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messwriting · 4 years

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Written for The Smut Pile Collab: Western AU | MASTERLIST HERE.

(i'm gonna make you) feel it

a.k.a. ✨ MAKKI’S ADVENTURE TIME ✨

Hanamaki “Big Tease” Takahiro x Female Reader

Rating: E for explicit | Don’t read this if under eighteen.

Warnings: Porn With Plot. Corruption Kink. Reader’s engaged to be married - a bride. Cheating. Highly inappropriate touching and dancing moves (that’s their job tho). Alcohol. Completely unresearched strippers industry. Lowkey exhibitionism. Fucking in a public space (private room). Fingering. Oral sex. SMUT: Doggy style over a sofa. Makki’s a little shit. Overuse of the word “cute” (for real, so many times omg).

Word count: ~7.3k

Note: Saint Dymphna and poor little me would like to introduce you all to the: 🤠 LAWBREAKERS MULTIVERSE 🤠

So, @dymphnasprose basically came at me with: “what about we take cowboys and make them skskskskskssk like magic mike style strippers” and thus was born the wicked duo newest adventure. We had a lot of fun (and a lot of panic) but here it is! Anyone asks why I’m doing two once again it’s also dymph’s fault and my sheer love for Iwaizumi. Also, dymph I love u and I’ve had lots of fun doing this little group project together🥺💕

That being said I’d also like to thanks @mixedhell who once again is a mage of dialogue and helped me several times; Tay, my love @deathcab4daddy, who helped beta part of this and also @xmyshya who was kind enough to beta this too <3

Makki’s songs: Cowboy Casanova (dymph’s courtesy) + Feel it

You can also read: IWAIZUMI | MATTSUN

Hanamaki is focused.

He surveys the screaming crowd inside the packed nightclub, sees the different groups occupying the big booths, the pretty decorations that never fail to distinguish his targets inside the dimly lit room.

Makki likes the meaning behind the different outfits and colors; the details merging into the allegory of remarkability, crafting the idea of uniqueness in their special day where screams of freedom swimming inside intoxicated heads build a tendency into wildness. In building lasting memories of a singlehood that doesn’t really exist anymore, into falling prey of sexy, large men who could take them into a one-time intoxicating memory that they can savor into the end of times.

Marriages can end, Makki thinks, but memories like the ones he makes are forever.

And tonight he has already found the one.

You must be the prettiest little thing he has seen in months, all beautifully clad in a sparkling white party dress, a sexy slit that shows the classical frilly garter adorning your thigh, with a golden black banner that announces for the whole world that you’re taken, soon to be married and enjoying your bachelorette party. It’s almost a challenge, really.

Great. That’s exactly how he likes it.

A brilliant and ridiculous white cowboy hat decorated to leave a tacky gown falling from your head is perched on the table where your small group sits, about eight women dressed in black and a beautiful entourage of bridesmaids if he ever saw one, but it’s you; cute, happy little you who blushed at the very first look at his partially naked torso when all Hanamaki did was pass by your table in his low cut jeans and open flannel shirt, a tilt of his cowboy hat made with half a mind to compliment the ladies until his eyes laid on you.

Your bright eyes had shined with embarrassment at your interest, chest filling with a renewed pull of air at the mere sight of him, a burning in your face that he could notice even in the poorly lit room, flashing lights giving him just the best of peeks -- your plush lips punished by the row of white teeth that closed around the soft muscle and pulled.

That was all he needed, the smallest of sights and still, the biggest of hints.

You were going to be his tonight. He’ll taint that pristine white and you’ll beg for his every move, he knows it just as he knows the women will scream for him as soon as he steps on the stage.

And, in fact, that will be sooner rather than later.

He’ll make sure of it.

The loud music is pulsing through his body, like waves crashing against his skin, his heart seemingly beating alongside the bass in deep, sexy strokes of the R&B music echoing through the club. The youngsters are doing their dance, a coordinated thing between the six newbies of the Club, while Makki and Mattsun wait by the side of the backdoor of the stage, ready to take their places in the next performance.

“Anyone in your sights yet?” Issei asks him as he passes him the bottle of water, which Takahiro puts on top of one of the structures before sending a small grin at the dark-haired man. They’ve been here for four years now, and they have joined the place together, looking to make a good buck while going to College. Stripping is fun, easy, and profitable when you’re young and hot and Matsukawa and Hanamaki are nothing else but.

“The one by the left, the table with the tacky cowboy hat and the golden balloons.”

“A fan of the work, I see.” Matsukawa pulls the curtain to the side just an inch, his eyes quickly surveying the space and centering on the acquired target. Makki knows exactly what he’s seeing, a table filled with a group of beautiful women and you in white shining over them all, the balloons above the wall seeming way more ridiculous once he knows about Makki’s plan of action.

One dick for life. Ha.

“Poor little thing doesn’t know what she’s in for tonight.” Mattsun’s grin is mischievous and all-knowing. Hanamaki has a type, it’s a running joke, but every good joke starts from a glimmer of truth. And in Makki’s case, it may as well be the truth itself.

“And that’s a sexy little group.”

“Yeah, it is. But you already have plans for tonight, don’t you. I’ve heard about it from Oikawa.”

Mattsun doesn’t answer, only a chuckle and a lopsided grin marking his face as he keeps studying the crowd.

The group performance wraps up quickly, being one without public interaction and soon enough Oikawa is making a show, threading between the public with his mic, hyping the crew out with just the right few words.

The lights start going down, softly casting the audience in shadows while the stage is tinged in bright colors before becoming red and by the time people’s eyes are focusing at the center again, Hanamaki and Matsukawa have taken their places.

The music starts to play, soft and calm, pulsing through the bodies of everyone as their eyes focus on the attractive duo in center stage. They’re not supposed to end up naked yet, that’s saved for the end, but as the choreography flows, sharp hip movements, thrusting motions like ocean waves crashing on rocky shores, still get women screaming at the top of their lungs enough for it all to merge with the song as if it’s part of the original bass.

Makki’s wearing a half-opened plaid flannel shirt with nothing under it, and he pops every remaining button open along to the song, the screams getting louder. His jeans are tight enough that every plane of muscle is noticeable, and his belt is black and striking, with a big, bull-shaped buckle. Later he’ll change his outfit to leather chaps and a vest, but right now, he’s more laid back. He looks good, he knows it, but the appreciation in your eyes as you coily drink his from from across the room is like a fucking golden star on his pride.

On top of his head, locked tight, it’s his pinched front cowboy hat. As Makki throws it in the air and catches in the middle of dancing, the screams engulf him from all sides.

But everything else is fading to the back of his mind as his eyes find yours in the dark, the appreciative, enthralled shine in them not lost to Makki. Could never be lost to Makki, who holds onto it as if it’s a life-line; You’re interested.

Ok, that’s good. But it’s also the basics.

Makki twirls and fall on the floor, hips fucking into nothing as the crowd goes insane. He kneels on stage, his shirt flying to the spectators; two women take hold of it, pulling in contrary directions until it rips.

Makki throws you a wink, every woman in that direction claiming it as theirs. You, however, shrug into yourself, eyes looking away as your hands tight their hold around the champagne glass they’re holding. You’re so cute, hands in front of your face as if that would keep you from staring. Makki feels himself glowing, growing excited at the mere sight of your scurrying eyes as they choose the floor instead of his body.

So fucking pure.

Takahiro wants to force you to look up and revel in the guilty desire he’s bound to find there. There’s no need to avoid him if he doesn’t charm you, that’s the beauty of soon-to-be brides. There’s such a deep will inside them to be faithful to the allegory of a husband they do not have yet, lost in a daydream of happiness in finding the one when they haven’t even tasted anything but. Makki eyes the golden balloons floating around the table while he dances -- one dick forever.

Poor little thing. He can’t let that happen, can he?

When Makki hops off the stage and walks over to your table between deafening screamings and pleads for him to take them, instead, his hand closes around your dainty little one, adorned with pretty french nails and just a single golden ring and even the soft, smooth skin of your hand against his rugged palm is a thrill inside his veins.

Your eyes are shining, nervousness sweeping from them as they lock with his. Hanamaki tries to be lowkey, giving you a reassuring smile supposed to be nice, to be trusting -- a complete disconnect of the way his guts stirs in the excitement of your touch.

He lowers his lips to your ears, pretends the way his nose runs over the shell is a mere accident. “Let’s go for a ride, sweetheart.”

Your lips fall open by the side of his face and Makki can feel the way you suck a breath, a little gasp ruining your efforts when he lets his lips brush against your jaw. Another accident, whoops. He’s such a careless boy, isn’t he?

Your teeth punish your bottom lip as your eyes seem to look anywhere but him, trembling hands as you seem half-way into telling him no. Makki can't have that, though. He brings his face to look deep in your eyes, a lopsided smile he can manoeuvre into being just the right amount of kind by now.

"You're not gonna let me go up there alone, will you?" He almost pouts, big hands finding their way on your arms in up and down motions that drag just the right amount of trembles from you for him to know he's winning. "There's no fun without you, sweet girl."

He dips his lips onto the shell of your ear once again, just in time to hide his mischief. "You're the star of the show. I'm just your ride."

That seems to make you giggle and Makki uses that to bring his grin into your view, palms sliding down your arms to clasp your hands and - finally - guide you up with him.

One thing Makki knows is that he likes his brides sweet.

Pliant.

And as you get up and follow him quietly and sheepish, clumsy tripping over yourself when some of your bridesmaids erupt in cheers, he knows he is right once again -- you’re just his type.

Thing is, Makki doesn’t waste time. He makes you twirl in your high heels just to have you falling in his arms, he picks you up without effort, a little gasp breaching your lips as your hands plant against his chest.

Makki just has to grin at the way in which you close your palms and retreat them back to yourself, quick, burning up in a beautiful, delicious expression of shame. Fuck, he wants to make you beg.

When he’s at the stage, he drops you on your feet with enough aggression to get you to slide straight to the floor, unsteady knees opening under you until your ass is planted on the stage.

Makki thinks your open mouthed expression, little breaths breaking through your lips as your anxious eyes stare up at him, have to be the best thing he’s seen in a while. And he’s just starting.

He bends at the waist, his hands to reach your knees and push them open, your bright little white dress sliding up so much he can steal a peek at your fancy underwear.

Such a vixen, aren’t you? All wrapped in lace.

Makki lets himself fall on top of you and you gasp, even as he stays holding himself in a plank, not one bit of skin touching yours. The song is pumping, slow and sexy even if the screams sound louder in the close space. He twists his hips, the rolling motion has them right between your juicy thighs. You’re forced to keep them wide open and the way in which you look mortified just may be what ends him.

Makki drops his knees in the ground, lets the screams wash over him as he drags his hips against your center, soft, then hard. His hands by the side of your head, his toned chest right in front of your face. He knows by the way his skin burns that you’re staring at him -- good, he wants to be the center of all your attention tonight.

Your hands are in front of yourself as if you’re afraid at your own excitement, eager eyes looking for his in a wirlwind of emotions and it makes his fucking skin erupt with goosebumps that the most noticiable one is desire.

Oh, Makki’s going to wreck you. The song turns frantic just as he comes to slide over your body, nose trailing along your collarbone and chest, teeth nipping at your clothes as if he would prefer to be doing it to your skin instead, and he feels the way your shame almost consumes you, body shaking as he finally reaches destination: right above your beautiful open thighs, so close he can almost taste you.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last. And Makki is forced by the choreography to climb back up your body even as he lets his hands linger a bit too close to your clothed center, every woman around screaming as if they can read his mind.

He gets back up and kneels between your open legs, thrusting in time with the music as if he’s actually still thinking about choreography and not in doing this to you later. You’re growing more embarrassed by the moment, your whole body burning and tense, but responsive to his movements and, better yet, his smiles.

His body is used to the motions, to swirling and grinding and thrusting in a wave motion, crashing over your hips time and time again until your lips fall open, and he knows he hit the jackpot.

Makki holds himself in a plank again, his skin turning clammy with the exertion, but he angles his crotch just right and has you singing a groan for him again -- then turning bright with shame in sequence.

Such a precious little thing indeed.

The ground choreo ends way too soon for Makki’s wishes, but he’s soothed by the way in which you let yourself be picked up, hands clinging to his shoulders with such a fierce hold he almost wants to test it out. He throws you up for a moment, relishes in your nails at his back, and his forearms hold you by the underside of your knee, closing on your hips.

And that makes your pretty little clothed cunt roll right against his semi-hard on. There’s a ripping sound, probably your slit getting wider to acomodate your open legs and thus, him.

Lovely.

Makki rolls his hips, right against your center once, and the crowd erupts in screams just as he starts mimicking fucking you standing. A beautiful option he saves in the back of his mind for later.

You let out a yelp, then proceed to try and hide your head against his neck, your pretty mouth gliding against his skin gives him such a high he almost loses the tempo of the song. He tells you to hold on and plants his hands on your bare ass, lifting you until he can have you in front of his face, a bit uncomfortable move but one that has every single woman in the club wet -- it’s in the air by now, and he can smell it. The idea makes his skin prickle, your hands holding his hair for dear life as if you’re afraid to fall, but your clothed cunt is right there, and he can’t pass the opportunity to steal a little touch as he pretends your hold is what pushes his head flush against your pussy.

You let out a beautiful sound almost in time with the song, and he is letting you fall once again on his arms, the smile on his lips the last nail on your pure coffin.

And unfortunately that means time’s up.

Makki lets your legs fall but holds you by your waist, depositing you on your own two feet at the stage and snickering at how your legs falter to hold you up on the high heels. So, as a gentleman, he takes your hand in his, helps you down the few steps on the stage, almost groans at how your hand seems to not want to let him go.

Before he leaves you, he pulls your hand into his lips, absolutely glowing at how breathless you look from the little action after he literally ravished you on stage. It physically pains him that he needs to pick up another bride into his show.

“See you later, pretty one.”

Under you, your legs are faltering, knees trembling like a newborn deer as you’re left alone to fend for yourself in the long path back to your table. Women congratulate you, screaming on your sides at the men who was almost fucking you dumb on stage and his friend, as they continue their show.

Your heart is beating in your ears, leaving you stupid and lost as you’re finally - finally - rescued by your friend, who brings you back to the table with loud congratulations and happy cheers. You feel your body sweating and throbbing, weirdly pulsating for something you can’t name.

Recognizing it would make it real and you cannot believe that after five years in a nice relationship with your only boyfriend and soon-to-be-husband, this is the first time you feel this wet.

You plop down on the closest seat, hands pressing to your chest as you try to both fan yourself and hide behind them. It proves, as expected, a hard task.

Your childhood friend has arrived and you hug her sideways, the short conversation you two exchange somehow lost to your poor heated brain as your eyes keep sliding to center once again at the stage.

The way he dances on stage feels overwhelming, this bride-to-be suffering way less touching and grinding than you, as “Big Tease Makki” stays standing up, his hands groping everywhere in his sculpted body as he dances to the sensual song, including the considerable bulge in his pants.

Something flashes and he turns his head your way so sharply you feel the need to melt further on the sofa, poorly hiding away as everyone around you cheers once again.

His eyes on you were burning a hot trail that slithers over your warm skin even in the dark, the ghost of a feeling of touch, erupting goosebumps along their way as they circle your neck and dip down your side, strutting over your chest to end by your face. Even in the distance, you swear you can feel the way those lips slip into an easy grin, satisfied at the way they have you breathless and weak by thought alone.

The idle chatting of your friends, excited and drunk are dulled by the pounding of your heart inside your chest, and you feel constricted by their presence on your sides at the booth, both ways filled with testimony to your inner turmoils-- can they see your sinful thoughts while they stay that close to you? Can the pounding of your heart and the heat in your face be felt at such a short distance?

The mere idea that they can pry inside your skull and discover the sinful dreams unfolding is too much for you right now, your spine shooting up while you balance yourself in your pretty heels and ask in a meek, nervous voice for the girls to let you pass. Some ask if you need help or if you’re going to the bathroom, and in both options it feels like you’re going to be flanked immediately, so you deny it and say you have to make a quick phone call about something you forgot to confirm and they all nod away, drunkenly squealing for you to be quick.

You’re almost free when one of your bridesmaids, your childhood friend, looks up at you with puzzled eyes.

“Hey, everything's okay?” She’s not drunk, only happily buzzed with sparkling wine, but her eyes are attentive when they lay on your face, worry etched in her brow as she looks for hints hidden in your dolled up face.

“Yeah, just need to take a breather.” You give her what you hope is a reassuring smile even as sweat drips down your back, but the place is dark and loud and she lets you go without much prodding. The place is full and swarming with women, groups of men present but fewer, waiters clad in skimpy clothing as they work the tables full of drinks, shots and champagne. Some are flirtatious, charming smiles along with muscles as they sweep women off their feet and leave their wallets thinner; others are pretty serious, and the mysterious aura has their pull, the ecstasy of conquest working as an aphrodisiac.

You pull past the bodies, feeling a bit light headed as your chest pounds and the booze traverse your body, clumsy steps on too-high-heels you’re not used to, but your bridesmaids had pushed you to wear along with screams to live a little and say hello to the last night before you’re a proper married lady. You’ve never really felt the weight of those words as the last two days, tasting for the first time the sweetness of night as you’ve never before.

If brown, bored eyes make a appearance in your mind as you flee to the corridor leading to the private rooms and women’s bathroom, you’re quick to stop the train of thought before it leads down a muscular torso clad in a tight jeans with a firm ass and a hot, big cock that humped against you in every opportunity while he took you to the stage.

A drop makes it way past your cunt lips to stain your fancy underwear and you groan, ashamed. You’ve never felt this unbecoming need before, the arousal so thick your breasts seem to be heavy against your ribcage, dress feeling too tight on your heated, oversensitive skin.

You’re reaching the curve left that will take you to the bathroom when big hands engulf your frame, palm over your mouth and you’re pulled inside one of the private rooms, too breathless to even make a sound.

“Howdy,” his voice sounds right by your ear, as you’re caged against a burly body and the closed, probably sound-proof door. “Got a fugitive here.”

“Uhh, sir, I--”

“Sir?” He laughs, head thrown back prettily as you drink the arch of his throat. “Oh my god, call me Makki, pretty one.”

The petname makes you flush, tongue heavy and clumsy in your mouth around words. “Uh… Makki, I’m sorry but I, ah…” You fumble with your hands, avoiding touching him, eyes downcast as you try to also avoid even looking at him. It’s too much, he seems everywhere.

“You’re engaged? I can see that, love. You have a banner right there.” He sounds so nice, mischief and boyish glee as he stands way too close to you.

“Then you understand…”

“I understand this is your last night of freedom, right? The last chance for you to be bad,” He breathes against your jaw as he noses along your skin to your ear, his cowboy hat gliding softly against the side of your face, “To be wild.”

Your mouth opens and closes but not a single sound comes out, your brain completely lost to the science of mixing letters into words. All you can think about is how your blood seems to be galloping in your veins, the pounding of your heart so oppressingly loud the beat of the song seems to mimic it and not the contrary.

You are lost to everything but the unbelievable feeling of painful arousal, so sharp and deep your bones seem to be melting out of their places and dripping into the outside by your cunt.

“But,” Leaves your lips dumbly and Makki’s fingers silence you, his lips so close you can taste his every exhale, the flap of his hat managing to blind your vision to anything past his face.

“You’re going to be married to the exact same man forever, sweetheart. You can let go one night. One night for you to feel good.” Makki licks at your throat and your lips fall open with a shameless moan as you burn with shame. “Has he ever made you feel this hot, sweetie? Hm? Have you ever even felt like this? It’s your last chance tonight, right? Don’t lose it.”

Makki’s hands massage their way down your sides, grabbing at the flesh of your hips, brushing your ass, and you’re dead silent as you drool away in your panties. Unable to think, unable to speak, embarrassment clogging your throat together with an impossible, unacceptable yes.

“C’mon, sweetie, let me take care of you.” It’s a plea, and he knows your chest will hurt with the same need that is in his tone. “Just this one time, so you can know what it feels like… how great it can be.”

“One time.” He promises you, earnest eyes boring into yours and, dumbly, enchanted, you nod… and agree.

Well, Makki ain’t waiting around for you to change your mind.

His hands loop around your thighs immediately, pressing you against the door until he can press his body between your open legs. The slit of your dress gives in just the little bit needed to allow his hips to make their way against your core, his lips busying themselves with planting kisses along the arch of your neck, teeth nibbling at the lobe of your ear, tongue gliding over the shell.

His breathing is soft, but so close it feels like it engulfs the room, slithering inside your head and scrambling your thoughts. His crotch presses against your center enough to hold you high and open, one of his hands relieved of their place as it climbs your side and closes around your jaw, angling your head back until you’re trapped between his face and his chest.

You shudder, eyes fluttering closed as if you cannot hold them open, and Makki feels his skin prickling, warmth spreading from his limbs to his chest and down his hips to center themselves at his burning length. You’re such a little vixen, all big eyes and open mouthed staring at him while he has hardly done anything.

He can barely wait to see how you’ll burn when he buries his face in your pussy.

Right now, though, Makki reigns in his excitement, fingers caressing your cheeks until your pretty eyes open up again, dazed. There’s just something about getting pretty little things like you to yield, to breathe out as his lips plant themselves carefully, softly, against your cheek, then the line of your jaw, your chin and your nose.

Every little kiss has you getting restless, trembling in his arms while your hands close around his shoulders, painful little welts that he loves to see. Such desperation.

It’s really the best.

His lips press against the corner of your wobbling plush lips and you shudder, but they push it back, and when Makki finally decides to kiss you, you’re opening your mouth in your eagerness, tongue lapping awkwardly at his lips as he chuckles and decides it’s time to stop playing.

When he kisses you then, you gasp, precious little sound leaving you as if you had no idea you could even make it, and then you’re melting against him, pressing against his chest as his mouth works its wonders on yours, tongue circling, searching, sucking. He nips at your lips, steals all the short bits of breath from your lungs until you’re writing against him, pressing sinful hips against his crotch in such a desperate way it’s endearing.

The hand on your thigh dips further under your dress, finds the plush meat of your ass and engulf it in its palm, delighted at how inexistent is the small little thing you’re wearing and how fucking delicious it feels. His fingers dig into your bottom until you break the kiss to gasp at how easily he can slip his long indicator from your ass to your pussy.

It’s his time to lose his air at how fucking wet you are, ruined fancy panties and moist thighs.

“Oh god, look at that. Little bride is so wet for this cowboy.”

You make a face, lips pursing in an awkward turn and coily shifting to look down, appraising looks on his chiseled chest. “Okay this one was bad!” Makki offers with an easy smile, the hand on your neck dipping into your breasts, palms pressing on your chest as he turns his focus on circling the hard nipple through your clothes, closing around the plush meat until your offending honest little lips part once again to him. He can see in the turbilion of your eyes how you’re still swirling against guilt, holding back from him.

“But can you blame me? Look at me.” He makes a mention with his head towards the big bulge straining his tight jeans, which have you unconsciously looking down, his hand sliding over your jaw to tilt your head up to meet his eyes, charming, easy-going smile in his lips. “Look at you.”

He rolls his hips once against your sex, feels the blistering heat even through layers of clothes but he’s done this enough to know exactly where to aim, having a moan escaping through the tight cage of your lips before you can hold everything else in by the lock of your teeth.

He can’t have that, though. He thrives on applause after all.

