#[her connection with Barbara matters a lot to me and I’m gonna cry all the way through Barbie again with Casper tomorrow. my new mega phone

[godblooded]

if i leave with gloria in my pocket tomorrow well i won’t be surprised.

[ficklefics]

Friends Like These - Chapter Twenty-Five: Heart To Heart

Harleen wakes up in the worst place imagineable.

SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Taglist: @hexqueensupreme​

Chapter Warnings: Child abuse mention, kidnapping, guns, threat to life

Jerome.

The first thought in my mind, before I’ve even escaped the blackness enveloping me. Jerome. Is he here? Is he okay? Stop it. I shouldn’t be thinking about Jerome. I need to worry about myself. I’m cold; freezing, almost. Lying on what I guess is concrete floor. I can hear breathing, heavy breathing. My head is sore but other than that I don’t feel injured. I roll onto my side and force my eyes open. The room is dimly lit. Jerome is sat against the wall, watching me. “Someone got their beauty sleep.” “Fuck off.” I don’t have the will to humour him. Sitting up I copy him, sitting opposite him. “Where are we?” “How should I know?” “You’re awake.” “And?” “Shut up,” I huff, already annoyed. I hold onto my irritation; it’s better than fear. But I am afraid. I have been kidnapped by… someone and am trapped in a locked room with an insane man who is obsessed with me. Not good. “What do we do?” He shrugs. So we wait.

*

*

*

I can’t tell how long it’s been. Jerome hasn’t stopped watching me the whole time, so I haven’t stopped staring at the empty wall. I don’t look at the door. All it does is remind me of how we’re trapped. “We’ll probably die here.” “Don’t joke about that.” “I’m not joking. We’ve been left here, and we’ll probably die here.” “Shut up.” “You know -” “Jerome, can you just shut up!” I snap. He recoils, his grin faltering. I almost feel guilty. Almost. “Look, I am scared. I am fucking terrified. And I cannot deal with you being… you right now!” The outburst drains me and I slump back against the wall. There are tears rising behind my eyes but I refuse to cry – not in front of him. Not again. “Alright.” I’m shocked that he’s agreeing. Usually, Jerome seems to thrive on irritating and infuriating me. But, for once, he’s not in control. Neither of us is. Someone else, some outside force, has brought us here. Maybe… “Aren’t you scared? Or at least vaguely concerned?” “What’s the point?” “You really are completely insane.” “Uh, duh.” I almost laugh. Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing. “Right, humour me here.” He tilts his head, intrigued. “Distract me. Make jokes, or tell me a story, or… something.” “Why?” He’s confused. Of course, he is. I’m confusing myself. “I’ll freak out otherwise, and then I might kill you.” I’m mostly joking. “Isn’t that what you want?” “Shut up. Just…” I search my mind for something, anything. I find it. “Tell me about Uncle Zach.” “What?” The bravado he usually excludes his gone from his voice. I frown. “You said, when we met in Arkham, that I should remind you to tell me about Uncle Zach. I’m reminding you.” “It’s not cheery.” “Nothing is with you. Or everything is.” “Fine.” He pats the spot next to him sarcastically; I shake my head, already smiling. “So, when I was a kid, before I realised the world hated me, I had an uncle.” “Zach.” “Smart girl.” “Ha ha.” “Dear old mom’s brother. He was a cook at the circus, and he would bake too. Great at it.” Jerome speaks as though it’s a monologue - or more a soliloquy; it’s as though I’m not even here. “We used to try and steal cookies from him. One time,” He breaks off in a peal of laughter, making me wince, “He caught me. Took my hand and shoved it in a pot of boiling stock. Practically cooked me down to the bone.” The grin never falls. But his eyes show something different. Pain. Anger. Fear. “Took months for the burns to heal. And I never forgot the smell of my own flesh boiling.” That’s it. That’s the story. I don’t laugh. I don’t smile. Silence hovers between us for a moment. The story was… horrific. But it explained a lot about Jerome, about his mind, about what he does. “I’m sorry.” It’s all I can say. “Don’t be. It’s funny.” He chuckles darkly, sardonic and bitter. “Just… it explains a lot. I guess we’re just victims of our circumstances. I got rich kid pampering, you got -” “Don’t start getting sentimental on me now.” Jerome groaned. I let out a weak chuckle and shake my head. A thought appears. “You said, “we”. Did you have friends?” Jerome’s face sharpens into a mask. “Doesn’t matter.” “But -” “I said, it doesn’t matter!” He yells. I jump, startled, afraid of him for the first time since New Years. He doesn’t apologise, but he does smile. “Do I frighten ya’, Harls?” “Not often. Not anymore. Not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.” The last part is more to myself. “I’m gonna go with “not” for you, but great for me.” Whatever feelings had sprung up as he told the story had been hidden away, his grin genuine now. “Still angry at you though.” “Will you ever not be?” “Tell you what,” I lean forward, smirking slightly at him, “I’ll stop being angry with you when this fucking scar fades.” I don’t even need to gesture for him to know what I mean. He turns smug, clearly proud over the mark he left on me. “Not sure which option I prefer.” “Shut up.”

On that, a scraping sound emanated from behind the door that I had been stubbornly ignoring since I woke up. We both leap to our feet. Jerome’s eyes glimmer; he’s got a plan. A man comes into the room and Jerome is on him in a second. I’d forgotten how strong he was, quickly gaining the upper hand in the fight, if it could even be called that. I’m focused on him, too focused, so focused that I don’t notice the other men behind the first. I don’t notice them until two grabbed my arms tight, twisting them behind my back, and another holds a gun to my head. I struggle despite it, only stopping when he cocks it. My breathing is heavy. Jerome hasn’t noticed. “Mr Valeska!” He pauses pummelling the first man's face and looks up, panting. He freezes when he sees me. “If you would, please stand up, and we won’t have to kill Miss Quinzel.” I watch him, terrified to see what he’ll do. Either way, it won’t end well.

He stands. Of course, he stands. “Interesting,” The man murmurs, keeping the weapon directed at me. Jerome looks as though he’s itching to keep fighting, energy pent up, wanting to burst out. But he stands still. Eyes fixed on me. I look right back. I can’t force the glare from my face. It’s easier, better, to focus on my anger than on the realisation dawning that I wish I could dismiss. “Bring them.” Jerome is grabbed, the same as me, and they push us from the room down a corridor. We quickly come to a fork. “Put her with the others. Take him to the Hole.” We both begin to protest, demanding answers, struggling, but are separated and dragged away.

His voice fades as I am marched through a massive open space filled with vats bubbling with something I don’t want to know about. Walkways criss-cross above us. At the other end is a door, which one of the guards unlocks. I am quickly thrown through and, as I fall to the ground, the door is slammed behind me. “Who the hell is this?” A woman’s voice. So I’m not alone. I prop myself up on my hands and knees, wincing. Someone gasps. “No way.” I recognise that voice. Sitting up, I see the very man himself. “Penguin?” He’s stood in front of me, still in his usual suit, but noticeably dishevelled. “What are you doing here?” I stand up, looking around me. I have to restrain myself from gasping. Some of Gotham’s most notorious criminals in one room: Penguin, Victor Zsasz, Jervis Tetch, Jonathan Crane, Barbara Kean. The man I had met at Lee’s hospital as well, who I only now connected to Edward Nygma. My jaw tensed as adrenaline floods my system, my brain flipping behind fight or flight: neither of which were options. “I know you.” I turn to look at Ed. “You’re Harleen Quinzel.” “Well done,” I snark, examining the room. It’s small, a few cots pressed against one wall, and nothing else. One door. Just like the other one. “Why do I know that name?” Barbara questions no one in particular. Zsasz, Tetch and Crane nod in agreement with the question – nice to know I’m not quite a household name. “She was kidnapped by Jerome Valeska a few months ago,” Penguin hobbles towards me, “And has been causing trouble since.” “More trouble happens around me,” I snap. He inhales sharply and steps away. “Does that mean that this is Valeska?” Zsasz asks. I look at him and shake my head. “They took us together, from Arkham.” “What do you mean together?” “I volunteer there, we were both in the hospital. I assumed I was collateral but now… I’m not so sure.” “Why not?” This time it was Ed. “If I was collateral, I would be dead, right?” I shrug, crossing to sit on one of the empty cots. “Smart. So the question is, what do they want from us?” “I think you’ll find the question is, how do we get out of here?” There’s clearly tension between Penguin and Nygma. “Where is Jerome now?” Crane rasps, piercing eyes watching me. “They said they were taking him to “the Hole”. That mean anything to anyone?” They all shake their heads. “Then we can’t do anything about it. Penguin’s right. We need to figure out how to get out of here.” “And who put you in charge? You’re just a kid.” Barbara sneers. I roll my eyes. “No one did. And I’m not.” I look up at her, at all of them. “But I want out of here just as much as you do. And I’ve never been one to sit around waiting to get rescued.” “What are we supposed to do? We don’t even have any weapons.” I frown, but a smile replaces it as I realise something. “What? What do you know?” “It’s not much, but we have something.” I grab the hem of my skirt and pull it up to reveal the dagger attached to my thigh. I pull it out and twirl it around my fingers, watching light glint from the blade. “Where did you get that?” Penguin asks. “Christmas present from Jerome. Hopefully it’s not just pretty.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham“ S5E7

Yeah yeah, I know this one’s a little late but I was a bit caught up with other  schtuff :/

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

Here we goooooo!!

“You’re the brother I never had.”  *shakes head*

“I’m [Barbara] pregnant.”  Great job, Jim.

Wait, are we gonna see the tunnel again?

I’m just.... *groans in frustration*

What?

*gasps*  Wait-wait- that’s the stage!

What are those rockets?

*gasps when the rockets go off*

Oh my God, and they all have Z’s on their chests!  Like ZORRO!

What is this?  Is this laughing gas?  Knock out gas?

*gasps in horror when the men start foaming at the mouth*

What the frick!

Oh this downward shot [of Jim at the radio] is awesome.

Who is this General Wade?  Are we gonna meet him?  Is it gonna be another bad guy like Walker?

“Pennyworth vanished five days ago.”  It’s been five days since the last episode?!?

Bruce...

“But I know that Alfred Pennyworth can take care of himself.”  *sits back and puts hand to chest*

All right, so as of now, this episode’s gonna freaking break me.

“In other good-ish news, Harper radioed.”  *gasps*  Where’s Harper been?

“It’s weird.”  It’s Gotham.

*Jim and Co. investigate the bodies*  Yeah, OK, OK, that’s the Zorro slash!  Did Jeremiah do that?

“Check out the mustache.”  “Fake.”  Oh my gosh, because in the 1920 “Mark of Zorro,” there was like a squad of them that like fake dressed themselves as Zorro!

“Think it could be Zsasz?”  That is not Zsasz.

