#<- well. tumblr dms actually but im putting it in the tag anyway.

[cemeterything]

got told i looked like a tiktoker by a stranger today because i was wearing ripped jeans with fishnets and bat wing eyeliner and almost let the rage and fury overcome me. does ebony dark'ness dementia raven way mean nothing to you prepz.

[catta1ll]

You're absolutely obnoxious. Did you ever ask Yoyle to stop? Instead, you're vaguing about them and putting it IN the tag as well? Stop trying to start stupid fandom wank and block them, you're not the innocent one here. Don't think I don't see you complaining and naming them in tags in other posts. That's a form of harassment, too.

hiya there anon

yes i had asked yoyle to stop. i had even asked why they were doing this, and their only excuse was that it was a hyperfixation and never responded back

secondly, i was putting it in the tag for the rest of the geno artists to see. there have also been people contacted who don’t even know who geno is (a homestuck account and cherryfennec) and that’s really just a lack of boundaries.

i have done four separate posts about yoyle before bringing the situation to light, two vaguely and two direct. one of them was shock realizing the oc they had sent in my geno ask blog was actually a ship of their own. now, i have no problem with oc x canon, and that was a reaction of my own. that has nothing to do with the constant questions of repeated topics

i have talked with other tumblr users and people who browse the tag on discord, and they all felt the same way. the situation had gone dormant for too long, and i felt the need to address it publicly.

and now, about harassment; behavior that annoys or troubles someone

i haven’t insulted yoyle in anyway and have only discussed the fault that they’ve done, i have not been in their dms or any of the like. yoyle, however has been in multiple asks and accounts asking the same question. either with “geno sleeping, geno in pajamas, geno as a mermaid” to name the more prominent ones

im not trying to start anything either, again this has been a dormant issue and no one had spoken about it, it was about time someone did

if this explanation wasn’t enough for you feel free to keep asking, or maybe a simple block would do just fine so we can both go along our way

thanks 4 listening to my ted talk

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

referencing the last reblog so i don’t end up writing a mcfreakin novel in the poor person’s notes:

because god it really sucks holding it all in. my therapist is cool but it’s hard to explain some of these things that bother me to someone who isn’t as “online.” so i resort to posting about the things on my tumblr because it’s the closest i can get to talking about things to someone else without feeling as much of the guilt. idk my mind is an anomaly. speaking of guilt im putting a “read more” here now because this dumb thing’s getting long and now im thinking about the things that have bothered me that idk if i handled right and i don’t want to subject others to seeing it if they don’t want to.

ALSO i think im going to tag my random posts that i make when im having sad bad brain times with “trash rants” so please feel free to block that tag as needed!

the following is essentially about being in a discord server that had both minors (15+) and adults in it and the complications i had in that environment.

one thing that happened a while ago involved a situation within a fandom discord server that idk how tf to even explain the situation to a professional without feeling like an idiot. an adult artist had a character that other people in the server liked. one time that person posted something they drew of that character topless with a message about how boobs shouldn’t be sexual which is absolutely right. but then the others + the artist started making comments about the character’s boobs that i became very confused with how to interpret. my brain was like “are the intent of these comments to be suggestive/sexual in nature or am i being an ignorant asshole for interpreting them as such and it’s because i’m being the problem and seeing boobs themselves as a sexual?” it was even more complicated because the people involved in making these comments were underage. it got even even more complicated because then some of these underage people started drawing the character topless with more comments that i didn’t know how to interpret. one of these people at some point told the original artist that they would privately dm them the more nsfw drawings they were doing. and everyone seemed to be having a good time going “BOOBS 👀👀” and all that and the channel was going crazy. but i was getting so uncomfortable and confused. and i felt like such an asshole. because i like boobs too and society shouldn’t see them as something inherently sexual. but the underage folk being involved made it so complicated for my brain. because if some random person not involved with the server looked in on what was happening, couldn’t it be seen as minors making and sending an adult nsfw art? even though it was very likely NOT the intention of the original artist.