“Now, beautiful, I’ll need you to stop that right there.” His fingers dip under you to slide against the soiled fabric clinging to your folds and you all but tense, melting after as if you cannot conceive how good is his mere touch. “I want to hear you, c’mon.” Your eyes drop on his in hurt, but you free your bottom lip, mouth imediatelly falling open around a groan as Makki presses aimless around the entrance of your sex. Damn, Makki likes this.

“Yes, like that. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” His cock is straining against his boxers already, length rolling in perfect aimed strokes over the apex of your sex as his fingers thread on the outline of your beautiful cunt and when he dips inside a single fingertip, your sex and hands cling to him, all the beautiful curves of your body against his and he just-- He wants to see.

“Ok, dinner time!” Makki chuckles as he brings his hands once again to hold you firmly by your thighs, fingers spread enough to keep rolling against the edges of your cunt.

“Wha-What?” You give a charming yelp at the way he holds you effortlessly while abandoning the door to walk over to the couch. It’s just a cheap upholstered thing in front of the circular stage with the pole hanging from the ceiling, but it’s just the perfect length for what he needs.

He lets you fall, open and disheveled over it, legs spread to show the lace he saw earlier, stained and soiled after just a bit of makeout.

“You’re so cute.” It’s mockingly, really; meant to be a jab at how you’re so hazed and undone by just a few moves of his, but the way in which your doe eyes thread up to him, shiny and unfocussed; your hands closing around your frame as a hand plants in front of your breasts is just… cute. There’s no other word. You’re just a cute little thing and he wants your demise.

Makki groans and pulls you to the edge of the sofa by your legs, easily dropping between your thighs in a wave move, face planting itself on your breasts to suck at sweaty clothes, teeth pulling the fabric down until your nipples peek through and he sucks them inside his mouth, too.

You tremble so easily, even worse when he abandons it to nose his way down your body tightly clad in the white dress, kisses over your belly until he’s nosing at your clothed cunt, open mouth kisses adding to the moistness in your poor underwear.

“Delicious.” Makki says for no reason other than to state his thoughts, tongue rolling over the clothed slit as if its skin, reveling in how your poor legs start to shake, needing the aid from his hands spreading them to finally stop. “Tell me, honey, have your fiancé ever fucked you good? Hm?”

The mention makes you stiff, head pressing to the side of the sofa as if you’re fighting a battle inside your own mind, triggered by the piece of trivia question.

“I bet he hasn’t,” Makki laughs, nosing at your pussy with such pressure his whole face gets smeared in your juices. “Is he your first boyfriend? Tell me more.”

“I--how do you--” You stutter through bitten lips, truth tipping out once he easily spreads you open with his thumbs on each side. “Yes.”

“What a waste, such a wet fucking pussy and not one single effort from your hubby to-” Makki pulls your underwear aside, tongue lolling out to lick a long strip from your entrance to your clit, “lick”, once, it”, twice, “clean.” and thrice.

You let out a cute little noise and he gets impatient, pulling the lace at the side with enough force it rips easily under his hand. Your indignant noise doesn’t even sound right, lost in a moan at the way he closes his lips around your clit and brings his tongue to play with it fast. His hand presses harder on the skin of your thighs, leaving you open as a present, ripe and wide.

If Makki says he eats pussy as a fucking meal, it’s not out of vanity. He doesn’t like to stroke his own ego, it’s just the plain truth. He works his tongue around your cunt, licks at your puffy lips, slither his way over the labia, gathers all the dripping …. and lets it drip over your pussy, just to suck it up and spit on it, after all he never understood the whole don’t spit on the plate you eat. If it’s pussy, he’s sure it’s the fucking other way around.

You’re writhing and moving around, a symphony of gasps and moans fighting their way past your tight lips. Makki doesn’t mind. As he brings his thumbs to stroke up and down the sides of your cunt, he knows you’ll be screaming in no time. It’s just too much. It’s clear you’ve never had anything like this just by the frantic way you’re humping his face, hands grabbing at anything and everything they can, unable to hold on. His only shame is how busy his mouth is, unable to tease his way into the pure debauchery you’re demonstrating.

He pauses a bit to angle himself back, eyes trained at your pussy, dripping fucking wet all over the dress and the sofa. His thumbs spread at the sides of your entrance, pull it open just to see it blink and gap, begging for his cock without a word leaving your lips. Shit. His cock is straining against the tight jeans in such a painful way he has to let one hand go, open his button and fly, let the poor warrior fight its way past the band of his calvin kleins.

Then he’s back at his work, one thumb keeping you open as his hand returns to plunge his indicator inside slowly. Makki’s mouth almost falls open at the bewitching way your walls give in, letting him sink inside the velvety wet inside with ease. You’re clenching around him, groaning above and begging below, so he lets a second one inside at the retreat and advance of his wrist.

“Have your little husband ever made you feel like this, huh? Have he eaten this little pussy so good you make a mess?”

“Jesus Christ!” You moan above and Makki laughs. He loves this. Loves the little religious bout he gets from tight little brides when they actually taste heaven amidst sin. You try to ride his fingers, but he presses the back of your knees higher, and you let out a breathless “God!” at the new angle.

Then he starts the real game, fingers moving around your heat in search of a specific spot he finds with little prodding and then abuses until you’re begging.

“Oh my god! I, fuck--Jesus!”

“Yes, just like that sweetheart. If you beg for me real pretty I’ll give you what you want.” He says as his fingers keep plunging in and out of your heat in an upwards motion, strong but slow, dragging the feeling of his thick digits inside your walls. It’s close, he can feel it in the way you’re swelling around him, restless kicking out legs and praying for God as if it isn’t Makki who’s giving you all this.

“My name, sweetie. Beg for it, c’mon. Say it out very loud, how you want my cock to fuck you nice and hard as you’ve never had before, huh? Just--”

“Fuck!”

“Just tell me more how you had no idea it could be so good and how you need me to show you how fucking good a man can actually fuck.”

“Oh my god,” you all but yelp, but then sighs a, “yes, please.”

“Hmmm? Couldn’t hear you.”

“Oh fuck, Makki please fuck me!” There’s a breathless, outstandly maniac laugh breaching your lips after that, a flow of quick words falling from your lips as a train of thought, “Jesus I’ve never felt like this, oh my god I think I’ll actually die without--”

“There we go!” Makki laughs, voice loud as he stops everything to get up and once again bends down to pick you up.

“Wha--Wait!” You squeak, body tense and trembling at the loss as Makki only kisses around your tearstained face and makes his way around the upholstered couch. “Makki!” That has to be the needier, whinier tone he has ever heard his name in.

And he loves it.

He lets you slide through his hands, bends you over the back of the couch, your ripped panties sliding to the floor by one of your legs. One of Makki’s hands descends hard on your ass with a loud slap, your lips opening around a beautiful moan. The other does the same, both circling and massing the plump flesh as your ass and pussy blinks seductively at him.

That does it. Makki curses as he pulls his pants and underwear down, his hard, bloody-red cock slapping up against his navel; he closes his hand around it to slap it between the crack of your pretty behind and feels everything in him tingling at how wanton you sound in your moan, angling your back so that your ass can climb higher, head against the seat cushions.

“Yes, baby, just like that.” Makki praises you as he tilts his cockhead on your slit, up and down, up and down against your clit, labia and entrance. It’s absolutely delicious how you clench to try and hold his cockhead, but it slips up to bob against your ass. “Ops, let’s try again.”

He does the same thing a second time but then you groan and whine once again, “Makki, please!”

Well, fuck, who’s he to deny you, right?

He pats your ass and supports his weight at the back of his feet, cockhead right against the beautiful hole weeping for him and, carefully, slowly, deliciously starts dipping inside. Your pussy sucks him in as a vice, muscle clenching and releasing; loud, satisfacted moans in your lips. It’s almost choking to him that the loud noise in the room comes from him, too, mouth falling open in a growl.

When his hips are nested against your ass, Makki has the urge to kiss you but squatches it down in favor of holding you strongly and fucking you throughly. Motioning himself in waves as he had on the stage, his cock slides in and out of you with such delicious, timed precision he thinks you’ll come twice on him before he’s done.

Your tight heat is velvety wet around him, squelching sounds sinful in the room as he grinds his hips against your ass, cockhead nestled against the firm pressure of your cervix. There’s babbles tipping from your lips, as if your mind has broken and you have to pronounce your mess of thoughts out loud. It’s cute.

Maybe he'd appreciate it more if his mind wasn't falling him also; his whole body feels constricted, strained, hips rolling in long, deep, strong strokes that make his cock into a pleasure antena, broadcasting to his whole being, blistering heat spreading through his veins and turning sharp at his spine and to start pooling at his balls.

He is about to dip his hand to your clit and end you when your body seizes, legs kicking while dangling from the backrest of the couch and your pussy starts creaming hard like a vice around his cock.

“Fuck!” He groans, tensing his whole body before you bring him over with you, hand slithering to hold the base of his cock, hard. Then he laughs, no breath to spare. “Wow, baby, no heads up? Now you gonna have to give me one more, I’m not done with you yet.”

You let out an indignant groan, but rest boneless under him. Makki retreats his hips from your snug grip and starts pistoning his way inside your heat, unforgiving even as you yelp and whine, oversensitivity probably making you burn. Makki lets one of his hands let go of your hips and fall hard on your ass, in time to feel the way your pussy grips at him, yelp turning into a moan. Makki lets his hands slide down the side and curve his wrist so your fingers can find your clit, rubbing him frantically as he angles his hips just right, every wave of his body aimed against your precious spot.

“Yup,” Makki groans, growing exhausted. “Just like this.”

Your eyes snap open, hands frantically reaching to hold on anything by them as you look back at Makki with shiny, big, dazed eyes in absolute terror at the fact you are, indeed, going to keep cumming on his dick, second orgasm hitting you so hard and fast Makki actually tips over with you, the pressure in his balls releasing in one blissful climax at the incessant contracting of your cunt and the wave of your orgasm gushing out of your pussy in the closest thing to a squirt he could pull out of you amidst a unending orgasm.

Makki stays inside you as he rides his high, grinding his hips even as you cry from the oversensitivity. When he pulls out, he’s careful with the condom and also has half a mind to hold your body, throwing the used thing somewhere to be cleaned after. Almost as if perceiving the breach, his cellphone starts ringing somewhere, loud as fuck in the closed room.

“Damn, fuck,” Makki scrambles to the sound, his legs almost giving out under him and his fingers so numb it takes three tries to actually accept the call. Which he didn’t read who from.

“MAKKI! WHERE ARE YOU, WE’RE STARTING IN FIVE.” Iwaizumi nags at him, stern and loud, piercing through his haze enough to make his brain drop some adrenaline into his bloodstream, suddenly alert and kicking, muscles straining but holding as he pulls his underwear and jeans quick over his ass and searches for his cowboy hat in time to dip and run to the presentation.

“Sorry baby, gotta go.” He saunters to you, plants a kiss on your sweaty head and another at your swollen lips and smiles the same sinful smile that ended up bringing you here, along with a tilt of his cowboy hat. “Duty calls.”

#hanamaki x reader #hanamaki smut #hanamaki takahiro smut #haikyuu smut #thesmutpilecollab

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fracktastic · 3 years

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33 - mais en français

The rewatch continues.

General dub thoughts:

- Laura’s voice still irks me. It’s not a bad voice, it just doesn’t feel like it matches the character. The cadence and delievery are great, but the pitch isn’t. I’m not ragging on the voiceover artist, just the casting choice. Billy’s voice is a little too hard-edged, too. Starbuck’s voice is starting to bug me, but Lee’s is perfect.

- I understand shortening the subtitles to fit everything on screen if the character is saying a lot, but what about when they’re saying something short? (”Fermez-la” vs. “Tais-toi”). Why not just match the script in those cases? They clearly didn’t have language learners in mind... Also caught at least one meaningful discrepancy between the subs and the dub - ”Dernier comptage de survivantes” vs “Nouveau bilan des victimes” - sure, the end result is the same, but the tone changes. It’s extra frustrating because depending on the phrasing used, I have to bounce back and forth between reading the subtitles and listening to the audio to understand it.

- I feel like a lot of diacritics are missing from the subtitles, but my spelling is terrible, so what do I know?

- This is actually a really interesting way to watch the show - it forces me to pay a lot more attention than I would otherwise, and I definitely feel like I’m catching little details I missed previously. No multitasking, no knitting/embroidery/phone/sewing/sketching/etc. Episode thoughts:

- Love the detail of the photograph in the pilots’ ready room.

- Forgot the bit about problems with Colonial One’s FTL drive; the decision *not* to go to Galactica does a great job of reenforcing the boundaries between the government and military, and also reinforces that while Adama and Roslin are agreeing to work together, there’s significant mistrust.

- Dee seeing the memorial hall for the first time gave me chills.

- Ominous looming shot of the Olympic Carrier behind Colonial One before it’s actually introduced. I’m sure it was a question of maximising bang-for-buck where VFX were concerned, but it reads well on a rewatch.

- Not sure if it’s intentional, but Col. Tight does seem to be handling the sleep deprivation better than most... Also, a recent post I saw about female characters not eating in Marvel movies must have struck a chord, because I notice Saul going to town on noodles, but I can only recall 1 time we see a female character really chow down on BSG (and then it’s Kara in a very specific context...). I will have to keep an eye out...

- Deperessing introduction of the whiteboard is depressing.

- Speaking of VFX, some of the centurions on Caprica are a little rough...

- Ever want to reach out at a character and shake them? Yes, Baltar is “un peu bizzar” and you should get rid of the frackweasel! I used to think Laura had worse instincts for people than she realized, but now I’m wondering if she *does* have good instincts, but talks herself out of following those instincts.

- Apparently, Galactica’s crew are getting depressed instead of exhausted, but the solution is still stims?

- I’m continuing to find Saul more compelling and sympathetic on this watchthrough than ever before. I think the voice actor is actually helping in this case? Is that taboo to say?

- Just noticed Kara’s thumb ring. Was she wearing it in the mini? Did she wear it the rest of the series? How am I just noticing it now?

- Chief’s face watching Lee and Kara is just perfect.

- Helo’s looking worse for wear, but what really concerns me is how is that Six’s hair dry as she’s standing in pouring rain?

- Love what they did with the CIC lighting when the Olympic Carrier came back. Such a dramatic change from the mood of a moment earlier when Tigh and Adama were chatting.

Update: Now with bonus doodles. Not striving for profound realism here, just general impressions. Almost added Billy; still might... Facial hair is hard to draw, and so are the faces men make while shaving.

#bsg en francais #bsg rewatch #battlestar galactica #language learning #doodles

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sleepdeprivedheretic · 4 years

Text

Those Shoes (Final Ch.)

Song Inspired: My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire

Notes: This chapter is kind of rushed, and is based more on the smut, and the future of the fic. Includes an OC that Rita, or @youtubequeens had created while we brainstormed <3

Warnings: This chapter has brief mention of non-consensual touching, violence, and consensual smut between two adults

………………..

Time had flown by fast since that night. Although you weren’t single, anymore, it had taken some effort for your mother’s employees and patrons to finally get the hint.

That hint happened very recently.

The bouncers couldn’t match the fast pace that Tai had possessed, after you yelped in surprise at the sudden, unwanted pinch. Cue your scantily dressed partner in a frilly maid’s outfit, holding the gigantic offender in a fierce headlock, scowling out a growl as he dragged the squirming man near the door, furling him onto the ground in a show of dominance that left the crowd gasping and hollering.

It didn’t take long for the bouncers to get the hint, grabbing the offender and tossing him out like trash. Of course, your mother gave the signal to her hired men that it was alright, winking at you as you felt yourself being tugged by Nemuri and Yu into the dressing room, making sure that you were alright, whilst teasing you mercilessly when you confirmed with flushed cheeks, that you were.

He was unaware of it, but the stunt that he pulled, left you feeling hot and flushed all over. Of course they didn’t let you live it down as they left you alone. Cue in Taishiro, walking in as if he owned the place, fretting over you with kisses and light touching. With your reassurance that yes, everything was alright, the kisses became a little dirtier, and the touching became exploring.

Of course there weren’t cameras in the dressing room, only in the fitting room, and he took in the knowledge to make an opportunity of your situation. You nodded your consent when he pulled away from you briefly to ask, and then sealed his lips flush against yours.

Hot, you felt as if a liquid fire had drizzled within you, as he bit and sucked at your bottom lip, silently asking for entry. You granted it when you felt his hand smooth up your leg, fingers inches away from your skirt as he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slip inside your mouth, whilst your fingers were threaded through soft yellow locks of hair.

You couldn’t help but absentmindedly rub your thighs together as he ran his tongue against yours, giving it soft little suckles now and then as you trembled, feeling yourself ache considerably. He tugged a little at the skirt as he broke away first, leaving the two of you breathing heavily as drool collected on both chins. He wiped his face as his eyes gleamed with excitement, looking down at you as if you were a fine meal.

“Ya wanna continue?” He asked non-too bluntly, and you couldn’t help but nod, and he groaned with want.

“As much as it’s enticin’, we’ll get to the main course at home.” He looked as if he regretted the sentence, but looking at your desperation, he couldn’t help but lean in and whisper in your ear, laving his tongue against the flushed lobe as he gave it a gentle suck, humming with approval at the whimper he pulled out of you as your hands gripped his shoulders tightly.

“You have to wait, Baby-doll. The boys should be sleepin’ when their sitter leaves. We can continue this properly in the bedroom. That bein’ said,” His hand slid up your skirt, and your breath hitched as he leaned down to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“-it’s rude to keep a lady waitin’ for too long.” He let out a dangerous purr at your wanton moan, biting gently onto your skin as he guided curious fingers into the breach of your undergarments. You widened your legs more apart in relief as you felt him finally reach your folds, he sucked on your neck harshly when you bucked your hips, a silent warning for you to be patient.

Your obedient compliance was rewarded as thick, calloused fingers slipped past the lips, and cupped your soaked sex.

“Ya wanna cum on my fingers? Whet that appetite of yours, first?” He licked a hot, wet stripe against your neck, and you keened into a “yes”.

You were given little time, for he dipped his fingers to tease the tight muscle of your opening, gently with one hand, while his other hand that wasn’t near your soaked panties, opted to cup your ass, bringing you closer to him as he decided to resume tasting your mouth.

He swallowed your wanton cries with eagerness as he thumbed your clit, rubbing it rather gently as he slipped two digits in your relaxing opening. In an instant, you couldn’t help but tremble, holding him more closer to you as you felt yourself being stretched by curling, pumping fingers bigger than your own. He purred, breaking away from sucking on your bottom lip.

“You’re so sensitive, all tremblin’ an’ flushed.” Oh, the irony, you couldn’t help but think as his neck, ears, and cheeks were colored a deep shade of red, now.

“Y-you’re the same.” You mumbled out, and he chuckled, pecking your mouth.

“Yeah.” Was all he really could say as you bucked your hips, feeling the desperate itch only intensify after he stilled. Getting the hint, he scissored your inner walls, feeling you hug him, as if refusing to let go, and he groaned into your neck.

You bit your lip, holding onto him tightly as you bucked your hips, although hoping that nobody would walk in on you, you felt liquid heat pool within you at the thought, trying your best to cum as his breathing became louder, dampening your neck in hot gasps of air.

“Feel ya tightenin’ on me. That’s it, let loose, Baby. Know ya’re pent up.” He let out a mantra of words, and you did, stilling as you felt yourself tremble, hole fluttering and clamping against his digits as he let out a low, victorious groan from how tight that you were squeezing him. You didn’t realize that your eyes were squeezed shut, until you opened them to see him smiling ever so softly at you.

“You did so well, Honey,” He started, pulling his fingers out of your heated and soaked entrance, you felt a little empty, but words died in your throat as he brought his soiled hand to his face, slowly but surely sucking on the release that you’ve left behind.

“-tastes like honey, too.” His eyes glinted as you relaxed against him, feeling uncomfortable by your wetness as you climbed down from your climatic high. He leaned down and kissed you softly, before reluctantly breaking away.

“If ya wanna stay with me for the night, I’ll leave the door unlocked. We don’t hafta continue if ya don’t wanna.” He hummed, and you leaned up to give him a peck on the mouth.

“I’ll be there when I get dressed into my regular clothes. Mom won’t be bothered if I…take these home to wash.” You admitted rather shyly, and he chuckled.

………………

You heavily ignored your mother, and told your friends where you were heading. Changing clothes, you walked out to meet him in his car, only to find that yes, he did change, but not into his normal clothes.

“Your teacher’s outfit?” You asked. He gave a lazy smile.

“First one ya’ve seen me in, Sugar. Thought I’d make it special.” He winked, and you smiled.

The drive to his house was quiet, but short. You were surprised on how little he cared about wearing his outfit in public, bidding the sitter farewell as he handed them some money, and basically dragged you into his bedroom.

“Ya wanna continue?” He asked.

“Yes.” You answered honestly. Giving your permission, he locked the door, and in an instant, was on top of you as your back was against the soft mattress, kissing you with fervor, kneading your still clothed breast as he drunk in on your gasps and pants.

“Strip for me.” He commanded after he broke away, looking at you expectantly. Your ache and the heat fired within your blood ate away most of your shyness, plus, you were very well acquainted with stares, but this time, you wanted it. You peeled off your clothes, shucking them on the side of the bed as you felt him eye you with that now-familiar raw hunger. Already, you wanted him to touch you, again, to warm up your cool chest, and relieve you.

“So beautiful.” He complimented, crawling his way towards you, slotting himself between your open thighs as he caressed your face rather gently despite the metaphorical nitrogen within the atmosphere, ready to consume the both of you. Your legs rested comfortably at his sides as you couldn’t help but notice the bulge pressing up against his miniskirt, creating a damp spot, causing you to buck against it. He gave a low hiss, biting his lip as he stared at your all-too hungry gaze.

“Uniform’s yer thing, huh?” He couldn’t help but ask. You shrugged a little.

“There’s a lot of things that I don’t really know.” You admitted almost rather shyly, and he kissed your forehead in reassurance.

“It’s alright.” Then, he gave a predatory smile.

“Lay back an’ relax, Darlin’. Lemme teach ya a few things.”

You couldn’t laugh at the joke. He was above you, wearing a blazer with unopened buttons and it’s sleeves rolled up, dampened miniskirt, and of course heels and stockings. His hair and eyes were wild as he looked as if he was ready to make you debauched as he was. You wanted him, too.

“First lesson, Baby,” He began, cutting you out of your thoughts as he turned towards the little nightstand within reach, not leaving his place as he absentmindedly rummaged through the contents in the drawer.

“-is to wear a condom. Didn’t know when we’ll get to this part, but I got the high dollar, good ones. Just in case.” He admitted, and you thumbed his cheek in your approval of his thinking. He leaned down and kissed you in affection, before leaning back up, giving you a show. Folding up his skirt, you bit out a whine in approval. There was an outline of his thick dick pressed against satin panties, heavily dripping precum. He noticed your thighs squeezing together against his waist, trying to find relief as your eyes lit up darkly. He groaned.

“Turns ya on, huh? Don’t worry, Sugar. I’ll give ya what ya want, soon.” He promised. You felt yourself flutter and clench onto nothing as he slid his panties to the side, hissing at the cool air hit his cock and balls, paying it very little mind as he tore the foil of the condom. It was an impressionable size in length, but it was more thick, than anything, you couldn’t help but swallow thickly, watching him struggle and groan as he wrapped the ribbed rubber onto him.

After a short break, he turned towards you.

