#acrophobia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creative-caramel-coffee · 8 months

Text

Ch 2 Acrophobia: Fear of heights.

Acrophobia: Fear of heights.

Pairings: Wandanat x R

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: The helicarrier is too high for your linking and you refuse to go on deck. Steve drags you out onto the deck for a mission and you cry and nat hurries to take you back inside knowing your fear.

TW: dry heaving, panic attack, flashback, hyperventilating, fainting, past trauma (mentioned), themes of isolation, themes of fear, Steve being oblivious(haha), HYDRA (yep it’s a TW),

A/n TIMELINE DOESN’T MATCH CANON COMPLIMENT CUZ WANDAS ON THE HELICARRIER

Normally it was fine. You could simply pretend it was fine at least. You stayed below deck. Never going up there. The whole base never went too high that you couldn’t see the ground, so it was usually fine. Except now it wasn’t. Of course, it wasn’t.

Fury had decided that instead of dealing with the storm like a normal person would. He had ordered the whole Helicarrier to go above the clouds. Which in your opinion was the stupidest thing he had ever done. It was a death sentence. Now you actively refused to leave your room. Fear was the main reason. Heights were never your thing. Not since you were a kid. Of course, HYDRA tried everything to beat it out of you, a solider that can't do heights wasn’t a solider at all was what you were told. Growing up in hydra was hard. Learning to trust was harder. The only one you trusted was Natasha. But she was either too busy to notice the problem or simply didn’t care. You hoped it was the first. Nobody else knew. Hydra had instilled a deep fear of inadequacy. That if the team or the director found out you would simply be kicked off the team. That was what you feared. Losing your new family like you had lost your old one kept yoi awake at night. Long long into the night.

You had been lounging on your bed when a voice came over the system.

“Avengers report to the deck. Agent Romanoff, Stark, Rogers, Banner, Barton, Maximoff and L/n.” The voice said and you knew you were screwed. Sure, they hadn’t noticed your absence over the last few days, and you could survive off the food you had stashed in your room for emergencies. But you had all the windows covered in your room, there was no evidence you were even in the sky at all. And you liked it that way. Anything else and you may end up a panicked mess on the floor. You sucked a deep breath knowing if you didn’t go, they would come after you. Part of you wanted to stay, hope they send nat and then fake an illness or something. The fear of the team ridiculing and shunning you was too much. You knew you simply had to suck it up but that was easier said than done. Slipping on your boots you tried to steady your shaking hands. Hydras attempts seemed to only reinforce your fears. Throwing you out a plane isn’t exactly proven exposure therapy but that had tried regardless.

Shaking the memory from your mind you placed you trembling hand on the doorknob. The safety of your room seemed too good to leave. Feeling your breathing pick up you closed your eyes and steadied it. In a moment of fleeting courage, you opened the door quickly. You had barely stepped a half foot out the door before you peered into the hall, seeing the big window leading to nothing but clouds and blue sky you slammed the door shut. Screw the meeting. You thought. You pressed your back to the door and held your head in your hands pulling your knees to to your chest and rocking slightly to give yourself s rhythm to steady your breathing too. After around fifteen minutes you were breathing normally when a knock sounded on the door. Three short raps. In a moment of panic, you called out.

“Im sick leave me alone.” It was a pathetic excuse, but it was all you could think of with your mind spinning at the idea of having to go back out there. Feeling the door move you scrambled away from it until your back was pressed against the bed as it swung open. Steve stood there looking unimpressed.

“Firstly, why are you on the floor and second you don’t look sick. We need you on deck L/n. You can’t simply avoid doing work forever.” He said his arms folded. He was clearly frustrated and had mistaken your fear for laziness. Before you could open your mouth, he seemed to have had enough. Grabbing your wrist, you struggled in his hold as he began dragging you into the hall. You slammed your eyes shut breathing and chest feeling tight and restricted. You pulled away in his grip, but his super strength was having none of it. Tears began to fall down your cheeks, but he hadn’t once looked back at you simply dragging you through the halls head held high. Many agents shot you odd looks but held their tongues knowing the repercussions for insulting a higher-ranking agent. Fury didn’t like bullies as much as Steve, which seemed rather ironic right now. You went limp your feet going on autopilot from years of conditioning to follow him. Often you were dragged by shackles, but a wrist wasn’t uncommon either. Hydra played over in your mind. Steve morphing between your shield college and a hydra agent, the one with cruel eyes and a tight-lipped smile. His hair flickered between black and blonde, and your eyes closed again out of fear. Fear it had all been a dream. Fear you had never left. You choked back sobs. Each sob was a punishment. And from what you could tell this was already heading south fast.