“But whoever it is, if they have more of these chemicals and the will to use them-”  “It’s bye-bye, reunification.”  “Gotta stop him before news reaches the mainland.”  Is Jeremiah gonna freaking stop reunification?

*Bruce goes out to find Alfred*  Of course freaking Bruce- Bruuuce...

Oh my God, is that Crime Alley?

*Bruce stops to find a newspaper clipping about the Wayne Murders*  Oh my God, that’s Crime Alley.

*jaw drops in horror when Bruce finds a wall covered in the newspaper clippings*

*gasps when Bruce sees his parents walk by*  Wha-

Wait, what is this?

*gasps*  The tunnel!

Wait, Crime Alley is out in the Dark Zone?

*eyes bug out when Bruce finds a single pearl on the ground*

He’s gonna walk right into Wayne Manor.  God... dang it!

“‘Sup, Doc?”  *so done*  God dammit, Barbara.

“Oh, you [Lee] wouldn’t kick Jim’s baby mama to the curb now would you?”  Shut up!

“What do you say?  Be my O.B.?”  “You can’t be serious.”  What?!?

“You tried to kill me, Barbara.  Twice.”  “That was years ago.”  That was like five months ago, Barbara.  Shut up!

Actually yeah, it’s been a few years.

*actually keels back in seat when Jim enters*  GOD DAMMIT JIM, NO!

I... hate...this... so much!  I hate this love triangle so much.  God dammit!

That pink really does look good on you, Barb.  Just saying.

“Not everything’s about Jim Gordon.”  Thank you!

“[Jim] Your involvement in this [Barbara’s baby] ended the moment you put your pants back on.”  Ohhhh my God!  Damn!

You got yourself into some real shit, Jim!

*jaw drops when Bruce finds the stairs up to Wayne Manor*

*gasps when Bruce finds his parents*  Oh my God!

This music is fabulous, by the way.

“Who are you?”  He [Bruce] doesn’t recognize the parents!  God.... dang it!

“Look at the state of you.  What have I told you about rolling around in the muck?”  Oh my God, he’s mind controlled!

“We’re your parents.”  Oh my God...

*Jeremiah is revealed*  OHHH [expletive] you!

“Welcome home, Bruce.”  Nooo!

*groans in frustation*  I have to sit through this!

Why are you sitting like that?!?

*laughs when Jeremiah slides away from an attacking Bruce*  He’s like “Nope, I’m getting out of here!”

*Jeremiah reveals a bomb*  What??

“Is it [the bomb] Italian meringue?”  “Sure.”  *cracks up*

“Now, now, Bruce.  You come any closer and I [Jeremiah] blow up Wayne Manor with all of us inside of it.”  What?!?  Noo!

“I have a dozen more of these uh, Italian meringues sprinkled all throughout the house.”  God dammit.

“Mommy and Daddy dearest were just an innocent couple I kidnapped based on bone structure and... build.”  *covers mouth in horror*  Oh my God!

“Well, I'm afraid there was no room for improv in our script.”  Wait, everyone’s- wait, what?

“It’s the night my parents were killed.”  *sighs softly*  Oh God...

“And I'm giving you the chance to experience it all over again.”  Why?!?

I’m actually gonna cry watching this episode.

“Bruce, this- this was the most important day of your life.  And I didn’t get to be a part of it.”  *sings*  Shut the [expletive] up!

“Alfred, it’s time for dinner.  Chop chop!  We’re on a very tight schedule.”  Shut up with your voice- oh my Godd...

Whoa... never seen this dock.  That’s so obviously a New York dock so...

*eyes widen when one of the mines go off in the river*

“[Oswald] You didn't have a plan to get off this rock before you stole everyone's crap?”  *giggles*

“Jeremiah was digging a tunnel under the river.”  “A tunnel?  Really?”  “Do you have any better ideas?”  They don’t know where the tunnel leads!

*gasps when a swimmer trying to escape blows up in the river*

God- oh my God...

Please don’t tell me we’re gonna spend like a third of this episode just dedicated to just bitching about who’s right for Jim and whatever.

“About this Barbara thing-“ “Jim, just don’t.”  Thank you, Lee!

So Lee’s still Queen of the Narrows?  I do like that development.

God damn we’re having romantic candles too what the frick!

*A smug Jeremiah sits down next to Bruce*  Oh my God...

“How homey and intimate.”  *shakes head*

Cameron Monaghan just has a fantastic Joker smile.

*gasps when Alfred serves Bruce’s favorite childhood meal.”

“Grilled cheese and Branston pickle sandwich, Mr. Jeremiah.  Master Bruce's favorite.  My influence, though Thomas did add a dash of aioli for extra flair.”  Alfred’s just kind of dying inside even though he’s hypnotized.

“Oh, c’mon, Bruce.  That’s a weird favorite food for a twelve year old.”  *can’t help but chuckle*

AN:  Also, back off, Jeremiah!  I, for one, happen to love grilled cheese!

“Speaking of which, the final touch.”  Oh my God, the neck- *sighs*

*Quick flash of the Wayne murders back in the pilot*  God, no, we’re not showing this.

“I [Jeremiah] lost my family too, Bruce.  The wound still hasn’t healed.  I think about it often.”  Oh my God, is that his normal voice kicking in?

AN:  Also, can we please address this line?  ‘Cause damn.

“I just want to be connected to you.  I OFFERED FOR YOU TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!”  This is actually just really painful.

“But I’ve realized... if we can’t be friends then we can be connected in other ways.”  What does that mean?!?

“You’ll see.  In time.”  That was his actual voice kicking in.

*cracks up when Jeremiah steals Bruce’s grilled cheese and ends up really liking it*

*gasps when Jeremiah activates the timer on the bombs*  Nooo my God! 

They’re really gonna blow up Wayne Manor!

*slams hat down on laptop in frustration*

*Jim and Lee enter Ace Chemicals*  There we go!

Purple and green rockets, of course.

They’re [the workers] all hypnotized!

“They’ve been hypnotized.”  It’s Jervis.

“That tea party so long ago...”  Please do not remind me of that freaking scene.

*Jervis sics the workers on Jim*  Oh, go Jim!

Oh, go Lee too!  Dang!  Gooo!

*gasps*  Ecco!

*gasps when Ecco knocks out Jim with a crowbar*

“What?”  “It’s just you’re [Barbara] pregnant.”  *laughs*

Of course there’s a smiley face on the bomb!

“Alfred, you'd do anything to protect me [Bruce], right?”  “Absolutely, sir.”  “There's a gas leak. In the kitchen. It's only a matter of time before this whole place goes up.”  “A gas leak?  Where are your parents?  Where's our guest?”  “I've already warned them.  I know a way out. Come on!”  Oooh, smart, Bruce!

*gasps when Wayne Manor blows up*

*covers mouth in absolute horror*  Oh my God!

Oh my God!

“And let me tell you, if ever I see that Jervis Tetch character again, I’ll stick that watch so far up his...his nose.”  Please do.  Please do that, Alfred.

*pretty much dies when Bruce hugs Alfred*

“..never, master Bruce.”  I’m- I’m about ready to cry!

Alfred, get out of there!

Does she [Ecco] have a cape on?

Wait, so Jim does recognize Ecco!

*Ecco takes out her walkie talkie to talk to Jeremiah*  That is... the biggest... walkie talkie... I’ve ever seen.

“Hey, Tetch?  Y’know, it’s funny...”  Where’s his [Jervis’s] facial hair?

She [Ecco] has a fantastic laugh

*Jervis hypnotizes Jim and Lee*  God... noo!

*gasps softly when Alfred emerges from the tunnel*  Shoot!

“And now he's [Jeremiah] embarked on some madcap scheme where he's reenacting the night Bruce's parents were killed.”  Even Oswald’s like “Oh my God...”

“Don't you [Oswald] think that because I [Selina] did not kill Jeremiah does not mean that I won't kill you!”  *gasps*

“Bruce needs you [Selina].”  Yes he does!

“I suppose I [Oswald] thank you [Alfred].”  “Or you could help me to the Green Zone.”  “Of course.  It’s that way.”  *laughs*  He’s like “Whoop!  I’m out!”

Is this what I think it is?  It’s Zorro?

*gasps*  AND I’VE SEEN THIS VERSION!

And it’s the music too!  Yes!

*gasps when Jeremiah swings in on a stunt rope*

“Ole!”  :O

*shrieks in hilarity when Jeremiah does pretty much the Wonder Woman spin*

I HATE HIS [Zorro] ACCENT SO MUCH!

THAT IS SUCH A FAKE SWORD!

*is quickly proven wrong when Jeremiah slashes the Z’s on the men from the beginning*

Oh my God!

“Isn't this the part where you [Bruce] became frightened?  When you asked your parents to leave?  I [Jeremiah] wonder what would have happened if you hadn't done that.  If you had conquered your fear.  Maybe your parents would still be alive.”  No...  god dang it.

*Jeremiah ends the clip by swishing the Zorro cape towards the screen*  Ohhhh I like that!  I like that a lot!

*gasps when Bruce runs into Crime Alley*

“[Jeremiah] You don’t have to do this.!”  “But I...I do.”  No!

Wait a minute...

“And you think killing two people that look like my parents will do that?  It won't.”  “Well, then it's a good thing I already put a bullet in both of their fraudulent skulls.”  What?

“Oh, [Bruce] you're confused.  You're wondering if I already shot them, then who's this lovely couple?”  *absolutely horrified*  IT’S JIM AND LEE!

*pretty much yells in horror when Jim and Lee are revealed*

“Why not kill the man [Jim] who you [Bruce] think of as your second father figure?”  *covers mouth*

“And when I do, finally, you and I will be bound together.”  No!

*gasps in delight when Ecco rolls up to the scene*

AN:  WE NEED MORE OF THESE TWO [Jeremiah and Ecco] WORKING TOGETHERRRRR!!

*gasps*  Oh my God, she’s [Selina] in the fire escape!

“One last thing.  I [Jeremiah] had Jervis Tetch hypnotize them [Jim and Lee] so that they'll wake up the moment these beautiful pearls hit the ground.”  *gasps and sits back in discomfort*

*Selina uses her whip to stop Jeremiah*  YEAHH!  LET’S GO!

Let’s go!

*gasps when Jeremiah and Ecco activate the timer on the chemical rockets*  Oh my God!

Why is it on a timer?!?

“You [Bruce and Selina] go after Jeremiah and Ecco.  I’ll [Jim] take the truck!”  Wha- how come- what?  What?!?

Oh he [Jeremiah] runnin’!  He’s running!

Where’s Ecco?!?  She better get his diddly dumb ass out of there!

*gasps when Jeremiah leads Bruce to Ace Chemicals*  OH MY GOD, LET’S GO!  LET’S GOOO!