“Right, after that’s outta the way, your second lesson, is…” He drawled out, sticking his hand back into the drawer as he pulled a bottle out.

“…Lube. Doesn’t hurt to use a lot, an’ makes yer partner slick an’ wet. Prevents me from potentially hurtin’ ya.” The last part of the sentence was said a bit softer as he flipped the cap open, pouring a generous amount of the orange scented lubrication onto his fingers.

“I’m pretty touch-starved, ya know? Not really use to touchin’ anybody, so hurtin’ ya is the last thing that I wanna do.” He leaned down, and you couldn’t help but cup his face rather gently, giving him a kiss as he moaned, lubing up the condom.

“Ya ready?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m ready, Tai.” You gave your affirmation, relaxing fully against the mattress as he opted to keep kissing you, running one of his hands against your breasts, slowly thumbing a nipple as his other hand slipped in between your folds, massaging and opening you up, further. He didn’t linger there for too long, knowing that you were on the brink of the edge, but he did curl and scissor his fingers, getting you use to the stretch. He nipped your lip softly, before breaking away.

“Alright?”

“Yes.”

No further words were needed as he grasped your hand within his, the other guiding himself towards your opening, prodding it gently as you felt yourself open up for him. It surprised you how smoothly at first the head slid in, you widened your thighs, feeling the thick of his girth stretch your walls to accommodate it. The stretch wasn’t painful, rather more causing a delicious friction, satisfying the ache. You couldn’t help but bite out a whimper as he finally stilled, resting fully flush against you.

“Squeezin’ me like a lifeline, Sugar. Damn, are ya alright?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours as he drank in your expression.

“More than fine. I need you to move.” You couldn’t help but blurt out, and he gave a soft huff of laughter, that bled into a groan as he gave a small push of his hips.

“You’re right, I do need to move.” He panted, giving sharper thrusts with his hips, and you mewled, trying your best to match each movement as you felt him prod a certain spot within you, churning your tight walls even further as electric heat began crackling and frizzling within you.

“I’m-! Not going to last!” You bit out, as if embarrassed, but he kissed you in reassurance.

“Me nei-ther! T’s alright, w-we can do ano-ah! Ther round.” He panted out broken words as he gripped your thigh, feeling your heated core flutter against him as his hips frantically seemed to move on their own. You bit the back of your hand, eyes widening with surprise as your release snuck up on you, catching you off guard. All of that aching and waiting, bit back with a fierce vengeance as you clenched onto him ever so tightly, refusing him to move any further, demanding his own release that had shot into the condom.

He stilled, panting out as now both hands gripped the sheets as he matched your shaking, trembling, and watery eyes. Although the both of you were absolutely wrecked, he managed to gingerly slip out of you, watching with interest as your opening was gaping at the loss, your own fluids seeping out as he tight the condom halfheartedly, tossing it in the small wastebasket, and then turning off the lamplight. He flopped down next to you, gathering your sweaty, mussed up form within his arms, sighing loudly.

“Ya’right?” He tiredly mumbled out the words in a jumble, and was relieved to feel you nod. He’ll deal with aftercare, later.

………………………….

Life had seemed to pick up, after that. You’ve gotten into your dream job and quit the night life, Taishiro graduated and became a certified therapist while dancing from time to time, and the two of you moved in together and eventually gotten married and had a daughter, Kirin. Although rather busy, the two of you had found time to indulge in your boy’s and daughter’s lives, as well as spend quiet, quality time with one another.

Your mother retired, and handed the place to an old friend of hers who was known to to be strict with keeping her workers safe, and yet allowed anybody and everyone to be free and dress up as themselves. Nemuri and Yu had finally gotten married in a beautiful, expensive white wedding, giggling manically as Rumi had caught the bouquet, flushing considerably, as her girlfriend, Fuyumi smiled sweetly. Keigo, it turned out, was dating Dabi all this time, and the both of them rented a fancy apartment as Keigo became the sole owner of the pet shop.

You were a little older, now, and wiser, yet still considerably young compared to of course your mother. Eijirou, now the age of nineteen, had his arms swung around Izuku, the shy boy that he met years ago, was now officially his boyfriend. You were happy for them, yet you weren’t really surprised, for Tamaki and Mirio had announced their partnership when they had just finished high school, as well.

“Kirin, stop glaring at him.” You spoke, not breaking your eyes away from the newspaper. The seven year old girl huffed loudly, before biting into her onigiri.

You weren’t sure how a feisty little thing could be your daughter, but you loved her dearly nonetheless. Especially when she was protective towards Tamaki and Eijirou when Mirio or Izuku came by, eyeing them up and down with an unimpressed scowl, more so to Izuku, for Mirio would just beam happily and ruffle her hair. Of course, then again, she knew both boys all of her life, and wasn’t too harsh on them than what she could be.

Right now, it was a family gathering. You, your husband, the children and their boyfriends, and your mother sat at the table, sipping tea. Of course your mother would take this an opportunity to blend in with her natural environment of trash, grinning wildly at the boys.

“You know, my friend could use some help.”

“Grandma, no.” Tamaki groaned, much to Mirio’s confusion. Ejirou laughed, and Izuku, being the one most picked on, blushed furiously.

“What? My intended audience are all over the age of eighteen. Specially Zuzu, he might be trembling, but I bet he could work the pole.”

Dead silence.

“That might not be so bad.” Eijirou spoke out.

“Babe!” Izuku gasped, and much to your astonishment, Taishiro laughed.

“Ma, leave them alone.”

“Thank You!” Tamaki and Izuku said in unison.

Your mother sighed.

“Fiiiiiiiine.” She drawled out.

The rest of the evening crawled slowly as Mirio, Kirin, and Tamaki drew and colored, and Izuku and Eijirou held hands whilst talking among themselves, blushing and smiling, ignoring the world around them. After everything was said and done, the children put to bed, you rested on the nook of your husband’s arm, humming as he kissed your forehead.

“Crazy, ain’t it? Gotta lovely wife, an’ great kids, an’ a good job…” He rambled, and you gave a chuckle.

“I’m questioning if Kirin is actually mine or not.” You joked, and he laughed.

“Figurin’ this out after giving birth?”

“It’s a process.”

He hummed, bringing you closer.

“I love you.” Although he said it so many times, the sentiment had always melted your heart and kept you warm.

“I love you, too.”

…………..

Alright! I hope ya’ll enjoyed this fic! I’m going to play Stardew Valley, now

#Taishiro Toyomitsu #Fatgum x reader #Mainly just smut #Not the greatest that I've written but it's a thirst quencher

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ofravensandgenesis · 4 years

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Meme Tag Games!

Thank you for all the lovely tags!! :D <3 This is quite belated but between some health happenings, the weather deciding to turn the thermostat way up (and the house AC went out), and other stuff, I got swamped for a while there. Here we are now though! :D Tagging anyone who wants to jump in on any of these, namely FC5 GFH tag game; OC Fighting Style; and WIP Day. Continued below the cut because this got long:

FC5 Guns For Hire Meme Game

Tagged by @chyrstis and @amistrio for the FC5 GFH meme, thank you for the tag!! :D <3 We have full length responses with some banter with the human GFH in particular here. I was kind of stumped with how to answer this for Joshua in what he might say as a GFH since his verse is very tailored for him being the Deputy and all the psychic shenanigans. Eventually I got over that and this is basically an AU where there’s another (unnamed here) Deputy who IS slated to be The Deputy that Joshua is trying to help (and convince to do less murder) to explain how he fits into a verse as a Gun For Hire. Psychic shenanigans still happen in this AU of an AU ofc, just it’s perhaps less prominent. We’re skipping over possible musings of relevant sidequests for Joshua relating to the Seeds in this for the sake of time, though I acknowledge that it’s something to explore, likely would impact the endgame with the Heralds, cult, and Joseph depending on the Deputy’s choices of doing a Kill or No-kill run. This verse also assumes that Joshua, the Deputy, Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson all got away or were not present for the helicopter crash. Other characters minor and otherwise who are alive in Joshua’s main fic verse ACABH are the same as in that story thus far, such as Rae-Rae and Ryan being alive. We’ll also presume the Seeds are all still alive at the time of these dialogue lines.

Deputy Joshua Raguel Rook

(All images used were public domain and/or labeled free for reuse under creative commons license. Above image was sourced from [here.]) With Fangs for Hire

Boomer: “Hey there boy, how’re you feeling today? Got some venison strips saved for you, you eating enough with all this running around?” [cue more small talk and praise for Boomer about how Boomer’s doing such a good job and Joshua feeding Boomer bits of cooked meat. Will likely sing snatches of cheery dog-themed songs he’s heard when in the party with Boomer and there’s no enemies nearby.]

Peaches: “...I hope that’s not people-meat in your teeth, Peaches, you know how Miss Mable feels about that, it’s bad for your health. I’m also not quite brave enough to want to brush your teeth—though maybe Dr. Lindsey or Wade can offer advice on that. We’ll get you some nice fish instead, that’s a good kitty.” [He’s a bit more shy around Peaches than Boomer bc cougar, but an effort at friendliness will be made.]

Cheeseburger: “...that is one big bear. He’s a sweetheart though. Just...hoping he doesn’t make a mistake of who he’s barreling into. It’s not like we’re wearing team colors or anything.” [Cheeseburger is a sweetie and Joshua likes him, but also: bear. Joshua’s a bit wary around him, but will still feed Cheeseburger salmon when able. May crack a joke paralleling Cheeseburger going “Only You Can Prevent Cult Gun Fire.” Will not crack this joke after any Jacob-region events though.]

With Other Guns for Hire:

Sharky

Sharky: So amibro, I was thinking, you know how those Angels are all dead in the head and stuff? How are they still shuffling around, is the Bliss like a zombie plant or something? Joshua: ...no, that’s more in line with the aliens that Larry keeps going on about I’m sure. Something about brainmelting and bendy straws, I got lost when he started mentioning Navier-Stokes equations for how the...resulting brain juice would be redirected. [Shuddery noise of disgust.] I’m not sure if he’s serious or just fucking with me and referencing Guy’s zombie movie series at this point. Could be either or. The Bliss is more like...like...uh. Like if you lost the keys to your car, but the car’s your body. You get me? Sharky: Damn, remind me never to OD on the stuff, I lose the keys to my car all the time. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to find em and just jiggle the lock so I can hop on in to hotwire the car because I’m in a hurry, you know? Ladies love a man who’s good with his hands, and who’s good with time and can improvise. You think that’d work on the Bliss car keys? Joshua: Maybe? Not everyone seems to be as readily lost to the Bliss at the same amounts. Personally I’d wager you’d be able to find your way back to your body no matter where you were in the bliss if we stood you near a signal fire. Sharky: This is why we’re friends man! Ride or die! ...also can you help me find my keys with that trick of yours, I lost ‘em again. Joshua: Yeah, though did you check under your bed? Also, maybe hang your regular set and a spare set of keys on a hook by the door so you can always find them, just in case you’re in a hurry.

Hurk

Joshua: Hurk. [Said in a Mild, Judgmental Voice of Impending Doom From A Friend kind of tone.] Hurk: Hey man I didn’t do nothin’ to deserve that tone of voice now don’t you start on me. Joshua: How can you say that when you and Sharky went and invented zipline grenade-golf without me last night? And blew up part of the mini-YES-sign. Hurk: Oh man you were talking up Lindsey and with the way the two of you were smiling and laughing, we figured you might be getting lucky so like the proper supportive wingmen me and Sharky were, we left you gentlemen some of our finest booze and sticky green. You did find it didn’t you, I’d hate to waste the gifts of the beneficent Monkey God from above as He Who Likes To Par-tay Above And Here Below On This Earth did command me never to waste beer or the good kush and to always help a brother out who’s trying to hook it up with their fine persons of choice. Joshua: Hurk I’m not— [sighs in accepting and fond exasperation.] It’s not like that with me and Charles— Hurk: Ooooooooooooo, you’re on a first name basis already! I knew you had it in you! Get it man, get it good! I’m not into that, you know I like the ladies strictly, but I will support your endeavors no matter the sex of your fellow party-goer as leader of Hurk Gate and the Bro-iest of Bros. Joshua: Hurk oh my god, I’m not trying to sleep with or romance him. I’m—he’s not looking for that, at least not with me certainly, and I—...just, thanks. I still have most of the beer and weed leftover if you and Sharky are up for graffiting one of John’s billboard signs though. You in? Hurk: Hell yeah man, and oo, you did get some then, Josh you sly dog! Joshua: I DID NOT! [Meta-clarification: Joshua indeed did not, for reasons to be revealed at a later time in the main fic.]

Sharky, Hurk, and Joshua, if one bends the mechanics so they are all in the party together at the same time:

Sharky: Pfhahahahaha oh man did you see the look on those Peggies’s faces when we came just crashing down the mountainside in that burning car? It was priceless!

Joshua: What better way to set fire to mass amounts of Bliss fields than with a moving fireball? Sharky: I know man it was great! We didn’t get too singed or nothin’! We gotta try that burning trash-ball idea next time though, like building a snowman but with fire! A fireman! Ha! That was the easiest fifty bucks of my life, cuz. Joshua: Hold up a tick now, what. Hurk: Sharky man that’s against the betting code! You’re not supposed to tell! Joshua: Oh, you cheeky bastards were betting on if Sharky could convince me to drive the car down the hill, weren’t you. Hurk: Man it’s always a crap shoot with you, specially around cars. That’s what makes it fun, sometimes you get all “guys that’s not safe,” [said with a poor imitation of Joshua’s voice complete with a very terrible southern, Georgian-style accent before Hurk switches to his normal speaking voice to continue,] —and other times it’s just “hold my beer.” You’re not going to go all prim and proper on us now are ya? Joshua: I can’t believe you two. Gambling in Hope County, I’m shocked, shocked. Sharky you owe me half, I’ll buy you a beer first round. Sharky: Hell yeah man! Hurk: Wait a second did you two just con me? I’ve been robbed! Police! Joshua: Hurk I *am* the police, one of them present at least. Hurk: Oh shit son, you right. Help I’m being oppressed by the system!

Nick Rye

[This conversation happens after Seed Ranch has been taken, along with the AU detail of capturing John’s plane Affirmation at the same time, preferably early on, while John is still alive.] Nick: Hey Joshua I was talking to Sharky— Joshua: Oh no. Nick: And he had an idea that wasn’t half bad. Not a good one, and you’d be liable to get killed or captured, but I got stuck thinking on it and wanted to ask: What d’you think would happen if you dressed up like the Father and just pulled a whole Mission: Impossible face-a-roo switch? You can do that imitation of how he speaks and everything, I’ve heard you do it before. And with how high the Peggies are most of the time, they’re so far out of their gourds they wouldn’t notice the differences. Joshua: You mean aside from his brothers and sister noticing he’s suddenly an inch shorter, twenty years younger and the wrong brand of crazy? Nick: Just go off about there being an edit to God’s Plan or something, and you could get makeup or something going on with that age thing. People do all kinds of wizardry with foundation and stuff, though you’d have to ask someone else on that. Maybe Addie or someone she knows? I don’t know if they have aging-up tricks compared to aging-down though. It could work! Might be a quick way to end the fighting if we can just stuff Joseph into a car trunk and then stash him in a bunker somewhere while you’re pretending you’re him. Joshua: Nick my tattoos are different and I’m not going to convince people I’m Joseph if I have to do one of his shirtless walkarounds, NOR am I having sins and Bible verses carved into my hide to complete the look. I don’t think we have any special effects or make up artists in the county who specialize in convincingly fake scars made out of latex or something. Nick: I don’t know, that Guy Marvel might have someone. Or, had someone. He has to be able to afford all those special effects somehow. Joshua: I’m not going anywhere near that guy with a ten foot pole man, he weirds me out. Also consider: I’d have to talk to Jacob, John and Faith as Joseph. I don’t want that kind of responsibility of herding that conversation at the family dinner. Nick: Hoo, good point. So...how is that family bullshit coming along then? Joshua: I have no idea, I’m just winging it, like you are. Nick: [who’s currently flying a plane, thus the slight pun] Heh. Good luck with that then, and let me know if you want me to paint something special on John’s precious little Affirmation next time you take it out for a spin to spite him. Joshua: I’m sure I can think of a thing or two.

Adelaide

Adelaide: Honey you need to take a breather one of these days and just take a load off, if you keep up the way you’re going you’re going to end up looking more like your dad sooner rather than later. You should swing by the Marina sometime and have a yoga session with Xander, really helps get the blood pumping and limber you up if you know what I’m saying. Joshua: [Snorts in amusement.] Is Xander trying to convince you to eat more kale chips instead of potato chips again? Adelaide: Rook sweetie, I love Xander but there are some things a woman won’t put in her mouth, and kale chips are one of them. Joshua: I’ll swing by sometime to help out with the kale chips then, and maybe get in a yoga session at the same time. It’s been a while since I chatted Xander up what with the county going pearshaped. Adelaide: I’ll never understand how you two can eat those things. Ugh. Gives me the willies. Joshua: *I* eat them dipped in homemade spicy nacho cheese sauce. I have no idea how Xander eats them straight and still claims to have working tastebuds.

Grace

[For context: This conversation is based on the AU’s detail that Grace’s father has survived the previous attempt on his life prior to the start of the Reaping.]

Joshua: Did you crack open the extra care packages we dropped off yet Grace, or did your dad get to ‘em first? Grace: You referring to the chocolate bars you stashed in there? I got my share of them out in time. Joshua: Good, I was a little worried when you told me they were missing last time. Thought they might’ve been lifted without me knowing beforehand. Grace: He’s a sly one when sweets are up for grabs. Now if you can do something about the shortage of decent coffee… Joshua: What’s that? A reason to piss John off today and raid his personal stash? Say no more!

Jess

Jess: So. Joshua: So. Jess: Just like old times but with more fucked up cultist family bullshit than before, huh. Joshua: [Sighs.] Yeah. Jess: That’s rough, buddy. Joshua: Least I can steal shit en masse from the cultists and no one else minds right now. For the life of me though I can’t figure out where all of the snacks from Lorna’s went when the Peggies hit her place. I think they ate ‘em all. Jess: [Noise of disgust.] Those two-faced fuckers going on and on about how bad commercially produced food is and how everyone should get back to basics, but there they go snatching up all the frosted cakes and maple bars like it's baby’s first shoplifting spree. Joshua: I know right? Even if they do believe the end of the world’s coming, that’s still rude to clean the store out on the first go around—leave some snacks for the next bunch of looters, god damn.

In Combat

[Note: due to Joshua’s verse details, this comes with the assumption that were one to play in a version of his universe, the Deputy would have a kill/spare mechanic and thus also an option of doing a No Kill run and variations on that spectrum, which Joshua’s mechanics would support more so. This would likely also mean some additional options for the other guns-for-hire and creative use of their canonical loadouts and abilities. Joshua’s setup would overlap with Boomer and Jess’s via the Spotter and Concealment abilities, and he’d be equipped with a bliss dart gun and a scoped hunting rifle. Also melee options and such.] Seeing/tagging an enemy: “Hey look, another whack-a-mole.” / ”Fashionably challenged mountain-man zealot sighted.” / “Enemy sighted.” Seeing/tagging multiple enemies at once: “duck, duck, cultists.”/ “The Rapture called, they don’t want these Peggies back.” / “multiple hostiles in the area.” Bliss darting/knocking out a Peggie at range: “Nap time.” / “Another one bites the dust.” / “Down they go!” / “A little dirt nap never hurt any Peggie. Won’t hurt their outfits any either, a little dirt brown looks better than all of that mayonnaise-white so many of them wear anyway.” Knocking out a Peggie with a non-lethal stealth takedown: “Lights out.” / “Rang this one’s chimes hard enough he’ll think it’s time for morning service on a sunday when he wakes up.” / “Sleep tight.” / “She’s/he’s down.” Sneaking: “Feels like a tuesday.” / “...” / “Five bucks says I can pickpocket the guards and they’d never even know till later.” / “Moving position.” / “Good to go.” Upon witnessing the Deputy killing an enemy: “Was that really necessary?!” / “...shit.” / “Maybe we should disengage and drop back out of sight instead of this.” / “What the fuck!” Reviving an ally/The Deputy: “Don’t you go dying on me! Stay alive, you’ve got so much to live for!” / “Come on, let’s get you patched up, you’re gonna be okay!” / “No no no! Don’t you dare die! Not today!” Hurt: “MOTHERFUCKER!” / “Ow!” / “God damn it, I just patched this shirt! And myself!” / “This is NOT my fucking element, fuck!” / “Why are we even in a situation where we’d get shot at?!” Downed: “Could use a little help over here!” / “Bleeding out, help!” / “...mom?”

Driving

When asked to drive: “...you sure? I really think someone else driving would be a better idea under current circumstances, but okay. Just don’t go making a habit out of this. Please. For everyone’s sake.” / “No.” [This is followed by outright refusal to sit in the driver’s seat.] / [Optionally if Sharky and/or Hurk are around] “Ugh. Just...gotta pretend this is driving through a Clutch Nixon. With live gun fire, instead of just fire-fire.”

When the Deputy/someone else is driving recklessly: “Iwantoffthisride” / “I’m going to have to pick upholstery out from under my nails later.” / “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.” / [Recites a Hail Mary.] / “Having a good time! NOT.” / [If it’s Sharky or Hurk driving] “This is the kind of reckless driving I can get behind. Through regular past exposure therapy.” Changing radio stations: [If it’s being changed to Eden’s Gate stations] “Can we not? I’ve heard this music so many times it’s old as hell, however catchy.” / “They did do a good job on the music, I gotta say. More ominous meaning to the lyrics right now in particular though.” / [If it’s being changed to Resistance Radio stations] “Road trip time! Watch out for moose in the road.” / “Hell yeah, crank those tunes!” / “I’m glad we have regular music to listen to still, it’d be such a drag to have to go without it.”

Idle

- [General] “What’s up? Everything going alright with you?” - [General] “I heard of a good fishing spot where the rainbow trout [or other game fish depending on situation/mechanics] are really biting today if you want to take a breather and just do a bit of fishing.” [this dialogue only triggers if the Deputy hasn’t filled out the map yet for fishing spots, and adds one to the map with a notification.] - [General] “Hey, there’s a prepper stash over yonder, if you want to try your hand at getting at it. [This dialogue only triggers at random if the Deputy hasn’t polished off all the nearby Prepper stashes already. Marks a nearby prepper stash on the map and gives a notification.]

