#|| poor Milli - all these people and their thoughts about her existence

[abandcned]

She doesn't know what the old man has in store for her. Perhaps my clawd ought to be turned to her, before she blooms as our mother did so long ago... no. Not yet. Not with Gowry so close by... (for Millicent)

ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS || Highly accepting!

There were kin who saw her as successor. Many, Gowry included, she had forgotten. A fate she despised. Still, each day, Millicent felt it writhe within her. The rot, reminding of its grip over her body. Days worse, it felt pushing through, urging to be let it out. When she was beaten or hurt, somehow, she still managed to resist. This strong need to fight back and never give up to its influence, to never bloom. That desire might have not been her own, but now, it was. No, she will never the rot to take over and bloom. As long as she had hope. Even if her life was in danger... nothing more she desired, than to go with dignity. She needed to share this desire, with Malenia, to fight back before it is too late.

[dotthings]

Some thoughts on John in TW 1.06. I am going to make Star Wars references. It cannot be helped.

Lata and Matt are both John mirrors in this ep, and represent the two paths John could go down.

John is currently getting frequently lost in the violence. Lata already broke clear of her downspiral, and represents hope of how people can escape it (at least at times, although as I said in my post about Lata, I’m a little worried about her, if she picks up a machete and kills monsters).

John, your John is showing again, like, a lot.

It’s not just the violence, it’s the tunnel vision, the obsessiveness, the refusal to compromise, the wanting it done his way. You can see glimpses here of the future in how he’ll treat his sons while he escapes into hunting as a way to deal with his grief for Mary. While he will sacrifice everything including his children’s well being for hunting. Was it really about grief for Mary? Or was it the only way John could endure the pain, anger, hurt, that was already inside of him for a long time.

And I think this series has hit a pattern on it. With the signs of how he will break later showing amid John’s better nature, John’s empathy, John’s bravery and kindness, but we know he doesn’t escape the cycle. We can see how he is capable of listening and is reachable though.

This is also the 2nd time an ep ends up with John seeking out Lata, being mindful of Lata, after the hunt’s over. He also this time asks Lata for help. John and Lata's friendship is very very soft. (Again, this makes me fearful for Lata, John's polar opposite mirror).

Who had John Winchester learning how to meditate on their bingo card, not me.

This isn’t an alt John, or a “better” version of John’s history. This is the real story, the truth, and it’s more complicated than we, the audience knew, or Sam and Dean knew growing up. Dean’s unfolding that full history.

Maybe the groundwork on the reasons John doesn’t get entirely lost are being laid out here as much as its mapping his downspiral. Millie and the monster club, all are part of the love and support John gets. He is capable of pulling out of it, or we wouldn’t have 1973 John or 1978 John on the mothership, and we never would have seen at least the glimpses in modern day John his capacity for love.

He would just be wholly lost and all dark, with good still in him somewhere, but John didn't slide down so far he completely lost himself. We’re seeing on The Winchesters John spiraling downward but also growing--and those two things can co-exist. We know there were problems before Mary died, it was never perfect, but it was Mary dying burning on the ceiling makes him snap hard, the progress got lost, and that was the start of a deeper downspiral.

I’ve made the Anakin comparison about John a bunch of times and The Winchesters is a similar portrait of a good human who downspiraled but John isn’t actually an Anakin figure. Older John’s Anakin who went off the rails with grief and revenge but didn't go full Vader. Think of a broken Anakin raising Luke and Leia while on a revenge obsessed path to take out Palpatine. Not choosing the darkside, but letting in a lot of the darkness inside of himself. And the trauma that still might ensue for Luke and Leia being raised like that. While poor Obi-Wan argues with John, for the good of John's kids, and they finally have a big falling out over it. Wow okay thank you for that Star Wars AU prompt, The Winchesters.

John gets possessed by the ghost of Matt the dark John mirror. A hunter who downspiraled almost fully into darkness. His friends were terrified of him and he grew too powerful. Matt is the Anakin figure here. Matt went sith, messing with dark magic, but still had good in him, he responds to Lata's pleas to set John free and to Tracy's tearful regrets.

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

New headcanon about my main FNaF AU “Foolish Parallels”, now that I’ve gotten the chance to play Security Breach

Millie’s grandpa is the main mechanic of Sammy and Henry’s gang, and is the one who looks after any animatronics that the gang is unable to at the moment because

1). He has to take care of Millie and her little cousins a lot, so he has the most experience with taking care of children (which is how it can feel looking after a lot of the animatronics-), and is the most fit to take care of them for extended periods of time, compared to Henry or Scott even though they were both fathers in life, they’re both just very tired

and 2). He’s an expert in mechanics, evident in his work on CTW Funtime Freddy

The funny thing is that Maurice is usually completely fine with the other animatronics, but the only one he absolutely refuses to look after unless it’s absolutely necessary is Sunny and Moon.

He’s slightly unnerved by Sunny, but that isn’t why he doesn’t like watching him. Sunny has nearly given him a heart attack multiple times by unintentionally sneaking up on him, or making him think that something bad happened when he went out.

Millie and the others also like to mess with him by teaching Sunny cursed gen-z terminology, and the poor old man feels like he’s gonna have a stroke as he begs Sunny to stop using any of the words Millie taught him.

Millie’s grandpa doesn’t like Moon either, because he was not told anything about Moon’s existence when he was first left with him, and was unfortunate enough to meet him during a power outage. Millie thought her grandfather was being murdered from the scream he let out when he saw Moon climbing on the walls.

Moon sometimes likes to watch people when they sleep, which Maurice found out the hard way. He one time woke up during the late hours of the night to Moon towering over him, just standing on the foot of his bed, staring at him.

Cue another unusually high pitched scream, and a tired and irritated Maurice storming downstairs and throwing Moon into Millie’s room telling her “he seems to fit your aesthetic, maybe you know how to deal with him”, before going back to his room and not getting any sleep, leading to a destroyed sleep schedule for a few days.

Even worse for Maurice, Sunny and Moon are two different animatronics in my AU, so this tired old man has not only one but two crackhead animatronics to look after.

The first time Henry picked them up he said that he should have Maurice watch them more often because of how happy Sunny was, and how content Moon seemed. Millie’s grandpa just said “what have I ever done to you?!” before promptly sobbing.

Now whenever Henry needs him to look after an animatronic, their conversations usually go like this:

Henry: Mr. Fitzsimmons? Can I ask you something?

Millie’s grandpa: If you’re gonna ask me to look after those daycare animatronics again, the answer is no

If he does need him to take care of them, Millie’s grandpa either just laughs before simply saying “no”, or just immediately hangs up, all Henry hearing being a click and the dial tone.