what i ended up doing was bringing my concerns to the server owner, which was responded well to. a rule was put in place about sharing nsfw stuff. but i felt so guilty about it. i felt like i was being a party pooper and ruining people’s fun. i still wasn’t sure if i was even doing the right thing and if it was a problem within me and not with what happened. i was born into a conservative religious background so it was only when i became more independent and was allowed access to the internet that i got to start to unlearn the bad things that were taught to me. that background is something i’m trying so hard to separate myself from, but it’s something that i’m afraid will haunt me. was what happened in the server not actually a problem, and it was because my brain wants to do the bad society thing and interpret boobs as sexual? did i ruin everyone’s fun because i’m just an ignorant asshole who got uncomfy at something i shouldn’t be getting uncomfy about? i still don’t know. anyway, i ended up leaving the server because i just couldn’t enjoy it anymore. once in a while that original artist’s stuff pops up naturally in my feed because we’re still in the same fandom, but i can’t even look at their art or even their name without feeling all the confusion and guilt again. which i feel terrible about because they seemed like a really nice person and they’re a great artist! and i really don’t think they had any bad intentions at all when that situation in the server happened. but i just can’t do it.

that situation was the first moment i truly realized just how scary it is and careful you have to be when you’re in an online environment where adults and minors can freely interact. it’s easy to forget ages when you’re just a profile picture, and how easy it can be to influence someone young, and how dangerous that is, whether your intentions are good or not. it made me realize that i don’t want to be in that type of server where you’re directly interacting with underage people. because i’m a fucking mess and i don’t know what the hell i’m doing 90% of the time. i don’t want to somehow mess up a kid! even if it’s an accident i didn’t want to risk having that accident happen in the first place. it’s one of the reasons why i can’t bring myself to ever draw and post nsfw art anywhere either. i just feel so uncomfortable about it. to me it’s fine if others do it if they’re doing it in a safe way with the necessary precautions, and they shouldn’t feel shame in it! it’s just not something i feel comfortable doing myself.

jfc im so sorry if anyone actually read this far. this whole thing is so stupid. i wish i didnt let it bother me for so long. there are a lot of stupid things that my brain wastes time worrying about. maybe writing all this down will help me explain it to someone on the “outside” who can tell me how to stop it. i don’t know.

[bigstupiddummie]

making a post in the tags to “call out” a person is so dumb and childish and stupid, so i won’t put this in there. however, the admin of @wavehq is full lying on my name these days even though i haven’t talked to them or anyone else involved in there in like 6mos. and i rly want them to stop.

i don’t have my old discord account w ss. if anyone else has ss with me in them, u can add them to this post idc how ugly it makes me look. i talked a LOT of shit ( and pertaining to this story, about sel esp ) and called ppl some nasty names and any ss will incriminate me of that. so me talking shit isn’t a ‘gotcha’ anymore. i talked shit and called sel names, as well as k, and i know sel called me names, and im sure everyone else did too. whatevs.

yk what i never did ? i never made a “manifesto” about my ex friend, or priv-retweeted their personal ooc twitter account to mock them. i never helped create and work on an rpt blog, then went and consoled the person being mentioned in nasty messages in the blog on some “oh im so sorry this is happening to you ˙◠˙” shit when it was them the whole time. the worst i did was “fuck her, he’s a cunt, fuck them”, but dream, you lied to me a Lot!

and you’re lying in defending yourself by saying i “heavily hate” sid or anyone. i never have, never did, never will. the last thing i said to sid in like July was “hey, heres my ooc tiktok, im deleting discord. if i never hear from you again, take care.” and then i left rp and the rpc entirely. haven’t talked to or even perceived any of you in months.

you want to believe i’m “bringing this up now” to start stuff or something, but what stakes do i have in any of this? you and yours drove me out of the hobby i’ve loved since i was 12, used an rpt blog to force me to defend myself against your ugly claims at a time you Knew well and good i was absent and dealing with a family death ( and then came in my dms to comfort me ??? you and k both. ) . i lost all of my best friends of several years. trust me, i want no part of the rpc anymore. i don’t want back in. i don’t want to engage. this is a nothing tumblr account that ill never use again. consider, instead, that another person close to the situation and i shared similar experiences and realized there were too many untruths and inconsistencies to let it rest, rather than just ‘starting stuff’ to start stuff.