- [General] “You know what surprises me? That the Project didn’t try to shut off the power plant to at least portions of the county. Sure lots of people are preppers or woodsmen and such, but electricity makes everything easier for us. Weird, ain’t it? They have the technicians for it I’m sure. Guess we should thank our lucky stars they either didn’t think of that or decided it wasn’t worth it. We’d be straight out of ice cold beer then, Whitehorse would hate that.” - [If the Deputy is taking the no-kill route] “Hey I just want to say...I appreciate you trying not to kill people, even if some of these cultists are absolute motherfuckers who deserve it. We might be able to stop all their prophecy crap dead in its tracks if you keep this up. And...you know. Thanks for not killing my crazy relatives? I think. They’ve done a lot of bad shit and they need to answer for that, but...the right way, not backwoods murder. We’re better than that, I hope.” - [If the Deputy is taking the killing route] “I get wanting to kill the Seeds and the cult...but this isn’t going to end well, even after we’re done. I wish you wouldn’t, but I can’t stop you if this is the choice you’ve made. ...I’m sorry I can’t be of more help to you. I...hope you’ll be alright, in the end. But I don’t think you will be.” [Recall that Joshua Knows What Will Happen To The Deputy if they take the canonically-based killing route. He leaves before the final confrontation, and curiously Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson don’t show up in the final scene either—ie, whichever route the Deputy chooses, they survive elsewhere (coughcough Joshua’s secret bunker cough.) The scene with Joseph still happens more or less the same, only the Deputy leaves alone if they choose Walk Away, and ends up alone with Joseph if they choose Resist. Also interestingly enough: Dutch isn’t present on the radio, nor in his bunker. His fish have been taken too. Joshua didn’t have the time to grab everyone, so he tried to grab the ones he knew for sure would die, and warned the others that he foresaw not surviving the Collapse or aftermath, like Mary May and Jess Black, or who suffered serious injuries like Grace. His buds Sharky and Hurk he bribes with beer and weed to hide out in their bunker or hang out in his while this goes down. Boomer, Cheeseburger, and Peaches are all herded to safety (yes there are mechanics for that in the standard AU verse, we shan’t delve into them here though bc spoilers tho.) The others he tries to warn, but whether he managed to get to them and some of the other latter people mentioned above in time or not is uncertain.] - [If the Deputy switched from a killing route to a no-kill route and all of the Seeds are still alive, Joshua sounds relieved] “Hey, I know it’s...it’s hard to hold off pulling the trigger when someone who’s hurt so many people is in your gunsights, but...I do think bringing them in for actual processing through the legal system—a proper trial without bullshit—is the better way. For all of us. Thank you.” - [If the Deputy switched from a no-kill route to a killing route, sounds slightly devastated] “...Why?” - [If the Deputy is doing a “neutral” run of killing significant numbers of cultists, but is sparing the Seeds as they go] “...I appreciate you not killing the murdery head-cult-family members, but…you think we could maybe lighten up on killing the rank and file? They don’t have the big names and they aren’t the leaders, but those are still people. They are responsible for their own actions, not saying they aren’t, but many of them are redeemable. Not all of them, but...maybe we can just lay them out in the infirmary for a good long while instead? Nothing permanent. The bad ones though can fall off a cliff.”

- [If the Deputy is doing a “selective killing” run of not killing rank and file cultists, but is in the process of killing all the Seed Heralds. Joshua sounds conflicted.] “I appreciate you not killing the followers, though some of them are definitely bastards who shouldn’t be allowed to walk free for the shit they’ve done, but...you think we could...maybe not kill the Seeds either? The Seeds are the primary responsible parties, not contesting that, but maybe we can just kick their asses and arrest them instead? It might help dampen the chaos somewhat, maybe we can use ‘em for leverage. We certainly could hide them somewhere secure that the Peggies wouldn’t be able to find ‘em. It’d be easier to talk Joseph down too, using his siblings as leverage.” [See above for killing route ending details.] Also? We’re driving in separate cars. Don’t turn on the radio, stay away from the others. You’re still brainwashed, and dangerous.” [Joshua is disappointed in the Deputy for not having stuck to some manner of universal moral principle.] - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, you wanna play a game of checkers, or chess? Take five for a bit, if you got the time?” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, not to be mushy or anything, but...thank you. For being you. It’s inspiring to see someone’s able to take the higher path when everything’s falling to pieces all around us. Makes me have a little bit more faith in humanity, too.” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route, and has been on said no-kill route for a decent amount of time,] “Hey, we grabbed some really good produce this time around and sent it on over to Casey. Told him I’d tell you to swing by, and asked him to save some for you in case you were interested. They’ve got some fresh beef for burgers and sandwiches, pumpkin pie, apple pie, loaded baked potatoes, and all kinds of other tasty stuff for a cookout. The Ryes are coming round to help pitch in and organize it all as a little morale boost party. Wanna come? You deserve to put up your feet and relax, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d appreciate your company if you felt like joining in. If you’d rather not, I can sneak food to you if you want quiet time to yourself. It’s all good, just tell me what you want and where you want it.”

Location Specific:

- Near where the police station was, if it’s been burned down: [Sighs.] “While I’m not missing the paperwork that got torched, there was a nice feel of history to the old place. Wish they hadn’t burned it down, fuckers. But, well...the Project and the Seeds have good reason to have no love for police and authority figures among others, even before all this horribleness and the leadup stuff came down. So I can’t say I’m surprised they did.”

- Upon entering the Spread Eagle, if friendly: “Finally, a place where everybody knows our names instead of yelling “Deputies!” at us all day! Wanna hit up the arcade? I’ll buy the first round if you get the higher score.”

- Seed Ranch, outside if it hasn’t been liberated, inside if it has been liberated: “Never going to understand why some folks want real airy houses with so much dead space as their main living quarters. Feels more like a knickknack museum you’re supposed to look at, not a home you’re supposed to live in. He’s got all this Eden’s Gate paraphernalia in those glass display cases, and I don’t doubt John’s fervent in his beliefs, but it feels more like a rich boy’s hunting and vacation lodge cobbled together with a vague idea of home. You saw the doghouse out back, right? What’s the point of having a dog live outside if you’ve got ALL this space, it’s all finished wood floors, and you’ve made sure to train ‘em and raise ‘em properly so they know not to chew on the furniture? It’s lonely, that’s what this is. Joseph chides John and all that about learning to love, but it’s a case of the blind leading the blind there.” - Outside St. Francis Veterans Center: [Before the Veterans Center is liberated, if Jacob has captured the Deputy at least once, so the song “Only You” is played around the Center, and the melody starts to be audible in the distance as the group approaches.] “Yeah hey, I’m going to go the other way now and wait for you over here where I can’t hear the song of madness, ‘kay? Maybe you should avoid it too.” [This is followed by Joshua refusing to go too close to the Center, sans possible AU story missions.] - Anywhere near Joseph’s Island: [The first time the party gets near Joseph’s Island,] “Uh. No. I’m not going near that place twice any sooner than we need to.” [Watch Joshua be willing to jump out even into deep water and swim away if the Deputy tries to approach the island with him in tow on a boat.]

OC Fighting Style

Tagged by @chyrstis !! Thank you for the tag!! :D <3 This was another fun one to fill out (and shorter than the above but you know what we’re stapling all of these bad boys into one post bc Why Not.) Have an aesthetic picture of a Jacob sheep skull upon a sheep skin for the fun implications of what that says about Joshua’s fighting style. xD Ram skull image after some searching was sourced from [here], with a creative commons license for free-to-reuse, with some limitations.

Rules: bold = often (or always), italics = sometimes, default = rarely, strike = never

fight honorably / fight dirty / prefer close-quarters / prefer range / chat during / go silent / low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance / attack in bursts / attack steadily / go for the kill / aim to disarm / fight defensively / bait an opponent’s first strike / strike first / provoked easily / provoke their opponent / tease / get visibly frustrated / shout while attacking / use strategy / focus on their battle / experience conflicting thoughts during battle / rush in recklessly / try to read their opponent before fighting / fight wildly / fight calmly, apathetically / fight with anger / fight with excitement / fight because they have to / fight because they want to / fight without regard to wounds / run away when wounded / hide wounds / take a blow to protect another / prefer a blade / prefer a gun (non lethal rounds/tranquilizer darts) / prefer a bow / prefer a shield / prefer a spear naginata / prefer a personalized weapon / prefer psychic abilities / prefer brawling / their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional / transform for battle / fight as they appear / rely on strength / rely on speed / use everything they have / hide their full potential / exhaust quickly / high stamina / doubt their strength / proceed with caution / behave arrogantly / brag after landing a hit / belittle their abilities / use psychological tactics / use brute strength / avoid civilians / strike down civilians / damage surroundings / avoid damaging surroundings / signature fighting style / making it up as they go / mastered skillset / learning their skillset / fancy footwork / sloppy footwork / messy fighter / elegant fighter / accept defeat / refuse defeat / beg for mercy / compliment their opponent / insult their opponent / use unnecessary movements / move efficiently / barely move / prefer to dodge / prefer to block / defend their blindside / has no blindside / use all available advantages / strictly use one main method / play around / hold back / fight ruthlessly / show mercy / wait for opponent to be ready / strike when opponent isn’t ready / fear death / fear pain / fear killing / has PTSD / avoid fighting / has lost a fight / has won a fight / has killed / refuses to kill / want to die standing / would succumb slowly

WIP Day

Tagged by @chyrstis and @hawkfurze !! Thank you for the tags!! :D <3

An excerpt from the current WIP chapter for ACABH: ————————— Weak. He was so weak, barely able to move right now, and he didn’t even know why. There was pain, a lot of pain, a feeling like his bones were on fire and about to crumble under pressure at any moment—but he’d been through worse. In this instance, he could recall that he’d fallen through the sky for a brief tumultuous time before gravity had stepped in, leading to him landing hard upon the road, as if making up for the lack of physics earlier. —————————

#FC 5 #Far Cry 5 #FC 5 AU #Far Cry 5 AU #WIP #WIP Wednesday #ask game #tag game #Deputy Joshua Rook #long post

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pugoata · 5 years

Link

Day 6 - Beach Day (a bent the rules a little bit about the beach part, but it still stands)(We’re getting one in Anchor, so don’t complain)

(Also, quick note: If you haven’t read Shelter, you should still be able to read this one-shot without being TOO confused, but this takes place in the Shelterverse. Also, there are non-graphic depictions of goat breedings in this chapter.)

(Also, this is FILTH. What I’m putting under the cut is just from the beginning... I don’t get explicit in this post. Go to the link for the rest, ya nasties.)

“I hate everything about this,” Blake grumbled. She nearly had a headache from not just the stench and the heat, but from the way she’d been wrinkling her nose all afternoon. Yang laughed even as she tugged Lulu along by a leash. Lulu, not used to being led, planted all four hooves on the ground in resistance. Blake, used to goat theatrics by now, gave the goat a hard shove on the rump, earning them a few more steps toward the breeding pen.

“Well, you’re still here,” Yang pointed out. Blake nodded, opening the gate for Yang to pull Lulu through. “C’mon, girl. I know you want this,” she told the small white goat, who finally took a few more steps. Once inside, Yang unhooked her and shimmied out of the gate, closing it behind her. Job done, she dragged her arm across the forehead to wipe away the sweat that was starting to course down her forehead.

Lulu had been flirting with the male goats, the bucks, all day, like most of the herd. Blake had been amazed by the display when she first saw the goats park themselves along the fence where they could see the boys, bleating desperately. Some of them had turned their butts in the bucks’ direction, tails upright.

Take me, the does had been seeming to beg.

“Am I like that?” Blake had asked in a low voice on the first day she saw it. Yang had laughed and laughed.

Late spring was the official start of breeding season on Summer’s Acres. Tai had made a chart of who would be bred by who, organized by color. Throughout the next few weeks, they’d make an educated guess about who was in heat, put them in with a buck, and hope they bred. For every successful breeding, they would write down the date and in approximately 145 days, the doe would kid.

Tai had gotten the technicalities down to a science, and this was the first day to see his plan put to work. The first doe they’d put in with Hercules had rejected his advances, so they’d pulled her out and brought in Lulu.

“It isn’t always exact,” Yang told her while they watched Hercules approach Lulu, tongue hanging out. “Sometimes, a goat will act like she’s in heat, and then she’s not. Dad’s noticed that when the girls mount each other, it’s usually the bottom one who’s in heat, not the top.”

The face Blake made was all the reply she needed. Yang burst out laughing, not for the first time that day.

“Yeah, yeah. As I said, goats are different than humans.”

“I’m not sure what I’d do if you smelled as badly as Hercules,” Blake replied. Wild-eyed, Hercules made a warbling nose and licked Lulu’s back. She flicked her tail, signaling her interest.

“Oh, please. If you were a goat, you’d be into that.”

When the bucks had gone into rut, it seemed like the whole farm had taken on a sour, musky odor. The heat of the day only made it worse. Blake shook her head. The heat-exacerbated stench had seemed to make all the does go into heat all at once. They were definitely into it.

“Good thing we’re not goats, though I bet you’re still going to smell like one tonight,” Blake told her. Since Blake was still new to goat breeding, Yang had volunteered to handle the rowdy bucks. They’d both stink, but Yang would bear the brunt of it. “As soon as we’re done, you’re taking a shower.”

“I have a better idea.” Yang’s eyes twinkled as they broke away from the caprine foreplay to regard Blake for a moment. It was a mischievous look that set Blake’s heart to racing. “There’s a-- oh. Yeah, that breeding took.”

Blake winced.

Yang wasn’t able to finish her thought until the pair had gone a couple more rounds. She took the clipboard, marking the date beside Lulu’s name. In three weeks, they’d see if she went back into heat, Yang explained, but usually, the one breeding was all it took. The boys were potent, and Lulu had been receptive. In the goat world, it was as easy as that.

“What I was saying,” Yang explained, opening the door and releasing Lulu back into general population, “is that once we’re done here, we can go swimming. There’s a creek nearby that Ruby and I used to go to when we were kids. And Dad said that once we finished up here, we can be free for the rest of the afternoon.”

“He probably just didn’t want to work with you when you stink,” Blake teased. With a snort, Yang seized her around the waist. Blake shrieked, shoving Yang away with a laugh. “Stop! You’re gonna make me stink.”

“Well, the pretty girl goats will think you’re sexy!” She released a still-laughing Blake, then looked around at the herd. “All right, let’s grab Fuckin’ Rhonda. I’m pretty sure she’s in heat, too.”

All told, they only managed four successful breedings that day. For all the flirtation, not as many does had been as receptive to the bucks as they’d thought.

“Besides,” Yang told her. “Best-case scenario and they all got knocked up, that’ll mean four goats will be due on the same day. We don’t want to stress ourselves out too much.”

Somehow, Blake didn’t think this upcoming breeding season could be any more stressful than the last one. When she’d moved to the farm that past fall, things had been chaotic and frightening for a few months while she was being stalked, harassed, and nearly killed by Adam. With him gone, the next kidding season was bound to be easier.

Even now, she still had the occasional bad dream about that last night he’d appeared. She knew for a fact that Yang did, too, though she tried to keep them to herself. Time was healing for them, and simply being with each other had done more for their mental well-being than anything else ever could. Any time she heard Yang groan in the night, forehead creasing against whatever she was dreaming about, Blake would curl closer against her. When needed, Yang would always return the favor.

Yang grunted as she escaped the buck pen. Eager to be with the girls, all six of the bucks had clamored to the gate, surrounding Yang with their furry bodies and their aroma in their attempt to get out.

“Yang…” Blake said as seriously as she could, stifling a smile. “You reek.”

“And now I’ll be irresistible to the ladies!” Yang waggled her eyebrows. “Though, there’s only one lady I want to be irresistible to.”

“Yeah, but right now? You’re super resistible.”

“Ouch. My poor, delicate heart.” Yang clutched at her chest dramatically. “I’m too sensitive for such words.”

“Oh, shut up,” Blake muttered. Stink or no stink, she grabbed Yang by the shirt, drawing her in for a kiss.

#rwby #rwby fic #bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumbleby week #bmblbweek #margaret this is inappropriate #farmer bees are back!

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closetofanxiety · 5 years

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Fight for the Fallen: Thoroughly OK-ish

I watched AEW’s third show on Saturday, and let me tell you: it was OK.

I think I’m just becoming impatient with waiting for the weekly show to start, so we can finally get a clear idea of what this company is going to look like. A string of exhibition-type shows threaded together by various YouTube series is not going to be the model; that’s every indie company on earth right now. This show did not really give any more hint about the eventual direction of AEW on TNT than either previous show, and to boot, had worse matches overall. The panic in some online quarters is unjustified; they’re still starting out, and in a much better position than any non-WWE wrestling company since the 1990s. Still, if this was my first exposure to AEW, I don’t know whether it would leave me eager for more.

The Good

* The pre-show was much better! It was short, it was mostly matches and video packages, and the cringe-inducing comedy was kept to a reasonable minimum.

* The crowd seemed really into MJF, Sammy Guevara, Shawn Spears, Joey Janela, and, especially Darby Allin in their six-man tag match (for which Jimmy Havoc was also present). Darby Allin has gotten over more in two AEW shows than he did in two years with EVOLVE. This was basically a sampler plate of what these guys are capable of, but the crowd heat really indicates they could have future stars on their hands.

* Speaking of future stars: holy cow are A Boy And His Dinosaur over. People were NUTS for Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy, ably assisted by Marko Stunt. Even if you know nothing about them, they’re an immediately compelling visual: a giant-dinosaur man, a feral jungle boy, and (as Spectacle of Excess noted) a Hobbit. I not only want to see them wrestle a bunch, I want to go on adventures with them.

* Awesome Kong seems like she’s going to be a regular member of the roster, and they teased a Kong vs. Kong feud when Aja Kong came out to stare down Awesome.

* Kenny Omega vs. CIMA was great. A state-of-the-art wrestling match from two vets who, incredibly, had not wrestled each other before.

* Excalibur continues to impress on commentary.

* Jericho’s promo was good stuff.

* The video packages are really well done. One of the problems that other would-be majors have had in competing with WWE is that they look second-rate and cheap in terms of production value. AEW does not have this problem: they are already at the WWE’s level in terms of set building, camera quality, and pretaped packages. This seems like a minor deal, but it’s important for casual fans and newbies; while you and I may crave the gritty haphazard nature of a small-town indie show headlined by someone named the Midnight Fatso, people who have not yet been totally infected by the wrestling bug are immediately put off by anything that screams “second-rate.” Making AEW look like a sports show or network reality show is a hugely important step for them.

The Bad

* There were a couple of production screw-ups that really made the show feel like amateur hour: when the broadcast began running garbled closed-captioning during the women’s tag match, and then at the end of the show when Matt Jackson was doing his post-match promo and got shut down by a music cue like it was the Oscars and someone’s award acceptance speech was running too long.

* They should put someone in charge who does not wrestle matches. They’re too self-indulgent in terms of pacing and length when it comes to their own stuff. The Hangman Page vs. Kip Sabian match felt like it lasted for hours, and the main event tag team bout took way too long. It seemed like they decided to do an old school, Southern-style match as a riposte to critics who deride them as spot monkeys, but guess what: those critics are never going to be won over. And the people who like the Young Bucks for being the Young Bucks are unlikely to fall in love with a match where one heat segment on Matt featured the Rhodes boys working over his left arm for EIGHT MINUTES. You don’t want one of your VPs/top tier stars muttering “I guess we’re short on time” into a live microphone at the end of your show because his segment is being cut short by the production truck. Trim the fat from these matches.

* The women’s tag match was kind of messy, and since we know now that Britt Baker got a concussion midway through, we know the reason for some of that. But whoever agents these matches needs to do a better job communicating with the joshi workers; Riho and Shoko were throwing popcorn punches that visibly didn’t connect, something I noticed also during the joshi match at Fyter Fest. Are they being told to work lighter because Americans aren’t used to the stiff Japanese style? Whatever the case, it made the match look clumsy.

* Ideally in a three-person commentary booth, labor is divided this way: you have a staid play-by-play announcer keeping the action moving; you have a stats monger who provides insight and context; and you have a color commentator, usually an ex-jock, who provides pop and sizzle. Right now in AEW, Excalibur fills all three roles. Jim Ross just seems lost and ornery, while Alex Marvez occasionally chimes in with factoids that sound like he’s reading them off his phone (perhaps he is).

* Is Brandi Rhodes a heel? Before her match with Allie, they showed an ESPN-style video package where she talked about impostor syndrome, about being afraid she can’t hang with the people on the roster who’ve been wrestling for long years, about her insecurities as a performer. This was very well done, and naturally built audience sympathy. She then came out for her match and brought Awesome Kong as muscle, and proceeded to wrestle in a cartoonishly heel fashion, event spitting water in Allie’s face like a member of Oedo Tai. After the match, Brandi and Kong beat Allie down until Aja came out to make the save. Now, a heel whose rulebreaking is fueled by self-doubt and insecurity is a good character, but that’s not how this came across. Just like with Cody, who’s a heel on Being the Elite and a face during live shows, the way this was handled just looked like they don’t know what to do with one of their marquee names.

* I like the openly Memphis nature of the Dark Order, but they are dead in the water with the crowd. They were also the best wrestlers in their three-way match, but again, they got almost nothing from the audience, who doesn’t get (or doesn’t like) what their gimmick is supposed to be. There needs to be a course correction on these guys, because they’re very talented, but the current gimmick is not working.

Miscellaneous

* I once went to a wedding in July in Jacksonville, and let me tell you: I understand why that crowd seemed quiet and deflated. Apparently this specific venue and design was Tony Khan’s dream, but running an outdoor show in North Florida in July, with post-sundown temperatures still at 85 degrees with mushroom-grade humidity, is perhaps not the best strategy. A lively crowd can make an average wrestling show seem amazing, and a dead crowd can make a great wrestling show seem lackluster.

* Having spent some time in Jacksonville, I am familiar with the flamboyant personal injury attorneys Farah & Farah, and was delighted to see not only that they were sponsors of this event, but that Eddie Farah himself was seated ringside, waving a cup of beer around and hollering.

#AEW #Fight for the Fallen #show reviews

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

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AEW - Best and Worst Booking Decisions from Double or Nothing 2020 to 2021

As I promised back in my WWE Post Reviewing the Booking of Mania 35-36 it is time for me to run down AEW's booking over the last year.

Double or Nothing 2020 was AEW's first PPV of the Empty Arena Era, which they pulled off with the inaugural TNT champion being Cody'd, Brian Cage's debut and murder of Darby Allin, Hikaru Shida began her mammoth title reign, Moxley and Brodie Lee put on a fantastic show with their short build and we finished off with the wacky Stadium Stampede. But since then, it's had some ups and downs.

As I said with the WWE one, these are my opinions: some of which will act within hindsight rather than within the moment.

There will also be spoilers from the Dynamite after DoN 2020 to the end of DoN 2021, you have been warned

May 2020 Best - FTR They told us one day they would wrestle the Bucks and the world shall rejoice, and after several teases on BTE following The Revival's release from the E, FTR arrived and the division got even more stacked because of it.

Worst - Mike Tyson loses to his shirt AEW did try with Tyson, pushing for some shared history with Jericho as they began to stand off with one another. But his struggle to cleanly tear off his shirt really made the confrontation awkward and it wouldn't go anywhere.

Best - Baker becomes the Roll Model Baker's injury was a huge blow given how she was finally getting over thanks to her heel turn and bloody battle with Shida. It would've very easily killed her momentum to be off TV, but AEW instead played into Baker's injury by making her flaunt her heelish hilarity, starting with her being a wheelchair-riding 'roll model', this would begin Baker's time entertaining in spite of injury.

Worst - Allie and QT begin What was this huh? Now Allie in a red dress was a sight to behold but the whole romance angle where a very married Allie had a brief period as a babyface and pairing with the also very married QT Marshall. We all knew it was gonna lead to Butcher and Blade jumping the Natural Nightmares, but it really overstayed its welcome.

Best - The TNT Open Challenge We will get more on this but Cody's win of the TNT title was met with concern given the monster push of Lance Archer - not to mention the dismal design of the championship itself. But Cody did his best to add prestige via the weekly Open Challenge, which would showcase a lot of talent in a similar way to Cena's US title Open Challenge.

June 2020 Best - Brodie goes on the Recruitment Prowl Being the leader of the Dark Order, Mr. Brodie Lee needed a new direction after being felled by Jon Moxley. What he decided was to add to his ranks; bringing in Dark Standout Alan Angels, enticing Colt Cabana and extending a hand to Anna Jay. These choices bolstered the Dark Order's ranks to last much longer, especially with their segments in BTE showing all their comedic flair.