[nettlestonenell]

Enola Holmes in Review

Gentle Readers:

1.       I did not plan to watch Enola Holmes

2.       I do not/have not watched Stranger Things, and my entire concept of Millie Bobby Brown as a human is encapsulated in the occasional errant tumblr post, and a line of eyewear she apparently has created, posters for which hang at my glasses-provider.

3.       I had never heard of the YA novels about Enola Holmes

There she is!

Yes, I do tend to enjoy nearly any incarnation of Sherlock Holmes. And, yes, I am often surprised by this fact. For some reason, Holmes, unlike, say, Chris Evans as Cap or Chris Hemsworth as Thor [instances where I can’t really imagine enjoying anyone else in the role] I am always interested to see someone else’s [writer and actor and director]’s take on him. *Subtle shout-out to James D’Arcy’s 2002 turn in A Case of Evil.

Mr. Jarvis! [and there was Vincent D’Onofrio and opium!!]

And yet, watching the Enola Holmes trailer [no doubt b/c of tumblr], and yes, admittedly not unmoved [we are not made of stone] by Cavill’s Curls™ the delight I felt in watching that advert led me to start informing my family that on September 23rd what I was going to be doing was enjoying Enola Holmes on Netflix [and anyone else was free to join me].

Someone important is missing from this picture

And what a delight it was. In the run-up to its debut I read more than a few reviews of the film [and, I think, every one of them written by men], some of which struck me as simply coming from a place of mean-spiritedness, yet none—even the positive reviews—preparing me for how ENJOYABLE this film is.

I’m not going to provide a full review point-by-point here, b/c the film involves cases to be solved (no, none of them are overwhelmingly complex—YA novel--, so all the more reason not to spoil any pay-offs). But I do have some things to talk about.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM – And what a nice, nice elephant it is! Henry Cavill as Holmes is, in my opinion an absolute delight of a performance. From the moment he first says Enola’s name (a perfectly-rendered reaction to the moment playing out) this Holmes fits into this Greatest Showman-like version of Victorian England, where no one’s too dirty no matter how poor, and where despite a flaming red dress, cut too low for daytime wear, young Enola is never once mistaken for a working girl. [Again, YA novel] As other reviewers have noted, HC is, well, Cut and Bulked Out, and in his highly tailored frock coats well, strapping is too light a description word. *not a complaint. Cavill’s Curls are out and proud and here to tell us that we are meant to be Having Fun, and Gentle Readers—THEY DO NOT LIE.

No, not a priest’s collar where he is undercover (though I had thought so)

In fact, you could absolutely write your thesis statement on this film, that it’s really a fraternal, familial love story between Sherlock and Enola. Sherlock is the character during the two hours that actually changes. [Yes, Enola comes to an understanding about herself, and her circumstances change repeatedly—but it is Sherlock who experiences a Change of Heart/Reversal]. 

Raise your hand if you’re totally here for significantly older brother/significantly youngest sister family love!

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT – This might in no way be helpful, but, Enola Holmes is basically The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles...

Where have you gone, Sean Patrick Flanery?

a YA historical storyline that’s written adjacent to [there, famous people] here, enduring fictional characters. It’s adventurous and pleasantly immersive, historical morays are given a slap-dash portrayal, rather than a fully-accurate representation, there’s adventures to be had, and side-characters to be converted into caring about the title character as much as we, the audience, do.

LUCY HONEYCHURCH – Yes, that gorgeous girl from Windy Corner. The timeline doesn’t jibe, but I daresay Helena Bonham Carter (back in a corset—though she may have worn those for Bellatrix) as Eudoria Holmes *IS* what Lucy Honeychurch might well have become beyond A Room with a View’s end. Bonham Carter looks absolutely at home here (period films have sorely missed her! –she had a part in 2015’s Suffragette), and still wears the trappings of Victorian England like a second skin. 

Not to mention that she now join my personal comfort-list of on-screen mothers with the likes of 1997’s Little Women Susan Sarandon and Cinderella’s Hayley Atwell.

FAMILY ISSUES OR PLOT HOLES? 

It’s a fair question. There’s a lot going on in this plot, some of which...seem solvable. Why has it been so very long since the Holmes brothers have seen their own mother? And sister? How could the woman we come to know as Eudoria raise a Mycroft? [see also, Molly Weasley?] Why aren’t people who seem to care about Enola more engaged with saving her from all the dangers London throws in her way? Why does Enola accept several acts of violence aimed at her, why does she in certain instances Do What She Is Told? Rather than chalk these up to plot holes or convenient devices, I’m siding with the Holmes family being dysfunctional [who knows what dad was like? We’re certainly not told here]. 

[clears throat]

The conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock barely skim the surface of any subject they interact on. Classic dysfunction: distancing one’s true self from human interaction b/c keeping the peace supersedes all else.

Enola accepts certain treatments b/c if we really do watch her relationship with her mother, there is an element of something amiss—as I will declare the later abandonment shows. Enola is a child used to being elevated and celebrated on one hand, and shut out and isolated on the other. Her parent has informed her about so much, but essentially locked her away in a false reality, where Enola is not taken to see the world, nor taught how to interact in it (which is explicitly stated). Perhaps it is not so surprising that the Holmes’ brothers have not cared overly much for visiting their remaining family. And when repeatedly confronted with a minor child (and yet a child likely though old enough or about so, to be married off) being forced to endure things diametrically opposed to her will—the brothers’ reactions are stoic, the system they accept as to how life must be lived immoveable and morally right simply by its very existence.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN – THE STAR – In what has to be an Emmy-nomination-deserving turn, MBB is nothing short of wholly in charge of the screen. She never overpowers the story. She’s as loveable as Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and as ready for her closeup as Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games. As another review mentioned, she handles the 4th wall breaks in such as way as we look forward to the next time she’s going to talk to us. We ache with her sorrow for her lost mom, and rage with her at the adults in her life choosing wrongly for her future—or simply not choosing at all.

A random observation, but one that feels important to me: her HAIR. Yes! They’ve managed to make a late Victorian-era film where the heroine’s hair looks like real hair that someone really styled (or in some scenes, didn’t). And yet, where the hair looks proper for the time. [wild applause]

COMPLAINTS: Well, in honesty there aren’t any. If you want to complain that there isn’t any dirt, that the evil of the world (I mean, c’mon, this is narrowly post-Dickensian London, here) is neutered, that the adults in question seem neither alarmed enough or emboldened enough at either their mother or sister being missing and possibly out of their depths in a dangerous society without protection, and in Enola’s case real-world skills--? Well, I’m certainly not going to disagree with you. This is YA Victorian London, after all, not Ripper Street. There is also neither a hint of or actual threat of sexual violence at any point in the film. But the lack of that has preserved us from having to sit through that, as well as no doubt lectures about how Enola’s virtue might be spoilt and she might become useful to no man.