“sid says steph crops screenshots to make them look incriminating” aye , but i definitely gave my entire discord login out, more than once, and encouraged my friend at the time to go ahead and look for themselves ( they declined at the time. i can still give the login i really do not care. though idk if the login will work anymore bc the accounts been deactivated for, uh, 6 months.) i cropped ss where earthp members were telling me how K is making them uncomfortable and how they were worried lenny was being dragged around by K, that i did do. and i STILL let k know that that’s what they were saying. i can’t stress enough ive got Nothing here that im fighting for i just think its ugly to lie for so long to everyone

“steph heavily hates sid” i do not. note the last thing i said to sid, up there ^. we did follow each other on tiktok then, and then we didn’t speak for 6 months. as of this morning, we are no longer tiktok mutuals - so it goes. sid never owed me anything. i don’t hate them. they know ( and yk what, so do my irl work managers!!! bc this shit affected my actual real mental health!!! ) that the day things went down, i left work early sobbing full blown emotional episode, writing paragraphs in desperation, to the point of overwhelming them and myself. i loved them dearly, called them my ‘spouse’ and best friend everyday, etc. though i don’t know now if they knew more about you than they let on. anyway……. please don’t just be declaring shit about me like it’s fact ?? i don’t hate anyone. not even you dream! just stop lyinggggg i hate that

ye all made me feel like i was crazy and losing myself in my own paranoia omg??? and ye were in your private chats afterward going “well deserved!!!” who even are you what did i do to you omgggg are we not in our late 20s with lives and careers ?????

if this is all bc of heddie/reddie and avengefm ? its ships dude it’s dolls it’s not real and to commit so much energy and emotion to lying to protect ur ships/rps is troubling at best. and if its not about heddie/reddie, then i haven’t a NOTION bc you and i, even when we were friendly w each other, were not close enough to create a bond to break??? i didnt do anything to you but welcome you into my writing spaces and engage in yours to the best of my ability. i was transparent with you when my activity struggled or i needed a break for mental health reasons… but what you had done with your friends is what ruined my mental health ?… go figure ….

i know who was behind that blog because they came clean and told me your connection to it as well. i know sel said nasty things about me too - we’re human and humans love talking shit. but no one else ever took it as far as you did, dream.

i don’t want anything from you! just stop lying on my name i don’t “heavily hate” anyone. outside of my shit talking from 6mos ago, i haven’t said a word against anyone but yourself; i’ve called you a liar, here in this post, because that is what i believe you are.

nobody in my entire life brings up what happened in everwell more than you and k. i owned up to every part i had ( whether directly or by my unavailability, all of it ), i deplatformed and cut out my two best friends ( people i had had in my HOME and had met IRL they were real people to me!!!!! ) and apologized personally to everyone affected, while picking out a funeral outfit and consoling my crying family. these are all my cards on table. you don’t have to respond either. just omg quit lying about me and the way i feel and what my intentions are - if a mf wants to know what im thinking and feeling, they can just Ask me.

and k i don’t want anything from you either! your names in this post because you were involved, and you know your involvement with that blog and how you also came to console me after. outside of that, i do not think of you and do not care what you think of me.

sid, i don’t want anything from u all either and i meant it when i said if i never hear from you again, take care bc i did care for u lots and also invited you into my home bc you were a real person to me. just know for a fact that anything dream says i’m saying about you or feeling toward you is just pulled out of thin air for whatever reason.

i always thought ye all were great writers!!! and so did snags and lex, way back when it was about writing for the love of writing. i would say all the time “omg dream is so funny” “omg k is cracking me up”, and they’d agree. hell if they’re at all in the rpc anymore and see this - hey guys! sorry shit got so ugly. you’ll never guess who was behind it.

i left the rpc and got mental help. i hope ye can get some help too.

* this is dream bringing sel into the Issues and tying her directly to k, btw. you keep saying you didn’t bring sel into the k stuff, but “they’re besties” “she and sel” “they want peach to drop eddie so sel can pick up eddie” this is where we’re getting that from, bc you keep saying you only referenced sel’s activity and didn’t connect her to k at all. i cropped out sids response. i can add it if need be but it’s just sid believing you.

this is where i’m pulling what im referencing in this post from. the second half is censored bc it doesn’t have to do with me.

this is me texting my irl work manager on the day sid and i last spoke. i was distraught and emotional and crying but ok yeah i “heavily hate” sid when the way everything went down broke me to bits OKAYYY

the censored names are the names of my irl managers like it was So Serious so don’t try putting words in my mouth about sid.

[kingofdinosaurs]

3 6 8 9 12 14 24

feel free to answer however many of em you want for any media you're into (that I actually know)

sorry, unrelated, I just found out they let you DM people images now? What the fuck?

no yeah you can send people images now it rocks thank you for the bridge. going through all of them because im airport bored

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ok well the worst one EVER was someone saying they thought potemkin should have died in xrd IN THE TAG which was. fucking rude and also totally stupid. honourable mention to that time so long ago i barely remember how it happened when i saw a pokespe fan assert that "wally could never have done what emerald did!" hey why do you think that. when wally was literally in the oras version of the battle frontier (I know oras was out because that's how i was a fan of wally. is it because he's disabled. i want you to fucking say it.