By the time Steve pulled you onto the deck you were dizzy from the lack of oxygen, your surroundings spinning. Nat was there and you prayed she would save you. The hydra agent was gone now, it was just Steve. But your fears were only getting worse. At least in the flashback you couldn’t see just how high the Helicarrier was. The railings seemed too small. Useless. Your stomach was doing flips from both the fear and the dizziness. Your head was spinning, and you felt lightheaded.

You missed Wanda elbowing Natasha in the ribs, her powers picking up on your distress and loud thoughts. Nat looked over at the younger redhead and Wanda nodded her head to you. Nat was quickly spurred into action. She rushed over and detangled you from Steve’s grip. Fairly harshly. She was mad at his lack of care or concern towards your current situation.

She scooped you into her arms and made quick work of hurrying back to the lower decks. You whined buried your face in the crook of her neck, tears streaming onto her uniform. She rubbed her hand up and down your arm as you saw her mouth moving but couldn’t decipher the words.

“Breathe Y/n. You need to breathe sweetheart. Your safe love. Your safe here.” She repeated over and over exceedingly worried at how short and sharp your breathing was.

After a moment you screwed your eyes up and leaned away from nat to dry heave. She slowed her movements, so she didn’t jostle you as much. Luckily you hadn’t had any real food in days after being holed up in your room. You hadn’t even noticed Wanda had followed you until you felt the rumble of Nat’s chest as she spoke to the witch before the cool tingly feeling of the red magic wrapped around your mind and your vision dipped as she knocked you out. Or at least you had thought she did. However, after she had been given the go ahead from Nat, she tried to help calm you down. Yet despite her magic not being a good idea, if you kept hyperventilating you were going to pass out and they wanted to avoid that. It was rare for you to panic this badly, but the flashback and fear had triggered you something awful.

And despite Wanda’s best efforts you passed out in Natasha’s arms. Nat slowed and adjusted her grip to support you head more to stop it lolling around. She swore softly as she and Wanda hurried you back to your room. Wanda stopped in the doorway as she saw the food plates and messy room.

“So, this is why she hasn’t been around. She hasn’t left her room” Wanda said slowly as Nat carefully set you down on the rumpled sheets.

“Yeah, I was too stupid to notice. She trusted me. She trusted Steve and we both failed her” Nat said shaking her head.

“Nat you know it's not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up.” Wanda said.

“I know but i still feel like we let her down.” She said huffing a sigh.

“Right now, we just need to look after her. Nobody is to blame. Expect maybe Steve because he’s a bit oblivious.” She said shrugging and nat gave a forced sounding laugh as the guilt continued to gnaw at her stomach. You had looked so helpless and afraid in her arms. She had only ever really seen that a couple times before. After or during the flashbacks she knew you had or when they had first rescued you from hydra. She had sworn each time she would protect you and now she felt like she had failed.

She moved over and pulled herself onto you bed, gently guiding your head into her lap. You screwed your eyes up and she gently tapped your cheek to rouse you. Wanda sat to your left watching with kind eyes.

“Hey baby girl. It’s ok.” Nat said and you squeezed her hand. Even half-awake with a pounding headache you could read Nat like no other.

“It's not your fault.” You said and Nat smiled softly.

“Don’t worry about that right now love, just take some deep breathes for me. Do you need your weighted blanket love?” She asked.

“N-no. Just…” you trailed off.

“What is it? You know I’ll get you anything you need.” Nat said softly as she patted your knee with an equally gentle and tender touch.

“C-can you lay with me. Just for a bit?”

“We’ll stay with you as long as you need y/n/n” Wanda said, and the two girls curled around you as you grounded yourself on their touch. Everything would be ok.

“Im fine. Steve…”

“Steve what baby?” Wanda asked gently.

“Steve just… he triggered a flashback when he grabbed m-me, and I was already afraid from being up this high. It just… it brought a lot back that I don’t want to r-remember.” You said exhaling as shaky breath. Nat squeezed you tightly in a hug.

“I’ll kill him.” She joked and you laughed quietly.

“No. All I need I have right her on this bed.” You said softly and the two women beamed at you. Feeling the tips of your ears heat with an undeniable blush you buried your face in your pillow as the two women cooed at you.

“Just hug me dammit.” You said and they complied. Maybe this is what you had been needing for those past few days. But now they were here everything was feeling a little more manageable.