Worst - Sammy Guevara eats his words The Speaking Out movement affected AEW just as it did most of wrestling, leading to the release of Jimmy Havoc. But Sammy Guevara also got done in by his egregiously vulgar comments he made regarding his attraction WWE's Sasha Banks in an old interview that had now surfaced. While this isn't a booking decision per se, it was the fault of AEW to have not caught this on their background check. Sammy would rightfully be suspended with a full apology, seminars taken and a direct conversation with Banks herself to make amends.

Best - Red Velvet stirs in Red Velvet would debut on Dark in June, showcasing talent which would later be enhanced and explored later in the year, adding Red Velvet did indeed bolster the women's division a bit more, showing AEW's dedication towards building new stars was still alive.

Best - Wardlow vs Luchasaurus rocks the house Lumberjack matches are more miss than hit, but the long-awaited match between Wardlow and Luchasaurus was a sleeper hit for the month. Big time spots of athletic hosses slapping meat and flipping feet continued to showcase Wardlow's dominance with a big win over the Dino-man, just a good wrestling match worth the wait.

July 2020

Best - Open Challenge Opens Doors Cody's open challenges started with the AEW roster, but they soon expanded to being for indy talent and cross-promotional challengers too: Enter Eddie Kingston. The Mad King made an instant impact in his hardcore challenge against Cody, which quickly earned him a contract with the company. Also among the challengers was Ricky Starks - who would also get a contract - and Warhorse, who had rallied the fans into giving him a shot - and AEW did play into his popularity, having an answer for a lot of Cody's offense until he hurt his leg for the finish. It was smart booking even if Cody was bound to win.

Worst - Cardona's time is Radio Silence You gotta feel bad for Matt Cardona, he has all the makings to be a great star, but he just suffers from either company disinterest, injury or poor timing. The latter was the case for his AEW time, since AEW were having to deal with WWE's COVID outbreak by extension of any partners, Cardona only had a rare appearance backing up Cody a few times and while he did find himself in Impact, it's sadly not as green as the other side.

Best - Sue is Over The Best Friends as babyfaces walk the line perfectly of being a group of goofball man-children but also legitimate and talented wrestlers. The cherry on the top though was the Friends' entrance to Fyter Fest in Trent's mom Sue's mini-van for their tag title match, immediately getting Sue over with fans. Sue would also be a cult figure for BTE in her skits with the Dark Order, being the only person ever to make Brodie Lee break character and corpse.

Worst - Cody cannot elevate Hager Cody's defenses led to Hager (and his wife) looking for a title match, the sale of it being a more legitimate bout with the weigh in and packages didn't pull off in the match though, being quite slow and simplistic. Hager still remains a wrestler who lacks any more potential than what he has now but knows the right people.

Best - Taz promos around Mox's COVID absence Due to the aforementioned outbreak, AEW were forced to reschedule their main event when Renee Young had contracted the virus, exposing their world champion Jon Moxley by extension. This meant that Brian Cage would have to wait longer for their match (though not as long as UK fans are waiting for AEW to come overseas), so AEW decided to let Taz carry them over this predicament, which he did marvelously by reviving his FTW title and handing it to Cage. It added some extra heat and something for Cage to carry around as if he had won the personal victory over Moxley already, and it would lead us into the following week's rescheduled Main Event at Fight for the Fallen.

August 2020 Best - Brodie Destroys Cody After a lot of defenses and Cody getting the 'finished product' TNT title, fans wondered how Cody's defense against Mr. Brodie Lee would go. And boy did we get a spectacle, the Exalted One demolished Cody, Anna Jay then choked out Brandi as the rest of the Dark Order held the Nightmare Family at bay, and we were left with the visual of Brodie on top and Cody and Brandi at their feet, covered in the shredded remains of the old TNT title that Cody had reigned with. It was great storytelling and a great way to elevate Brodie as well as finally putting the Dark Order over, the stable rode the highest they had been since their debut while Cody disappeared to film for the Go Big Show.

Worst - Bea and Sadie get released, Mel stays AEW did their best to keep as many people they could during the Pandemic, but due to the travel restrictions Bea Priestley was very much land locked and Sadie Gibbs was not getting a second chance at her botched debut. It was a shame because of how talented both women were, Bea especially since rumor has it she might be en route to the E. What was baffling was that Mel, of the failed Nightmare Collective, remains on AEW's payroll despite not having appeared for over a year, hard to add that up.

Best - Thunder Rosa makes her challenge Before the Forbidden Door, NWA opened their doors to AEW while the pandemic prevented them from filming shows. With champion Hikaru Shida lacking a built-up challenger, fans were interested in Thunder Rosa's intrigue about Shida's challenge, and would be pleased to see AEW roll with it too. Rosa and Shida made for a great cross-promotional feud which'd lead to a great match in the following month. To this very day, Thunder Rosa's appearance on AEW is one of the brand's most vital steps in terms of strengthening their women's division.

Worst - The Deadly Draw is on Youtube Speaking of the Women's Division, AEW had also decided to have an all-women's tournament called the Deadly Draw. 'Random' tag teams would be forged in a tag tournament that'd give women some time to show their stuff. Unfortunately, this would mostly be on Youtube - save for the Finals - and be dominated by Fans' disdain that Allie and Brandi were making the finals. The method of picking was not handled well since we didn't really get any mismatch teams aside from Nyla, and the amount of women we got were not all spectacular with Rache Chanel and the former Cameron being a part of it. While Ivelisse and Diamante would win too they only got some crappy medals, all of which leaves a bitter taste following Ivelisse's release.

Best - Deadly Draw gives us Conti, Diamante and Savoy That being said, the Deadly Draw had its saving graces. For one the use of Veda Scott on commentary, Madusa as the host and Shaul Guerrero as the announcer were nice touches, we also got to see Tay Conti, Diamante, Ivelisse and Nicole Savoy wrestle - the middle two win. Conti would turn out to be the most important of the lot with her team and friendship with Dark Order's Anna Jay, getting over because of their chemistry and making it to the semi-finals.

Worst - Conti to Dark Order doesn't develop Conti and Anna's friendship meant that soon after, Jay had extended an offer for her friend to join the stable. For weeks we saw Conti carry around this invitation but then: nothing. Conti never joined Dark Order and this didn't beget any friction between the friends either - in the end it became a missed opportunity as Conti dances on the edge of being supported by the Dark Order but not a part of the Dark Order.

Best - Jericho and Cassidy Debate With Mike Tyson unable to appear more to feud with Jericho, AEW slotted over-as-fuck Orange Cassidy to face Jericho. While Jericho got the win in the first match, we were graced with a fun 'debate' hosted by Schiavone and with a guest appearance of Eric Bischoff. Cassidy's monologue during the debate was great too.

Worst - Cassidy's first win over Jericho isn't as big as it should be Unfortunately, when Cassidy did get the win over Jericho was not as good as the first, getting clunky at times with some miscommunication and slow pacing. They would have their rubber match in the gimmicky Mimosa Mayhem which would also be a bit of a mixed bag.

Best - Hardy and the Mad King Squad Up Despite solid starts, Private Party, Lucha Bros and Butcher & the Blade had struggled a little to find success in AEW, but they would gain some benefit by associating with Matt Hardy and Eddie Kingston. Hardy worked well as a mentor to the similar styled tag team to his younger years, while Kingston's evil grin to the camera did signal that Kingston's new squad would be up to no good.

Best - Moxley and Allin make another classic Allin and Moxley somehow just click, they click so well that you could put them in a match every week and people wouldn't complain, hell there's fanart of Moxley essentially adopting Allin in the same vein as Shota 'Shooter' Umino. Anyway, Allin vs Moxley is always fantastic, and it made sense for the feud that was growing.

Best - You're Out of the Elite! Hangman's slow burn storytelling has been sublime, and it was at a new height when FTR started sniffing around Hangman like lions around a wounded gazelle. Feeding into Hangman's alcoholism - established since his inability to beat Jericho or PAC in his hunt to be world champion - FTR exposed doubt within Page that the Bucks were ousting him out and would soon turn on him. All of which were mind games to sow discontent between him and Omega in their bid for the tag titles. The cherry on the top came with Hangman's removal from the Elite, after a stellar feud in Revolution being brought up, Hangman impulsively screwed out the Bucks from getting another title match, after a dressing down and being kicked out of the group we pan to a shot of Hangman staring into a mirror cracked - perfect storytelling.

Best - MJF campaigns against Moxley MJF had been undefeated and fans have wondered when rather than if he would get his shot. And when he set his eyes on Moxley it is spectacular. The faux presidential campaign was right up MJF's alley as he looked to write out Moxley's go-to finish of the Paradigm Shift, this also had great easter eggs like MJF emulating Samoa Joe's shove on him to one of his entourage, as well as his lawyer Sterling being a good addition for the feud.

September 2020 Best - Allin/Starks, Johnson/Carter are bangers September came out with some very impressive matches, for Dynamite it was the culmination of Allin and Starks' feuding but on Dark we got unsigned Lee Johnson and Ben Carter blow the roof off, immediately both names were a topic of scouting and it remains a top level match.

Worst - Billy Mitchell's cameo Early into Miro's debut we got some vignettes of 'The Best Man' enjoying his other past-time as a gamer. While this wasn't the right way to go in hindsight, the cameo of Billy Mitchell - a controversial figure in Arcade Gaming - was quite out of place for AEW as well, many having to look up who the dude was anyway and why many gamers were disgruntled about it. 'Celebrity' Cameos can only really work if you know who they are.

Best - Kingston stories a weird finish into a Title Match It would've been a Worst moment on this list when Eddie Kingston lost a battle royale for a title shot by being pushed off the turnbuckle despite leaving to the apron via the middle rope. However, when winner Archer came down with COVID, AEW was put in a reverse Fyter Fest scenario, a champion but no opponent. This allowed Kingston an in to use the fact that he never technically went over the top rope to barter a title match, which he used to impressive effect.

Worst - Sydal Slips The Shooting Star Press is a difficult move to pull off, and dangerous to botch. It had also been the staple of Matt Sydal, who was the Joker in the Casino Battle Royale of All Out, but when he did his Shooting Star he slipped and faceplanted. While it's not a booking decision it is a sore spot, Sydal has partly recovered as a full time worker and a mini-feud with Nakazawa to save face on the botch, but he has only once tried the move again.

Best - Will Hobbs impresses When Sydal botched and hit the floor though, Will Hobbs was the one you saw roll over inconspicuously to check he wasn't hurt. The youngster had already been impressing on AEW Dark on a regular basis and his appearance alone in the Battle Royale was an encouraging sign. Hobbs would also put on a strong performance in that match, which would lean in on being more utilized on Dynamite, his momentum would also carry to Double or Nothing with another strong run in a Battle Royale mostly pitted against Christian Cage.

Worst - The Matt Hardy incident Perhaps the lowest point of All Out was the Broken Rules Match. Hardy and Sydal had overshot their spear spot from a forklift to a table and Hardy hit his head hard. Hardy wobbled with signs of concussion as the match to and fro'd about being called off, Hardy though was having none of it - since the stipulation would have him retire had he lost - he would continue for a scaffolding spot for the finish but it did put a lot of heat on Guevara and AEW for allowing the match to continue. Matt would make a recovery and have a cinematic match with Sammy to finish the tainted feud, but from there BROKEN Matt Hardy was seldom seen.

Best - Deeb arrives Serena Deeb is one of the most technically gifted women on wrestling. Someone so grossly underutilized by WWE that it's baffling that the best thing they would do with her on the main roster is shave her head for the admittedly great Straight Edge Society but then release her for not keeping up kayfabe in her personal life. This was the month though that the current NWA Women's Champion debuted on AEW Dark and would later get signed, Deeb adds veteran experience and technical mastery to AEW's women's roster and she is a cert to be AEW Women's Champion someday.

Worst - Fans fight Tooth and Nail but Swole/Baker doesn't deliver Despite Britt Baker's rise to superstardom, her return feud with Big Swole became a bit of a mishit. The build was fine with Swole often getting the better of the wheelchair-bound Baker, so for Baker's return AEW had set a cinematic match in her dentist's office. The match was placed on the Buy-In, which pissed a lot of fans off and had them strong-arm Khan into putting it as the opener, and it didn't pay off. The match was par at best, ending with Baker losing as well, while the quickly-put-together match of Private Party vs Silver & Reynolds shone brightly on the Buy In in the spot this match should've taken. Listening to fans is of course good but AEW had the hindsight to judge whether the match was worth it in the eyes of the fans and they picked wrong.

Best - Parking Lot Brawl But for every par match AEW has they always sneak in a blinder, and it was Best Friends' 5-Star Parking Lot Brawl against Santana & Ortiz that pulled it off. With Orange Cassidy coming out of the boot of the car, Santana & Ortiz's Dead Presidents' appearance and Sue getting a brand new minivan and flipping off the Inner Circle duo at the end, the match was a fantastic closer for the night.

October 2020 Best - Brandon Cutler gets the W Brandon Cutler had AEW's longest losing streak, and they loved to ham it up, except Peter Avalon also had AEW's longest losing streak too. They had tried working together but couldn't find the common ground, so when Avalon turned on Cutler we were set for one of these men to get the win. After two no contests due to double count outs and double disqualifications, Cutler and Avalon had a no rules rubber match on Dark and it was great. Cutler got his win in probably AEW Dark's best feud storytelling - though it probably should've been on Dynamite or even the Buy In of the PPV - giving a payoff years in the making.

Worst - Nyla/Shida II is built on Dark Hikaru Shida had gone through the majority of the Women's Roster, so with new manager Vickie Guerrero, Nyla Rose wanted her title back. The problem however was that all of Vickie's calling out of Shida after a Nyla squash was on Dark, so the match was poorly built. You feel bad for Tony Khan because he tried this so more eyes would go on Dark but it was also a reminder that title matches should be built on the Main Show.

Best - MJF and Jericho get musical MJF had decided once again to try and get in with the Inner Circle, only this time he was faring better thanks to his chemistry with Chris Jericho. What we got was Le Dinner Debonair, a pompous, broadway-esque musical scene that fit the larger than life and delusional heel aura of both men's ego. While some people called it 'too goofy', it was also named one of the best TV moments of the year.

Worst - Miro feuds over an Arcade Machine Fans wanted one thing from Miro: the beast, but AEW did not lead with that. Instead they had him feud with Best Friends because they were thrown into an Arcade Machine he was playing. While it's not the level of feuding over shampoo, it was still rather dumb and contrived given how the rest of this weak feud was telegraphed leading up to Kip and Penelope's wedding - despite Miro's attempts to subvert Wrestling Wedding Tropes.

Best - Leyla legitimately impresses In October, 'Legit' Leyla Hirsch came out of nowhere and made the best of her moment. A non-title debut against champion Hikaru Shida on Dark proved an extremely entertaining affair as Hirsch got to showcase her physicality, and then that was followed instantly by a NWA Women's Title shot against Deeb on Dynamite - which she also really impressed in. While it took a while for AEW to announce Leyla as a signing, it was a definite plus to see Olympic qualities in the Women's Division.

Worst - Jericho can't get Luther over When Jericho got a whole Dynamite to celebrate 30 years in the business he had a lot on his plate, several cameos from Slash and Hiroshi Tanahashi made it a special moment but the Main Event didn't work. Luther is sadly another one of those Brutus Beefcake cases of knowing the right people, and while Luther could probably go when he was younger, currently he isn't the best. People wondered if Jericho could carry Luther in his match with Chaos Project but unfortunately it didn't land, Luther after all has his place on the undercard throwing Serpentico around, he doesn't need any more than that.

Best - The Cleaner shows signs of returning After an Anniversary Show meant that Moxley had gone through another opponent in his mammoth title reign, AEW had set up a tournament to name the new Number 1 Contender. At this time as well FTR had already dealt with Hangman and Omega but their post-match embrace was not reciprocated by Omega, who had more or less washed his hands with his partner. The two were in different places, Page had descended further into the bottom of a drink without any of his friends while Kenny had become focused upon being a singles competitor again. Metaphorically winking to the hard cam, Omega would enter in an over the top fashion with cheerleaders of the Jacksonville Jaguars dancing with brooms to hark the slow arrival of the Cleaner. His disgruntled face after squashing Sonny Kiss was also meme quality.

Worst - Brodie's Reign is cut short Brodie Lee's TNT title reign was great, it had put the Dark Order on top and his segments on BTE were extremely entertaining too. An emphatic return of the dark haired Cody Rhodes did invite a rematch which would be a more brutal affair than Cody's prior squashing, but sadly Brodie would not retain. His reign only lasted a month and in hindsight that would be the only time Brodie held gold, while he stated he had no regrets on how short his reign was it was not great booking to put it immediately back on Cody as if Brodie only held it because Cody had another show to record.

Best - Dog Collar Match was great Result notwithstanding though, the Dog Collar match proved as brutal as it was entertaining. Another match that elevated the TNT title's prestige, Lee and Cody tore into each other in a match that could've easily screamed Vince Russo late-WCW failure. But the men pulled it off with their raw talent and nobody looked bad out of it.

November 2020 Best - Kenny vs Hangman I Since AEW's inception, Hangman Page has been on a slow course to squaring off against Kenny Omega. This came to a head in the finals of the No.1 Contendership Tournament, the confident Kenny vs the angsty Page proved an effective opener which further spiralled Hangman into depression while Kenny would return to the top of the card.

Worst - Hornswoggle in a nappy? The Inner Circle's Vegas skit was probably too much, it had some good moments like Hager and Wardlow continually staring at each other as they beat up people in the club, also the appearance of an Elvis Impersonator and Konnan. But the bit finished on a weird note trying to homage The Hangover by having WWE's former Hornswoggle appear in a baby's nappy, it was just weird no ways around it.

Best - Cargill and Top Flight make an impression November saw the debuts of new members of the Women's and Tag Division. The Martin brothers impressed as the new vibrant and athletic tag team, putting on a wild show against The Bucks. Jade Cargill would start AEW by confronting Cody with the tease of one Shaquille O'Neal, but the moment the camera panned to Cargill she had one word printed on her and it was 'Star'. While Top Flight are halved by injury, Cargill has continued to show her growth.

Worst - Shida vs Abadon has a short build When Abadon debuted on AEW Dark she put on an impressive match with then-not-champion Hikaru Shida, the story being that Shida was weirded out by the Living Dead Girl. Since then, Abadon had been undefeated in her sporadic appearances - partly delayed by injury - so she was put on a course to reignite this storyline with Shida. However, they didn't get enough time, only a couple segments of Shida trying to prove herself not scared and an AEW Dark segment when Abadon jumped Shida and hit a Cemetery Drive on her. A decent match would follow, but we could've done a lot more.

Best - Hobbs turns to FTW Will Hobbs had grown more and more impressive with each appearance, put over as well in promo by Jon Moxley too gave him a lot of credit. During Darby's feud with Team Taz, Hobbs had often come to make the save to prevent Darby from being injured, however he did have a habit of arriving a little late. This proved to be intentional when Hobbs turned heel, aligning with Team Taz to learn under the ECW Legend. While Hobbs has yet to taste gold, he has of recent found himself elevated by the feud with Christian Cage and should Brian Cage move away from Team Taz, he would clearly be the top choice to take the FTW belt from him.

Worst - Cody Hogan's his title loss When it was time for Cody to drop the TNT belt again, fans would hope that it would be a similar case of Cody putting someone over red hot like he did Brodie. However, instead Darby defeated Cody with a series of roll ups which Cody kicked out in 3.1, a very Hogan vs Warrior title change with Cody also having to keep the spotlight on him by handing the belt to Darby before Darby's moment was further interrupted by Team Taz's attack.

Best - Darby has gold At the very least, Darby being crowned TNT champion after finally beating Cody was a perfect narrative for the talented and albeit batshit crazy masochist Emo Skater Boy. Darby's reign would also be consistently good and maintain Allin's star aura against opponents of all shapes and sizes.

Best - PAC is BAC Due to COVID, several of AEW's international talents were land-locked and unable to appear, but when the UK's borders loosened slightly The Bastard PAC made an emphatic return to reestablish Death Triangle. This had also come off the heels of Eddie Kingston trying to sway Penta away from his brother and kick Fénix out of his group. PAC's mini-feud with Kingston would remind the world that AEW had some world class talent to put in against Kenny Omega as well as reminding the world that PAC is just amazing as a wrestler.

Best - Bunkhouse match blows the roof off Dustin Rhodes seems to have carved an interesting spot for himself as the 'Obscure Gimmick Match Master'. Currently teasing a Bullrope match with Nick Comoroto, he shone brightly in the culmination of the long-winded QT/Allie storyline which lead to a Bunkhouse Match against the Butcher and the Blade. It had old school qualities with amazing spots that continued a long chain of AEW pulling off impressive gimmick matches even if the feud wasn't as impressive itself.

Best - Mox and Kingston, Feud of the Year 2020 You know what was an impressive feud though? Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston. Imagine winning feud of the year for something set up in September to November? And most of it was promo, but these were two of the best promo guys in the world, touching on their roots, their former friendship, the lengths either would go and all coming to a head in an I Quit Match. Kingston made you believe every word he said when he declared that he would never quit and he wouldn't stop until he was champion but come the match Moxley proved more resilient than words can be. Getting Feud of the Year is not bad going for what originally started as a one-off title match because Archer got COVID.

December 2020 Best - Brodie Lee Memorial Show Near the end of December the wrestling world was shocked by the death of Brodie Lee, the Exalted One was someone fans really wanted to see be a major world champion someday, but he had tragically succumbed to a Lung condition. At this time too AEW were promoting a 2-part special of New Year's Dash, but delayed the shows a week to put on a memorial show for Brodie. With matches picked by Brodie's eldest son, AEW did perhaps the perfect tribute show, with a perfect blend of clips and tributes paired with matches that honored the Big Rig. Brodie's influence was shown with Silver emulating Brodie's outfit, Eric Redbeard appearing, FTR renaming their Goodnight Express to the Big Rig, and the TNT title being handed to Brodie Lee Jr. - who became AEW's youngest signing - and a special t-shirt being the highest selling t-shirt of 2020, with proceeds going to Brodie's wife, Amanda. Brodie's influence still reigns in AEW as the Dark Order have become somewhat gatekeepers to the TNT title and the quote 'It's [day], and you know what that means' being frequently used or displayed via signs to start off an AEW show.

Worst - Ben Carter slips through their fingers Ben Carter had proven a sensational talent on his AEW showings, quickly having rose to having a match on Dynamite. However, AEW did not get his signature on the dotted line, and the E came a-callin'. The loss of the now-Nathan Frazer was a rough blow for AEW business since it showed that WWE could still outbid them if they wanted someone enough, and AEW made the mistake of not signing him before other companies started sniffing around.

Best - IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! The 'Winter is Coming' special had many big things happen, but one of the biggest of all was the return of Sting. Instantly Sting's T-Shirt sales broke records in AEW (until the Brodie shirt would break Sting's) as the WCW legend had made his return to TNT in a veil of snow staring down Darby Allin, nostalgia was high on this moment.

Worst - STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING does nothing for a month But. There was a problem with Sting's arrival on AEW, he wasn't exactly spry in his 60s and AEW were cautious in wanting him to come back into the ring despite being classed as an active talent. AEW did miss a mark by promoting Sting to just do the same interview over and over, more than once in fact, you gotta do something with Sting to get the fans excited.

