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scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde · 11 months

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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something #asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao #so then he hates hospitals with a passion #my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so #headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao #im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao #it just made draco that little bit more protective #lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands #this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child #he has sick child energy lmfao #he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently #just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally #breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days #let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast #but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system #got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling #scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha #timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE #(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy #albus potter #draco malfoy #hpcc #scorbus #this is so many tags im so sorry

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micechicken · 19 days

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I love how my unintentional excuse as to why Alestair and Idan never have to go to work is because they ran away and basically quit without notice.

#this has always been a part of the story though as the first ever thing I wrote with Alestair involved what happened #but Idan stops working there because of that #Mara's job pays a LOT and is hire based so she can do whatever #Vilissa is like the only character that has to regularly work LMAO #but also Vi wouldn't let Alestair get a job when they were dating #as for Fae she's a sex worker so she does it whenever #Fritz and Jer are employed but they don't even get heavily involved in helping until Love and that is explained away (thanks Vi)#as for other stoires #the children in Sunshine are too young to work #the parents do work and leave regularly but aren't really heavily involved #and the adults just take care of themselves with the stuff they have or work if they want (like Norie)#there is no currently running school in the castle (but there used to be)#Barle is a con artist so he would sell junk he fixed up but after getting kidnapped by Shika he doesn't really worry about that anymore #Shika and Fria have disposable income as they are just looking for Barle (Shika the princess and Fria a royal bodyguard)#and Charlie is a bounty hunter so he has freelance (and later a courier)#Flick and Millie are child and Nick is jobless and he's a bird currently so he just needs to eat a little #Ebers is a fortune teller so she does that whenever #also since Millie doesn't care about school she skips out after Flick shows up #And Flick is basically kidnapped so she doesn't got to school as she can't even go there #Seth is homeless and gets things out of making deals with others which he sometimes sell expensive items to get money #Lia and Giles leave behind their lives to adventure but were previously self employed (small businesses)#Myrtle is a Princess so she has that responsibility and disposable income #Sylas is a hunter but there isn't really any work to be done if most of the kingdom is under a sleeping spell #Nym uses the stuff that Elysa left behind in death but he was a Farmer back home not that he can get back home #Pokey runs the train station and the venue but he also isn't getting a lot of business from the inner kingdom #that's just the main stories lolll #every story has some kinda excuse about not working while the story happens

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kneworder · 4 months

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as a tumblr user it is embarrassing how viscerally I hate cannibalism as a trope or symbol or narrative device or like anything. sorry guys ethel cain’s strangers makes me cry because the concept is too disturbing for me and I had to take a like two day break from my preacher’s daughter listen through when I got to ptolomaea because I’d finally read the summary of what the album was about and it was keeping me up at night and making me feel sick. tumblr symbolism wimp i promise any other horror trope besides body horror is literally fine for me but I absolutely cannot handle that one it makes me SO uncomfortable and I hate everything about it there is nothing erotic or deep about it to me tragically I cannot see what y’all see 😔

#it’s so sad bc I really like preachers daughter but half the album feels like it’s waging psychological warefare with me #it’s ridiculous but it’s honestly because I had a dream that a guy ate my brother in our backyard when I was like 9 #and the thought scared me so bad I couldn’t sleep for months #SO stupid. my parents still joke about the man eating man sometimes lol I was scared to go in our backyard at dusk until I was like 12 #yellowjackets I tough out because I like the concept and characters but if I’m so honest idk if I can go back to it after the s2 finale #snackie was one thing but that was simply Too Much For Me!!!!!#anyways.#like I will NEVER watch the terror or society of the snow or hannibal i literally can’t do it

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electricpurrs · 1 month

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fuckkkkkk i sant to soend time with people so much. i want to feel like i exist in the world snd like i matter to someone. i want to play videogames in voice call. fuck my lifeeeeeeeee

