angel of those choirs in-game yet.

Principalities

Michelleel

"Michelleel" is a name that PrettyBusy completely made up themselves. No angel is known with the name Micheleel. Micheleel is the combination of Michael written in another way "Michelle" and the suffix "el", which means "God".

Archangels

Rashiel, Armisael and Zeruel

Just like with Michelleel, these three Archangels have made up names by PrettyBusy.

Angels

Samael

"Samael" means "Venom/Poison of God". He exists only in Judaism's Talmudic lore. Sometimes he is considered a fallen angel, with some people think he's Satan, while other times he is considered the angel with destructive duties.

[15writingducks]

The Manor Who's Maids Are Ghost C1

Thanks to @snugglesquiggle For inspo with their fic, Hostile Takeover!

The rain pattered around the graveyard.

Rain was a near constant.

But life wasn’t.

A sharp gasp cut through the marching of the drops, heavy breathing followed with movement.

The graveyard watched from its many eyes, eyes that belonged to drones long gone. There was no one to help them escape, the little girl was long gone.

But that wouldn’t stop Uzi.

Uzi just layed there, processing everything that happened that seemed mere minutes ago.

D-did we win… where’s N? V? W-why can’t I TALK? I-I-I-I- The crunch of glass and flap of leathery wings echoed through, the guard was back.

Who’s here… Her violet eyes only had white, gray, and black around her vision with an uneven red overlay. The only piece of the outside was minimal. Like a small scratch. All that she could see out of it was a puddle, some tree root, chain-link fence, and grass.

Am… I dead? Then how am I alive… Well, I feel alive… But that alone doesn’t mean anything…

Her thoughts froze when she saw a drone's arm come down, the hand replaced by a claw.

Who are you… small chirps could be heard. Then the arm left in an instant, they had taken off. I should probably start a timer, see how long it takes them to come back….. And Uzi did just that.

Whomever it was, they take about 11 minutes. Best say it’s 7…

Uzi waited till they left for the 8th time, then 2 minutes, before trying to move.

The metal above her groaned and creaked when she pushed up. She didn’t notice it before, but something had punctured her chest, thankfully only getting her voicebox.

Uzi used her solver to support the pile above her, allowing her room to sit. 5 minutes left… get over the fence, then run… yep, best plan i got…

Uzi then recognized what was surrounding her: Corpses. Drone’s. I’m in a graveyard. So am I dead? 

Uzi pushed a body away, pulled herself out, then pushed it back in place. 2 minutes?! I’m really cutting it short… I have to go now! Uzi dashed to the fence, it was barely taller than her. She put her foot in one of the holes, her other foot swung over and made contact with another hole.

Uzi took a glance back, bodies Piled upon each other. The fence connected to a small shed, it could barely have two workers fit in there from what Uzi could judge.

She then dropped from her position on the fence, and looked the other way. It was a large forest, Filled with oaks, weeping willows, and other trees Uzi didn’t even know. The floor of it looked damp, puddles everywhere, hard to tell if it was grass or moss that covered the floor. A low and wispy fog trickled from the woods, it would barely reach the top of her socks.

Uzi dashed to it, it was the only thing that seemed relatively safe from whomever came. How much time is left-... 34 seconds…

Uzi panicked. GET-BEHIND-A-TREE-GET-BEHIND-A-TREE-GET-BEHIND-A-TREE-IT DOESN'T-MATTER-JUST-LIVE! Uzi ran, not daring to look behind herself.

She tripped. Face planting into a puddle. Uzi pushed herself up, her jacket and beanie drenched. She froze for a second, then ran again. Times up… they’ll be here soon…

Uzi kept running, flaps of leather seeping into the sound of the rain. Uzi ducked behind a tree, still standing.

Less than 3 seconds later, a blur of white and black passed her. Giggles surrounding it. Uzi booked it, going left from where the thing had passed her.

Uzi’s processors were going into overtime. Hide! Hide! Find a route! Find a route! She kept running,the fog grew taller and denser the farther she went in. Suddenly the blur from before tackled her right side. Their right claw held her head down along with blocking her view of them.

nononONONONONO! Uzi kicked her attacker in what would be considered the stomach. They recoiled from that, but was barely down for a seconded before jumping to their feet, snarling and hissing. She was a worker wearing a maid outfit, only her right hand was clawed with a yellow eye on top of it, she had the striking yellow eyes and armband that any D-drone would have. Her silver hair seemed somewhat messier than usual. 

Uzi froze as she looked at her attacker, then quickly ran again.

Uzi ran and ran and ran, turning whenever she could, until the attacking drone got caught in some of the branches of the trees. Taking this chance, she ran to a tree, and climbed it.

She waited and waited. The rain covered her.

—

After being so bored from waiting for the hunter, she climbed higher, she kept climbing, breaking through the blanket of leaves. She scanned the area, trees seemed to stretch everywhere, the only clearings being the graveyard and a building. 

There! A house! No, not a house, a mansion of sorts! Who would live all the way out here? Actually, where IS here?!

Uzi then saw her attacker, flying to and from the mansion and graveyard. So she gave up? Weird, seems unlike her… but i think that’s my best bet…

Uzi crawled down, and walked in the direction of the home. Careful of the vines, branches, roots, and puddles.

When she reached the tree line, she didn’t run out immediately, instead, she waited till she knew that the drone couldn’t see her.

Now! The drone landed onto the roof and was walking on it, still completing what they were doing. Uzi ran to the doors, it was less than a mile away. 

Uzi ran but then her core ran cold, the leather wings were getting louder, Uzi kept running. But the wings grew quiet. Uzi didn’t slow until she reached the porch.

It was somewhat simple, just an extrusion with 2 posts on the corners with lanterns on each and a roof. Uzi climbed up the stairs and went to the grand double doors, they were a nice deep brown with golden colored handles. She stepped closer to the door bell, the same gold color but a nice white button that had a warm glow to it, and pressed it.

Uzi heard the soft jingle of the bell, and then someone rushed to the door. It opened with a nice soft creak, and she saw the familiar yellow eyed worker drone in a butler’s suit, his sweet smile the same. Something is wrong…

Uzi tried to say his name, but only a sharp pain and garbled static emerged, she slightly freaked out at that.

“Whoa! Slow down! Don’t want to damage yourself more!” he joyfully said, voice still the same. “You're new here, yeah?” his tone softened. “We’ll get you cleaned up and a new uniform.”

Uzi slowed with his words, watching him carefully. Don’t you remember me? Uzi? Please..? She then picked up the flaps of wings nearby her, she moved smoothly out of the doorway, onto the outskirt of the porch.

The drone didn’t have enough time to adjust, and ran into the drone, knocking them both down with a surprised squeak.

[mixtape-racha]

the drug in me is you | choi beomgyu

words: 3.94k // warnings: rockstar!beomgyu x bandmate!reader, vocalist!beomgyu, bassist!reader, friends to lovers, angst, lots of plot, harboured crush, crying, l-bombs, confessions, emotionally intelligent but stunted beomgyu, mentioned jeongin and heeseung as band members, me not knowing how to end a fic lolz

everytime, without fail, when you came offstage after a gig, you’d be met by the grinning face of beomgyu bouncing around the green room. genuinely, every single time without fail. it became a routine, a reaction you expected. and it was so, so fucking endearing. the way his eyes would shine, running around thanking and congratulating all of the other band members and the backstage team. the way he preened under praise, the way he giggled when he got told he did well.

sometimes it confused you - how was that the same man who was on stage a mere 5 minutes ago, dark and seductive as he sang sweet words to harsh melodies, who had women throwing themselves at his feet for just a second glance? but at the end of it all, he was always your beomie. the same short and skinny kid who was paired with you for a project in 8th grade and you hadn’t been able to get rid of since. the same kid who held you through your first heartbreak, and held you even tighter as you sobbed at your first gig together. the same kid who told you he couldn’t be in a band without you, because there’s no one else he’d rather have beside him on stage, playing bass so beautifully.

yeah, he was your beomie, and nothing could change that. not even all the groupies begging for a moment alone with him, nor the constant shipping of him with random celebrities online. while you weren’t a couple, or even close, those who knew you knew that he would always be yours, and you would always be his.

until he wasn’t. until one of the groupies that had been following your band for a while managed to get beomgyu wrapped around her finger. they weren’t dating - by no means was beomgyu looking for a relationship with her, but he could’ve fooled you. your smoke sessions in the back of the tour bus after a show soon became non-existent, beomgyu opting to take his favorite groupie to a nearby hotel instead, only waltzing back to the bus at the last possible second before you needed to leave to head to your next venue.

for a while you pinned your annoyance down to his unprofessionalism, pissed off that he would put a random girl before the career you had both worked so hard for. but after a while, you began to realize it wasn’t about her at all. it was about you. you felt neglected by your best friend, someone you’d had by your side for so many years. and it stung, especially knowing how much you’d sacrificed for him over the years.

it all came to a head at the final show of your tour - the exceedingly impulsive flirting between all of the band members, the bottles of beer being drunk on stage giving you all that final confidence boost you needed. the screams of fans, the cheering as you finished your set and said your goodbyes. all four of you were ecstatic, but even the other members were sick of beomgyu’s constant abandonment given their reactions. 

“right, well, i guess you’re off for the night now, beom? we’re probably gonna go back to the bus and smoke anyway.” jeongin asked, face hard as he anticipated beomgyu’s reaction.

“actually,” beomgyu sneered, sick of everyone’s disapproval of his actions - it wasn’t like he was the only person in history to fuck a groupie. “was gonna take us all out for drinks, but fuck the lot of you.”

you were mad at beomgyu. you really were, and you shouldn’t fall back into his web so easily. but after knowing him so long, that’s exactly what you did, time and time again.

“i don’t really fancy smoking tonight, i’ll come find a bar with you, beomie.” you smiled, ignoring heeseung rolling his eyes in your peripheral vision. however, beomgyu looked elated, quickly pulling you into a half-hug.

“see? my girl’ll never let me down.”

god you hated the way your body reacted to that. but nonetheless, you wandered out of the venue with beomgyu, fixated on finding a bar nearby that wouldn’t be overrun with people who had left your gig earlier. that was the difficult part - because as much as you loved your fans, you didn’t want to be overrun with people when you were trying to have a chill night. you were real people too.

luckily, it wasn’t hard to find a quiet bar on the outskirts of the area surrounding the venue. you were quick to grab a stool near the bar, fluttering your eyelashes at beomgyu as you told him that if he really loved you, he’d buy you a drink. that was a routine with the pair of you - even though every single time, beomgyu was going to buy your drink anyway.

but this time it was slightly different. it was kind of awkward between the two of you. the first time in a few weeks you’d been alone, not having your best friend torn away from you by an over-excited groupie. and nothing could go your way, could it? because you’d barely started your second drink before lo-and-behold - your least favorite groupie wandered into the bar, eyes instantly fixated on beomgyu.

your heart hammered in your chest, anger overtaking you. had he arranged to meet her here? was he going to leave you to go and fuck her? well, not if you left first. pushing the stool back harshly, the scraping of the feet on the floor making beomgyu wince, you grabbed your bag, fumbling to shove a cigarette in your mouth.

“i’m going for a smoke. let me know when hanging out with me is more important than a cheap fuck.” you sneered, not giving him a moment to respond before you were stomping out of the bar. you knew you were probably being dramatic, but you were beyond caring in that moment.

why else would she be in that bar, of all the bars nearby? was it not enough when beomgyu had her in a new hotel room every night of the tour? was she convinced they were together now? or worse… were they actually together?

you just couldn’t believe the audacity of beomgyu! he hadn’t even followed you out to make sure you were okay, and that realization had you heading back in the direction of the tour bus, cigarette in hand. fuck beomgyu - you’d hang out with jeongin and heeseung instead. they were always fun to get high with - you could get a pizza and watch coraline, like last time you all got stoned together.

you hadn’t got further than twenty feet before you heard a call of your name, turning on your feet to see beomgyu running from the bar to catch up with you, calling out for you to wait. it stung, in all honesty, and you didn’t even want to hear him out. but you knew he wouldn’t give up until you had, so it was probably better to get it over with.

stamping your cigarette out, you folded your arms as he came to a halt in front of you, panting slightly.

“what the fuck was that about?” he wheezed, brows furrowed in confusion. “why are you leaving? we just got here! i don’t get why you’re in a shitty mood all of a sudden!”

you scoffed at his words, a sneer on your face. “aren’t you leaving someone behind, gyuie?” you spat out the nickname you’d heard the infamous groupie giggle at him so many times. “i’m sure she’s waiting for you to drag her to the nearest hotel. can’t fuck her on every tour stop and leave out the last one, can you?”

beomgyu’s face hardened at that, and you couldn’t believe the audacity he had to get annoyed at you.

“is that why you’re throwing a bitch fit? seriously, y/n, we all sleep with fans. i don’t get why its such a big deal— i didn’t complain when you brought that poser back to the tour bus last year!”

you were enraged at his tone. how dare he try and flip this on you? shaking your head at him, you took a step away, ready to leave.

“thats not the problem, gyu. the problem is that you’ve completely abandoned m- us. you’ve abandoned us all tour for some pussy you’ll forget in a month.”

“abandoned?!” he spluttered, your words catching him off-guard. “i haven’t abandoned anyone!”

“when was the last time you hung out with us after a show, beomgyu? the last time you sat with us and told us all we did a good job, that it was a good show and you enjoyed it? when was the last time you hung out with me?” you voice raised in pitch as your feelings came tumbling out. “i’m your best friend. at least i’m supposed to be! we haven’t hung out at all, and i miss it. i miss you. you’re neglecting me, and its not fair for me to put all the effort it. i can’t do it anymore!”

when you were met with stunned silence, you continued walking away, not wanting to see his response or hear his excuses. you just wanted to get back to the bus, sleep and go home in the morning. take a break. maybe go on holiday - spend some time with yourself. if beomgyu wasn’t willing to reciprocate your energy, maybe you weren’t supposed to be best friends for life after all.

you couldn’t help the way tears built in your eyes, beginning to roll down your face. after all these years, all it took was a girl to rip beomgyu away from you. not even a girlfriend, just a girl who he enjoyed keeping around for a few hours and then leaving to come running home. god… you were a mess. you shouldn’t be this upset about it. its not like you were in love with him.

oh… oh god.

you stopped in your tracks, heart thumping in your chest. was that the issue? were you harboring feelings towards beomgyu that you never wanted to admit to yourself? god, why did this have to be happening to you? it was why you’d go to the ends of the earth for him, why you supported all his dreams and bad decisions. why you would drop all your plans for him in a heartbeat. god, you were fucked.

you swore you’d never walked back to the bus faster, waving jeongin and heeseung off when they questioned you on where beomgyu was. you were fast to crawl into your bunk, plugging in your headphones as the other boys began discussing what they believed beomgyu was doing - or, who he was doing.

it was hard to keep your tears silent, but you’d be damned if you let them see you so upset, so you tried your hardest. you didn't know when you fell asleep, or when beomgyu got back to the bus, but you were too emotionally exhausted to care.

you weren’t sure when you fell asleep, or what time it was when you woke up. the bus had pulled into a service station for a rest stop, and you cringed as your joints cracked when you jumped out of your bunk. giving your manager a small wave, you rolled a cigarette, tucking a lighter into your pockets, and stepped off the bus into the sunrise.