MASTERLIST

276 notes · View notes

writingforstraykids · 6 months

Text

Addicted to you - Chp.5

Pairing: Minchan (mention of ot8 - mostly Felix)

Word Count: 5592

Summary: Felix tells Minho how much Chan adored him months ago already. Chan and Minho reminisce about the times they realized they loved the other one. Everything seems to be great for months until it isn't, and Chan feels like everything is too much. Minho tries to accept it for a while but gets into a fight with him as he snaps at Jisung.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, implication of smut (briefly), mention of acrophobia, mention of throwing up, soft!minho, first fight

Chp. 4 | Chp. 6

Think I need someone older Just a little bit colder Think I need someone older Darling, hold me while you wipe my tears older - Isabel LaRosa

Minho was brewing some coffee when the front door opened, signaling the return of their friends. They pile in one after the other and make their way to the kitchen.

"Why the hell are you wearing Chan hyung's sweater?" Changbin asked immediately, eyeing the item as it was being worn not by the owner, but another group member.

Minho raised his eyebrows at him. "Good morning to you, too." he said dryly, ignoring Chan coming down the stairs.

"Morning Minho hyung! Did you sleep well?" Jisung asked, sitting down at the kitchen island.

"I did, thank you Hannie." he smiled and poured him a cup of coffee.

"So?" Changbin asked, bringing attention back to the topic at hand. He couldn’t shake this feeling, this tiny voice in his head.

"We were watching a movie, and I got cold, that's all." he said, choosing not to look at Felix or Chan. He kept his eyes solely on Changbin, as if to solidify his words as facts.

But Changbin was not convinced. "I thought you hated sharing your clothes?" Changbin frowned at Chan, who walked around the kitchen island and got himself a cup.

"I do…but doesn't our Minho look cute in my clothes?" he asked, softly pinching Minho's cheek.

Minho's ears turned red, thinking back at where a comment like that had gotten them earlier. He took Chan's cup and poured him some coffee as well. "Shut up," he said softly.

Jisung watched them curiously and shared a look with Felix. Something was different between their hyungs and it was happening right in front of their eyes. Felix grinned slightly, already set on talking to Minho later. He was positive his friend knew what the sudden generosity earlier this morning had been about.

"What's the plan for today?" Jisung asked and sipped his coffee.

"I know you planned dance practice for today, but there are three of us missing," Minho said to Chan. "It doesn't make much sense to continue without everyone."

Chan hummed softly. "It would not. I'll go to the studio later and keep mixing the voice tracks."

"Great, I have some new stuff to show you." Jisung nodded, and Changbin decided to join them.

"Perfect. We'll think of new choreography in the meantime." Felix announced, and Minho nodded agreeing.

Once Chan began talking to Jisung, Minho leaned closer to Felix. “I have some news,” he whispered, and Felix nodded, ears preparing themselves for the update he’ll receive later.

A little later, everyone eventually began to disperse to their respective destinations and focus on their tasks. Felix and Minho were still sitting at the table, sharing some cookies as they listened to a few of their new songs. With each track playing, the two focused on creating choreography that fit the mood of the song. So deep in the process that they barely noticed Jisung and Changbin leaving, just waving them goodbye. Chan strolled over not too much later, announcing his departure.

"Alright have fun, Channie hyung." Minho smiled at him, eyes locked on his movements as he came closer.

Chan placed two fingers beneath his chin and raised his head, locking his gaze in place before leaning down and kissing him lovingly. "Take care, Min."

"Chan," he protested softly, his ears burning bright given the fact that Felix was right next to them. Witnessing the exchange with eyes that held a million questions. But all he could do was let a small smile pull on his lips.

Chan snorted softly at Felix's nearly undetectable movement. "I know damn well you two don't have any secrets. So why should I hide this from him?" Minho didn't answer and just looked in his eyes, stunned by the sudden move. Still, Chan gave a warning. "Not a word to anyone, Felix."

Felix smirked and sealed his lips, pretending to throw the key away. "Took you long enough."

"Have fun practicing, alright?" he spoke softly, and Minho nodded. "Make sure he takes a break," he told Felix, while pointing to them both.

"Tell Changbin to make sure he gets home before 2 a.m.," Minho joked back smoothly and smirked as Chan playfully rolled his eyes.

"I can't make any promises." he chuckled.

"Your loss." he shrugged.

"Typical," he smiled before kissing him once more. "See you later, baby."

"See you, Channie love," he smiled. Chan's face softened at the new nickname. His heart skipped a beat, but he knows it comes from love. With a final smile, he walks to the door and leaves.

Felix turned to Minho as soon as Chan closed the front door, not skipping a single beat. Minho’s cheeks were covered with red, as if he applied too much blush. "He just called you baby…."

"I know," Minho spoke barely above a whisper, still stunned from the interaction.