Best - Taz chokes out Cody While feuding with Darby, Cody became involved when he dropped the TNT title to Darby and got attacked by Team Taz all the same. When this led to a verbose conflict between Cody and Taz over the legitimacy of the FTW championship, Cody made the mistake of turning his back on Taz after diminishing his philosophy because Taz's son Hook was training under his factory rather than his father. Jake the Snake did warn him not to turn your back on someone you respect, but maybe he should've warned him to not turn your back on a Human Suplex Machine, because Taz immediately put him in the Tazmission - to a huge pop from fans - choking out the younger Rhodes to further personalize their feud.

Worst - Dynamite Diamond Ring doesn't change MJF had used the Dynamite Diamond Ring sporadically as a weapon to cheat in matches, but it anything it was a glorified brass knuckles that had limited prestige. When AEW had the chance to give it new prestige by having it fought over a year after MJF won it, they decided to simply keep it on MJF's pinky finger. As a result we had a battle royale and a match that kinda went nowhere narratively, and AEW should've really just made the ring a one-off or given it to someone else to signify a young up-and-coming talent getting a rub.

Best - The Acclaimed prove they're not all talk Not to be outdone by Top Flight, who they seem destined to have an eternal rivalry with, The Acclaimed put on an impressive showing in their title match with the Bucks too. Max Caster's diss tracks continue to slowly win fans over but this was the moment the Acclaimed turned into a mainstay of AEW's tag division.

Worst - TNT ask for no more surprises While reported months later, fans were alerted that after Sting's debut, TNT had asked AEW to not do any more surprises. Business-wise it made sense since they wanted to promote any big moments on the show for a greater viewership, but Wrestling-wise eliminating the shock factor would be a detriment to the business as a whole. AEW have managed to work their way around such things by promoting 'mystery entrants' or debuting surprise characters between other promoted segments but it is still a questionable decision by TNT to request such a thing.

Best - This is Bear Country Next on the 'XX impress on Dark, get signed up' is the tag team of Bear Country. Different to Top Flight's flippy talent and the Acclaimed's knack for mind games and more technical wrestling was two big hoss men running roughshot War Machine-style, there's not much else you need to sell with that, Bear Country was just good stuff and provided another style AEW's tag division could use.

January 2021 Best - Negative One With Brodie Lee Jr. now signed to AEW, he started to make appearances as Dark Order's new leader 'Negative One'. And instantly, Brodie Jr had become an excellent presence. With great understanding of the business for such a young age, Negative One would delight audiences on Dark and Elevation be it on commentary or simply being the feral prince that often accompanied Preston Vance, Anna Jay and/or Tay Conti. The kid was having the time of his life too.

Worst - TNT title doesn't get revamped enough With the original finished product of the TNT title handed to Brodie Jr, there was an opening to make a new TNT title which learned from the criticisms that the original had. Unfortunately we did not have this, we mostly just got a Black strap. Granted COVID would've been a part of that but given how long Darby's reign was, we could've put work towards giving us a better looking TNT championship.

Best - Dark Order turn face, help the Hangman On BTE Dark Order found their feet with their flair for comedy, one of the segments that began this was Evil Uno's selling of Brodie's throwing of papers, the bit originated from Lee discovering that Hangman had once reached out to the Dark Order website sometime at the beginning of his depression spiral. Because of the rejection, the Dark Order had fostered an animosity against Page with frequent 'Fuck Hangman' chants, and yet Hangman would sporadically appear in their hangout, starting his own 'Fuck Hangman' chant when kicked out of the Elite in a brutal show of Page's self-loathing. From there though the Dark Order had softened to the Anxious Millennial Cowboy and after a face turn they had grown to become AEW's most popular faction and a much-needed friend for Page. While Hangman wouldn't officially join the Dark Order, it definitely proved to be an entertaining chapter in Page's story from an unlikely source.

Worst - Team Taz will jump Darby, but not Sting During their feud, Team Taz were seen to jump Darby Allin whenever they could, didn't matter if he had Cody or Moxley on his side they would still try to get the upper hand on the TNT champion. But now that Sting has arrived, Team Taz decided to stop doing that. As much as it was AEW protecting Sting from bumps, it really diminished Team Taz as well because five men that included Ricky Starks, Powerhouse Hobbs and Brian Cage were scurrying away from a lone 60 year old with a baseball bat.

Best - Bullet Club in AEW Tama Tonga might refute it, but the appearance of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson in AEW was big, and their arrival to aid Kenny and then to two sweet him with the Bucks was an image definitely worthy of closing the night. From Gallows and Anderson's arrival to AEW led to Impact's doors being opened, which has recently led to Omega being the Belt Collector.

Worst - Callis' feud with the Bucks is gimmicky When Kenny won the AEW World Title at Winter is Coming, he had began a full on chaotic turn with Don Callis as his manager of sorts. The Young Bucks however were still firm babyfaces and were perturbed by Callis' actions that were ousting the Jackson brothers out of Kenny's social circles. Some bits were good, Callis really laying in thick the fact that he felt the Bucks had lost their edge, but the majority of it was a bit too much soap opera for my liking, the fake shiner was probably where it jumped the shark.

Best - Tay Conti shows her improvement against Deeb Tay Conti had grown a lot as a wrestler since her debut, and when set to challenge Serena Deeb for the NWA Women's Championship we had the story of 'Jack of All Trades vs Master of One'. Leaning more into her Judo and martial arts background, Tay Conti showed the wrestling world that she had arrived as a wrestler thanks to the AEW machine. WWE's loss had officially become AEW's gain as Tay Conti continues her rise to perhaps being one of the biggest female stars in the company.

Worst - Archer can't win a feud Having lost to Cody in May and then Moxley on the Anniversary episode, Archer was put in a no-win situation by feuding with Eddie Kingston. Now Kingston is great, but the problem was that both men desperately needed to win a feud for credibility, and Archer was the one who lost. Archer continues to be sold as a monster but also someone who will lose all his major feuds. Suffice to say, more can be done with the Murderhawk Monster.

Best - MJF sows seeds of discontent Having officially gotten in with the Inner Circle, MJF now had Chris Jericho's ear and he was ready to spread his poison. This started with the ousting of Sammy Guevara - Jericho's protege of sorts - before moving on to sowing tension between Jericho and Santana & Ortiz. This would be the beginnings of an excellent swerve by AEW, which we will get to later.

Worst - Santana and Ortiz aren't even the Inner Circle's tag team? Because of MJF's sowing though, we had a weird scenario where the Inner Circle were debating who was their official tag team? Debating between Jericho and MJF the singles competitors, Sammy and Hager the singles competitors or Santana & Ortiz the tag team. In this as well MJF and Jericho won, which was more sowing on MJF's part but it does still leave the worrying sense that AEW's tag division is perhaps too big as Tony Khan waits for the right moment to introduce a Trios title.

Best - Wardlow vs Hager was surprisingly good Another recurring narrative of MJF joining the Inner Circle was Jake Hager and Wardlow staring each other off whenever they could. In order to 'bury the hatchet', Hager challenged the War Dog to a match, and surprisingly this was Hager's best match in an AEW ring so far, big men slapping meat with the right conclusion of Wardlow winning.

Worst - The Waiting Room fades out While Britt Baker was injured but not Wheelchair bound she had started an interview show on Dark called 'The Waiting Room', it had a few flaws here and there but eventually it showed on Dynamite to decent effect. But after that it was gone, which is a shame because it could've easily been a longstanding segment for either of AEW's shows at the time to give some promo segments or interviews to AEW's talent.

Best - Private Party are leeched After working under the wing of 'Big Money' Matt Hardy, Private Party turned heel to compliment Hardy's newfound persona as the Company Leech. The heel turn has somewhat revitalized the once-promising tag team and proved they can play either side, it even got them an Impact Tag Title shot and an impressive match on the PPV.

Worst - Whatever Snoop Dogg was doing Snoop Dogg made an AEW appearance where he was insistent on doing a spot, but it didn't really work - much like it didn't really work when he tried it in WWE. Snoop as a guest wasn't the worst idea in the world and it is good that he's willing to bump on the show, but could does not always mean should.

Best - Jungle Boy and Dax put on a masterclass In the middle of FTR's midcard feud with Jurassic Express - the one that'd involve Marko Stunt being kidnapped - Dax Harwood and Jungle Boy crossed paths in an excellently technical match. The match received high praise that'd further put Jungle Boy over while also giving worthy praise for Harwood's wrestling ability.

Best - Jungle Boy gets some Baltimora While on the subject of Jungle Jack Perry, Tony Khan had decided that he had a library of songs he owned or could own and use as entrance themes for some of AEW's more earmarked talent. This would begin with Jungle Boy, who was given Baltimora's 'Tarzan Boy' per the suggestion of Joey Janela. Immediately Jungle Boy had something the fans could use to rally behind, a chantable song that embraced all that Jungle Boy's character was.

February 2021 Best - JD Drake makes an impression JD Drake does not look like AEW's typical wrestler, but that's the point. On his debut on Dark he surprised many with his great offense and agility, even able to pull off a moonsault. Quickly Drake was signed and becomes the odd one out but also the oft-ignored voice of common sense in the Wingmen faction of prettyboys. He's having a lot of fun with it too and has put on good matches, recently against Rocky Romero.

Worst - Women's Eliminator Tournament partly goes on Youtube The Women's Eliminator Tournament opened up the Women's Division in a big way, but COVID meant that not all of it could be filmed in Jacksonville. So like the Deadly Draw, the tournament had to spend some of its time on Youtube. Now I have no problem with Youtube being used, it's a wider medium that can be accessed at any time, but it did mimic the downsides of the Deadly Draw and alienate the TNT-only audience, especially since Dynamite rarely showed highlights of the tournament progress.

Best - Women's Eliminator Tournament exceeds expectations That is however, the only criticism with hindsight one can give the Eliminator Tournament. Because not only did it give us the return of Riho, Yuka Sakazaki, Ryo Mizunami, Emi Sakura and Aja Kong, but it also graced us with the talented debuts of Maki Itoh, VENY (aka Asuka, who also wore Hana Kimura's robe) and Mei Suruga. In addition Shida provided Japanese commentary for the Joshi matches sporting a strikingly beautiful white suit. The tournament did not have a bad match at all; with VENY vs Sakura, Suruga vs Sakazaki, Sakazaki vs Sakura (which had Sakura perform a fantastic entrance), Serena Deeb vs Riho, Leyla Hirsch vs Thunder Rosa, Riho vs Rosa, Baker vs Nyla, Conti vs Nyla and the finals were all great and unique matches. The non-tournament 6-woman joshi tag match was also excellent and so was the surprise winner of Ryo Mizunami and her title shot against Shida at Revolution.

Best - Moxley brings the IWGP US Championship Jon Moxley may've lost the AEW World Championship, he still had a title on hand he could use: the IWGP US Championship. While NJPW had intended to keep it mainly on NJPW Strong during COVID, New Japan also allowed Moxley to bring his title on rare occasions to AEW, later to the point where he could defend it. It was definite good business and the next thing is why it was such a big deal.

Best - THE FORBIDDEN DOOR OPENS! 'New Japan will not work with AEW' - that was what we were told in the early stages of AEW, but we held out hope. We got more hope when Harold Meij stepped down from NJPW but still the 'Forbidden Door' remained shut, all the way until Beach Break when a hooded figure came up to Jon Moxley, hit a GTS and revealed himself. KENTA, the holder of the IWGP US Championship Briefcase he won in the inaugural New Japan Cup USA tournament. The internet went wild, the forbidden door was open and there was no way fans will let it close again.

March 2021 Best - Sting debuts cinematically Team Taz's feud with Darby came to a head with a Tag Team Street Fight. It was Sting's first AEW match and fans were concerned on how many bumps he could take - memory of his 'career-ending' match with Rollins echoing in the mind. AEW though would not make that mistake, deciding to go cinematic to protect Sting and give him time to recover from any bumps caused - as well as win the match like one HHH refused to do - the match itself was fantastic with Team Taz and Darby fitting in a ton of extreme spots and Brian Cage just flexing all over the place.

Worst - Archer feuds(?) with Sting After said Street Fight though, Sting continued said momentum with: Interviews. Worse yet these interviews started being interrupted by Lance Archer, who wanted to take Sting's TV time from him. This amounted to nothing as well because after Sting put an endorsement on Archer, the Murderhawk Monster would decide not to fight for a spot and come in to save Sting and Darby from time to time. If we were gonna establish this alliance we could've done more with it, sadly AEW keep on following up Sting wrestling with a ton of Sting talking.

Best - The Pinnacle debut MJF's snaking in on the Inner Circle was paying off dividends, but after an unsuccessful challenge for the tag titles, the Inner Circle had announced a 'War Council' to discuss their future. It looked as though MJF was gonna completely oust out Jericho from his own group, but out came Sammy Guevara. Absent since leaving the group, Guevara had unraveled MJF, revealing that the Inner Circle was wise to MJF's plot all along: except they weren't. MJF had played 5 steps ahead of the Inner Circle, because he wasn't trying to steal his faction, he was setting up his own. FTR, Spears, Wardlow and MJF swarmed the Inner Circle for an epic debut which would be known as the Pinnacle.

Worst - Cody beats Penta despite a shoulder injury At this point fans were beginning to wonder how Cody Rhodes would write himself off of TV. His wife Brandi was halfway through pregnancy and the Rhodes had announced a Miz & Mrs-esque reality show too. So when Cody was kayfabing a shoulder injury and pitted against Penta El 0M, fans were hoping that this time Cody could not finagle his way into defeating a charismatic and popular member of the roster who could use the rub and has a history of kayfabe breaking arms, and yet he did. The feud set up ended up being a one-off that harmed Penta more than it did good, he had done the arm breaker but Cody just shrugged it off and won anyway. It was growing all too apparent that clean Cody losses will remain to be few and far between.

Best - Penta Says that Alex is a Great Hype Man There is one saving grace to the Penta/Cody mini feud though and it's that pseudo-Dark Order member, Spanish announcer and interviewer Alex Abrahantes had been paired with Penta as his translator/hype man. Sporting some Rollins-esque outfitting of gloves and jackets, Abrahantes added extra venom to his translations which of course gave Penta a lot more vibrance. Alex as well seems to be having a whale of a time doing so.

Worst - Team Taz Dissension starts, but will pause for 2 months In the aftermath of their Street Fight defeat, Cage had drawn the ire of his Team Taz comrades by showing Sting some respect. This led to some light tension between Cage and the rest of the team, especially Ricky Starks. While this could've worked towards a Cage face turn, the tension fizzled out, only reigniting recently.

Best - Jade, Velvet and Shaq impress at a Crossroads The special episode 'The Crossroads' had been set up to promote a mixed tag match which served as Jade Cargill and Shaq's AEW wrestling debut. Competing against Cody and Red Velvet, the match did put fan minds at ease by keeping Shaq's spots simple but classic, while Velvet and Cargill ran the show in the ring. Shaq took a table bump as well which was cool and the match started Jade's star-level momentum on a high.

Worst - Shaq just, disappears In the aftermath of the table spot Shaq was put on a stretcher and into an ambulance, but when we went backstage to get some comments from Shaq before being sent off we found that the ambulance was empty. A weird thing considering that in a few days Shaq would be back on TNT anyway like that had no continuity, it was a strange decision nonetheless.

Best - Exploding. Barbed Wire. Deathmatch! AEW and their penchant for gimmick matches is an interesting relationship, but the moment this match was announced it had garnered a lot of hype. I mean it's not every day you see an Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch, and Kenny and Mox had already tore into each other in Full Gear to the point where they legitimately broke state laws. The match was every bit as brutal as promised, homaging Onita many a time through Mox but also with the wired up baseball bat, 99% of the match was freaking awesome.

Worst - Fizzling. Barbed Wire. Deathmatch. Sadly, that 1% that wasn't would be the final visual of the PPV. Moxley is defeated and the whole ring is gonna blow, Kenny and co have scurried and Mox is handcuffed and KO'd in the middle of the ring. Disregarding the warnings of the Butcher, Blade and Bunny, Eddie Kingston rushes in to help his former friend, past enmity be damned, he cannot free Mox in time and in a narratively pivotal act of self-sacrifice drapes himself over Moxley to take the blow. And all we got was a fizzle, a few sparklers and fireworks would end the night unfulfilled, undoing all the good the match had delivered. It would be AEW's most unsatisfying moment caused by a botched ending that could never be undone.

Best - Mox and Kingston reunite to rule the promos Although they could not take back the botched finish, the storyline still allowed a new dynamic of Moxley and Kingston reuniting as chaotic street brothers eyeing up the Elite for a fight. One King of Promo would be enough but two was just fantastic, you could watch Kingston and Moxley bounce off of each other all day and still remain thoroughly entertained.

Worst - Kingston doesn't get a crack at Kenny It was however a shame that draping your body over your friend to protect him from an intended explosion was not enough to validate a feud between said person and the creator of the explosive device. Kingston looked all but set to try and avenge his friend by facing Kenny, but it would not turn out to be. The closest we got was a jump and a One Winged Angel, which is a shame because Kingston vs Kenny would've been fantastic - but alas, Mox and Kingston jumped over Kenny and just went for the tag teams instead.

Best - AEW support Cezar Bononi and his wife Cezar Bononi was doing fine as part of the Undercard faction of the Wingmen with Pretty Peter Avalon, Ryan Nemeth and JD Drake. Behind the curtain though Bononi's wife Camila was suffering from Leukemia and needed a Bone Marrow transplant, her sister was a match but she was in Brazil so they needed an emergency visa so to do the transplant on time. Thanks to the collective efforts of fans and the continued exposure AEW provided for Bononi, Camila's sister would make it in time and Camila herself got her transplant and seems to be doing well.

Worst - Big Money Matt loses his quarter, but it doesn't go anywhere In the conclusion of the chapter where Matt Hardy tried to leech his way into Hangman Page's profits, Hangman had defeated Hardy in a 'Big Money' match which meant that Page had won all of Hardy's money over the last quarter. This opened an avenue to see what Big Money Matt could be like with No Money, but it amounted to very little. In fact the worst we got from Matt was eating olives, a missed opportunity for sure, we could've even had Matt be hounded by loan sharks and debt collectors but alas, it didn't dent his money in the end, at the very least Hangman got his lawnmower.

Best - Elevation elevates Mizunami, Leyla and Limelight In March, AEW debuted a more canonized version of Dark called Elevation, which'd be used to show off a bit of the undercard and allow more opportunity to climb the rankings. In the first month of Elevation, we were graced with several good matches, usually including one of three Elevation Regulars. The Eliminator Tournament Winner Ryo Mizunami would go on a series of bouts with female talent such as Tesha Price and KiLynn King where she effortlessly fit into the role of AEW's women's division gatekeeper, meaning that whoever beat her would get a solid rub - and Abadon did. When Mizunami returned to Japan, one of the people she felled took over from her duties and that was Leyla Hirsch, Hirsch had teamed successfully with Mizunami a couple of times as well and has effectively used her spot to get some wins in. On the men's side, NJPW Strong regular Danny Limelight was given his namesake with some high profile matches including Jungle Boy, Frankie Kazarian and Dark Order's 10, not to mention Takeshita, Omega, Kingston and Moxley in later months, the Team Filthy member definitely taking the show's name to heart.

Best - Cassidy wonders where his mind is Not long after Jungle Boy had obtained Baltimora, plans had been made to give Orange Cassidy a new theme too. The pick was an inspired one with The Pixies' 'Where is My Mind?' - which many would be familiar with as the ending song to Fight Club - the song suited Cassidy really well, and after positive testing on Dark it was used for the next Dynamite to close off the night.

Best - Arcade Anarchy delivers in spite of a weak feud It should probably be a word of caution to not face the Best Friends in a gimmick match in AEW, because they hit a new gear whenever they do. The feud with Miro and Kip was poor, and fans were more than happy for it to end on the PPV when Miro got his win, but AEW insisted on one more match: Arcade Anarchy - agreed to by Kip. In spite of fears this match ruled: Trent's return with Sue was great, Kris Statlander's return was a huge surprise, it took all 3 Best Friends to keep Miro down and we finished the night with Where is My Mind playing us off. Despite the weak feud, AEW had finished strongly which made reheating Miro a lot easier.

Best - Tully Blanchard wrestles in 2021 The culmination of Jurassic Express vs FTR came in the Crossroads in a 6-Man tag match. Made extra bonkers because Tully Blanchard was FTR's third man in the match. They of course limited his spots and a Shawn Spears return would prove the difference, but it's an entertainingly ridiculous thing that Tully Blanchard both wrestled in 2021 and won: wrestling is just crazy.

Best - Final 4 of Casino Tag Royale put on a Show AEW have played around with the 'Casino' concept for a few stipulations; regular battle royale for men and women, ladder match, and then tag royale. This royale finished strongly though with the final 4; John Silver, Fénix, PAC and Jungle Boy. Four absolutely over stars brawling out in mini-matches that left fans salivating for more, after Silver and PAC were eliminated Fénix and JB put on an absolute treat of a finale, which ended with Fénix getting the win for Death Triangle to face the Bucks.

Best - Silver earns Sting's respect with a Dislocated Shoulder John Silver was voted by Dark Order to take Darby Allin's open challenge for the TNT title - offered because it was the anniversary of Brodie's debut. Silver vs Allin became a great match, made even more impressive since Silver dislocated his shoulder early in the match and kept going. While Silver couldn't bring the title home to the Dark Order, he got a show of respect from Sting - which in turn would lead to the Dark Order coming to Darby and Sting's aid at times.

Best - Maki Itoh breaks America Fans of TJPW or twitter's tdegifs were very familiar with the charismatic foul-mouthed hard-headed former idol Maki Itoh, and seeing her in the Women's Eliminator tournament paid dividends despite her first round elimination. Itoh's popularity skyrocketed, she had an It factor which pissed off Jim Cornette for extra adulation, and come Revolution's Buy-In, Maki Itoh had arrived in Jacksonville for one of the biggest pops of the night. Itoh proved charming and entertaining even though she was aligned with the heels, to the point where she even main evented the inaugural Elevation against Riho. Sadly Itoh would have to return to Japan and unsuccessfully challenge for Rika Tatsumi's TJPW Princess of Princess Championship (her tag partner/former longstanding rival/sauce boss/Pink Striker Miyu Yamashita would however win), have her twitter hacked and set up a new division of her faction 'Saitama Itoh Respect Army 2021' with Yuki Kamifuku and Marika Kobashi, but she had made her mark and then some, the world was a simp for Maki Itoh, and she allowed it because she needed the monies.

Best - Rosa/Baker break the ceiling Itoh vs Riho wasn't the only cross-promotional women's main event AEW gave us, because 2 days later on St. Patrick's Day Smash, Britt Baker and Thunder Rosa's unsanctioned match would deliver on one of the highest rated matches in modern women's wrestling. A bloody and fantastic affair instantly rose Baker and Rosa's stakes in a fitting end to their rivalry, but one that also didn't cost Baker any standing because it technically 'didn't count'. It remains to this day AEW's best match in the women's division.

April 2021 Best - Miro ditches Kip After months of hanging with Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford, Miro had become fed up with Superbad. The acceptance against his wishes to fight the Arcade Anarchy proved the last straw as Miro set his focus on capturing any and every title within his reach, with or without Kip. After a few weeks of not seeing Sabian, Miro attacked him, writing Sabian out of action with a legitimate wrist injury while Ford was dealing with an allergic reaction to her eyelashes, with Kip gone Miro could finally be who we were waiting for: at freaking last.