6. already answered!

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

hmm... idk if it's even a common thing anymore because i avoid it like the plague but if i ever have to see "the knight doesn't have a mind or will" arguments again I'll like find whoever started it and put them in a jigsaw trap fuck you fuck you fuck you did you even play the game??? the delicate flower quest alone should be enough to prove you wrong. if the knight can't have its own agenda why the fuck would it go out of its way to do this small unnecessary kindness? also the narrative itself doesn't make sense if you assume the pale king is right about the knight, both in terms of "what was the fucking point then?" and because of the fucking. REASON THE KNIGHT CAME BACK TO HALLOWNEST. BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO HELP THEIR SIBLING. idk if this one is even common anymore but it was frustratingly common back in the day

9. worst part of canon

for persona there's so many choices i feel paralysed, as with blazblue, so I'll go with a wild card: dead cells! anyway anytime when someone acts like the beheaded is just cut and dry easy peasy The King like it can not be that fucking simple that's fucking stupid. he's literally the ship of theseus but a slime piloting around a headless corpse. like at this point you're just giving annoying youtubers ways to be more annoying quit itttttt

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

SYSTEMMMM i love system so fucking much I'm crazy about her. nobody gives a fuck about her because she's a relatively easy boss in a fighting game many people do not like (a crossover, no less!). but she fucking rocks so hard!!! she's so funny in every scene she's in, i really appreciate that about her. she's kind of like queen from deltarune if that helps anyone. it's not even hard to go watch like cross tag story mode it is literally all on youtube everyone who hasn't go meet her! she deserves some attention!

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

actually i can't lie i just like don't have it in me to trawl the fanfic mines anymore so idk what they're doing right now like it is No Longer my problem

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

oh god i have no clue. i don't get involved in arguments like this anymore for my health so i have no clue

[devilfic]

Hey its me again!!! I read your dm but for some reason i cant reply?? Like, i wrote and clicked the send button but my message just... disappeared??? Tumblr is so weird so uhhh im just gonna reply through here, if you dont mind!!!

First of all, you're welcome!!! Like i said in my previous ask, i have a very specific taste in fanfics so when i finally do find the stuff i like (which is rare), i always try to express how much i love it!! Because im just so thankful to have it!!! Also because i cant keep this giddy feeling to myself!!! Other than that, im also aware of how much these comments affect writers so yeah, its a win-win situation!!!

Anyway, you've been writing for 13 years?!?!?!?! Thats.... thats a really long time... no wonder you're so great!!! You've written for longer than my nephew has been living lol!!

Oh and im not sure if you've seen that i love that riddler fic too, but i just wanna say again that its just SO GOOD. Here's some of my fav parts that i forgot to put in my reblog tag!!

[You’ve acquired a shadow. He had stomped out the one you were born with and fit himself into its place.]

[You imagined what it would have been like to be Commissioner Savage in that rat trap, the agony of a thousand teeth tearing into the veins of your throat, all while this voice read you your sins.]

[“Have you given up on salvation already, detective? And after all our progress! Why, it’d be a shame if you accepted defeat so soon.” 

The mocking lilt to his voice does irk you a bit. “What do you expect me to do, exactly?”

“Lie.”

“He’s too smart for that.”

“Lie better. Isn’t that what your precious Lieutenant taught you to do before I dropped him in the harbor?”]

I just love how in the movie, the riddler's whole deal is like 'no more lies' but then in your fic he encourages reader to lie so like hfdsjgfsjh idk my brain loves it a lot!!! I thought eddie munson is the only one that can be on my mind right now, but you brought back my feelings for riddler and now i just dont know what to do with myself.... ugh... sorry this ask is getting very long... well then, here's an actual question: what is your process of writing?? like how does it usually go?? okay thats it, love you!!!