The relationships are appropriate, too. Despite strides between Enola and certain adults in the film, by the time the credits roll they’re not showing physical affection toward each other (a move that would have seemed over-the-top), and teen relationships are shown progressing at a reasonable and mutedly awkward pace.

Now, Netflix, green-light me five more films (or more). There’s still a new version of John Watson to meet, after all!

[voxymoxyboxy]

Drabbles for my Various Sam and Max AUs 01- Ghost Max AU

Hi there! I wanted to actually publish my writing for once, so I decided to write a whole bunch of drabbles of my various Sam and Max AUs! I’m gonna try to make at least one for every AU, so wish me luck! Here’s the first one!

P.S. If you wanna hear more about them, please ask! I wanna talk about them! Don’t be shy!

TW: Mentions of Death and Cursing 

Drabble 01- Ghost Max AU

Max had never really seen himself as a ‘people’ person.

When he was a kid, the only ones who’d ever tolerated his presence were his parents and a handful of his siblings, and even then it sometimes felt like that was stretching it. That had been fine by him. Playing too roughly with others usually sent him to time out while playing by the rules bored him out of his mind. At the end of the day, it just seemed easier to keep to himself.

The lagomorph had even preferred it, regardless of that weird pang in his chest.

In all of his life, Max could honestly say that he had grown fond of his workmates. Would never openly admit it, but the signs had been there. Whenever the rabbit teased Sybil, poked fun at Superball, eventually turned into something akin to affectionate after a year of knowing them. Hell, the lagomorph remembered the days he’d spent trying to get them together, leaving notes and gifts as the other.

There was a small part of him that yearned to go back. If anything, they were the only things worth living for.

Being dead put a damper on all that, of course.

In the beginning it had been great! Being a ghost was amazing! No responsibilities (taxes who?), all the free time in the world to do whatever the lagomorph wanted. Sure, not being able to enjoy the luxuries of food was a bummer but flying was pretty neat! It was only when Max tried leaving when it hit him. Literally.

What appeared to be some kind of force field prevented him from leaving his little ramshackle apartment. That hadn’t bothered him at first. After all, learning what ghostly powers he held could keep the rabbit entertained for hours! Could being the key word. While fun to start, progress was slow then came to a stop completely when it became fruitless. Roaming the same halls grew boring. Floating lost its charm. The yellow of the walls started taunting him almost.

Going to Heaven would’ve been preferable to the pseudo-hell he was trapped in.  

A tiny sliver of hope came when the corpse cleaners came a few days after his death. Hermit that Max was, someone must’ve finally called the police after the smell became too much to bear. They’d burst in, covered head to toe in white before getting right to work. Which was weird, but not unexpected. Someone was making sure that his death was but a blip to be forgotten.

That was okay. The lagomorph planned to have the last laugh.

Opportunity struck. Jumping in one of their paths, the rabbit had snapped at the man, laying out every insult in the book (that he’d written, by the way). Imagine the look on his face when the fucker simply walked through him, face set in stone as if he hadn’t heard a damn word.

Because he hadn’t, Max had realized, horror thrumming in his core.

Nobody could.

They left. A few more people entered. The lagomorph tried everything. Shouting, yelling, kicking their kneecaps, pushing a tumbler off the kitchen counter like in those old horror movies his ma told him not to watch. Nothing. No flinching or yelps of pain left their mouths. Only sounds of exertion and mumbling before they too were gone, leaving the rabbit in silence.

Quiet. It was too quiet. Noise kept Max busy, kept that small ball of darkness from spreading through his brain like poison. Silence, for some, was comforting.

For him it was deafening.  

Forced to see the same things day in and day out, the rabbit soon discovered the pang was back in full force. When exactly had it disappeared? The thought, while elusive during the day, always crept back at night, when Max couldn’t sleep to keep it at bay. It grew, evolved into what-ifs and questions he had no answers for.  

How had Sybil and Superball reacted to his death? They had to know it was murder, right? A little bump to the head was the last way he wanted to go out, right behind getting shot but ahead of choking on a gummy bear. Were they looking for the bastard that did him in? A tiny voice from who-knows-where told the lagomorph that the pair didn’t care enough.

Max tended to agree.

What of his family? Funnily enough, getting offed made the rabbit more appreciative of his family. They certainly weren’t the most loving or caring, but there were hints here and there. A kiss on the forehead, an older sibling giving him the slightly bigger half of a cookie, little Milly coming to climbing into his bed during a particularly bad thunderstorm. Despite not thinking about them for countless years, Max couldn’t stop the memories from playing over and over.  

It didn’t take him long to learn that they kept him sane, let him forget the pain in his chest.

(Let him forget how lonely he was-)

It hurt to confess that he desperately craved contact. With humans, animals, anyone! Even a scrap would last him a lifetime at that point-

You could say Sam was Max’s saving grace, as pathetic as that sounded.

The day the dog moved in was perhaps the happiest moment of Max’s- well, not life, but whatever the ghost equivalent was. Non-life? Existence? Guy was noisy for sure. Talked through mundane tasks, whistled random tunes, turned up the tv to the point where the lagomorph was sure the neighbors could hear every gunshot from the noir films Sam was so fond of, all of it blended into a wonderful symphony of cacophony.

Max loved it. Even his terrible banjo playing. Found it endearing even, but he would take that lil’ tidbit to his grave… If he could find it, that is.

The rabbit had watched from afar. Not really a point to creep on the guy up close when the chance of seeing him was zero percent. He was used to stalking people from afar anyway (obviously), so it felt nice to fall into a rhythm.

Watch Sam wake up. Morning routine included bathroom necessities, of which Max had only peeked once (by accident!). Least he could do was give the poor dog some privacy. After that was breakfast. Usually a slice of toast or bowl of cereal (something sugary and tooth-rotting, so the rabbit knew he had good taste) along with the essential cup of coffee. It amused Max to no end that it was more a glorified cup of milk and sugar, yet it was-dare he think it- kinda cute actually.

From all his observations, Max could only assume the dog was a detective of some sort. His oak desk was covered with endless amounts of papers and folders, of which he would spend the entire day looking through until Sam came home to do the same. Almost felt like he was some kind of housewife waiting for her husband.