"He just kissed you in front of me," he added, his voice raising in volume from excitement. "Minho, in front of me!"

"I knoooow," he whined and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed. His ears and neck beaming a brighter shade of red somehow.

"What the hell happened after you left my room? Chan looked like he just won the lottery when he gave me his card and sent me off." Felix told him, eyeing his friend with a devious smirk.

"He said something about having me for breakfast instead, and I fell for it," he told him, recalling the memory. "Before you ask, yes, he's very talented with his tongue, and his fingers,..and-." He was beginning to drift off into the memory, his expression dazed.

"Don't tell me you just lost your virginity," Felix's eyes widened. He was practically on the edge of his seat for the confirmation.

"I just lost my virginity to Chan." he nodded and giggled as Felix hugged him tightly.

"What the hell happened to ‘taking things slowly’?" he asked, laughing.

"Chan had some very convincing arguments that said otherwise." Minho smirked.

"Please stop if you're talking about his dick." he snorted. But when Minho didn't reply, he squeaked and hit him softly. "Minho!"

"Stop acting innocent, Mr. ‘I-have-a-boyfriend-who-shares-me-with-my-mistress’" he defended himself.

"Hyunjin's my mistress?" he giggled, and Minho started laughing as well.

“Don’t tell him I said that," he told him, giggling.

"What would he do about it? You'd just feed him tissues," Felix grinned, and Minho slapped his arm. "Seriously, how was the sex?" he asked, pouring them more coffee, but keeping his eyes on his friend. Minho’s blush deepened, and he leaned over, whispering the details to him like a dirty secret, though they were alone in the house. Felix listened closely, and his expressions were worth a picture. “Gosh Min, you lucky guy.”

Minho covered his cheeks and giggled softly. “The hardest thing about this will be that Chan is such a fucking tease,” he groaned and rolled his eyes. “He’s done it before, and I doubt he’ll stop now that he has my permission to.”

“Just be a bigger tease,” Felix smirked and leaned closer. Now it was his turn to whisper like he had a secret. “Don’t tell him I said this, but I know a few of his weaknesses.”

“What?” Minho asked curiously.

“When we were back in Australia on our vacation, he got a little too drunk, and I asked him about you. I mean, it wasn’t hard to see that he was at least interested in you,” he told him, and Minho nodded softly. “He went on and on about how cute you are with no effort and said something about wanting to keep you in his arms. He loves making you laugh, and he kind of has a thing for you getting pissed off during dance practice and going into leadership mode.” Minho was taking in the information as if he just opened the chamber of secrets.

“Such an ass. That’s why he keeps on messing around,” Minho laughed, and Felix nodded grinning.

“He’s a sucker for you wearing blue or red, and honestly, I don’t blame him,” he giggled and ducked away from a punch to the chest. “Oh…and I know the exact moment he fell for you.”

“Huh?” he frowned softly. How could Felix know about that?

“Remember that performance about six months ago? When you had the flu and still performed because it was such a big event for us?” Felix asked him.

“You mean the one I threw up right after we got off stage?” he asked, contorting at the memory. “That’s the moment he decided he was in love with me? Gross.”

“No, you dumbass,” he giggled. “First of all, that’s because you pushed yourself for the team and gave such an amazing performance. Even though you were in pain and felt like shit, we appreciate you for that.”

Minho nodded to the comment, but still quipped a smart comment. “He likes self-destruction, then. I can work with that.” he grinned.

“Minho!” Felix groaned, and Minho giggled delightedly. “He fell in love with you when you broke down and would only let him help you. Since you didn’t want to worry the rest of us.”

“Huh…” Minho simply answered, thinking back to that day.

Minho stumbled down the stairs having just left the stage and ripped at his microphone, trying to get it off. His body was burning up from a fever, his limbs were hurting, and his stomach squeezed with every step he took. His head felt like it was about to explode. He squeezed his eyes together tightly, starting to feel dizzy. Someone rested his hand on his lower back and stepped closer to him. “Let me help you out.”

Minho blinked up at Chan, barely noticing him come to his rescue. Somehow, Chan took off the microphone for him and freed him of all the connecting cables. He felt his stomach turn and suddenly pushed Chan aside, rushing to the bathroom. Minho barely made it to the toilet, dropping to his knees and throwing up violently. It took him three tries to get back up afterwards and another two to turn on the sink. His hands trembled intensely as he threw some cold water on the back of his neck and wrists before rinsing his mouth out. He returned to their dressing room, dropping his body on the sofa and putting his headphones in to cancel out the noise around him. Minho bent over in pain, lowering his head and trying to calm himself down, knowing it would be time to go home soon. Someone sat down next to him and took his hand. Minho didn't have to open his eyes to know it was Chan; he knew the feeling of his hand in his. He gently squeezed it, letting him know he appreciated his gesture. Minho bit back a moan as his stomach cramped up once again, and he pushed himself up and started coughing to himself. He found himself throwing up again and had trouble standing after, growing weak.

