#<- until further notice thats what im tagging them as

[tfg-16-art]

Thought this would be funny but I've been looking at it for too long now

(stuff under the cut is just individual/transparent background versions)

[vaayusjournal]

27th of jahal, 6242

we decided to track down tiegan and headed to dalbore yesterday. i decided to tag along even though we found my rock cause they seemed like a fun bunch. i... kind of regret it a little i think? it was not as fun as i thought it would be and... i forgot how ruthless the world could be. i genuinely like some of these people, and i have nothing against doing a little bit of property damage or stealing or even fighting people but

we found tiegan. she was holed up in a warehouse and was dying. there was another body there of someone who had been pretty badly damaged by some sort of acid but the dide was dead. and missing fingers. and ribs. that wasn’t the part that bothered me though. i think. it was not pretty, but not much we could do for them.

i wasn’t supposed to be in the warehouse and i wish i hadn’t been in there at all. i was out with the horses, i wandered in just as they started questioning tiegan and lightwalker healed her a little so that she could answer their questions. she said that “one of the only ways the the three fingers can get our lives back is if we smuggle magical goods to the fey road in skipsieve,” and also said that the people with three fingers were part of this club thing called the three fingers. she also said that she was supposed to get the stuff to a boat and the boat was supposed to leave tonight but she and jarrik (the dead dude) were jumped by people she didn’t know.

none of them knew i was there so i was definitely not supposed to see this next part but also i don’t think anyone other than me saw it

faster than i could blink triennan grabbed his dagger and stabbed her

in cold blood

according to the others it was ok to murder her cause we shouldn’t leave loose ends and she was suffering and the three fingers are actually a dangerous cult, but im

idk

we kept moving though and we headed towards this town called henway. there was this really weird unnatural darkness all around us? like i could still see through it cause i have darkvision, but it felt like night time. in the middle of the day. it was wack. we kept moving until lightwalker noticed a lamp in the distance. we came upon a small hamlet, but the horses didn’t want to go any further so we went the rest of the way on foot. now, im not in the practice of calling people i barely know creepy (ok fine i do call people creepy a lot. but only if they deserve it!) but the lady who was by the well was suuuuuper creepy and 100% deserved it. guik went to her and asked her if she lived here, she was like “i did once.” like?? what the heck does that mean?? she doesn’t live here anymore?? is she dead?? then she’s all like “oh thats my house right there” (i thought she didn’t live here??) “i need water. can you help me get water?” so guik gets her water and she’s like “now bring this to steven?” who the heck is steven

she pointed to a house up north so we agreed to take it there and ended up finding steven in the house. he told guik that the old lady’s name is ellen but he seemed really confused by us (honestly i would be too if a random person came into my house with a bucket of water saying that an old lady who used to live here told them to give me water. like what the heck??). but anyway, we were waiting outside listening to guik talk to this dude when all of a sudden guik starts choking. we run inside the house and it turns out that steven is actually a shade and there’s also a robed figure there who was controlling the shade i think? so now we have to fight him.

it was an interesting fight i guess. triennan’s daggers apparently have a slight black energy coming off of it. makes sense that he’s cursed, seeing how he’s so willing to kill people in cold blood willy nilly. we killed this dude too of course. the others used the justification that the dude would have killed us had we not killed him but like incapacitation exists, people!! i really really like these people but i don’t know how long i can stay with them if they keep killing like this. like i can excuse a lot of things but murder is,,,,

this whole town was super creepy though tbh. we found this crystal thing in one of the rooms and touched it to another shade who then dissapeared. the next building had a riddle on the door (what’s a henway?) that we had to answer (one or two pounds) before we could enter. there was this death trap room where the walls were trying to kill us unless we put our weapons into these slots along the wall. (i figured that one out!! see im not that dumb!!) caerwyn found a bunch of money and a contract that said something like: they need to collect everything, they want to awaken something, it will take powerful magic, and powerful being being awakened. oh and guik found a wand of magic missiles!

oh i forgot we had this huge fight with a bunch of shades cause a crystal came loose when we put the weapons into the walls but after we fought the shades we were pulled by the crystal towards this ritual that a bunch of robed figures were doing and the others were like “omg we totally have to kill everyone to stop this ritual” so they did. which.

we did end up finding all the stuff though, which was a plus i guess. and i guess they’re right, it is kind of hard to do this kind of stuff and not have casualties, and these people did steal other people’s livelihoods from them. i just don’t know how i feel about all this murder. like i have done my fair share of stuff but something about the fact that we keep murdering people just,,, rubs me wrong. don’t get me wrong, all of these people seem delightful so far, but i don’t know...

anyway, we’re meeting back up with the caravan today. hopefully things will calm down a little and i can figure out what the heck i’m planning on doing in skipsieve. i have genuinely no idea what im gonna do once i get there, but it will be interesting to see how the cookie crumbles lol

[tf2-x-reader]

BLOG INACTIVE, NO LONGER BEING UPDATED

notes are still being checked and nothing will be deleted, but no new posts will be made until further notice

hello :)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

so first post & also pinned post. hi.

he/she, bigender bisexual so yeag

general dni obv. transphobes homophobes etc, go away and don't even think about interacting with me

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

- i'll do headcanons, short fics, and imagines! for mercs and other non-merc characters!

- almost all will be x reader, will usually be gender neutral unless specified otherwise

- go ahead and send asks or submissions! i reserve the right to answer/accept and not answer/accept at my discretion. be as specific or as general as you want

- by default i will generally tend to write most of the mercs as trans if it comes up. depending on the day i might write some as cis and some as trans. i just kinda decide at the moment lmao

(in this household pyro is referred to by he/she/they pronouns because of my personal hc for them, feel free to use whatever pronouns you want, but thats what i do!)

- im probably never gonna do anything n*fw on here but if i do, i will make sure to warn AGGRESSIVELY about it so no one can accidentally stumble on it and so no one will be made uncomfortable!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

(the tag #.x talks is my non-content tag, for if i make a post that isn't an x reader or an imagine, and the tag #.x reblogs is my reblog tag!)

[thesolotomyhan]

being pregnant with miguel angel felix gallardo’s kid but leaving him would include

a/n: the way i went full 180 and wrote this because i LIVE for angst and im here to share my pain with you all,, also! this came out as a preggo hc but it follows up with the angst- um i hope you all enjoy my mess

Taglist: @ fandomnerd16  @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @ all-tings-diego

let me know if you want to be tagged!

tODO POR TU CULPA ANON IM CRYING BEFORE I EVEN BEGIN-

i just need to say this to mend my broken heart but,, can you imagine miguel angel being so fucking elated the day you tell him you’re pregnant-

like im imagining you surprising him with this neatly wrapped box you give him once he comes home,,

your nervous form standing there when he gives you that stupid laugh when he picks up the box like, “whats this, amor?”

just- his smile getting bigger as he starts to unwrap the box,, pulling out this onesie you put in there-

and there’s this shine in his eyes as he holds it up,, looking at you with so much adoration,,

“estas- embarazada, tesoro?” I SOB because i know nothing feels better than to hear from you,, his dama, is pregnant with his kid, :((

and just him walking up to you,, kissing your forehead as his hands caress your stomach, lightly laughing into your hair- i :(

ok but i can feel it in me that since day one,, he would have you never leave the house no matter what because he doesnt want you out and about without him there cuidandote,,

he just gets low key worried because he doesn’t want you to get hurt while he’s working, and not be there for you right away,, so i know he would have someone with you at all times

like personal maids to do anything you ever need because he doesnt want you touching one plate or moving one foot-

he just w o r r i e s about you putting strength in anything that could harm the baby even if youve only been pregnant for a month-

se preocupa el cabron

and also him doubling security just for the sake of something ever happening,, i just- he doesn’t want absolutamente NADA que te pase ok :(

i cant- hes always telling you that you can call him whenever you need to if you want from the littlest problem to the biggest-

“por cualquier cosa, no importa la hora, you call me first, mi amor, tu eres lo mas importante para mi” -

hes just trying his hardest to be as supportive as he can for you,, im tearing up

also someone PLEASE tell me im not the only one that imagines him sitting down on a couch and having you either sitting on his lap or curled into him-

him caressing your hair and kissing the top of your head,, his hand intertwined with yours thats sitting on your stomach-

like its such a soft fucking moment that he cherishes and just looks forward to the day when he imagines holding your baby in his arms- i :((

and i can see him being the type to bring you all and every snack/food he sees on the street on his way home for you to have,,

just the way he’ll come home to you,, fresh pan dulce in his hand or ice cream as he walks up to you,, smile on his face when he leans down to kiss you-

“te traje algo para ti y el niño, amor” and his hand rubbing your stomach -i cannot handle this right now,,

god, he would also be the one to always have you sleeping on his chest,, wanting to be as close to you and his bebe when he falls asleep,,

but also him staring at the ceiling,, thinking of names he likes for your baby,, and just him blurting them out randomly when he really likes one,

i cant-and the little smile on his face when he hears you softly giggle into his chest,, sleepily telling him if you like that name or not- im crying i wow-

ok now listen,, -i want you to imagine with me somewhere at the point of your pregnancy where you find out the gender of your baby ok-

i can imagine you wouldnt have told miguel about you going to the doctors maybe because you wanted to surprise him or maybe it just crossed your mind and you forgot to tell him-

but whatever the reason,, you wouldve wanted to give him the news at his office at hotel americas because youre too excited to wait until later to tell him,,

and i just imagine you carrying this first ever picture in your hand of your baby, this smile on your face as you head up,, i

but right when you round the corner down to his office, you bump into this lady, still trying to button her shirt up, adjusting her outfit and not even acknowledging you as she walks all giggly away from you-

and from this point,, you already know something isnt right even tho you want to so badly brush it off, you cant,

not when you look down the hall where miguels office door was left open-

god, just the nagging tension pulling on your shoulder every time you take a step closer to his door,,

and the moment you push the door open,, its like a weight was dropped on your heart because there miguel stands, right behind his desk, adjusting the collar of his shirt, his hair all messed up and sticking out everywhere-

just- the whole world feeling like it stopped when he looks up at you, standing there in the doorway,, looking at him with so much resentment in your eyes because you fucking know what happen ed when everything clicked for you- i

“mija, que haces aqui? you should be at home, resting-” and like just the way hes trying to play it off like you didnt just catch him angers you even more, your tense form looking at him and teeth gritting- 

“who was that vieja, miguel?”

and just woW him giving you that fucking scoff he does as he smiles at you, moving to start walking up to you,,

“que vieja, mijita?”

i- and the way you give him this dry laugh,, not even noticing your hand starting to crumble the picture in your hand- “no soy pendeja miguel, diME quien era esa mujer” your voice starting to slowly crack,, your eyes filling with angry tears as you back away from him-

i fucking CRY at the thought of desperate miguel trying to hold your arms and calm you down,, and just holding your body against his when you start to struggle out of his hold,, his voice rising to get you to calm down when you start to hit his chest like- como pudiste? after everything we’ve been through, me enganas, como nada-?”