Almost like he actually meant something again.

If he’d met Sam when he was alive, what would’ve been different?

Everything. There was no doubt about it.

Sam was special.

Max just hadn’t known how much until that special night….

Maybe ‘people’ weren’t that bad after all.

[alcalavicci]

1988 interview with Dean. This is a really good one and helps bring more of his life into perspective. Note: the newspaper originally censored his swearing, but I’ve put it back.

Guthman, Edward. "Dean Stockwell: Third Time's a Charm." The San Francisco Examiner (San Francisco, California), August 14, 1988.

“Six years ago, Dean Stockwell's acting career had turned to dust. Reduced to playing parts in unreleasable, made-in-Mexico movies that now make him cringe, Stockwell decided to chuck it all and get out of Hollywood.

“Along with his second wife, Joy, Stockwell moved to Santa Fe, settled down under the wide New Mexico sky and applied for a real estate license. He even placed an ad in Daily Variety to announce his exile: 'Dean Stockwell will help you with all your real estate needs in the new center of creative energy.'

“Stockwell never sold a house; he didn't need to. Instead, almost as soon as he'd relocated, things started happening to the former 1940s child star. It began with a small part in David Lynch's 'Dune,' and escalated with an important supporting role in Wim Wenders' highly regarded 'Paris, Texas.'

“Moving back to California to cash in on his fortune, Stockwell acted in 'Beverly Hills Cop II,' 'Gardens of Stone,' and 'To Live and Die in L.A.' He also played a cameo role, as Howard Hughes, in the newly released 'Tucker: The Man and His Dream.' And in 'Blue Velvet,' David Lynch's American nightmare, he delivered a chilling cameo as Ben, a waxlike, sexually ambiguous drug dealer.

“And now, at 52, Stockwell says he's found 'the favorite role I've had, by far.'

“The picture is 'Married to the Mob,' a dark, romantic comedy by Jonathan Demme ('Melvin and Howard,' 'Stop Making Sense') and Stockwell plays Mafia don Tony 'the Tiger' Russo. Wearing an Al Capone fedora and full-length vicuna coat, Tony is a rich, sardonic, larger-than-life character -- the kind Stockwell has never had a chance to play until now.

“Opening Friday at the Galaxy and UA the Movies, 'Married to the Mob' has been touted as Demme's first shot at a genuine box-office winner. Set in Long Island, New Jersey and Florida, it stars Michelle Pfeiffer as Angela DeMarco, a young Mafia wife who tries to start a new life when her husband, Frankie 'the Cucumber' DeMarco, is pumped full of lead during a hot-tub tryst at the Fantasia Motel.

“When Stockwell's character isn't ordering hits, drug deals and the dumping of toxic waste, he's lusting assiduously after the gorgeous widow. Meanwhile, bumbling FBI agent Mike Downey (played by Matthew Modine) is jumping through hoops trying to shadow Angela and 'catch Tony with his pants down.' Instead, he falls in love with Angela.

“During a recent luncheon interview, not far from his central California home, Stockwell spoke about the film, about his new happiness as the father of two children and about the bizarre trajectory of his long career. Dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and slacks, wearing a Panama hat and drawing first on a cigaret, later on a cigar, Stockwell emanates prosperity and calm.

“'I don't know why I was unemployed so long,' he says, reflecting on a fallow period that started in the '60s and lasted the better part of two decades. 'The only thing I can figure out in my own mind is that, for some reason or another, I was being made to wait until a certain time in my life when my talent would reach its full maturity and fruition.'

“Ironically, he says, he felt just as equipped 10 years ago to do the work he's doing now -- 'only I couldn't get fucking arrested.'

“Today, Stockwell sees harmony in the fact that his new success coincides with the arrival of two children. His son, Austin, will be 5 in November, and his daughter, Sophia, turns 3 this month. Inordinately proud and protective, he refuses to allow his children to be photographed, and also requests that the town in which he and his family reside not be named. (There were no children from his first marriage, to Millie Perkins, which lasted from 1960 to 1962.)

“'I want to make a lot of money and I want to put it away for my children,' he says. To that end, Stockwell has been snapping up job offers. 'A lot of people ask me, "How have you been able to choose these wonderful things you're doing? Have you been very selective?" And I have to tell them, "I haven't been choosing what I'm doing." Things have been coming and I've been accepting virtually anything that's come.'

“Stockwell's ambition is so great that, for the first time in his life, he actively pursues aspects of his career that he once shunned- interviews, for example.

“'My entire motivation in life is my family,' he says. 'I don't need to get an award. I don't need recognition. I've had that already. What I need is to provide. The best way I can provide is to be successful, and the best way I can be successful is to take advantage of all the things at my disposal to achieve that, one of which certainly is press.'

“Take a look at the young Stockwell, specifically the version that emerges from old magazine and newspaper interviews, and you meet another person altogether.

“Robbed of a normal childhood, Stockwell had made 22 films by the time he was 15 -- including 'The Boy with Green Hair,' 'Kim,' 'Anchors Aweigh,' and the Oscar-winning 'Gentleman's Agreement.' Working nonstop, he had a privileged life that millions of children probably envied, but he loathed it nonetheless.

“The son of show-business parents -- his father, Harry Stockwell, was the voice of the Prince in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,' and his mother, Betty Veronica, was a former stage dancer -- Stockwell made his professional debut at 7. It all happened by a fluke: when Stockwell accompanied his older brother, Guy, on a Broadway audition, the casting director took a liking to both boys, and cast each one. The play, aptly enough, was called 'Innocent Voyage,' and it led to an MGM contract for curly-haired Dean.

“From the beginning, the pressure on young Stockwell was intense. His parents had divorced when he was 6, and when his father defaulted on child-support payments, Dean reluctantly became the family provider. Over a six-year period, he averaged three to four films per year.

“At home, he says, 'There was a lot of friction... I was getting all the attention, but I hated it. [Guy] couldn't appreciate that, because he wasn't getting the attention. He had all these friends, his peer group, that he took for granted. I had none and I resented him for being able to live that way. I was fucking lonely.'

“When he was 13, chained to a seven-year contract, Stockwell was described by one magazine as 'a young rebel who despises acting and resents every moment it takes from his fleeting boyhood.' Many years later, Stockwell told columnist Hedda Hopper, 'Child actors exist in a sort of limbo between childhood and maturity and belong to neither. Adults take them too seriously and other children are either awed or hostile. A child actor can find friends in neither group.'