OOPS that’s my bad. I had dms turned off for blogs I don’t follow but I thought that got negated if I messaged the other blog first, sorry!! and that’s so very sweet of you!! I know some readers are a bit shy about commenting but yeah, it’s great to see. also oh boy, that makes me feel so old LMAO but yeah, it’s been quite a while. thank you ;-;

ALSO YES!! I’m happy you picked up on the way he switched up about lies. I really liked the idea of edward trying to do things differently, realizing he cannot necessarily purge the evil in gotham, but he can try to use it for his own benefit. he’s got this weird obsession with the reader’s guilt and sees himself as less of a executioner and more of a savior this time around. if I were to continue it, I probably would have talked more about the lore behind it but I had the idea that edward uses the reader as his sword in a way? and tries to prove to them that he’s right about the way he goes about punishing people.

and that’s a good question 🤔 I’ve had a habit of writing my stories chronologically. I start with an idea, then I try to find a good beginning and end, and then feel out if I can write a good middle. I never do outlines unless I have a lot of ideas or I’m planning on writing more parts.

then I just sit down and literally write everything from the title to the ending in order akdhsks (of course editing comes into play later, and I end up changing things, but I like being able to follow the story from start to finish). I’ve never been a… scene by scene person sndhsjs

[juuls]

Podfics, podfics, podfics...

I'm looking to do some podfics of fics that have really hit me in strong (good) ways, and they're one of those I can't seem to track down in my usual manner (which is... probably on purpose, considering their received comments are set to be moderated and that they likely put up with a toooon of bullshit from people with Opinions.

(Keep reading to see which fics I'd love to podfic and why, and how you can help me find them!)

Also. Recs. Lots of really awesome fic recs, specifically for Tony-centric readers and those who really hit it off with Civil War Team Iron Man!

Does anyone know the Tumblr or Discord of: @TheSovereignofReality or @Wix from AO3?

Anyway, I'm a fan, and I just wanted to discuss maybe doing one podfic on a trial sorta thing, and then maybe doing a couple of my other major faves or a series of fics. As of my last major read-through of their fics, my favourite was definitely Mutantkind (this fic is so kickass, I love Logan). Not trying to spoil anything for any of this or the other fics, but taking up the chance at exploring the links between the X-Men and the Avengers (more Tony and even Pepper and Rhodey and such) was such a great move. A power move in so many ways, and I'm also really really eyeing the Transcendent Souls series that leads into the author's OC-linked series, Lennie Alice, and it all sounds like it's phenomenal and I just want to READ it, who cares about podficcing it??? I mean, I do, but most important of all: I'm just a fan who sees shiny fics all in a pretty series-row that I hadn't gotten around to yet (too busy reading Ramblings for the 10th time and wincing with each successive hit to the gut. Ouchies. But poor Tony too, woW. That one just hurts. In a cathartic way (even though I love Peggy, it's fascinating to explore these things!!)

Like Disney's "What If?" series if they weren't too scared to explore the really interesting things that make people tick and feel betrayed even decades later.

All of these authors, above and below, sure know how to throw those punches, and I like that.

I do have other podfic projects on the go, as well, yes, but spring is a great time for me and I get a lot of projects done pretty well on the regular. The Night King has been vanquished and the sun shines upon us again and offers me much Vitamin D and happy-stuff. :) :P

Doing a fic by @Wix would be awesome too, but I'm also not sure of their handle, unfortunately. Plus I've rarely spoken to them! Believe it or not, I can be shy. xD But there are so many of Wix's CW Team IM fics that I would just love to podfic and really sink my teeth into for the absolute wreckage and carnage that some of these characters would be feeling. Righteous anger, true anger, when you know you're right, when you just think you're right and the world crumbles down around you.... god I would love to really act those fics out and make people feel, just like we do and more when we're actually reading Wix's awesome body of work. It could be a real experience, and I would love to be able to help share that. All else fails, I'll just give these last two a message in their comments. ;)

And maybe @rayshippouuchiha might be interested in chatting with me about doing a (second) podfic of Hide a Heart of War? There can never be enough podfics of awesome Stuckony (or any ship, really), but I do also have my eyes on another few of yours that you don't have podficced, m'dear. :) I mean, Sore Must Be The Storm (wow, I relate to that title---and the fic itself---hard) would be really cool to do if the second chapter was up, (wing fics! CW Team IM! Woo!) Or the ever-so-classic "Assassination Attempts Are Not Flirting Toni" tag that epitomizes The Devouring of Hearts (which is hoestly epic and I am going to go re-read asap) or The (Not So) Great Pretender (it has a TextToSpeech podfic but those are hard for some people to follow along to --- I know my hearing issues mean I can't catch all of it, sadly, and none of it clearly! =/). Let's talk, if you're cool with me doing one of yours?? :) I would be so thrilled!