“sleep good?”

you jumped, whirling around to see beomgyu perched on the floor next to the bus, rolling his own cigarette.

“guess so…” you mumbled, the lighter becoming more interesting by the second as you sparked up and took a much-needed drag of nicotine. it was hard to avoid beomgyu’s eyes, especially when they were boring into the side of your head, so you took the bait and perched on the floor next to him. “you sleep alright?”

he shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “decent. would’ve slept better if i knew why my favorite girl was mad at me, though.”

the words fell out of his mouth so easily it made you feel nauseous. god, what was wrong with you? suddenly the world felt too loud, too bright. your chest tightened as you shook your head at him. words seemed to fail you, so you opted to rest your head on his shoulder, arms wrapping around one of his.

“not mad, gyu. never mad. just…. disappointed? hurt? i dunno, i just felt a bit neglected.”

he sighed, and you mentally braced yourself for another yelling match, shoulders tense… but surprisingly it never came. instead beomgyu’s hand landed on your shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly as he shook his head.

“i get it… n’i wanna say sorry for making you feel that way. guess i kinda got caught up in the moment, huh? if… if it helps, she knew from the start that as soon as tour was done i’d probably never see her again, and she was okay with it. got what she wanted, i guess.”

your heart ached at his words, even the thought of him seeing her making you feel physically sick. but you needed to push that aside, no matter what - you need beomgyu as a friend, and you couldn’t jeopardize that.

“we just missed you, that’s all. the bus got too quiet without you.”

after your heart-to-heart that day, you and beomgyu never brought up the infamous groupie again - it was irrelevant, because you fell straight back into your regular pattern. no tour, no schedules, so you got to do whatever you wanted. your managers had forced you into a break for the rest of the year - which, much to heeseung’s dismay, meant no studio sessions until the new year. after the year you’d had, you deserved the break, and your team would make sure you got it no matter the cost.

quite early into your careers taking off, you and beomgyu had decided to move in together - it meant less bills, split rent, and not having to worry about 2 homes while you were away touring the world. in hindsight, it wasn’t your best idea, and given how awkward you were in close proximity to him lately, part of you wished you could go back in time and never agree to moving into his house.

unfortunately for you, beomgyu wasn’t entirely stupid and was relatively quick to pick up on your unintentional avoidance of him - at least, it started off unintentionally anyway. the two fo you were supposed to go out tonight, meet a group of high school friends at a restaurant, but a mere 4 hours before you canceled. he didn’t even know at first - seeing your message pop up in the allocated groupchat and scanning it; the words “sorry” and “unwell” catching his eyes. you weren’t unwell in the slightest - he’d just heard you on the phone to your mom and you sounded absolutely fine.

he didn’t get a chance to confront you for about an hour, ambushing you in the kitchen when you finally left your room to grab a bottle of cola.

“unwell, huh? probably shouldn’t be drinking a soda and loading up on salty snacks, then, should you?”

you cringed upon hearing his voice, turning from the fridge to find him leaning against the doorframe, eyes narrowed as he studied your figure. there were two ways you could handle this - genuinely feign being unwell, earning the issue that he might stay at home to look after you if he believed you, or burst into tears on the spot. and being the eloquent person you were, you went for the latter option. not that you had much of a choice, seeing how beomgyu looked at you with a teasing smile on his lips but such care in his eyes.

those eyes widened as a sob suddenly racked your body, rushing over and hands scrambling to pull you into a hug. he didn’t know where this had come from, and he was baffled. had he missed something? all he did was tease you for your awful snacking habits like always.

“hey- hey, are you okay? i’m sorry if it sounded like i was accusing you– you’d just seemed so excited for this dinner lately!” his voice raised in pitch as he tried to comfort you, and it made you feel awful, another cry ringing through the kitchen.

“i’m so sorry, gyu-! just can’t do it, wanna go to bed, m’sorry-”

he shushed you so carefully, as if afraid you might break, and you almost can’t take it. you wrap your arms around him, unable to stop your cries and whimpers. its like all your emotions from the past few weeks have come tumbling out at once, and you have no way to stop them, and it terrifies you. what do you tell him when he asks why you’re upset? what do you tell him when he holds you close and tells you that you can trust him with anything, that he’ll do anything he can to help you?

“d’you want me to stay home? i– i can cancel, i don’t mind! we can just order in some food and watch some shitty movies, that always cheers you up? yeah?”

he sounded so painfully confused, and it sent a shiver down your spine. how much longer could you do this? how much longer could you live with him, work with him, share every aspect of your life with him, without telling him how you felt? deep down, you felt like you were betraying him by keeping it a secret. he cared so much about you, and always told you everything - like your opinion mattered most to him, and that your reactions alone could define how he acted on a daily basis.

“you don’t have to cancel, gyu. you can go, i don’t mind, i just… i can’t sit in a restaurant with all those girls fawning over you while i sit there like an idiot.”

subconsciously, you prayed that he wouldn’t read between the lines, not pick up on the true meaning of your words, but he was more emotionally intelligent than you gave him credit for. he pulled away from the hug, your face cupped between his large hands and his eyes studying you carefully.

“i’m going to cancel,” he said firmly, voice serious as he held you. “i’m going to message and cancel, and we’re going to have a night-in together, and we’re going to talk, okay?”

he planted a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked away, something he always did, but this time it felt different. he stopped when he reached the threshold back into the living room, turning to you with a soft smile on his face.

“go take a shower, okay? get in some comfy clothes, and i’ll meet you back here in about an hour.”

god knows that hour passed too quickly. you were so stressed the entire time that passed, overthinking in the shower, putting too many decisions into what comfy clothes to wear. why were you trying to impress him? there was no need, he was your friend about to sit down and have a serious chat with you. even as you took careful steps towards the living room, greeted by the sight of beomgyu sat on the couch under a blanket - harry potter loaded up onto the tv screen - your heart felt like it was beating so fast it might explode.

he didn’t seem to notice you until you sat, quick to toss you a blanket and gesture for you to sit closer.

“why are you being shy? come sit with me, stupid.” while his voice held its usual teasing tone, there was something else in it - something you didn’t recognize as you scooted across the cushion closer to your best friend.

he didn’t start the movie yet, hand dancing over the remote before pulling away and shifting in his seat to face you.

“you wanna talk? or d’you wanna order food and watch the movie first?”

you sighed softly, knowing no matter how much you wanted to put this off that you couldn’t do that anymore. so instead, you nodded, mimicking his position.

“i can tell you’ve figured it out, gyu. so just get this over with please?”

he hesitated for a second before nodding, fidgeting with his fingers.

“you like me, don’t you? as more than a friend.. and that’s why you’ve been acting so strange lately. i knew something was up when you started avoiding me, but it just took me a while to piece it all together. can i– can i just ask; how long? i wanna make sure i have everything straight in my head.”

“i think i always have, i just never realized it. i kind of,” you sighed again, words difficult to articulate. “i finally started being honest with myself at the end of tour– i just didn’t want to spring it on you and ruin our friendship, so i’ve been trying to force myself out of it. i really do like you, gyu, a lot. more than i’ve ever liked anyone, god, i think i’m in fucking love with you. i just didn’t want to risk our friendship or our careers.”

you teared up slightly as you finished speaking, the silence of the room deafening as beomgyu processed your words.

“i don’t..” he stopped, trying to figure out how to best voice his feelings, not wanting to hurt you at all. “i think i’ve always known we were supposed to be together. i like you - of course i do - and i’d be stupid if i didn’t say i’ve always found you attractive...”

you huffed at that, folding your arms around yourself and effectively cutting off his words.

“you can’t force yourself into reciprocating just for the sake of my feelings, gyu. honestly, i just need closure. i need you to reject me, tell me you only see me as a friend, so i can move on. i can’t keep torturing myself by being in love with you, its not fair.”

“y/n, please, just listen to me.” he pleaded, grasping your hands in his. you looked up at him when you heard the desperation in his voice, and your heart broke at the pain on his features. you didn’t realize by torturing yourself, you’d end up torturing him too in the process. god, you hated human emotions.

“y/n, i– i want to, okay? i want to love you, just as much as you love me. i know i’ve always been particularly inept when it comes to emotions, and healthy relationships, but i want to change. i just– i need time. i’m going to learn to love you, no matter what it takes, i’m going to work on myself and be who you deserve.”

you couldn’t help the tears that rolled down your face again, salty drops falling from your skin onto the material of the couch beneath you. but beomgyu wasn’t finished spilling all of himself, oh no. and what could you do except listen?

“its always been you, and i’ve been too immature to develop that. who else knows me better, hmm? i’ve been too wrapped up in this rock ‘n roll lifestyle, that i haven’t allowed myself to realize that everything meaningful has always been right here. will you… will you wait for me? will you let me learn? teach me how to love?”

“of course i will, gyu,” you sobbed, pulling a hand away from his to wipe away to wetness from your cheeks. “i’d wait forever for you, whether i wanted to or not.”

taglist: @pretty-racha @demetrisscarf @hwangrimi @mari-18s-world @bgomtori @90steele @l0stindigo @banggyu0308 @takemehye @itstrashjustrash @bangtancultsposts @kangfication @breakmyheartlater @be0mgyulovrrr @gr4veb4be @yevene @watariisbestboy @zuzuhasablog @hearts4tubatu

[logansdogmotif]

🦅✩ oc content ✩🦅

:: Stephanie Raine ~ Fun Facts !!

✩ her birthday is the 8th october

✩ she is autistic and dyslexic (was never diagnosed with either)

✩ her favourite animal is a hawk (her motif!!) and birds of prey were a special interest of her’s as a child

✩ she was raised by a lower middle class single mother (her dad took his own life when she was a baby) in a poorer-than-they-would-have-you-think area of new jersey

✩ has crazy mommy issues and only became a cheerleader (and pushed herself to become head cheerleader even though she had no natural talent or passion for it) because her mother was one

✩ really struggled with school (especially essay based subjects) but was really good at arguing/getting her point across

✩ she wanted to be a lawyer growing up but failed the bar 3 times as an adult

✩ grew up with arfid and developed anorexia nervosa as a teenager because of her mother

✩ horribly maladjusted to the wilderness, was practically helpful but internally freaking out about everything

✩ was one of three cheerleaders on the plane, one of them (ilona) died in the crash and the other one (phoebe) was best friends with laura lee and went in the plane to look for help with her (rip)

✩ out of the yellowjackets, was only friends with jackie and taissa and in the previous years of high school had been specifically mean to nat and daniela (oc)

✩ had a crush on daniela since middle school and cried herself to sleep the day she found out daniela was pregnant (she presumed she was straight)

✩ did not cannibalise jackie but did cannibalise javi (maybe because daniela was the one who killed him…)

✩ was affected the most by starvation in the wilderness because of her previous malnutrition

✩ painfully touch-starved, cried the first time daniela held her hand

✩ wore her cheer outfit to doomcoming

✩ made daniela keep their relationship secret until the second winter in the wilderness (they got together the night before doomcoming)

✩ went back in the closet post-rescue and married a man called daniel (omg… omg) but did not take his last name

✩ had one daughter: thalia mae raine

✩ kept in contact with shauna, tai and daniela, and had an on-and-off vaguely long distance hookup situation with daniela for years (cheating on her husband and going to lesbian bars a lot)

✩ officially got back together with daniela nearly 5 years before the events of season 1, during a messy divorce, and they got married around 2 years before season 1

✩ daniela is heavily involved in the plot lines of season 1 but stephanie’s survival and marriage to daniela is dramatically revealed through phone call towards the end of the season

✩ now lives in long island with daniela, thalia mae, and the two of daniela’s children who aren’t yet grown (bill and owen)

[phantomtrader19]

(HALF*) 2024/25 cast REVIEW 31.08.2024

Spent 2 shows yesterday at phantom which I haven’t done in a while! Planned this couple months ago to see the new cast however I had covers for Raoul, Mme Giry & Piangi and all swings on too! There was a lot of people off!

First off it felt so strange to not see some cast members who had been there since 2021!

Ensemble was made up of all 5 swings being on which is a first for me I think?

Overall lovely performances from all, new corps de ballet were gorgeous as always!

For the Principals I’ll start with Millie Lyon as Meg who was brilliant - lovely youthful voice, feisty characterisation and a BLONDE wig! I’ve missed the blonde wig! Fantastic Meg looking forward to seeing her much more.

Martin Ball as Firmin is an absolute triumph! Hilariously pompous and arrogant and such a grumbly kind of voice he was a standout last night, he seemed to play the role like he was tipsy drunk the majority of the time and he was just not interested in all the dramas going on. Great chemistry with Adam which I admittedly thought may have been difficult to achieve after Matt Harrop but I absolutely loved his take on the character!

Hywel Dowsell was on for Piangi, last time I seen him he was second cover and was on for the first time in 18 months! Lovely nuanced performance with little ad-libs and added acting pieces - really enjoyed!

Victoria Ward was on for Mme Giry I’ve seen her once before and I really enjoyed her and even yesterday she was such a standout! Beautiful voice and again such nuanced acting and more motherly to Meg!

Joanna Ampil as Carlotta was very different to what we’ve seen before, less operatic and more ever so slightly belty sometimes her voice got a little lost in the music, still some gorgeous top notes but I just was hoping for a little more oomph from her voice. acting wise was generally great but I did hope for a little more over the top like Carlotta should be, looking forward to seeing how she grows into the role over the next year!

Enjoyed Michael as Raoul - super strong voice and some great acting choices! I’ve now seen him as many times as I’ve seen Joe! (6 times) Joe is admittedly more my cup of tea acting wise but I enjoyed him nonetheless.