“Finally, Stockwell fled Hollywood when he was 16. He cut off his curly locks, started using his real name, Robert Stockwell, and for the next five years roamed the country, working menial jobs and disavowing his true identity. 'People that might have known me from seeing my films knew me as a young child,' he remembers. 'Now I was 17 and I wasn't that recognizable.'

“Around the time of his 21st birthday, Stockwell was pushing papers as mail boy to a Manhattan plumbing firm. 'Of all the jobs that I'd had in those intervening years,' he remembers. 'I think I hated that worse than anything. I came to the realization I had no training at anything. My primary education was very skimpy, very poor, and happened under the worst type of conditions. I was literally at the mercy of the world.'

“Most of Stockwell's childhood earnings were squandered by crooked accountants, he says, and he knew that the tiny sum being held in a trust wouldn't last forever. 'So I thought, "What am I gonna do? Well, let's go back and attack this [acting career] again, and see if I can do it a little more on my terms."'

“What followed for Stockwell was a brief but impressive 'second career.' He starred in the 1959 film 'Compulsion,' based on the Leopold-Loeb case of the '20s, and won a joint acting award with Orson Welles and Bradford Dillman at the Cannes Film Festival. He played the lead in the 1960 film of D. H. Lawrence's 'Sons and Lovers,' and in 1962 scored the plum role of Edmund Tyrone in Sidney Lumet's film version of 'Long Day's Journey Into Night,' holding his own alongside Katharine Hepburn, Ralph Richardson and Jason Robards.

“Stockwell was winning the best parts, but found his attention drifting elsewhere. What was happening, he says, were the first signs of the '60s youth revolution. 'It captured my imagination as much as anybody's. And it represented to me -- I can see this in retrospect -- something in childhood that I had missed: the freedom and loving being alive, without responsibilities and work and having to report to the studio every day, and deal with fans and interviews and shit that I hated when I was a kid.'

“So Stockwell called his agent, said, 'I'm not workin',' and dropped out once again. When he tried to come back three years later, though, 'I found it very difficult, 'cause I'd been out-of-sight, out-of-mind.' What followed was a long period of marginal employment: He found some TV work, took parts in low-budget trash ('The Dunwich Horror') and occasional oddities (Dennis Hopper's 'The Last Movie') and co-directed a film with musician Neil Young ('Human Highway') but often just didn't work at all. At one point, he went 18 months without a job.

“Today, along with his buddy Hopper, Stockwell is enjoying a major career renaissance. And with his starring role in 'Married to the Mob,' he says, he's never felt more confident.

“'I knew before I started the film that this character was going to work in spades,' he says, adding that Demme, as director, deserves credit for taking a risk with such offbeat casting. Instead of picking Peter Falk, Vincent Gardenia or another ethnically identified actor to play the Mafia don, he went with Stockwell (who is actually half-Italian on his mother's side).

“Demme's inspiration occurred on a flight from Los Angeles to New York, when he opened a copy of the Hollywood Reporter. Stockwell had just changed agents, and in order to announce the fact, had taken out a full-page ad. Demme saw the picture, and instantly recognized his Tony.

“Weirdly enough, Stockwell made another film immediately prior to 'Married to the Mob': a Canadian feature called 'Palais Royale,' due for an October release, in which he plays a character almost identical to Tony Russo.

“'It's very curious,' he says. 'For all my years I'd never had a role like this come my way, and here it was twice. The Mafia don in New York, the Mafia don in Toronto, both of them colorful and charming and also threatening. And I just thought, "What am I gonna do? It's the same character." So I decided to do the same character in both those movies.'

“To take the coincidence 'one nauseating step further,' Stockwell says he's also got a part in the recently completed 'Backtrack,' Hopper's next film. This time he plays a corrupt mob lawyer, dropping the Italian accent for a generalized East Coast sound.

“It would be difficult to find a film actor who's busier than Stockwell at this moment. And it would be difficult to find anyone whose job history better illustrates the vicissitudes, serendipities and insecurity of a Hollywood career.

“Looking back on his misfortunes -- at the career that he was forced to accept as a child, and the humiliation he felt when he couldn't maintain it as an adult -- Stockwell says he's not bitter. 'When you reach your maturity, I think it behooves you to accept the fact that it's absolutely futile and fruitless even to speculate on changing anything in your life. All you can do is get embittered. So I accept everything that's happened as part of my life, and try to push it in a positive direction from the moment right now.'”

[itsclydebitches]

Enola Holmes: A Not So Elementary Adaptation

It's cliché and a bit unfair to say that the book was better than the film, but I'm afraid that's precisely where I need to start. Nancy Springer's Enola Holmes: The Case of the Missing Marquess is leagues better than Netflix's adaptation of it. They did her work dirty and to say that I'm shocked at the accolades other reviewers are heaping on the film is an understatement. Before I dive into any critiques though, it's worth acknowledging that not every minute of the two hour film was painful to get through. So what worked in Enola Holmes?

The film is carried by the talent of its cast, Millie Bobby Brown being the obvious heavy-hitter. She helps breathe life into a pretty terrible script and it's only a shame her talent is wasted on such a subpar character.

The idea to have Enola continually break the fourth wall, though edging into the realm of Dora the Explorer at times—"Do you have any ideas?"— was nevertheless a fun way to keep the audience looped into her thought process. Young viewers in particular might enjoy it as a way to make them feel like a part of the action and older viewers will note the Fleabag influence. 

The cinematography is, perhaps, where most of my praise lies. The rapid cuts between past and present, rewinding as Enola thinks back to some pertinent detail, visualizing the cyphers with close ups on the letter tiles—all of it gave the film an upbeat, entertaining flair that almost made up for how bloated and meandering the plot was.

We got an equally upbeat soundtrack that helped to sell the action. 

The overall experience was... fine. In the way a cobbled together, candy-coated, meant to be seen on a Friday night but we watched it Wednesday and then promptly forgot about it film is fine. I doubt Enola Holmes will be winning any awards, but it was a decently entertaining romp and really, does a Netflix film need to be anything more? If Enola was her own thing made entirely by Netflix's hands I wouldn't be writing this review. As it stands though, Enola is both an adaptation and the latest addition to one of the world’s most popular franchises. That's where the film fails: not as a fun diversion to take your mind off Covid-19, but as an adaptation of Springer's work and as a Sherlock Holmes story.