Oh my God, he’s [Jim] gonna dump it [the truck] in the river!

You better get your butt out of there!

*gasps*  Oh my God, that’s the pier!

*gasps when Jim jumps out just in time*

*keels over in relief*  Oh my Goddd... ha ha ha ha....

*says something unintelligible excitedly when Jeremiah just prances toward Bruce with a knife*

Oh, this fight scene is awesome.

*Jeremiah’s knife falls into the vat*  Ohhh hoo hoo...

“Ohhh... yes...”  *sits back*  Oh God, don’t say that!

*says “You mean nothing to me” along with Bruce*

*gasps when Jeremiah head butts him in response*

Oh my gosh, that creepy way he [Jeremiah] just got up!

“I’M THE ANSWER TO YOUR LIFE’S QUESTION!”  *gasps*

*yells in shock when Jeremiah accidentally falls into the vat*

Oh, that CGI was bad.  Ohhh ho ho, that kinda took me out of it.

That quick?!?

*jaw drops in shock when the bubbles stop in the vat*

*jaw still dropped when Jim realizes the chemicals from the rockets are flowing into the river*  Oh my God!

:0

*softly*  Oh my God...

There went reunification!

Where’s Ecco?!?

Why are you [Ed] here?!?

“After all this time, you've come to me for help.  After allowing Strange to put a chip into my brain.  Attempting to sell me out to Gordon.”  He’s talking to Oswald, isn’t he?

*laughs at the way Oswald turns towards Ed*

“First of all, I am very fond of that dog.”  *scoffs*  What’s next?  You guys gonna argue over custody?

“We have been through all of this before.”  Yes.

His [Ed’s] finger’s not even on the trigger!

“Haven’t you realized what Gotham is yet?”  A hellhole.

“And i think it’s time we escaped.”  Wait, ‘we’?

You two [Ed and Oswald] are gonna run off into the sunset together?  What?

Oh my- you two [Jim and Lee] better talk this out!  I swear to God.

“Word of the chemical spill reached the mainland.  No action until the government can determine if Gotham is safe.  I figure at least a couple of months.”  Wait, are we getting another time jump after this episode?

“What were you [Jim] about to say to me [Lee] when Tetch had us?”  It better not be ‘I love you.’

“I don’t know.  I guess I uh... would have said...”  ‘I’m sorry’?

“I wish I could go back.  Do things differently.  Better.”  *sits back and groans*

“Put yourself in my shoes.  After everything you said, suddenly you’re having a baby with Barbara of all people.”  Yeah!  I’m with Lee on this one!

“You talk about doing things differently and I keep thinking, what if we hadn't lost ours?”  *lets out a shocked and sad yell*

“What are you doing here, Lee?”  Wait, are y-no- you do not just freaking shoo her away!

*full on slaps laptop with hat*

I’m very upset with Jim right now.

“You let me down, Jim.”  Yes you did!  Finally, someone says it!  I am Team Lee from this moment on for this show!

*gasps when Lee slaps Jim*  Ooohhhh!!

Jim, you better not.

*sits back in seat when Jim and Lee make up*

*jaw drops when we see Jeremiah in a hospital bed*

Wwwhat?!?!?

“I can’t believe he’s still alive.”  “They’ve been doing scans, and he has no brain activity.”  Yeah, sure Jan.  Sure Jan.

Oh my God, they’re gonna Palpatine his ass?

Could you two [Bruce and Selina] just like hug?  Please?  For once in your life?

“Ohh my God.  You’re [Barbara] pregnant.”  *laughs*

“How could you [Ed] possibly know that?!?”  “Look at you.  She’s glowing.”  *absolutely loses it laughing*

*gasps*  THEY’RE GONNA MAKE A SUBMARINE!

“So where’s the submarine?”  They have to build it?

“We have to build it.”  “Yeah, I’m gonna shoot you.”  *laughs*

“What’s happening to me?”  You’re pregnant!

“Perhaps-“  “Shut up!”  *keels over laughing*

“So who’s the lucky father?”  “Shut up!”  *laughs*  I love Oswald!

*imitates Oswald’s pose*

*End title pops up*  Wait, they ended on that?!?  Are you serious?!?

*sighs then claps hands*  Cameron Monaghan, I’m gonna miss you, bud.  I’m gonna miss you so much.

All right, I do have a couple complaints:

The CGI when he fell in- that was poor.  That just kind of took me out of the moment.

Also, biggest question:  where’s Ecco?  Like, where did she go?  They just gonna leave her again?

And then, I think this episode is one definite reason why it kinda sucks that we have half a season because we don’t get all this important stuff happening like character development.  I have a feeling that things are gonna be kind of rushed.  While I admit that the pacing in this episode was not bad, the ending was a little weird.

Still, this was a good episode.

[dcficwriter]

Haunted

Ao3 link

Summary:  The nightmares will always be there, haunting him...

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Words: 1332 words

Prompt: Nightmares

Fandom: DC Comics / Batman 

Characters: Jason Todd, Original Female Character

Notes: Okay, so, not gonna lie, this isn’t written as well as I had hoped, but I wanted to get something out there for y’all. This is my first ever @badthingshappenbingo entry, so I hope y’all enjoy it.

Also, I have realized two things while writing this; one, I have no idea how to write a short drabble. Seriously, I think I'm incapable of writing something that's less than 1,000 words.... and two, I also really suck at endings. I'm sorry, y'all.

Tick, tick, tick.

The familiar sound of a ticking bomb echoed through the empty room as he looked around.  

“Jason, I’m sorry.”

The words of a mother who’d realized her mistake just a little soon, and he tried to push them out of his mind as he tried to figure out a way to escape.

He knew this wasn’t real, yet there was some sort of pull that he couldn’t quite explain that made him want to change things. Maybe this time, he could.

 Tick, tick, tick.

The ticking did little to calm his nerves, but he had to push through. He had to get out of there. as he noticed at the opposite end of the room, and as quickly as he could, he made his way over to it.

“I should’ve known better, Jason. I’m just so, so sorry.”

He ignored his mother’s words as he examined the door. There was no handle, no lock, nothing. But, there was still a silver of hope that he could get out of this. He just had to try.

 “What are you doing, little bird?”

Jason slowly turned towards the sound of the familiar voice in fear. He could hear his mother begin to cry as the Joker appeared, coming out of the shadows with the sadistic smile on his face, and a crowbar in his hand.

Without warning, the crowbar came down, and hit Jason directly in the face. He let out a scream of pain.

“You can never escape,” Joker said, swinging the crowbar down again. This time, a strangled noise that sounded like it came from a dying animal escaped his lips. Jason tried pushing himself up, but another blow came from the crowbar.

“You can never escape.”

But he had to. Jason had to get out of here, and save his mother, and make his way back to Bruce and Dick and Barbara, and everything else he stupidly left behind in Gotham. He had to get back.

Tick, tick, tick.

The bomb’s ticking seemed to be getting faster and faster, and Jason couldn’t tell how much time had passed, and how much he still had left.

“No,” he muttered, pushing himself up again. Although the crowbar hit him again, this time, his wavering wasn’t as apparent. As he tried to stand up, the Joker grabbed him by the collar of his costume and threw him into the middle of the room.

Jason stumbled a bit, before falling. He landed against something soft and turned to see his mother there - his real mother, looking down at him with nothing but regret. 

“You’ll die in here,” Joker said as he began swinging the crowbar again, “You’ll both die in here. And there’s nothing you can do about it.” Joker let out his maniacal laugh, and chills went up Jason’s spine. As the crowbar came down to strike him, his mother wrapped her arms around him, trying to protect him. But, it did little to nothing for Jason, as Joker’s swings kept coming, harder and harder each time. The madman didn’t care who he was hitting, so long as there was pain. And there was so much of it.

Tick, tick, tick.

“I’ve got to go, little bird,” Joker said as he brought the crowbar, now covered in blood, to his shoulder, “It’s been real fun.”

And with that, another laugh escaped Joker’s lips as he began to walk backwards.  

Jason didn’t know why, but he just felt the compulsion to close his eyes. He brought his hands to his ears, covering them in hopes of getting rid of that awful laughter. It’s still there, echoing in his mind, though, and he couldn’t seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried.

Quickly enough, the laughter died down, and when Jason opened his eyes, Joker was gone. Loud sobs began to echo throughout the room, and Jason realized that his mother was still holding onto him for dear life. He quickly pulled away, and again began to look for any form of escape.

Tick, tick, tick.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Jay..."

He could barely hear the voice over all the other noises in the room, but it was there, soft and familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it. He made his way to the door; maybe, this time, he'd make it out of the building, and save his mother. Maybe this time, he'd make it out alive.

"Jason..."

There it was again, faint through the sound of his mother's screams and sobs and the ticking of the bomb. He began clawing at the door, screaming as loud as he could.

"Jason..."

He heard it one last time, then there was nothing but a loud bang, and everything went black.

"Jason!"

His eyes opened wide, and as he sat up straight, he found himself in a bedroom. His bedroom. It took him a moment to completely connect the dots, but he felt himself slump back as he began to gain his composure.

“Babe…?”

He turned to the voice next to him as there was a shift in the bed. He was instantly pained when he saw his girlfriend sitting there, and panic set in when he noticed the tears falling from her red and puffy eyes.

“Did I …?”

He didn’t have the heart to finish the sentence. Even though he had been doing a lot better lately, both of them knew that he was still prone to violent outbursts, especially during his nightmare episodes. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he had hurt her again.

Before she could answer, he turned away, facing forward again as he closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath. Tears began brimming in his own eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was stronger than that... better than that...

He could feel the bed shifting again, and a weight sat on his lower half, the familiar feeling of the silk nightgown brushing at the hem of his boxers.

“Jay, look at me,” she said, “please.”

He opened his eyes, finding her right in front of him, her eyes no longer filled with tears, instead set with determination. He tried looking away again, but she brought her hands to his face, gently but firmly moved his face so he would have to look at her.

“Babe, you didn’t hurt me, I promise,” she said.

“It just seemed like a really bad nightmare,” she continued, leaning in to rest her forehead against his, “worse than usual. I was worried.”  

Even after all this time with her, he still wasn’t used to having someone else care, at least, not the way she did. He closed his eyes again, this time focusing on her touch. Her tiny hands were soft against his skin. How had he found such beauty amongst all the darkness in his life?

He took a deep breath in and let out a small sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I know,” she replied.

The two just sat there for what felt like eternity, the only sound heard was Jason's deep, even breaths. At some point, he realized he was drawing circles on her hips, barely glancing down when acknowledged it. When had he rested his hands there? He hadn’t remembered, but the familiarity of it all was comforting, none the less, and a smile played upon his lips.

Eventually, she leaned in tentatively, her beautiful eyes looking at him with a questioning gaze. Jason knew exactly what it was she wanted; he brought his hands to her back, and he closed the space between them, letting his lips hit hers’. It was a gentle kiss, with a hint of desperation. He quickly used his strength to flip the two around, pressing his body against hers’ with another kiss. He knew the nightmares would never really go away. But, at least, they weren’t so bad when she was by his side... 

“Jay, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[hessafeelsfordayss]

Theories/Rants.

This really is my last post on this matter. Unless I find out some new information. I know you all are probably tired of these, but I just really need to vent. I always leave things out in my other posts, but this time I'm gonna try my best not to leave anything out. Just warning you this is going to be really long, might contain some spoilers, and is probably unorganized. The choice is yours whether you read it or not. If you disagree that's fine, just please be respectful. If you agree, please let me know. :)

So first, I'm pretty irritated at the people who still say Jerome's not the Joker. I mean how much more proof do some of you need? Both Cameron and Danny have already confirmed Jerome is the Joker, plus all the clues point to him. He was officially called Joker in Jerome's rebirth promo, plus Danny was talking about Jerome at comic con and called him the Joker. Also, Jerome has way too many similarities with all the versions of Joker (especially Ledger, Leto, and Nicholson) Plus not to mention that you can spell 'Joker' with Jerome's full name (Jerome Valeska). I just don't understand how people can still say that he isn't, even after all the hints, and even confirmations. Not to mention the Joker card was in the episode where Jerome was resurrected. So anyway, to those wondering or doubting, he is indeed Joker (thank God). Just wanted to get that out there.

(There’s a lot more, but I’m just gonna stick with these)

Anyway, my second biggest issue is how people are saying Lee can't be Harley. I just want to point out that Gotham is an entirely different universe, and anything is possible.They stay true to the characters, but they make it their own to make it more interesting. Like for example; no one is supposed to know Joker's real name or his past, but we know a little about Jerome's past, such the fact that he grew up in a circus, with an absent father and a mother that abused him. Plus  we know his real name. So it is very possible for Lee to become Harley. Anyway, the two main reasons people think that she 'can't become Harley' is because she's already an important character in the comics, and shes's too old for Jerome. I understand she's her own character in the comics, but this version of Lee doesn't really match the comic book versions. First of all Lee in the comics is supposed to help Alfred raise Bruce, and be a mother-like figure to him. This Lee was basically just made to be Jim's on and off love interest (so far). She's only met Bruce a few times, and she's never mentioned that she knew Thomas and Martha. Also, Lee in the comics is supposed to be way older, whereas this Lee isn't that old. She said she was around the same age as Grace Fairchild (One of the ogre's victims).. so I would say she's in her mid or late twenties.

Leslie in the comics:

Grace Fairchild:

Now the second reason, is people say she is too old for Jerome. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say Jerome doesn't care about age. I mean he has come onto both Barbara and Lee. Both ladies are older than him, not to mention he's the one that flirted with them first. I really think he may have mommy issues. Like some girls grow up with either an absent father or a bad father, so they end up having daddy issues. I believe it's the same case for Jerome considering he didn't get the love and affection from his mother that a child should. He's flirted with Barbara and called her gorgeous, and he's flirted with Lee, called her pretty, and asked her if they ever had sex. So he's obviously attracted to them. And I believe they're attracted to him as well. Barbara acted disinterested, but there was moments where she would flirt back. Like she would laugh at his jokes, and she even said 'the kid had a way about him.' Then, to me, Lee has seemed interested from day one. She watched him in the interrogation room and had a slight smirk (the corners of her mouth were lifted slightly), then after the interrogation was over she was still thinking about it and even said 'it was ugly but thrilling.'

This was her still thinking about what happened.

Then when he came back alive and took her hostage you could really tell. At first glance, she did seem disinterested I admit. But when you watch it again, and you pay close attention to the way they look at each other, watch their body language and etc, you can tell they feel something. Whether it be lust, fascination, desire, etc. Of course she was gonna act all hard and tough, I mean he’s a psychotic criminal and she was probably ashamed for her feelings (both because he’s crazy and younger than her), but you see moments where it looks like she lets her guard down and she's close to giving in.  I know he liked both of them, but I think he feels more of a connection with Lee though. Don't get me wrong, he and Barbara seemed to have chemistry too, but I think he has a soft spot for Lee. I noticed Jerome used to get annoyed with Barbara a lot. Like he would roll his eyes at her and shake his head and you could just tell she annoyed him. One of those times was when she punched Lee at the gala. And I know that’s how Joker is with Harley, but I still think he has more of a connection with Lee.  With Lee, he seems kind of protective over her in his own way. He has both saved and spared her life. In 'The Last Laugh' he saved her from being stabbed by Barbara. Then in 'Smile Like You Mean It' and 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' she's the only one he didn't try to hurt or anything. In 'Smile Like You Mean It' he killed two cops, and Dwight. Then in 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' he went after Bruce and was gonna kill Alfred too. Then he made his own torture circus, where he and his cult tortured many innocent people. He dropped that guy into the piranha tank, and he stabbed the clown that was doing Bruce's makeup. He even shot someone from his own cult just because he was cheering for him too loud. All he did to Lee was hold her hostage, and then tied her hands to the examination table. He didn't hurt, or kill her. And believe me, he had plenty of motive.. considering Jim is the one that put him in Arkham in the first place. He knows how much Lee meant to Jim, and he knew it would have been the best way to hurt him.. but all he did was tie her up, and gag her. And a lot of people say that he only spared her life for the sake of keeping her character on the show, but why did they choose Lee's character to be there anyway? Usually, I would've thought it was a coincidence, had it not been for the fact that Lee was always present during Jerome's most important scenes. She was present during it all. She was there when he was first introduced (she was also the reason they were there in the first place. Both because she had circus tickets, and she's the one that found out about Lila.) She was there when they found Lila's body, she was in the interrogation room (which was the first, and last time she was in there while a suspect was being interrogated), she was at the GCPD when Jerome and the Maniax were shooting up the place, she was the one he and Barbara took hostage at the gala (she also witnessed his death), and she was the one he took hostage when he first woke up. The writers are in control of everything.. why would they choose Lee's character out of all the other characters to be present during all these scenes?

Also "Everyone else has seen the Joker laugh, but only Harley has ever seen him cry."- Arleen Sorkin. Lee held and comforted Jerome when they found his mother's body (I know he was faking, but I still think it counts. The thing that stood out to me was the fact that Lee held him.. because I think Harley is the only one who gets to hold the Joker and see him cry.)

He wasn’t crying here, but she’s holding him from behind in a kind of similar way.

Plus there are many characteristics that she already has in common with Harley. Like the fact that she's a doctor, with trauma training. Even though she's not a professional psychiatrist like Harley, she basically is still somewhat of a therapist. Considering people always go to her when they need someone to talk to, plus she's always giving therapeutic advice. Like she talked to Barbara about Jason, since that was the only way Barbara would have talked to anyone. We all know the reason now, but she still talked to her. Then she was the one Alfred called when he thought Bruce was going through some trauma from being kidnapped and needed someone to talk to. Lucious went to her and asked why someone would engage in such cat and mouse games like Ed was.  And Jim even called her a residential therapist.  A big bonus is not only is she a doctor, but she also worked at Arkham. That's where she was first introduced on the show. Plus in the comics, Suicide Squad, and The Animated Series Joker calls Harley 'doc' or 'doctor' a lot. Lee is the only one Jerome calls doc.

There's also some small, but relevant clues. Like the fact that her name is Leslie Thompkins, but she mainly goes by Lee. Lee is both in Harleen, and Harley (Harlee), so she could easily change her name to one of the two. Plus is you say it out loud, Thompkins can also kind of sound like ThompQuinns. Before Barnes was infected his name was Nathaniel Barnes, but when he got infected he renamed himself 'the executioner'. So she could change her name as well. I know Jim gave her the antidote, but the news reporter said there was only a 90% cure rate. Plus she was infected not only once, but twice. She first injected the blood into her arm willingly, and then she also got hit with it again when the bomb went off. Plus she didn't want to take the antidote, so it may affect her differently than everyone else. And who's to say the antidote would be 100% effective anyway.. considering it was the first batch that was made (I'm pretty sure, could be wrong though). My point is she could still come back, with a new persona. Anything could be possible at this point. She could still have some of the virus running through her veins, and she lied to Jim maybe. Or she could be cured, but because she liked the dark side so much she could choose to be bad still. I don't believe Lee is gonna be gone long, because Morena didn't say she anything about leaving the show or anything. So I believe she will be back. Maybe go back to Gotham and work at Arkham again? Or something along those lines. Another small but relevant clue is she has a sister. As far as I know Barbara was an only child, that little girl looked to be an only child, and I think Silver was an only child. But Silver isn't possible anymore. Since she wasn't in the finale. It's narrowed down between the little girl, Lee, and Barbara. Possibly fish, but I seriously doubt it. Anyway in the comics Harley makes it known that she has a daughter with Joker named Lucy, who her sister takes care of.

So that's a pretty big clue to me. Especially because it's new 52 Harley (the one with red and black hair). Let's also not forget the fact that the writers and David Mazouz said that Harley is definitely in the finale, and Lee was wearing all Harley colors in that episode. First she was wearing a black and white dress, then red and black, and then at the end of the episode she was wearing blue, red, black, and white. (other Harley colors).

Her outfits before the antidote:

Her entire outfit was red and black.. even her sunglasses, shoes, and purse.

After the antidote:

Plus Lee has been highlighted in red a lot this season. Like in the light her hair  highlights red, plus she wore red and black a few times (especially towards the finale), and her house was red and black.

Another small clue is she acted a lot like Harley when she had the virus. She was still corny, she laughed a lot, she was manipulative, she was flirty/ seductive, and a lot of people don't talk about this, but her eyes turned blue in Babs and Tabs club (in the finale may I mention) and in the train. So she was wearing Harley colors, she had Harley traits (enhanced strength and agility; Throwing Butch across the bar), and her eyes turned blue.. all in the same episode which happens to be the episode Harley was supposed to appear in.

Her being corny/sarcastic/flirty:

Harley traits: Red and black, enhanced strength, and blue eyes.

And we have to narrow it down guys. The writers, and David both said Harley was for sure in the finale. Some more things they've said about Harley's character is 'you may have already seen Harley as someone you thought you had met and known for a long time', 'this person will somehow be connected to the Joker Cult World', and 'Harley's appearance is gonna be crazy.' They said her appearance will be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. So the only ones that match with all of these is Lee and Barbara. The little girl we didn't meet nor know for a long time, as far as we know she isn't connected to the Joker Cult World, but her first appearance was crazy. Some people are saying she had pigtails, and a red purse.. but I’m pretty sure she didn't. She had one ponytail, and her purse was brown. She did however have a checkered skirt on, and a pink shirt I think.

Plus don't get me wrong, but that family seemed happy. Harley's family was damaged. Her father was a criminal, and her mother always compared her to evil people. She wanted to work at Arkham in the first place because she wanted to know why her father was the way he was. In this family the father actually tried to save his family, and the mother tried to guard her. I think they put that family in there randomly just to show Bruce starting to become Batman.. or maybe she will be the future Batgirl. I could actually see that happening, especially since Batgirl kind of looked up to Batman. This little girl will more than likely look up to Bruce since he saved her family. Cameron and Ben were once tweeting each other and Cameron said 'spoilers: BATGIRL' or something along those lines. Ben also got asked if Batgirl was gonna be part of this universe and he said they've been talking about it and they have to see where Jim is, and where Barbara is. Plus someone asked Erin if Batgirl would be part of the show or something along those lines, and she said there probably wouldn't be a baby because that would be the end for Barbara. So the show is talking about bringing Batgirl in it, but Erin said their probably wouldn't be a baby. So I could really see that little girl becoming Batgirl. I think they're either planning on doing that, or it was just a coincidence. I honestly don't think she's Harley. Nothing really 'screamed Harley'  to me other than the fact that she appeared in the episode they said Harley would be in, and the checkered skirt and pink shirt. I think it would be a bad move for them to make her Harley. Because the actress herself was really young. People are saying Lee and Barbara are too old for Jerome.. well the little girl is too young for Jerome and Cameron. I know Harley is supposed to be younger than Joker and Batman, but if this little girl is Harley then we won't get to see any scenes between Harley and Jerome. People are gonna get mad at me, but be honest, when you think of Joker who else do you think of? Harley. And when you think of Harley who else do you think of? Joker. Sometimes Ivy. Erin Richards herself said they're a team. We won't get any Jarley scenes if Cameron is 23 and the little girl is probably 12. Don't you all want to see Jerome and Harley interaction scenes? Or even Harley and Ivy scenes. Once again there won't be any scenes between Harley and Ivy due to the fact that Maggie is 30 and the little girl is around 12. Now I would be okay if they were just showing the little girl to introduce her, and then maybe recast her with someone older.. but I really don't think it's her. She only adds up to one thing, out of three.

Then there's Barbara, who adds up with all three. We've met and known her for a long time, she's connected to the Joker Cult World (she's interacted with Jerome), and I thought it was pretty crazy that she got electrocuted. That could probably be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. But once again, I really don't think she's gonna be Harley either. She could be, and I guess I would be okay with that if she portrays her right, but I really don't think she is. You all are gonna think I'm crazy, and I probably am for thinking this, but what if Barbara is gonna be Livewire? Now I know her background and stuff doesn't match Livewire's, but she did get electrocuted. If I remember correctly Livewire was electrocuted (I don't know too much about her, so go easy on me.. I'm probably wrong). There are a few different versions of how it happened. Like in one version she was about to be in a helicopter crash when Supergirl saved her. But Supergirl got struck by lightning and the electricity went through her and to Leslie. Another version I think Superman was trying to save her from the stage because it caught on fire and he got electrocuted and it passed through her as well. My point is, pretty much in every version, Leslie became livewire through electrocution. Also when Leslie becomes Livewire her hair turns blue (in some versions bluish-gray) and her eyes get a really light blue. Also her skin becomes really pale. Barbara was really pale, and her eyes were really blue when she got electrocuted. She could have died and it's only natural for her to look like that.. but what if she didn't die? I believe it's possible. Not to mention, in Supergirl Leslie was blonde and had blue eyes, like Barbara. Plus as far as I know, Livewire is seductive and a little corny as well. And I'm not sure how accurate this is, but someone said one of the writers said they would like for Barbara and Harley to team up when Babs and Tabs break up. Harley, Livewire, and Poison Ivy teamed up for a little bit in the animated series. Plus I know Livewire is more of a Superman villain, but she does make appearances in Batman the Animated Series. I'm probably wrong, but it's possible. Either that or maybe the electrocution will make her sane? Maybe Barbara herself will become Batgirl?

I believe she could still become Harley though. She looked pale, and she was already displaying Harley- like character traits. In Suicide Squad movie Joker shocks Harley's brain.. so it's still possible. Also to be fair, I'm not counting anyone out, there was also Fish in that episode, but I highly doubt she's Harley. She does have some characteristics.. such as using a bat for a weapon, she's bi, she has one blue eye, and she wears black and red all the time. But her personality doesn't match Harley's in the slightest. She's more of a leader, and she's mainly about power and respect. So the one I really think is Harley is Lee. She's a character we've thought we've known and loved for a long time (she's changed a little bit every season. In season one she was this corny, sarcastic, lovable doctor. Then in season two she was still the same, but she was becoming a little darker, and then in season three we got to see a really dark side of her. One that acts a lot like Harley). She's connected to Jerome (Joker Cult World) she even nursed one of his cult members and she's seen how they dress. She was present during most of his important scenes, and she's interacted (and flirted) with him. And I wouldn't necessarily say her leaving was crazy, since she said she was going to for a while now, but it did kind of leave us hanging. Plus her leaving and coming back bad again could be a good launching point. Now, when she injected herself with the virus and first became evil, that was pretty crazy. Maybe that's what they meant? 

"She's definitely one of the more unpredictable members of the squad. She also used to be a psychiatrist so she has an extensive knowledge of mental illnesses and how to manipulate people-- I'm sorry, well, she has a lot of knowledge on how to profile people, pick their triggers, and as Harley Quinn she kind of utilizes that to just manipulate people and mess with them." - Margot Robbie. When Lee was infected with the virus she manipulated Jim by saying she was in love with him. I honestly don't think she loved Jim anymore.. because when you love someone you put their needs before your own. She literally gave him no other choice but to take the virus, knowing how much he didn't want to. She was gonna let him die if he didn't take the virus. It was basically a lose-lose situation for Jim and a win-win situation for Lee. And she didn't want to be with the normal Jim, she only wanted to be with him while he had the virus. So Lee didn't love Jim.. at least not truly love him. Because if she did she would have put his needs before hers. They basically confirmed this.

Unrequited Love: Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it.

Another thing that I want to point out is Lee craved darkness all this time. I called it from day one since she watched Jerome in the interrogation room. She was watching him with intrigue, and you can see her smirk slightly when he revealed his true nature. "It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Perfect Doctor Lee Thompkins, why would she be drawn to a man with so much darkness and such an appetite for violence? Unless something inside her liked it. Craved it. Needed it." This makes me think of that sickness Harley has, where it turns her on when her partner does something bad. So if she craved darkness all this time, there’s no way she wasn’t at least a little attracted to Jerome. He’s the darkest character on the show. 

And don’t you all find it a little strange that there was two ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ on the show? Because I do. This is probably the craziest theory I’ve ever had, but what if Lee’s real name was Harleen, and she stole the other woman’s identity.. Yeah this is by far the craziest theory, but I just think it’s so weird that there was two. I know the show loves to keep us guessing, but I’ve also noticed they love to give hints and subtly foreshadow things.

She’s even credited as ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ in the cast.

Some more things that are small but relevant clues:

1. She's seen how Mary Loyd does her makeup (The heart under the same eye as Harley) 

2. She has the obsession part

First she was obsessed with Jerome’s case, then she was obsessed with blaming Jim for Mario’s death, and then she was obsessed with Jim taking the virus and embracing ‘who he really is’. She’s a character of obsession, as is Harley.

3. Histrionic Disorder: 

Histrionic Personality Disorder:

-Dress provocatively and/or exhibit inappropriately seductive or flirtatious behavior

Her whole outfit screamed ‘look at me!’ Her breasts were popping out big time, her eyeliner was heavy enough to draw attention to her, and she was wearing sunglasses. I know wearing sunglasses is normal, but I don’t know about you all but I notice someone a lot faster when they’re wearing sunglasses. 

Her inappropriately flirting with Alfred 

-Shift emotions rapidly

-Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity

(She’s done this quite a lot actually. She made a huge scene and outed Jim in front of the other GCPD officers, she especially did this when she went to the GCPD and told Harvey she buried Jim alive. Not to mention she threw Butch across the bar, not caring who saw.)

-Be overly concerned with physical appearance

-Constantly seek reassurance or approval

-Be gullible and easily influenced by others

(It didn’t take much effort from Jervis to convince her Mario’s death was ‘all her fault’. She’s more gullible than you would expect.)

-Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval

(She was yelling at Jim and blaming him for Mario getting infected, but when Jim stood up for himself, she seemed really hurt.)

-Not think before acting

-Make rash decisions

-Be self-centered and rarely show concern for others

4. Similarities/parallels 

5. She's 'sane' right now, but I believe she will return and be bad again. This is a common thing for Harley. She switches from good to bad a lot 

8. Hers and Jerome's connection..

They show common body language signs of attraction:

1. Mirroring: Copying the other’s gestures, word phrases, etc.

Frequent touching:

She squeezed his bicep.

I understand it’s only normal for her to grab a hold of him out of surprise.. but one of her hands was on his already, and then she hesitantly placed her other hand on top of his other hand. 

Prolonged eye contact: Not to mention the way they look at each other. I haven’t seen them look at anyone else the way they look at each other. You don’t look at just anyone like that.

9. Morena basically confirmed herself as Harley: I think her emoji‘s meant she visited Mad Hatter in Arkham, which then linked to her injecting herself with the virus, and becoming Harley Quinn. <3

Both Lee and Harley have high-intelligence listed as one of their abilities. Amanda Waller once called Harley a genius. 

This is really long and probably very unorganized and I apologize. There’s also probably a lot of mistakes, but I hope you all can overlook them :) I know I said I wouldn't miss anything, but knowing me I probably missed a lot. If you agree please let me know, I love feedback. If you don’t that’s perfectly fine just please be respectful is all I ask :) 

[lateniterhymesandjustifiedcrimes]

I haven't been here in a while...

And wow I’d forgotten I used to write. I miss that part of me. I guess getting older really does change a person. I’m 25 now and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have so many dreams. I wanna move to Korea and make a life there. It just looks so beautiful and fresh. I want that, Fresh. I want to start a YouTube channel. I’m even working on a concept now, but it’s proven to be tougher than I thought. Well, not really tougher, but unforeseen obstacles are presenting themselves. I want a dance studio. But nowadays I’m more broke than my boyfriend trying to sell his mixtape (inside joke).

Oh I have a boyfriend.

He’s a guy I loved 7 years ago. A guy I ruined a perfectly good 2 year relationship for. I literally crossed an ocean to tell a man I loved I was leaving him for a man I loved 7 years ago. Why? I don’t fucking know. I’m just a terrible person. I need to start from the beginning.

My stories normally don’t include names but here’s an exception. I met Anthony in fall 2010 when I first started college. He was this scrawny Filipino guy and idk but I wanted him. He was kind, innocent, a little shy, and really funny. I was into that back then because I was this little virgin girl who wanted another virgin to lose her virginity to, kinda like equivalent exchange (that didn’t happen, but that’s another story). I made an effort to be his friend (and through that effort, I met the people who would eventually became my family). Our friends totally shipped us, too. Anthony and I went on 1 date. To Mr. Taco. And we walked there. Yeah, neither of us could drive at the time. But, we had great conversation and I popped his horchata cherry. I really thought we connected.

Unfortunately, Anthony only saw me as a friend. For the first time, I knew what true friend zone felt like. I say true friend zone because people like to complain about being in the friend zone but never let the object of their affection know they’re interested and then stay in the friend zone. I made my intentions perfectly CRYSTAL clear. Men can be such idiots.

Anyways, time went by and we added another girl to our group. Anthony was totally into Maribel and no matter how hard I fought for his affection, he only saw her. They would date for 4 years. During those 4 years I had lost contact with him because she was the type of girl who commanded all of his attention. He had lost contact with all of us and broke some friendships because of her. During those 4 years, I’d managed to date 3 guys; Darek (most annoying dude on the planet and I have no idea why we’re still friends today), Phil ( the man I regret losing my virginity to, who is now engaged to a woman I’m pretty sure he cheated on me with), and Sammy.

I met Sammy through tinder. I joined tinder to feel wanted again (this was after my breakup with Phil and I was feeling incredibly empty because I was no longer pure). I didn’t expect much from Sammy. I just wanted to casually date. Of course this guy had other plans. After our first date (movie and accidentally meeting most of my friend group…awkward), he kissed me goodbye and that had to be the most passionate, sexy thing I’d ever experienced. Which is why I agreed to a second date…and a third date…and having sex with him…on my period…in his car…yup. On our 4th or 5th date (I can’t remember) he asked if we should make us exclusive.

Now in my head I was like hell fucking no. Sammy was in the navy and I knew from the get go I wasn’t into long distance shit. Plus I just wanted to be a slut. He wasn’t my type at all. He was a bit shorter than me, not super attractive (shallow I know, but I’m thinking about my future children here), he liked music I made fun of, and he didn’t dance. And I told him this shit. So we continued fucking around until he left for Hawaii.

Shortly after he left he told me the ship was taking a trip to Santa Barbara for a weekend for supplies or something. Idk why but I didn’t hesitate when he asked if I could meet him there. And it was best weekend of my life. We finally boned in a bed. We talked so much. We drank and danced and sang and kissed. We kissed a lot. And sometime during that weekend, not at the same time, we told each other “I love you.” He would be gone for 2 months and when I finally got to see him again, I knew we were in this for the long haul.

When you’re in love with someone, the things that didn’t initially attract you to them start to become attractive. Like his body. And his taste in music. And his style. And his personality. We were a great couple. He taught me responsibility and I taught him acceptance. And what I mean by acceptance is that I wasn’t his type of girl either. I dance, I love the gays, I’m irresponsible af, and I’m black. But we both became more open and better people because of each other. I had never so physically and spiritually attached to a person. I learned to do the long distance thing and for the first time really truly understood the need for your love's presence. I craved Sammy like nothing I'd ever craved in my life.

A little over a year passed and I was convinced this man was god sent to be my husband. We had met each other's families and were accepted. Sure, we would fight and argue a few times, but that's healthy and the make ups were well worth it. We talked about baby names and our future. A future that included Japan. His ship was moving to Yokosuka and we would be apart for 2-5 years. I was devastated and reminded why I didn't want this relationship early on, because of the long distance. But because of how much I loved him and how strong I believed our love to be, I stayed. We made plans for me to visit 5 months after he left. It would be the longest amount of time I would be without him. But I believed in our love.

Until Anthony came back into my life. I got invited to his 23rd birthday out of the blue and we reconnected. It had been a while since we'd been with our old group I started college with (he left because of Maribel and I left because of Darek). We both were a little lonely so we started hanging out again. Just the 2 of us. And we TALKED so much. I'd forgotten how close we used to be and the things we had in common. I thought it felt like we were dating, so I invited the whole group out for a day in LA so we wouldn't be alone. Those fuckers agreed and I went ahead and made plans and the day before everyone canceled, except Anthony. They were shipping the hell out of us again. The problem was that I was already happily taken. Our group trip turned date was really fun. And I was afraid of that. We got home late that night and I ended up sleeping over at his house. This wasn't the first time I slept over in his room. But this time was different. There was this tension between us that had never existed before. He was gonna give up his bed for me, but I insisted he sleep in his own bed. We both ended up in his bed. We didn't cuddle. And I couldn't sleep. So I rolled over to face him. And he rolled over and put his hand on my arm, like a really awkward cuddle. And I asked him, "How different would our lives had been if we had dated all those years ago?" (Or something very similar.) I don't remember his response, but I do remember my breathing suddenly getting ragged and me leaning in to kiss him.

First kisses are so fucking magical. Just something about kissing a new person for the first time oh my god. My first kiss was pretty bad, so every kiss afterward was mind blowing because I started kissing guys that knew what they were doing. The way he kisses me and holds me and his eyes and that thing he does with his tongue ahhh it's different for every guy and it's a fantastic and wonderful and different feeling every time. I live for those feelings. In that moment kissing Anthony, I forgot I had Sammy. And in that moment I knew I was never quite over Anthony. Anthony and I knew what we were doing. But staying away from each other was just too difficult. We never had sex, but with all the time we were spending with each other, we might as well have.

I was so conflicted. I started hating myself all over again. I never imagined myself as the cheater in a relationship. Sammy and I made a rule that if either of us cheated, that would be the end of the relationship. And at this time, I had already bought my ticket to Japan. Non refundable. I was going whether I liked it or not. And my 2-week notice was already in at work. I was so disgusted with myself for not being strong enough to stay faithful to my man. But I was also happy because of Anthony. He had a way of making a problem disappear. But eventually I had to tell him that we couldn't be together. I loved Sammy and I planned on marrying him one day. We had plans to move to New York together after Japan. Anthony cried and his crying made me cry. Nobody was a winner here.

I flew to Japan and met up with Sammy. It was supposed to be a beautiful magical reunion, but I was clearly bitter. I spent the whole flight thinking about how to tell him I cheated. He noticed but didn't comment. I spent a week getting settled in, going on dates, taking in the sights. Every moment with Sammy in Japan made me want to stay with him forever. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. I told him what I did after I had a dream of me confessing. We talked for so long. He was willing to take back our rule if we both agreed to look over this and stay together. And I almost agreed. The words telling him yes we're on the tip of my tongue. But that's also the moment I realized it didn't matter how in love I was with Sammy. I wasn't trustworthy nor grateful enough to be his forever. He didn't deserve someone as unworthy of his love as me. So I told him I was choosing Anthony. I felt the weight of that decision immediately. He started crying. I never want to be the cause of such sadness ever again. I've never hurt anyone the way I hurt Sammy that day. He told me he had bought a ring and was planning on proposing the second month I'd be in Japan in Kyoto. It was a proposal only he could pull of and super cheesy and so much better than the proposal I'd fantasized about. And that's when I started crying. We spent the next week trying to figure ourselves out and angry fucking (best sex of my life, hands down). He tried to salvage our relationship but it was quickly made apparent that what we had was broken. My last night in Japan we had our last date. And was wonderful, but bittersweet. And the next day, I was all packed up to leave. He walked me to the elevator and as the door closed told me I can still stay if I want to. To this day, I still question if I made the right decision.

Anthony picked me up from the airport and our relationship blossomed from there. A year and a half later and we're still together. Sammy and I stopped talking, but I'm still not over him. I know that's unhealthy especially since I'm with someone else, but I can't help but still love him. I never wanted to leave. But I knew staying wasn't any better. That's not to say I don't love Anthony. I just don't love him the same way. The connection between Sammy and I is completely different than the one between Anthony and I. Both different, but both amazing. In hindsight, I should have taken more time to be single before jumping into another relationship, but I just couldn't stay away (slut).

I drank almost every day and watched any and every romance movie on Netflix when I got back. I was unemployed, lazy, and emotional. I stopped dancing. I gained weight. I developed a loathing for myself. This lasted for 8 months and Anthony wasn't having that shit, so he pretty much forced me into a summer dance intensive and made me get a dance job. I also got my job back at Ihop and went back to school to get more AA's. I think that's what made me really love Anthony, how he pushed me.

I don't want to get too into our relationship because I feel that should be a separate story. I just feel compelled to tell the story of the man I would literally cross an ocean for and the expensive breakup that followed. I guess only time will tell if I made the right decision. It's 4am and I have to be up in 3 hours so it looks like I'll just end the story here. Good night.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 1x04-- Henceforth Known As Property

Thoughts on 1x04 under the cut!

The episode begins with an image of the schtup list from last week, which is… fine but not engaging. Maia is annotating it in a crowded elevator. That makes sense! Why wouldn’t you take a confidential document, which you obtained illegally, pertaining to an ongoing investigation on to a crowded elevator at your workplace?

A woman offers Maia unsolicited cooking advice. She’s confused. Another woman jumps in to dispute the first woman’s advice. Maia remains confused. She exits the elevator, and Lucca greets her with information about a fertility case she’ll be working on.

Maia says that’s good, but Lucca realizes she’s a bit shaken and asks if she’s okay. Lucca needs Maia to find precedents for the case, then adds, “And tell me if you’re getting some bad-mouthing.” “If I’m getting…?” Maia asks. “Well, people say things. You know, sometimes people don’t know better,” Lucca explains. When Maia asks if people are talking, Lucca responds, “No. I mean, no more than what you said.” Sorry, does this mean that Lucca, who actually knows Maia, believes that an unverified twitter feed with the bio “Daddy’s little lesbian” is an account Maia is involved with?

Before Lucca can explain further, Barbara pulls her into a meeting.

Marissa knows what’s up: “It’s not your twitter feed, is it?” she says to Maia. Maia is still confused, so Marissa shows her.

“It’s hard to get excited about work when people call you lesbo behind your back.” -- @MaiaRindellSays. Yes. Because real Maia would definitely tweet about her workplace in the middle of a scandal under her real name. This sounds believable.

(I won’t get stuck too much on this point; I was in a fandom once where a 12 year old impersonated someone on Twitter and frequently tweeted about her own middle school homework and people still believed she was a 40 year old celebrity.)

(I don’t know where this music is from!!! Someone find it, please!)

The profile for @MaiaRindellSays (which is not a real account, boooo! The writers USED to make real accounts for their featured twitter trolls, like @Upriser7!) reads: “Daddy’s little lesbian. Love life and never change. YOLO.” I mean that sounds totally fake but okay.

This twitter account—which we later learn is a bot set up years ago—must be a super smart bot if it knows to tweet Maia’s feelings about her dad going to jail.

Fake Maia also tweets about canning fruit, and I wish they’d given her a different hobby because every time anyone says “canning” I think they’re going to summon Louis Canning and I’d rather they didn’t.

Fake Maia talks about sex too!

“Do you have any enemies?” Marissa asks Maia. Maia has a lot of enemies, Marissa! (Here’s a better question: does Maia have any friends? I understood when Alicia—who was in her early 40s in TGW season 1 (which took place in 2009-2010), was technologically inept, and was kind of a loner—didn’t know when internet things were happening. But would Maia really be so disconnected? Is she making an effort to unplug after those harassing calls? Are friends not willing to trust her? Do they think it’s too awkward to reach out? Are Amy’s friends reaching out to her? Why aren’t we seeing more about this side of the scandal? YMMV but to me, these questions are far more interesting than tracking down a twitter troll.)  

“It’s the scandal,” Maia realizes. “What do I do?”

Marissa says the way to track down the fake is to tweet to her. “I’m gay and like canning, too. We should meet up. :-)” Marissa DMs fake Maia.

COTW time! Case stuff happens!

I’m amused that the client’s last name is Salano, which I kept hearing as Solano at first, and her case is a dispute about eggs. Jane the Virgin, anyone? I’m sure that show could find a way to connect Laura Salano to Raf and Petra.

One thing I like about the case: Laura is a friend of Barbara’s. Another thing I like: the RBK team on this case is all female.

Barbara calls Diane in to help on the case, and once Diane leaves, Barbara moves closer to the client. That’s when it becomes clear they’re friends. “So you’re expanding?” Laura asks, referring to Diane. “Girl…” is all Barbara can say. “Explain,” Laura says. And then we cut away from them, and that’s fine, because we already know how Barbara feels about this. But this is one of those little “throwaway” scenes that end up mattering a lot to a show. Seeing Barbara around a long-time friend clues us in on who Barbara is outside of the office, even if all the information we’re really getting here is that Barbara has friends. (And, uh, that means a lot in this universe, because a lot of the characters don’t seem to have friends.)

Diane spies a man in Adrian’s office. She asks Marissa who it is. She has a suspicion, but needs Marissa to confirm. Marissa tries to be inconspicuous… and knocks a painting off the wall. Adrian and the man—Mike Kresteva, the Lying Liar—turn to look at her.

“Mike Kresteva,” Marissa tells Diane. (It makes sense for Marissa to recognize him; she’s Eli’s daughter after all.) Diane gets worried, and instructs Marissa to pull Adrian out of the meeting.

Marissa and Mike make eye contact. I wonder if Mike recognizes her. It would make sense if he did.

“Mike Kresteva. What’s he doing here?” Diane asks Adrian once he’s left the meeting. Adrian doesn’t know yet and wants to know why Diane is alarmed. “One of the partners at my firm, Alicia Florrick, knew him. He made her life hell,” Diane explains, accurately.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen Diane interact with Kresteva before, though he would’ve been a figure she’d heard a lot about, both through the gubernatorial race (she represented Peter in that voter fraud case!) and through Alicia. This Alicia reference is a necessary one. Diane doesn’t fear Kresteva because she disagrees with his politics; she fears him because she’s heard Alicia’s stories. I doubt Diane knows the anecdote about Alicia calling Kresteva Hitler and to his face and then telling him to die chocking on his own blood because she knows what she actually says to him doesn’t matter one bit, but, yeah. Kresteva’s that awful.

Anyway, Diane is warning Adrian that Kresteva is a Lying Liar.

The scariest thing about Kresteva, I think, is that he’s totally aware he’s lying. He just doesn’t care. He’s not gullible or easily confused. No—he’s calculated and cruel.

“I can handle myself,” Adrian tells her. Yeah. Sure. Diane isn’t satisfied with that answer and absentmindedly hands Marissa a sheet of paper. Marissa has to remind her to explain—a nice way of conveying how consuming and intense Diane’s dread of interacting with Kresteva is.

Kresteva is now on a task force about police accountability. He’s a fictional character in a fictional world, but that still makes me want to cry. The first time we met Kresteva, in W319 (Blue Ribbon Panel), he was making excuses for and shutting down inquiry into a cop shooting and then framing an unarmed black man. (That’s still one of the most eerily prescient episodes of TGW. The cop in that episode was named Zimmerman… and the episode filmed right before Trayvon Martin was murdered.)  

Maia and Marissa are still waiting for a reply from the Twitter account. (Wouldn’t a bot reply instantly? HOW DO TWITTER BOTS WORK? I’m almost curious enough to go down a Google rabbit hole!)

FakeMaia tweeted back. She wants a picture. So, Marissa goes into her “photostream,” which she keeps on her work laptop for occasions like this (what are you into, Marissa!?), and selects a picture of some random stock image girl. Maia wants Marissa to get a photo back from the bot. The bot sends one back instantly. Several, actually. They’re artsy images of a naked woman who doesn’t look like Maia but whom Maia says is really her.

So wait. There’s a bot on Twitter that carries on conversations, is up to date with the news, has hobbies, and just sends nude pics of Maia if you ask!? And it was created by some random photographer, on his own, several years ago? Is this supposed to be a play on that racist Microsoft bot from a while back?! Ohmygod I’m gonna stop nitpicking. Or, at least, I’ll try. I’m not sure if I’m more concerned that this could happen or skeptical of the plot.

At least Maia knows who’s behind the account now: she remembers the photographer. (Hey, they did this plotline on Desperate Housewives!)

“This feels like old times,” Kresteva remarks as he steps into Diane’s office. Again, not sure they ever met on screen. “And what line are you selling today, Mike?” Diane asks. “Why is everybody so suspicious of me?” Kresteva wonders. Hmmm. Why indeed.

He informs Diane of his new position. She refuses to give advice or say much. Kresteva says he’s changed. Sure. “How is your son doing, Mike?” Diane tries to change the subject. Turns out Kresteva’s son (named Jax; I remember this because I’ve been thinking about characters named Jax because of the Rindells) passed away. Kresteva almost seems like a human being telling his story.

The second he leaves her office, Diane Chumhums (HIIIIiiI CHUMMIE I LOVE YOU YOU SILLY LITTLE GOPHER) to determine whether or not Kresteva’s son really died. She hates that she has to look it up, but she does. Turns out Kresteva was telling the truth about that, sadly.

Diane goes to the fertility clinic to follow up on something COTW related. The doctor mistakes her for a patient. Diane laughs that off—“I’m not here for myself.”

Case stuff happens.

There’s a joke that goes on for way too long involving a doctor who’s hard of hearing. It’s supposed to be funny. It is not funny.

Sleazy Twitter Bot Bro is now a photographer who specializes in portraits of children. Gross.

Maia is, in theory, on the case of the week, but aside from the one scene where Lucca asks her to do a bit of research, her main work task seems to be investigating her personal life and using firm resources (computers, support staff) to do so. Either that, or she has a really generous lunch hour.

Marissa is comfortable being very assertive around Bro. When she speaks up on Maia’s behalf, Bro wonders if she’s Maia’s new girlfriend. Sounds like someone’s precious masculinity was wounded when Maia came out. Boo hoo. Marissa explains she’s not, “but that doesn’t matter.”

They broke up four years ago. I wonder if Maia’s bisexual or if she realized after (or during) the relationship she was gay?

The twitter bot was set up two years ago, which means Bro was bitter and resentful for two years. (Also means that Amy and Maia, if we believe the writers requested a photo of Amy and Maia for the icon, have been together at least 2 years.)

“What’s a Twitterbot?” Maia asks. … exactly what it sounds like, Maia. What weird sort of bubble does Maia live in!? (Alternatively: writers, it’s never a good look to make your characters more ignorant than they realistically should be for the sake of exposition.)

The bot will duplicate itself if he turns it off. Wha?

When Bro tells Maia to “tell your girlfriend to fix it,” she slaps him. Yay, Maia! (If this happened in the first episode of the show, I’d be worried about the series finale. I think we’re safe because it’s episode four.)

Maia and Marissa return from their non-work related adventure at the same time Diane and Lucca get back from working on the case. The subpoena guy (I’m sure there’s a technical name for this—process server?) who’s a crew member or something is in the RBK lobby, subpoenaing everyone who worked on the police brutality case in F1x01. (At least, I assume that’s why he’s serving them, since he doesn’t subpoena Barbara or anyone else.)

There’s something missing from the Maia subplot—and, really, from the way Maia’s been written so far in these first four episodes (well, mostly just these last two, so there’s hope!). Whenever the show could explore how Maia’s feeling or what she’s thinking or how she’s doing at work, it instead goes for a plot-driven conspiracy. Twists and turns are fun, but Maia’s a new character. These plots don’t give me much of a sense of who Maia is or how she’s coping with the aftermath of the scandal. Consider, for a minute, what the show would look like if Maia’s parents were obviously guilty. Instead of having to wait for the reveal of what really happened (which I don’t care about at all), we’d be dealing with Maia realizing the betrayal that definitely occurred. We’d be seeing her lose her innocence and rebuild instead of watching her investigate various family members we as the audience have no reason to trust. Maia would be the focus, not the facts of the scandal. Same goes for the harassment. Why can’t it just be some random person on Twitter who made an account, and Maia has to learn to steel herself against it? Why does it have to be an elaborate Twitter bot that also makes Fake News?

I keep coming back to the way TGW season 1 worked for Alicia. First, and I didn’t realize how smart this was until TGF began, Peter committed two crimes: one against the law and one against his family. Alicia even makes that distinction in the pilot. She doesn’t care as much about the crimes he allegedly committed, and she (and we) don’t know if he really did it. What she does know, and what we do know, is that he cheated on her with prostitutes. Since there are two scandals there, Alicia can lose her trust in Peter because of one (the cheating) while the writers are free to play around with the mystery/conspiracy of the other. But we don’t have that with the Rindells. Their scandal is all doubt.