#🧃#im feeling lame in all kinds of ways really #i was sleepy as hell earlier but then i napped and it sucked #so now idk if i should go back to sleep or what #idk why sleeping is never pleasant to me ive been having like horrifying disturbing nightmares literally every night #snd i have no idea what that is about #and one of my wisdom teeth is growing. again. and it hurts so fucking bad and its swollen and it hurts to eat #but i havent told my parents about it yet because i both am terrified of tooth surgery and i have no idea if we Can afford a tooth surgery #and it'll be so much headache i just dont want to deal with it rn. not like i have much choice #im just. idk. everything is so lame in my life im trying to figure out anything to hold onto

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ierogenvy · 2 months

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have spent the day wildly hungover. :(. never drinking again :)

#dont mind me #only wine from now on bc it actually tastes good #went to bed last night at like 3am. woke up around 9 and tried to eat a little breakfast. frew up. went back to sleep until 1:30pm #had raising canes for breakfast pt 2. read two chapters of qotd. had a salad for dinner around 7:30 and now i’m going to bed to be at work #at 530 tmw #first time i’ve ever been so drunk i had to call my parents + sister for a ride #[redwcted] that works at [establishment i was at] was so nice and took care of me and encouraged me to call someone #and what’s crazy is i browned out at wwwyf last year and didn’t feel anywhere near this bad the next day

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pepprs · 11 months

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im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol

#i know i know. and i need to let the anguish motivate me to get out of here. but it feels like i dreamed it all #purrs #chicago #i had a rough time getting out of the hotel and through the airport to my gate and also im bad at math so i fucked up the calculation about #when my flight lands bc of the time zone change and i gave my parents the time in central time not eastern time so my dad was waiting for m #for like a half hour and texting me and i wasn’t answering bc i was still in the air and he was pissed at me and snarky in my texts with hi #and i was sitting there on the plane and could just feel his words ripping into me and the horrors rushing back in and i still haven’t #recovered from it honestly. it wasn’t that big of a deal he just said something that i misunderstood as him saying he was giving up waiting #for me and going home bc id already wasted his time and even though that was not what he actually said it just kinda burrowed into me that #my parents were mad at me and were probably also mad at me for not communicating with them AT ALL the entire time i was in chicago. and it #just was eating me alive. im home now and we haven’t talked about it but they did say things disapproving of the fact that i did a lot of #stuff by myself which i probably shouldn’t have told them. idk. it’s not even that bad i just am torn apart by their rejection of me and #utter inability to just like be happy for me without criticizing some part of it or restraining me. plus the house is just as much of a #biohazard as it was when i left and all the broken things are still broken and it’s like. a lot. i miss the hotel LOL #i think im just sleep deprived and not in my head right today but i do not want to be here. sinking in quicksand unable to breathe. but i #have to be the one to get me out of it and i should have learned how in chicago but i didn’t it was just a break and now im stuck again #delete later #kind of terrible that instead of being so proud and happy about what i did my immediate reaction is to be miserable that im home now lol

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loverboybrightsideghost · 3 months

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dw about it

i've gotten to a point where i can't really tell if i'm okay or not. maybe there is no Default state of being, but it's gotten to the point where i can't tell if i'm Actually Okay and the clouds and fuckery of my brain is telling me that i'm not or if I'm Not Okay and i'm just pretending that i am.

#or maybe it's both #one thing is for sure i haven't seen my friends or been able to talk freely for a period of more than four hours for the past #two months.#bluebird.txt #or maybe i just need to fucking sleep #i need to learn how to fucking drive #like fuck this shit at this point #and get a regular job #i won't be able to live alone for Multiple Years but fucking god #getting into the drivers seat immediately makes me cry #but i'll get over it because being trapped in this house and zero transportation all independence #and horrible terrible at asking for things because everything scares me and quite frankly #i do not feel comfortable around my parents far too often even if it's not really their fault #it kinda is but they don't know so i can't blame them bc it's not intentional #i just. i need to be able to leave. even if i come back i need to not be here i need to live with people who i can actually be myself aroun #i am an introvert but i am also a social creature and need those people who i can scream incoherently at #i need. to be a real person. i need to be real me. i need to be free to see those people more regularly than thrice a fucking year.#okay. done now. gonna go eat. fuck.#i don't know. maybe it's the 11pm but this is not sustainable i think #or maybe it's the 11 pm

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draco-renn · 4 months

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Man. All I do these days is fail to meet expectations and then get upset at myself for failing to meet those expectations. This sucks.