In short, Enola Holmes, though pretty to look at and entertaining in a predictable manner, still fails in five crucial areas: 

1. Mycroft is Now a Mustache-Twirling Villain and Sherlock is No Longer Sherlock Holmes

This aspect is the least egregious because admittedly the film didn't pull this version of Mycroft out of thin air. As the head of the household he is indeed Enola's primary antagonist (outside of some kidnappers) and though he insists that he's doing all this for Enola's own good, he does get downright cruel at times:

He rolled his eyes. “Just like her mother,” he declared to the ceiling, and then he fixed upon me a stare so martyred, so condescending, that I froze rigid. In tones of sweetest reason he told me, “Enola, legally I hold complete charge over both your mother and you. I can, if I wish, lock you in your room until you become sensible, or take whatever other measures are necessary in order to achieve that desired result... You will do as I say" (Springer 69).

Mycroft's part is clear. He's the white, rich, powerful, able-bodied man who benefits from society's structure and thus would never think to change it. He does legally have charge over both Enola and Eudoria. He can do whatever he pleases to make them "sensible"... and that right there is the horror of it. Mycroft is a law-abiding man whose antagonism stems from doing precisely what he's allowed to do in a broken world. There are certainly elements of this in the Netflix adaptation, but that antagonism becomes so exaggerated that it's nearly laughable. Enola's governess (appointed by Mycroft) slaps her across the face the moment she speaks up. Mycroft screams at her in a carriage until she's cowering against the window. He takes her and throws her into a boarding school where everything is bleak and all the women dutifully follow instructions like hypnotized dolls. Enola Holmes ensures that we've lost all of Springer's nuance, notably the criticism of otherwise decent people who fall into the trap of doing the "right" (read: expected) thing. Despite her desire for freedom, in the novel Enola quickly realizes that she is not immune to society's standards:

"I thought he was younger.” Much younger, in his curled tresses and storybook suit. Twelve! Why, the boy should be wearing a sturdy woollen jacket and knickers, an Eton collar with a tie, and a decent manly haircut—

Thoughts, I realised, all too similar to those of my brother Sherlock upon meeting me (113-14).

She is precisely like her brothers, judging a boy for not looking and acting enough like a man just as they judged her for not looking and acting enough like a lady. The difference is that Enola has chaffed enough against those expectations to realize when she's falling prey to them, but the sympathetic link to her brothers remains. In the film, however, the conflict is no longer driven by fallible people doing what they think is best. Rather, it's made clear (in no uncertain terms) that these are just objectively bad people. Only villains hit someone like that. Only villains will scream at the top of their lungs until a young girl cries. Only villains roll their eyes at women's rights (a subplot that never existed in the novel). Springer writes Mycroft as a person, Netflix writes him as a cartoon, and the result is the loss of a nuanced message about what it means to enact change in a complicated world.  

Which leaves us with Sherlock. Note that in the above passage he is the one who casts harsh judgement on Enola's outfit. Originally Mycroft took an interest in making Enola "sensible" and Sherlock— in true Holmes fashion—straddles a fine line between comfort and insult:

"Mycroft,” Sherlock intervened, “the girl's head, you'll observe, is rather small in proportion to her remarkably tall body. Let her alone. There is no use confusing and upsetting her when you'll find out for yourself soon enough'" (38).

***

"Could mean that she left impulsively and in haste, or it could reflect the innate untidiness of a woman's mind,” interrupted Sherlock. “Of what use is reason when it comes to the dealings of a woman, and very likely one in her dotage?" (43).

A large part of Enola's drive stems from proving to Sherlock, the world, and even herself that a small head does not mean lack of intelligence. His insults, couched in a misguided attempt to sooth, is what makes Sherlock a complex character and his broader sexism is what makes him a flawed character, not Superman in a tweed suit. Yet in the film Mycroft becomes the villain and Sherlock is his good brother foil. Rather than needing to acknowledge that Enola has a knack for deduction by reading the excellent questions she's asked about the case—because why give your characters any development?—he already adores and has complete faith in her, laughing that he too likes to draw caricatures to think. By the tree Sherlock remanences fondly about Enola's childhood where she demonstrated appropriately quirky preferences for a genius, things like not wearing trousers and keeping a pinecone for a pet. They have a clear connection that Mycroft could never understand, one based both in deduction and, it seems, being a halfway decent human being. We are told that Enola has Sherlock's wits, but poor Mycroft lucked out, despite the fact that up until this point the film has done nothing to demonstrate this supposed intelligence. (To say nothing of how canonically Mycroft's intellect rivals his brother's.) Enola falls to her knees and begs for Sherlock's help, saying that "For [Mycroft] I'm a nuisance, to you—" implying that they have a deep bond despite not having seen one another since Enola was a toddler. Indeed, at one point Enola challenges Lestrade to a Sherlock quiz filled with information presumably not found in the newspaper clippings she's saved of him, which begs the question of how she knows her brother so well when she hasn't seen him in a decade and he, in turn, walked right by her with no recognition. Truthfully, Lestrade should know Sherlock better. Through all this the sibling bond is used as a heavy-handed insistence that Enola is Sherlock's protégé, him leaving her with the advice that "Those kinds of mysteries are always the best to unpick” and straight up asking at one point if she’s solved the case. The plot has Enola gearing up to outwit her genius brother, which did not happen in the novel and is precisely why I loved it. Enola isn't out to be a master of deduction in her teens, she's a finder of lost people who uses a similar, but ultimately unique set of skills. She does things Sherlock can't because she is isn't Sherlock. They're not in competition, they're peers, yet the film fails to understand that, using Sherlock's good brother bonding to emphasize Enola's place as his protégé turned superior. He exists, peppered throughout the film, so that she can surpass him in the end. 

You know what happens in the novel? Sherlock walks away from her, dismissive, and that's that.

That's also Sherlock Holmes. I won't bore you with complaints about Cavill being too handsome and Claflin being too thin for their respective parts, but I will draw the line at complete character assassination. Part of Sherlock's charm is that he's far more compassionate than he first appears, but that doesn't mean he would, at the drop of a telegram, become a doting older brother to a sister of all things. Despite the absurdity of the Doyle Estate's lawsuit against Netflix for making Sherlock an emotional man who respects women... they're right that this isn't their character. Oh, Sherlock is emotive, but it's in the form of excited exclamations over clues, or the occasional warm word towards Watson—someone he has known and lived with for many years. Sherlock respects women, though it's through those societal expectations. He'll offer them a seat, an ear, a handkerchief if they need one, and always the promise of help, but he then dismisses them with, "The fairer sex is your department, Watson." Springer successfully wrote Sherlock Holmes with a little sister, a man who will bark out a laugh at her caricature but still leave her to Mycroft's whims because he has his own life to tend to. This is a man who insists that the mind of a woman is inscrutable and thus must grapple with his shock at Enola's ability to cover the "salient points" of the case (58). Cavill's Sherlock is no Sherlock at all and though there's nothing wrong with updating a character for a modern audience (see: Elementary), I do question why Netflix strayed so far from Springer's work. The novel is, after all, their blueprint. She already managed the difficult task of writing an in-character Sherlock Holmes who remains approachable to both a modern audience and Enola herself, yet for some reason Netflix tossed that work aside.  

