for the ficlet thing: “You're still asleep, aren't you?" (w timkon,,,yeah) :3
Muted blue-white light from the TV washes over the living room, paints the walls in dull grey as it flickers across Kon's face. Tim's head is a warm weight on his shoulder, his hair tickling slightly against Kon's neck. He dozed off a few minutes ago, breathing soft and slow as rain pelts the side of the farmhouse; it's not even late yet, but Kon knows Tim's been through a lot lately. It's good he's resting.
But he'd rest even better if they just turn off the TV and head up to bed, so. Kon could just carry him, but...
Lightning flashes outside; thunder rumbles in the distance as the house creaks in the wind. Kon stares at the window and swallows, hard.
Tim wouldn't just doze off on anyone's shoulder. Even as Robin, he preferred to curl up in weird little secluded spots, though he definitely fell asleep on Kon or Cassie a good few times. But he's gotten more guarded during the year Kon was, uh, dead, pulling into himself, pushing even Cassie away. And yet, here he is, snoozing away against Kon.
Something tightens in Kon's chest. He's been thinking a lot, lately. There's words that've been dancing on the tip of his tongue for months now, words he's kept swallowing down. Maybe he ought to finally take the plunge. Tonight feels cozy and safe, like the storm's cut them off from the outside world and all its perils and fears, and Tim is so trusting, so vulnerable in his sleep.
Kon takes a breath. Swallows hard. Breathes out.
"Hey, Rob." He gently nudges Tim, squeezes his shoulder. Fantasizes, for a moment, about skimming his hand down to the side of Tim's waist, but holds back. "You wanna call it and head up to bed?"
"Mmnh?" Tim's voice is so much softer than usual when he's sleepy. His eyelashes brush Kon's collarbone as he blinks. "Nnh, 'm awake..."
Kon's heart flip-flops in his chest. He chews at his lip. Lightning flashes in the window again, lighting up acres of farmland in a brilliant flash. Tim's hair smells like Kon's shampoo.
The words bubble up in Kon's chest and rise up his throat, and suddenly he knows if he doesn't say them now, he'll never say them at all. His heart thunders in his throat.
"Rob, I've, uh... I've been wondering something."
Tim hums against his shoulder. His fingers twitch slightly against the side of Kon's knee. "Mm?"
You don't touch most people like this, Kon wants to say. I don't let most people touch me like this. I've always been so conscious of how people see me, here in Smallville. I never knew who "Conner Kent" was before. But I never worry about any of that when you're with me. Why? What do you do to me? Do you even know you're doing it?
He doesn't say any of that. Instead, he chews at his lower lip again, staring at the TV. It's a rerun of some oldies show; Ma likes to watch 'em in the evenings sometimes.
"Before Cassie 'n' I broke up, we... talked about some stuff," Kon says haltingly. Maybe he should've taken a page outta Tim's book, written this all out before he tried to say any of it. "About, y'know. Us. What all happened while I was... gone." He can't bring himself to say dead, not to Tim.
Tim's quiet. He isn't stupid; he probably knows where Kon is going with this. He knows Kon knows there's an ocean of unspoken things between them, these days, things they both know but haven't managed to put into words. Things like why Tim tried to clone him a hundred times. Like the new colors on the Robin uniform in all the photos Kon saw from before Tim took on his new mantle. Things like...
"You and her dated for a second," Kon says, quiet. Maybe he's finally trying to cross that ocean. "She told me that she was trying to use you to see me. But that... that makes me wonder, Rob. If Cass was trying to kiss me through you, then..."
His heart is in his throat; his blood roars in his ears.
"Then what were you thinking, when you were kissing her?"
The question hangs in the air. Tim's silence is louder than the thunderstorm raging outside.
Kon stares straight ahead, suddenly terrified. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe he got it all backwards, and Tim really did just have feelings for Cassie he never acted on until Kon was out of the way, and his guilt for it was behind his intense grief for Kon. Maybe he—
Tim snores softly.
The tension pops like a bubble. Kon looks down, incredulous. "Right. Of course. You're still asleep, aren't you?" he mutters, more to himself than to Tim. He doesn't know if he's disappointed or relieved. Honestly, it's on him; he should've known better than to try and actually talk about any of it while Tim's so sleepy. He just... it just felt...
Well, it doesn't matter now. Kon blows out a deep sigh, TTKs over the TV remote, and turns it off.
"Mmph?" In the sudden quiet, Tim shifts against his side. "I'm awake, I swear..." He yawns, covering his mouth with a hand, and then lifts his head to blink blearily up at Kon. "Sorry. What were you sayin'?"
Kon shakes his head with a rueful smile. "Nothing important," he says, and ruffles Tim's hair. "C'mon. Let's get you to bed."
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