And @not-close-to-straight I cannot forget about you (ever) in this season of big eyes and planning out podfics all excited-like. Has anyone ever approached you about podficcing the entirety of your 3-part series Of Gods and Men that is ThunderIron, ThunderIron & FrostIron & Thorki, and then is PURE ThunderFrostIron with a super. special. twist. at the end omg???? Can we talk about that sometime? Whenever is good for you, if you're at all interested? Because there is NOT enough ThunderIron in the MCU, because I love Tony, because there is not enough FrostIron with Thor and Loki being awesome (usually), and then especially because there is NEVER enough poly ThunderFrostIron for my tastes and I just cannot when it comes to these fics. I just really would please love to podfic it, out of all your awesome fics this one just strikes right deep at the heart of me.

So. Um. Yeah.

This was going to be a quick "do you know this person!?!?! I'm desperate!" kind of Tumblr post, but it turned into me somewhat begging and complimenting at the same time, and it sounds totally shameless but I also haven't slept for about 48+ hours properly and I am in severe pain so the mania tends to be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse with all that.

So. Yeah. Just let me know what you think, preferably via DM here or on Discord (Juulna#0508) or Ask or whatever. I'm happy however. And these are YOUR fics, I have zero claim to them whatsoever no matter how I may strongly relate to them or love them or think they should have their own awesome experience with me spitting angry lines back when required in response to pure sass. I would love to try/do it all. :) Spring and Summer is my podfic season, and I'm going to have a lot of fun with current and potential projects alike!

Ta, loves. And thank you for considering me for podficcing these awesome works! If you want a recent example of a fairly quick (and porny, hah) oneshot I did, I think you'd like what I did with @tsuki-chibi's The Shirt [fic]. Check the podfic out here, and then give the original author love because it is a DAMN FINE fic (and I want the shirt, hah).

[chanyoungies]

bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!! 

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!! 

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

[blackevermore]

Pssssssst talk about some of your favorite mutuals, how you found them, What makes them special to you? 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[This one is gonna be long]

Edit: so im stupid and forgot one person....please don’t hate me asdfghjkl;

x Well since my reactivation of this blog I’ve met some really amazing folks! I would like to apologize for how spars some of our chats may be because I may not respond back, I legit forget to unless you double text me. Or I think I respond and I don’t……or simply I didn’t have anything to say atm but I planned on saying something and forgot ;w; yes I am that person but if you’re okay with dealing with that our friendship means a lot to me. 

@kapperson doesn’t actually count since we’ve been best friends for 7 years outside of Tumblr but like I love her so I wanted to put her here anyway! Love you bitccccccccch!!

@etherealepidemic was legit the first person to talk to me when I came back and wow…she’s fucking amazing! Like she supportive, really nice, funny as hell, and mega plus hella fucking pretty. If you guys like twitch streams she has one and it’s relaxing to watch. Though she may be busy it’s great to talk to her.

@disneymarina woow this babe is like really nice and like it’s great how naturally nurturing she is. I could be having a bad day and she’ll pop up in my dm and bless me with a good day and if not she listens to what I have to say. It’s really nice. 

@kryssiesbookofselfinserts is a doll! She’s so fucking cute and really nice and blesses me every day with support. People need friends that make sure they are okay and having an okay week. Even when it’s bad it’s okay because Kryssie is there and willing to talk. 

@shallowhound Awesome. Like I need another word because they are beyond that and they didn’t mind my awkwardness in the beginning of us talking. Now I light up when I see them shoot me a message. 

@captain-self-ships and @selfshipdeity have to get grouped together because they came to my discord and they are really chill people. I will admit I’m a dumbass and at first I got them mixed up but now I can tell who from who. 

@dengujian is really really nice and I need to talk to them more because they were one of the first few people I was able to talk to. I really suck ass at keeping up with people but I’m really grateful for the times we do get to chat. 

@asymptotic-pink (tumblr wont lemme tag her for some reason) is a hyperactive baby and she’s honestly so fucking cute and adorable and like the little sister I’ve never had. 

@sparklingshipps we don’t talk much but they are amazing, their art is amazing, they are hella nice, their ship is to die for, when we do interact its so chill beans =w=b

[feral-anarchy]

Drama with TDP... Again

Quick Edit:  I am NOT choosing sides. I am still open to any and all information. I am simply giving you a side of a story I believe plays some part in all of this. Do with it what you will.  I am going to continue doing what I have been doing since the beginning until more information presents itself. If Aaron is bad- He will be dead to me and I will advicate for his immediate removal within the prefession as well as protection for these girls. Justice. If the girls are lying- I will continue to support Wonderstorm and keep doing what im doing now without much change. 