i just- his hands trying to stop you from pushing him away and get ahold of you- “BASTA mija, ella no es nada para mi, let me fix this, tu eres la mejor cosa para mi” i- and him looking at you todo perdido when you push him away angrily,, wanting to get as much space away from him

and theres this tense ass moment where you can barely even look at him through your eyes,, taking a shaky breath like- “cuantas mas hay,,,, dime la verdad-”

but-  ,just him looking down, silent becasue he cant bring himself to lie to you again,, not with they way he can feel his heart in his throat if he even tries to- “dejame arreglar esto, profavor mi amor, i never wanted to hurt you”

i cant- just the way he can see your heart break further when he looks at you,, hurting the one person he promised to never destroy,, 

and his own feeling like it fucking shatters as he watches you toss your ring at him,, your words further crushing him - “nunca pense que llegaria el dia en que te dijera that i dont love you anymore after what you did”-

and just, your muffled cries struggling to leave your mouth as you turn around,, not even noticing when the crumpled picture of your baby falls to the floor-

your legs moving without even thinking towards his door,, not once glancing back at him when he tries to call out your name as you slam the door behind you- i 

THIS IS YOUR FAULT ANON

[adam-memeleri]

Imperfections

it may not be foreign affairs anymore, but its still ayna day in my heart 😔❤️. thanks @gay-dinosaur-banana-milk-carton for the prompt again, i threw in some angst this time cuz i like pain :) kinky

no idea when anything takes place, but im aiming for during the fake relationship i think ?? who knows tbh

-

tagging -@bubblelaureno @lookingforsomethingcuzimbored @swimmingshoebakerydreamer @alccaddsccup @cardinalnuggets

if you do or do not wanna be tagged

Masterlists shameless self promotion lmao

T Rating (uhhhh i think hurt/comfort? primarily? idk man)

Ayna x MC (Kennedy, they/them)

~2k words unedited but thats nothing new now is it?

-

Ayna’s fingers fasten a necklace clasp behind her neck, every movement careful and precise as she readies herself. They move to her hair, fixing it for the nth time, just to assure it’s perfect.

It has to be perfect, all of it. Every hair, every pore, every fine detail - it’s all been carefully thought through for weeks now, for this one specific date.

Valentine’s Day.

The end all be all, at least this year. She’s never given it much thought before, but she’s never really had a reason to. Until this year. Until this crazy, wild, borderline disastrous year. Until the day Kennedy stumbled into her class, all smiles and longing looks.

Until she spent days looking forward to coffee house meetups, until short texts could make her whole day, until every class was an excuse to share a small smile. And, unfortunately, until those meetups were forced to end, until those texts stopped coming, until class was just a reminder that even smiles were dangerous.

But not today. She had a plan today, a foolproof, perfect plan. No planned meetups, no trackable texts, nothing too out in the open. And she’d be damned if it failed.

She turns from the hanging mirror, shrugging on a jacket and tugging on a nice pair of shoes before straightening. Her reflection stares back at her, carefully done makeup and slightly askew glasses. She quickly adjusts them, tucking back one last strand of hair.

With one last glimpse at herself, she grabs the bouquet of roses she picked out earlier in the day, bright red petals resting on her table. And with that she leaves, exiting her building and venturing onto Vancross campus.

She eventually steps out onto one of the many winding paths leading through the school’s grounds, carefully making her way to the expansive library settled in one corner of campus. It’s familiar warmth shines through the windows, yellow lights on even in the darkening night for cramming and over enthusiastic students.

Ayna’s fingers tighten over the door’s handle, tugging it open as a small, excited grin overtakes her lips. She steps inside, flowers poised in her hands regardless of how cheesy they may be, and scans for

They’re with her. Sitting with her, talking with her, laughing with her. They’ve been doing everything with her, and today’s no different. Today’s not special, not exempt, not reserved for Ayna.

Huddled close at a table, books spread before the pair as they whisper, heads so close. Arms touching, smiles wide, chairs so close. They’re so close, that’s all Ayna can think about as she simply stands there, all her previous excitement evaporating from her body.

And they don’t even notice her. Kennedy’s gaze doesn’t flicker in her direction in the way it always does. Their cheeks don’t flush when they’re caught like they always do in the lecture hall. Their hands don’t fidget with barely contained nerves, atop the table, a pen twirling between anxious fingers.

Their gaze is glued to Evelyn’s features, their cheeks dust in a blush from her words, their hands are relaxed as they lean against her shoulder. They don’t even notice Ayna.

She turns on her heel, quickly rushing out the library’s front doors and into the dusk settled around campus. Her heels clack with some strange anger, some swirling in the pit of her gut as her fist clenches, crushing the bouquet she spent so long picking out.

And all for naught. This is all for naught, that’s the worst part. The outfit, the shoes, the hair and makeup - all for absolutely nothing.

She stalks to a trash can resting beside the pavement, glaring down at it with pale knuckles and a furrow in her brow. She breaks, like a glass hitting concrete. She breaks, stuffing the ridiculous flowers into the bin over and over again, until she’s just needlessly exerting herself, needlessly scratching herself on discarded thorns.

Little nicks on her skin, tiny imperfections to ruin it all. A visual of her failings, a marking to remind her of this disastrous night. A brand forged without fire, one that’ll remain in the morning, even after she’s washed off the rest of tonight. Even when the mascara and curls and jacket are discarded in the next few hours, the cuts will stay, at least for a few days.

She breaks once more, from the trash bin as an angry and hurt tear slips down her cheek. A crumpled fist hurriedly wipes it away, before she’s stamping down the paved path once more, shoulders tight and expression pinched.

“Hey! Ayna!” a voice rings behind her, out of breath as quick footsteps draw closer and closer. “Hey,” a hand softly grasps her sleeve, a smiling face slipping into her line of sight.

“Hey,” she mumbles back, her gaze trained on the pavement beneath her feet, feet that haven’t once halted.

Kennedy slows by her side, falling into step with her easily. “Tatum said he saw you come into the library then leave, what’s up?”

Ayna’s shoulders lift in a halfhearted shrug, slumping with an exhale. “Nothing.”

“You sure? You seem kinda… distant.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, okay,” Kennedy relents, head swiveling as they search for something to occupy her attention. “Um, happy Valentine’s!” Their hands clap together excitedly, expression alight with a beaming smile. “I wanted to call you or something earlier, but Winston was hovering over me all day and I don’t know… You’re usually busy this time of night and I didn’t want to bother you.”

Ayna shrugs again, her hands fisted in her pockets. “I’m not busy.”

“Really? Then let’s do something!”

Her gaze snaps up, shock sparking throughout her mind. “What?” she blanks, stopping in her tracks to further scrutinise Kennedy.

“Yeah!” Kennedy’s grin is brilliant, even in the low light, before they glance about the quad. Their hands slip into Ayna’s, fingers tangling with hers, before they’re tugging her along, away from the light posts and travelled paths.

She’s led past the bushes, to a secluded bench, empty branches hanging above it, stretching from a large tree. A soft breeze stirs them, whistling through the leafless wood.

“Okay,” Kennedy starts, sucking in a deep breath. “So I know this is super late, and I don’t really know how to go about this, but…” they meet her eyes, hope glimmering within, “would you, Ayna Seth, do me the honour of being my Valentine?”

She blinks. Not a single other muscle moves, her breath halts in her lungs, her brain malfunctions entirely, and the only thing she can do is blink. Again. And again.

“...Ayna?” Kennedy squeezes her hands where they still rest in theirs.

“You really… Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve been trying to find a good time for ages, so I figured… Are you bleeding?”

“What?”

“You’re bleeding! Your hands!” they grip her forearm, tugging her down to the bench, where they carefully cradle her hands in their lap. Their fingers hover over her skin, not sure what to do as they send uneasy glances up to Ayna’s eyes.

She inspects the scratches now, all of them shallow and mostly painless. “It’s just a few cuts,” she mumbles, Kennedy’s panicked gaze quieting her.

“What happened?” they whisper, as if worried the volume of their voice could inflict further damage.

“I, um -” Ayna steals her hands back, folding them in her lap to hide them. “The flowers,” she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, “They had thorns.”

“You should be more careful.”

“Okay,” she nods, still biting her lip.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“You’ve been wanting to ask me out?” They speak at the same time, concern brimming in Kennedy’s eyes and disbelief in Ayna’s.

A grin quirks Kennedy’s lips as they settle against the bench, arm draped over the back. “I asked first.”

“Barely,” Ayna chuckles lighty.

“Still got there first.”

Ayna shakes her head in exasperation, a fond smile lifting her lips. Before it all falls away, replaced by a crease between her brows. “I, um,” she shifts in her seat awkwardly, struggling for the words. “I don’t think I’m as comfortable with the fake relationship as I thought I was…”

“Okay,” Kennedy answers quickly, easily.

“What?” she balks, jaw working for words. “Are you sure?” is all she manages.

“Of course,” they chime, just as quickly, as easily. “If you’re jealous or uncomfortable, I’ll do whatever I can to put a stop to it.”

Ayna’s jaw snaps shut, a frown curving her mouth, “I’m not jealous.”

“Oh really?” Kennedy’s voice hums, a teasing lilt to it.

“I’m not,” Ayna’s frown deepens.

“Okay…” they hum again, leaning closer as their voice lowers. “So you’d have no problem with me, say, asking out Evelyn for real?” Their eyebrow raises, head cocking to the side. “Or what about Blaine? Maybe Zaira…?” they tap their chin thoughtfully.

Ayna starts, “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” her voice tapers off, replaced by the bouncing of her leg and the picking of a nail.

“You’re jealous?” Kennedy supplies with an amused smile.

Ayna deflates, sighing heavily, “Yes. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being… jealous,” she almost spits the word, distaste heavy on her tongue and sloshing in her stomach.

Kennedy shifts closer, their body warm against Ayna’s in the cool night air. “Don’t be. It’s normal, it’s fine,” they take her hand, their palm covering tiny cuts, tiny imperfections with warmth and comfort. “I’d get jealous if you were walking around with someone too.”

“You’re not weirded out by it?”

“No, it’s normal,” They squeeze Ayna’s hand, thumb brushing lightly on her skin. “It’s human. You’re human.”

“I still don’t like it,” she scowls, eliciting a nudge and smirk from Kennedy.

“That’s fine, too,” they reassure, a more serious expression taking over. “So what happened with the thorns?”

“I got you roses,” Ayna’s cheeks flush dark, “Even though I know it’s lame, and then I kinda, uh, threw them out.”

A wide grin breaks across Kennedy’s face as they sidle up against Ayna, throwing their arm over her shoulder. “One:” they count off on the hand resting over her shoulder, “that’s adorable, and two: why’d you toss them?”

She doesn’t move beneath their arm, sitting stiff and rigid, her voice the same, “I got jealous and ruined them. I wanted tonight to be perfect, it was supposed to be perfect, and I ruined it.”

“Stop that. You didn’t ruin anything,” Kennedy scolds. “I told you, jealousy’s human. And I tend to like the things about you that make you human. It’d be weird if my Valentine was a robot,” they tease, nudging Ayna until she joins them in smiling.

She finally faces them fully, her own eyebrow jutting upwards, “I never said I’d be your Valentine.”