Lily was on fire yesterday, gorgeous voice and acting was out of this world, a top tier Christine by miles! My only slight gripe is her last note in think of me I’m not sure if the orchestra is rushing her or something else but it’s very short, her other high notes are held much longer but I just wish she got to hold it slightly longer as it felt super rushed, 8th time seeing her and always finding new things I love about her Portrayal! Her chemistry with Dean was also insane!!!

Now for Dean, I heard the opening night audio and I’ll admit I wasn’t crazy about his voice and didn’t hear too much acting albeit through audio so my expectations were mid however, I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY that was how a Phantom should sound his voice literally vibrated the auditorium and was just ridiculously gorgeous!!! Acting wise he was more gentler with Christine until the final lair when he let loose. I’ll go out on a limb and say from all the Phantoms I’ve seen he may have been my favourite in line with Earl Carpenter - vocally 100% my favourite he reminded me of Colm Wilkinson, Tim Howar & Killian Donnelly in some musical points. a firm favourite!

Really great cast, will be back to catch the full principal cast so I can see Helen Hobson as Mme Giry!

Aiming to see Eve with the new cast too as I last saw her nearly a year ago and must’ve caught an off show as she wasn’t sounding great but after hearing more recent audios she sounded as beautiful as her debut! Would also love to see Zoe on as Carlotta as she has a voice that lifts the ensemble to new heights!

I do have audios from the 2 shows yesterday, please message me to trade but disclaimer that my replies are not great rn as work has been super hectic!

[pissterdaniel]

Thank you so so much for the ask @fern-foxx, I would love nothing more than to info dump <3.

PREPARE FOR 6130 WORDS THAT WILL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER ASKING ME TO DO THIS!

First things first, I have spent the last 4 hours formatting a response to your ask, only for tumblr to turn around and shit itself, and not let me post it. So I am restarting and trying it in the form of a proper post.

I think I had too many photos and links. So have put all my links in a linktree for your and tumblr's convenience (otherwise this post couldn't happen). Will just do a number coding system.

I have only gotten into figure skating recently. It started when some friends got me to watch Yuri on Ice and it's all been downhill since then.

The competition series I've been watching is the Grand Prix. This is on from October to December and is an elite level competition.

There are 2 programs that each skater competes, and I will go more in-depth later. But basically, there is the short program which is first - this is 2:40 +/- 10sec and the free program which is 4:00 +/- 10sec.

There are 6 qualifying events across the world, and skaters will be assigned either 1 or 2 competitions depending on how well they did at World's in March as well as some other criteria.

The competitions and when/where they were held this year:

Skate America - Oct 18-20 (Allen, TX)

Skate Canada - Oct 25-27 (Halifax, NS)

Grand Prix de France - Nov 1-3 (Angers)

NHK Trophy - Nov 8 -10 (Tokyo)

Finlandia Trophy - Nov 15-17 (Helsinki)

Cup of China - Nov 22-24 (Chonqing)

These are held in the same country every year (in 2022 Finlandia replaced the Rostelecom Cup in Russia for obvious reasons). The Junior Grand Prix has 7 qualifying competitions held between August and October and the locations of these change every year.

And then there’s the final:

Grand Prix Final - Dec 5th-8th (Grenoble, France)

The final is held in a different location each year and hosts both the seniors and juniors.

There are 12 skaters in each competition, and they'll get points based of how they place. At the end of the 6 competitions, the top 6 with the most points will go to the final.

The points:

1st - 15pts   2nd - 13pts   3rd - 11pts and so on... until 7th which is 4pts and 8th - 3pts.

There are various tie brakers in place, the first 2 are highest placement and if that ties -> highest total score (the list really keeps on going there are so many in the event all the tie brakers are tied).

Okay, now you understand how the Grand Prix works, we can go a little more in depth.

The Assignments

I said that these are based off of their placements in World's of the last season. The top 12 are guaranteed 2 assignments, the top 6 of these are called "seeded skaters." These are carefully assigned so that #1, #2, and #3 don't face each other at an assignment, and #4, #5, and #6 don't face each other. You can imagine that it would be unfair to have all the top skaters at 1 competition.

I made this helpful table to show who the top 6 at World's were in the men’s category:

The first number was their total score, second their short program, 3rd their free program, and then it has their 2 assignments. Shoma Uno placed 4th but retired that season so it bumped everyone up and the free spot went to Deniss Vasilijev. I won't share my women's table cause it is a total mess with several dropping out last minute.

The top 24 on the ISU (International Skating Union) world standings and season's best list also get 1 spot. Once all of those spots are filled, there is this sketchy ‘Host Pick’ rule. The host country of a competition gets to pick 3 of its own skaters to be at its competition. This could be giving someone with 1 slot an extra assignment or giving it to a local skater to draw in crowds. But the thing is, host picks don't have to meet the minimum score requirement?!?!? More on that later...

Other things that will put you in the pool for assignment consideration - are if you medal at the junior grand prix and are moving into the senior division. Or if you are a previous seeded skater who didn't participate in the last season due to heath/injury. After that, they look at the top 75 season's best list who meet that minimum score requirement.

The minimum score requirement is different for every division and changes every year. It is calculated by taking ⅗ of top score at the previous World's. In my table you can see that Ilia Malinin won with a total score of 333.76, so the minimum score for men in the 2024 Grand Prix is 200.26. (This year it was 133.77 for women). This minimum score also must have been achieved at an official ISU event (world championships, grand prix series, challenger series).

It is also worth noting that there is a limit of 3 skaters representing the same country at an assignment. Though there can be more than 3 if they make it to the final. See this year's final being 5 Japanese Women + Amber Glenn from the USA.

Now I want to tell you about the program requirements (for single, senior skating).

The Short Program

duration: 2:40 +/- 10 seconds

jump elements: 3

spin sequences: 3

1 step sequence

Both men and women must perform a double or triple axel, and a jump combination with 2 jumps. In addition to this, men must perform any triple or quadruple solo jump, and women any triple. The solo jump has to be different from the ones in combination. Because of their body shape, men can generally make more rotations in jumps than women, barely any senior women do quads after their body changes.

Both men and women must do 1 spin with a flying entry (any position), 1 combination spin with at least 2 different types of spins (camel, sit or layback). For the 3rd spin - spin in one position, men do either a camel or sit spin with 1 change of foot, and women can do any position but no change of foot. The position has to be different from their flying spin. As for rotations, for it to count you need a minimum of 8 rotations if you are not changing your spinning foot, and 6 if you are doing a change of foot.

The step sequence is a showcase of difficult steps and turns across a large surface of the ice, usually lasts at least 30 seconds.

Spins and step sequences get a level between 1 and 4 based off how complex and well executed they are. With 4 being the best and the standard for high level competitors.

The Free Skate

duration: 4:00 +/- 10 seconds

jump elements: 7

spin sequences: 3

1 step sequence

1 choreograph sequence

Both men and women must do 1 axel at any point. There is a maximum of 3 jump combinations allowed, with 4 other solo jumps. Most of them will do a jump sequence, which is when the second or third jump in a combination is an axel. Only 1 combination is allowed to have 3 jumps, the rest can only have 2.

Only 2 triples or quads can be repeated twice, of that, you can only repeat 1 quad (but can repeat 2 triples). This is to stop people from just doing their most high scoring jump over and over, this rule is colloquially known as the Zayaking rule. Elaine Zayak did 4 triple toe loops at World's in 1982 and it was changed after then.

As for spins, for both men and women it's 1 spin combo, 1 spin with flying entry, 1 spin with only one position. Change of foot and flying entry are optional extras for all spins, there are no restrictions like with the short program. 6 rotations must be achieved in the fly spin and spin in one position, and 10 rotations in the combination.

Step sequence same as above.

The choreograph sequence needs at least 2 artistic skating movements such as the spiral, spread eagle, or my personal favourite -  The INA BAUER.

The Ina Bauer

Amber Glenn (USA) Cup of China free skate 2024, my gif

You can see the blades are parallel, the leading foot faces where you're going, and the knee is bent. The other leg is straight out behind you, slightly staggered. Most of your weight is on the front foot, and it requires really good turnout in your hips. It is named after Ina Bauer (b.1941 d.2014) a German skater who invented it. Did you know that this Friday the 13th is the 10 year anniversary of her death? Catch me at the rink doing as many Ina Bauers possible. Anyways, there are 3 different types of Ina Bauer, the easiest being inside Ina Bauer meaning you are on the inside edge of your blade and go in a circle like this:

^ This is my very beginner level Ina Bauer, I don't quite have the strength/balance/flexibility to move up the Ina Bauer food chain yet, but I have only been skating for a few months and will master it one day.

There's also an Ina Bauer on a straight line. Then there’s the hardest which is on the outside edge, this is a very good example:

Cha Jun-hwan (KOR) 2023 ISU World Team Trophy free skate (1)

See his Ina Bauer goes along the outside of an invisible circle, and mine faces inside? And a straight Ina Bauer is just a straight Ina Bauer, like the one Amber Glenn is doing in that first gif. You don't have to do it in a layback position, you can just have a straight back for it to count. It's not about back flexibility but rather hip flexibility. RAAAAGH INA BAUERS, I live for them.

One of my favourite moments from this year's Grand Prix is when Kevin Aymoz of France does an Ina Bauer into a triple axel in his free program!!!! How cool is that?!?!

Kevin Aymoz (FRA) Grand Prix Final 2024 free skate, my gif

Skaters get more points on jumps if they include a difficult entry/exit, so this boosted his grade of execution (more on that later!) It's also a good example of an Ina Bauer with the straight back. Kevin Aymoz is one of my favourite skaters, he's a bit of a gay icon.

Now I will tell you about...

JUMPS

There are 6 types of jumps you'll see in professional skating. Most of them will be triples, except for the women's axels where doubles are more common. Men will do some quad jumps but very few will do the harder ones like the flip, lutz, and axel. Then there's Ilia Malinin of the USA who can do all the quads and make it look effortless. There’s also the occasional double as the second/third jump in combination or as a solo jump if something has gone really wrong. (Solo doubles aren't even allowed in a senior short program)

All jumps look the same in the air, and land on the same foot backwards with an outside edge. What makes them different is the way you take off. There are toe jumps that use the toe picks, and edge jumps which use your edges.

Diagram (2)

You can see that the figure skating blade is not flat but rather curved in a sort of arch shape. If you are leaning inwards, you'll be on your inside edge and outwards on your outside edge. The toe pick be spiky so you can stab it into the ice to launch you far and into the air. Consequently, if you lean too far forward on your skates you can trip over your toe pick and fling forward (I have done this many a time). You are also supposed to land on the bottom part of your toe pick and then place your foot down. But if you land too far forward on your toe pick you also fly forward (I couldn't walk after I fell like this on Saturday lmao).

Most skaters will jump and spin anticlockwise, so the following information applies to them. But for the few that go clockwise, reverse the lefts and rights.

The 6 jumps, separated by type are -

Toe jumps:

Toe Loop (T): Right outside take off. Entered from turn. Left leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.

Flip (F): Left inside take off. Entered from turn. Right leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.

Lutz (Lz): Left outside take off. Entered from a long straight 1 foot glide. Right leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.

Edge jumps:

Salchow (S): Left inside take off. Entered from turn. Legs sweep to form / \ shape.

Loop (Lo): Right outside take off. Left leg crosses over right, X shape.

Axel (A): Left outside take off. Only jump that takes off forward. Entered from back outside edge, left leg steps forward, right legs swings through to launch you.

For counterclockwise jumpers, all jumps land on a back right outside edge. Which means for jump combinations (where your landing edge has to be your take off edge) there are only 2 jumps that can be used as the second/third in combination. These being the toe loop and loop because they take off from that right outside edge.

This is unless a Euler jump is performed. This is a single jump used in combination to connect 2 jumps as it will take you from the right outside edge to the left. Interestingly, from the 2026-27 season onwards, Eulers will no longer be allowed in the short program, only the free. They will also no longer count as a listed jump nor add any base value to jumps (currently worth 0.5).

I've mentioned jump sequences in the free program requirements, but to expand on them. They are when your take off edge is different from your landing edge. I.e a small step is done so long as it doesn't disrupt the flow. Though since the 2018-19 season, only axel jumps are allowed as the second/third in a sequence. Also prior to 2022-23 sequences would only get 80% of the total base value for the jumps, but now it's full value.

It was also only in the 2018-19 season when the number of jump elements in a men's free skate went down from 8 to 7 (women's was already 7), and from 2026-27 onwards both disciplines will be going down to 6. That same season in 2018-19 the men's free skate went down from 4½ minutes to 4.

I should have mentioned this before, but figure skating seasons are from the 1st of July to the 30th of June so they span 2 years (not really, but that’s why I am using '2018-19' etc). The season starts with the Junior Grand Prix qualifiers in August - October, then the senior Grand Prix qualifiers in October - November with the final in December. December to January is when most countries hold their nationals. January is also the European championship. February has the 4 Continents (which is everyone BUT Europe), and March is the World Championships. When the Olympics are on in Februarys the 4 Continents are moved to January.

There's also The Challenger Series which is a step below Grand Prix. These competitions are required to take place between August 1st and December 15th. There are several competitions worldwide, but they don’t have a final. Sometimes Grand Prix skaters will compete in them to boost their rankings as they count towards the season's best list and can be where you get your ISU minimum score requirement that we talked about earlier.

Redirecting this back to jumps, here is a table of base values. You can see them ordered from lowest to highest to give you a sense of what’s easier vs harder.

Speaking of base values, I think it's about time I introduced you to...

The ISU Judging System

Now this can be EXTREMELY confusing at first, but in time it will make sense, and I hope I explain it well enough.

Both the short and free scores are broken into 2 sections. You have your Technical Score (TES) and your Program Component Score (PCS).

Technical Score - every element you perform has a base value (BV) that is added to your score. This is the easy part. Now where it gets complicated is with the Grade of Execution (GOE). Each judge (there's usually 7 - 9 in big comps) assigns a number between -5 and 5 based off how well it is executed.

Now bear with me here...

The highest and lowest GOEs from the judges are discarded, and the rest are averaged. The GOE average is then multiplied by 10% of the BV. This is your final GOE for a skill, this number is then added to the original BV to give a final FINAL score for a skill.

EXAMPLE:

The quad lutz had a base value of 11.5.