Chan looked up worriedly as the door to the bathroom opened, and Minho stumbled outside, gripping the doorframe. He was awfully pale and visibly shaking; his hair was sticking to his forehead, and a few tear streaks painted his cheeks. The others started talking to each other quietly as they watched him take a few steps forward, bracing himself at the wall. Chan got up and approached him, knowing Minho would be stubborn enough to try and put on a show in front of their younger members.

Minho looked up at him with teary eyes. “Chan hyung?” he asked weakly, and Chan wrapped his arm around him to brace him. Minho sunk against him and gripped the back of Chan’s shirt tightly. “I feel like I’ll faint if I don’t sit down soon,” he whispered.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here, Min,” he said gently and led him to a smaller attached room where they usually went to take a break from the loud mess next door. “Felix, can you give us a moment?” he asked, and Felix nodded quickly, leaving the room for them.

Minho’s knees gave out as soon as the door fell closed, and Chan had trouble holding him up. Minho bent over in pain and started crying as exhaustion hit him in full force. Chan pulled him into his lap, and Minho curled up against him, burying his face in his chest.

“Shh, Minho, I got you,” he soothed him and held him close, rubbing his shoulder. “You did so well, Min,” he told him and gently rocked him in his arms.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whimpered, gripping Chan’s shirt as a violent sob shook his body. "That's the second time this week."

“It’s okay, I’ll make sure you can rest now, I promise,” he told him soothingly, knowing Minho hadn’t really wanted to take part today. It had been the decision of their management to ask a doctor of their choice for a thumbs up. Minho whimpered weakly in response, and Chan worriedly touched his forehead and cheeks. “Shit, you’re burning up,” he said and tried to move with him.

“Don’t,” he stopped him and sniffled softly. “They’ll only be worried.”

“Will you stop worrying about the others for once and think about yourself?” Chan told him, frustrated. “We need to get you back home so you can get some rest.”

“I really don’t want to move right now,” he told him honestly and leaned into Chan’s hand, which was still resting on his cheek. “Also, your hands feel cold, that’s nice,” he said and brought up Chan’s other hand as well, cupping his face with them and closing his eyes.

Minho knew he had to ask Chan that evening about this without exposing Felix. They continued working throughout the day until the others returned on time for dinner. Later that evening, Jisung, Changbin, and Felix sat on the sofa, ready to watch a movie. Chan asked Minho to join him upstairs to exchange what they had worked on today, and the others let them off without any suspicions besides Felix, of course.

Chan took his hand as soon as they were out of sight and intertwined their fingers. “You had a good day, baby?” he asked softly.

Minho smiled gently. “I did, yes, Felix and I worked on some new moves we can use in the future,” he told him. “What about you?”

“We worked on some new songs. Don’t know if they’re the right material yet, though,” he told him and led him up the stairs.

“Channie hyung?” Minho asked gently as Chan opened the door to their rooftop.

“Yeah?” he asked, frowning as Minho stopped in his tracks.

“I’m afraid of heights, remember?” he told him, peeking over Chan’s shoulder. He knew it was ridiculous; there was enough space to move freely without having to look down. Still, he was up there, out in the open, and that was enough.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Chan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to watch the sunset with you in a place where I can kiss you.”

Minho giggled softly and tilted his head at him. “You know your room would’ve worked? Through the window?”

“Probably,” Chan giggled and sighed softly. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay,” he chuckled before taking a deep breath. “Don’t let go of me, you hear me?”

“What?” Chan asked and laughed softly as Minho wrapped his arms around him and pulled him outside onto the rooftop. He looked down at Minho squeezing his eyes closed and holding onto him tightly. He scooped him up in his arms, and Minho squeaked, tightly wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

“I didn’t mean to hold me up even higher,” he whined and buried his face in his shoulder as Chan carried him over to the sofas they had placed there when they moved in.

“I got you, I promise,” he giggled, placing him on the sofa. Chan laid down on it and let Minho snuggle up close, resting his head on his chest. “Just look up at the sky, alright?”

“Are we going to see an airplane pass by?” he joked, and Chan giggled.

“You’re so cute,” he said softly, squeezing his shoulder.