“You didn’t, did you?” Their arm retracts, leg folding on the bench as their body rotates towards hers. Their palms clasp in their lap as they lean forward, a smirk on their lips. “So what’ll it be, Ayna? Be my Valentine? My perfectly imperfect Valentine?”

She chuckles, shaking her head as she finally relaxes, the teasing familiar. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she smiles softly, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear, unbothered by it.

“It does if you turn off the robot brain,” Kennedy lightly taps Ayna on the nose, laughing when her face scrunches.

“The robot brain is a part of the Valentine’s package.”

Kennedy squints, eyes roving over Ayna’s features. The askew glasses, the smudged lipstick, the flyaway hairs. “Are the roses also a part of it?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Then I’m all in,” they grin, just as infectious and brilliant as always. “So? Valentines?” they prod, wiggling their eyebrows playfully.

Ayna smiles softly back, scratched hands rising to cup Kennedy’s cheeks and close the already shrinking distance between them. “Valentines,” she murmurs against their lips, a whispered promise. Before they meet, light and soft and full of the light that’s held beyond the bushes.

[corruptedconfessions]

Vampire!Todoroki x Reader

Day 1 of Monster Fic a day

Prompt:Vampire!Todoroki! “I’ve been watching you longer than you realize.”  

Feel free to send in your halloween/monster/supernatural requests! Atm ive been using a wheel and prompt list to try and write things for this month! Im sure you guys can give much better requests than I can come up with myself lmaoo

Btw all fics for this will be tagged as #monstermonth !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Typing away rapidly at your computer you found yourself completely engrossed in your work, unable to bring yourself to even blink as your eyes were glued to the screen. You weren’t sure how long you had been here, hunched over your laptop at a library table, but it was long enough that your back ached from your posture and your fingers were cramping, begging for a break.  

You were so lost in your work you didn’t even notice as a stranger walked up behind you, staring at the screen and you for a moment, hovering behind you. You didn’t notice when he glanced around, searching the library for a second, but you sure as hell noticed when he suddenly touched your hair, taking a strand and twirling it between his fingers. 

 “Ah-!”  

You nearly jumped out of your skin, spinning around to stare at the male, who stared back at you innocently. You frowned back at him furrowing your eyebrows as you leaned away from him. 

 “Can I sit here?”

 He pointed at the spot across from you, sweeping over to it and sitting down before you could even finish nodding.

  “...Okay…”

You hesitantly glanced up at him before turning back to your laptop, now hyper aware of the gaze that bore into you as you tried to work. Never once did he seem to look away or blink he just stared you down as if you were a piece of meat on display and he was a starving dog. 

 “You smell…so good. Makes me hungry.” 

Officially creeped out you quickly shut your laptop, practically dumping it into your back as you quickly scooted the chair away from him and stood up.

  “Um, thank you. I should be going-” 

Faster than you could even process the mans hand shot out, grabbing your forearm roughly, dragging you back over to him with unnatural ease. You gasped softly, squeaking in fear when his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him as his grip on your arm tightened. His pupils were blown wide as he leaned in, pressing his face against the side of your neck, breathing in deeply before slowly dragging a tongue up the side of your neck.

  “You taste as good as you smell…” 

You squeaked trembling in his hold, desperately trying to yank yourself free of his grip as he kept licking you, teeth scraping against your neck, sending jolts of fear through your body.  

“L-let go of me! Help!” 

 You yelled desperately as you struggled harder, cursing yourself for not noticing the time. It was late, practically pitch black outside and there was no one left in the library but you and this stranger, not even the librarian could be seen. 

 “You’re hurting my ears.” 

His duo colored eyes peered up at you from where he was pressed into your neck, voice soft and lazy as he rubbed his nose against your fluttering pulse, purring softly as he licked there too.

  “If you want me to stop yelling maybe you should let me go-!” 

You were cut off as something sharp pricked your neck, sinking into your skin. Your mouth fell open in a weak gasp as your knees suddenly buckled, your form collapsing against the mans chest as he easily held you up, head still burrowed into the side of your neck. 

 “What are you…” 

You whimpered weakly, starting to feel light headed and cold, your words slurring together. You’re tongue felt heavy and dry in your mouth and your blood seemed to roar in your ears, along with a…slurping noise? 

The cold in your bones grew stronger and stronger as you weakly looked down at the stranger, your breath being taken away when you saw him, his eyes half closed. He would almost look cute if it weren’t for the blood smeared around his mouth and your shoulder, and the fangs that disappeared into the flesh of your shoulder.  

You took one look at the grotesque scene in front of you before your eyes rolled back, passing out in his arms.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Groaning softly your eyes fluttered open, the soft light of the room immediately sending a searing pain through your already throbbing head. You’re stomach rolled uncomfortably as you forced your eyes to open all the way anyways, weakly glancing around the room as you squinted against the…candle light? Your eyes slide closed again as you took a few deep breaths, trying to settle the throbbing in your head and the way your lunch was threatening to come back up.  

What had happened? You weren’t quite sure… 

After taking a few moments to collect yourself you slowly sat up, every move you made adding to the growing list of pain and discomfort that was settling deep in your bones. You’re entire body felt like it was weighed down with lead, and your neck felt stiff and ached painfully on one side. When you looked down at yourself you found that you were dressed in a long flowing night gown, old and worn enough that it was unfairly comfortable against your skin, still, it certainly was not something you would wear on your own… 

You tried not to think too hard about that.  

Swinging your legs off the side of the bed your bare feet hit the plush rug spread across the wooden floors. The entire room looked like something out of a movie. Black Gothic drapes hanging from the window on the other side of the room, the bed you were sitting on was huge, with a long flowing canopy that was currently pinned back to let in the light from the candles that were hung on the wall in cold iron cages. Everything screamed like something out of an old Victorian movie, and it just furthered your confusion. Surely you were still dreaming…

 “You’re awake.” 

 Startled your gaze snapped to the doorway, a pale figure silently walking through and immediately moving to your side. One hand pressed against your back as the other tucked under your legs, pulling them up as he lowered you back into bed.  

“Darling, you shouldn’t be up yet, you need rest.” 

You blinked up at Todoroki in confusion as you were carefully lowered back down into the bed, the heavy sheets and comforter being pulled over your body as he almost tenderly tucked you in. Something in the back of your head told you you were safe with him…that you should just relax and trust him, but you weren’t sure you knew him…What even was his name? 

“T-todoroki?” 

The name spilled from your lips before you even realized it, unsure of where it came from but the way he smiled down at you told you it must be his name. So you did know him then… 

“Hush. You need to rest. You’re body is still weak, you need to let it recover.” 

You started to panic as he spoke, trying to sit up again, panicking even more when a single hand on your chest easily stopped you from being able to move at all.  

“W-what?! W-what do you mean, where am I?!” 

His eyes were soft as he stared down at you, silent for a moment as you panicked beneath him, eyes scanning the room desperately before locking back onto his face. You were so helpless, so confused. That’s okay, you will learn to understand…someday.  

“You’re with me. Sleep now, I will take care of you.” 

You stared up into his eyes, a sick feeling building in your stomach as he stared back. His eyes…They were so…Cold. Void. There was no life or light in them. Something was wrong.  

“T-thats okay- I actually need to get home, my parents are waiting on me and I’m sure they’re worried-” 

You wrapped a hand around his wrist, desperately trying to pull it away as you sat up, heart pounding when you couldn’t move him even an inch. What was he?! It was like he was made of stone. 

“That’s not true, they are out of town until next month…You shouldn’t like to me like that, you know.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared up at him as he frowned back down at you, his face still passive but something told you you had just pissed him off…The feeling in the air felt heavier, like it was weighing down on you, threatening to crush you.  

“H-how do you know that…?”

Your heart pounded in your chest, hair standing on edge as the vampire smirked down at you, his fangs gleaming against the candlelight. He tilted his head, smirking wider as a hand slid up to gently stroke your cheek. 

 “Oh, darling~ I’ve been watching you longer than you realize.”

[skelebells]

retail au fic

under the cut!

Disclaimer i have somehow managed to never work retail so im pulling all this out my ass if you actually know whats up and want to tell me how i fucked up and could fix it please do!

Gordon Freeman had hit something of a dead end in his life. It hadn’t started like that, though, he’d been on a great path since high school- he got accepted into and graduated from MIT with a degree in theoretical physics, been immediately promised a job at some mysterious, prestigious sounding-place called Black Mesa, moved to a nice apartment in a city in New Mexico to be closer to the job, had everything set up to succeed, and then- well, he wasn’t entirely sure what happened.

He had been half an hour in what was going to be his daily commute, leaning against a cool window as the fancy air conditioned bus wound its way into the desert. He might have fallen asleep if not for the anticipation of a new job- and, just as he started to relax, he picked up the smell of smoke. He looked up, suddenly concerned, but the bus driver seemed to not have noticed. Gordon put his face to the glass and tried to see any signs of impending disaster- was that the military?

Sure enough, a makeshift roadblock of several heavily armed tanks and sweating soldiers stopped the bus. One of them marched aboard and muttered something dangerous-sounding to the bus driver, who nodded. One of the other passengers- an important-looking man in a white coat with a briefcase, as all important scientists seemed to wear- was escorted (borderline dragged) off the bus, before it turned and started to head back up the road, the wheels spinning up sand as they pulled away.

Gordon snapped around and stared out the back window. Past the roadblock, obscured by dust and billowing clouds of smoke, was the source of that smell. That probably used to be Black Mesa, he figured, not quite processing what he was looking at. The military was shooting into the smoke clouds laced with dancing threads of electricity, and he could hear screams, both human and… not. 

He stared at the clouds and the rubble of his future until it disappeared into the horizon, as the bus sped further and further away.

He got home and tried endlessly to call someone who might know what the hell happened, but he got no response. He couldn’t find any record of Black Mesa online, anywhere. He was jobless, apparently.

Every job application he submitted to other scientific institutions got turned down with no explanation, and every interviewer clammed up once he mentioned Black Mesa. Well- shit, then. With any sense of a bright and scientifically intriguing future fast disappearing, he applied to some soulless chain supermarket after taking his degree and his acceptance to Black Mesa off his resume, and got the job within the week.

Fantastic.

The next couple of months went by in a mindless blur of unremarkable to unpleasant customers and minimum wage, and Gordon was feeling a sort of dread setting in that the rest of his life was going to be like this. ‘Your college degree was for nothing and you are going to waste away selling gum to teenagers with better lives than you’ something told him, and it was hard not to listen.

It was in one of these late, quiet afternoon moods, mindlessly restocking within sight of the entrance, where he first saw one of Them. The sliding doors parted and a tall, skinny man in a bright yellow shirt walked in, golden retriever on leash and pushing an empty shopping cart.

Gordon looked up and opened his mouth to say something about no dogs being allowed in the store, and stopped. First off, it was a service dog, so that was fine, but said dog was huge. Sitting down, it looked like it would be about six feet tall, about the same height as Gordon. 

‘Uh, what the fuck?’ he blurted, all regulations forgotten.