The 1 and 3 are discarded. (Highest and lowest)

(2+2+3+2+2+2+2) /7 = 2.14 - the average GOE

11.5 x 0.1 = 1.15 - 10% of the BV

2.14 x 1.15 = 2.46 - total GOE

11.5 + 2.46 = 13.96 - final skill score

Personally, I love how much maths is involved!! It's fun to just calculate these things even if the score sheets give you the final skill score anyways. It is really exciting once you understand how all of this works!! (yes, I am autistic if you haven't guessed already)

I would also like to note, that the current +/- 5 GOE system used to be +/- 3 but was changed in the 2018-19 season to make improper technique and falls have a bigger impact on scores.

Now the program component score (PCS). There are 3 categories: Composition, Presentation, and Skating Skills. A brief definition of all of them: Composition is the connection of your skills, use of the ice, and understanding of how the music relates to your program.

The standout example of this that I have to show you is from Kaori Sakamoto's free skate, I just LOVE how her jump take offs are on beat to the music!

Kaori Sakamoto (JPN) Grand Prix Final 2024 free skate

She actually got the highest PCS score out of the women in the Grand Prix Final!! It's easy to see why.

Presentation is engagement and expression with your music, and I guess general prettiness? Skating Skills is "a good range of steps, turns, and movements with blade and body control" tbh, I don't have a good understanding of what these look like, I guess it’s just vibe based. This is like an artistry score. It is just as important to have graceful skating that tells a story, as it is to have good technical abilities. The judging system and jump base values are always changing to try and balance this, and there a few systems in place to make this possible too.

Before 2022-23 there were actually 5 PCS categories, the 2 they got rid of were transitions – “intricate footwork, positions and movements that link all elements”, and interpretation (of the music) which I don’t fully understand, how many categories do you need in order to judge if a skater understands the music lol. This also meant that the factors increased in 2022-23 as they axed 2 categories.

So, for each of the 3 PCS categories, the judges assign a number between 0.25 and 10, and it goes up in increments of 0.25. Just like with the GOE, the highest and lowest numbers are discarded, and the rest are averaged. These averages are then added together and multiplied by a factor.

This factor is different for every discipline, because it is supposed to be as equal to the TES as possible. The women's factor is lower than the men's because they generally have a lower TES. And the short program is lower than the free skate because there are less technical elements.

The factors are as follows:

Mens Short Program: 1.67

Mens Free Program: 3.33

Women's Short Program: 1.33

Women's Free Program: 2.67

(the factors for pairs are the same as women's)

Let's look at Kaori Sakamoto's GPF free skate as an example, specifically her composition score:

The 8 and 9.5 are discarded, and the average is rounded to 2 decimal places equaling 8.93. This process repeats for the other 2 categories. These numbers are then added together (8.93 + 8.82 + 8.86 = 26.61) and multiplied by the factor. In this case, the women's FP is 2.67, so 26.61 x 2.67 = 71.05.

The maximum PCS possible:

Men’s short program: 50.00

Men’s free skate: 100.00

Women’s short program: 40.00

Women’s free skate: 80.00

Hopefully now you have a better understanding of how the judging system works! There is a little more to it, I will go into more into detail now. If you look at the detailed results from a competition you may see various symbols/letters next to skills. I will tell you what they mean and what they do to a score:

q - Jumps landed a quarter rotation short, doesn't affect base value, but will give you a negative GOE. The 'q' was introduced during the 2020-21 season.

< - Jumps landed between ¼-½ rotations short. Results in only getting 80% of the BV.

<< - Jumps landed more than ½ short a rotation. The jump will get downgraded. A 3Lz with a << will only get the BV of a 2LZ.

e - Edge call on a flip or Lutz. Remember how the flip takes off from an inside edge and the lutz an outside edge? Well, if you do it from the wrong edge, you will get an edge call and only 80% of the BV.

! - Edge warning. This means there was an unclear edge take off on a flip or lutz. There is no reduced BV, but the GOE will be less than 0.

V - For a spin that does not meet requirements, like a lack of rotations or variation in position. 75% of BV.

F - A fall. -5 GOE. There is also a -1 deduction for your first and second fall, a -2 for third and fourth, and -3 for 5th fall onwards.

+REP - Used if you do more than the allowed 3 combinations or 2 combinations + 1 sequence in the free program. The first jump will get 70% BV and everything after that doesn't count. It is also used for repeated single jumps; they'll also get 70% of BV.

+COMBO - You will see this in the middle of a combination. It happens when the skater steps out after landing a jump and still takes off for the next jump. Remember the point of a jump combo is to take off from the same edge you land on. This results in the following jump having no value.

* - Invalid element, skater receives 0 points. This is for any element that breaks a rule. Like a single or double solo jump in the SP, an extra jump element done (only 3 in SP and 7 in FS allowed), repeating a certain triple/quad jump in the FS more than twice, if there is no axel done, the last jumping pass will be invalid too. Also used alongside +REP to invalidate extra jumps in combinations. Before 2016-17, an invalid jump in a combination would invalidate the entire combination. And from 2026-27 onwards, the same type of jump can't be included in the FS regardless of rotations (currently more than 3 of the same jump can be included if you do 3 triples and a double for example).

x - This is the only good symbol! It is placed after the last jump element in the SP or the last 3 jump element in the FS (provided they are in the second half of the program). It adds an extra 10% to the BV of your jumps. As the program goes on skaters will get more tired so are rewarded for doing difficult stuff at the end. Consequently, this system was heavily abused until a rule change in the 2018-19 season. It used to be that all jumps in the second half would get the extra 10%. You can then imagine people would just stack their programs to have all the jumps in the second half. This was then changed to better balance program composition.

There are also other deductions besides falls. It's -1 for every second up to 5 that your program goes overtime. -1 for costume parts falling on the ice, -1 for costumes that don't meet requirements, -1 if you take more than 30 seconds to get into your starting position after your name is called, -2 for illegal moves (back flips were recently legalised, if you want to watch programs with back flips, I recommend Adam Siao Him Fa of France).

If you do want to watch figure skating, I will quickly explain what the thing in the top left corner is. It's relatively straight forward

The squares at the top represent the 12 elements that make up the free skate (short program will have 7 squares). The green means they successfully performed an element, the red means they performed it, but it got a negative GOE. Now you also know what it takes to get a negative GOE thanks to the information above ;)! If there is a dark grey, it means it’s under review still (?). This bar will fill up as they go through the program.

It will tell you the most recent element performed, as well as the BV for it, and their GOE. This is the GOE after that multiplying the average by 10% BV nonsense. Under this you'll see the skaters TES go up throughout the program, and underneath it is the leader's TES.

AND THAT CONCLUDES THE ISU JUDGING SYSTEM, THAT WAS A LOT BUT HOPEFULLY YOU GET IT NOW!

I will also share with you a helpful table I made in preparation for watching the Gran Prix Final. It has the finalists with their assignments, how they placed with qualifying points, and their total score earned in both assignments. As well as their personal bests and age. Interestingly, the men and women have the EXACT same average age of 21⅔. Which is super interesting cause usually the women tend to be younger than the men. Though this year the minimum age for the senior division was upped to 17. Last year it was 16 and before that it was 15 for quite a while. This was to protect minors more because of how intense it got with doping etc. I think it's a great change because I don't want to see tiny children when watching seniors, its also unfair cause the younger women can go hard out and learn quads before their body changes which is dangerous.

Adam Sia Him Fa qualified in 4th but had to drop out because of injury, Mikhail Shaidorov was 7th so he got moved up to replace Adam.

I really love looking up the skater's profiles on the ISU website, because some of them have the most insane listed hobbies. Check out Camden Pulkinen. Emo ass king.

Now I want to tell you about some of my favourite skaters!

Kevin Aymoz - France

Kevin Aymoz (FRA) Grand Prix Final 2024 gala exhibition, my gif

I have talked about him before. I love how dramatic his programs are, they have a lot of flair and camp energy. He was at Skate America and Finlandia Trophy and made it to the final! Unfortunately, he fell a few times and came last. He did get bronze at the 2019 GPF though! Did you know in 2021 he was in a French documentary called Faut qu'on Parle (we need to talk). It's about 6 elite athletes who come out for the first time and share their experiences of being queer. One of his listed hobbies is "catching pokémon" okay icon.

Amber Glenn - USA

Amber Glenn (USA) Grand Prix de France 2024 gala exhibition, gif credit below

LOOK AND HOW GORGEOUS AND HOT SHE IS. First off, SHE WON THE GPF CAUSE SHE'S SO AMAZING. Her assignments were Grand Prix de France, and Cup of China. Amber is a mental health advocate who is also queer and has ADHD, I love her so much. At the end of competitions, they will sometimes hold a gala exhibition. This is a showcase that some of the competition skaters partake in. It's a chance for them to do whatever program they want without the pressure of being judged - it's truly just for fun! Amber’s gala this year was to HOTOGO! Would definitely recommend checking it out. Here are some gif sets of it here on tumblr (3 4 5). Her hobbies are Magic the Gathering, anime, and cosplay. (It's funny cause when a skater lists anime as a hobby, you just knowwww they've seen Yuri on Ice. In this case, Amber worked with the creative team on the movie before it was cancelled). She was also the second American woman to land a triple axel at World's, the first ofc being Tonya Harding. Amber is a little bit of a legend, at age 25 she's kind of come out of nowhere and is starting to skate really well consistently. It was so cute when she found out she won the GPF. There's a camera where they can see the other skaters in the back, and the Japanese women did her FS finishing pose. It was such a sweet moment of amazing sportsmanship between these women. I will put a link to the clip posted on reddit here (6).

Matteo Rizzo – Italy

Matteo Rizzo (ITA) NHK Trophy 2024, my gif

Assigned - NHK, and Cup of China. He's just a silly guy. For starters, his SP music is a song called "Two Men in Love" an extremely gay love song. But then his FS music is.... "Fix You" by Coldplay? It's the contrast that I find so funny. His hobbies are Formula 1 and "airplanes" I too love planes. All of these things combined made him stand out to me as a bit of an icon. He also kind of looks like Christophe Giacometti from YOI, he's got the eyelashes for it. The gif is from the kiss and cry after his skate when he did this super funny gesture that absolutely sent me. What can I say, the man loves cars.

Jason Brown - USA

Jason Brown (USA) NHK Trophy 2024 short program, my gif

Skate Canada and NHK. Did you know that he came out as gay on Dan's birthday in 2021? My friends and I joked that Brown was fitting name cause he was dressed like a shit for his SP in that gif. I call him JJ if he slayed, cause his energy and mannerisms + the way he addresses the audience reminds me JJ from YOI but if he were gay. Also has a super camp gala exhibition, and won the junior GPF in 2011.

I love the galas that have a gimmick. Like Mikhail Shaidorov who did a Kung Fu Panda one in a giant panda suit. He somehow managed to land a triple toe loop in that costume too! Mikhail is a really good jumper. This season he made history by becoming the first skater to land a quad as the second jump in combination with his 3A + 4T!!!

Mikhail Shaidorov (KAZ) Grand Prix Final 2024 exhibition gala (7)

He also has assistants come out in his gala and for the Grand Prix de France, Amber was one of them!

Amber and Mikhail Grand Prix de France 2024 exhibition gala (8)

Where you can watch the ISU stuff will depend on your country. I can watch it all for free on the ISU Skating youtube channel since I am in New Zealand and no other broadcaster covers it. The youtube videos are geo blocked in countries that have networks with a monopoly over the rights.

If you are also a fan of Yuri on Ice, I have some cosplay content recommendations too (if not, just skip this). I have fallen IN LOVE with these 2 particular cosplayers (Vehn and Svatti - yt channel: Weeb Chapel) who had a YOI skit series, here is the playlist on youtube (9). Svatti who plays Yuri also does a hilarious Chris which you can see in their Kiss Marry Kill in Character (10).

Cosplayer Svatti as Christophe Giacometti in "Yuri!!! on Ice KISS MARRY K-WORD!" youtube link in linktree, my gif

Svatti's Chris is also in the background as a voice in the Viktor and Yuri Google Questions Interview (11). Now I don't usually consume Otayuri content cause I find their age gap weird, but they have a gorgeous Otayuri CMV (cosplay music video) that I keep on watching (12). I have also started just watching all their other cosplay content. YOI is the only anime I've seen, but I really just love Svatti and Vehn (former username Mishkali) so much I'll watch anything with them. They are so attractive, and my gender envy is off the charts with everything they do, and Vehn’s Victor drives me fucking crazy in the best ways possible THE ACCENTTT. If you know of them or watch it and want to chat HIT ME UP!

My favourite CMV however is this one (13) by Rintamasuunta. The production BLOWS MY MIND DUDE. Even if you haven't seen YOI you should still watch it. The sets, costumes, choreography, ah too good. One of them is even an actual skater and you get to see them do parts of the routines in costume! I keep rewatching it time and time again.

One last Yuri on Ice thing - Joel Minas on youtube has recreated some of the programs in full. It is just so impressive to see them bought to life. Here is his playlist (14)

And there we have it folks!! There's a lot more that I could have included, I have so many more thoughts. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the feeling of being in the trenches of a hyper-fixation. You ask for an info dump; you get an info landfill that took a couple days and many MANY hours to assemble (WORTH IT!). I may or may not have taken it a bit too literally when you asked to hear what I've learnt so far WELL HERE IS EVERYTHING. Are you regretting your life choices yet? If you or anyone else has any questions or wants to discuss figure skating, CONTACT ME PLEASE I LOVE TO YAP (evidently)!!! Also, if you have managed to read all of this you are insane, and I love you.

I still spend most of my days thinking about skating. I am at the rink 2-3 times a week and have started lessons. I hope to get really good at it someday. Researching competitive figure skating is so so so fun! I just love learning about the all the rules/the technical side. I have so many pages of notes. Finally, I will link some resources I found helpful if you want to do some further reading.

They’ll be in the linktree (sorry it had to be like this, tumblr just couldn’t take it) https://linktr.ee/pissterdaniel

Resources

15 Brilliant youtube video that breaks down the 6 jumps with examples to help you identify them

16 The soyouwanttowatchfs website has a lot of guides for people getting into figure skating

17 ISU Technical Panel Handbook 2024-25

18 ISU Technical Rule Book 2024 (160 pages of goodness)

19 Table of base values (a couple of seasons old as still has 5 PCS categories listed, but should (?) still be valid, it has +/- 5 GOE so is after 2018 but before 2022. I feel like one of those people who works out the date a globe is from, which honestly, I’d be into because I love geography (it’s the darn autism again isn’t it)).