If you come to me aggresively, I will not aknowledge you, I will block and move on. Though I will still answer questions and take in any information with an open mind and a calm tone.  Secondary Edit:  I realised some of my times were off and a helpful anon was able to present me with a more accurate timeline. Ive copy and pasted their message to me so that you can have the accurate times.  Please be aware of this before reading the post below. I will not edit my original post as I wish to keep the original content intact to avoid possible confusion.  “The story with the aaravos blog can't have happened last year in april. That would make it april 2018 and the dragon prince wasn't even released before october 2018. All of this happened this year. Dani left in June. Lulu left like a couple of months later. August or september? But anyways it's not true that they left wonderstorm a year ago. It's been merely a few months and Lulu's departure is super recent.“ Final Edit: After searching on Twitter, I have come across this image. Aaron has spoken about this when it originally came out and had this to say of it. (This is a private message to someone who then went on to make it public.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~ Original Post Below ~~~~~~~~~~~ I really do not want to give any more effort into this but I feel that I must post. Im unsure of how many this will reach but I believe you need to know something before you continue to blindly choose sides. 

Listen, at the end of the day you will choose your ‘side’ though I wish there was no need for sides. 

This drama that is appearing all over twitter is OLD NEWS. Danika and Lulu DO NOT and HAVE NOT worked at Wonderstorm since this all went down a year ago. 

Here is my take on all of this: 

A year ago, I believe it was April? There was a very popular blog called Ask-Aaravos-Anything. This blog was liked and followed by a lot of the fanbase.  Well, out of the blue there were accusations of AAA child luring, having NSFW material littering their blog and not taking into consideration the younger fans. 

Now, anyone who actually interacted with this blog knew all of that to be absolute lies. AAA was always very traight forward, took everything into consideration, repeatedly reminded us to be mindful of how we tag things and never had actual nsfw materials on their blog. 

At the time Danika was managing the tumblr tdp blog. Danika DMed AAA and was vile and aggressive in her messages, enough so that AAA deactivated shortly after.  You can still find some of the screenshots of the actual DMs as well as some DMs of AAA conversing with others about what happened and how they had felt about it and why they were deactivating.  Soon after AAA’s deactivation, we got news that Danika had been scolded for her actions (As the entire fanbase who knew what was going on got up in arms about it) and she suddenly, convenietly had ‘another better job oppertunity’ And shortly after that we began to hear of general workplace harassment and gaslighting and sexual harassment from Danika.

As you know, that brought everyone up in arms once again and there was discourse. Then her friend, Lulu popped up as well with the same talk of harassment and having to deal with a negative work enviroment. Being in this industry for one is absolutely grueling, its not for everyone. It can be as bad as being in the film industry with actual actors.

Eventually things simmered down and life moved on. 

Both Danika and Lulu have had an ENTIRE YEAR to talk about this, to continue pushing the issue, to continue speaking of these issues- they were fine speaking of it last year. Yet they remained quiet for all this time. 

Now, when season 3 is about to drop, when Netflix likes to cancel shows, at this critical moment- they suddenly both pop up again?  Neither of them work there anymore, this shouldnt be an issue for them anymore. Especially when they had ALL THIS TIME to talk of it. Yet they didnt. 

And in regards to Danika stating they already had season 3 ready long, long ago- I have been in this industry briefly and I know people who are still in it, thats not how these things work. I doubt they were done months and months ago and were just sitting around doing nothing. Animation takes time- I wont get into it but its a lot. 

Now listen.. As hard as it might be to swallow, we DO NOT know all the facts, only what we have been told by Danika and Lulu. And with Aaron refusing to make any statements or even acknowleding theres anything going on its hard to gather any real information- and we wont. We will not get anymore information, we will not get any more facts. 

Unless authorities are involved or someone brings in a hidden camera into the studio, we will never know what the actual truth is. If it comes out that the girls are right then I’ll eat a spreader bar. 

But I am going to continue supporting TDP and those who are part of this creation. (I dont care about Aaron, I care about the animators, voice actors, sketch artists, ect) I am going to continue posting content, continue writing fanfic, continue interacting with TDP related blogs. 