The tall man looked over at him and blinked. ‘Hi!’

‘...uh, hi! Why- why’s your dog so big, man??’

‘Oh- this is Sunkist! He’s- he’s the perfect dog,’ the man declared cheerfully. He and his dog walked up to the drink section just behind Gordon, and began loading several various sodas, both in packs and loose cans, into his trolley. The- the dog had a litre bottle of Mountain Dew held in its mouth. Okay. Sure.

‘Hi, Sunkist,’ Gordon said weakly, and decided not to press the issue. He wasn’t paid enough to try and figure out how or why this dog was so fucking giant. Instead, he stood and watched, entranced and with a growing sense of insanity for the e it took for the seven or so minutes it took both dog and man to drag roughly 50 litres worth of soda into the trolley and started to wheel it over towards the checkout.

‘Hold on,’ Gordon called out, suddenly very curious about this man with his lethal amount of soda and his terrifyingly huge dog. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Tommy Coolatta!’ the man said brightly, and squinted at the name tag on Gordon’s chest. ‘Uh… Gordon Freeman. N-nice to meet you!’

‘Yeah, that’s- that’s me. Nice to meet you too, Tommy,’ Gordon said, feeling himself retreat into customer service mode from the bizarreness of it all. His name was fucking Coolatta?? He was done. He started back on restocking his shelves and glanced periodically over to Tommy and Sunkist at the checkout. Ah, Darnold was at that till. Gordon had never spoken to the man much but apparently he liked soda, judging by the enthusiastic conversation the two seemed to be having. Ten entire minutes later, the soda was scanned and paid for and bagged, and the two left and walked off down the street. Sunkist seemed to be carrying two of the plastic bags in her mouth.

‘What the fuck,’ muttered Gordon, once they were out of sight. He’d had unusual weird or creepy customers before, of course he had, but this was a new level. Fuck this job. He had no idea what to make of the encounter.

The next few days went by without much of an event. Tommy slipped into the background of his memory and Gordon fell back into his normal, boring, working routine. 

Until, like a purposeful slap in the face from the universe, the store was robbed. Or at least he was pretty sure that was what happened. 

He had taken to playing solitaire in the empty hours of the store (which were most hours, in this gloomy late autumn). It was a normal and productive game for someone his age. He was doing puzzles to challenge his brain, fuck you. Maybe twelve games in a row was a getting a little sad, but- 

His cards spontaneously combusted.

He yelled and reared back from the counter but before he could even process what the fuck just happened the window- the large display window next to the accessible, already opening sliding doors- was shattered by some large thrown projectile.

Oh god, that was a guy, what the fuck- there was a- an old man in a lab coat? Sprawled out on the floor in the broken glass of the window and- cackling, and a second, shorter guy with- with a sleeveless lab coat, what the fuck-

and that is all folks

mad i lost interest before i could write in benrey’s entrance but thats alright

if any of yall want to take this and continue it or whatever please do!

[randomsevans]

is it all fake ? part 2

Chris was in a mind of his own , it had been an hour since his meeting , and he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he will need to find a fake wife . As Chris walked the busy streets of London with his cap and glasses on he wondered around different corners  not really knowing where he was going . Chris had been to London many times in the past for press tour , filming and that was what he was currently doing in the city , right now . Filming for his next movie .

Chris walked down a street , it was less crowed but still had people running up and down , the loud chatter and loud noises ,was causing chris to not be able to think straight , his head was being all fussy , until he smelt that strong , burnt smell of coffee 

“ a cup of coffee might do me good “

Chris wondered further down the street , until he stopped in front  of a brick wall , stained with old  paint and god knows what , it had a large window which you could see in side, it  looked like  fairly modern , shaky kinda , the walls were either white or laid with wood , it was two floors  with the second one only taking up half of the space above  so it was almost as if a balcony, Chris could just about make out  book selves at the top .

He went and reached for the door , thinking this was a good enough place since it wasn't that packed. Just as he was about to reach for the door it swung open , with someone exiting the cafe , the ransom person give him a small smile as he stepped to the side allowing them pass . as he door was about to swung back close he catches  it , opening it wider and stepping in 

the first thing he noticed was the cafe smelled of coffee and vanilla , it bring a calming scene , as he stepped in he heard a booming high pitched laugh as he made his way in and towards the counter , the laughter continued and he couldn't  help a little smile on his face , it was a sweet laugh a one that made him want laugh , even tho he had no idea what was so funny . 

it was until he reached the front of the counter due to there being no line   he found at from where the noise was coming from , there was a y/h/c girl with her back towards him laughing her head off , with someone on a stood on the other side of the counter , The one on the stool coughed , probably singling that there was a customer 

the y/h/c girls laughter was slowly coming to a stop .

“ill be with you in one minute “ she said still not facing him as she continued to giggle ,trying to calm herself down 

“its okay “ Chris could help but a little chuckle  sipped his lip 

the girl took a deep high pitched breath , Chris heard a faint “ i hate you “ probable aimed at the other girl who just shrugged 

Chris shakes his head slightly with a small smile placed on his lips , as he looks down removing his sunglasses 

“what can i get you “ he heard a sweet voice speech , clearly sore from her laughter , but every word spoke professional  and very much British  , Chris looked up to see the girl turned around , facing him with her hand  on the  cash register , with a smile , and cheeks redden , with her y/e/c staring right at him sparking .

“umm “ chris coughs up at abit as he forget to breath , “mm ill just have a straight black please . 

the girls smile only got wider “ oh an American “ she said 

“yeah what give that away “ Chris was slowly bring back his confidence which moments ago had disappeared for an unknown reason 

“ oh i dont know , people just dont order straight up black coffee around here “ she stated , with a little smirk as she presses buttons on the cash register

“oh so its not my accent then “ he jokes , sharing the same smirk 

“oh that too “ she giggles 

there was a moment were the pair of them giggled a little , until she spoke up once again 

“will you be sitting in or take out ?” she asked 

Chris was put back by the question , he original just wanted to get a coffee and get going but something was telling him to stay 

“sitting please “ he answered 

“ okay ... that will be £3.65″  

he nodded giving her a £5 “thank you “ she placed the money in the till and gave him the change . He wasn't expecting anything back , but then he remembered that people dont usual give tips in the UK , so he found a jar label tips/donations and stepped to the side , until he saw some stool and sat on one , he placed his hands onto the counter , where he was from he could see the girl , shifing around making his coffee , he couldn't help but look .His mind was clear for once , forgetting that he needs to find a wife .

he was quickly brought out of his own head as he saw the girl coming closer with a cup in her hand and placed it in front of him 

“enjoy !” she said 

“im sure i will “ Chris smirked 

“ i dont see how , thats just straight black , its basically the same as  as straight up vodka “she had a playful disgusted faced on 

“well i happen to like both “ chris chuckled “so what do you usual have then”

“well .. “ she dramatically began “ hot coffee aint the nicest “ her British accent coming out strong “ i like mine , cold , with ice ,a shit tone of milk with either vanilla or caramel “

Chris month opens wide and nodded his head “ so you like it sweet “ he said “ like you “ he  blurred out , his own mind racing 

“why did you say that she probable thinks your so weirdo now !” he asked himself 

her eyes widen and her cheeks redden , 

“i guess “ she simple shrugged trying to hide her embarrassment 

“so do you  usual judge people on their orders “ chris asked trying to avoid what he just asked , while also wanting to speak to her more 

“not really “ a playful smirked fell on her lips “only the ones like you who drink the devils juice 

“oh really , is that what this is “ he lifed up his cup taking sip “ devil juice ?” she just nodded “okay then , what do you think of me ?”he asked

“how do i know , i dont know you apart from your order , never seen your face before around here “

“oh yeah , im here for work “ he sighed 

she simply nodded as she wiped the counter down 

“let me guess work isnt the best at the moment so you are using coffee as your fuel.

“ha quite the observant one arnt you “ chris chuckled 

“not really just a guess” 

“well you'd be right “ he sighed , lifting his coffee to his lips , staring straight at her as she did the same 

“i like this place , i might come back “

Tag list

@little-smurf

@patzammit

Tag list @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @little-smurf @harrysthiccthighss @captainchrisstan @stupendousfirebouquetbwft

[shhh-no-ones-home]

passed duff mckagan x reader

+++++++++

this was originally supposed to be super sad but now its not so yay! lol its whatever ill probably write another one that is in a bit. again its only half edited so if there are any errors, sorry.

Song: 400 lux by lorde

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse @slashscowboyboots

+++++++++

Duff leaned into me, the bottle in his hand landing in my lap as he gripped it tightly. He had been drinking most of the night like he usually did and I finally got him calmed down enough to sit still. The rest of the guys were passed out around the room and I refused to sleep until I knew they were all comfortable and safe. Duff was the only one left, still trying to get me to laugh as he poked my cheek a few times, being way too close to my face with his own.

"Come on, isn't it just a little funny."

He slurred, making an inch with his fingers. I glared over at him, brows raised.

"No duff, you need to go to bed."

I said, trying not to mother him but it coming out that way anyways. He pouted and sat back, his hands landing in his own lap now as he sat further into the couch.

"This sucks."

He said, looking at the ground. I drew my brows in confusion.

"What sucks?"

He sighed, lifting his shoulders in a half shrug.

"You don't like me anymore."

He said softly.

"What makes you think that?"

He let out a short laugh.

"I have a list actually."

He said matter-of-factly. I raised a brow in shock.

"Is that so?"

He looked over at me and nodded.

"Yeah."

I turned to look at him.

"Care to enlighten me?"

He mirrored my actions, his hair falling away from his face, the black streak at his neck showing itself.

"You don't laugh at my jokes anymore."

He said a little hurt and I snorted.

"Okay?"

He nodded once.

"Yeah, and you don't talk to me anymore when we're on the road."

I drew my brows together again, trying to think of a time when we had sat down to talk just the two of us. I was coming up empty handed though.

"And don't think I didn't notice the way you talk to me now, like I'm some sort of child."

He said scoffing, pulling a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and lighting it. I sat and thought for a second. I guess I have been doing all of these things but it wasn't because I didn't like him anymore. If anything it was the opposite. He sat forward again as I stared at the couch in defeat.

"Duff..."

I started, looking up at him and reaching up to run my fingers through his hair. He dropped his head back against the couch and looked at me as I twirled a piece of his mane around my forefinger.

"I still like you, I promise, It's just..."

I paused, opening and closing my mouth before finding the right words.

"It's just, I feel like I've gone from friend to caretaker."

I sighed, closing my eyes.

"I'm tired. Keeping you all on track is like herding kittens. I feel like I don't have time to myself anymore. I don't laugh at your jokes because I don't have the energy. I don't talk to you on tour because I'm too busy making sure everyone is where they're supposed to be. And I've been treating you like a child because you've been acting like one, hell you all have."

I looked over at him and he was staring at me intently.

"I'm sorry."

Was all he said. I sent him a soft smile.

"You shouldn't be sorry. If anything I should've known what I was getting into when I joined the team."

He grabbed my hand away from his hair and kissed the palm of it, me resting it against his cheek when he let go.