20 Extremely detailed table of base values 2024

21 Short program outline

22 Free skate outline

23 The ISU website in general, good for detailed scores and skater profiles

Lmk if there are any issues with the links OR IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE CONTACT ME

Okay that is it, I just want to get this out there now, getting this from my word document to a successful tumblr post has taken 7 hours dear lord.

Hope this is a sufficient info dump @fern-foxx, it’s 6130 words. Thank you for your ask xxx

[debtdealt]

high on amphetamines the moon is a light bulb breaking it'll go around with anyone but it won't come down for anyone and i won't come down for anyone

general.

full name — michael gerard hopley. ( yeah. it's what you think. ) nicknames — mikey, mick. age & d.o.b — 24 & april 8th, 2001. gender & pronouns — nonbinary & they/she/he, no preference. sexuality — unlabeled, queer. ethnicity — white. occupation — bartender at altitude 22.

background.

place of birth — redford, california. residence — redford, california. ( located in the cove, in a run-down one story, ranch house by the ocean. ) known languages — english, ASL. accent — like if a valley girl should've spawned on the east coast but ended up over here. ghost of new jersey slips out of him sometimes. don't worry about it. : / education — high school graduate. parents — katrina and james hopley. both estranged, 'disappeared' status completely unknown. never met their dad, mom walked out when they were about fifteen. siblings — james hopley, vanished. 5 years older. pets — yeah, uh, do not give this guy a living thing to care for. please. he's a doink and he's barely alive by himself.

phys.

face claim — sophie thatcher. height — 5'6" ft. hair color — changes all the time, usually box - dyed blonde or something dark, like red/black/brown. had spray-dye blue hair ages 12 to 15 with the worst roots you've ever seen. eye color — green. details — frequent nose scrunching type. freckles on the shoulders, nose. has glasses that he won't wear and he's too scared of contacts to try. lip biting. one eyelid hangs just a little lower than the other, perpetually sat at half open. cartoonishly expressive at times because she doesn't know how to make her emotions seem earnest otherwise. style — mix of picks of made from ease of comfortability and punk & goth inspirations. always carrying a cane with a skull at the head of it, which is mostly used for mobility assistance but also a nonzero amount of swinging at adversaries. build — noodle. tattoos — snail from adventure time on her left ankle. piercings — left eyebrow. physical health — poor eye - sight, as previously mentioned. typically seen wearing a brace on her knee — it's never really been the same since a heely's accident. ( dead serious. wiped out so bad, surgery was required. )

a closer look.

traits — captivating, perceptive, unfortunately also stupid ( high wisdom, low intelligence, alright? ), absent-minded, erratic, mischievous, flirtatious, friendly, compassionate, impulsive, self-destructive, irresponsible, idiot, constipation of the emotions to a degree, shockingly capable but this only seems to be in the regard of caring for others. zodiac big three — aries sun, cancer moon, pisces rising. alignment — chaotic good ( ? ). character inspo — marceline ( adventure time ), rue bennett ( euphoria ), nat scatorccio ( yellowjackets ), ryan atwood ( the oc ), francis wilkerson ( malcolm in the middle ), klaus hargreeves ( the umbrella academy ), shane mccutcheon ( the l word ), doodlebob ( spongebob squarepants ), peter parker ( marvel, if he was stupid though ). mental health — generally struggles with substance abuse of all kinds. isn't struggling with autism but definitely has it. bipolar i, medicated. ptsd. pinterest — here. playlist — here.

overview.

do you know where your children are? . . . the 2010’s aren’t the point in time of the relevancy of this advertisement ( 1960s ), and no one then really listens to the radio anyway, but it’s just as well; katrina hopley wouldn’t have known the answer even if she had held her head up long enough to hear it. and james i? the baby daddy of her first and her second kid? yeah, split before the little one was even fuckin’ old enough to be able to hold a memory. james ii, five years older than mikey, makes it his job to know the answer to that question for all of them after their mom drops the ball for the last time and leaves mikey to walk home three miles by herself after school when she’s just eight and he’s just thirteen. it’s because of his devotion to keeping them both afloat that she was cared for at all, and it’s for this reason that james vanishing eighteen months ago all but destroyed her.  even though her mother walked out when she was fifteen and even though that introduced a grief of it’s own kind into her life, she was still well looked after; and really, the absence of them didn’t change much when he was more her parent than either of theirs ever had been. she was loved by the person that mattered the most to her and that was enough. love is leaking all over the house she grew up in ( it suffocates her ), in the form of pictures on the wall that her brother cared to put up of the two of them and in all of the furniture he either bought with his own money or fixed with his own hands. in the way he used to set the table for her, even on days where she didn’t think to call home and let him know she’d be late, leaving him to worry ( and they were frequent. god, were they frequent ) — she regrets those types of things the most in his absence, and she hasn’t moved that last plate he’d left in her spot. never ate the food he saved, either. that had to go about a week after the departure. the seaside’s lonely when it’s a singular pair of boots tracking in sand and especially when she can’t hear james laughing down the hallway at a rerun of golden girls that he’s seen no less than eighty times.  mikey does things now without much direction, without much purpose — and they can blame that all day on the fact that they lost their north star, but the truth is that they were born aimless ( the way we all are ) and then never found something to make their reason. reason to work hard, reason to try at anything. they’re unregulated and unpredictable on their worst days, devastatingly charismatic and sweet on their best, and generally fumbling through life with almost an impressive level of mediocrity on every day in-between.

[letswrites]

LN- All roads lead to you

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Masterlist

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Omg, the next one is the last already! I think you all will want to kill me cause of the end heheheh

No spoilers, tho. Enjoy the current chapter :)

Disclaimer: it contains smut!!

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Chapter 7: Suzuka

October, 8th, 2022 (classification day)

Suzuka International Racing Course, Suzuka, Mie, Japan.

She had her eyes on the shots that were taken "It looks so good" "Thanks" she smiled at Louis "I'm in love with these lens" "I see it. You're in love with the model as well" she blushed "I'm not" "Really? Cause he seems to be the star of your photoshoot" she put the camera down "Was it too obvious" "Just if someone watched you from very close" "Good" "Anyway, I can't wait to reveal them" "Yeah, me too!" Louis smiled "I will meet up with Damian, see you in Amsterdam?" "Yeah, will be there in a couple of days" "Great! Good to see you again" he held her hand between his like a sandwich "Lovely to see you too, Lou" he gave her a quick hug "Take care of those babies" she grinned "As my own life" "Oh, dear Lord, I rather you look after the photos as it was the drivers's life" he joked making she laugh "Oh, shut up" he smiled "Bye bye, sweetheart" "Bye, Louis" and he left.

She turned to her camera and decided to give one more look at her photographs. "The model" Louis teased her about was, of course, the papaya team driver: Lando Norris. She smiled at the photos of him, out of the McLaren, wearing his suit and helmet, inside his car waiting for the green light, crossing the black and white flag... "How can someone be so cute?" she asked herself, almost forgetting she was angry with him. She was about to give herself some lecturing when felt a warmth on her back. She knew who it was. The black and orange on the arms of the jack around her shoulders and the smell of male deodorant denounced the species standing behind her. His low, soft voice with the characteristic British accent on her ear confirmed what was already known "Someone is very focused" "It's impossible to concentrate when you're around" "Really?" she felt the smile growing on his face without needing to look at him "Yeah. My heart can't find a normal pace and I blame you only" he chuckled "You have a very good looking model" "Yes, I do" "Thanks, fangirl" he kissed her cheek, she blushed.

"How are you?" "Could be better" "Why?" "Could be away from you" She turned to the side, getting rid of his arms to look at his face, he was not happy with her comment "You're not happy to see me?" "Why would I be?" "Because you lo..." she cut him "Why would I be happy to see a liar?" he frowned "Because he'd like to take you out" She arched an eyebrow "Again with this subject?" "Yes, have dinner in Tokyo with me tonight" She kept silent "Pretty please?" he pouted. She kept her mouth shut "Come on, I'm trying to make things right" "I still don't like what you did to me" "What exactly?" "Do you really want me to list?" "NO! Please don't do that" he took a deep breath "What can I do to you agree with going out with me again?" 'undo the past and not be an asshole in the first place' she thought. "I don't want to have dinner with you" he looked at his feet, he deserved that, maybe he should leave her alone:

'I'm not committing the same mistake again'.

His own words echoed in his head, then looked at her "What do you want to do with me instead?" "Nothing" "Don't be so harsh" she sighed "I want to see the Sakuras" "The cherry blossoms?" "Yes" "I don't know where to find cherry blossoms in Tokyo this time of the year" he thought for a second "But I can solve that" "I don't want to see them with you" "That's not my problem, we're going together" she blinked "You are very cheeky, aren't you" "You only noticed now?" she chuckled. He smiled, he made her express happiness "So?" "Text me where and when" he smiled again, even fully "Okay! Great" "Do you still have my number?" "Guess, so. How about you?" he grabbed his phone to check "No" she lied, she still had. He called her. Damn. "Save it again, then. You're going to need it from now" "I can do it later" "Why?" "Cause I want to" he smiled, cheekily "You still have my number, don't you?" "No, I don't" "So let me see your phone" "What?! No!" "Let me see it" he stepped forward, bodies apart only for her camera hanged on her neck. She froze. He stretched his arm, sliding his hand from her back to her lowback till reached her phone in the back pocket of her jeans maintaining eye contact the whole time. She wanted to pull him away from her. "Who the fuck does he think he's? With witch right he thinks he can do that?" she thought, without being able to move, as he was a hypnosis trick. The phone call had already ended, he looked at the iPhone screen:

'Lando 🧡

Missed call'

"Aww, an orange heart" She took her phone from his hand, aggressively and stepped back "Give me that back!" he giggled "You're so cute" "Stop!" "Will add a heart on yours as well" "No need to" "But I..." "I must go now, Lando" "Wait!" he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his torso, giving her a tight hug. She let them enjoy it for a few moments before pulling away from him and walking away "I text you" but he got no answer "Where the fuck will I find cherry blossoms in Tokyo in freaking autumn?" he unlocked his phone and started to search for it.

//

Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan

He was waiting outside her hotel, where he told her he was going to pick up her.

"My hotel?" she asked when he called her 4 hours after their meeting at the circuit "Yes, I'm a gentleman. I'll pick you up at your place... Or at least your temporary place" she giggled "Fine. I text you the address" "Great! Hum... how long do you take to get ready?" "Be here at 6:30" "18:30, right?" "Yes, dork" "Okay"

At that moment it was 6:28 PM and his heart was skipping beat after beat like that was their first date ever. 1 more minute passed and his stomach started to squirm, he felt like the teenage boy he was a few years later, getting excessively nervous only to think about being near to a beautiful girl. He looked at his watch again it was 6:30 PM already, would she be late? He took a deep breath and when he was about to exhale, he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. When he turned, he found a pretty lady wearing light ripped jeans, a white tank top with red hearts on it, slip-on checkered Vans, a twilight green sweatshirt, and a bright coming out from her aura. "Very punctual, lady" "Yes, I am" "How can you look breathtaking even wearing those clothes?" "What's wrong with them?" "Nothing, they just..." he took a second to appreciate the girl in front of him "Are not fancy for a date" She looked at him, wearing the same pieces of clothes she was: jeans, a t-shirt, casual sneakers, and a hoodie. "Hypocrite" he grinned "And this is not a date, we're just going to see the Sakuras" "Well, for me this's a date. A second first date" she raised an eyebrow, then chuckled "Alright. Shall we go?" "Yes, sure. Oh!" he cleaned his throat "This is for you" he took a single red rose from behind his back. She smiled and grabbed it "Thank you" he smiled back and offered his arm to her, but she refused "I still don't trust you, Mr. Norris".

They were at Shinjuku Gyoen, a beautiful park in Tokyo in Shinjuku near Shibuya. As they walked in the park, they talked about twilight "So, you are a twilight fangirl?" "Yes, I am" "Are you a vampire or werewolf girl?" "I like Edward" "Which of them is Edward?" "Robert Pattinson" he looked clueless "Vampire" "Really?" "Yes, I like the pale, emo, mysterious guys" "Do you think I would be a vampire or a werewolf?" she inspected him, surgically "Probably the vampire" "Why are you offending me?" "You asked me! Why? Do you think you could be a werewolf?" "Perfectly!" he said incredulously "Okay" "Okay?" "If you think so" "You're being mean" she closed her eyes to laugh and when she opened them, she almost cried. When she opened her eyes, she saw a corridor of Sakuras, all lighted up. There were Sakura projections on the grass, near the trees themselves. She uncrossed her arms "Wow..." she mumbled "This... this is..." he smiled "This is so damn beautiful!" "How..." she looked at him "How did you find it? I mean, I thought I wouldn't be able to see Sakuras this time of the year but... you freaking made it" "These are winter cherry blossoms" he paused to think "Fuyu..." he struggled with the Japanese word a little "Fuyuzakura. Which means winter Sakura. They have white petals, but the pink lights emulate the original ones" "Amazing" her eyes had a bright that he didn't know if it was from the reflection of the lights or if she was actually emotional about it. "This has been my dream since I was 8, and I saw it in Memoirs of a Geisha with my brother" "Seeing the cherry blossoms?" "Yes" "So I am making your dream come true?" "Apparently, yes" she said nonchalantly while they walked through the park. "Hum... Don't you think is weird that it's so empty here? I mean, it's such a beautiful place" "Well, that might be because I paid them..." "You what!?!" "This is a festival that happens mid-November. It's called, hum... NAKED festival. But it's October and we are here now, so I paid them for doing this" he gestured "Exclusively for tonight..." She was holding the air and she didn't even try to "You... Paid?" "Yes, you wanted to see the cherry blossoms" "How... how much money you have paid? It must have been a lot" she covered her face with her hands "Omg! I wanted to annoy you but now I'm so embarrassed!". He smiled, she was so cute "Hey" he took her hands off her face "It doesn't matter. You wanted to see the cherry blossoms, I made it happen" she looked into his eyes "I don't know what to say" "So don't say anything. Just enjoy" he smiled and she smiled back "Okay".

//

Shijuku, Tokyo, Japan.