Because I find it VERY suspicious this crap pops back up right now when its been so silent for an entire year. 

If you couldn’t tell already, I already am wary of these girls because of what they did to AAA and the community at the time. 

I refuse to be a mindless follower, I will not take sides until there are actual FACTS presented.  I know this all sounds harsh, but I am wary of trusting anything spoken without proof. I have proof- just look it up, the old screenshots are still floating around.  Im a assault survivor too- I am in full support if this all comes out to be true- and Ill eat that spreader bar. 

I just thought I would put in my two cents and let you all know what originally went on, and why i am suspicious of this all flaring up again after being silent for so long.  I will not be speaking of this again, nor will I be posting another big post such as this. However I will answer any questions you may have on this topic.  Im not bashing on the girls, I am simply wary of believeing anything they say after what they did to AAA. 

[balizardsnakething]

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST 

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some). 

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list. 

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it. 

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks. 

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is. 

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset. 

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves. 

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable. 

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion. 

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”. 

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story. 

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy 

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :) 

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her. 

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway,  we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM. 

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

[dandelionpath]

I feel bad about not contacting my spirit guides or families in a while but I’ve also been quite low on energy recently. Would you be able to help me figure out what I could do with them? I don’t want to fall out of touch with them and I worry ;-;

howdy! so i recorded a podcast episode to answer ur question but im a fool and forgot that i cant upload them very well, so I'm going to write out an answer for u in the meantime!

Number 1 thing to remember here: This shit is difficult!! It's difficult to keep up with physical humans for many people - now add on that these entities are noncorporeal and also oftentimes not human??? That's so many more layers of difficulty!

So don't beat yourself up if this has happened to you. It happens to many of us, even the most advanced and experienced practicioners 💙

That being said, I do want to emphasize that completely dropping out of contact with your entity friends for long periods of time without explanation or warning is not exactly acceptable in many situations. It's unacceptable in my family, and it's the same with many other people's. (But if this is fine in your situation and family, then don't let me stop you! As long as you're doing what works for both you and your spirit friends, then by all means keep that up!) This isn't to shame you or wag a finger at you, anon, this is just so that no one is going to walk away from this post thinking it's okay to abandon their spirit family 😅

Now, what /can/ you do to make sure you keep up with the fam? Well, what I've done in my personal situation is set aside one day a week where it's MANDATORY to talk to them and at least acknowledge their existence. We had a "family meeting" (these can also be quite helpful!) where we all set aside one day of the week - Thursday, in my case - where I am required to talk to them and do something with them. Otherwise, I do fall into the trap of thinking, "Oh I'll do something big for them tomorrow," "I'll set aside a half hour later," etc etc. This isn't to say that I don't want to talk to my companions and spend time with them; this is just how my brain works. It happens with my blood family, my best friend, and things I really look forward to.

Anyways, what I'd suggest is to start out with one day a week that works for your entire (or as close to the whole fam as u can get) entity group, and then have that day as your metaphysical day. You can still talk to them throughout the week, but it's MANDATORY that you at least acknowledge their existence and maybe say hello on that one day. If that goes well, try upping it to two days. Right now, I'm only able to handle one day, and even sometimes I mess that up.

Spirit work is often about give and take and finding compromises and what is going to realistically work for both you and the entities. It takes time, it takes frustration, it takes trial and error, and most of all it takes WORK. After all, we do call it spirit /work/, lol!

As for ideas for what activities to do with them, literally anything! Ask them for ideas if you want!

Here's a little list if you're really at a loss:

-Clean your room together

-Do art together

-Share and swap stories

-Have them teach you a song

-Go thru old photos on your device and delete ones you don't need anymore. My companions often help me decide which ones I actually should keep and which ones to get rid of!

-Cuddle!

-Dance around your room like maniacs

-Sing along to your favourite songs

-Make a playlist for them

-Make a moodboard or a Pinterest board or even a sideblog for them (or just a tag on your tumblr for their stuff!)

-Share a cup of tea or a snack

-Scroll through social media together

-Watch some tv or YouTube together

-Meditate together

-Light some incense or a candle for them or put on their favourite essential oil

-Go for a walk around the neighborhood

-Play hide and seek

-Do one of those tumblr ask games either on tumblr or just between yall

Hopefully that helps! Let me know how things go! My ask box and DMs are always open 😊💙

[lesbian-octoling]

Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!! 

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry