#<-subject im not gonna get into again(today. who knows in a week) but thats very impactful to how i view gran

[toestalucia]

main story spoilers for the billionth time. cuz sometimes u get jumpscared by what charas says

All of a sudden, Catura comes running up and wraps her arms around Captain. Catura: I'm so glad… You're still alive, Captain… The love interest in the book I recently read suddenly disappeared… I got really scared for a moment… There's no guarantee that we'll be able to celebrate your birthday every year…

absolutely unreal thing to write knowing gran Saw the timeline where they got beamed to death. in general its unreal that one exists, and then they have to see(know) the crew dies in their timeline Too

also theres haase with this

Haaselia: Although your adventures are always fraught with peril, so I wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly met your untimely end…

[thesugarhole]

useless blog post of me complaining of the same thing again feel free to scroll past

im still super excited about dd2 coming out tomorrow btw. just not hiper fixated excited, hence why i havent been talking a whole lot about it.

it could be a good thing, since its not whats currently giving me brainrot i wont be too upset if i dont get to play it on launch; i still have to buy it which means putting the money i saved up on my account or buying a gift card. also, the first day of the work week so far have been brutal on my mind and i always seem to arrive late home (slowly but surely getting a hang of all the tips and tricks about buses and trains and stops around here) so even if i already had the game whose to say id get to play it and not just shower and sleep out of exhaustion?

it could be a bad thing because one of the tips i saw today while researching sunday blues was to not divide work and fun too strictly in week and weekend respectively, because that's how it creeps in... like even if you plan to game on the weekend but then dont get to it because youre tired, it definitely feels like a failure and no fun was actually had.

dunno. again, its a balancing act. 8 hours of sleep, 12hours of work counting commutes, delays and lunch (i wake up at 7, i always get home past 19h30). got 4 hours left to shower, dinner, prep for tomorrow. and free, Comfortable time (i count commute as free-uncomfortable time, so you can sort of deduce 3-4 hours from the 12, but i still dont actually get to do anything relaxing nor fun-productive) with access to my bedroom where all my things are. ive been slowly recovering some energy in these hours instead of needing them to do nothing, but it really depends on how tiring the day was... the last thing you want to do after a bad day of intense monitor related activities is go home and look at it again, even if with a different subject

guess we'll see tomorrow. in any case ill probably only buy it tuesday because my savings arent actually in my bank account but inside my closet aisodjsoa

i know i sound like an asshole when ive only been at it for 2 weeks and each one had an holiday but like. if i hated this aspect of school and uni im definitely not gonna love it at work. its too much with little time to goof off, like you actually have to slot everything so carefully even in the weekend to not go insane. really respect people who do this and more. at least so far im not bringing home work, thats something i want to avoid as much as possible. work hours is for work anything outside of it call someone else

[julie-thefatones]

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 2

Hello Everyone! Welcome to part 2 of my First FanFic...... If you would like to Read Part 1 click here 💜 But thank you so much to everyone who liked and read the first part... I hope you all like the second part just as much! Okaaaaayyyyyy im gonna go work on Part 3! thank you guys bye :) (Updated- Part three now posted here)

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

WordCount: 3,316

As you and Luke made your way back to the High School you guys didn't say a word, both of you not really understanding what just happened back at your spot by the lake, You were so confused, because Luke is just a friend, and he's your best friends band mate.... which made it even more complicated with the feelings you were currently feeling.... whatever happened back there felt more than just friendship, You shake your head to get that thought out of it, *no* you thought to your self *Luke is just a friend* you could only imagine what was going on in Lukes mind right now, what was he thinking, you thought, looking down at yours and Lukes hands entwined with one another's..... he probably doesn't think anything, you looked up at his face and then turned away the second you saw him start to look at you back. *What is he thinking about!* you thought to your self, you cant help but feel frustrated, Luke must have felt your frustration because you felt his hand tighten around yours "Hey, Y/N.... are you okay?" Luke asked you with real concern in his voice, You look back at him, widening your eyes "Me? oh yeah! just thinking about what I missed in algebra today... Mr. Berty is gonna be Pissed" You said with a nervous chuckle, Luke chuckled along with you " Well, just tell him an emergency came up!! like ya girly thing came" Luke said smiling at you, and you laughed "My girly thing? You mean my period?" You said nudging his shoulder with yours, teasing him, he scrunched his whole face "ahaha yeah! I just always feel so weird saying it" he said still scrunching his face, and you both laugh while simultaneously inching a little closer together as you walked.

As you approached the school, you looked at Luke and saw his eyes get bigger with excitement, confused you looked in the direction he was looking at, you looked all around, still confused and then looked back at Luke "Luke? why are you so excited right now?" you asked him with a slight chuckle, you just couldn't help but laugh with how cute his face was, how excited he was, he then looked at you "Y/N, do you see what I see?" he said with so much excitement, motioning towards the direction of the school, and you look over still not seeing anything, and looking back at Luke "No, I really don't" you responded, he then rolled his eyes, and nudged your shoulder "The gym door is open" he said excited, and the motioning over to the field where there were a bunch of student playing soccer "They are all at practice, which means!..." Luke continued, his eyes widening and motioning them back and forth from you to the door, you, still slightly confused to why he was so excited "What? we should sign up for soccer, because im not very good at it.... you might be good at it!! are you good at it?" You replied, now wondering if he was good at soccer, causing a confused look on your face, Luke rolled his eyes again "Yes I am good at it, but thats not the point! the point is!! EMPTY GYM!!!" he said so excited, he hopped forward dragging you along with him running towards the door "Luke! why is an empty gym so exciting?" you asked while running, as you approached door you out of breath and him being totally fine since he's dead, He continued to smile, and dragged you through the doors "Because Y/N! its an empty gym!" He laughed causing a slight echo "You can do all kinds of stuff... like this!" he said looking at you with a flirtatious glance and then did the most effortless body roll you ever seen anyone do ever! you majorly impressed by Luke and his skills, also notice your heart beating a million miles a minute... but you just let it slide.... it didnt mean anything, you just got done running across a field which is longer than you have ran since you had to do the pacer test in middle school. You looked at Luke and smiled and then clapped your hands slowly together "Wow I was almost impressed Patterson!" you said with sarcasm in you voice, just to tease him a little because you were very impressed, did his arms look more muscular than before? you thought to your self looking at his arms through his sleeveless Rush tee, Luke laughed cutting you off mid thought "Almost impressed? C'mon! you were so impressed by the way your mouth was hanging wide open Y/L/N" He said moving closer to you, until before you knew it he had you in his arms swinging you around, both of you laughing "Luke!!!! put me down you dork!" you laughed, he didnt listen instead he swung you over his shoulder "Not until you admit you were impressed!" he said in a teasing tone, and you knew he wouldn't let you down until you admitted it, but you also were not one to give in so easily "Never!!!" You screamed causing Luke to laugh creating the biggest smile on his face "Alright then! I guess we are going to be here for a while Y/N" Luke said confidently causing you to smile because you didnt mind the thought actually, but he doesn't have to know that "I guess we are Patterson" you replied in the most confident voice you could manage trying not to laugh, just hanging upside from his shoulder.

15 minutes or so had passed and you were still hanging from Luke shoulder in the Gym, except now you two were hiding in the corner because the gym class came back in. You looking at your phone, and whispering to Luke "Hey! there's a 5:00 showing of that movie, you still wanna go" you could feel his little bounce of excitement "Yes!" he whispered back "you even need to ask! is it just gonna be me and you or did you wanna invite the whole gang" he whispered, you sat there thinking for a minute, you would love to just have it be you and Luke but you also don't want to cause any rifts with Julie, she is your best friend after all and she has been wanting to see this movie for a while, its all she talked about for a week straight "we better invite everyone, we don't want them to think we don't care about them" you whispered, you could feel the sudden shift in Lukes mood, *was he disappointed?* you wondered to yourself "Yeah your right... ill tell the boys" he whispered, you could feel him playing with your shoe laces on your shoes, just twiddling them around in his fingers "Hey Y/N, we should sit next to each other though, ya know just because then we can make fun of it, in case it turns out bad" he whispered with a nervous type of laughter, causing you to smile, you whispered a chuckle, slapping his butt in a rhythm to your words "Of course you dork! duh" you whispered, you felt him bounce in excitement again, then rubbing your calf "Y/N, has the blood started rushing to your head yet?" he whispered to you with a teasing tone causing you to roll your eyes, the blood rushed to your head a while ago but you weren't gonna let that cause you to loose, so you slapped his butt once more "No! you might as well give up Patterson" you whispered with same kind of teasing tone, Luke now slapping your butt in a playful response "Never!" he whispered.

You and Luke had spent around 30 minutes just hiding in the gym with you slung over his shoulder, until Luke finally put you down in defeat. Now you were walking to Julies house with her now that school was over "Where were you most the day today Y/N?" Julie asked you truly confused, *oh crap* you thought to yourself, how are you going to explain your self... you don't want to admit you were hanging out with Luke all day but you also don't want to lie to your best friend, shifting your eyes from your nervous twiddling hands to your best friends confused face "Well, ya know here and there" you replied hoping that would be it and you both would move onto a different subject, Julie laughed "Okay! what are you hiding from me girl! you know you cant keep a secret from me ... now spill" she said but now with excitement and intrigue as to where you were.... *oh just tell her!* you thought to your self "Alright!!! I was hanging out with Luke" You laughed, now super nervous to your best friends response to you getting so close to her band mate, it also felt really nice to get that off your chest "Really?" Julie laughed "What did you guys do all day?" She asked, still laughing, your eyes widening with relief that she wasn't freaking out "Oh, we hung out in the gym, I was trying to win a bet, which I did!" you laughed, with a confident voice feeling proud of your self for the victory, Julie laughed with you "Oh! at 5:00 we are all gonna go see that movie you have been dying to see! you wanna come?" you asked Julie with excitement, Julie laughed "Duh!!!! im there" she said punching your arm playfully.

You and Julie got to the movies a little earlier then the rest of the gang to get the tickets and get in line for snacks, soon Flynn came in and joined you guys in line "Hey girls!!" She said with her usual Flynn excitement and flare "Hey Flynn!" Julie said with a smile and a fist bump, you smiled too "hey girl!" you said giving her a small hug "Where are the guys?" Flynn asked looking around noticing you and Julie were standing in line alone "Oh they should be here any minute" Julie said casually, her being used to them showing up late to places...

As you guys guys waited You just fiddled with a stuffed animal that was for sale sitting on one of the shelves that they have by the line area, enticing people to shop while they wait.. it was just a small stuffed animal, a panda in fact, holding a little heart that said the words I adore you you kind of smiled at it, due to how cute it was, just spacing off playing with its ears while Julie and Flynn went on about something that Nick did in Biology class due to Julies huge crush on him. You felt a brush of air sweep behind you and then "What you doing!" whispered in your ear from behind scaring the crap out of you causing you to drop the Panda, turning and punching the the thing that scared you right in the arm, wasn't long until you noticed it was Luke, who was now holding his arm "Ouch! thats the kind of welcome I get Y/N!" he said teasingly, still holding his arm "You know this is the second time you have punched me today, im starting to think you don't like me or something.... that hurts" he said now smirking with the same teasing tone, you guys locked eyes, you were trying to find the right words to say but were struggling, getting lost in his green eyes, but then found your way back as he looked down at the ground at your now dropped panda "Is this your little guy" Luke says picking the panda off the ground and messing with the ears the same way you were "Its cute!" he said smiling and now motioning it toward you moving its limbs like it was alive, you smiled and pushed the panda down in a playful way in order to see Lukes face "No, its not my panda! he is cute though" you laughed, Luke smiled at you and then looked down at the panda in his hands "So you do think he is cute? well at least I know your type now! a little odd but alright" he said still teasing you, causing you to roll your eyes "Do you want me to punch you again" you said now teasing him "Hey Y/N! Luke! can you guys stop flirting for 5 seconds so we can order our food and go, the movie is gonna start in like 10 minutes" Alex yelled over to us from the front of the snack bar with Julie and Flynn. You turn to Luke and see his face turn a certain shade of red "Dude, we are not flirting! excuse me for being social" Luke laughed while skipping forward, but grabbing your hand to come along with him, Alex rolled his eyes "Yeah, okay! whatever you say pal" Alex said sarcastically patting Luke on his shoulder, You looked around "Where is Reggie?" You asked confused to where he was, Alex nodded his head in the direction of the arcade where Reggie had his head resting on the glass of a claw machine in defeat, using his pointer finger to caress the glass next to the toy he wanted, you and Luke shared a look and laughed in reaction to him "Hey Reg! buddy! its okay, we can try again after the movie!" Luke yelled to Reggie causing Reggie to sigh and look at the toy "Ill be back for you little buddy" Reggie whispered to the toy, causing us all to burst into laughter, in that moment you noticed, just like earlier today... Luke never let go of your hand after dragging you with him, right now you both were holding hands.... your eyes widened.... *me and Luke are holding hands* you thought to your self *Doesnt mean anything! nope* you said to yourself looking down at your hands intertwined with one another, Luke must have felt your wandering eyes because in that moment he squeezed your hand tighter.

As you sat in the movie next to Luke as planned before in the gym you kept looking down at your hand which was still holding Lukes like it was so natural to him, the way your fingers were interlocked with his and how his thumb just subtly massaged the outer part of your thumb.... it felt nice... you glanced up at Lukes face as he was watching the movie, you never noticed how beautiful his smile was, like this dude had a seriously amazingly beautiful smile, you just sat there looking at him laugh at the movie.... he must had felt your stare because in that moment he looked over at you, still not dropping his smile, in fact it grew bigger than before but with a softer touch, he leaned in next your ear "What? is there something on my face?" he whispered, while taking his free hand wiping his mouth, you just chuckled "oh yeah!! there is, its a mess oh my gosh" you whispered back in a teasing tone, putting your hand on his cheek as if to wipe something, and then you looked him straight in the eyes with a smirk "Oh no, that was just your face, my bad" you whispered with the same teasing tone, as Lukes smile turned into a gasp, that was some how still a smile "Ouch, that hurt Y/L/N it really did" he whispered with a slight chuckle, you laughed in a whisper "Uh huh sure it did" you whispered while softly tapping his face, like a small slap before removing your hand from his face, in that moment he squeezed your had tighter again, but this time as if he was happy he still had your other hand..... *That doesn't mean anything, its all in good fun!* you thought to your self..... you looked over to your left at your best friend who was watching the movie, you don't know why but you felt slightly relieved she didnt really notice the interaction you and Luke just shared, until she leaned over to your ear with a handful of popcorn "What was that?" she whispered with a slight laugh, you looked at her with a shy smile, "What was what?" you whispered back, trying to avoid the topic, because you and Luke were just friends and you knew she was gonna ask If it was something more "Is there something going on between you and Luke?" she whispered, but this time in serious tone due to actual sincere curiosity "What do you mean by something going on? I mean we hang out alot" you whispered back, telling the whole truth, thats all it was after all, Julie looks at you and tilts her head with wide eyes as if she were saying really and then motioned her eyes over to yours and Lukes hands that were still tangled together, in which you looked at too and looked back in a swift movement "Oh, thats nothing, we just do that! I don't know why... we just do" you whispered, in a slightly rushed nervous tone, because you really didnt know how to explain that..... you didnt even know your self, Julie raised her eyebrows "uh huh....whatever you say girl" she whispered back, you just chuckle in response not really knowing what to say, in that same moment you see Reggie and Alex passing a note down the line of seats until it reached you and on the top it read To: Y/N and Luke... Julie scrunched her eyebrows together confused, you shrug your shoulders and lean over to Luke "Hey we got a note from Reggie and Alex?" you whispered in confusion, in which Luke looks down at the note and then over to Reggie and Alex who have their eyes plastered to the screen as if they were actually paying attention to the movie, casually eating there popcorn... Luke then looks back at the note and the up at you "What do you think they want?" Luke whispered with a slight laugh, "I don't know" you whispered with a laugh, you and Luke share a look, both quickly shrugging your shoulders and opening the note both using the only free hands you have, when you get the note open Luke reads aloud still in a whisper "So when are you two gonna get a room? because ya know there are people here, Love Alex and Reggie" Luke face then went from a smile into his grumpy Luke face, which he rarely ever makes, you both just look over at Alex and Reggie again who are now looking at you both and laughing

silently to each other which causes you to chuckle as well, Luke looks at you surprised your laughing, but then softens his face at how funny you think it is, Luke starts chuckling too and then sits back in his seat continuing to watch the movie *what were Julie, Alex, and Reggie talking about though? there's absolutely nothing going on between me and Luke.... ugh at least Flynn hasn't said anything* you thought to yourself, you sit back in your seat too, now drowning in your thoughts of confusion....... *Oh boy* you thought to yourself, you then glanced at Luke who felt your look and turned to you "I know im hot Y/N, but you did pay to see the movie... you should probably Watch it instead of me" Luke Whispered to you in a teasing tone and a smirk "Oh! I also have something for you" he whispered in such a cute soft tone, it made your stomach feel weird, *what the heck was that* you thought to yourself putting your free hand on your stomach and then you knew what it was *Butterflies*

[shhh-no-ones-home]

model citizen ricky horror x reader

+++++++++

college au

prompt: Character A sitting in a college 7am lecture and Character B sitting next to them pouring an energy drink into their coffee and says, "I'm going to die." (First interaction)

Song: pretty little distance by as it is

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx

+++++++++

i walked into the room and huffed as i took my seat, reaching into my bag for my notebook and a pen. i hated having a 9am again and missed being able to sleep-in like i did last semester. this was the first day though and i was hopeful my mind would change about it as the course went on. it probably wouldnt though. i sat there, catching a few more students walk in as i looked down at my phone.

nothing was too exciting yet and the teacher hadnt even shown up. i was more-so ready for the new art class though. it was my major after all and i was pretty well known by the professors at this point. as i sat there, a loud clatter grabbed my attention, making me look to my right. there was sat a shorter, skinny kid, with long inky black hair tucked under a beanie. my eyes went wide as he cracked the monster in his hand open, pouring it into his half=full trenta cup from Starbucks. he looked over at me and smiled.

"im going to die."

he said in the most sure-fire tone before putting the lid back on the cup and chugging it. i sat there in horror staring at him.

"are you okay?"

i asked and he shrugged, looking at me over the top of the cup. he had the bluest eyes i had ever seen, even in the low light of the art room. i was a little start struck for a second before shaking myself out of my daze, watching him put the cup down against the desk with a thud.

"if i pass out during class just push me out of the way and ill figure something out later."

he said, turning forward. i went to say something just as the teacher walked in.

"y/n! good to see you back. we missed you last semester."

professor crane said, looking to the student teacher as he ducked behind him and paced quickly to the front desk. his gaze followed him too before he shrugged and turned back to me with a smile.

"whatever, im sure he missed you too. but either way its good to have you back in class and i look forward to seeing what you come up with for the showcase in march."

i nodded with a smile before he walked away to the front of the class, instructing everyone to take their seats.

"you come here often?"

i heard from the kid next to me, hearing him laugh to himself as he took another drink of his coffee/monster concoction.

"yes, actually. im an art major."

i said a little dumbfounded. he nodded.

"cool, im here for film."

i drew my brows.

"youre doing film?"

i asked and he winked at me, looking to Brian as he turned the projector on. i opened my mouth before closing it quickly, feeling a little more confused than before.

"alright, first things first. i only make a syllabus because administration says i have to. the schedule is shit and we will most likely be doing something completely different so i suggest you keep a planner or something to keep track of your assignments. secondly, i will get to it later but i want you to start thinking about your projects for the spring showcase in march. we have a few short months so after you learn the basics of form you will be instructed to sketch something in your own style and present it to the board."

my mind went in and out after that, trying to catch quick glances at the kid next to me without being suspicious. every time he moved i could feel my heart pulse, giving me anxiety that he could actually pass out or something.

"y/n, your partner for this project will be mr olson."

brian said, standing over me and looking between the two of us. i nodded with wide eyes as he moved to the two kids behind us.

"guess that means we have pretty high chances at getting an A."

he said, raising his cup in cheers. i looked down at the assignment sheet, grazing over it and groaning. we had to come up with a comic strip in different style parts; the first panel a base sketch, the second panel a hard sketch, the third panel color blocking, and so on. god this was gonna be a nightmare.

"you dont seem too enthused."

the kid said amused. i sent him a testing look.

"im not, ive done something similar before and you have to get every step just right or they take points off. and we have to prove what parts we did."

i said, rolling my eyes. i looked over to him, blinking as a camera flash went off. i drew my brows as he looked down at the screen on it.

"where did you even get that?"

i asked, trying to inspect him. he sent me a smile.

"i always keep it on me. im ricky by the way, and you look great."

he said amused and i breathed deeply.

"y/n."

i said, looking back to the paper.

"well y/n i think this is going to be a great partnership-"

"alright!"

brian called, cutting him off.

"you have your assignments. i have nothing else for you today so you are welcome to either stay here and work until class time is over or you can leave and work on it on your own time. i dont really care either way, just get it done."

i hummed to myself before stuffing my notebook and the assignment sheet into my bag and standing up. i caught a glimpse of ricky starting at me with wide eyes as i turned to leave.

"what are you doing?"

he asked and i looked between him and the door, pointing at it.

"leaving, its not due for another week."

i started off, hearing him shuffle around before chasing after me.

"hey wait! cant we like plan what we're doing or something?"

he asked and i shrugged, looking over to him as he tried to put his paper in his backpack and hold the camera and cup of coffee. i stopped, staring at him as he struggled. i rolled my eyes, taking the cup and the camera from him. he looked to me in shock and i raised my brows.

"get to it, i dont have all day."

i said and he finished what he was doing, zipping his bag up and slinging it over it shoulder. i handed him the cup and camera back and kept walking.

"so uh, what kind of thing did you have in mind for this project?"

he asked and i looked to the sky, squinting but trying to think as we made it outside.

"i dont know, maybe a ball of some kind?"

he raised a brow, shuffling his feet as he tried to keep up with my long strides.

"like masks and large dresses?"

he asked and i nodded, opening the door to dinging hall.

"something like that yeah."

he nodded as i led us to a table.

"that sounds cool, i could get behind that."

i sent him a knowing look.

"you seem like the kind of guy who would."

i said, pulling my sketchpad out. he raised a brow, sitting beside me.

"whats that supposed to mean?"

he asked and i sent him  a look.

"im assuming you like vampires, and the Edwardian thing usually goes hand in hand with that."

he sent me a nervous smile.

"is it that obvious?"

he asked, rubbing his hands against his pants. i nodded.

"thats okay though, cause i like them too. so much so that i have costumes already, we can pose for each other. i think youd look great in this."

i said, sliding my phone across the table to show him the outfit i had for it. i just hoped it would fit him.

"you seem like youve been planning this for a while."

he said through a laugh and i shrugged.

"i just like to feel fancy, the projects on the other hand kind of fall into my lap."

i said, flipping through a few pages in my book. he placed his hand on one before taking it from me and looking over it.

"this looks insane."

he said and i looked around awkwardly.

"in a good way?"

i asked, finding his gaze.

"oh! yeah! of course in a good way. it looks super cool. i see why you wanted to do the ball thing now."

he commented, noting the sketch i had done already that was similar. it is what i was used to after all. he set the book back down in front of me and sent me a wide smile, picking his camera up and taking another picture of me.

"why do you do that?"

i asked and he laughed.

"i need models for my art and i think now that we've met you would be a great subject."

i set him a look, trying to hide the blush creeping its way up my neck.

"you really think so?"

i asked bashfully and he nodded.

"oh yeah, absolutely. and now that we're partners i think it will give me ample opportunity to find a new muse. you wanna be a subject for a music video?"

i sat back, a little taken aback.

"you want me to do what?"

i asked and he laughed, putting the camera on the table.

"in about a month my band is gonna need some girls for a video but its cool if not. i can live with us just being art project partners."

i cleared my throat, rubbing my hands together under the table.

"how about we get through this first and ill get back to you on that?"

he smiled knowingly at me, raising his coffee to me in cheers.

"sounds like a plan to me."

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[katariinasworld]

@tinyoinklover : Hello! I saw that you take requests for Haikyuu 😄 can I get a Oikawa x reader one? Reader is a shy classmate of his that he falls for and ends up confessing to her later on.

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You never were the type of person to have many friends in fact you have zero friends. It’s not like people doesn’t like you no you are just too shy to talk to them. You are the type of person to be determinate and make everything to achieve your dream to become (your dream job). You are not the typical shy girl as when you are alone or with someone with whom you are at ease you are never at loss of words.

You were in the great Oikawa’s class since first year and today you are a third year in his class again. In those three years you didn’t talk to him once. But you got to be « friend » with Iwaizumi since he is in the journalism club just like you. (You had to choose a club and this one was the best choice)

What you hate about him are his fans, they scream first thing in the morning.

*Girls please have so dignity and stop screaming like pigs in the morning at 8AM just for a guy who don’t care about you...*

Plus the way he thinks he is above everyone just because he is the volleyball’s team captain that irritate you.

Its not that you hate him nor you like him you just tolerate him in your class. Yes you find him handsome, I mean LOOK AT THE BOY YOU ARE NOT BLIND. And you find it amusing every time Iwaizumi is beating him up. 

Today, you went to School early as usual to avoid the screams of Oikawa’s fan and to study in peace. What you didn't expect was to see Oikawa already in class. You tried to avoid him and went to your sit. Key word : TRIED. 

He called you, surprised because he called you by your name you turned to him with your eyes widen. 

YN : Wh...What do you want, Oikawa-san ?

Oikawa : I just wanted to know what you are doing here so early LN-chan? School doesn't start before an hour...

YN : *LN-chan ?* I come early to school everyday to avoid the noise your fans make to study in calm... Wh...What about you ?

Oikawa : I... I have to study for today’s science test... If I don't get a good mark the coach is gonna put me on the bench for the next matches...

YN : *Suck to be you* I can maybe help you study...

Oikawa : REALLY ?! YOU WOULD HELP ME ?! 

YN : Yes but can...can you lower your voice please...

Oikawa : Ah... euh... yes sorry... thank you LN-chan !

You helped him study his science until everyone came to class. Because of that You couldn't do what you were going to do. The boy was really difficult to teach to, he always had his head In the clouds and was not concentrated on what you said. So you had to use volleyball terms to not lose him.

The day after, you were gathering your things to go back home when suddenly someone screamed your name. Everyone looked at you, you blushed hard and noticed both Iwaizumi and Oikawa coming over you. Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa on his head and told him to be quiet and not screaming. The latter rub his head just where Iwaizumi smacked him and put his attention on me. 

Oikawa : Thanks LN-chan !! Thanks to you I got a good mark on science !

YN : You welcome but I didn't really do anything I just helped you understand the subject you had a good mark thanks to your hard work... 

Oikawa : No no its thanks to you ! So I want to thank you by inviting you somewhere ! 

YN : I told you its okay ! Im happy you got to stay in the team your fans would have been devastated...

Iwaizumi : Stay in the team ?

Oikawa : Haha... Yes Iwa-chan, coach told me if I had bad grade he would put me on the bench. 

Iwaizumi : What the.... 

Oikawa : ANYWAY ! Please LN-chan !!

YN: Sorry Oikawa-san...

You then went home and keep replaying the conversation you had with the pretty setter. Yesterday, when you helped him study you talked a little bit, you found out he was not the proud captain you thought he was. Yes he likes to be the center of attention but the way he talk about volleyball, the way his eyes are glowing when he talked about that volleyball team in Argentina. And how his face became really sad when he talked about when he got injuried. *NO NO YOU CANT FALL FOR HIM ! YOU GOT RID OF THAT CRUSH YOU HAD ON HIM IN FIRST YEAR YOU CANT FALL AGAIN !*

The week passed by quickly, its Saturday, the volleyball team has a match and Oikawa kept bothering you to come but kept on telling him no. To your surprise Iwaizumi asked you to come too, to, I quit “make Trashykawa shut his mouth”, you thought about it and decided to go. 

You sat on the first row, if you go to the match may as well have a good view. You spot Oikawa and noticed he was searching for someone, deep inside of you you hoped he was looking for you A GIRL CAN DREAM ! One of his teammate called him so he had to go but you swore you saw a sad expression on his face. Oikawa was the first one to serve, when he looked at the bleacher and he spotted you, he made THE serve (you know the one). 

The match ended, you walked down the bleachers and went to go out the gymnasium. When you passed by the locker room you are pulled in a corner. You looked up to see Oikawa an inch close to your face. You blushed and asked him stuttering what does he want. He looked at you and noticed how much close he is to you. He back away a little took a deep breath and look at you in your (eye color) eyes.

Oikawa : LN-chan I made a promise to the guys...

YN : A promise about what ?

Oikawa : I told them that if we win the match I’m going to ask you on a date...

YN : Wh...why ?

Oikawa : You are not like the others girls you don’t care about me and what you can have if you were to be my girlfriend. You like to be by yourself in the silence and study or read. You must have not noticed but I’m always looking at you since first year. In first year you would always blush when I look at you I found that so cute but after sometimes in second year and now in third year you don’t even pay attention to me. To you I’m just Oikawa Tōoru a classmate not Oikawa the captain of the volleyball team or Oikawa the good looking one and I love that I can be myself with you. You are attentive and you like to help the others. When I told you I had some difficulties in science even if we are not friend you helped me...

YN : Thats because I know you really wanted to play this match...

Oikawa : Exactly ! Plus I love how you are so plunge into what you are doing and it’s mesmerizing how you are determined to achieve your dream of becoming a successful (your dream job)...

YN : How... how do you know about that ?

Oikawa : I heard you talking with Iwa-chan... Anyway what I’m trying to say LN-chan is that I really like you and it’s been while by the way... So would you go on a date with me please ?

YN : How do you expect me to say no now that you said all those things...

Oikawa : Is that a yes ?

YN : Yes Oikawa-san I will go on a date with you...

Oikawa : YES !!!

And you went on this date and many more dates after. You became his girlfriend but no one except his teammates knew about that because you didn’t want attention and Oikawa was okay with that he also is more distant with his fans to respect you and not making you jealous...

*************************************************

Bonus :

YN : Who could’ve know that me helping you in science to let you stay in the team would get us together...

Oikawa : Haha speaking about this... I may have lie to you...

YN : Explain yourself ?

Oikawa : I really wanted to speak to you but I didn’t know how to get near you... Everytime we made eye contact you had this look on your face you know the same one as Iwa-chan has when he is mad... So I had to make an excuse... I knew you went to school early I see you everyday when I’m going to morning practice so I thought that was my chance to talk to you... Are you mad at me ?

YN : No... Thats actually very funny !

****************************************************

I hope that's what you wanted :)

masterlist

[lethbians]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[lvanter]

in the light ; yang jeongin

pairing; jeongin x reader

word count; 1.3k

genre; high school au, fluff

warnings; none??? i think

description; jeongin needs to find jisung. he finds him in the auditorium along with the love of his life

note; y/l/n: ur last name just in case uwu

“where is he? where is he? where is he?” jeongin whispered to himself as he walked down the school hall

he needed to find felix.

felix who forgot to give back jeongins history notes

he saw hyunjin and seungmin standing by hyunjins locker, trying to clean it out a bit

“hyung!” jeongin exclaimed jogging up to them

hyunjin and seungmins both turned to look at the younger boy.

“what’s up, innie?” hyunjin asked while ruffling jeongins hair

“have any of you seen felix hyung?”

hyunjin shook his head, while seungmin nodded

“yeah i saw him in chemistry earlier today, why?”

jeongin sighed, that didn’t help much

“he just forgot to give me my history notes back.

“oh, sorry innie i haven’t seen him since then”

hyunjin scrunched his nose

“why don’t you check the auditorium, i’m pretty sure he said he had to help jisung with the lights”

“okay, thanks hyung. i’ll check the there” jeongin said before running down the hall

“the auditorium” he mumbled opening the door

he walked down towards the stage

but he only got half way before his eyes fell on you

jeongin stopped

you were standing in the middle of the stage, talking with jisung.

you,,, wow holyshit

(´｡• ω •｡`) ♡ jeongins in love (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

you just looked so eathreal. standing right under the light.

jeongin was mesmerized

“wow” he whispered to himself in awe

suddenly jisung saw him standing there, staring

“JEONGIN! HEY” jisungs loud ass yelled and waved at him

you looked in jeongins direction

wanting to see what made jisung yell this time

‘fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do’ -jeongins brain, when u looked at him

here’s what he did

he bolted out of the auditorium. yeah :/ maybe not the best idea

“who was that?” you asked jisung confused

“jeongin, hes one of my best friends!”

“oh okay” - chris bang chan

jeongin on the other hand ran into the boys bathroom and locked himself in a stall

“holy shit” he said as quietly as possible, not wanting anyone to hear him.

he put his hand over his heart. it was beating fast mainly because he just ran so much

“i didn’t even get my notes-“

later that evening, jeongin was sitting in his room. he was supposed to be studying - and he was trying in the beginning, trust me, but he just had to know who you were

so there he was, sitting on his bed, surrounded by notes, which he got back looking through last years yearbook, trying to find you.

“there!” he exclaimed louder than intended.

‘y/n y/l/n’

“y/n” he said in awe.

how are u so pretty omg, no one should be that pretty. what the fuck do u think ur doing

jeongin let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. this was gonna be a long night

like next week ٩(◕‿◕)۶

the first thing jeongin saw when he walked into history class, was felix trying to do a handstand up against the wall, jisung standing beside him giving encouragement, hyunjin laughing at them and seungmin filming it

the second thing he saw was you sitting next to the window looking at something outside

wait

what

since when the fuck have you been in his history class

damn ur sitting next to the window

the light hitting ur face making you look angelic

“jeongin. JEONGIN” hyunjin tried to get jeongins attention

“what?”

“you’ve been staring at y/n for the last 5 minutes,,,,,you okay”

jeongin blinked “yeah yeah i’m-i’m okay”

history class went by with jeongin looking (read: staring) at you and not being able to concentrate

“i so failed this test” felix complained while walking out of the classroom

“so did jeongin” seungmin stated like it was a fact

jeongin looked at him “u don’t know that?????????????”

“u spend pretty much the entire class staring at y/n. so i’m p p sure you failed the test” hyunjin agreed with seungmin

dammit he was caught

“w-what i-i did-didn’t stare at y-y/n. that’s- that’s ridiculous”

hyunjin and seungmin rolled their eyes at him but left him alone

“jisung?” a soft voice said from behind jeongin, making the boys turn around

“Y/N!!!” jisung shouted even through u were standing right in front of him

“are you still helping this afternoon?”

“Yes, i am” jisung said energetically. “have you met my friends??????”

“you have friends??” “no haven’t”

“this is felix, that’s hyunjin, that’s seungmin and the one that looks like a baby is jeonginnie”

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jisssuuunnng why did you have to describe him as a baby

“hi i’m y/n” u waved at them

goddamnit y/n why is ur wave so cute?????????????

“nice to meet you” seungmin said w a small smile

“we know u” hyunjin snickered. “jeongin was stari-OW jeongin what the h*ck”

‘how did he censor h*ck irl??????????’

u were so confused,,,,,,,,                         ”what??”

“NOTHING!!!!” jeongin shouted before he could stop himself. “nothing it’s nothing”

“,,,,,,,,,,,,,, okayyy???     i,,,, really have to go now,,,,it was nice meeting u all,,,,,,”

“i’ll see you in the auditorium!!!!” jisung said smiling as always

“see ya” then u walked off

“OW WILL YOU STOP FUCKING HITTING ME” hyunjin yelled

“you almost exposed me!!!????????NO i wont stop hitting you” jeongin said with a glare

before any of them could say more they heard changbins voice “there u are. whats up? why are u just standing here??”

“jeongin has a crush~~~~~~~~~~~~” felix giggled

changbin raised an eyebrow “on who?”

“u know y/n??????” - jisung

“yeah???”

“thats his crush~~~~~~~~~~”

changbin nodded slowly “good luck with that. theyre very popular and get confessions all the time”

jeongin is staring at changbin like ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ  

“th-theyre popular?????????????????????????????”

“??????????????????????????????????????yes??????????????? u didnt know????????????????????????????????”

“???????????????no??????????????how was i supposed to know?????????????????????”

“well maybe if u actually listend to what people are talking about, you would notice that y/ns name gets mentioned a lot. like a lot, a lot”

“oh”

the rest of the day jeongin listened to what the other students were talking about

and true enough he heard ur name a lot. like a lot, a lot

from “how does y/n look so good in this ugly ass uniform”

to “y/n smiled at me earlier today and,,,,i think im in love”

jeongin groaned and laid his head on the table. “theyll never like me,,,”

he was in the library

“jeongin?”

jeongin froze not daring to look up yet

“jeongin?” u asked again this time a little louder

this time he looked up “y-yes?”

he felt like he couldnt breath for a second when his eyes met yours

“ah um jisung said youre good at science”

u looked ?????????? nervous????????????

“ah i guess i am yes”

i was true he was good at science. it was his best subject

“could” u took a deep breath “could u maybe help with it?”

jeongin gulped “y-yeah sure i can help you with that”

u smiled “thank u so much jeongin”

jeongin seeing u smile: (♡°▽°♡) (♡°▽°♡)

“and maybe” u looked down nervoulsy “would you like to go on,,,,,,,a date,,,, with   me?”

jeongin froze “y-y-you wa-want to go on a-a dat-date with m-m-me???”

“yes” u mumbled still looking down

this was the first time you asked anyone out

you didnt ask people out

people asked You out

jeongin was malfunctioning

“u know what forget i asked” u said about to walk out when jeongin grabbed ur wrist

“no no no no no i would love to go on a date with you” jeongin said maybe a bit too fast for you to understand

he took a deep breath and looked into ur eyes

smksdnjfnaksdadsn

“i would love to go on a date with u”

he said with a very very cute smile making u go asnsmdnjshbdvjhabdjfhbajdhbhsbdjhbasjdhbjashdbjhsa

the end

yikes

u both went on the date and when the guys found out about it they cried

[hereforlukescruff]

ok where do i start babe. im in class so lets pull this shit. imagine Luke being your TA in history class or some shit (i dunno fam i'm durnk dont @ me) and its one of those things where he was a one night stand and you peaced out the next morning without leaving any info and then you showed up first day of class to see he's your fucking TA. like. what the fuck. and he notices you for sure. its a small class. and now he's going to be marking your papers and shit and you're like holy fuck 1/?

and then, to make it worse. he’s your TA for your discussion class too where you talk about shit with only like 10 students and a TA and he takes roll call the first morning and says your name and you’re just like holy fuck because you can’t avoid now and all the other TA blocks are full. and he’s gorgeous and you’re like first: why the fuck did i peace out that morning and second: if he’s my TA does that mean i can’t fuck him again. and he’s your fucking TA so after the class ends 2/?

he asks you to stay and you can’t just say no in front of all these other students so you stay and he’s just like, “didn’t think id be seeing you again.” and you’re like fuck cuz you know you owe him an explanation for leaving that morning without even saying goodbye or leaving a phone number and you’re just like… “sorry. i uh… didn’t want to make it more than what it was.” and he’s like “i mean. i guess i can understand that.” and he lets you leave and you think thats going to be the 3/?

end of it but every class he’s so beautiful and he’s so smart and you find yourself falling harder and harder. you don’t know it but he’s totally falling for you too, especially reading your assignments and stuff, he’s starting to learn more about you and is like woah she’s actually really cute. so one day you show up to the small TA session and you’ve been drinking (#ME AM I RIGHT?) and you’re super impatient and he can tell you’re drunk so he asks you to stay after class and once everyone 4/?

is gone he turns to talk to you but you just kiss him. you can’t help yourself any more. and he leans into the kiss. lifting you up and setting you on the table as he goes between your legs and kisses you like his life depends on it. “i can’t stop thinking about you.” “you’re drunk.” he sighs but you are just like “maybe so but… it’s the truth.” and he believes you because he hasn’t been able to get you out of his head either. besides you’re not even that drunk anymore and you feel so good 5/?

and he’s just like fuck it and kisses you again. he pulls away and you whine but he just locks the door because at least one of you still has a brain. and then you just fuck. and im too drunk and in class to talk about it but it’s your turn babe. work your magic. FUCK ME UP MIRIAM. okay. im done now 6/6

……………………………………………………………………………………………

who’s fucking up who cause i’m choking djfdlsjkdlsjk

but imagine walking in to that class and you guys noticing each other and you’re both just like “fuck” in your head cause you’re not supposed to be his student and he’s definitely not supposed to be your teacher. you guys would quickly avert your eyes before the other students noticing what’s going on since you’re still trying to be professional. but now everything is awkward cause you’re the one who left that morning and when he asks you about it, you don’t have much of an answer other than the fact that it was just a fuck and he’s kinda taken aback but also like whatever he gets it, not like he was expecting you guys to fall in love or some shit. 

it gets harder over the semester though cause now he’s your TA and he’s gorgeous and this is your favorite subject so you have this man who looks like the greek sculptures of old talking about how society’s decrease in ethics and morality made the fall of the roman empire predictable and how the effects of it are still echoing in today’s society. like okay he’s gorgeous and smart?? you have no chance of not falling for him. it’s especially difficult sitting in class cause every time you look up at him you just remember his lips sucking on your neck and his tongue swirling on your clit so you have to keep looking away before it’s too much. 

you have no idea that he’s struggling just as much though, that every time you look at him or answer a question all he can think about was how wet and warm your pussy was when he was fucking you and that his pants start to get a bit tight which is why he goes and stands behind the podium for the rest of class. and then he sees your assignments are actually really well thought out and you’re raising points that none of the students even noticed so now he’s falling in love with your mind too? you both know the consequences of what would happen if you guys actually do this but at same time, it’s like the 10th week of the semester and you just can’t anymore

he’d know you’re a bit drunk when you walk in that day cause you’re louder than usual and your eyes aren’t as focused when he talks. but when class is over and everyone’s already left before you, your almost to the door when you stop in your tracks and just say “fuck it”. luke looks up at that and sees you coming towards him when you wrap your hands around his neck and bring his face down and smash your lips against his. his initial reaction is to grab you by the waist, bringing you closer to his chest. you gasp into his mouth when you feel his tongue at your lips but then he’s pushing you off. “we can’t do this, im your TA”. “i can’t stop thinking about you” you’d tell him breathless. “you’re drunk” he’d push away from you, running his hands through his hair. “not really and it doesn’t make it not true. i know you’ve thinking about me too.” you say walking closer to him. he looks you up and down, sighing, “if we do this….no one can know.” you smirk at that, knowing that you convinced him. “well then i guess you better lock the door” you’d say, walking towards the desk. 

moving the loose papers to the side, you lift yourself onto the desk. luke goes to the door, making sure it’s locked and that no one is in the corridor. when he turns back he sees you sitting on the edge of the desk, your skirt bunched up at your hips, and legs spread as you wait for him. he feels his cock get hard at the sight of you, one hand behind your body to hold yourself up as the other is rubbing your clit over your panties. there’s nothing slow about it when luke comes over to you, his hand on your chest as he pushes you down to lie you against the desk. he’s already gotten your panties off when he moves his hand through your folds, it’s the build up of over two months frustration coming to a peak.

“all this for me?” he’d ask you when he feels how wet you are already, barely having even touched you. “i’m always wet for you” saying that has luke dropping to his knees in front of you, moving your legs over his shoulders as he goes in. his tongue at your clit when he says “still taste just as good as i remember”. you feel two of his fingers slip inside you as he sucks on your clit, you’d arch off the desk making his arm snake over your chest to hold you down. “oh shit” coming from your lips has luke working harder, knowing you’re about to cum which was right cause a few seconds later you cum over his tongue, moaning as you fall back against the desk. breathless, your hands fall away from luke’s head as you try to slow your heart rate.

getting off the ground, luke’s hands go to undo his belt as he stares at you. you look a mess with your eyes shut and your head against the desk. your skirt is bunched up over your hips, legs spread open with your pussy out. Luke wants this view imprinted in his brain cause he knows that it’s the hottest thing he’d ever see. “take off your shirt” he’d say as he pushes his pants down. opening your eyes you see luke standing in front of you with his cock in his hand as you quickly do as youre told. 

with your shirt over your head and bra removed just as fast, luke bends over to catch a breast in his mouth while his hand goes to play with the other. your head falls back as his tongue rolls over your nipple. you snake a hand between you both to grab his cock in your fist, he moans against your breast as you start stroking him. your fingers are swirling the precum over the tip when he grabs your hand to stop you “if you don’t stop i’m gonna cum and i’d rather do that inside you, sweetheart”

luke would pull you from the desk and spin you around as he pushes down on your back so that your chest is flat against it with your feet on the ground. what you didn’t expect was a smack to your ass when you pressed your head against the desk but the vibrations go straight to your pussy, making you ache even more. after spanking you, luke would grab your ass rubbing his hands over it to soothe the pain before moving his hands to your hips and sinking into you with no warning. 

your hands are flat against the desk as luke is fucking into you, the grip on your waist so tight you know there’ll be marks when you finish. “fuck baby, you take my cock so good. can’t believe we waited this long to do this again”. when one of his hands goes down to rub your clit as he continues fucking you, you let out a loud moan making him pull you up to his chest by the throat, his hand covering your mouth as he whispers in your ear “you have to be quieter than that, darling, we don’t want anyone to know how dirty you really are.” his hand stays over your mouth as you whine against his palm, not being able to hold the sounds back when he hits your spot.

you feel your orgasm build as you start clenching around his cock. when he rubs your clit and hits the spot right one more time you come undone beneath him, a string of “oh fuck” is all you can say. he’s still fucking you as your orgasm rolls through you, getting sloppier as he chases his own release. a few more thrusts and you feel him still inside you as he cums with a groan against your ear. his hands falls from your throat as you catch yourself with the desk, your knees weak. pulling out of you, luke sees the mess you both made as he looks for napkins trying to clean you up. 

as you both get dressed, making sure that you don’t look like you just got fucked, you head to the door when you feel a hand grab your arm. luke pulls you to him as he tilts your head up and kisses you softly, “i’ll see you in class. you might wanna read chapter 6 for the assignment” you feel him smile against your lips. shaking your head at him when you push away from his chest “now isn’t it unethical to help me out?” “probably not as unethical as it is to fuck you” he’d smirk as he unlocks the door and leaves before you say anything else. 

[nerdinsomniac]

im gonna teach y’all a little bit of jewish law today, folks

Basically a friend of mine asked me last night if it was true that rabbis check a woman’s underwear once a month after her period. SO y’all are gonna learn today.

*Disclaimer--I’m not a rabbi or a married woman (aka someone actively practicing the laws im about to talk abt). However I have several years of learning under my belt, plus parents who will talk about ANYTHING relating to Jewish law, and this happens to have been one of the things that have come up both in my schooling (thanks Jewish Day School) and subsequently me clarifying a few things with my parents (thanks mom and dad)

Also, all this info obvs only pertains to religious Jews, generally Orthodox or Conservative. If you or a friend is a not religious Jew don’t assume they follow (or even know about) any of what’s in store below.

Let’s start at the beginning (que sound of music soundtrack)

1. Jewish Law forbids period sex. Why? Good question. thats one of the laws that isnt really explained at all, but the Torah and Talmud are pretty adamant about it. Bottom line, jewish couples are not allowed to have sex from that start of a woman’s period until she goes to the mikvah (ritual bath) 7 days after the end of her period, called the 7 clean days or שבע נקיים (sheva neki-im) in hebrew.

Fun fact? This seems super archaic, but all the women i’ve talked to (including teachers, women I know in my community, and my own mother) are pretty supportive of the system. While i have no experience of my own (I’m turning 20 at the end of the month, give me some time folks), these women and that one rabbi at an NCSY shabbaton (thanks rabbi) say that the halacha (law) prohibiting sex for about a week and a half gives couples a semi scheduled time to connect verbally and emotionally which improves their relationship as a whole, and some of them (not including the rabbi--he was speaking to a large group so we’ll cut him some slack) even said that that in turn enhanced their sex lives.

2. The Seven Clean Days

The seven clean days are essentially a buffer zone between when a woman is actively bleeding and when she goes to the mikvah. And this gets to the heart of the “checking women’s underwear” misconception, so lets break that down.

Truth: Women check to see if they are actively bleeding during the 7 clean days: While technically only the first and last day are absolutely necessary (so if you miss a day in the middle it’s okay), most women check every day by inserting a piece of white “bedika” (checking) cloth *up there*, pulling it out again, and seeing if there’s blood on it. Think kind of like putting in a tampon. 

Here in Israel the cloths are sold at most pharmacies, while in the rest of the world you can get them online or i assume at the mikvah or a jewish store, but I’m not sure.

False: Women then have to bring that cloth to a rabbi: Women are trusted and expected to check the cloth themselves and decide for themselves if the cloth is clean of blood. What women DO bring the cloth to a rabbi for is if they’re not sure. The blood or discharge that negates a clean day is red or dark brown, ie a sign that you’re still actively bleeding. Because (as any menstruating woman knows) your period and vaginal discharge can be any of several colors, it is at times hard to tell if the color is indicative of active bleeding and therefore you have to start the count to seven over again, or if its old blood or non-blood discharge and you can keep the count going from where you are.

False: If you have a question about whether or not your cloth is “clean”, you must take it to a male rabbi: so this one is actually a bit of a controversy within the Jewish community, but many people hold by yoatzot halacha (literally law advisors), women who are trained in matters of family law and handles these kinds of questions. there are also other programs in communities in major cities whereby women facilitate anonymous period questions and checks on behalf of other women, like Nili does in my hometown of Chicago. here’s the link to their hotline: https://www.torahchicago.org/nili-hotline.html.

3. The Mikvah

I realize I already got to the part where I answered my friend’s question, but since i hope I still have your attention, lets finish the story so to speak.

I’ll start off this way--aside from people scared about being naked in front of someone they don’t know or embarrassed to know that anyone they meet in the mikvah waiting room is probably going to be having sex that night, and knows that you’re probably gonna have sex that night, I’ve never heard about a complaint about the mikvah.

The entire operation is built like a private spa. Most appointments are scheduled far enough apart to maintain the women’s privacy, the idea being that ideally they won’t see anyone but the receptionist and the mikvah lady (I’ll explain later) before they go in. Women first are taken to a bathroom with a bath or shower, because before going into the mikvah, you gotta be clean. There are fancy soaps and shampoos, shavers, and nail polish remover (gotta take off the nail polish before you go in). Most places have fluffy towels and nice bathrobes and the like, but it really depends on where you are. When you’re done bathing, there’s usually a way to call to the receptionist to let her know that you’re ready to go in.

Soon after, the mikvah lady will come and lead you to the mikvah itself. Her job is to make sure that when you go in that every inch of you (including every strand of your hair) goes underwater. Most women turn around while you undress and only turn around again when you’re in the water, as a measure of maintaining as much privacy as possible. you then dunk, say the blessing, dunk again, say another, optional blessing, and then either get out or dunk another 1-5 times, depending on your mother’s traditions (or whoever taught you)

SUPER SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: If being naked in front of a stranger triggers trauma or extreme anxiety, talk to both a rabbi and the mikvah lady. There is a way for you to dunk without supervision (which the mikvah lady should know about and be able to teach you how to do) and the mikvah lady MUST leave and let you dunk on your own if you ask. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST!!!!!

Welp thats the end of our overview. There’s a lot more to get into here (like what exactly makes a mikvah a mikvah, the more spiritual aspect of this commandment, etc), but the goal of this post was mostly to avoid the misconception my friend, a Jewish high schooler in the same Jewish school i went to had. If any rabbis or learned women want to add or correct anything ive just said, please do... like i said in my disclaimer I’m not the most knowledgable about this subject, being that its laws do not yet pertain to me.

[freckled-girl-2319-blog]

Part 1:

The trees whipping past me in a blur as I ran through the woods, I was running away. I couldn't remember why I was running but I knew I had to. A loud rumble cut through the air and the shaking of the ground sent me flying into a fallen log. I quickly looked behind me expecting to see something chasing me yet I saw nothing. I quickly got to my feet and started to run again this time faster. Another boom sounded but I managed to stay on my feet. I broke through the woods into a clearing, my lungs burned but my body kept pushing.

"Almost to the river" I thought.

The air smelled of grass and dew mixed with the damp smell of the earth. Another boom sounded out and a crack split open right before me. I fell backwards trying to stop myself from falling in. The crack expanded as I scrambled to my feet getting up to head the other way then another boom sounded out breaking the earth behind me leaving me on a small circle of isolation. Panicking I tried to calculate if I could jump across the cracks, just as soon as the thought crossed my mind the cracks enlarged greatly to a size I could not jump across. The smell turning to burning and ashes started to float into my vision along with embers. Looking into the crack I noticed lava. I scanned my surroundings looking for a way out. The lava was rising and if I didnt find a way out I was going to die. Another boom sounded out knocking me over the edge forcing me to grab onto the ledge, holding on for dear life. My fingers were slipping due to the wet grass from morning dew. I kicked my feet trying to find something to get my feet hooked in, anything that could possibly save me from falling. The lava was getting closer and my fingers were close to falling. I saw a flash of lightning and closed my eyes knowing what's next to come. I willed something or someone to come and help me. When the last boom sounded out I fell screaming. I could smell and feel the heat of the lava drawing closer.

I sprang up taking in deep breaths. My clothes were soaked with sweat as if the lava had really been close making me sweat. My head fell into my palms as I tried to calm myself. I've had the same dream every night for the past week, each night the dream went longer and added new parts. I couldn't help but feel the dream had something to do with my burning today.

A knock on my door startled me.

"Owen, honey its time to get up" my mother called in a cheery voice. "Its your burning day!" She cheered walking away from the door.

I slowly got out of bed. My legs felt like jelly and my heart was about to burst from my chest. I slowly walked out of my room making my way downstairs for breakfast with my mother. I walked into the kitchen to find a place setting for my mom, my father, me, and disturbingly my little brother. I stared at the plate set out for my little brother. A new chair accompanying the table for him.

My mom walked in to see me staring at the spot.

"I didnt mean to upset you or anything...I just think that he deserves to be apart of this day. He is your brother." My mother whispered.

I walked over to his place setting and ran my fingers down his plate as if just touching the plate would allow my brother back into this world.

"Its ok, I think thats a good idea." I whispered giving my mom a forced smile, walking over and giving her a kiss on the cheek. My mom gave out a sigh of relief and her face broke into a large smile.

My mom quickly changed the subject to something cheerier. "Your father will be home soon. He got the day off of course. Nobody not even the King could keep your father away on this day." 

Smiling I asked my mom if she needed any help to which she replied no shooing me upstairs to get ready for my big day.

As I was getting ready I heard my dad come through the door. I hurriedly got ready so I could see my dad faster. Racing down the stairs I reached my dad who was smiling big and holding my mom.

"Happy burning day son." My dad said with a grin. I ran to hug my dad breathing in his scent. Both my mom and dad specialized in weather spells. They both smelled like rain and snow. I grinned up at my dad who tried scooting his way to the kitchen for breakfast. Upon seeing my brothers sitting place his smile changed to a wistful one. He brought my mom and I closer and laughed.

"Why dont we get to eating? The food smells ravishing." We all quickly sat except mom who went to the kitchen to get milk and coffee. Dad was rarely home and when he was it usually wasn't for long. I talk to my parents about everything so my dad and I have a lot to catch up on.

"So Owen, how is everything?" My father asked.

"Well... I've been having these...dreams" I started. My father looked at me strangely.

"Dreams...what kind of dreams." My father asked not understanding why I brought this up.

"They are dreams I've never had before and I've never experienced any dreams like this ever." I was getting a little worried that my parents would think I'm crazy or brush it off as nothing.

"Son...when a boy..a man gets older they experience changes...and whatever your experiencing in your dreams are normal and its a completely natural thing." My father started. I looked at him confused.

"You dont really think!" My mom gasped and looked at me then my dad again. "He's having..wet dreams?" My mother whispered even though I could clearly here her. Now I was just embarrassed.

"No! That's not what I was talking about!" I exclaimed embarrassed.

"Son there's nothing to be embarrassed about, it happens to everyone. When I was your age-" I cut him off.

"Dad I was talking about a different sort of dream! My dreams are more like nightmares, really vivid nightmares!" I explained. My dad and mom looked at me serious, then started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. My dad went back to eating his food.

"Don't worry about it Owen, the dreams have to do with your specialty." My dad chuckled. I felt confused and clearly it showed on my face because my dad brushed it off again.

"It happens to everyone Owen dont worry about it." My dad stated. My mom and dad went on to a different conversation.

I nodded my head slowly and started to eat my food. We all joked and laughed, swapping story's of the two weeks my dad has been gone.

When breakfast was over my dad cleaned up as my mom and I went upstairs to get her ready. Just as we picked out a dress for my mom, my phone went off.

Mac: Dude, come to the park and bring snacks I'm hungry

Reading the message I laughed.

"Love you mom, Im going to bring Mac food." I laughed. I kissed my mom goodbye and grabbed the keys to leave saying a quick goodbye to dad. Making my way over to the park stopping at a convenience store for Mac's snacks. When I arrived at the park I saw Mac sitting on the swings playing on his phone. There were a few kids playing on the jungle gym while the parents sat on benches chatting and watching their kids. I took a seat next to Mac swinging myself a little bit. I tossed the food to Mac and watched his face light up.

Mac looked at me grinning. "Your the best!" He exclaimed digging into his food.

I chuckled."Yeah, whatever"

I watched Mac eat his food, patiently waiting for him to finish.

"Are yah ready for your burning?" Mac questioned, finishing his food.

I smiled at him."I'm excited, but no defiantly not ready."

"I understand, I was the same way when I thought about it, actually more nauseous than anything." He shrugged. "Nothing to worry about, it doesnt hurt too much."

I gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Oh yeah, that makes me feel better."

Mac smiled at me. "Dont get sarcastic with me or you'll regret it." He smerked. "Besides, I wasn't trying to scare you or anything. I mean its called a burning its gonna hurt a little at least."

"I didnt really think about it..." I admitted looking at the children playing. "You know I kinda dont want to be a weather specialist." I whispered.

"You don't?" Mac looked at me puzzled. "I mean I support you and everything, but its not like you have a choice."

I looked at him trying not to look annoyed. "I know I can't choose, but I'm really hoping I'm not. If I am that's tons of pressure, not only to be great and get a good job, but also to marry another weather specialist. I want to marry who I want for love not to breed for more weather magicians." I complained. "Also weather magic isn't that powerful and if-". Mac interrupted me.

"I know you want to avenge your brother and weather magic doesnt seem like the right magic to use." I nodded, agreeing with him. Mac was someone who could understand my need to avenge my brother. If I didnt avenge my brother then I would feel like that one moment would control my whole life, make me think back and feel horrible about the fact that I could do nothing.

Mac's face broke out into a smile.

"Why don't we go back to your house and prank your dad? Call it a welcome home present." He smiled deviously.

Smerking I nodded my head, jumping from my swing and throwing Mac's trash away.

When we arrived at my house I watched as Mac sneakinly climbed into my window. We couldn't let my parents know he was here, that would ruin the prank. I walked into my house, trying to act as natural as possible.

"Honey, your back. I was wondering if you could help-" I interuppted my mom.

"Sorry, I'm feeling a little tired so I'm going to take a nap to refresh for my big day." I lied.

"Of course. I'll just ask your dad." She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left to find my dad. I arrived in my room to find Mac laying across my bed on his side with one of his hands propped up to be on his head and the other on his hip. He was smerking greatly.

"Owen, paint me like your one of your French girls." He exclaimed while striking a pose. I laughed and shut my door. Mac wiggled his eyebrows at me before sitting up into a normal position.

"Let's make up a master plan." He said deviously while tapping his fingers together like a corny villian in a kids cartoon. I scoffed and sat next to him giving his head a little push.

"My dad is helping my mom do something so we have enough time to think of something good." I explained. "And it can't be anything we have already done. So things like glue and pillow feathers, or paint on the door frame, are out of the question."

Mac pretended to put a thinking cap on, and made a very concentrated face.

"Well we could do a smack cam?" Mac questioned.

"Smack cam?"

"Well you'll call your dad upstairs to like help you with something and I'll be waiting in like the closet or something and he'll come in and I'll have a plate full of shaving dream and I'll smack it in his face." Mac explains rather quickly.

"That sounds messy......let's do it!" I exclaimed.

Mac jumped up with his fists in the air in a silent cheer.

"Great! Now go get the stuff but act inconspicuously. We dont want to be found out."

I snuck my way downstairs, my mom and dad nowhere in sight. I quickly grabbed the stuff and ran back upstairs.

Mac's face lit up when he saw the supplies. We got everything ready and Mac was taking his place in my closet.

"Oh hey!! Look at that, back in the closet where I belong!" Mac joked and winked at me. Laughing I closed the closet and called for my dad to come up.

I was in my bathroom pretending to be concerned about the shower.

"What do you need?" My dad called through my bedroom door.

"Come in." I called. "I need help with the shower, something's not right." My dad made his way in looking accusingly at me.

"What did you do to it?" He questioned making his way over. Just as he was going to pass the closet Mac jumped out and smacked my dad right in the face with the shaving cream. I started to laugh as my dad stood there shocked, then a smile broke out on his face. He started walking towards me. With his hands outstretched to grab me. I turned around and grabbed the shower head and pointed it at me dad.

"Dont come any closer or you'll regret it." I said laughing. He didnt stop getting closer so I turned the water on. My dad quickly ducked out of the way and the water sprayed Mac. Mac looked at me with a glare. Then grabbed the shaving cream. They both came towards me.

"No guys stop this isn't fair, it was Mac's idea." I pleaded, neither of them listened because then I was tackled and covered with shaving cream. We all looked at each other and started laughing.

My mom came in to see what all the ruckus was about and chuckled at the sight, instantly knowing what happened.

"Alright, boys its time to get going, All if you get cleaned up." My mom laughed. I instantly quieted down, anxiety creeping into my body as I thought about how the next few hours would go. Apparently I looked terrified cause Mac gave me a tap on my shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"I'll be here for yah."

I gave him a nervous smile. "Thanks."

We all got cleaned up and then loaded up into my moms small car and headed to the inner walls. Since my dad was a guard I was to have my burning in the inner walls of the castles surrounding ones.

The ride there was filled with my mom and dad's excited chatter of me specializing in weather magic. Mac and I were very quiet on the way there. Every now and I then I caught Mac looking at me with concern, no doubt making sure I was ok.

As we drew closer to the burning centre my anxiety got worse. I imagined the worse case scenarios. I imagined the burning not going right and I ultimately died from severe burns. I also imagined not being a weather specialist and my parents being not only disappointed but also disowning me, yelling at me wishing my brother was the one who lived. I also imagined being a weather specialist and going through life knowing that all my choices are already made for me.

Mac noticed me starting to freak out and grabbed my hand, a weird jesture but oddly calming. He gave my hand a reasurring squeeze and smiled.

He whispered softly to me as if trying not to scare a little bunny. "It'll be ok Del. I promise." The use of my nickname made me smile. Mac was actually a nickname, not actually my friends really name. His real name was Nuada, but we all just used his middle name. Mac was Irish so his name was hard to pronounce.

"Thanks Mac, just nervous that's all."

Mac squeezed my hand again in reassurance. The car came to a stop and my parents called for us to get out. Mac let go off my hand and started to get out. I sighed getting out of the car, my hand still tingly from Mac's grip. We all walked to where the burning centre was. The equipment looked like the really old 'witch burning' pits from old human stories. I shivered thinking of burning to death while everyone I knew watched unaware that something was wrong.

A middle aged women and two men who looked like bodyguards walked up to us smiling.

"Now which one of you is Owen?" The lady smiled. I timidly stepped forward, and gave an awkward wave.

"Uh...me."

The lady smiled knowingly. "Of course you are. Come this way, only one person is aloud with you from now on. Everyone else will have to wait." My parents looked at me telling me to make the decision. My parents didnt tell me I could have a person with me, they actually didnt tell me much. When Mac's burning day came around he was by himself. I was confused and in a daze, scared by the burning and just wanted to be comforted.

"Mac...please." I pleaded, hoping he would accept.

My parents didnt look the least bit surprised or even disappointed. Mac smiled at me wrapping his arm around my shoulder, trying to calm me down. The lady smiled and started to walk away, Mac and I followed waving my parents goodbye.

"Its ok, just breath." Mac whispered, rubbing my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down. "We dont want you having a panic attack, right?"

I nodded trying to keep my breathing steady. Mac was a person I trusted and I  could easily show my signs of distress. I didnt have panic attacks frequently but when I did they were very intense.

The lady took us to a room where they had laid out paint and other ritual items. Two younger ladies who looked about 14 were waiting for us.

"Ok, Jennet and Beatrice will take care of your symbols and get you ready. Now Mac can stay with you until you get tied to the burning stake, then he will be as close to you as possible." This time it was me who grabbed Macs hand, I squeezed his hand while staring at the floor. "Then right after Mac will be brought to you. We will try to make you as comfortable as we can." The lady gave a reassuring smile that I caught from the corner of my eye.

"Thanks, he is just nervous." Mac said politely. The lady left the room being very quiet. I stood in the same spot for a few seconds. The two ladies walked towards me.

"Hey, Owen? Right?" I nodded. "I'm Jennet, I promise that itll be ok. Just come over to the table we will get you ready and Mac will come over too. Ok?" I nodded again making my way over to the table. The ladies gestured for me to sit on what looked like a doctors table. I sat and waited for them to grab their supplies. They carefully drew the symbols on my face. A symbol for each specialty. When the burning happens the symbols change into whichever one the person will specialize in. Then you just have a bunch of the same symbols on your face. It can't get any clearer than that.

Mac smiled at me.

"What are you looking at?" I questioned wierded out.

"You look like a very good sacrifice." He laughed. I did not find this as amusing. Giving him my best glare, I silently flipped him off. He just laughed.

"I'm sure something will come to gobble you up! Maybe a vampire or a demon." Mac laughed making 'scary' jestures with his hands.

[drews-diary]

21.08.19

today’s diary entry is gonna be weird. also hi, its been a while. a few days ago, i learned that the fourteen year old i tutor has a boyfriend. and while that is a perfectly reasonable age to have a boyfriend i just cant get over the fact that someone born in 2007 is already capable of typing let alone dating. I remember when my friends little brother who was also born in 2007 was crawling around and cried cuz he hit his head on the table. but to be fair that didnt really bother me too much as i always felt as though i was stagnant and things around me were the ones always changing. 

But then today i was listening to taylor swift’s old albums cuz i was feeling nostalgic and i listened to fifteen from the fearless album that came out back in 2009 and i realized that she released that song when she was around twenty which means she probably wrote in when she was in her teens writing about how she knows so much more than she did back when was starting high school that she wish she could tell her younger self. and i remembered listening to that album as a child and expecting myself to feel the same by the time i became an adult. yet here i am at 21 no thoughts head empty. and i realized that even if i met 15 year old me there is next to nothing i would want to tell her because i still feel like i am more or less still the same ignorant uninformed person. the only thing i would tell her is to stop fucking around and focus on school. 

i feel like i dont have as much experience as the other people around me. I never used to care that i’ve never been romantically involved with someone, but i always thought it would happen eventually when i got to college but a three semesters have passed and i have yet to take a single class on campus. 

to be completely honest the only reason i am even fever writing this right now is because i had a ice cream blending cold brew from starbucks this evening because i had to get up excruciatingly early for class registration (which i completely failed at) and had three tutoring classes today meaning i didnt have time for my daily afternoon nap so the coffee was the only thing making sure i didnt fall asleep during my last class. I purposely dont drink coffee regularly so that i can use it like a magic potion when i need it and the caffeine hits me like a bus. it has been six hours and i am still wide-eyed i should not have gotten a grande. today was also my first time trying coldbrew so there’s that. i was kinda grateful for the effects because it made sure i was awake for today’s episode of hospital playlist but now i kinda wanna sleep since i didnt get much last night and i would like to make sure i dont miss my class tomorrow morning, i have to get up at at least ten, but here i am typing this.and i think i am just going to keep going.

my family moved recently, and for the time being my entire room is surrounded by bookshelves because my brother’s bed is too big and we cant fix any bookshelves into his room and i am only using a mattress topper thing for the next few months. this is because i finally convinced my mom to let me throw out that horrid bed with the curved head and foot board with the flower decorations that always dug into the back of my head, neck, and back when i was trying to read. so that is the situation in my room until the end of the year when hopefully my brother’s whole situation will be over and we can finally go furniture shopping and switch rooms. (we are also currently living in each other’s room because his permanent room aka my current room cannot fit his fucking gigantic boat bed. actually i really love that bed i wish he was still young enough to use it its so cute.

i find our new neighborhood unsettling. like its probably because i got so attached to our old house that we lived in for nine years but i dont know. the place we moved to is a location that i used to spend some time in when we first moved to korea but i literally havent been here in nine years as mentioned earlier, and i am slowly piecing my memories of the geography as well as blending it with the incredibly limited knowledge i have of the nearby surroundings that i built riding the bus and when i was learning to drive because the school that i went to is kind of near our new place. anyways to get back to the subject this new neighborhood is full of too many happy families with these little kids that run around with their sticky little fingers flailing around. like hello we are still in the middle of a global pandemic i swear to god parents of little kids will go loose their minds when their children get sick yet they let them just run around spreading their disgusting little disease to the rest of us. ugh i hate kids. but thats besides the point the reason i think the new neighborhood feels dystopian is because all of the families, children and the elders too (why are there so many elders like i dont hate them or anything most of them are fine but like where are they all coming from?) look so happy. where are the depressed high schoolers and burnt out college students? my brother and i dont seem to have any friends in this bitch. anyways so the sheer amount of happiness that seems to radiate around me reminds me of books and movies like the giver you know or like the uglies series where you start off in this utopian-esque world until you find out that it is actually fake. its unsettling. 

okay now i am kind of tired good night. wait also the public transportation at our new place fucking sucks i know it’s pretty good by regular standards but i am used to subway stations, convenience stores, cafes and bus stops all being 30 seconds away from the entrance of my building. okay the bus stop took more like two minutes but whatever. and buses used to come every five minutes but now i have to walk at least ten minutes to the nearest subway station and the bus stops only have three buses and even those take so fucking long to arrive and they dont even arrive when they say they will they are always late which is why i end up fucking walking twenty minutes to the subway station because that way at least i can guarantee that i am not going to be completely late. unreliable ass buses.

fuck there’s a lot i dont like about my new neighborhood. oh wait we are also far from malls now i have to walk like half an hour to get to the nearest mall when at our old house i only had to walk ten minutes and the mall close to our new house is worse than the old one. this one’s movie theatre isnt even famous. but dont get me wrong i guess there are things i like about our new place like how you can call the elevator from inside the house or how there’s a gym and the fact that i now have ac in my room. i am just being a brat because i really loved our old house. it was perfect. even if i felt as though i was being burned alive during the summers sometimes. i also like my new blinds that let in light in the shape of constellations. 

i dont currently have a desk in my room so i dont know what im going to do when school starts again in a few weeks i guess i’ll have to take my lecture on the floor or maybe on the kitchen table idk.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

kick back vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++

the song she sings are original lyrics by me, there will be a screenshot of the whole thing in the comments/reblogs if you would like to see it all. there is no sheet music, i am not a musician, but the lyrics are all my own and subject to copyright (/11/06/20/). thanks for understanding

Song: sorry haha I fell asleep by egg

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee +++++++++

I looked down at my phone as it rang for the eighth time today. It was Vinny. Again. Couldn't he take the hint? He thought he wanted me but I knew he didn't. How could he? Clearly he wouldn't let it go though. I rolled my eyes and went to put my phone back down when it dinged. He didn't call this time. It was actually a text.

"I know you're ignoring me but I'm gonna keep trying, i told you how i feel and thats not gonna change. Also a heads up, I'll see you on tour."

My eyes went wide before I immediately called our band manager.

"Just the person I wanted to talk to."

She said fairly chipper.

"Tell me we aren't."

I said sternly.

"What?"

She sounded confused.

"Tell me we aren't touring with motionless."

She laughed a little.

"Why would I tell you that? Of course you guys are. isnt it exciting?"

My mouth dropped.

"Why?!"

"Um, because it's good publicity? their manager called me yesterday and asked if you wanted to collab on something too so i hope youve been writing. but back to tour. They are doing a short spring tour, just a few weeks. i figured you were the best breakout band on my label."

She seemed very happy. I sighed into the receiver.

"Dawn their drummer has been calling and texting me for two weeks straight."

She paused.

"Okay?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"He has been trying to get me to go out with him for two weeks straight."

"Oh!"

She said.

"Then what's the problem?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Ya know what, actually there's no problem. this is a great opportunity for our career. When are we starting?"

"Great! I have to call the rest of the girls but you start February third."

I nodded.

"Okay. Two months away. I can put this off till then."

I said more to myself.

"Well dear I've got to go, I'll talk to you when the posters come out."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat on the ground outside the bus and strummed my guitar lightly. id been in contact with all the girls from our band and all the motionless guys for our new song together since i got the call from dawn two months ago but things werent coming out as good as wed hoped. so here i was still working on it, by myself. the thing is though the song was supposed to be out by the end of tour and yet here we all were, one week in and still nothing. i couldnt even focus on the task at hand. i had to much other shit running through my mind.

"that sounds pretty."

i heard from behind me and stiffened my body.

"thanks, ive been trying to find new chords for the song."

i said as vinny came into view.

"well i think it sounds great, when i read through the lyrics you had so far i wasnt really sure how heavy it would end up being but i kinda like that."

he said, moving to sit in front of me. i nodded.

"it will be heavier but my brain wont let me right now."

i said, dropping my hands to my lap. he nodded back.

"well what you have so far sounds beautiful anyways."

i stared at the ground, tapping my fingers lightly against the guitar.

"actually vin, this isnt for the collab. its actually for you and the only reason i cant finish the other song is because im lost."

he raised a brow.

"its for me?"

i sighed.

"i dont exactly know how to talk to you anymore so i figured a song would be easier but its really not."

i said through a nervous laugh.

"ive been meaning to talk to you about that actually."

i shook my head.

"you dont have-"

"no, i do."

he said, sending me a look.

"i shouldve taken the hint in December but i thought that if i persisted then maybe youd see how much i meant what i said. but i guess somewhere along the line i got annoying. hell i know, i did, i was annoying myself. then when you started texting me back, even though it was just about the new song, i was excited. it meant i could still talk to you even if it was just business."

"vin i-"

"please, just listen for a second."

i cleared my throat and nodded.

"okay, lay it on me."

he took a deep breath.

"i want you to know that i did mean what i said, i do really like you and i want to try something, a relationship, casual dates, hell even just hanging out. maybe you dont want more, and thats fine. but i still want you in my life and i want you to know that i do care about you. even if you have been ignoring me on purpose."

i frowned.

"vin i dont know how to do this."

i said, motioning between us.

"all my past relationships have crashed and burned and i dont know how to move on form that. i dont want to have to change who i am again."

he shook his head.

"you dont- you would never have to do that. i like you the way you are, and i want to prove that to you."

i sent him a look.

"no, you like who ive created for you. thats not me. im not carefree and easy going, and agreeable. im pig headed and strongly opinionated and i have a loud mouth."

i said with a laugh. he smiled back at me which i wasnt quite expecting.

"i dont care about all that. i care about you, whether you think youve created someone for me or not. give me stubborn. give me opinionated and loud. hell even give me furious at times. i know thats the real you and yet im still trying. cant you see that?"

i bit the inside of my cheek and thought for a second. then i looked down started strumming again lightly.

"im sorry for making things harder, i never meant to make it this far."

i began singing lightly.

"you dont deserve this mess of a person, i just keep making things hard."

i looked to him and he was staring at me intently.

"we've made it this far, i cant believe youre still around. i thank the heavens cause if not id be six feet down"

i closed my eyes, swaying back and forth as i played.

"Im sorry for making things harder, you dealt with this before. If i make it up to you somehow, we wont have to waste our time no more."

i said softly, over the guitar before stopping and looking at him.

"its not quite done yet."

i said a little shy. he sent me a small smile.

"i love you."

he said and my face went straight. i watched as he scooted his way closer to my side.

"ill always be here for you, no matter how we move forward."

i looked to my lap for a second before looking back to him. he was staring at me longingly.

"i think i love you too vin."

i said, barely above a whisper. he looked between my eyes before his hand moved to graze my cheek. i couldnt help moving into him. before i knew what was happening i was kissing him lightly, his hand going to the back of my head to hold me to him. when he pulled away he had a huge smile on his face.

"the song sounds great by the way."

i laughed a little at that, feeling a blush creep its way to my face as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"our little atypical love song."

[ive-made-a-mystic-mistake]

Can I have an MC with really bad anxiety? Like not social but more like she cant even sit in her bed alone in the dark? You're doing really great so far, keep up the good work!

of course! also thank you!!!

i always get motivated for this one in the middle of an anxiety attack lolololol

TOTALLY NOT LISTENING TO HALLOWEEN MUSIC TO MAINTAIN MOTIVATION 

zen

it was a quiet night 

you had just had the busiest week of a hectic month 

so you got a little clingier with zen

he enjoyed it happy to have some relax time

the phone was ringing in the other room making zen have to leave to grab it

this already made you nervous 

who was calling in the middle of the night

with zen gone you didn’t feel safe

at any gust of wind you jumped 

at any creak in the house you jumped 

any noise sent your anxiety off

you couldn’t stop thinking of what could happen

you were so deep in your thoughts you didn’t notice zen in the kitchen

he suddenly dropped a glass and you couldn’t stop you anxiety

you thought unknown was going to get you again and you started to cry and hyperventilate

you just couldn’t control your thoughts

luckily zen noticed and came over to you and pulled you close

“hey babe I’m here! i just dropped a glass I’m sorry it scared you!”

you just hug him tightly thankful it wasn’t who you thought it was

you just cry for a bit shaking 

he whispers sweet words to you rubbing your back comforting you

he knows about your anxiety as he probably had to help comfort you 

yoosung 

you two were playing a horror game of your own request which was surprising to him

it was mainly to do with the fact you were tired of feeling like a burden

you were doing great albeit your anxiety making you stiff as a board

you were really fighting it

you just cant do getting chased or jump scares

after the first game you are feeling confident even though you are shaking badly 

yoosung was too

he was allowed to pick the game tho

he happens to love the thrill of jumpscares 

its that boost of energy for school lololol 

he pick five nights at freddy’s

you falter

you start playing shaking so much 

with his help you get to the second night 

you try and alternate between him taking over when a jumpscare is near 

and this works till like the 4th night 

when you all get distracted 

theres suddenly a jump scare that makes you scream 

you curl in on yourself shaking and crying mind wandering making it worse

doesn’t help you like to look up the theories and then you get freaked out

you then are thinking about how stupid it is that a game is making you freak out but he doesn’t think so

he grabs his favorite blanket and his hoodie that you love

he rushes to get tea going and he quickly puts on cute animal videos while you are at the compute and has you get up so you can both sit there

you on his lap

this helps distract you and you laugh sniffling at the silly kittens

next thing you know you are asleep on him and he doesnt know what to do 

jaehee

your school has really been taking a toll on you

you never thought how hard it would be to major in theater 

sweats nervously

you have to practice a monologue but you also have all you academic work to do

as you are working on it you check the time and how much is left 

its now 3 in the morning and barely finished and you still have that monologue to practice that’s due tomorrow

you start thinking of the worst and begin to shake crying silently 

jaehee wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for the fact you dropped a glass by accident trying to calm down

that made it worse because now you think thats more work and how it upset jaehee

but she simply cleans up the mess and gives you slippers in case any stray glass got anywhere 

she makes some tea for you to calm down and gets you a blanket and plays some recordings of zen singing because that’s what helps her 

she gives you a hug and a kiss and makes sure you are ok and decides to help you with the work

jumin

you were in the penthouse playing with Elizabeth while he was at work

you were having an amazing time till the power went out

you completely freeze up 

you werent aware that you werent breathing till you needed to breathe again

you were just frozen

you shut your eyes tightly like you were taught when you were younger when scared of the dark 

you didnt have a blanket to hide under and you didnt want to move

you were thinking of all the things that could be lurking in the dark and start rocking crying 

elizabeth worries about yoy and brushes against you meowing and you sit crisscross applesauce so she can sit on your lap

you peat her and she purrs comforting you 

suddenly the door is opened making a loud noise and she runs to greet the familiar face but it just made your anxiety worse

you rock again thinking its someone whos going to kill or kidnapp you for being the heirs wife

“sweetheart? its me jumin? your husband?”

he goes over to her with a flash light and he sits down next to you pulling you into his chest whispering to you to calm you down planting kisses to your temples 

you hug him tightly glad to have him right now

the power comes back on and you don’t want to let go

hes fine with this

707

you were on the computer writing things on tumblr 

when suddenly its hacked 

you cant get all these freaky things of your computer and you are panicking crying

there were quiet a few nsfw things 

some of which hit a few triggers 

you scream for seven 

he had been teaching you computer things but your anxiety wont let you think clearly 

you keep telling yourself that if you were  calmer you can fix it and not need his help

when he comes rushing in you try to explain and he pushes up his glasses telling you hes serious thankfully 

you are still panicking though anxiety running rampant in your head 

you feel bad because he deals with his brothers mental illnesses enough he doesnt have to deal with yours but he honestly doesnt mind 

he shuts down you computer and takes a part out of the computer it self

“well you couldn’t of fixed this it’s well hacked but has been for a while so we need to fix that but that can wait”

he says this knowing you used many unimportant accounts on that computer under his request

hes gets some tea going and wraps you in his jacket taking his headphones off playing relaxing nature sounds he knows helps you from watching your youtube history

and he just hold you close playing with your hair for a while

you are finally calm and he feels like a hero because he got to help you and saeran today 

“im not called god 7 for no reason” 

you smack him and just hug him

unknown

you were sitting on the bed with him and bad memories that cause anxiety hit

you normally try to handle it on your own away from him because he needs more help in you mind

but you just cant stop it 

you and shaking badly trying to get the thoughts to go away 

you hold your head desperate to calm down and rock

at this point he notices and knows whats going on and he pulls you close rocking 

“hey you should tell me you go through it too i can help you like you help me…”

you just hug him and he hums slightly playing with your hair

its the most relaxing sound you’ve heard and you quickly calm down

“so what caused it?”

“i remembered what we went through to both be here where we are now”

he just looks sad and understanding now realizing it scarred you too

later he gets you flowers 

v

you have one dark thought and you jump straight to the thought that you are becoming rika

this of course freaks you out and anxiety comes to say hi and try to spend the night

not today satan

your mind goes through all the ways you could possibly be rika 

you curl up freaking out shaking and crying wanting to stay away from v so he doesnt find out you are “rika v2.o”

its too late 

he rushes to you trying to see if you are ok 

when you tell him you are worried you are gonna become rike he gives you this long talk about how you are nothing like her

hes just sitting next to you and he tells you to talk about your favorite subject to calm down

you choose art and he and you just chat about it for ages till you realize you are calm 

you tell him hes fucking magic 

“no haha i just did research”

you give him a smooch and say no you are fucking magic and he just laughs nodding 

i hope this is ok? its like 4 in the morning and ive been suffering from con depression all day and plus i havent done an imagine in A G E S sorry for that writers block is a bitch

[okc-witha-bullet-moved]

The Test

Dawn x Ogie

Oneshot

A.K.A The Pregnant one

@summerkid423 IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Will fucking tumblr just fucking post this already

She was running late. For the third time that week she was late for work. She knew Jenna would understand. She had been sick for the past couple of days but she didn't know why. Jenna and Becky were the only ones who could tell she was ill, being she didn't play with Lulu between orders like she usually did.