#the dragon sings his songs #blowing out smoke #i'm supposed to be taking this break from my course as an opportunity to do the things I've been meaning to do and I've just been rotting—#—in bed on my phone and sleeping in and jacking off like i hardly even get up to eat or go to the bathroom #side note i know this is a textbook sign of depression and burnout (comma) most likely both (comma) but who in my Chinese family is going—#—to believe that? def not mom who'll just scream at me for not sucking it up and pushing through it and not dad who won't do shit #my grandparents might believe me but there's a language barrier on mom's side plus 公公 seems to think I'm the perfect infallible capable—#—[granddaughter] and I can't bear to break his heart with the truth #and then on dad's side they'll probably be sympathetic but everything i tell them makes its way back to my parents and that'll just result—#—in ont huge blowup that'll drive another wedge between mom and dad. and I mean PLEASE hurry up and get divorced but I also don't want 爺爺—#—and 嫲嫲 to get caught in the crossfire #plus I'm supposed to be helping them esp now that 爺爺 is running out of time as an active able-bodied person but instead of doing that I—#—spent all day in bed. which is not helping my guilt and shame on top of everything else i have to deal with (comma) let alone his workload #today's such a nice sunny beautiful day too which makes me feel even worse for not even going for a walk or anything #it's still light out so i could but sunk cost fallacy is kicking my ass plus i have Mandarin class kn a couple hours #and k know it's a couple HOURS but I'd have to get dressed and set a timer and everything and just the thought is so overwhelming that I—#—just can't. i'd ask to be institutionalized if it wasn't for the rampant ableism in the mental health field plus the fact that—#—institutionalization is just an extension of incarceration #if only the people who have power over me would just listen and actually take care of me so i wouldn't have pushed myself to this point

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diviinedogs · 4 months

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I flipped a coin to see if I should do art or finally play some more Rebirth, and video games won…

#I’ll get to art tonight thoooo #I didnt do anything yesterday cuz I. only got 35 minutes of sleep #before my parents made me go with them to walk #at a forest preserve for over an hour #I was so tired 😭😭😭#when I came home I just took a shower and theN SLEPT #I only got 35 minutes btw cuz I had 3 hours of sleep but #got up to eat since I couldn’t fall back asleep #and by the time I was back in bed my parents came home #and they’re really adamant about us all doing these walks now….#so I couldn’t get out of it……..#lux.txt

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crimeronan · 2 years

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after doing my usual lap swimming tonight i dove off the diving board a couple times and god there really is nothing like the deep end of a pool. the local pool is 12 feet deep which is deeper than anywhere that i've swum before (that's a non open body of water) and just. sitting at the bottom in the silence and the stillness with the weight of the water pressing down on you and looking up and seeing the lights and the surface so so so far away bc you are down in your little alien world and everything is calm and quiet and empty and still. i have been chasing this for nearly 27 years. when i was a kid i asked to buy a scuba tank so i could lay on the floor of a pool for an hour.

#my parents were not amenable to this desire which was fair. but i still want it now #thinking about that underwater mall in dubai that you can dive into and explore. god #i didn't stay at the bottom of the pool for as long as i wanted tonight because i don't wanna make the lifeguards' jobs harder #(in monitoring me not in like. drowning. i know how not to drown myself.)#my most ideal world remains one where i have a scuba tank that somehow has enough o2 for a week and i just sleep eat and move underwater #swim tag #there was one young girl also using the diving board who stayed in the 12 foot end treading water even tho #there's a 6 foot section perfectly accessible. presumably because the deeper and more open the water the better #i feel you girl. i used to swim across lakes unsupervised. and also swim beside my aunt's kayak when we'd go out in the ocean #i've gone much MUCH deeper than 12 feet under in lakes in the past. it was a game of #carefully measuring my breath to see how far i could get before i couldn't get back up without drowning

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applecherry108 · 2 years

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[to the tune of the Lego Movie’s “Everything is Awesome”]

Everything is stressful! 🙃

Every-thing causes anxiety! 🙃

Everything is stressful!! 🙃🙃

When you have ADHD! 🙃🙃🙃

#I can’t take this fucking roller coaster of a housing crisis much longer I’m going to fucking SCREAM #I don’t think I’m being unreasonable by setting a boundary after all the concessions I’ve made but now she wants to push to move in date #back?? HOW DO I KNOW UR EVEN GOING TO MOVE IN AT ALL #LITTLE MISS MONTH-TO-MONTH 😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀#apple talks #to the tune of spam #alright tw time! here comes the suicidal thoughts!#so my last housemate moved out a few months ago and my parents have been helping me with rent since then #but it’s fucking expensive in California #and I’m struggling to a) find a new roommate b) find a new apartment or c) find a better paying job #the stress has literally been killing me I can’t fucking sleep I eat even less and I’m up with 4 am panic attacks!#and my parents don’t have infinite money! so on Xmas they threatened to pay a buttload of money to force me back to Ohio bc somehow THAT #expense is less than helping me with rent a little while longer #I would rather fucking kill myself than move back to Ohio I am dead fucking serious #bc it’s not ‘move in with my parents again’ it’s my parents paying a whole ass apartment of my own until I find an Ohio job (in THIS economy #??) it’s them paying to fly me my CATS and my stuff out there but not any of my furniture.#it’s being down the road from my father again which I cannot and WILL not do.#I fucking moved to Cali to get away from him. and if my mom would just divorce his ass I’d be no contact in a heartbeat #I cannot be financially dependent on him AND live within driving distance of him #and I absolutely do not want to put my cats through the stress of a plane ride! they can barely keep it together being locked in my room #while I’m at work for 1 day! not to mention I’d be dependent on my parents to drive me everywhere bc there’s not public transportation there #and I’ve been packing in case I have to move apartments or god forbid to ohio and it’s a blurry fucking line bw packing to move #and giving away all my shit in preparation to kill myself #and I FINALLY found a new very temporary roommate and I’ve made a fuck load of concessions for her to move in and I have to draw the fucking #line somewhere and this of all things has her wanting to push back move until February which makes me nervous bc what if she backs out? what #if I’m fucked? girlies if I stopped posting for days on end I am literally dead. pray for my cats to go to a good home bc I can’t fucking do #it anymore

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rapha-reads · 1 year

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My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

#rapha talks #so this rant is on one hand to let you know why i'm not very active right now and on the other hand just to rant bc i needed to get it out #on telling her that there is a real imbalance a giant red flag in her rship with the guy she tries to tell me i'm being patriarchal #Is she fucking kidding me #did she get a lobotomy in secret and that's why she's dropped her brain off and is acting in that unrecognizable way????#because we (siblings+father) are truly starting to believe that she's actually sick for acting like that #she tried to explain that she's free and she can do whatever she wants because it's her life and she can't resist her desires #????????????#I AM CONFUSION #i know you guys don't have all the details in hand but please please tell me we're not blowing things out of proportion #because i'm seriously starting to doubt my sanity my morals and my grasp on reality #i'm having a bad depressive episode right now and the one person who was 50% of my support system is gone #(as an added layer of unhealthiness: the guy in question is 23 + a blackafrican immigrant in morocco undocumented - she's white and settled #yeah there ABSOLUTELY NO aspect of this whole thing that's either sane or moral or acceptable #and i am going crazy and my father is in very bad shape he's not sleeping or eating anymore #and she refuses to question herself or think over her actions #oh and the other thing is that they both (parents) want me to come home to get a job back where i worked last year #her because she wants the money i could bring (my salary last year wasn't mine it all went to the family)#him so i can take a flat and take my youngest sister with me because i'm the second mother and she can't stay with Her and her lover #and i am so tired #so very tired

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omarfor-orchestra · 1 year

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I'm so mad I can't sleep

#i want it to be friday already #so i can watch my silly little raiplay show in the morning and my silly little rai1 gabba show in the night #instead of thinking about how these people are supposedly parenting and what the hell do i have to do with it #just remembered i asked my sister to go to naples together when i was planning it and she went 'and what leave the child to my husband?'#'i already asked him to keep the child when we go to the concert' oh what a big sacrifice! three hours with HIS kid!! oh!!!!!!#fucking hell #my mother asked me to let the child sleep with me hell no #you people decided to keep him here when my sister worked night shift for whatever reason #now you deal with it #i fucking wish he would go back to therapy because i think his therapist would tell him to wake the fuck up #but he doesn't! because he's healed! then he can keep the kid for one night even if the day after he has to work. hope this helps.#and they don't understand that all of this disfuncional situation will fall on the kid who's already experiencing consequences #but keep on saying uwu but he works aaalll dayy!!!! as if my sister or my mother didn't #honestly can't take this anymore #and since I don't know how to deal with these feelings I'll simply stop eating bc apparently that's all my body knows to do #not even doing it on purpose #rant

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confused-and-dickless · 1 year

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HUNGRY. I WANT FOOD. WHAT DO I WANT. I M TIRED. I NEED TO BE HELD.

#I HATE BEING ON PREDNISONE I HATE BEING AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND FOR SO LONG I HATE SLEEPING ALONE #I LOVE MUSIC BUT I DONT WANT TO FEEL STROBGLY RIGHT NOW BUT I DONT WANT THE SILENCE BUT I DONT WANT EMPTY NOISE BUT I CANT CRY #I AM BOTH EUPHORIC FROM HOW MUCH J LOVE MY BF AND EXTREMELY UPSET THAT IM SEPARATED FROM HIM WHILE MY PARENTS ARE TOGETHER BUT STRUGGLING #AND I KNOW HOW TO HELP THEM. THEY JUST NEED TO BE FORCED BACK ONTO THE SAME PAGE. I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HELP. BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO #I WANT TO HELP. BUT I AM SCARED I'LL MAKE IT IRREVOCABLY WORSE SOMEHOW.#AND I WANT MAC N CHEESE GODDAMNIT #WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND I NEED TO BE HELD.#ALSO I REALLY WABT TO EMBROIDER RIGHT NOW BUT IM SCARED THAT IF MY HANDS ARE SHAKY RIGHT NOW I MIGHT ACTUALLY IMPLODE #maybe ill watch one of my shows and try to embroider something simple bc this ween patch is kicking my ass #(im making it way more complicated than it needs to be bc of how simple the original design is)#((i should have made this a painted project. or made it smaller. but ill learn something from it!!))#idk im gonna go look for a snack and see if i feel better after i eat something #i probably won't bc this dumbass medicine makes it impossible for me to feel full #itll get my weight up which is always good for me but i just hate food. i dont mind that i gain visible weight i just hate eating

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pandora15 · 2 years

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i think it's really rude of the excedrin i took a few hours ago to not work

#i am. not having a good time right now #i'm always either in pain or too tired or feeling moody or lonely and i just. ugh.#i think i need to make some changes to my life soon and i'm trying to take the steps to do so but everything is so /hard/#and i'm trying to introduce a healthier lifestyle into my schedule but i'm already slammed with work and school #and trying to add ''going to the gym which would take 2 hours out of my day since it's kinda far away'' or ''cutting down on snacks''#or ''planning out meals in advance so i could eat healthier'' stresses me out so much #which makes me more upset about the state of my physical health. which in turn makes things Not Good about my mental health #and then i'm in pain because brain hurt and i don't want to be alone but i also don't want to go back to my parents' house #because then i eventually feel all stifled and angry and want to get away as far as possible #even though i love them #okay it's late so i'm gonna try to sleep #my head hurts but i'm gonna try anyways #maybe drink some water first #pandora's ramblings

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squish--squash · 2 years

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currently my mental health is precariously held together by cheap scotch tape and a prayer but I think I have some duct tape and superglue lying around somewhere. I just have to find it.

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