Minho smirked and relaxed in his hold, focusing on the sky, slowly changing its colors. “This isn’t that bad,” he admitted after a while. “Channie hyung, can I ask you something?”

“As soon as you drop the hyung once we’re alone,” he giggled softly.

“Channie?” he asked sweetly, and Chan smiled satisfied. “When did you know you have feelings for me?”

Chan remained silent for a moment. “Well, this might sound weird, but…”

Minho whimpered weakly in response, and Chan worriedly touched his forehead and cheeks. “Shit, you’re burning up,” he said and tried to move with him.

“Don’t,” he stopped him and sniffled softly. “They’ll only be worried.”

“Will you stop worrying about the others for once and think about yourself?” Chan told him, frustrated. “We need to get you back home so you can get some rest.”

Chan stared at him, swallowing softly at the sight of Minho’s face between his hands. Why the fuck did he look so adorable doing it? What the hell was wrong with him that he was thinking about this instead of getting him a place to rest? A low moan slipped from Minho’s lips as he seemed to enjoy the cold against his heated body, and Chan’s eyes widened at the sound.

"I can stay with you once we get home, but you really need to rest," he said quietly, nervous of his voice betraying him.

"If you say so, hyung," Minho answered, not really thinking anymore.

“You’re such a horny fucker, I can’t believe this,” Minho laughed and smacked his chest. “I thought you’d say something cute, but no, you pick one of my shittiest moments.”

“I’m sorry, I loved the feeling of being needed,” he defended himself. “And you looked so adorable doing it…I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly your face fit into my hands as if they were made to hold you for days.”

Minho sat up and looked down at him surprised. “Really?” Chan hummed softly, and Minho climbed onto his lap, taking his hands. He brought them up to his cheeks, and Chan cupped his face with a soft smile. Minho smiled brightly and covered Chan’s hands with his own. “That’s really fucking adorable, you know.”

“I have my moments,” Chan giggled and caressed his cheeks. “What about you?”

“About as stupid as your story,” he told him. “You didn’t have to do much, I was longing for some love that day.”

Chan gently knocked against the doorframe of their dance practice room. “Minho?”

Minho looked up, startled and relaxed, seeing it was Chan. He sighed softly, patting the floor beside him, and invited him in.

Chan sat on the floor next to him and looked at him intently. “Mistakes happen, you know.”

Minho pressed his lips together tightly and fidgeted with the sleeve of his favorite sweater. “But not like this. Not on stage in front of way too many people,” he said. “I literally kicked Hyunjin to the ground, Chan hyung, that’s not just some mistake.”

“He told you he’s fine, it happens. Even to our main dancer,” he told him, gently wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “No matter what some assholes say out there.”

Minho sighed softly and tiredly rested his head on Chan’s shoulder. “What if they’re right? What if I just mess everything up, and you would’ve done better with me staying eliminated?”

“Hey, never say that again when I’m around, you hear me?” Chan told him firmly. “Losing you broke my heart, Min, you have no idea how happy I am to have you by my side today.”

“You’re just talking shit now to cheer me up,” Minho rolled his eyes.

“Are you telling me I’m lying?” he asked, and Minho chuckled at his offended tone. “No, seriously, don’t listen to them. Accidents happen, and you’re brilliant, no matter what.”

Minho looked at him, and, searching his eyes told him Chan meant every word. He smiled shyly and nodded gently. “Thanks, Channie hyung.”

“Anytime, Minho,” he smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. “Now come on, everyone misses you at the dinner table.”

Minho watched him get up and took his hand as he offered it. "I still feel bad for him, I'm sure it hurt."

"He's okay, I promise," he told him gently, keeping his hand in his as they went to join the rest. "By the way, have I told you how much that color suits you?"

Minho glanced down at his favorite blue sweater and smiled shyly. "You think so?"

"It makes you look really adorable," Chan nodded.

"So cute." Minho blushed and simply smiled, not knowing how to respond, which made Chan giggle adoringly.

“That was it?” Chan asked surprised. “You’re not as hard to get as you pretend to.”

“Not really, no,” Minho shrugged and cuddled back up against him. “You’re just not as smart as you pretend to be.”

“Did you just call me dumb for not realizing you had feelings for me?” Chan asked, offended, and moved on top of him, tickling him.

“Chan, stop,” he laughed and tried to shove him off. “Please,” he whined after a while, squirming beneath him and giggling breathlessly as Chan kissed him hard on the mouth. Minho kissed back, tangling his hand in his hair and arching into his touch as Chan’s hand slipped beneath his shirt.

“Channie, love,” he whispered, and their eyes met, noses brushing against each other. “You may be a little dumb sometimes, but your handsomeness definitely makes up for it,” he said smirking, and Chan’s jaw dropped.

“And here I am thinking you’d say something sweet,” he laughed and rolled his eyes at him.

“Now come here, darling, you promised me some cuddles,” he giggled, pulling him down. Chan seemed to be happy with cuddles and did as he said. Minho gently played with his hair as they watched the sun go down and the first stars appear. He felt at peace like that, hoping he'd never lose what they were building up right now.

Their casual kisses got harder to have once the rest returned, and their house was full again. Somehow, someone else always seemed to be around. Minho started to enjoy their little hiding game, not because he liked lying to their friends but because teasing Chan was such fun. Holding hands was alright since everyone around the house did it quite randomly. Sitting on Chan's lap was about the same since everyone loved getting a cuddle from their leader. Chan sat a little closer next to him at the table now, his hand resting on his thigh sometimes when no one was looking.

Minho wasn't so sure about the sex part since nothing happened for the next two weeks. Had they moved too fast that one time? Nevertheless, he had needs, and with his tight schedule, they only became more prominent whenever he was alone. He remembered Chan's offer to come to him when he felt needy, but the fact he was currently at the company made things a little tricky. Minho grabbed his phone before falling onto his bed. He quickly dialed his number and smiled as Chan picked up almost immediately. "Hi, Channie hyung," he spoke softly.

"Minho, baby, what's up?" he asked happily.

"I miss you," he admitted.

"Aw, I miss you too," Chan smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Why don't you come over?"

"Shouldn't you be working?" he asked, giggling.

"Han and Changbin decided to go home early today and said something about being tired," he shrugged.

"And what's stopping you from doing that?" he asked softly. "You have me and a very comfortable bed waiting for you," he said, getting a little bolder.

Chan smirked softly. "I have a soundproof room, darling," he told him, and shivers ran down Minho's spine.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked innocently.

"Why don't you come over and find out?" he asked, and Minho was up, tying his shoes before Chan could finish the next sentence. "Or did I misread the purpose of this sudden phone call?"

"Not at all, my smart love. I'll be there in ten," he told him and grabbed his jacket.

"Min?" he asked gently.

"Yes?" he asked as he made his way downstairs.

"Drive carefully, alright?"

Minho stopped in his tracks, and his face softened. "Of course I will," he said gently. He told the others Chan needed his help with a few organizational things, and they'd be back later. He ignored Felix's grin on purpose.

Chan turned in his chair when Minho stepped inside and closed the door. He raised an eyebrow as Minho turned the key, locked the door, and discarded his jacket on the floor.

Minho walked over, keeping eye contact, and stopped in front of his chair. He dropped down to his knees and rested his chin on Chan's knee, blinking up at him innocently. Two could play this game. He slowly fondled up his thigh and tilted his head at him. "How's my handsome love?"

Chan spread his legs and leaned forward in his chair, grabbing his chin. "That needy?" Minho shifted a little before nodding gently. Chan lovingly ran his hand through his hair, humming at the way Minho leaned into the touch. "My hardworking baby, always so eager to do well. I suppose you're getting frustrated with all the things to do?"

"A little," he nodded and searched Chan's eyes. "You told me to come to you when I feel needy."

"I did," Chan nodded and pushed his chair back, sitting on the floor before him.

"Here I am," he whispered, and his eyes fluttered close as Chan cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over his lower lip.

"I got you, baby," Chan promised, lifting him onto his lap smoothly. His hands slipped beneath his sweater, fingertips brushing over his skin.

Minho hid his face in his neck and desperately gripped his shirt. "I'm really sensitive today, Channie," he confessed, shivering with anticipation as Chan's hands traveled further down.

Chan closed his eyes with a soft groan as his hands slipped into Minho's sweatpants, realizing he was wearing no underwear. "Gosh, you're such a tease."

And Minho loved being a tease and often found himself pressed up against a wall and getting kissed passionately once he succeeded. Chan was a sweetheart, showering him with compliments, cuddles, affection, and lots of amazing sex whenever they were alone. Minho was happier than ever before, his confidence grew, and there were fewer playful fights between him and Chan when it came to making decisions for the group. Everyone noticed how close they had grown but didn't say anything for months. They were happy, and eight months had passed soon since their first kiss. Minho was too happy to care about the fact that they still hadn’t defined whatever it was they were doing. It already felt like having a secret relationship; he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Until Chan suddenly wasn't happy anymore, growing quiet and looking tired for days. He closed himself off, and Minho had trouble reaching out to him. At night, Chan often slipped into his room and cuddled up against him, not saying a word. Minho had asked him to talk to him more often than he could count, but Chan never did. Sometimes, he cried a few silent tears before falling asleep exhausted and holding onto him tightly. And Minho let him, glad that at least for that, he was good enough to help Chan out.

Tonight was no different, and Minho already knew what was up when someone gently knocked on his door. He put his book aside and sighed softly. "Yes?" His heart sank as Chan stepped into his sight. He was wearing a wide black sweater, the hood on his head, and the sleeves pulled down over his hands. Chan was shaking as he made his way over, big tears rolling down his cheeks. Minho quickly got up and opened his arms, heart breaking as Chan clung to him with a broken sob. "Channie," he whispered and held him tight, pulling down the hood of his sweater. "Please, tell me what's going on," he asked him, gently running his hand through his untamed curls.

"I can't," he hiccuped and buried his face in his chest, trying to hide.

"You're starting to scare me," he told him, and Chan only held even tighter onto him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered shakily and pulled back, messily wiping his cheeks with his sleeves. "I'll leave."

"No," Minho said firmly, and Chan looked at him bewildered as he grabbed his wrist tightly. "Please don't."

"Why?" he asked and sniffled softly.

"I don't want you to be alone like that," Minho told him, and Chan was back in his arms only seconds later. He swallowed hard and reminded himself to stay calm. He knew how depressed Chan had been before they all debuted together, and he finally got what he had worked so hard for.

"I feel like giving up," he admitted after a moment.

"On what?" Minho asked worriedly.

"On everything," Chan said, making a shiver run down Minho's spine.

They had a dance practice two weeks later, and Chan kept messing up the steps, confusing everyone. Minho was starting to get frustrated but held back, unsure of what the hell was going on with him.

"Chan hyung, come on," Jisung teased him after a while.

"Focus on your own shit," Chan snapped at him, and everyone froze in shock. Chan had never raised his voice at one of them before, not like that in front of everyone.

Jisung flinched at the tone and looked at him, confused. "I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely, and Chan glared at him.

"Chan, he was making a joke, calm down," Minho said gently, and only a second later, that hateful look met him. "Alright, everyone out now," Minho said firmly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. As soon as the door closed, Minho started talking. "I don't know what the fuck is going on with you at the moment, but it has to stop. It's one thing you've been using me as your comfort pillow for two weeks now, ignoring me the rest of the day and not talking a word to me. But snapping at the kids for no reason isn't something I'll just watch," he told him and approached him. "I want to help you, but you have to let me in for that."

"I don't need your help, okay?" Chan burst out and glared at him. "Stop talking shit and leave me alone."

Minho's face fell before he nodded slowly. "I think you're right, that's exactly what I'll do until you figure this out. I don't have to let you treat me like shit just because you can't figure your own shit out…I really hope you come back to me, Channie," he said, searching his eyes sadly. "Because if this is what I get in the future, I don't want it."

Chan looked at him quietly for another moment before pushing past him and walking toward the door. "Fuck you, seriously," Chan said as he opened the door and slammed it close behind him. Everyone stared at him in shock as he moved past them and went back upstairs.

Minho looked up as the door opened again, and the others came back inside, looking at him worriedly. "I have no idea what's going on with him, I'm sorry," he told them gently and shrugged his shoulders. "He's pushing me away whenever I try to get through to him."

"He's been acting off for a while now," Changbin nodded.

"I swear I was just trying to make a joke," Jisung spoke up quietly.

Minho pulled him into a hug. "I know you did…and he knows as well." He soothingly rubbed his back as he held onto him, trembling a little. "It's okay, I promise," he whispered. "Deep breaths, remember?" Jisung nodded but stayed in his arms for another bit whilst the rest started fooling around again. "Better?" he asked after a while.

"Thank you, Minho hyung," he nodded and pulled back.

"Of course," he winked at him before focusing back on the others. "Alright, I think we'll stop here since it won't make sense without him." As the others gathered for dinner, Minho went upstairs to get Chan. He carefully knocked at the door. "Channie?" he asked softly, getting no answer. "The kids are asking if you'll join us for dinner," he said, knocking again. "Channie, love, I'm sorry for what I said. I'm always there for you and -," he tried opening the door, heart sinking as it was locked. "Let me in, please?"

Chan suddenly ripped the door open and glared at him. "I said fuck you, Minho, so leave me alone."

Minho started to answer, flinching heavily as the door fell closed again. "Okay, love you too, dumbass," Minho muttered under his breath before making his way back downstairs.

Chp. 4 | Chp. 6

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/ removed from the taglist)

@soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies @skz-enchanted-moon-juice

23 notes · View notes