"But you shouldn't have to deal with us. We are five grown men, we should know how to take care of ourselves."

He said in an almost demanding tone. I ran my thumb over his cheekbone.

"Yeah, you'd think so."

He rolled his head forward.

"No, we should, really. Starting tomorrow I'm getting all these guys asses into gear. You don't need to deal with us. We can take care of ourselves."

I rested my hand on the back of the couch.

"Okay duff."

I said half amused. He leaned forward and set the bottle on the coffee table, cigarette still burning between his lips.

"We'll make it up to you."

I readjusted in my spot so my back was against the arm rest now.

"Deal but if you wanna make a difference right now you'll go to bed."

I said, yawning. He sighed, plucking the stick from his mouth and dabbing it out in the ash tray. I watched as he stretched, his back popping.

"Okay."

He said softly, sitting back before leaning over me. My eyes went wide as he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my chest and getting comfy.

"Uh, duff?"

I asked. He hummed in response, tightening his grip on me. I sighed and relaxed into him, he was warm. A nice contrast to the basement air.

"Nevermind."

°°°°°°°°°

When I woke up all I could focus on was duffs breathing on the back of my neck. I didn't want to open my eyes yet out of fear of being met with one of the other guys scolding us. At some point during the night we had switch positions, duff now spooning me from behind but a death grip still around my torso. It was comfortable if I was being honest and he was still a welcomed warmth. I heard a soft click sound before half opening one eye. Sat in front of me was two coffee mugs and a pair of legs I didn't need to look up to know were axl's.

"Sleep good?"

He asked, finally drawing my attention. I looked at him and rubbed my eyes.

"I guess."

I said groggily.

"You two get into some things after we all fell asleep?"

He asked, raising his brows and taking a drink from his own mug. I sent him an annoyed look, trying to sit up but duff pulling me back down. I sighed out in defeat.

"No actually but when duffs drunk it's kind of hard to move him."

I said trying again but failing. Duff groaned against me. I looked back at him to see his face scrunched up.

"Sto-op."

He whined, digging his face into my back. I looked up to axl for help and he just laughed at me.

"Just making sure you didn't sleep with my bass player."

He said amused. I breathed deeply.

"As if."

He shrugged and turned to walk away.

"You might want to drink that before it gets cold."

He said making his way to the stairs and walking back up them, his feet heavy against the wood.

"Duff you gotta let go."

I said softly, running my hand over his. He made a noise low in his throat.

"But you're so comfy and warm."

He protested, gripping my shirt tightly in his hands.

"Axl brought coffee."

I wooed, trying to persuade him. I felt him shift, poking his head up to look at the coffee table. I leaned back and he looked down at me.

"Good morning gorgeous."

He said in his best flirty tone, smirking at me.

"You're not funny."

I said finally able to sit up. I stretched out as he moved behind me, also sitting up and reaching for a mug.

"I think I'm hilarious."

He said boldly, taking a sip and moaning softly. I sent him a weird look before picking the other mug up. I Inhaled the scent of it but didn't actually take a drink, just holding it in my icy hands. I heard duff yawn before he dropped his head to my shoulder.

"i dont wanna be awake."

he groaned out and i rested my head on the top of his.

"you have a headache yet?"

i asked, feeling him shake his head no against me.

"then you can nap later."

i heard him yawn again before sitting upright and grabbing the half cigarette from the ash tray. i watched as he lit it, setting his mug back down first.

"hangover naps are the best naps."

he said, exhaling smoke out his nose. i laughed a little bit.

"whatever you say duff."

he looked over at me and offered a sleepy smile.

"you still okay if i crash at your place tonight?"

i nodded.

"as always."

i said, raising my mug to him in a toast before taking a drink.

"welp, i guess i better keep my word."

he said, putting his cig out and standing. i looked up at him as he reached down and grabbed his own mug.

"wait, really?"

i asked and he laughed.

"i promised id get them into gear, so thats what im gonna do."

i smiled to myself as he made his way to the stairs.

"hey duff?"

i asked and he paused, one foot on the bottom stair and one on the ground still.

"yeah?"

i nodded slowly.

"thanks."

he raised his mug back to me like id done before.

"no, thank you."

he said before making his way slowly up the stairs. i sat back and sighed. hopefully that works.

[just-another-haikyuu-blog]

Best friends.. but more💕

Takanobu Aone × fem!reader

Tags: NSFW,, biting,, daddy/princess petnames,, heart break

Tw: drinking, drunk sex,,

Word count: 1800+

Im a wee bit drunk atm if yall find any grammar errors or would like tags or tws I could add message me and let me know. Other than being drunk Im also new to tagging stories so sometimes I don't pay attention 😅

NSFW under the cut♡

It was sometimes rather odd being best friends with Aone. Everyone else in your class and well the whole school seemed to think he's so intimidating. Which is kinda funny considering its based on his height. When in reality hes just a big ol teddy bear.

You were rather glad no one really knew him like you did. Still he wasn't very talkative when you two hung out but you could tell by his body language that he always had a good time. Especially when you two played games together. Who would imagine this very stiff, quiet guy actually gets angry when he loses at video games. It wasnt very noticable until he'd always makes an excuse to go get snacks every time he would lose. You caught him quietly fuming to himself in the kitchen after a couple times. Which turned into many times of sneaking out of his room just to watch him and having your heart race trying to make it back so he wouldn't know that you essentially were stalking him in his own home. It was then you realized maybe your feelings toward him were for more than just friendship. A thought you'd never have expected to have towards your best friend. So you shook it off everytime you felt it a little more not wanting to hurt your relationship.

After graduation things stayed the same mostly. The only real difference was after you two had gotten jobs and places of your own and it was a bit harder to spend time together. So when you two had time to spare you were either at his house or him at your apartment. It was never abnormal for you two to stay the night together. Most of the time you'd drink and play games together. Which really wasnt very often lately because your boyfriend didn't like another guy spensing the night.

It didnt matter how many times you told him that Aone is just your best friend and nothing more. He never believed you. Finally after countless texts and calls of Aone asking to come over you decided to go to his place. You got drunk and vented to him about everything, eventually passing out. Being the sweet guy he is Aone helped you to the couch and covered you up. The very next day you woke up to multiple calls and messages from your boyfriend. It was clear he was pissed but you shrugged it off and stuffed your phone in your pocket. You explained the situation and Aone offered to drive you home. It didnt seem like too big a deal that was until you made it home. Your boyfriend standing next to his car outside your place. Seeing you with Aone made him furious. "I guess Im gonna go sort this out. I'll text you later." you said before exiting the car.

Immediately your boyfriend dragging you up to your apartment. Not even two seconds inside and he berates you with questions. "Were you at his place last night? Is that why you weren't home this morning? Did you fuck him? I cant believe-" you stopped him right there and told him plainly "No. I didn't fuck him. I missed my best friend and I got drunk and passed out. If it werent for that I'd have come home last night." None of it seeming to have any bit of a difference to him. He shook his head with a deep scowl on his face, "We're done." he said and walked out the door. You didnt try to stop him and just let him go.

It took a while for the sadness to hit but when it did you got pretty depressed because you actually really liked the guy. But in the end you werent going to give up your best friend time for some guy no matter how much you liked him.

A couple days after the break up you had went out drinking with your work and got absolutely shitfaced. Thankfully one of your coworkers got your phone. "Dont worry y/n I called a friend to come get you. He should be here any minute." You were barely coherent to what she said and ended up face down in your food crying.

Aone finally showing up, and everyone being in awe of his demeanor towards you. They all drunkenly tell him how good a boyfriend he is. He didnt correct them, just thanked them for calling and said that he'd take care of you. He rubbed your back and leaned down to say "Y/n Im here to take you home. Hop on my back Ill carry you." Your coworkers cheering him on yet again for being so sweet. You being wasted beyond belief got entirely too excited at the idea of a piggy back ride. It took a couple tries but you eventually got on his back.

The walk to his car was kind of cold and your nose was especially suffering. "Aoneee~ my nose its- *hiccup* c-cold." You said right before you snuggled your face into his warm neck. The smell of him almost making you melt. You leaned up into his ear "aoneeeee," you said with such a pouty tone, "A-o-ne Ivee got a seeecret.. I think I might like you.. e-even in high school." You lean back down to nuzzle your face into his neck not noticing how much the tall silent man was blushing. He didn't really say much back and honestly you didn't really notice from how drunk you were.

You hadnt even realized that at some point he had put you in his car. He decided to just take you back to his house since it was closer. You ended up falling asleep blabbering about how hot you were and trying to take off your clothes. Pulling up you were still out of it and thankfully clothed since you were too drunk to get them off. He picked you up and carried you inside up to his bed. Normally you would sleep on the couch but with how things were tonight he'd take the couch.

He laid you down and gathered up a tshirt and some of his sleeping pants, which were way too big. He woke you up enough to have you change clothes and tuck you in. "If you need anything at all Im right on the couch." He stood up to walk to the door. Only to have you grab his hand and pull him down over top of you. "don't go." You said in barely a whisper almost whining. Looking down at you in this way causing his body to react to you like it never has before. Almost making him leave immediately, seeing as how you werent in your right mind, but the way you tugged at him he let you win. He moved over to the other side of you whispering back "okay but once youre asleep im going to the couch."

He laid there looking at you thinking about what you had said when he picked you up and this overwhelming feeling of wanting you filled his mind. You in search of warmth rolled over to cuddle your back against him. Your body kind of going on its own at this point from your drunken and slightly horny state. He had no idea what to do and felt a panic wash over him before you grabbed his arm and wrapped it around you. Feeling the neediness of how his hand held your waist your ass began grinding against him. His hand gripping you tight trying to keep his composure forcing a low moan out of you and the words flowed out of your mouth, "Aone please♡ touch me please." Thats all it took for him to break. You could feel both hands now on your waist pulling you into him grinding his hard cock against your ass. Every thrust and his tightening grip forcing a moan out of you.

The pants he gave you slowing riding down leaving you in just his shirt. He freed a hand to roam over your body and leaned down just barely breathing over your neck before running his tongue along your skin to find the most sensitive spot. You gasped at how good it felt. A little further he thought, just a nip right there in that sensitive little spot. Grabbing your hips as you grinded against him begging for more. "Pleasee Aone more.. bite me more mmm please" gasping between every word. He obliged and sunk his teeth into you. He immediately felt your body tense up as you moaned for more from him "Aone♡ fuck- fuck me please."  "You sure?" He said back. Your hand reaching back to grab his lengthy throbbing cock "yesss~ mmmm fuck you're so big" stroking it listening to his quiet moans in your ear turning you on even more. Enjoying the feeling of your small hands fondling him so needily. Pushing him so close to his climax he had to remove your hand before wound up cumming all over your backside. The pleasure overcoming his mind he rolled you over to your back legs falling off to either side of him he looked you over as you watched him pull off his shirt, his muscles gleaming from all the sweat. "Fuck.." you gasp breathlessly.

"Like what you see, princess?" His words like honey to you. "Mmm fuck yes daddy, I like every.. last.. bit of what I see~" Barely able to get your words out before he thrust his big throbbing cock inside you. "Mmf♡ fuck~ oh fuck~~" Your moans fueling his lust filled mind as he went harder just to see your expressions as the pleasure took you over. Your words jumbled as you barely were able to get out anything between moans. The squelching between your legs at every thrust on top of the low moans coming from his lips driving you mad as you felt him hitting the deepest part of you. "Mmmf♡ i-i.. fuc- i-mmmm im cu-" your moan cutting you off as you came all over his thick cock. The feeling of your walls tightening around him sending him over the edge he grunted grinding himself deeper inside you painting your insides in his juices. His moans stifled by your mouth as you pulled him down into a deep kiss. Neither of you having the want to move just laid there intertwined. Exhaustion taking over you both passed out almost simultaneously.

You woke up to an empty bed and your clothes folded neatly on the dresser. Only remembering bits and pieces from the night before but enough to know what had taken place in this bed right where you were laying. Your face as red as a beet you pulled the covers up over yourself, almost wanting to squeal. You heard the knob twisting and you laid back down pretending to be asleep. You could hear him walk in closer and closer until it felt like he was right over you and your eyes snapped open. His face directly above yours he leaned forward and kissed you and scooped you up with the covers you were rolled up in. Your face hot and embarrassed as to the suddenness, " Wh-what are you doing??" He smiled down at you continuing on, "Don't worry princess, Im just taking you to the bathroom so you can clean yourself up.. unless of course you want to continue last night?" Every bit of the night before flooded your head as he sat you down. You almost couldnt believe it. Slightly embarrassed you knew if you didn't take this chance now you'd hate yourself for it later. Dropping the blankets you pulled him into the bathroom. "You helped make the mess now you can help clean it." A tiny smirk crossed his mouth and you knew you were going to get way more than you bargained for.💕

[end-of-pizza]

Pizza Chanukah Night 1

for the newbies, pizza Chanukah is simple, it is a Secular approach to the holiday, so that I can share the traditions with my friends who aren’t Jewish, and have some fun running around with family and friends all 8 nights, which is what the holiday always meant growing up, spending time with family and friends and being thankful they are there. This year of course is going to be more complicated due to FUCKING EVERYTHING ABOUT 2020, but for those who are new here, we eat at 8 different pizza joints, one for each night, always a different kind of pizza. We watch a new movie or cartoon every night, to sort of approach the way people (myself included) make it a yearly tradition to watch like, those Rudolph movies, or the Tim Allen Santa Clause movies. full lists of the last five years can be found in the tags, if you don’t want to join in, don’t worry I will only be posting a thing or two about it every night, an explanation about what that night is about via chabat.org, the location we are eating, as well as the end of night prayer.

well, happy Chanukah everyone

tonights theme according to Chabad.org is called

Dedicated to Darkness: The Cellar they describe the practice as “ Before you light your first candle, stand quietly for a moment in complete darkness, and let the darkness indeed be complete, with no want for anything, no need for the distractions of sight; simply sense the quiet self that sits there patiently waiting for you to take notice, to turn off the television, to turn off all vision, to be quiet and sense the sanctuary that is the self.

Standing in the cellar of myself, with an unlit candle in my hand, in the darkness I discover a deeper self than light lets in. This night I dedicate to inner darkness, to the unknown, unspeakable seclusion of the soul. It is the darkness that keeps me searching a worthy opponent, provoking my path to further reaches, my thoughts to further depths. It is the as-of-yet unillumined, unanswered aspects of an unraveling self, the landscape of dreams and nightmares, tragic truths and fears.

I dedicate this night to every question I have quested after, to every confusion that has humbled me, to every challenge I have mastered, to the thrill of secrecy. As this candle casts a shadow, myself in dark outline, I integrate and dedicate the darkness with the light. The first night is for the dark cellar of winter, that which illumines a deeper insight.”

so usually I would tell you to go get your family and friends together and order some papa johns or pizza king or hut or sals or something but well 2020 has sucked, most places here in indiana are closed by this point in the night and like, well its hard to keep looking up

but thats what chanukah is about its about looking up, even when it seems hopeless

im going to go chuck a digorno into the oven, find the rugrats chanukah episode on youtube or netflix or w/e and spend some time with my girlfriend and our cats, and likely do a zoom call with my mom, my brother and my sister here after a bit

just because things seem broken doesnt mean they are, and even if they are, it doesnt mean theyll be broken for long

We light these lights for the miracles and the wonders, for the redemption and the battles that you made for our forefathers, in those days at this season, through your Holy Priests. During all eight days of Hanukkah these lights are sacred, and we are not permitted to make ordinary use of them except for to look at them in order to express thanks and praise for these miracles, their wonders and our salvation. Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam, asher qiddeshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Chanukah.

until tomorrow

Shalom my friends

[uniqueanjol]

Simply unexpected prt.28

At around 5pm Julie comes in to prep for night shift. Her and her husband take over on weekdays whereas me and william typically run night shifts on busy or weekend nights. She walks in her mixed silver and purple hair pulled back into a ponytail. “MOM!” William squealed from the back running forward tackling her with an obnoxious hug. She brushes him off and looks around the building “What did you do?” she questions him grabbing her apron from behind the bar. He sits on the bar table, and she turns to me giving me a soft warm hug, “oh Mabel I am so glad you handle him in the morings.” she laughs releasing her grip than looking up and over at the table Grace is typing away at. “Is that the drunkie from the other night?” she looks at me. “No, that's Mable’s lady friend.” William pitches in from the background. She squints,pushing her lips, her tone in question, “no.. I think that's the same girl.” I laugh, “She.. She was having a rough day, she's actually really cool.” Julie’s eyes narrow down and stare into my soul, my nerves jump. “So you guys are friends now?” My cheeks feel warm, “yeah.” Looking over Grace is obviously working.

Julie's face went from questioning to a devilish smile, “ Oh really? well, she has good taste in art. I’ll give her that.” Confused, I raise my finger weakly in question, “huh?” Julie points to the back wall I had painted my first few years of being here. “She came in Gawking over your wall. I told her it was you and looks like she snuffed you out quick.” I pause looking over at her watching her write. I hadn’t noticed but she placed herself directly facing my painting. I look back at Julie who is giving me a side eye. “She liked my art? You told her I did it?” Julie nods, “of course kiddo! I tell everyone that's your art and you should have seen her. She choked when I told her it was you I had no Idea you guys were friends.” Embarrassment and slight anxiety filtered in my stomach. For some reason I craved her approval and knowing that she's seen my art and knows it's mine… makes me feel vulnerable, I’m now open to her judgment. It wouldn't be so bad if Julie didn't say “EVERYONE” even those who didn’t, liked my art. Something so dumb to worry about, but suddenly I felt naked.

I snap out of my thoughts to a small thump on the bar top, “ Hey!” I turn and Grace stands there, eyes glittering with a bright smile. “I don’t mean to bother you guys, but..” She paused looking down at Julie's chest searching for a name tag. “Uh- Julie?.. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the other night and I thank you for helping Mable get me home.” Julie nodded with a smile, “No problem!” she waves her hand loosely. “I assume you and our “sweeeet Mable syrup are acquainted?” She asks, giving pouty lips, pinching my cheeks with her fingers. She acts like a second hand mom attempting to embarrass me. Grace nods hoisting herself up onto the bar stool, “Oh yeah! I wouldn’t say she's sweet though,” She smirks giving me a quick wink then bursting out to a small chuckle looking back at Julie.

It’s clear she's picked up on the dynamic me and my boss share. “Ahh, I see she's given you some of her attitude too. Yeah she can definitely be an ass when she needs to be.” Grace laughs, “tell me about it, I’ve only known her for a few days and she’s already given me hell.” I shake my hand forward, making myself a part of their conversation. “Hold on you deserved it! I wouldn’t just give you hell for no reason.” Grace laughs leaning forward on the table, her shoulders press forward shedding exposure to her cleavage. My eyes drift down spotting small bits of glitter that sparkle tastefully among her fair sink and three white gems pierced into her skin. I panic and quickly shoot my gaze to the ceiling. “I never said it was for no reason, I also never said I didn’t appreciate it. I thank you for being exactly who you are.” Her eyes lay softly in my direction, she looked up at me with an admiral smile, she made it seem like there was no one else around to even distract her from me. She made it clear that she was looking at who I was; even though she barely knew me.

No one had ever looked at me like that before. I Nod, “well, I can’t be anyone else. “ a nervous laugh falls through my lips as she stands from the stool hoisting herself off with a little jump. “Well It was nice seeing you guys and thank all of you for letting me be here.” She pauses and looks around, gripping her laptop and Jacket to her chest. “Is it okay if I come back here to write again during the week?” This was clearly a question for Julie but I answered first before even thinking. “Yes!” She makes a small dancing wiggle and jumps in excitement, “thank you!” and walks out the door. Immediately I can feel eyes drilling to the back of my head. I had some explaining to do.

Simply unexpected prt. 28

The bell dings letting us know someone has left the building. And I turn to a crossed arm Julie and a cockheaded William. They have the same green eyes and both penetrate my soul. Sweat dripped down my neck. “What was that?” Julie raised an eyebrow. Laughter breaks from Will, “You think that was a trip, you should have seen her all morning! This bitch didn’t yell at me once! And she broke the cup. Not me.” Julie begins to laugh, clapping her hand on my shoulder, “our Mable baby finally has a crush!” I step back, placing my hand over hers. “ Jules,” I take a deep breath, “it’s not that serious. She’s cool, she’s cute… but. She’s… a friend.” The words scrape my throat like glass as they slip from my lips, friend. Will jumps off the counter. “ Mable you beautiful dumbass, that… is a crush. Mom has it right, she may be a friend now but, play your cards right and there’s potential.” He winks, “do it fast or I’ll take her.” Without a second of hesitation I shove his arm. “ Hell no!” Embarrassed, I pull back. The thought of her and William made my heart cringe. “No she’s gay, and besides you have Dom.” His emerald eyes roll to the back of his head and his posture drops. “Dom… is crazy, I love her but she tried to buy another damn cat! I said no, it was this whole big deal and now we're not talking… AGAIN!”

The shift of heat made me relax. “ cats are cool though. You know next week you guys are gonna be all over one another again.” Julie shakes her head in agreement and we spend the rest of our shift talking about nonsense town gossip. As we talk Graces eyes stay firmly planted in my head. Not just her eyes but the way she looked at me in that moment. Something about seeing her relaxed, interacting with more than just me drew me to her even further. She was a light I wanted to be surrounded in. I was a sunflower craving her rays of warm sunshine. It drove me crazy, yeah you see a cute girl you shoot your shot. But this, this was more than a shot fired this was a connection something I felt so suddenly. I can see she’s wrapped in personal history and written with stories that I wanted to read, I just want to know her.