Worst - Interference finishes beget questions of Faction Bloat Although not as bad as WWE, many matches on AEW seemed to end one way or another with factions fighting one another, clean finish or not. This did of course grind on fans and cause questions to arise that perhaps there are too many factions in AEW, they have a point, though easily fixable without splitting any factions up.

Best - Bucks descend to heeldom Don Callis had been a thorn in the Bucks' side for a while, but his words had got in their head, they were indeed the most successful when they were cocky assholes. Although they did save Moxley from being swarmed one time, the six-man tag proved too much for them: they didn't want to see the feral Moxley take out their old and storied friend and so they chose Kenny over morality. No longer annoyed by Callis, the Bucks became absolute shiteating heels again, which benefits the climate of the tag division.

Best - Jade is elevated by being sought out While Jade Cargill would only sporadically appear for squashes, AEW have done well to slow burn her star power by having managers try to get her as a client. It's simple storytelling but effective, because people want Jade it means that Jade is desirable and that makes her more important as a talent.

Best - Baker DeManDs her title shot Because the Unsanctioned Match 'didn't count' Britt Baker had carried the acclaim of that match even in defeat. Baker had stopped dossing around too, legitimately rising up the ranks to the Number 1 spot like a looming shadow to have her crack at Shida's title. It could've been easy to give her a shot by virtue of her performance but AEW did it right - and gave Tay Conti her shot in the process - which made Baker much more valued in her title hunt.

Best - Cage upsets the Hangman At the Number 1 Spot, Hangman Page looked like he was on course to fight Kenny Omega, but when asked about this prospect Page dodged the subject entirely. The thought though would weigh on his mind in his match against Cage, where he was practically squashed in an upset fashion, it was a surprising plot twist and delays Page's clash with Kenny while also adds to Cage's reputation.

May 2021 Best - Varsity Blonds add some Hart The Varsity Blonds had done well considering that they started as being an undercard pair-up and grew into a talented young combo homaging Brian Pillman and Steve Austin's team of the Hollywood Blonds. But adding Nightmare Factory upstart Julia Hart just added the missing piece for the blonds, as a trio they look the part, and their rise feels earned as they put on a great showing against the Bucks.

Worst - QT loses to Cody after all that Cody's Ace Problem had transitioned to the point where QT Marshall was picked to turn on him next, collecting a small portion of the Nightmare Factory who felt that the students were secondary to Cody's ego. When it came to the exhibition Cody won by DQ, but got assaulted by the Factory, so when they had a proper match we had a choice: elevate this new faction or have their leader lose, guess which they chose? QT tapped out to the Figure Four and Cody prevailed.

Best - SCU put it on the line For several months, SCU had put a challenge on themselves that if they lost in tag competition (not singles or battle royales) they would split up. It had worked well because they were undefeated since, but being at the top of the rankings with a heel Young Bucks signalled the inevitable clash between the two teams. The question would be could the Bucks really end the team they welcomed to AEW on Day 1, their friends, the first World Tag Champions of their company, and the answer was yes. A bloodied affair of near falls and the Bucks hamming up any emotional bonds they once had led to a fantastic match that has put a tragic end to SCU.

Worst - SCU's embrace is cut short But immediately after that we cut to Mox and Eddie trashing their locker room. AEW would return to show SCU's final embrace but a 'previously on' is not as effective as seeing it when the wound is fresh, it was the end of a partnership that had spanned a decade, all the way back to Fortune, Bad Influence and then The Addiction, it deserved the time to linger.

Best - Blood and Guts! Last year it was planned that the Elite would face the Inner Circle in a WarGames-esque match called Blood and Guts. But COVID had prevented this, so we changed to Stadium Stampede. With the Inner Circle feuding with the newfly formed Pinnacle, AEW made the right call in bringing Blood and Guts back a year later to clash the two factions against one another. And it truly did live up to its names, a brutish match which cemented the Pinnacle as one of AEW's top factions.

Worst - Blood and Guts (nor Stadium Stampede II) doesn't finish the feud Big gimmick matches like these should be feud enders, but AEW wanted to put the two factions at odds again. With the threat of disbanding, the Inner Circle got a rematch for Double or Nothing for Stadium Stampede and while it wasn't bad fans did feel that the feud should've ended at Blood and Guts. In addition, Stadium Stampede wouldn't even finish their beef as they look to divide into 3 mini-feuds again.

Best - Miro crushes Darby Without Kip, Miro was a monster and he immediately went for gold. A perfect usurper for Darby Allin's TNT title reign, Miro destroyed the fearless and near-indestructible daredevil - who was protected from the squash because Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky had thrown him down some stairs last week - his look over to Sting as they both accepted that they were likely losing this match was a great moment between Miro's destructive force. And as TNT champion Miro is great, his thanking of God for various things are both charming and hilarious but he also manages to pair it with psychotic menace, long may the Best Man reign.

Worst - Cody's American Dream wins over Ogogo's valid points After submitting QT in his match, Cody's celebrations were cut off by Anthony Ogogo, the Olympic Bronze Medallist and former Boxer in QT's Factory, who KO'd Cody and covered him with the UK flag. A feud with Ogogo could've been the saving face moment for the Factory but instead Cody opted to zone in on the flag thing. Painting Ogogo as the 'Anti-American Foreign Heel' did not sit well for anyone who wasn't an uber-American 'Patriot' since the concept was heavily outdated, in addition Ogogo was making real valid points about why he disliked America: pointing out the gross flaws in the country's healthcare system and Cody would reply with how his pregnant wife and unborn daughter were black, choking up his words to garner sympathy. This all falls flat given how Ogogo is also black and never once implied that Cody was a racist. With the chance to put over the Factory with a charismatic young competitor, Cody instead decided to win without even using a finisher - because it was Memorial Day Weekend and America always wins, at this point the Factory remain pretty tainted now since Cody has beaten every member he's faced (and Dustin beat the other one). Saying things worked out on 'Focus Groups' didn't help Cody's defense as to why the feud went the way it did either, it was an outdated narrative with a result that all but screws over the Factory.

Best - The Forbidden Door opens again While none have risen the heights of KENTA's shocking arrival, the Forbidden Door did remain open for some more appearances from NJPW's personnel. Yuji Nagata made a big return to TNT to fight Moxley for the IWGP US Championship but also Ren Narita and Rocky Romero made appearances, the latter having a mini Roppongi Vice reunion with Trent. AEW had also extended the forbidden door to DDT with Konosuke Takeshita impressing on AEW's first house show and on Elevation, and recently a Joker Card appearance for Lio Rush.

Best - Shida gets recognized, and a revamped title After a year of holding the AEW Women's Championship Hikaru Shida had been the subject of criticism from neckbeards acting like she was the 'female Brock Lesnar'. Some were annoyed that Shida's title reign had lasted so long and were blind to the fact that this was clearly intended so Baker could win in front of a crowd. The Dynamite before Double or Nothing though AEW did right by recognizing Shida's work ethic and title reign and by presenting her with a new and larger Women's Championship. While people may complain that they could've unveiled this new title at the PPV I felt it was right to at least let Shida enter the PPV with this title considering how long she had held the Women's Division down. Some poor builds aside, Shida had carried the division with strong matches and worked behind the scenes as well for improving the division, as well as producing the Women's Eliminator Tournament. In this house we do not disrespect Hikaru Shida.

Best - Double or Nothing 2021 And we end on the crescendo, and what a crescendo. The full-time return of fans were graced with an excellently feel-good PPV - aside from Cody beating Ogogo - which had all the competitors perform at a high level. Starting hot, giving Jungle Boy a big unexpected win, Mark Henry debuting and topping it off with Stadium Stampede signed off a big and entertaining year for AEW and closing off with the returning crowd chanting Judas: masterful chef kiss level idea.

The aftermath of DoN while mentioned will probably not be touched on next year because damn were these posts long, but at the very least I did it for WWE and AEW as I said I would. Let's hope that both companies can rise to higher heights and avoid lower lows in the next year when we retread these ppvs again.

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lovecolibri · 2 years

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Maybe it's because i still try to have some kind of hope in this show, but the fact that they cut the eddie/lucy scene where as ak said she told him she didn't want to replace him, but maybe the 118 is just growing and that our dear kristen saying they don't know if they can keep ak make me think that maybe she won't coming back, ofc they can't say omg everyone hates her because we mad a big mistake

Yeah, when the episode ended and they had cut her scene with Eddie (add it to the list of specific moments she mentioned that never made it to screen), I started to have a tiny bit of hope. I'm not holding my breath because they may be banking on the fact that since they cut most of her stuff the GA may forget about the kiss for the most part by season 6, and that the "joking" scene in the truck would shut down the idea of BL (for now) so people online would go back to defending her as "bi-besties" with Buck. Just like the did with Tay Kay. And oh look! It's happening, exactly as predicted. So they absolutely could be working on a soft revamp for the character. 🤷🏻‍♀️

However, they do have solid evidence most especially and most recently with Tay Kay that this approach doesn't work. The GA was ambivalent mostly about her coming back in season 4 and a lot of fandom took her obviously terribly treatment of Buck to mean they wouldn't get together. (Which is why I am so baffled that people think the show "made it clear" that BL were incompatible so we shouldn't worry. Like, have you seen Tay Kay? She called him "needy" right after we learned his painful backstory and even though it never made sense for him to want her after 2x06 it certainly didn't stop them from dragging BT out for a whole fucking season. ANYWAY) But come 5a when everyone saw Buck being miserable with her and how she ignored him and his light was just so dim, people starting singing a different tune. And then she was there all the time taking up screentime and then we got Ghost Stories and the GA officially got fed up with her. I think we were ALL looking forward to a fun, lighthearted episode (which we STILL never got the whole season) and to see all that stuff get cut so we could watch the most pointless procedural show about NOT first responding? To watch her half of the investigation which ended up having NO bearing on what Lou did, or how the case turned out? It was incredibly disappointing and the GA was done. The show continuing to drag it out for the whole rest of the season didn’t help either and I doubt they’d be able to bring her back though KR making sure to show them ending amicably after Buck was was so upset sure was...a choice 🙄

But in L’s case, she started out badly and never recovered for the GA after all the push for her in the interviews instead of talking about the actual main characters, and then the kiss. And we got a break for Boston, but 5x13 was so awkward and cringey and we saw her doing things we’d normally see Buck do on a call and after 5a being so light on things actually happening for the mains, people were tired of them not getting the focus. Then we had 5x14 and the whole high-rise save debacle which even the GA noticed was a WEIRD storyline to have for someone with so many more years of experience than Buck, instead of going to Ravi who has been a delightful and loved addition to the recurring character line-up. We just got to see him and Buck working together in 5x13 and making the save through good planning, so him making the save out of luck and then worrying that he might mess up and someone could die would be a natural thing for a probie to go through and Buck helping him through it would be a very full circle moment from 1x02. We also got her insulting Chim, insulting marriage to a group of mostly married people and someone who desperately wants to be (in another call that would have flowed better with someone like Chim or Ravi around), and all her otherwise superfluous moments.

So while the cynical part of me who is trying to quash any hope so I’m not disappointed and angry when she’s not fucking gone even though she never should have existed says to brace for impact, there IS a part of me that says the numbers are loud and they have precedence for knowing how this turns out and they can’t afford to do it again. Losing 1.5 million viewers and .6 key demo over the 2 seasons KR has been mostly at the helm is still a lot even if they’re not in the danger zone (though airing up against sitcoms helps). Plus two of the most hated characters ever on the show being her creations, and having to entirely cut a whole storyline because a 2 minute scene got SUCH backlash, and everyone dragging the finale as being incredibly lackluster and overly full of emergencies instead of showing us the main character’s storylines wrapping up, especially May’s after all the focus on her not being sure what to do in May Day, and Eddie’s after his arc is one of the only things that got consistently positive reactions from fans for all of 5b, and season 5 generally being criticized for poor planning/pacing issues/mains doing nothing, it’s a LOT of bad all at once and a lot laid at the feet of the showrunner. Which Tim picked and Tim signs off on decisions from, so he’d be in the hot seat too.

I’m just going to spend this hiatus manifesting some good changes and season 2/3 vibes coming back around for season 6, and all our mains getting the focus and screentime and storylines they deserve. We saw some incredible work from Ryan, Kenny, and Aisha especially this season and I hope the overwhelmingly positive and “it’s about time” reactions will result in more for them in the coming season, and for the love of all that is holy can we please get Oliver something to do outside of having to simper after KR’s self-insert women? The man is literally begging.

#my sweet nonnie friends #911 #911 spoilers #anti lucy donato #anti taylor kelly #this got long and rambling but in my defense i have a lot of feelings #and also barely any coffee in my system #but i'm clearing out the salty asks this morning soooo brace yourselves #it's salt gremlin time

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thesportssoundoff · 7 years

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“What Happens When The Worst Case Scenario Happens?” A UFC 221 Preview

Joey

February 5th, 2018

Oooof.

You poor dudes out there in Australia. The UFC's plan to finally put on another PPV in Australia felt like a solid enough one; bring your standard Fight Night-ish card with some bigger matchups and some title fights to make it all tie together. The original concept was easy enough to understand. You give Australia Robert Whittaker in a big title main event, find yourself a second title fight and roll with it. Unfortunately as is often the case with the UFC, the best laid plans tend to lead to things falling apart. The second fight (rumored to be Thug Rose vs Tecia Torres) fell apart and Robert Whittaker wound up contracting some kind of a super duper illness which took him out of the fight. In its place we're left with an Australian showcase card without THE big Aussie title fight to be the bow to tie everything together. Shit shit shit. This card isn't anywhere near as bad as some of the other cursed PPVs of 2016 but given what it could've been, it still hurts to see what we've got. Let's try to make the best of it, eh?

Fights: 12

Debuts: 1 (Israel Adesanya)

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 1 (Robert Whittaker OUT, Yoel Romero IN vs Luke Rockhold)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 6 (Luke Rockhold, Robert Whittaker, Mark Hunt, Jake Matthews, Jussier Formiga, Ross Pearson)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Ross Pearson, Mizuto Hirota, Damien Brown)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 7 (Jose Quinoines, Curtis Blaydes, Li Jingliang, Alexander Volkanovski, Jeremy Kennedy, Dong Hyun Kim, Ben Nguyen)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC): 17-10-2 Yoel Romero- 1-1 Luke Rockhold- 1-1 Mark Hunt- 2-1-1 Curtis Blaydes- 3-1-1 Tai Tuivasa- 1-0 Cyril Asker- 2-2 Jake Matthews- 2-2 Li Jingliang- 4-0 Tyson Pedro- 2-1 Saparbek Safarov- 0-1

Too High Up- Tai Tuivasa vs Cyril Asker

Come on, man. Come on now. Tai Tuivasa vs Cyril Asker is not a main card fight EVEN on free TV. Cyril Asker has never fought off of Fight Pass and NOW he's on PPV? NOW?! Come on. I get the argument here that Tai Tuivasa at 24 years old has all sort of upside and potential in the UFC's HW division that is starting to get itself a new collection of young big guys. This is a showcase fight----but you shouldn't make people pay 60 bucks for a friggin showcase fight especially when it's got a decent shot of falling apart on ya. Tuivasa vs a better opponent? Sure! Against Cyril Asker?! Nah, man.

Too Low- Jussier Formiga vs Ben Nguyen

Plenty of people will make the argument here for me but yeah, I get it. People don't like flyweights and they're not sold on the division and they hate the champ and etc etc etc. The point is that if you're being honest about divisional relevance and title fight qualifications, this fight is probably far closer to being something of note than any other fight on the main card besides the top two fights. Nguyen was swamped by Louis Smolka but outside of that performance he's been all action and basically all finish in the UFC. Jussier Formiga is a fine step up and an important challenger who tests whether or not somebody is truly ready for the next step up in their careers. Even if it makes some people get all butt hurt, you have to commit to giving the 125ers a chance on bigger shows.

Stat Monitor for 2018:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 0-4): Israel Adesanya

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 1-2): Yoel Romero

Second Fight (Current number: 2-6): Daichi Abe, Saparbek Safarov, Tai Tuivasa, Rob Wilkinson

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 4-4): Saparbek Safarov

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 2-6): Israel Adesanya, Tai Tuivasa, Daichi Abe

Twelve Precious Ponderings

1- So given that this fight came about on short notice, how many rounds does the ageless wonder that IS Yoel Romero have in him? 2? 2-3 tops?

2- The most obvious question for me is how will Rockhold handle the athleticism that Romero possesses if it forces him to go backwards? For Rockhold the plan (to me at least) seems obvious; drag Yoel into deep and (Pirates of) dark waters after the 2nd or 3rd round, get him tired and get him down. In theory if he flattens out Romero, he can presumably pound out a tired Romero with torrential ground and pound. Getting there is the problem as Rockhold did not look overly comfortable exchanging on the feet with David Branch who is not exactly the world's best striker. Romero's quick twitch explosive offense is going to be on point in the first and second round while Rockhold's entire path to victory in my estimation is dependent upon his ability to turn those first few rounds into a slow grind en route to an eventual finish. Rockhold hasn't been the same springy athlete he was during his Strikeforce days but he's a hell of a lot stronger than he used to be and his size can drain on folks when he gets clinch happy. At the same time, Romero in the third round has proven to be a pretty damn scary fighter.

3- Do we pencil in the winner of Rockhold/Romero vs Whittaker for sometime in the summer? Robert Whittaker has suggested he expects to be healthy around then and if they cancel UFC 222 as a PPV (a possibility) then maybe the UFC goes back to Australia to try and make up for the lost PPV of March in the Summertime.

4- A lot has been made of the UFC/Mark Hunt relationship and I get it. In all fairness, they gave him a pretty tough match up here. If Curtis Blaydes can replicate what Stipe Miocic did, he's got a good chance to spoil this Aussie partay with Mark Hunt at the helm. Outside of Stipe, Hunt's takedown defense has held up pretty well but he can still be stalled and neutralized against the cage.

5- There's been a better version of Curtis Blaydes each time he takes to the cage even if his striking still remains at times too wild for its own good and his submission game doesn't seem to be developing much. Even if his confidence comes and goes, Blaydes will likely be his best yet vs Mark Hunt. Whether that's good enough to beat Hunt remains the question.

6- You can almost view the final three fights on the main card as the usual progression of Australian prospects:

Tai Tuivasa- "Oh man we've got a new guy! He's Australian and he looks good! Did you see how he finished that last fight?!"

Tyson Pedro- "Okay so he lost but there's no reason to give up on him just yet. Let's give him a wee bit of a step back and see if he can handle that. If he wins then we're back on course!"

Jake Matthews- "Well we're stuck with him so we might as well figure out what to do with him."

7- That Li Jingliang vs Jake Matthews match is pretty damn interesting if we're being honest for a second or two. He's got four straight wins, three by finish, against relatively okay competition. The likes of Zak Ottow and Frank Camacho have proven their worth as exciting middle of the pack type guys so we at least know he can beat average. While I don't know if Jake Matthews is better than average, I do know that stylistically he'll present a few challenges for The Leech. For starters, Li Jingliang's main slip up came against Keita Nakamura. Matthews and Nakamura do share some similarities; primarily in the way that both are heavy grappling types who seem to excel in those gas out fights where everybody is tired. Nakamura is the more seasoned grappler and better at subs (ask The Leech) but Matthews tends to be more active with top control. It's one of those ugly stylistic challenges that Li Jingliang will have to get by if he wants to be able to have a justifiable case at a top 10 spot in the WW division.

8-Who thinks it's a good idea for Teruto Ishihara to drop down to 135 lbs? That seems really reckless?

9- Alexander Volkanovski vs Jeremy Kennedy is one of those fights that's really hard to get excited about even if you acknowledge that it's a pretty fine fight on paper. Both guys are so similar that this has "Stall against the fence" stamped on it. It's a great fight between two unbeaten prospects at 145 lbs BUT it's just tough to muster up any real excitement given what it presents to be on paper.

10- I'm at that weird spot with Ross Pearson where I don't want to see him take any damage and leave the way he's left before but I also don't want to see him to win and potential incur more damage down the road. All of Ross Pearson's fights recently (since the Felder win at least), FEEL the same. The spirit is still willing and he has flashes of moments where he's in control but he just no longer has the athletic quicks and he doesn't respond to strikes the way you feel like he should. He's in that weird Gray Maynard class where the fighter he once was is gone but the fighter he remains is competitive enough to the point where he's always going to believe he's one win away from rediscovering it.

11- Can Israel Adesanya do what Gokhan Saki did and put a jolt in the UFC?

12- Someone sell me on Daichi Abe, por favor.

Must Win

1- Curtis Blaydes

As long as Mark Hunt is suing the UFC, he's probably got a job. Just one of those weird "nature of the biz" type deals. Since November we've seen plenty of prospects get pushed to the back of line by virtue of disappointing losses (Albini to Arlovski, Golm to Johnson, Sherman to Abdurahimov and I suppose if one tried hard enough, Ngannou to Miocic). That leaves Curtis Blaydes as one of the few left standing who has some steam behind him. Blaydes HAS the ability to be a top 10 HW, of that I have no doubt. Because it's the big dude division, he's taking an absurd jump up from Olenik to Mark Hunt in Australia. Good luck, dude.

2- Ben Nguyen

Let's briefly recap some Jussier Formiga stats:

Lost to Dodson- Dodson got a title shot. Lost to Benavidez- Immediate title shot for Jobi Wan. Lost to Cejudo- Cejudo gets a title shot Lost to Ray Borg- Borg gets a title shot.

Beating Formiga is the gateway to title town (or a gateway to getting smoked by Mighty Mouse) and so if Nguyen wants to be join Mark Hunt and Robert Whittaker as proud adopted Aussies fighting for the title, he's gotta pick up the win here.

3- Li Jingliang

I could go for Jake Matthews here as well. With the UFC making significant progress in China, Li Jingliang should in theory be on the come up. He's the best fighter out of China currently and fights in a division where if you haven't fought one of the top 5 guys yet, there's substantial progress to be made.

Five Can't Miss Fights

1- Yoel Romero vs Luke Rockhold

2- Teruto Ishihara vs Jose Quinones

3- Rob Wilkinson vs Israel Adesanyna

4- Dong Hyun Kim vs Damien Brown

5- Ben Nguyen vs Jussier Formiga

#MMA #UFC #UFC 221 #Romero #Rockhold #Hunt #Blaydes

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Manga the Week of 10/28/20

SEAN: BOO!

Cross Infinite World gives us the 2nd volume of Another World’s Zombie Apocalypse Is Not My Problem!, which surprises me, as I thought it was a standalone.

Dark Horse has the 6th volume of Mob Psycho 100.

ASH: While I’m not quite as taken with the series as I was in the beginning, I’ve still been enjoying it.

SEAN: There’s a triple dose of not-quite-porn from Ghost Ship, who have Destiny Lovers 4, Parallel Paradise 3, and To-Love-Ru Darkness 17.

J-Novel Club debuts a new manga, Campfire Cooking in Another World, based on the light novel of the same name.

They also have Can Someone Please Explain What’s Going On? 4, Der Werwolf 9, When the Clock Strikes Z 2 (a final volume, I think), and The White Cat’s Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King’s Lap 3.

ASH: I haven’t actually read that last one, but that series title is great.

SEAN: Kodansha is still making up for lost time, so get ready. Print Debut #1: Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie (Kawaii Dake Janai Shikimori-san) is a Magazine Pocket series that seems to be part of the “girl teases the guy she likes” genre, though in this case they’re already dating.

Print Debut #2: The Witch and the Beast (Majo to Yajuu), an action-adventure series from Young Magazine the 3rd that seems to run on being really cool.

MICHELLE: It really does look very cool.

MELINDA: I like cool.

SEAN: Also in print: Cells at Work: Code BLACK 6, Fairy Tail: 100 Years Quest 5, The Heroic Legend of Arslan 13, If I Could Reach You 5, Kiss Me at the Stroke of Midnight 11, Love and Lies 9, Sue & Tai-chan 2, and UQ Holder 20.

ASH: I’m not actively reading too many of these, but I am really glad to see the print titles picking up again.

SEAN: Two digital debuts. The first is another Shaman King spinoff, Shaman King: Red Crimson. This one started AFTER the artist moved to Kodansha, so ran in Shonen Magazine Edge. It’ll run 4 volumes.

The other is When We’re in Love (Hana-kun to Koisuru Watashi), a Betsufure series featuring a model student and a delinquent. Sure, throw another shoujo on the pile.

Also coming out digitally: Abe-kun’s Got Me Now! 5, Atsumori-kun’s Bride to Be 5, Cells at Work: Platelets 2, Kounodori: Dr. Stork 17, the 7th and final volume of Love Massage: Melting Beauty Treatment (I assume she has now melted and man and puddle can live together as one), Maid in Honey 2, My Best () Butler 2, Orient 7, and Shaman King: Flowers 2.

MICHELLE: I couldn’t even make it one volume through Abe-kun. I am, though, happy for more of Atsumori-kun’s Bride-to-Be!

SEAN: Oh yes, and 12 more Drops of God volumes hit digitally, 22 to 33.

One Peace has a new debut: Farming Life in Another World (Isekai Nonbiri Nouka). This series from Fujimi Shobo’s Dragon Age is… exactly what it sounds like, but there’s more sex than you’d expect.

ASH: Huh. The farming aspect vaguely interests me, but…

SEAN: Seven Seas has two light novel debuts, one print and one digital-first. The print is ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword!, which I reviewed when the digital version came out. It had a lot more horror than I was expecting, but should also satisfy yuri fans.

The digital first is Berserk of Gluttony (Boushoku no Berserk), a dark-sounding light novel about a man who’s lived his life always hungry finding out that he can feed on BLOOD AND SOULS! Not Elric of Melnibone, I’m sure, but close.

Also out from Seven Seas: Buck Naked in Another World 2 (mercifully the final volume), Classroom of the Elite 7 (early digital), Dance in the Vampire Bund: Age of Scarlet Order 3, The Girl from the Other Side 9, Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear novel 3, Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka 9, Mushoku Tensei 7 (novel), Nicola Traveling Around the Demon’s World 3, and Pandora in the Crimson Shell: Ghost Urn 13.

ANNA: I’m ashamed at how far behind I am with The Girl from the Other Side but I fully intend to get caught up.

MICHELLE: I think I have read through volume seven, but I also have a little catching up to do.

ASH: The Girl from the Other Side is still one of my top series; Nicola Traveling Around the Demon’s World is really wonderful, too.

SEAN: Square Enix has NieR:Automata – YoRHa Boys, a novel based on… well, take a guess.

They’ve also got Hi Score Girl 4.

Tentai Books says they’re releasing the 2nd volume of There’s No Way a Side Character Like Me Could Be Popular, Right?.

Vertical has the 3rd volume of Owarimonogatari: End Tale, which wraps up the Monogatari series… OR DOES IT?

Yen On gives us four more light novels to round out the month. There’s I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years 8, Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Familia Chronicle 2: Episode Freya, KonoSuba 12, and Strike the Blood 16.

Yen has two manga debuts. Heterogenia Linguistico is a Young Ace Up series that looks like it does for monster research what Delicious in Dungeon does for monster food.

MICHELLE: The covers have a similar aesthetic, too.

ASH: I am intrigued.

SEAN: Star Wars: Leia, Princess of Alderaan is a LINE manga title based on some obscure movie, and deals with Leia’s teenage adventures.

ANNA: I’m a little curious about this.

SEAN: Yen also gives is Happy Sugar Life 6, I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years 3 (manga), Kemono Friends a La Carte 4 (final volume), Our Last Crusade 3 (manga), and Restaurant to Another World 2 (manga).

Are you scared?

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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sejinpk · 8 years

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So for that top 5 ask meme thing... How about top 5 live action films?

Thanks for the ask! I don’t often talk about live-action movies, so I’m glad you asked this! ^_^ There are only four entries because there are really only four live-action movies that I feel like I can confidently say are truly favorites.

1. American Psycho

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American Psycho is the first (maybe the only?) satire where I feel like I’m actually able to see/get the satire for myself, though, admittedly, this was only after the commentary initially told me as much. >.

This clip highlights what I’m talking about regarding multiple levels, specifically the part starting right around the 1:15 mark (note: the clip is VERY NSFW!!!!).

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On the one hand, it’s a horrifying scene in which a crazed Christian Bale is chasing a prostitute through his apartment building with a chainsaw. She bangs on other residents’ doors and screams loudly, but nobody comes to help her, or even to see what’s going on. And eventually Bale kills her with the chainsaw, just as you think she might have been able to get away. It’s heartbreaking.

But on the other hand, right at that 1:15 mark, you see Christian Bale sort of *giggle* trot into view covered in blood and wearing nothing but *snort* socks and tennis shoes, carrying a *kheheheeheaahhhaahahahahaaa* chainsaw in front of him like a *full-blown laughter and cackling* demented phallic symbol, running buck naked through his apartment complex, and he somehow has perfect aim to be able to drop the chainsaw down the middle of what looks like three or four stories of spiral stairs so that it actually hits the woman he’s chasing. The absurdity of the scene is absolutely hilarious.

I love Christian Bale’s acting as Patrick Bateman. I also really like Willem Dafoe’s performance. In fact, I like most of the performances in the movie. Regarding Bale in particular–and this is something said by the movie’s director in interviews–he really understood the dorkiness and the pathetic nature of Bateman. I think thefirst video clip above highlights some of this (random interesting fact: apparently Christian Bale can sweat on cue, as he broke out in a sweat at the exact same time in every take of that scene), as does this clip of Bateman’s music monologues, which are hilarious (I wanted to include the video in this post, but Tumblr apparently has a 5-video-per-post limit, so this is the one that got cut).

The movie is legitimately funny, both because of Bale’s portrayal of Bateman, and because of the satire. I think it does a really good job of getting you to laugh at him, rather than with him (in this case, that’s the intended effect). The movie also handles its tone very well, which was super-important for creating the effect the filmmakers wanted.

I also think the movie’s themes and social commentary are interesting and still relevant today, even though the story is set in the 80′s, the movie was released in 2000, and the book the movie is adapted from was published in 1991. It’s only been on the last one or two re-watches (I’ve watched the movie several times) that I’ve started to understand how the movie uses physical violence and the horror elements as a metaphor for class- and economic-based systemic violence.

2. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

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I also really like Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which this movie is a sequel to, but I like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes a little more. The key thing I love about these movies (and especially Dawn) is the humanity they give both the human and ape characters, which is what makes the drama and action so compelling. Both sides of the conflict, humans and apes, are given so much depth and nuance. Their conflict isn’t black and white, and you’re able to understand, and empathize and sympathize with, both sides equally strongly.

I think the character work in the movie is incredible. Practically all the characters we get any kind of time with are developed–we can see how they think, what motivates them, what their priorities are, even if they’re given very little screentime. One of my absolute favorite emotional scenes in the movie is when Dreyfus, Gary Oldman’s character, turns on his phone after the humans get power back, and as he’s looking through old pictures of his family, who have died, he just completely breaks down. It’s such a moving, heartbreaking scene.

Also, Andy Serkis + motion capture = Dawn is a poster child for this.

3. Tai Chi Master

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So far, there have only been two works of fiction that have had a significant influence/impact on my life in some way. One is the Monogatari Series. Tai Chi Master (called Twin Warriors in the U.S.; original Chinese title 太極張三豐(Tàijí Zhāng Sānfēngin Mandarin)) is the other. This movie is what got me interested in learning tai chi, which eventually led to my broader interest in health, which in turn led me to where I am today, in school studying to become a Registered Dietitian.

It’s the story of the supposed legendary founder of tai chi, Zhang Sanfeng (played by Jet Li), though I don’t know how closely it adheres to the actual legend. I find the movie generally enjoyable, but the main reason it’s on this list is because of the impact it had on my life.

This sequence in particular, in which Jet Li’s character is figuring things out, testing ideas, and going through the initial process of creating tai chi, is what enamored me so much and got me interested in learning it (of course, the tai chi in the movie is stylized and exaggerated to varying degrees):

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On a somewhat related note, I’ve heard of a movie called Pushing Hands (the name of an essential practice for developing sensitivity in internal martial arts), which has at least a tangential connection to tai chi (but sounds interesting even if the connection is really weak), but I have yet to get around to seeing if I can find it to watch.

4. How the Earth Changed History

(I wasn’t overly fond of any of the video clips I found, so that’s why there’s not one here.)

How the Earth Changed History, originally called How Earth Made Us in Britain (it’s a BBC production), narrated/presented by geologist Iain Stewart, is easily my favorite documentary. It’s about how planetary forces have shaped human history. It’s broken up into five parts. The first four parts each focus on a planetary force: water, the deep earth, wind, and fire. The fifth part focuses on how humans have influenced/affected the planet.

One thing I really like about this documentary is that it’s entertaining. In addition to just making the narration interesting, Stewart goes the extra mile to take the viewer into some really neat places, such as inside holes and tunnels dug to get at groundwater; a crystal cavern (a giant chamber that was initially sealed and filled with water, in which enormous crystals grew); on a catamaran in the ocean; the middle of the Sahara desert; various archaeological and historical sites; through a literal fire; etc.

I also found the information itself really interesting. Here are a few of what I thought were the highlights:

In the wind/air segment, he talks about how the Sahara desert (which is formed and maintained by large-scale wind patterns) acts as a natural barrier, which, in the past, inhibited trade between civilizations on different sides of it. As a result, a town/city (I don’t remember the name) in a key mid-desert location became an important trade hub. Centuries later, Christopher Columbus discovered the trade winds (more large-scale wind patterns), which ultimately led to a new trade route/cycle that bypassed the mid-desert city. Thus, the wind was influential in both the city’s rise and fall.

In the deep earth segment, he talks about the relationship humans have with fault lines: they enable us to more easily get at the various minerals that arise from within the earth, such as copper, but they’re inherently dangerous (earthquakes). Humans now have the ability to shield our buildings from the impact of earthquakes; it’s all a matter of choosing to do so.

The “Human Planet” segment is where I learned about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. He also talks about an Indonesian mud volcano, which is still erupting. In the documentary, Stewart says it was caused by human activities (drilling), but it sounds like there’s still debate about that, with some scientists supporting drilling as the cause, and others saying it was caused by an earthquake. Either way, the documentary shows that the incessant mud bubbling up from inside the earth literally buried the nearby town, and that was six to seven years ago (the documentary was released in 2010, and the mud volcano began erupting near the end of May, 2006). I can’t imagine how much worse it’s gotten.

In addition to what I’ve said about the documentary, I came across a very well-written review on Amazon that does an excellent job of describing the content and discussing why I find it so interesting.

I don’t normally like to do this, but I really want more people to watch this documentary (honestly, though, it’s only like $10 - $15 new on Amazon), so here are links to each segment on YouTube:

Water

Deep Earth

Wind

Fire

Human Planet

Again, thanks for sending me this ask! I really enjoyed making this post! ^_^ If there’s anything you want to respond to, please feel free to do so! :D

#b1689q #American Psycho #Dawn of the Planet of the Apes #Tai Chi Master #How the Earth Changed History #SejinPK answers

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boozedancing · 6 years

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G-LO: Yo, Limpd! It’s about time we made it up to Boardroom Spirits for a visit. I guess it takes a distillery and tasting room expansion celebration for us to make it out to Lansdale.

LimpD: That and for the stars to align so that we’re both free from our work and post-work responsibilities. Fortunately, my sports chauffeuring and your Way-Off-Broadway support duties took a back seat so that we could get into our Uber driver’s back seat and head to Lansdale.

G-LO: The stars most definitely aligned this time around. And speaking of Lansdale, it’s amazing how close it is (28 to 33 miles from Center City Philadelphia depending upon which route you take) and how much time it actually takes to get there from Center City (anywhere from 1 hour to 90 minutes, again, depending upon the route). Thanks to the Uber hook-up and not having to drive ourselves, it was a pretty easy trip to and fro. And definitely well worth the effort! They pulled together a very nice and low key event. where we could mix and mingle with the attendees while our bartenders took care of all the cocktail mixing. This was my kind of night.

LimpD: FYI, the train is only a few block away, so for our next trip out, I’d be interested in seeing if the train is quicker than dealing with the Schuylkill Expressway. But, yes, the Uber hook-up certainly came in handy. After our roundabout route through Northwest Philly and the tree-lined streets of the suburbs, I wasn’t expecting the exterior of the distillery to seem so industrial. At first, it seemed a bit like we were being driven to a secluded area for a Scorcese-esque ending. But, the expansion into the new bar area was really well-done, and I can’t wait for them to finish the patio and herb garden.

G-LO: Yeah, I was feeling a bit like Karen Hill in this scene from Goodfellas when we first pulled in to the parking lot…

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I was quite relieved when we spotted the Food Shelter crew at the bar once we found the right door. Bars are most definitely my happy place. And bars with a big punch bowl filled with ready-made cocktails within arm’s reach make me even happier.

They really did a nice job of turning an industrial space into a warm and welcoming one. You wouldn’t think that drinking in a room with a polished concrete floor and a bottling line off in the distance would make for a cozy spot to have a few cocktails, but it really was. This is further proof that the craft distilling and craft beer movement is something that should be encouraged at every turn. The Boardroom Spirits tasting room is yet another fine example of urban renewal done right. As I’ve discovered during my brew and booze tours in Philly, Torrance, the Hudson Valley, Madison, and Maine, one person’s abandoned building / factory / warehouse / automotive garage / former metal foundry is another person’s future distillery and/or brewery. And another great thing about this type of urban renewal is that once the beverage makers start opening up, the restaurants and new residential living spaces are sure to follow, as evidenced by the new condos that were being built across the way from Boardroom Spirits.

Going back to the event, while the Cran You Feel the Beet Punch (made with their FRESH Cranberry Vodka, apple cider, and B Beet specialty spirit) that you chose as your first drink was a deliciously autumnal beverage, the Boardroom Old Fashioned (made with MGP sourced Northbound Rye, bourbon syrup, and aromatic bitters) was more my speed and a fine way to start off the festivities. Something about whiskey and bitters really gets my appetite going. Then again, what doesn’t get my appetite going? There’s a word for guys like me in Italian (and by Italian, I of course mean the butchered Italian-American version of Italian that was spoken in the old neighborhood before everyone moved to Washington Township): GAVONE!

LimpD: Love the idea of the punch of the day; every day a new punch made with Boardroom Spirits and locally sourced, and/or house made, ingredients. I think James Cleland, their tasting room manager, might be onto something! And, while the Cran You Feel the Beet was a pleasant Autumnal punch, the off-menu Executive Punch (spiced rum, red wine simple syrup, and aromatic bitters) was fantastic! I also tried the Made in the USA Mai Tai (Boardroom’s rum, spiced rum and triple sec with orgeat and lime) which was a really nice take on an island drink. Didn’t you order an off-menu drink as well?

G-LO: I did indeed! The Knee Buckler was its name. James said it was a mash-up of the classic Bee’s Knees cocktail (Northbound Rye, FRESH Ginger, lime and honey) and another cocktail whose name I can’t recall (they do say that alcohol consumption can have an effect on memory. I guess they’re right!). What I can recall is that it was quite deelish, especially that lightly spiced honey note that comes through in the finish. It was the kind of drink that keeps you going back for more.

James was good fun to talk to, and it was very nice of him to spend so much time with us. For a guy that looks so young (was he even 25?), he certainly had a wealth of booze and cocktail knowledge (he can talk the talk AND mix the drink!). Cocktail history and cocktail creation are obviously two of his favorite enthusiasms…

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I’d say Boardroom picked the right guy to manage their tasting room operations thanks to his keep it fresh, keep it local, and most important of all, keep it fun philosophy.

Your other two drink selections were quite good. The Mai Tai was yummy, but like you said, the Executive Punch was fantastic! Maybe it’s the name? I certainly felt important while taking a sip. You know, like an Executive, as opposed to my usual G-LO Cocktail of feelings which consists of two parts regret, one part sarcasm, a splash of self-loathing, and garnished with a wedge of unripe persimmon.

With all this drinking going on, it’s a good thing they had some snacks on hand to soak up some of the alcohol. As is usually the case at events like these, all of my attention was focused on the drinks, so I can’t recall all of the details as to what we ate. There was something made with pulled pork, something else made with grilled grapes, cheesesteak eggrolls, mini crab cakes, a massive fruit and cheese station, and several other nibbles.

LimpD: I thought the G-LO Cocktail had much more than just a splash of self-loathing, and I can only imagine how bitter it will become as it ages!

As far as The Knee Buckler goes, it was a mixture of two old-timey cocktails; the aforementioned Bee’s Knees (gin, honey and lemon) and the Kentucky Buck (bourbon, ginger and strawberry/lemon juice). James really likes to take Pre-Prohibition cocktails and put the Boardroom spin on them.

The little bites were very pretty and very tasty. I especially liked that the pulled pork, grilled grape & brie and the bacon and apple bites (how did you forget the bacon!) were all on flat bread. This added a bit of texture and made them a little easier to pick up. Also, the macarons (especially the lemon and the pumpkin) from the Mixie Chics were fantastic! After a round or two of grub and a cocktail or three, I was ready for the tour. What did you think of the Hungarian backstory and the shiny new production facility?

G-LO: Bitter to the Nth degree is the only way to describe the G-LO Cocktail, i.e. highly unbalanced and you’ll lose your appetite for days. Maybe we can market it as some sort of extreme weight loss product? I know I can stand to drop a couple dozen pounds. Anyway…

I like the phrase “old-timey”. I expect my doctor to use those words during my next physical when he’s describing the state of my organ functions, as well as my aching joints and bones. Seriously though, that was a superb cocktail mash-up. When are we going back for another round of drinks? And how the hell did I forget the bacon??? Sucks getting old! And YES!; the macarons were delightful (the lemon and pumpkin were real standouts), as were the four women that made them. Love how the Mixie Chics back-story parallels the Booze Dancing back-story, i.e. next door neighbors who bake together decided to launch a dessert catering business, while next door neighbors who drink together decided to start a booze blog. The big difference is that they started something which will earn them some scratch, while we started something that will quicken our eventual demise and earn us no scratch. At least there’s no clean-up or Board of Health inspections involved with our little venture!

With regards to the tour, Marat Mamedov (one of the distillery owners) did a really nice job of explaining their distilling process and how the new equipment will allow them to increase output as well as expand their product range. The Hungarian bit of the story was pretty funny. Sounds a bit like the Wild West with regards to distilling in Hungary with anyone and everyone being allowed to own a still. Can you imagine how many micro-distilleries there would be in the US if you didn’t need a license and ATF clearance to own and operate a still? Then again, it’s probably better that is the way it is here. It’s bad enough that every loon with a couple hundred bucks can buy a firearm. Safety first, My Friend! Safety. FIRST.

While it was great to see the new stills and the barrel room, the really fun part was getting to try their soon to be released Single Malt Whisky. Since your memory seems to be working much better than mine these days, I’ll let you talk about the details.

LimpD: Would the G-LO Cocktail work like a cleanse? In this day and age it sounds totally marketable. And while we aren’t actually making a consumable product, are you sure the Board of Health (or some other county agency) shouldn’t be providing some sort of inspection for some of us?

While I was aware of some of the science surrounding the making of spirits, I didn’t realize that the legal restrictions are so different from state to state, i.e. a licensed distillery can produce 100,000 gallons of spirit in Pennsylvania vs. just 20,000 gallons in New Jersey. That’s a huge difference! I also wasn’t aware of the restrictions on alcohol R&D in the US. How does one get a business up and running without a sufficient amount of trial & error and experimentation? Good thing Marat’s wife is Hungarian, otherwise, Boardroom Spirits may have never gotten off the ground. I was intrigued by Marat’s description of the distillation process. The process is so clean and so refined that there is no need for additives (especially sugar).

I like how they started laying down barrels almost from day one. And, having us hang back in the barrel room for an exclusive tasting was a real treat. Over the years, we’ve had a chance to try some very young whiskies. I’ve found a number to be quite good, but I’m always left wondering what these young whiskies might become after spending more time in the barrel.

When offered the chance to try the Boardroom’s Single Malt at under 3 years, I expected to arrive at a similar conclusion. This whisky, at an ABV of 54.8% and aged initially in new white oak barrels and then finished for 7 or 8 months in limousine oak barrels, had quite a different taste. While there was a great deal of sweetness and spice upfront, and a nice smooth flavor on the backend, the limousine oak created a beautiful flavor mid-palate (so much vanilla!). I have to admit that I was blown away by how much depth of flavor there was in this whisky. It makes me wish we had been involved in the Kickstarter campaign as this whiskey will only be available to a select few as a thank you from Boardroom for their generous support. What did you think of the Single Malt?

G-LO: See? I knew you’d remember all those details. Bravo, Sir!

As far as the Boardroom Single Malt goes, I too was impressed with the complexity and deep flavors given its youth. Another thing that impressed me was how easy it was to drink without adding any water. I would never have guessed that this was a 54.8% ABV whisky. As I told Marat in the barrel room, it reminded me of a Glenmorangie 18 or Signet thanks to the sweetness and light spice that there was from start to finish. I had no problem going back for a second taste and would have welcomed a third taste too. All I can say is that if that’s what their first batch of whisky tastes like, I can’t wait to taste their future releases. We’ll definitely have to take advantage of Marat’s offer to have us come back for another tasting.

So to sum up, we sampled several delicious cocktails, ate a wide variety of savory snacks, scarfed down some yummy macarons whilst chatting with their makers, had a lengthy chat with the tasting room manager, and sampled a very exclusive Single Malt Whisky while getting schooled on the science and art of distilling by one of the owners. I’d say that this was a highly productive and delicious way to spend a Thursday night. Well worth the trip to Lansdale!

Any final thoughts to wrap up this post?

LimpD: Final thoughts? Well, I think we need to get out to Lansdale more often. And, now that Boardroom has partnered with the folks behind the Butcher and Barkeep to open their Northbound restaurant in Souderton, we might need to make a trip to Souderton as well.

G-LO: I like that you’re getting ambitious in your old age. All I can say to that is (in my best Dirty Harry voice), “Go ahead, twist my arm…”.

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Many thanks to the fine folks at Boardroom Spirits and Food-Shelter PR for the invite to this fun-filled event!

We Visit the Newly Expanded #BoardroomSpirits Distillery + Tasting Room in @lansdalepa. @FoodShelterPR G-LO: Yo, Limpd! It's about time we made it up to Boardroom Spirits for a visit.

#Boardroom Spirits #Cocktails #Distillery Tour #Drinkwire #Events #French Macarons #Photography #Review #Reviews #Whiskey #Whisky

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