But today was different.Today she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Not when Ogie woke her up for breakfast, not when her alarm to start getting ready for work went off, and not when her alarm that meant it was time for her to leave went off. So. Yes. She was late and very late at that, being they lived at least a half hour from the diner.

She finally managed to drag herself out of bed and get dressed. Pulling her hair up into her signature half up look. Smiling to herself softly. Despite her lacking any motivation at all she still had her cheery stature. Ogie had left already. She knew because he asked her if she was feeling ok before he left. Not only that but he usually leaves at least 10 minutes before her anyway so that he can stop to get coffee on the way to work. Sometimes she'd ask him to stay and to just stop at the diner to get coffee, but he was too set in his ways.

She hurried out of the house quickly getting and her car and literally speeding trying not to be later than she already was. Getting to the diner and rushing in putting her stuff in the store room and putting on her apron and rushing out to start working the tables. Only to have Jenna stop her as she was getting to work. "You're late." "I know I overslept." "Lies. Ogie wakes you up when he gets up." "Ok, then Ogie overslept." "Ogie never oversleeps." "Why do you know my life better than I do?!" "This is the third time this week Dawn." She sighed.

"I know Jenna. I don't know whats going on. I've been so sick lately and I'm exhausted 90 percent of the day I can't sleep my feet hurt and- OH MY GOD AM I DYING." Jenna chuckled. "I don't think you're dying Dawn." "I'm dying! It's the only explanation!" "You aren't dying, Dawn!" "I've come down with some internal disease that you can't get rid of!" Becky laughed.

"Does the damsel think she's dying again." Jenna nodded. "Although I've got a hunch that that isn't whats goin on." Dawn pouted. "If you aren't gonna stop being so vague I'm gonna go start working."  With that, she left them. Working her tables for the rest of the day until it was time to leave. Unknowingly the subject of conversation between Jenna and Becky all day. So she headed home. Not knowing of the plot against her.

There was a good hours difference between the time she got home and the time Ogie got home so she had a little time to relax and read. (The thought of her having an internal illness was still in her head) Ogie was running a little late but not late but not late enough to make her worry. So she began to make dinner him coming in just short of a half hour later than usual coming into the kitchen and kissing her on the cheek smiling widely.

"What're you grinning about?" Ogie smiled wider. "A new position just opened up in the office ahead of ours." She smiled. "You gonna apply?" He nodded. "Well, the pay is better and it's practically the same job with a different title." She nodded hoping he wouldn't try to explain because she didn't very well understand what his job was in the first place.

"What are you making?" He asked the smell of food very strong in the air. "Chicken parm." She smiled. "Sounds good! So are you sure you're feeling ok? You wouldn't get out of bed this morning??" She nodded opting out of the fact she thinks she's dying. "I'm Fine Ogie. Honest." He nodded kissing her cheek. "I just wanna make sure." "I know. But, I'm fine." "Ok."

She smiled and went on cooking and he watched helping by handing her something when she needed it. Until dinner was done and they sat in the living room eating (and watching the history channel of course) After watching a few episodes of 'History's Mysteries' she got into the shower and they both went to bed falling asleep rather quickly.

The next morning she made a purpose to get up when Ogie woke her. That way he wouldn't worry. That way they got back on schedule. She smiled following the guidance of her alarms and heading to work on time at which she was greeted by a smirking Jenna and giggling Lulu. She smiled at them.

"And what are you giggling about little one?" Lulu shrugged still smiling. "Still think you're dying Dawn?" Jenna chuckled smiling at her daughter. "Yes! I do! Don't patronize me!" Jenna smiled. "I'm not patronizing you, Dawn. I just think its funny you don't see what is obviously going on." "I know whats going on I'm dying. It's the only explanation!" "Dawn there isn't an internal illness with those symptoms!" Dawn frowned. "Then whats going on?!" Jenna set Lulu down and smiled. "You ever think you might be pregnant Dawn?" She blushed deeply. "W-What?? N-No? Why would you think that I'm just dying thats it. Nothing more nothing less." Thats when Becky stepped into the shop. "You Break the news to the damsel of stress yet?"

"She won't listen to me, Becky." "Because it isn't true!" Becky laughed. "Come one girl don't fight me like Jenna did." "What do you mean I'm not avoiding the issue I'm dying. Thats all!" Cal then walked in which caused Becky and Jenna to practically drag Dawn to the bathroom. "Come on! We gotta get ready to open up!" Jenna laughed. "Dawn you seem to forget we don't open up until I say we do nowadays." Dawn sighed. "Fine then but what are we doing in here?" Becky then proceeded to pull a pregnancy test out of her apron causing Dawn's blush to deepen.

"DO YOU JUST ALWAYS HAVE THOSE IN YOUR APRON OR SOMETHING?!" Becky shrugged handing her the test as Jenna pushed her into the stall. They then proceeded to block the stall door so she wouldn't crawl out from under it. (They knew her pretty well at this point.) She groaned realizing what they had done. "Fine I'll take your stupid test but it's not gonna be positive." She pouted proceeding to use the test knocking on the door for them to let her out when she was done. Which they did and Jenna set a timer. Dawn pulled herself up to sit on the counter of the sink pulling her knees to her chest hiding her face and Becky comfortingly rubbed her shoulder trying to bring at least some peace to her mind.

Unlike Jenna's this time it was completely silent. With Dawn a pregnancy was not unwelcome, nor unwanted but unplanned was something different. Dawn is a person who relies on things being planned so when something unexpectedly changes she freaks out. Even if that change is a happy one, and those fifteen minutes were among the slowest of her life. By the time the alarm rang Jenna was sitting on the counter with her rocking her back and forth as an attempt to calm her nerves.

When the alarm rang she curled up even further into herself. She didn't want to look. Yet she did want to look. Part of her was excited, part of her was afraid and denying it. Jenna pulled away from her slightly and she let her legs fall from the counter slowly getting down from where she was seated. She held her breath picking it up her hands trembling. She couldn't bring herself to look at it. She wanted to she wanted to know more than anything.

"You okay honey?" Becky put a hand on her shoulder and she nodded. "I just don't know if I'm ready for the truth or not." "Dawn it'll be okay. I thought it was gonna be the end of the world when I found out. Yet it's the best thing thats ever happened to me. Dawn just look down and you'll know." She nodded feeling her chest fill with anxiety. Looking down at the small tester in her hands, Becky and Jenna looking over her shoulder.

She smiled softly seeing the dual lines as Jenna hugged her tightly. Becky responding with. "Girl we told you!!" She shook her head in disbelief unable to stop herself from smiling. A million thing was running through her mind until it stopped at one. "Ogie! I have to tell him! I've gotta call him! I-" "Dawn you can't just do something like that over the phone." Jenna snorted. "I should have it probably would have saved me a lot of trouble." At which Becky smacked her arm. "Come on Dawnrising you can think of something better than doing it over the phone." She nodded.

"I can but its gonna take a little time to put together... Jenna, do you mind if I?" Jenna nodded. "Of course not Dawn go!" She smiled hugging both of them tightly. "Thank you!" She left quickly heading to the store to grab a few things before heading home. Quickly going to the closet and pulling out a journal that Ogie had bought her at Monticello when they went on their anniversary and a wax stamp and sealing wax they got at Mt. Vernon getting an envelope from the office she got to work. A couple hours later she was done. She sealed the wax stamp and set the envelope on the bed where she knew Ogie would see it when he went to change out of his work clothes as he does every day. It was around the time she usually got off work so she still had a little time. She closed the door to the bedroom so he wouldn't suspect anything. (She always closed it when she left in the morning and normally didn't change out of her uniform until after she showered unless something had spilled on it)

She started making dinner early so it would be done when he got home. As to save time for all of the excitement. He came home a few minutes early to her enjoyment coming in having a short conversation with her as he did every day. Then he went to their room to change. She bit her lip knowing he was reading what was probably the most important thing she's ever written in her lifetime.

It read.

Ogie, A long time ago you quoted to me the Declaration of Independence in one of your poems.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I don't really think I understood why until now.

Though now, If you give me the chance I'm going to quote it back to you.

Life.

I remember the day you messaged my profile.

It hadn't been a very good day.

Becky and I were covering for Jenna because she had to go to the doctor. Your user handle was cheesy but then again so was mine.

You said I was beautiful and honestly I didn't believe you.

I didn't believe anyone when they told me I was pretty.

I took it as a big lie.

But I still made plans to see you anyway.

Only five minutes though, that way I wouldn't miss History's Mysteries.

At first, you were very off-putting and that made me think you weren't right for me.

A few days later you showed up at the diner.

I was very confused then, you showed up with a mixed bouquet of flowers and spouted off random poems at the top of your lungs.

Becky and Cal almost called the cops.

Thats when I figured out we really did have some things in common and it maybe not is so bad giving you another shot.

If I'm being honest I kept those flowers for as long as they lived.

Being more honest I still have one of them pressed in a book.

Liberty.

You were the first man who ever had any interest in me.

I was a nerd growing up the and only men who ever paid attention to me were sleazeballs.

I honestly only expected our relationship to last a few weeks at the most. When it lasted for longer than that I got scared.

Thats when our only real bumps in the road happened.

I distanced myself from not only you but Jenna and Becky as well.

I was afraid and I took it out of the people around me.

Yet you still made the effort to find me.

To tell me everything was going to be ok.

You called me your moon.

I still didn't think it was true.

The Pursuit of Happiness.

We got married that Summer.

You interrupted the ceremony for one of your poems.

I thought it was sweet but the others were a little annoyed.

Despite all of it I still thought it was a twisted dream that I was going to wake up from at any moment.

Then Earl showed up and I knew it was real.

Earl would never be in my dreams.

Lulu was born a few short days later.

I'll always remember that day.

There was a special energy in the air.

I remember you hugged the doctor.

I remember how proud Jenna looked.

How much we all wished we knew what she was thinking.

Now I understand what was going through her head.

Fear.

Joy.

Anxiety.

Happiness.

All of it practically attacking you all at once.

Yet it's somehow an amazing feeling.

By this point, I'm pretty sure you get the point so I'm going to stop this here because I'm gonna ramble on forever I don't.

I'm Pregnant Ogie thats all I'm trying to say.

I love you

                 - Dawn

She bit her lip waiting for him to come back. When he did she hid her face curing back up into her little ball she retreated into herself. He sat next to her smiling. "Dawn?" She whimpered. "Dawn Come on you're better than that." She spoke muffled. "Am  I? Am I really?" "Dawn look at me please?" She nervously looked up from her hands. His grin was wider than it usually was and his eyes watery. She smiled tearing up as well as he pulled her close. He pulled a blanket over the two of them and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Were you being serious? In your note?" She nodded. "The girls cornered me and made me take a test this morning." He laughed. "They what??" She nodded. "They did. They even blocked the bottom of the stall so I couldn't crawl out from underneath." "Oh my god!" "Right?!" They were both laughing at this point all the tension had spilled from the room as they sat together.

She smiled. "I honestly don't know why I was so nervous. It's just my brain I guess." He smiled. "You're naturally nervous Dawn. It's just how you work." "I know. I know. But, this was different. I guess it's just what Jenna went through that made me so afraid. Being around that. I guess it messed me up." He smiles. "You aren't messed up Dawn it's just psychology. Jenna was married to a bad man. You experienced what he put her throughout her pregnancy. It's not your fault Dawn."

She nodded burying herself further under the blanket. "I made food." "I know I can smell it." She giggled. "Wanna eat?" "Not yet." "Ok." They stayed that way until it got late. Then proceeding to do their usual nighttime routine. They woke up the next morning both feeling better than the day before. Both discussing scheduling a doctors appointment. It was a Saturday meaning Ogie didn't work. She managed to talk him into going to the diner with her, being she knew Lulu would love to see him.

They got there and Lulu ran up to them. She picked her up smiling wide. "Mama got you guys something." To which she was shushed by Jenna and told it was supposed to be a surprise. Dawn smiled and Jenna leads her inside making her sit down. Handing her a small paper bag. Opening it she revealed a book, a book which she opened up revealed the words "Dear Baby”.