My thoughts wander until the end of my shift and I hit the minimart before heading home, I used up the last of my chicken at Grace‘s house. It doesn't take long before I’m greeted by frantic waving hands to my face. “Mable!” My name yelled and elongated with exaggeration. I place my hand to the center of doms forehead as she leans forward into my palm pretending to march forward and fight me. Rolling my eyes I laugh, “what has gotten you riled up?” She drops her arms her posture following, “you didn’t tell ANNNYYYTHING!” dropping my hand I step back, “huh? What do you mean?” She crosses her arm offended, “the girl! You better thank me for saying yes by the way.” Confusion drew itself all over my face, “What are you talking about?” She frowns her brows and looks down, now confused as well. “She came in today and asked me yes or no to going to see you at work! Did that not happen? Is she just a creepy stalker and I fucked up?” She begins to panic. Finally I realize what she is talking about, “Oh… I assume you ran into Grace?”

Her hand shot up pointing her finger at me. “That's her name!” she paused, “long black hair, kinda scary but in a good way?” I nod my head and laugh, “yeah, that’s Grace. She’s interesting, that's for sure.” Dom sighs and walks with me down the issal to the frozen chicken. “Mable… that’s it? ‘She's interesting?” come on, there has to be more than that.” she waves her hands as she talks and I look down at my choice of dismembered chicken carcass. I make my selection, “there is. There's actually a lot, she's more than just interesting. She’s complex there's layers that are bare and open for everyone to see but impossible to peel back. She’s… stressful.. And I like it.” Dom steps behind the counter scanning my chicken. “I feel like stress isn’t the word you are looking for.” She hands me my receipt and I lean onto the counter. “No, it’s the right word, I can’t ‘not’ think about someone I barely know.” I cup my head into my hands, “It’s dumb, It’s a dumb crush thats going to be over in a week, i’m boring and shes… chaotic, I mean you’ve seen her. Shes probably only interested because im the only other lesbian for miles.” Dom wraps her blond hair into a large messy bun,” Orrrrrr, you just over think. This is the first time I've EVER seen you try for anyones attention. Most of the time you try not to be seen or when you are noticed, you... kinda lightly slam them into the floor with a blank stare up and down and a ‘no thanks’. She laughs, “it’s kind of savage i’m not gonna lie.”

Heh, “I guess you’re right. I’ll text you when I get home alright.” She rolls her eyes, “fine. Don't over think! Love you!” I walk out the store and get in my car, how was I not supposed to over think? Ding! My phone buzzed and I looked down and the light up notification.

** Simply unexpected episode 29 UP!**

“Damn. She writes fast

[lukeyhughes]

so the other day i reblogged a post and vagued about my issues with gk’s framing of iraqi tragedies in the tags, which was then replied to and that reply was circulated. while the reply was awesome/insightful/interesting i feel like my original point sorta got lost in the shuffle. i wasnt going to make a post about this for a bit but i feel like its been consuming my thoughts all day so i’ll elaborate what i meant under the cut! 

gen kill is david simon show, so like all david simon shows the thesis is “people exist in inside of a broken system.” in this case, the broken system is the marine corps chain of command and the people are the marines who have to carry out senseless orders. this is shown in many ways, including pointless dangerous missions (see: the bridge, danger close, etc.), how capable enlisted men are vs. most officers, how the “only good officer” nate is punished for rational choices, and how the marines have their spirits crushed because they are forced to senselessly kill iraqi civilians.

when i was in first year of undergrad i took an african studies class that in one seminar problematicized coverage of the Rwandan Genocide: how many times have you heard/read a Romeo Dallaire interview/account? how many times have you read/heard an interview from a genocide survivor? how many times have you seen pictures of bodies/skulls of genocide victims? the answer for the average person is a lot, hardly ever, a lot. with the iraq invasion, the questions would be: how many times have you heard the accounts of coalition soldiers about the iraq war across media types? how many times have you heard accounts of it from the iraqi civilian perspective? how many times have you seen statistics regarding the amount of iraqi civilian casualties? a lot, hardly ever, a lot.

that is all to say that in western media/society we are very comfortable listening to white narratives and just seeing brown bodies, which translates into only hearing white narratives of the tragedies of the deaths of others in foreign countries. in generation kill, iraqi civilian casualties/fatalities/tragedies are framed so that we feel sympathy for the marines that caused them as opposed to those suffering. that is not to say that we as the audience do not feel sympathy (i certainly do!) but it is because of our own internal empathy, not the narrative framing of the show.

let’s take a look at three of the biggest cases of iraqi civilian tragedy and how they’re framed in the show:

first, when rudy goes up to the roadblock and sees the dead little girl in episode 4. we get quite a few shots of the father’s shell-shocked face, but just as many are shots of rudy’s horror/sadness; we watch him walk away from behind from rudy’s perspective and we see that rudy is unable to look away from them. rudy didn’t actually have anything to do with it (aside from abetting i suppose), but even when he gets back to camp the show makes sure to illustrate how affected by it he is, ignoring brad and ray who call out to him. this one is actually surprisingly gk’s best example of eliciting sympathy for iraqi casualties; however, the focus of the scene is still on rudy and the father’s reaction is still mostly used to contribute to rudy’s guilt/horror.

the next scene is the little shepherd boys who were shot by trombley while out with their camels. we see the mom crying over her son, but its basically background noise and is if anything used to further the marines’ (particularly brad and doc bryan to a lesser extent) guilt at causing the situation. we know this because her actions don’t exist independently: they are used for the marines to react to. we also get considerably more shots of marines looking on in horror than her crying about her son. brad’s guilt/sadness about the subject is dwelled on for about twenty minutes over the next two episodes, longer than any of the actual victims’ screen-time dedicated to their feelings combined.

the worst scene is the man in the white car, which sets off the main drama for the next episode. we get why walt did it- the show goes out of its way to make sure that we do- but at the end of the day a man is still dead, likely for no reason. in the aftermath we get about a hundred heartbreaking shots of walt’s shocked face, with a few of brad thrown in as well. on the other hand, we get no shots of the people in the car being horrified at seeing someone they know lobotomized. we just see them run away, no sadness no horror no nothing: from the show’s narrative perspective, this man’s death has no impact on anybody except for walt and the other marines. to make matters worse the man’s face is only shown when the marines notice how horrifyingly disfigured his body is; to me this is robbing the real man of his dignity even in death. 

let’s take a step back and look at gen kill’s general portrayal of iraqis. we don’t really get to see the marines interact with civilians until they reach baghdad when they go into rundown neighbourhoods. here, the iraqi men are portrayed as greedy and dumb, cutting in front of children and not understanding that there are other types of government. that’s not to say that that didn’t happen in real life- i’m sure it did- but it’s essentially the ONLY view of iraq civilians we get: ignorant, greedy, backwards, etc. deadass the only sympathetic iraqi characters in episode 7 are children, where we get a couple of UNICEF-esque shots of doc bryan holding crying kids to drive home that guilt factor. i bring this up because it means that the iraqi characters are not written so that you feel bad for them or empathize with their terrible situation. instead, the narrative wants you to empathize with the marines (in this case, particularly nate) who feel guilty for causing this chaos that they can’t do anything to fix it. 

the only other time iraqi civilians even have lines is when a refugee women tells brad about how he is destroying her home, but even then the point of that isn’t really her pain but how brad feels guilty/ashamed about what the usmc (an institution that is part of identity more than anyone else) is doing that; also she’s attacking brad who really had nothing to do with the baghdad situation and already feels guilty about other things, so its just creating more material for brad’s identity/guilt crisis and our sympathies for it.

all of this to say is that in basically every single case civilian tragedies don’t exist in the narrative on their own: they are used for the marine main characters to react to: the village. the truck crew. the men at the roadside. even the syrian student.

also @sunnygreys replied to some tags i made alluding to this issue. you should read what they wrote bc it’s a really interesting counterweight to what i’m saying and offers a different perspective. but anyway basically they mention certain lines where people are like “no ones forcing us to be here.” particularly notable was when godfather says that no one is forced to be here because they’re all volunteers in episode 3. my view of this has always been that saying that is ignorance on his part and another symptom of the broken command system. godfather chose to be career military,  he chose to accept the mission, he chose to change the ROE, etc: there was no gun to his head. for the enlisted men, the ones on the bottom who actually carried out the mission that injured the boys, they are pretty much being forced to be there by their circumstances. out of all the marines we interact with in the series, im pretty sure brad is the only enlisted man who comes from wealth and by extension had other options, while most others either implicitly or explicitly grew up in impoverished/unstable households: poverty is the new draft. thats sorta between the lines, but i imagine david simon knows that because of his previous work on poverty. what isnt between the lines is that the command system DOES force men in lower ranks to “be there” and carry out order: they can get NJPed for disobeying, they sign contracts that they’ll be dishonourably discharged and lose their benefits if they break, etc. there’s no gun to their head physically but metaphorically its pretty close. to me at least, those lines are not narratively placed to make us sympathize less with the marine main characters but instead to make us sympathize with them even more, because it shows how disconnected command really is. david simon is a huge dick irl but he’s a really clever writer.

again, i reiterate that we as the audience likely feel sympathy for the iraqi population because for most people its naturally sad when people die/get injured/etc. i think a lot of points i made and ones made by @sunnygreys can be mutually true, but the main difference being that i really don’t believe that gk’s intention was to make us step back and reflect on our sympathy with the “oppressors:” i really do think that’s who the show intends for us to sympathize with most based on their choices in camera shots, who says what, etc. that doesn’t mean we can’t step back and reflect, as i hope many of us have, i just think that was an unintended consequence. (if i’m misconstruing what you said please lmk and ill edit!)

that being said, can’t think of a way that generation kill could have done better in this regard based on the book/characters it had. the marines ARE the main characters and by conventional standards its their narrative/feelings/growth that matters. but just because there may have been no other way doesn’t make it unproblematic. its another example of western media using violence against nameless, distant foreigners for their own horror. 

there are people wandering this earth who are dealing with the loss of the man in the white car, the little girl at the roadblock, an entire village. those little boys, if they’re still alive, probably have to deal with the severe injuries they got when they were shot by marines. those slums of baghdad may still be in unstable today and have likely lost community members due to sanitation/hunger/violence. imagine knowing that there is a show out there where you or your loved ones are being used as a plot device to make viewers feel sympathy for the ones who put you in those positions. i sympathize deeply with the marines of GK, but i can imagine how hard it would be to be in the iraqi population’s place watching yourself and your experiences interpreted in a way dissociated from your own suffering so that the primary victimhood can be placed on the ones who did it to you. 

in conclusion, i love gen kill a lot. i love the story and the characters, and i think its an effective story in terms of achieving what it seeks to achieve. i think it’s okay to love something and be critical of it. also if western media companies weren’t cowards and weren’t scared of losing american military financial contributions they would make a miniseries about the iraqi people who were terrorized by american invaders, including the ones we love in gk!

[illusionlockarchive]

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick! 

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

[albapuella]

Urges

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck Summary:  When Dave finally gives into his urges, what will Karkat do?

Tags: Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline, davekat, pov switches galore, present tense CW:  CW: hand holding, hugging, nose kisses Author’s Note:  This is a fic that I wrote in about two hours for the davekat thirst federation server after they were all being Caliborn thirsty on the main. Please note the content tags--if you're up (heh) for all this spiciness, read on. I thought result was worth sharing with the masses. Enjoy!

Dave is walking beside Karkat, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Karkat's dangling hand, the lax fingers calling out to be--

No. No, he couldn't. He shouldn’t. And yet... He tilts his head ever so slightly to see Karkat's hand better. The curve of the fingers. The tips of his yellowed claws. The thick, meaty curve of his gray palm. What would it feel like to--

Dave feels his face go hot.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"oh yea of course dude but youre still wrong about dane cook"

Karkat rolls his eyes but accepts the answer before launching into another diatribe Dave can't be bothered to listen to when Karkat's hand is dangling so invitingly by his side.

He can't. He shouldn't.

Before he can stop himself, he reaches out for Karkat's hand, the warmth of it beneath his fingers even more wonderful than he'd thought it be. His fingers wrap around Karkat's stiff startled ones; their palms meet.

---

Karkat is walking beside Dave, going into detail about the superiority of the comic stylings of Dane Cook, when he feels another hand grabbing his own. It's so sudden, he hardly knows how to react even as he feels fingers intertwining with his own.

He stops walking. His throat is dry and he swallows hard before turning his head. There's only one person who can be holding his hand, but it's impossible. Dave's not interested in him. Not like *that*.

But he turns and looks. Pale fingers interlaced with his own gray, leading up to an arm clad in red God Tier pajamas. A shoulder connected to a neck. A neck to a face.

At least Dave has the decency to be blushing, too. He doesn't have the decency to actually look in Karkat's direction. Instead, he squeezes Karkat's hand.

"DAVE?"

Dave is silent. Then he turns his head, the smallest hint of a smile curving his thin lips. "sup"

---

Karkat says his name, and it's not a rejection. It's not a rejection, but it's a question. Karkat's face is flushed but confused. He isn't trying to pull his hand free, but he isn't returning the gesture.

Dave is worried now, worried he's pushed too far too quickly. He has to do something. He smiles, trying to ignore the nervous flutters in his chest. "sup"

Karkat scowls. "WHY-WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY HAND, DIPSHIT?" The stutter tells Dave he's as affected as Dave is, and despite the harshness of the words, he still allows his hand to remain in Dave's grasp.

Dave feels a swell of hope. "it was asking to be held dude i dont make the rules" He shouldn't. He's done too much already. But Karkat's so close now, his yellow and gray eyes wide. Dave can see himself reflected in his dark pupils.

Feeling reckless, Dave uses his free hand to lift up his glasses so he can see Karkat in full light. His eyes are even more beautiful without the dingy, gray haze.

---

Dave pushes his stupid douche shades up, leaving them up in his blonde hair. Karkat isn't certain what is more incredible: that Dave is still still holding his hand or that Dave has willingly, of his own accord, allowed Karkat to see his eyes.

Karkat has seen them before, of course. He's caught glimpses of them from the corner of Dave's shades. Seen flashes of them when they've been knocked askew. But he's never been given the opportunity to really look at them. Certainly, Dave's never let him look.

He's so lost in the moment, he's speaking before he can censor himself. "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."

Dave ducks his head, his flush traveling down his neck. He holds Karkat's hand a little tighter. "thank you" he says in an awkward way that tells Karkat Dave doesn't get many compliments. "im gonna get crazy here so hear me out" He takes a deep breath. "can i... can i--" He's turned his body to face Karkat's head on. "i wanna hug you can that happen"

For once in his life, Karkat takes initiative. Before Dave is even quite done speaking, he's closed the space between them, wrapping his free arm around Dave's middle.

Dave makes a startled sound but recovers quickly, and almost too quickly, Dave's arm is wrapped around Karkat's middle, too. Their entwined hands loosen and separate, allowing those arms to join the hug as well.

Karkat smells soap and a hint of sweat. And it's warm, so warm. The only hugs Karkat had ever had, had ever endured, had been cold. He'd never hugged Aradia, but he knows that even her embrace would have been cool. But Dave is warm.

He sighs against the other boy's shoulder, relaxing further into Dave's arms. He feels breath on his cheek; it smells like coffee.

This can't last forever, Karkat knows this. He knows that this experiment of Dave's will end, but he can enjoy it while it lasts.

---

For what feels like the longest time, Dave can only marvel at the fact that Karkat is in his arms. The troll boy is hugging him, pressing against him, as relaxed as Dave has ever seen him be. Dave feels a rush of pride that Karkat trusts him enough for this. He feels a rush of shame that he waited so long to ask for this.

He tightens his hold on Karkat as though that will keep this moment from ending.

His face is close, so close to Karkat's.

Dave has never been good at knowing when to quit. He's never known when to be satisfied. He brings his face that much closer to Karkat's, brings his nose closer to the gray nose.

They touch. Dave moves his head and gently rubs his nose against Karkat's.

---

Karkat doesn't react at first. He's mostly confused about what the fuck Dave is up to. As far as he can tell, Dave is rubbing his nose with his own nose. It's not unpleasant, just unfamiliar. It feels... it feels intimate.

He closes his eyes, wishing Dave would stop, wishing that he wouldn't. What is Dave getting out of this? Is Karkat just convenient or--

There is no or. Dave wanted to do this with someone, and Karkat is someone. That's it. He ducks his head away from Dave's, burying it into his shoulder.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WITH ME?"

Dave stills. Then he says, "i want to man thought i was making that pretty obvious" He chuckles, his chin pressing into Karkat's own shoulder. "karkat youre pretty baller you know"

He'd never thought Dave would be so good at acting.

---

Dave isn't expecting it when Karkat pushes away from him with a rough shove. "karkat--?"

Karkat's mouth is twisted into a vicious snarl even as his eyes fill with ruddy tears. "FUCK YOU, DAVE." He wipes the tears away with trembling fists. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE ME, AT LEAST DO ME THE FUCKING COURTESY OF NOT LYING TO MY FACE ABOUT IT."

"what" Dave is utterly lost.

"DON'T 'what' ME, ASSHOLE." He crosses his arms, the anger on his face crumbling into a hurt that stabs Dave in the gut. "I ONLY HAVE A PASSING UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT 'BALLER' MEANS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME. SO, DO ME A FAVOR, AND STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE."

Dave has spent enough time with Karkat to tell when he's about to bolt, and Dave can't let him go until he clears this up. He grabs Karkat's hand again. "dude karkat listen to me im not lying" To his relief, Karkat doesn't pull his hand away. To his worry, Karkat folds in on himself, his head bowing and his shoulders slumping.

"I'M PAN ADDLED ENOUGH TO LET YOU TAKE WHAT YOU WANT," Karkat says, sounding defeated. "JUST DON'T PRETEND YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ME. I DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK."

---

Karkat can't look at Dave now, too embarrassed, too desperate. He should have just kept his mouth shut for once. Should have just enjoyed what little scraps Dave was willing to throw him. Dave is still holding his hand.

"i want you to listen to me" Dave is saying, his voice soft. His other hand strokes the top of Karkat's knuckles as he speaks. "im not using you thats hella gross and id be all kinds of insulted that youd think that but i dont want to make this about me when its about you" Karkat hears him take a deep breath. "im gonna lay it on the line ok i like like you a lot."

"YOU LIKE LIKE ME?" Karkat hates himself for the hope in his voice. He's not entirely certain what "like like"ing means, but he's gathered it's more than being hate-friends. Yes, he and Dave have been getting along better, but he knows Dave only tolerates him because they're both lonely. That's all.

"yea like we're peak middle school up in here passing notes to each other," Dave is clearly gearing up for a ramble, and Karkat smiles despite himself, "do you like me or like like me but weve got to keep it on the downlow so the teacher doesnt notice and find our note because our reps will never survive if she reads it to the class and she will because thats how teachers roll"

"I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE CLUSTERFUCK YOU HUMANS CALL AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM," Karkat says and, for a moment, it's like nothing's changed. Then reality falls in again. "YOU MEAN THAT?" He is such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot.

---

The way Karkat asks Dave if he means what he says is almost enough to break him. If he weren't such a stone cold bad-ass, he's certain he'd be bawling now, too. Even so, he wishes he could put his shades back down without Karkat thinking he's hiding his eyes so he can lie better.

"yea dog i mean it i dont lie about important shit."

Karkat has always been an open book, emotions-wise. It'd probably be more helpful if Dave were better at emotions himself, but he can see that Karkat wants to believe him. It's something. "we dont gotta do anything different if you dont want im chill just hanging with you," he says, hoping against hope it doesn't come to that: he wants to hug Karkat again, and he hopes the troll boy will let him. "but i want to... i want to hug you because youre you youre like special ok"

A disbelieving huff. "YOU THINK I'M SPECIAL."

Dave nods. "karkat vantas is totally one of a kind" Well, that just isn't true, is it? "i mean there are a fuck ton of you out there in the dream bubbles but i meant more like metaphorically in that this version of you is the you im interested in hugging and stuff"

---

Karkat almost can't believe how charmed he is by this idiot. Almost. Maybe Dave is lying, but maybe Karkat isn't being fair. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks maybe that's true. Considering what he was accusing Dave of wanting to do, he's fairly floored that the human boy still wants anything to do with him.

He looks down at his hand still held between both of Dave's. Then he looks up at Dave's face, at his still uncovered eyes, and makes a decision. "OKAY."

Dave blinks. "ok" The corner of his mouth quirks upwards. "ok"

Karkat rolls his eyes. "YES, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. I'M GLAD THAT YOUR AURAL CLOTS ARE STILL FULLY FUNCTIONAL."

"you have got the weirdest names for things you know that just say ears its so much shorter"

Before he can come up with a suitably scathing remark, he's being hugged again.

Oh.

He sighs and returns the hug. He could get used to this. He thinks he already is.

FIN

End Note:  Sorry. I could not add in the kissing--it was just too lewd.

[watcher-unsolved]

i felt the same way about todays episode tbh- like i thought it was just me because ive been watching a lot more watcher lately so i thought i just forgot that bfu has a slightly different vibe but something did feel kinda off. i think maybe the best thing to do here is just wait for the next couple episodes and see if it keeps feeling like this or if it goes back to normal but idk im new to this this is the first bfu episode thats come out since i started watching them

yeah it was definitely a little off..

i was just scrolling thru the bfu:tc/bfu tags to see if anyone else was mentioning it but i didnt see anything so i was legit about to delete that post until you sent this in so now i know im not crazy 😅

ive been watching them for awhile now and honestly i cant really tell if they had become a little more forced throughout the eps but we never noticed it because the changes were so subtle over time or if its just weird to be back watching bfu after there hasnt been any eps for a bit. watcher definitely has allowed them to really deep dive into what content they want to create and the space they want to make on the internet... i think maybe just buzzfeed as a company is just a bit.. erm,, for lack of better term, problematic, and possibly it may be that because of the popularity of the show and the attention it has picked up over the years they kinda have to finish it out?

im not sure. i dont wanna push what i personally think onto what is reality because honestly thats just my perspective on it and it may just be so that it couldnt be further from the truth. maybe its just weird energy having returned to bfu after such a long break, doing a second true crime season in a row, and actually getting out of the damn house and back on a set! either way im sure it will be a great season as always 🙃

anyway its 1:36am what am i even saying lol