They walked back to Shibuya in silence "Thanks" "Hum?" "For the Sakuras" "It was nothing" she nodded. "So. Heard it's your birthday soon" he started. She smirked, then looked at him "I wonder how you know so much about me. Cause I don't tell you about myself unless you ask, and you don't ask much" he gulped "I have no idea what you are talking about" "You always say Charles told you, but I don't think he actually does it" he looked at her "Don't you trust me?" "Well..." she moved her gaze forward "Trust more on him than on you. That's for sure" he chuckled looking forward as well "So how it's to almost be 25?" she locked her gaze on his and crossed her arms, then made a long pause before she started to talk again, like she was looking for clues in his eyes "Are you googling me?" he laughed "You're googling me!" She accused him while he continued to laugh "He is googling me, everybody!" she said to a group of people passing by them on the street "How did you get to this conclusion?" "No one knows I'm actually 24. When people ask me how old I am I always ask them 'how old do you think I am?' and when they guess, I say 'something in this range' but never really tell the truth. I think not even Lewis knows my real age. Plus I haven't ever told you about it" "Fine. It's a valid hypothesis" "Not a hypothesis, a conclusion" "Hypothesis, cause I'm not admitting anything" "Of course you're not". She kept silent for a few seconds before saying "Coward" "Hey!" she smiled "Yeah, my birthday is next week by the way" "What are you planning?" "Probably going out to dinner with a few friends" "That sounds good" "Yeah, don't want anything too big" "You and your friends only?" she raised an eyebrow "Are you inviting yourself to my birthday dinner?" "I said nothing" she laughed "If you want to be invited be a man and ask, bro" "I'm not going to ask if I can go to your birthday dinner!" "Okay" "Okay, then" silence again "But can I?" she smirked "I'll think about it, Landoboy" "Don't call me Landoboy" "Fine" she looked at her right and saw an ice cream shop "Look!" she pointed "What's it?" "Ice cream" "Wanna have it?" "Yes! But wouldn't that be bad for your diet?" "It can be our secret" she giggled "Alright".

...

"What flavor do you want?" she hummed "Passion fruit! In the cone, please" she said like a child. He smiled "Passion fruit in the cone it's, then" "What about you?" he thought a bit "Same as yours" she smiled, reminiscing at the night they met when he asked her what she was drinking and picked the same as hers. "There you go, lady" "Thanks". She moaned at the taste of the passion fruit on her tongue "Do you like it" she nodded affirmatively "I really like it" he giggled "Why is it called passion fruit?" she asked "I don't know" "Do you feel passionate when you eat it?" he swallowed the ice cream and hesitantly answered "I... do feel passionate right now" she smiled "Me too" she stepped closer to him and touched his hand "Hey, Lando" "Yes?" "Can you kiss me right now?" he smiled "Yes, I can" then with one hand, held her jaw and approached his lips to hers till they touched. It was a soft kiss, to remind their lips how it was, that small peck in London at her front door wasn't enough. While his lips were busy being happy, his mind wished he could blame a yellow, sour, calming fruit for his feelings. When they parted, she sucked her bottom lip to extract any flavors of him which had been left on it. "Would you like to visit my hotel room?" she asked "You are asking me to..." he cut himself before she changed her mind "Yes, of course, I'm going anywhere with you tonight" "Will you?" "Yeah" "Anywhere?" "Anywhere" "I like that" "I know you do" she smiled "Okay, let's go" she extended her hand to him, he took it and enlaced their fingers while they walked in Shibuya streets.

//

Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan

Hotel Sulata, Room 304

The night finished with them laying shoulder to shoulder at this hotel bed. Talking. Only talking. "So my father, who basically raised me, said I was too young for that. And then I went to Amsterdam to spend a few days with my mother, I asked her if I could, and she said it was fine so I did it" "Did your father find out?" "Of course he did" "What happened?" "He couldn't do anything. Except grounding me" he chuckled "Seems he wasn't too angry with you. I mean, he just grounded you" "He was angry but mostly disappointed..." she paused "At that time I thought 'f it! I always obeyed my parents, never drank, smoked, tried drugs, dated, and haven't become pregnant..." he laughed "I just wanted a damn butterfly tattoo it wasn't anything satanic, you know? So I just passed through his rules" "Do you regret the tattoo?" "Not the tattoo, but the way I got it. I love my tattoos, all of them, but now I'm older, I hate the fact I disrespected my father to have this one, so..." "Don't feel like that, it's past" "I know" she cleaned her throat "How about you? Any tattoos?" "Nah" "Boring" "Where are your tattoos?" "Ribs, back, right buttcheck, and clavicle" he widened his eyes "And you won't let me see them?" "Not without an exchange" "I grant a wish of yours" "Anything?" "Anything" "Fine" she knelt on the mattress and stripped down her clothes, slowly, teasingly, first the white tank top, then brushing her fingers down the ripped jeans, not touching her underwear. His eyes didn't leave her any second. She showed him 3 butterflies on the clavicle, a dragon on the back, a rose on the ribs, and a 'bite me' on the glute.

"You are so hot. Fuck" he said in a low tone, almost with a heavy, hard breath. She blushed, smiling shyly "Thanks" "What about your wish?". She moved closer, and placed one hand under his t-shirt, feeling the heat of his body warm her to her core down. He shivered with her touch and he could feel his blood flowing to his too. His hands reached hers, caressing her fingers over the fabric. Her gaze found his and he knew already that she wanted the same things he wanted to happen. She whispered in his ear in a sexy tone "Do what my bum says" she was referring to the 'bite me' tattoo which, in her defense, was made when she was drunk. He smirked and soon, his fingers pushed his t-shirt and ripped it away from his body. She swallowed hardly "So handsome" she thought. "Stop eating me with your eyes" she looked at his face "Guess I will start hitting the gym too" he laughed "You have this body without hitting the gym?" "I do pilates" " It works very well" she smiled, directing her attention back to his chest. He brushed his fingertips over the ink "I could bite every centimeter of you" he bit her cheek, softly. She laughed "It's so good to listen to your laugh". They smiled at each other before Lando grabbed her thighs and laid her on the mattress "Especially if it's because of me" then he dipped down to kiss her. They stood there making out for a few minutes before she felt something against her belly, she slid her hand down to confirm her suspect. He moaned with her act getting even harder, then stopped kissing her "Heya! Come back here!" she demanded but he didn't respond, just knelt on the mattress and unzipped his black jeans, ripping them off his body, she could see even better the boner through his white underwear. He hadn't said anything since she caressed his cock, and since then felt like his energy switched to a controlling, possessive, rough man. And she was right, cause he grabbed her by the waist and turned her to face the mattress, he caressed her round bum before biting it as she asked for it, and she giggled. He pushed down to whisper in her ear "You taste delicious, now I'm going to shag you, if that's okay by you" "Shag me?" she giggled, he rolled his eyes "Fuck you, is that better?" "Yes. And please, do it" she pleaded, and as soon as she consented to him he pressed his penis between her legs. She moaned, as much needy as he was. He pushed up and unclipped her bra, she turned to face him, freeing herself of the bra. He dipped down to suck her nipples causing her to moan again, then he stopped and lifted his body to look into her eyes and said in an authoritarian tone "I want you to suck me" She wined "Wasn't you going to shag me?" she said mocking the British slang "I'll but I want to have this image of you craved in my mental drive forever before" she smirked and teased him "Kinky" before she stepped out of bed and knelt on the floor. He stood before her, she looked up and their gaze met. Something was telling her he wasn't going to blink not even once during the blowjob. She placed her hands on his hamstrings and started to run it upward till the hem of his underwear to strip him. She gulped when she was face to face with his penis, she had already seen it before but had not been so close to it, she wrapped one hand around it and slid it up and down a few times, she could feel his body reacting even tho nothing left his lips "Why men can't moan more frequently? It would make things even hotter" she asked "Want me to moan for you?" "It would be nice" he chuckled "Will think about it". Then, she licked the tip, one lick at a time, slowly, teasingly, intending to make him go crazy with that. It was working, cause he grabbed her hair and was about to force into her mouth, but she didn't let him "I'll do it my way" he loosened the grip on her hair, letting things go how she wanted to. She rubbed the tip with her thumb, then put it into her mouth, still slowly, he moaned.

She made some effort to put it all into her mouth, she almost made it. Then she started to move forward and backward at a rhythmic pace, when it hits her throat, she grabbed his ass and squeezed it, he gripped her hair again, clearly suppressing his pleasure sounds.

It came to a point where he couldn't take it anymore, he obligated himself to speak and tell her to stop, she looked up at him and cleaned her mouth with the back of her hand. She could tell he was burning in luxury at that moment "Stand up" he demanded, and she obeyed "You know how much damage it caused on my brain?" "You seem to be enjoying it" "More than that" she smirked. He switched places with her and threw her on the mattress, climbing it till he was on top of her "Are you ready for me, princess?" She nodded, almost in desperation, he was torturing her with the wait and was receiving pleasure, while she was only turning even horny, not fair at all. "Good" he aligned himself and filled her with him. He enlaced their fingers, not allowing her to take much control.

They could feel the electromagnetism between their bodies so strong they could almost literally make sparkles. He started to thrust. First, the tip only, put in and out, making her go crazy like she had done with him before "Lando..." She mumbled "Please" he smirked, sweet revenge. "Hold on, baby" he watched her contort herself of neediness, hearing her sweet moans filling his ears, then thrust deeply, giving her what they both needed. She wrapped her legs around his torso, so he could go even deeper but honestly, if he thrusted even deeper, he would pierce her cervix and end up in her uterus. The feeling of her around him and her moans, made it almost impossible for him to suppress his owns so when it came out, he kissed her. Even so, he moaned during the kiss which made her smile, the effect they had on each other was breathtaking.

Involuntarily, she contracted around his length. Pure bliss to both of them. He felt astonished, it felt like a soft hug from a fluffy thing. She noted and contracted intentionally, causing him to cum not too much after her act. The feeling of him filling her drove her to a third contraction, an involuntary one, blasting into her own orgasm.

When he took himself out of her, he laid on her side and that time had no pillow talk, he just pulled her body close, dried some sweat from her forehead, and pressed her against his chest, holding her tight. How could he ever let her go?

//

It was a little past 10 PM when he decided to jump off the bed and hit a convenience store he had seen earlier. He needed something to drink, juice was a good call "Which flavor she would like? Maybe she rather iced tea" he remembered of Woking "She drank iced tea that day. But which one is tea?" while he was talking to himself, struggling with the Japanese, and staring at the options in the fridge, he heard a few giggles, it came from two Japanese girls. He looked at them, one had pink locks and tons of glitter on her face, and the other one had green clips on her hair which matched with her skirt. Both were very cute, and they seemed to know who he was, f1 driver privilege.

The girls decided to approach and in bad english, the one with pink hair asked him "Excuse me, are you, Lando Norris?" "Yes, I am" they giggled between each other "Shouldn't you be sleeping for tomorrow's race?" "Maybe, but I am thirsty" "You are so cute" "Hey, you are girls! Tell me something, which of these would you pick?" they looked at where he pointed "Green grape" "Orange". Good. They helped a lot. "Which one someone who likes passionfruit would like?" "Probably something sour" "Like lemon". Godamn, that girl really liked green! Then he had an epiphany "Pink lemonade! Which one is pink lemonade?" he kept struggling with the hiragana "I got you" "Get an apple one too, please" the pink-haired lady reached to the bottles, and when she was giving them to Lando, their fingers touched. He looked at her "You know..." her hand moved to his chest, rubbing it up and down "...We've already heard about your reputation. We also heard you are single now. We are single too. Both of us" he gulped, thinking about what he could do with the duo, at the same time. Then, he remembered the girl he left sleeping in the hotel room. So, he stepped back and cleaned his throat "Sorry ladies, but the only 2 things I'm taking with me from this store are the juice bottles. Thanks for the help, and have a good night. Bye bye" he ran to the cashier "SIGN MY BOOBS!" the girl who was in green shouted, receiving a poke from her friend. The owner of the store looked with a deadly look at the girls, Lando suppressed his laugh and as soon as his card was approved, he left.

...

During his way back that scene kept replaying in his head. He sighed, he was a single man, and if he wanted to flirt, he could. He entered the room. She was still sleeping while he slipped over the night. He chuckled "Deja vu" then walked toward the bed, leaned forward, and kissed her forehead. She woke up "You are awake" he said "So do you" she rubbed her eyes "What's going on?" "I went out. To buy us juice" she smiled "If you wanted to slip away, I would only notice by the morning" "But I'm here" "Thankfully" he smiled "Is everything okay?" "Yes, why wouldn't it be?" "I don't know, you seem shocked" she sat on the bed and opened her juice "I... when I was in the store, two girls came hit on me" "Really?" "Yes, but I turned them down" "That's good"

"Guess so, but I..." he paused "I just... felt weird" she nodded and leaned to kiss his cheek "I'm proud of you. You'll get used to it" "Yeah, probably yeah" she sipped her juice "I must go back to my hotel, have 5.807 kilometers to go through tomorrow" "Very specific... But, yeah, sure! Go get rest" he leaned to peck her lips "See you tomorrow?" "If my wishes come true" he winked "Good! Bye, Lando" "Bye bye" he grabbed his juice and left room 304, full of doubts in his mind 'What if I don't want to get used to it?'.

------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@cmleitora

[delilahcalicocat]

~♡Please Dear ♡~

{Rating: Smut}

{Warnings: Swearing, Use of Sex Toys, Throat Fucking, Dom/Sub dynamic, Pet Name Use, Orgasm Denial, 3-some, Lingerie, Teasing.}

{Pairing: Young Bucks x Fem!Reader}

🚾: 1k+

【Summary: It's Y/N's Birthday, and she feels the need to tease her Boyfriends, only to be taught a lesson by them】

[Y/N's POV:]

It was August 6th, AKA. My birthday, Matt and Nick allowed me to go out shopping without them, little did they know. I went to my favorite store "Mama's Bow-tique", I picked up a bunch of stuff. Including a really cute nightgown!

~♤~ After Y/N arrives home ~◇~

"Happy Birthday Hun." Matt Cooed as he hugged me

"Where the fuck did you go? You were gone for 3 hours!" Nick Asked

"Nicky! Calm down. It's her birthday!" Matt sighed

"Fine." Nick sighed

~♧~ After They Ate Dinner ~♡~

"So what did you buy?" Nick persisted

"I bought a bunch of toys.." I giggled

"What Kind of Toys?" Nick questioned

"Probably Sex Toys-" Matt Added

"Oh... My naughty girl~" Nick Hummed

I felt my cheeks turn red, and my legs clenched on instinct.

{♡}~ That Night ~{♡}

"Ok Ready?" I asked, Standing in the bathroom

"We're ready Y/N" Nick and Matt Said in unison

I walked out in a cute Blue Lingerie set, that had a matching Collar, I pulled on the leash a little and both of my boyfriends sharply inhaled.