While I’m on this kick of comparing the writing for Alicia to the writing for Maia, I’d also like to mention W109, Threesome. That episode has a plot that’s similar to Maia’s in this episode. Alicia is the last to know about Peter’s call girl’s appearance on Chelsea Handler’s show. Zach and Grace know about it. Peter’s legal team and publicity team know about it. Everyone in the office knows. It’s not until Alicia’s assistant pulls up the video that she finds out. We see Alicia react to the interview; how much it pains her to be called “frigid.” Alicia’s called to meet with Will and Diane before she can even finish watching the clip, and we get a great little sequence of Alicia walking through the firm, her confidence waning as she notices everyone’s eyes on her. Her whole demeanor changes completely from what we saw as she walked in to work. Will and Diane are talking about damage control when she arrives, and we can tell from the way Alicia’s moving she expects that they’re going to talk to her about the video. (I’m rewatching this now, and holy shit, guys, she even does the thing with her hands to calm herself down. You know, that thing she does in the last minutes of the series finale. SHE DOES IT HERE TOO.) She only relaxes, slightly, when she realizes they’re talking about Stern’s scandal, not hers. And the whole episode plays out with Alicia trying to figure out what’s going on with Peter, how to make Amber stop, and how to talk to her children about their father’s sex life. And, oh yeah, she’s on a case the whole time, too. I could talk for hours about Alicia’s arc in W109, and how the episode deepens the audience’s understanding of Alicia by forcing her to shift between so many environments, and how the central problem of Amber Madison’s eagerness to spread lies is resolved as an issue between Alicia and Peter, not as a convoluted plot. But I won’t, because I think the example of that first scene (which you really should rewatch!) illustrates my point: the writing for Maia lacks this nuance. The writing for Maia is mostly about plot. The writing for Alicia used plot to develop the character.

Lucca waits for Colin in the bar near the courthouse. She’s already ordered a burger and cut it in half for him. What’s their ship thing going to be? Burger and Fries? Onions and Peppers? (Note: this is not a serious question.)

Colin thinks Lucca’s there to flirt, but she’s there for work. But they don’t get to work before Colin invites her on a date to get milkshakes. Something about his therapist. This is cute, but not really anything I need to get into in-depth.

Lucca asks Colin about the subpoena; he says he’ll look into it.

Marissa made a breakthrough in the Twitterbot fiasco. She contacted Twitter and they froze it right away, which is definitely how Twitter deals with harassment. (I actually don’t know if this is realistic, but I’ve seen so much about how ineffective Twitter is at suspending trolls that this seems too fast, even though it also seems totally logical.) (But won’t the bot remake itself?)

Maia and Marissa high five, adorably.

Case stuff happens. This case is interesting.

Alma Hoff is back! So is just Stanek, who is still collecting electronics in a trash can.

Yesha gets a news alert from Chumhum about Maia being fired. She phones Maia to ask if it’s true. The news source is obviously fake, but I can’t tell if it’s Fake News or Real News For These Characters But Fake Because Copyright Laws.

Maia asks Adrian if she’s being fired. “I barely even know who you are,” Adrian replies, shooing her away. Heh. Wouldn’t Maia know it’s a lie from the fact that she didn’t call her workplace anti-gay?

Now there’s a story about Maia buying $350,000 in jewelry. Ah, it’s one of those sites. The ones that generate ridiculous stories about famous people that have no connection to the truth at all.

Now a Grand Jury is in session, and I think this insert of “GRAND JURY IN SESSION” is lifted from a TGW ep, probably 314 or something from season 7.

Diane is on the stand; Kresteva is questioning her. He starts off by framing her answers as uncooperative, and then begins to flat out lie. “What could be wrong with my motives?” he asks. LOL. I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING. (Even if it weren’t Kresteva specifically… there are still a lot of good reasons to be suspicious!)

“I think you tend to lie,” Diane responds. Kresteva goes after her about the money the firm makes off of the police brutality cases. It’s 30% of the firm’s annual income. Well that’s a cynical suggestion.

Kresteva asks Diane if she said that the problem was that “the people of Cook County hated African-Americans.” Wait, I thought she refused to answer in his version of events? Also, what does he mean by the People of Cook County? Does he mean in the legal sense (The People vs. ___) or does he mean that Diane said that Cook County residents are racists? What narrative is he trying to spin—that Diane was uncooperative, that Diane wants police brutality to continue so she can profit, or that Diane made sweeping accusations of racism? All of the above? Does it matter? Is the point to scare the firm away from these cases or to actually accomplish something with the Grand Jury? (I think it’s the former.)

Anyway, the real point of this scene is that KRESTEVA IS A LYING LIAR.

“Are you saying that my notes from our meeting are incorrect?” Kresteva asks. THIS GUY IS SO FULL OF BULLSHIT, I NEED TO WATCH THE GIF OF ALICIA TELLING HIM TO DIE CHOCKING ON HIS OWN BLOOD, PLEASE A FEW TIMES NOW. Kresteva is so full of shit that his lies don’t even make sense! His whole shtick rests on the hope that the grand jury finds him trustworthy! If they don’t, then why shouldn’t Diane suspect him? What should it matter that his “notes” don’t match what Diane’s saying? They’re his notes. He could’ve written them whenever he felt like it; he could’ve written down whatever he wanted! It’s not a video. It’s not an audio recording. It’s not a print-out of an email. The people who say “believe me” (or variations of that) the most are the ones to watch out for.

Kresteva’s lies, which seemed outrageous back in 2012, play differently in 2017, don’t they?

This scene is very hard to watch because of the emotional toll it takes on Diane as she realizes nothing she says or does will help her out of this hole. Kresteva will just make up more lies, and when he does let the truth through, he’ll spin it to make Diane look bad. Diane’s mistake about Jax seems malicious when he questions her. Her denial of the conversation reads as guilt. How could Kresteva have made up all of that information, the jury must wonder. Isn’t it more to this lady’s advantage to lie than it is to the head of the task force?

Diane says Kresteva was in her office for six minutes. I don’t get why she says this, since we saw the full meeting and it wasn’t six minutes, so…

Diane’s furious when she gets back to work. “He’s setting us up,” she announces to the others. Adrian understands why: Kresteva wants to reduce the number of police brutality cases by having fewer cases filed. I presume this means not just shutting down RBK’s cases, but also making other firms fear taking them on.

Lucca goes to Colin to investigate further. “Yeah, he lies,” Colin acknowledges. “Does your boss know that?” Lucca wonders. Good question. Colin agrees to help out, which is very nice of him. (So far, Colin feels a lot like a flirtier Finn Polmar to me.) Lucca says he seems like a good guy and reminds him they have a milkshake date. They can’t have sex yet because it would seem like a quid pro quo. “Fuck, I hate being a good guy,” Colin jokes as Lucca leaves.

Case stuff happens. I like Judge Stanek.

Colin does bring Kresteva’s methods up with the boss. The boss hears Kresteva’s strategy for how to reduce the amount of cases and doesn’t care about (agree with?) the ethics of it. Colin tries a different angle: the firm is all African-American; won’t that look bad? Kresteva argues it’s not all black because of Diane. LOL DIANE IS ONE PERSON. (And even if you include Maia and Marissa, that’s still a small fraction of the total employees.)

Colin must have pretty high standing/be pretty good at his job if he can bring this up at work. Kresteva gets a small warning, but he’s allowed to continue.

“It’s fake news,” Jay tells Maia. The original twitter monster has morphed into a lot of fake news all across the internet.

Yesha tries to stop it by getting a TRO against Bro, but he says it won’t work because his servers aren’t in Cook County. Yesha tells Maia there’s nothing more they can do. “Not legally,” Yesha repeats. Then she leaves, as Maia, Marissa, and Jay all think of illegal ways to stop Fake News.

Marissa has an idea—create fake news about Bro. Wouldn’t it be easier to just phone his boss? WHY ARE YOU GUYS USING YOUR WORK COMPUTERS TO CREATE FAKE NEWS WITH EXPLICIT CONTENT? WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS WORKING?! (Yes, this has gotten under my skin, why do you ask?)

Bro’s boss buys the fake news. Would that really happen? I can see him being fired because it looks bad, but being fired because your boss believed ILoveFakeNewsDotCom or whatever seems strange.

Case stuff happens.

Bro shows up at Maia’s office to announce, “You’re ruining my life.” HYPOCRITE. (Though, I do have a question: if the fake news is no longer spreading because of him, what is this accomplishing other than revenge?)

He calls her a bitch. Hell. No.

Luckily, Adrian intervenes and Bro calms down. “You drop your news articles and I’ll drop mine?” Bro says. So they are his news articles? What happens when someone else gets the same idea?

“At this firm, we stand up for each other, Maia,” Adrian tells Maia after she thanks him. Awwww. (So does that mean he’s cool with her doing all of this on the clock, using work computers, and pulling Marissa and Jay into it, too?)

YES!!! A break from the Diane/Barbara tension!!!!! This week, they’re drinking together after a rough day in court. Diane’s sad. Barbara, too.

“Do you regret not having children?” Barbara asks Diane. I can’t believe we got through seven seasons of TGW without Diane ever answering this question. That’s cool!

“Sometimes,” Diane responds honestly. “Not often.”

“When are the sometimes?” Barbara wonders. This feels a lot to me like Barbara trying to decide if she should try to have kids before it’s too late.

“With my husband. I mean, it’s too late for us now, but, uh, but I look at him and I wonder what, you know, what his son would be like. Or my daughter,” Diane explains, breaking my heart. (She and Kurt are totally going to reconcile, right?!)

“Yeah. It’s interesting,” Diane continues, unprompted. “Most people think I didn’t want kids, and that’s why I made my work my life. What they don’t realize, it’s… it’s really just the opposite.” I definitely assumed that Diane prioritized work over having kids. I’m not entirely sure what Diane means by “the opposite” but I think she’s saying that kids didn’t seem to be happening for her, so she had time to throw herself into work, and then it was too late. I wonder if Diane would’ve considered IVF if it had been more common when she was in her 30s/40s.

Diane and Barbara talk a little bit more, then Diane finishes her drink and goes back to her office. She phones Kurt. He doesn’t pick up (or does she hang up too quickly? I think it’s the former but compressed for time). I CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK.

Then Diane has an epiphany: ENGLAND.

“We dialed 44 and then the number,” Barbara retorts when Alma asks how they called an agency in England. LULZ.

Case stuff happens; Laura wins! (Also, who knew Alma Hoff had a pottymouth?)

I barely talked about it, but this was a very complex and compelling case.

The Fake News hasn’t stopped. Shocker. Yesha has figured out that now Reddit is making fake news because people on the Internet also hate Maia.

Now Yesha and Marissa both advise Maia to drop it. So she does. But… Fake News has Real Consequences.

Someone brings the Fake News about Maia, which is now in the Cook County Vindicator which I thought was supposed to be a legit paper with actual reporters but whatever, to Kresteva’s attention. He’s looking for any ways to go after RBK, and this news article—real or fake—plays right into his story.

His white board of RBK targets consists exclusively of people we know (and excludes Reddick—who is Reddick, anyway? Is he still there?), including Amy. “Hired for SA ties?” reads a post-it next to Maia’s picture.

So… that’s what’s coming next. All the conspiracies come together! That means it’s time for ELSBETH TASCIONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Seriously, Elsbeth is the one good thing about the unnecessary conspiracy plots The Good Shows like to do.)

[swearronchanel]

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm  

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time"  ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient  💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me  😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting  

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.