That was until they put the newly bought handcuff sets to the headrest on the bed and I was tied up, as Matt held a vibrator to me and Nick fucked my throat Mercilessly.

"We're- Gonna- Teach- You a lesson" Nick Said in between choked out moans

I felt my own pleasure swell up like a bubble in my stomach right as it was about to pop, Matt pulled the Vibrator away from me.

"Ah-Ah Dove. You have to beg for it." He coldly spoke

Nick pulled his cock out of my mouth and sighed "go on doll, beg for it." He chuckled coldly after that

"Fuck! Please Matty! Let me Cum!" I begged to Matt.

"Good Girl, Now go on. Cum." He demanded

That seemed to have coaxed my orgasm straight out and it felt like a breath of air, Until Matt slammed his cock into me. I gasped out sharply only for it to become a gag as Nick continued to Fuck my throat

"Nicky.." Matt Called Batting his eyelashes innocently

"Yes Matt?" Nick said

"Why don't we switch?" Matt proposed

"Just let me" Nick got cut off by his own Orgasm, in which he came down my throat and i took it all

"Now we can switch Matt" Nick said

By the 8th round of the night, I had no more stamina. But somehow these Fuckers could go for thirty more rounds.

"Ohh look how Cock-Drunk our girl is" Matt Cooed

Which pushed me over the edge and caused me to use my last bit of stamina

"Good Girl. Now let's clean up for bed.." Nick Hummed

I glanced at the clock and it read 12:30am, we started at 5:00pm how the actual fuck!?

But Out of the whole ordeal, I got to sleep in my new nightgown, the next morning I woke up to a hum against my body, and saw Nick holding a little bullet vibrator Against me

"Ready for round 10?" He asked

I looked over at the clock and it read 6:00am

"Sure.. I guess" I groggily said

"Good sweetheart, this time we'll be gentler." Matt hummed

I just hope that 6:00am won't bleed into 6:00pm, cause goddamn they know their shit..

A few seconds later, they of course had just begun to get ready for this whole early morning shit. Matt on the other hand, was already Fucking my throat, and Nick was still getting ready to do his shit.

He also had kept the vibrator in contact with my pussy until he finally entered me.

By 6:10am I was a sweaty Moaning mess..

"This good?" Nick asked

"Please Dear, go faster" I begged

"Ok" He did so

Something tells me it's gonna be a long day.

[justjarminsports]

NFL Week 5 Winners and Losers

Photo: Brett Davis-Imagn Images

By: BenJarmin Munguia

Date: October 8th, 2024

Week 5 is over; let's see how badly I did. Do I need to be on this list? Some teams did decent, others tanked, and some might have fans returning the brown paper bags. Let's see who made the list. 

Winner 

Kirk Cousins

Cousin and the Atlanta Falcons held off the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a thriller overtime game on Thursday, scoring 30-36, but quarterback Kirk Cousins had himself a game. Going 42-of-58 for a career-high 509 passing yards and 4 touchdowns, giving the Falcons first place in the NFC South, with a 3-2 record. 

It is also essential to know that even when the Falcons were inducting former Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan into their team's hall of fame, Cousins broke Ryan's passing record that night with 509 passing yards of what was previously set by Matt Ryan with 503 yards in 2016.

Winner

Jacksonville Jaguars 

It only took 5 games, but you won your first game of the year!

Winner

Arizona Cardinals

Impressive road win by the Cardinals, who were struggling at 1-3, able to beat their divisional rivals, the San Francisco 49ers, in the heat at Levi Stadium, 24-23.

This win is interesting because the Cardinals were down by 10 twice and by 13 at halftime. In the second half, the Cardinals' defense shut out the explosive 49ers' offense and forced 3 turnovers, including the game-sealing interception by Cardinals linebacker Kyzir White. This win gives the Cardinals the edge in the NFC West. 

Winner  

Xavier McKinney

Green Bay Packers Xavier McKinney has five interceptions in the season's first five games. He has more interceptions than 24 other teams in the NFL; specifically, he's got more interceptions than the Jaguars, Commanders, and Titans combined.  

Winner

Bryce Ford-Wheaton. 

The New York Giants were up 23-20 with 45 seconds left in the game, while the Seattle Seahawks attempted a game-tying field goal to send the game into overtime. However, this dream came to an end when the Giants blocked Seattle's field goal attempt and Bryce Ford-Wheaton to it in for the score, clinching the Giants' 29-20 victory, moving the Giants to 2-3 on the season while handing the Seahawks their second straight loss of the season, what an ending that was in the Northwest part of the country. 

Winner 

NFL Fans.

If you got up at the crack of dawn to watch the Jets-Vikings play in London, all the way through until the end of the Cowboys-Steelers game on Sunday night football, you are a true winner. Sunday night football ended at 12:55 am ET due to the delay in the start of the game due to inclement weather. The game didn't start at 9:45 am ET, and the Jets-Vikings game started at 9:30 am ET due to the game being played in London, England. 

Losers

Cincinnati Bengals.

Your quarterback should not throw 5 touchdowns, put up 38 points, and still lose. Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow put up 392 passing yards and 5 touchdowns, and the Bengals still could not knock off the Baltimore Ravens to a score of 41-38, and what a game that was.

The Bengals became the fifth team in the last ten years to score 38 points or more and still lose. This is the Bengals' second game this season, where they have scored 30 points or more and still lost. What is going on with that defense? 

Losers

New Orleans Saints.

The Saints had us in the first two games, putting up back-to-back 40-point games. Now, they have lost three straight, not a good look after such a fiery start. Where did all of that go???? Sure, they played the Panthers and the Cowboys defense, but this team has taken a complete 180 since Week 2. 

Losers

Ryan Rehkow.

The Bengals could have won the game with the game-winning field goal if you held the ball right for McPhearson, but now you're 1-4.

Losers

Cleveland Browns

The Browns are 1-4 and might be one of the worst football teams in the league. With the offensive line allowing 18 sacks in the last five games, your 200 million dollar quarterback can have a game where he plays decent, and your head coach won't eleven bother making a change at quarterback for one game???? It won't be long before Cleveland brings back the brown paper bags and has the first pick overall in the next draft. 

Losers

Miami Dolphins.

I never thought how important Tua would be to the Dolphins' offense. Even with Tyreek Hill, Jaylen Waddle, and De'von Achene, the fact that you can't put up over 20 points in a game is mind-boggling. 

The Dolphins have scored only 60 points all season, averaging 12 points per game. I get that your star quarterback is hurt, but with these weapons, you have to be prepared if your quarterback gets hurt. There is too much talent on that team to only put up 60 points through the first five games.  

Was there anyone I missed this week who should be on this list? Let me know.

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

May 2024 Reading Stats

The Calender

🍉🍉Before I start this calendar I want to start a disclaimer and remind people about what's happening in 🍉🍉 Country and that Disney and Marvel should be held accountable. Therefore I will not be recommending The Disney Novel or Marvel Comic. Disney and Marvel need to divest from Is**el for me to fully recommended and show them physically on camera. Please buy Marvel and Disney books second hand if you must have them.🍉🍉

What a month it has been, with how much I've read this month I'm definitely dubbing it the gay month. June should really be the Gay Month but it sadly won't be so I'm glad I made May that month. Starting with the beginning of the month. My reading pattern is that my last read of the month will very clearly dip into the next one but it doesn't bother me. Pageboy was very easy to finish and whilst I got everyone's criticisms I thought they were exaggerated. It's a really good Trans Memoir but not the best. This Arab Is Queer is something I had for my Readalong for Palestine I'm doing and although no one took part I go alot out of this collection and it was a 5 star all the way. Only took 2 days to finish in May and I'm happy about that.

After finishing the 8th Doctor Adventures first season, I decided to dip into the main range and listen to the first too and they were pretty great in my book. The Sirens Of Time was easy to listen to whilst I did an oc sketch and it felt very much like the Classic Who version of Day Of The Doctor. 5,6 and 7 had amazing chemistry together so even though it's the very first audio your bound to gain some laughs. Phantasmagoria is probably one of the best Mark Gatiss content I have consumed and it was very spooky. It was supernatural with that ever loving Doctor Who sci-fi charm that you know and love. Will definitely pop in to more of the main range in the future. I'm only listening to 8s for now.

Cabin At The End Of The World, loved the book but towards the end I didn't enjoy it as much. Let's just say I hate ambiguity, I also hated the audiobook narrator so I had to read along in a quicker speed which was quite the challenge. So as a result it was quicker than my usual 300 + page reads. Welcome To St Hell was another one of my most anticipated reads and it highly delivered. It took a measly Ten Days which was an achievement itself as without chapters it was hard to split up my read as I'm certainly not the finish in one day type of reader. Still though for my first graphic novel it was very very good.

My side reads for this month exactly were very different. One was terrible for its last very transphobic and ableist story and the other was a very educational jam-packed nonfiction about the situation in Palestine and how simple it is thanks to brainwashing. In the end as good as the other two stories were Happs gave me massive brain rot. Fnaf fans are way too forgiving to Scott. On Palestine was great forever to the point I want to give it to my friend to help him understand the situation. I was able to get through it quickly and absorb alot. It was a good recommendation.

Finally my reads tipping into June. Yep no not until Marvel and Disney divest. I feel okay talking about Star Wars cos alot of authors are anti-israel and anti-zionist. If Daniel José Older gets fired I'm going to be done with them too. J.Elle is a really good writer though and I'm definitely gonna look at more of her books.

June's Stats

Wow just wow. May's stats were like a lightning bolt. I did a lot of reading this month and I expect stats like this will be ever so common in the glorious summer stats. So let's break these chunky stats down.

I read 8 books including 6 physical books/graphic novels and 2 Big Finish audios. That's just chock a block impressive and I'm very proud of myself as that's my highest number yet. As pages that too was my highest yet with 1,477 pages which is 489 pages up from last May. Interesting I also only read 3 books in May last year. So this is a very positive sign at how my reading journey is evolving. And of course my highest hours stats with 3.6 hours logged. I dipped into longer big finish audios this month so it makes a lot of sense.

Up next Genres. When I said this was a very gay month I mean it. I read many genres this month; LGTBQIA+, Science Fiction, Memoir, Horror, Young Adult, Thriller, Politics, History, Graphic Novel and Essays but coming on top with a whopping 4 reads was LGTBQIA+. It makes sense I have a lot of lgtbq+ representation on my tbr and this just happens to be a lucky month where I've gotten through quite a few. It also for the first time topped Science Fiction which is not an easy feet to do trust me. In joint second place with only 2 reads was Science Fiction, Horror and Memoir. I'm so glad that I was finally able to get to have a reading month with more diversity in genre. Let's see what June brings.

Mainly reads is still the same for now. I love my adventurous, dark and mysterious books as well as my medium paced books that are under 300 pages.

Again for moods for the first time in forever Reflective comes at top. The moods this month Reflective, Dark, Informative, Mysterious, Funny, Emotional, Adventurous, Tense And Inspiring. As a result of reading a lot of nonfiction this month I was finally able to tip away from my usual adventurous mood. All the nonfiction reads I had were very indeed thought provoking and reflective. In joint second place was emotional and dark which ie expected as I love books that hit me hard in the heart.

Star ratings were all over the place this month it was a very mixed bag month some amazing, some average, some terrible. My overall star rating for the month was 4.22 a minor improvement from May last year where the average rating was 4.17. There's always next May to get the average score up as long as I pick good books. We had two five star reads in This Arab Is Queer and Welcome To St Hell which was well deserved in my opinion. For the first time ever two 4.75 star novels in Phantasmagoria and On Palestine they were close to being 5 star but not quite there for me. Again two four stars in Pageboy and The Sirens Of Time. One 3.75 star thanks to the icky ending and rushed past and of course one 2.5 star novel that deserves the rating. It'll be interesting to see how June's stats compare against this.

May's Reads/Listens

A jam packed reading month indeed. This Arab Is Queer was an incredible Anthology that heavily educated me and sheeded any internalised bigotry over queer arab folk. It was also a very thought provoking and powerful collection of essays it really helped reshaped alot of the views I've had. The Sirens Of Time was a delightful timey whimey multi-doctor story that basically is the classic who version of Day Of The Doctor. Peter Davison, Colin Baker And Sylvester had amazing chemistry, I definitely want to look into more of the main range now.

Pageboy was definitely overhated it did not deserve all the hate and disappointment in my opinion. Its really not that bad at all. I think people are just fustrated about the non linear and him talking about his experiences prior to his transition but I felt like it was a hundred percent nesscary. Trans experiences aren't linear and Elliot did his absolute best trying to show that in his memoir. Phantasmagoria was a really good Big Finish listen and I heavily enjoyed it. Its one of my favourite project of Mark Gatiss's that I have ever seen, he's an absolutely fantastic writer, I don't care what people say I love his stories. This was a really cool supernatural story with Five and Turlough, the twists were generally shocking and it was a fun ride. Highly recommend giving Phantasmagoria a listen if you haven't done.

The Cabin At The End Of The World was better than the movie until a heavy tragic ending that differed from the movie and absorbed the bury your gays trope like a bubble. I love how Wen's povs were actually written in the style of a six year old girl. It was disturbing yess but made this story way too bury your gays trope than it already is. Might be controversial but that's my whole opinion. I also felt like the message contradicted itself is it about the desperation of religions cults or it a positive normalising gay families and about how gay love it powerful enough to save the work. On Palestine is the best book tok recommendation that I have ever been given. I wanted to fully understand the g-side happening in Palestine and all three authors summed it up perfectly. It was also interesting to learn about Propaganda and how its seeded into Israeli youth from a young age. It also heavily talks about the US and other countries and why they ally with Israel, its not what you may think. Props to Noam, Ilam and Frank for their hard work and important discussions.

Finally Happs and Welcome To St Hell. One of these two is 💩 and the other is 10/10. Yeah it's not Happs. What were Scott and team thinking, I know it might not have been intentional but Transphobia is Transphobia regardless wether or not intentional. It made me feel violated and sick and spoil my enjoyment of the other two stories in the collection. It was horror but not in a good way. Welcome To St Hell was my first graphic novel and it slapped. This was another one of my impulse purchases and I'm so glad I did indeed buy it. Terfs tried to review bomb it but I don't give a flying f** about their opinion. The Art was beautiful and I loved that Lewis didn't primarily feed into the Trans trauma trope and tell a sad story. Also The panels where he narrated and talked to his past self had me in tears of laughter cos as a semi masc Nonbinary person I found it so relatable. It's also really educational. A five star that I highly recommend.

Conclusion

A very very good reading month and it might not be a big deal to everyone else but I'm really proud of myself for what I've achieved, I literally think since I first got back into reading its an absolute record for me. Maybe it's a sign I should go out more but honestly I'm not fussed and couldn't care any less.

Big Finish for the future we're tipping into The Charley Arc as I want to listen to more 8 and one 12 and 11 multi Doctor short trip. Crazy thing is though with my audhd brain I already have next years listens planned. Expect a lot and I mean a lot of Big Finish reviews that might just be paced from Storygraph but who cares.

My next five reads as of this blog are Race To Crashpoint Tower, Jamie, A Test Of Courage, War Of The Worlds and Doctor Who: The Deviant Strain. Very excited to see how the rest of the year goes and I'm absolutely loving the lovely templates I've got from @LEEBEE_READS. So much more to come and I really love looking back and reflecting on my reader tastes.

Have a happy Pride Month everyone 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

-Melody-

They/Them

[amalia-uwu]

INFIRMUM

Based on the fanfiction Firsts & Seconds written by Skerbbie @skerbbie

I DON'T OWN UNDERTALE, HORRORTALE, FARMTALE OR

THE FANFICTION FIRST AND SECONDS WRITTEN BY SKERBBIE @skerbbie

The rights go to the respective owners!

Undertale by Toby Fox

Horrortale by Sour Apple Studios

Farmtale by GuinongTale_AU

Firsts & Seconds by Skerbbie @skerbbie 💙

CHAPTER 1| CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 |

CHAPTER 5: (you are here 😁)

Warnings ⚠️ : sick fic, inaccurate medical stuff, light angst, mention of blood.

CHAPTER 5 :

“IMPROVE”

🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸

Note : Alright, I use the term IV (Intra venous) cause it's 'easier' But, since Sticks is a skeleton he doesn't exactly have veins. But I use the term IV anyway.

However, If you want, you could say:

I.B. (Intra Bone)

I.M. (Intra Marrow)

I.S. (Intra Soul)

Do I even make sense? 🤣🤣

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

Enjoy Chapter 5! (Final Part)

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels:

(For 3 days)

Abby visited him and gave him medication.

Due to the sickness he couldn't eat. Abby took care of that by injecting vitamins and nutrients on his IV.

The medicines made him sleepy and unable to talk but he could understand when someone was talking to him.

He could only offer smiles and some signs to communicate.

.

.

Alternately, Papyrus and Axe cleaned/washed his bones.

One would keep him upright and the other would cleaned up his bones. Sticks seemed quite content. He would held the ulna and radius of whoever held him and obey quietly.

Every time he felt bad, Papyrus and Axe would assured him that it's okay and would (gently) clank their skulls affectionately.

.

.

He was still coughing and had fever but it was on, an okay level.

He didn't cough blood. They kept using the ointment.

Little by little his soul began regaining the beautiful emerald green color.

With a lot of rest, care and medication he was improving.

[[ -> Note in this story : Sticks's soul colors are cyan (patience), yellow (justice) and green.

I mostly use green for the reasons below

He is a farmer therefore nature

Kindness

Cyan + Yellow = Green

Edit (October 8th 2023) -> I reread some info about Farmtale and I saw that in Canon Sans's eye turns green. So we stick ;) with green. ]]

.

.

.

On the 4th day,

Abby came and examined him again. She used her special stethoscope (the one she had for skeleton monsters) and gently pressed it on his sternum.

He was under the influence of the medicines so he was quite sleepy.

"Alright Sticks, let's see! I want you to try and take a breath for me. Can you do that?" she asked softly.

Papyrus and Axe were holding him upwards. He offered a small smile and nodded slightly. He breathed as deeply as he could.

She listened carefully and smiled. The medicines were working!

She straightened up "Alright! It seems you are getting better! You will keep taking naps, medicines when needed and in a few more days you will be a whole different skeleton!"

He smiled, " Thank..you " he slurred drowsily. She smiled "My pleasure! Now, you rest!" she bopped his nasal cavity.

Papyrus and Axe gently laid him down. Sticks as soon as his skull touched the soft pillow he fall asleep.

Papyrus had changed the bedsheets and they smelled beautifully. The smell wasn't heavy but soft and pleasant.

"Abby please go rest as well! You can lay on my room! I'll cook something once I'm done with outside. Axe could you please stay with him?". Axe nodded.

Abby smiled "Thank you papyrus!"

"I thank you for healing him Abby!"

She smiled and patted his shoulder softly.

.

Axe carefully laid next to Sticks. He looked so peaceful. Axe gently stroked his left cheekbone. Sticks smiled in his sleep.

Axe smiled back and closed his own eyes. His hand resting on Sticks's.

.

.

.

Papyrus went outside and as usual he did some work, checked the animals, fed them and added water. He watered the flowers and plants that needed it.

Eventually he visited Brinley. At the sight of him she walked close to him and gently rubbed her face on his shoulder, chest and head.

"He is getting better! Brinley!" he patted her face gently and she huffed happily.

The happiness had no boundaries "You are not going to judge me if I cry a little.. Right?"

She huffed sympathetically and brought him closer. He hugged her face and the tears of happiness ran down his eye sockets.

He patted her neck and side a little more. He added grass and water. He caressed her again "I need to go now girl, I'll check on you again later alright?" she huffed in agreement.

.

.

(An hour or so later)

He returned back home.

Abby was sitting on the table. She had checked Sticks up again and things were getting better. Axe was still sleeping next to him peacefully.

"How is he?" he whispered.

"He is getting better, I'll remove the IV later and leave some vitamins and painkillers just in case" she whispered back.

He smiled "I don't know how to thank you Abby, Thank you!"

She smiled back "Don't mention it Stones"

"I'll wash these and began cooking, prepare yourself for my wonderful spaghetti". He lifted his finger high and blew his chest. His eye sparkling. She chuckled and playfully shook her head.

Papyrus cooked spaghetti with vegetables and greens for Abby and he added more meat to Axe's plate.

Stones whispered "Bitey, it's time for lunch! Come and eat!" Axe opened his eyes and looked at Papyrus's direction.

He nodded and stretched. A part of him didn't want to leave Sticks alone but his stomach complained.

He looked at Sticks who was sleeping soundly and smiled "Be right back" he whispered and carefully pressed a kiss on his cheekbone. He got up and joined the others.

They had a pleasant meal.

.

As they were eating Abby's eyes landed on the vitamins that were on the counter. "Stones? Is Sticks taking those?" she asked pointing with the back side of the fork at the small orange bottle.

Papyrus looked where she was pointing "Yeah.. why?" he raised his eyebrow.

"They are good vitamins but they can cause trouble in sleeping. You said he had trouble sleeping, if I remember correctly, right?"

Stones nodded.

"where did he get them?" Abby asked forking a brocoli on her plate.

Papyrus looked at his plate. He grimaced pensively. He looked left and right trying to remember. "Angie gave them to him when you weren't there". He held no malice or annoyance.

"Oh! forgive her! She is still learning" she lowered her head.

"Nah it's okay, they were good vitamins, if we put aside the sleeping issue, they gave him a lot of energy" he waved his hand.

"I'll give you other vitamins that will have same effects and still help him get a good night sleep" she smiled while cutting a little piece of bread with her hands.

"Thank you Abby!" he smiled.

.

.

.

.

When they finished, she checked on him again. The IV had ended. She slowly removed it and added a small bandaid on the spot.

She let the pills and medicines and waved her goodbyes.

.

.

.

(Next day)

Papyrus had woken up earlier. He looked at the clock (5.00 AM)

He shuffled and got up. He tiptoed to Sans's room and peeked his head in. Sans was still sleeping. Axe was sleeping next to him on the chair. Papyrus looked at his brother, he seemed better, his bones looked better, his breathing sounded better..

He fixed the covers and gently pressed a kiss on his forehead. Sticks smiled and hummed in his sleep.

He went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. He poured a cup of coffee and sat by the window watching the sunrise.

He kept checking on him.

.

(Around 10 o clock in the morning)

The rays of sun illuminated the room. Sans opened his eyes, blinked and checked his surroundings.

The memories of what had happened the last few days came to his mind.

He touched his left hand, seems like Abby had removed the IV. He looked at the bedside table and noticed the painkillers and vitamins.

He carefully got up and stretched. Some of his bones/joints popped. He felt slightly stronger and quite hungry too.

He turned on his left and saw Axe sleeping on the chair very close to him. Sticks smiled fondly.

He could hear Papyrus in the kitchen.

He sat on bed, his feet touching the floor, he leaned forwards a little and fixed their blankets.

At some point Axe opened his eyes.

"Good morning Sticks " he said sleepily and went back to sleep.

Sticks grinned and replied "good morning as well Axe". He saw Axe smiling in his sleep.

Axe opened his eyes again and blinked. He slowly looked at Sticks.

Sticks gave him a grin. Axe kept staring. Sticks waved at him smiling "Hi".

Axe blinked his expression morphed into excitement.

.......

His happiness had no limits he jumped on him and threw him back on bed. "STICKS!" he exclaimed happily.

"WOAH HEY!" he chuckled.

Axe squeezed him in his embrace. Sticks hugged him back, his hands resting on Axe's scapulae "So... You missed me that much? Huh?" he didn't mind. The hug felt nice.

Axe nodded "You gave us quite the scare" he whispered.

Sans sighed "I know, I'm sorry" he gently caressed Axe's back.

"It's okay! Just be careful from now on!" Axe rested his head on Sticks's chest.

After a few minutes an idea came to Sticks's mind "Hey, uhm could you please help me surprise my brother?"

Axe nodded and smiled.

They heard the clangs and clings in the kitchen. Axe offered his hand. Sticks took it and with a soft pull, Axe pulled him on his feet.

He wrapped one hand over his shoulder to keep him from falling.

They reached the kitchen. Papyrus had his back turned chopping some vegetables.

He kept checking the clock.

Sans slowly walked behind him and gave him a hug "Surprise! Gotcha!"

Papyrus jolted at the sudden hug. "Eep!" he looked under his arm. It took him a few seconds and turned around.

"SANS!!"

He wrapped him in his arms, squished him, lifted him and made a spin!

Papyrus was grinning and hugging his big bro. Sans wasn't complaining, he was in fact enjoying this. Axe was watching amused.

Papyrus stopped and spoke quietly

"My lovely brother! You gave me quite the fright.." he didn't let go. He hugged him a little tighter.

"I know, I am sorry" Sans rested his mandible on Papyrus's shoulder

"Do you feel better?" Axe asked softly.

Sans nodded "Yes, thanks to you all" he smiled.

Papyrus lowered him but kept him in his hug. He motioned for Axe to join. He hugged Sticks from behind.

They stayed like this for a few minutes. Sticks was sandwiched between the two of them. They said nothing.

Papyrus realized that his brother hadn't eaten properly. He let go of the hug. He gently held him by the shoulders.

"YOU HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING EEEEEEHHH!! Worry not lovely brother! I'll make you the best soup you have ever tasted".

Sans hugged him again "You are the best bro! you know that right?"

"Nyehehe! Of course!" he smiled and hugged him back, patting his shoulder.

"Sit here brother I'll prepare something for you".

Axe sat down next to him.

Papyrus sliced some fruits; bananas, strawberries, apples, kiwis, peaches. All from the garden.

He took a plate and filled it with warm vegetable soup.

He took the fresh bread he had prepared before and last but not least a glass water. He put them on the table. He gave Axe a plate as well.

"Here you go brother!" he offered him the plate. Sticks took it gratefully and enjoyed the meal happily.

He realized he was starving. He stuffed his mouth without shame. Papyrus smiled "slow down, last thing I want is for you to get choked!"

He blinked and slowed down. He kept enjoying the food contently.

Axe and Papyrus chuckled. They were happy. They sighed with relief.

.

.

The rest of the day, they helped him move around the house. He needed a little exercise to get his strength back.

.

.

.

.

Day by day he grew stronger and stronger.

His appetite was slowly returning.

When they saw that he could go outside, they decided to take him for a walk.

It's been a while since he left home. It will do him good to change the scenery. Papyrus prepared some snacks.

Then got dressed in Jean overalls with a red checkered flannel matched with a peach scarf, his red boots and straw hat.

Sans put on a green shirt, Jean floral overalls, blue jacket, black boots and his straw hat..

Axe put on a shirt that was a gift from Sticks. The shirt was black and had cartoonish axes on it.

They gathered up in the living room. Papyrus checked the place one last time and exited the house.

.

.

.

Before the walk, however, they visited someone.

Brinley!

Papyrus peeked in,

"Oh Brinley!" his voice cheerful. He and Axe walked in.

She gave him a questionable look.

"Look who we have here?"Axe and Papyrus pointed with opened arms as Sans walked in. "Tadaaa!"

He waved at her. "Heya baby!" She huffed happily and walked quickly at his direction. She showered him with affection.

"I missed you too my baby girl!" he said and patted her neck. She gently put her head over his shoulder and brought him closer. She rubbed her head on his shoulder, chest and face.

He rubbed his face on her neck lovingly. She huffed happily.

She gently laid down and rolled left and right. He laid on top of her. He patted her softly. Soon the rest joined the patting.

After some minutes. She got up and went to eat.

"See ya later sweetheart!" he waved goodbye. She huffed happily.

.

.

.

They walked for some minutes. Until they reached the landscape where there were flowers, a waterfall and mountains. The soft wind caressing their bones.

They sat under the tree, enjoying the view. After some time of catching their breaths they ate poutine. Then, enjoyed their juices.

They shared stories and adventures, some of them being their first year as farmers.

Some memories that comforted and accompanied him.

Axe listened amused. He as well shared some stories that brought him nostalgia.

.

.

Thereafter, they walked towards the flowers and grass.

They laid between the grass. The sun warming their bones. (Around 16.00 pm - 16.30 pm time)

They stayed there until the sun began setting.

They shuffled and sat under the tree. They watched the sunset while eating pouding chômeur.

The sun slowly set behind the mountain.

Sticks was sitting between the two of them. Axe on the left. Papyrus on the right.

They hugged Sticks.

Sticks closed his eyes, grateful for his beloved brother and his wonderful partner.

He was the happiest skeleton on the entire Monsterkind.

Photo by Sachin C Nair from Pexels.

.

End of Chapter 5 (Final Part)

Comments, Constructive Criticism, Feedback is welcomed!

CHAPTER 4

💙 ¡Thank you for reading! 💙