2. Enola is "Special,” Not At All Like Other Girls 

Allow me to paint you a picture. Enola Holmes is an empathetic, fourteen-year-old girl who, while bright, does not possess an intelligence worthy of note. No one is gasping as she deduces seemingly impossible things from the age of four, or admiring her knowledge of some obscure, appropriately impressive topic. Rather, Enola is a fairly normal girl with an abnormal upbringing, characterized by her patience and willingness to work. Deciphering the many hiding places where her mother stashed cash takes her weeks, requiring that Enola work through the night in secrecy while maintaining appearances during the day. She manages to hatch a plan of escape that demonstrates the thought she's put into it without testing the reader's suspension of disbelief. More than that, she uses the feminine tools at her disposal to give herself an edge: hiding her face behind a widow's veil and storing luggage in the bustle of her dress. Upon achieving freedom, her understanding of another lonely boy leads her to try and help him, resulting in a dangerous kidnapping wherein Enola acts as most fourteen-year-olds would, scared out of her mind with a few moments of bravery born of pure survival instinct. She and Tewksbury escape together, as friends, before Enola sets out on becoming the first scientific perditorian, a finder of lost people.

Sadly, this new Enola shares little resemblance with her novel counterpart. What Netflix seemingly fails to understand is that giving a character flaws makes them relatable and that someone who looks more like us is someone we can connect with. This Enola, simply put, is extraordinary. She's read all the books in the library, knows science, tennis, painting, archery, and a deadly form of Jujitsu (more on that below). In the novel Enola bemoans that she was never particularly good at cyphers and now must improve if she has any hope of reading what her mother left her. In the film she simply knows the answers, near instantaneously. Enola masters her travels, her disguises, and her deductions, all with barely a hitch. Though Enola doesn't have impressive detective skills yet, her memory is apparently photographic, allowing her to look back on a single glance into a room, years ago, and untangle precisely what her mother was planning. It's a BBC Sherlock-esque form of 'deduction' wherein there's no real thought involved, just an innate ability to recall a newspaper across the room with perfect clarity. The one thing Enola can't do well is ride a bike which, considering that in the novel she quite enjoys the activity, feels like a tacked on "flaw" that the film never has to have her grapple with.

More than simply expanding upon her skillset—because let’s be real, it’s not like Sherlock himself doesn’t have an impressive list of accomplishments. Even if Enola’s feelings of inadequacy are part of the point Springer was working to make—the film changes the core of her personality. I cannot stress enough that Enola is a sheltered fourteen-year-old who is devastated by the disappearance of her mother and terrified by the new world she's entered. That fear, uncertainty, and the numerous mistakes that come out of it is what allowed me to connect with Enola and go, "Yeah. I can see myself in her." Meanwhile, this new Enola is overwhelmingly confident, to the point where I felt like I was watching a child's fantasy of a strong woman rather than one who actually demonstrates strength by overcoming challenges. For example, contrast her meeting with Sherlock and Mycroft on the train platform with what we got in the film:

"And to my annoyance, I found myself trembling as I hopped off my bicycle. A strip of lace from my pantalets, confounded flimsy things, caught on the chain, tore loose, and dangled over my left boot.

Trying to tuck it up, I dropped my shawl.

This would not do. Taking a deep breath, leaving my shawl on my bicycle and my bicycle leaning against the station wall, I straightened and approached the two Londoners, not quite succeeding in holding my head high" (31-32).

***

"Well, if they did not desire the pleasure of my conversation, it was a good thing, as I stood mute and stupid... 'I don't know where she's gone,' I said, and to my own surprise—for I had not wept until that moment—I burst into tears" (34).

I'd ask where this frightened, fumbling Enola has gone, but it's clear that she never existed in the script to begin with. The film is chock-full of her being, to be frank, a badass. She gleefully beats up the bad guys in perfect form, no, "I froze, cowering, like a rabbit in a thicket" (164). This Enola always gets the last word in and never falters in her confident demeanor, no, "I wish I could say I swept with cold dignity out of the room, but the truth is, I tripped over my skirt and stumbled up the stairs" (70). Enola is the one, special girl in an entire school who can see how rigid and horrible these social expectations are, straining against them while all her lesser peers roll their eyes. That's how she's characterized: as "special," right from the get-go, and that eliminates any growth she might have experienced over the course of the film. More than that, it feels like a slap in the face to Springer's otherwise likeable, well-rounded character.

3. A Focus on Hollywood Action and Those Strong Female Characters

It never fails to amaze me how often Sherlock Holmes adaptations fail to remember that he is, at his core, an intellectual. Sure, there's the occasional story where Sherlock puts his boxing or singlestick skills to good use, and he did survive his encounter with Moriarty thanks to his own martial arts, but these moments are rarities across the canon. Pick up any Sherlock Holmes story, open to a random page, and you will find him sitting fireside to mule over a case, donning a disguise to observe the suspects, or combing through his many papers to find that one, necessary scrap of information. Sherlock Holmes is about deduction, a series of observations and conclusions based on logic. He's not an action hero. Nor is Enola, yet Netflix seems to be under the impression that no audience can survive a two hour film without something exploding.

I'd like to present a concise list of things that happened in the film that were, in my opinion, unnecessary:

Enola and Tewksbury throw themselves out of a moving train to miraculously land unharmed on the grass below.

Enola uses the science knowledge her mother gave her to ignite a whole room of gunpowder and explosives, resulting in a spectacle that somehow doesn't kill her pursuer.

Enola engages in a long shootout with her attacker, Tewksbury takes a shot straight to the chest, but survives because of a breastplate he only had a few seconds to put on and hide beneath his shirt. Then Enola succeeds in killing Burn Gorman's slimy character.

Enola beats up her attackers many, many times.

This right here is the worst change to her character. Enola is, plainly put, a "strong woman." Literally. She was trained from a young age to kick ass and now that's precisely what she'll do. Gone is the unprepared but brave girl who heads out onto the dangerous London streets in the hope of helping her mother and a young boy. What does this Enola have to fear? There's only one martial arts move she hasn't mastered yet and, don't worry, she gets it by the end of the film. Enola suffers from the Hollywood belief that strong women are defined solely as physically capable women and though there's nothing wrong with that on the surface, the archetype has become so prevalent that any deviation is seen as too weak—too princess-y—to be considered feminist. If you're not kicking ass and taking names then you can only be passive, right? Stuck in a tower somewhere and awaiting your prince. But what about me? I have no ability to flip someone over my shoulder and throw them into a wall. What about pacifists? What about the disabled? By continually claiming that this is what a "strong" woman looks like you eliminate a huge number of women from this pool. The women we are meant to uphold in this film—Enola, her Mother, and her Mother's friend from the teahouse—are all fighters of the physical variety, whereas the bad women like Mrs. Harris and her pupils are too cultured for self-defense. They're too feminine to be feminist. But feminism isn't about your ability to throw a punch.  Enola's success now derives from being the most talented and the most violent in the room, rather than the most determined, smart, and empathetic. She threatens people and lunges at them, reminding others that she's perfectly capable of tying up a guy is she so chooses because "I know Jujitsu." Enola possesses a power that is just as fantastical as kissing a frog into a prince. In sixteen short years she has achieved what no real life woman ever will: the ability to go wherever she pleases and do whatever she wants without the threat of violence. Because Enola is the violence. While her attacker is attempting to drown her with somewhat horrific realism, Enola takes the time to wink at the audience before rearing back and bloodying his nose. After all, why would you think she was in any danger? Masters of Jujitsu with an uncanny ability to dodge bullets don't have anything to fear... unlike every woman watching this film.

It's certainly some kind of wish fulfillment, a fantasy to indulge in, but I personally preferred the original Enola who never had any Hollywood skills at her disposal yet still managed to come out on top. That's a character I can see myself in and want to see myself in given that the concept of non-violent strength is continually pushed to the wayside. Not to mention... that's a Sherlock Holmes story. Coming out on top through intellect and bravery alone is the entire point of the genre, so why Netflix felt the need to turn Enola into an action hero is beyond me.  

4. Aging Up the Protagonists (and Giving Them an Eye-Rolling Romance)

The choice to age up our heroes is, arguably, the worst decision here. In the original novel Enola has just turned fourteen and Tewksbury is a child, twelve-years-old, though he looks even younger. It's a story for a younger audience staring appropriately young heroes, with the protagonists' status as children crucial to one of the overarching themes of the story: what does it really mean to strike out on your own and when are you ready for it? Adding two years to Enola's age is something I'm perfectly fine with. After all, the difference between fourteen and sixteen isn't that great and Brown herself is sixteen until February of 2021, so why not aim for realism and make her character the same? That's all reasonable and this is, indeed, an adaptation. No need to adhere to every detail of the text. What puzzles me though is why in the world they would take a terrified, sassy, compassionate twelve-year-old and turn him into a bumbling seventeen-year-old instead?

Ah yes. The romance.

In the same way that I fail to understand the assumption that a film needs over-the-top action to be entertaining, I likewise fail to understand the assumption that it needs a romance—and a heterosexual one to boot. There's something incredibly discomforting in watching a film that so loudly proclaim itself as feminist, yet it takes the strong friendship between two children and turns it into an incredibly awkward, hetero True Love story. Remember when Enola loudly proclaims that she doesn't want a husband? The film didn't, because an hour later she's stroking her hand over Tewksbury's while twirling her hair. Which isn't to say that women can't fall in love, or change their minds, just that it's disheartening to see a supposedly feminist film so completely fall into one of the biggest expectations for women, even today. Forget Enola running up to men and paying them for their clothes as an expression of freedom, is anyone going to acknowledge that narratively she’s still stuck living the life the men around her want? Find yourself a husband, Enola. The heavy implication is she did, just with Jujitsu rather than embroidery. Different method, same message, and that’s incredibly frustrating when this didn’t exist in the original story. “It's about freedom!” the film insists. So why didn't you give Enola the freedom to have a platonic adventure? 

It's not even a good romance. Rather painful, really. When Tewksbury, after meeting her just once before, passionately says "I don't want to leave you, Enola" because her company is apparently more important than him staying alive, I literally laughed out loud. It's ridiculous and it's ridiculously precisely because it was shoe-horned into a story that didn't need it. More than simply saddling Enola with a bland love interest though, this leads to a number of unfortunate changes in the story's plot, both unnecessary additions and disappointing exclusions. Enola no longer meets Tewksbury after they've both been kidnapped (him for ransom and her for snooping into his case), but rather watches him cut himself out of a carpetbag on the train. I hope I don't have to explain which of these scenarios is more likely and, thus, more satisfying. Meeting Tewksbury on the train means that Enola gets to have a nighttime chat with him about precisely why he ran away. Thus, when she goes to his estate she no longer needs to deduce his hiding spot based on her own desires to have a place of her own, she just needs to recall that a very big branch nearly fell on him and behold, there that branch is. (The fact that the branch is a would-be murder weapon makes its convenient placement all the more eye-rolling.) Rather than involving herself in the case out of empathy for the family, Enola loudly proclaims that she wants nothing to do with Tewksbury and only reluctantly gets involved when it's clear his life is on the line. And that right there is another issue. In the novel there is no murderous plot in an attempt to keep reform bills from passing. Tewksbury is a child who, like Enola, ran away and quickly discovers that life with an overbearing mother isn't so bad when you've experienced London's dangerous streets. That's the emotional blow: Enola has no mother to go home to anymore and must press out onto those streets whether she's ready for it or not.

Perhaps the only redeeming change is giving Tewksbury an interest in flowers instead of ships. Regardless of how overly simplistic the feminist message is, it is a nice touch to give the guy a traditionally feminine hobby while Enola sharpens her knife. The fact that Enola learned that from her mother and Tewksbury learned botany from his father feels like a nudge at a far better film than Enola Holmes managed to be. For every shining moment of insight—the constraints of gendered hobbies, a black working class woman informing Sherlock that he can never understand what it means to lack power—the film gives us twenty minutes worth of frustrating stupidity. Such as how Enola doesn't seem to conceive of escaping from boarding school until Tewksbury appears to rescue her. She then proceeds to get carried around in a basket for a few minutes before going out the window... which she could have done on her own at any point, locked doors or no. But it seems that narrative consistency isn't worth more than Enola (somehow) leaving a caricature of Mrs. Harris and Mycroft behind. The film is clearly trying to promote a "Rah, rah, go, women, go!" message, but fails to understand that having Enola find a way out of the school herself would be more emotionally fulfilling than having her send a generic 'You're mean' message after the two men in her life—Sherlock and Tewksbury—remind her that she can, in fact, take action.

Which brings me to my biggest criticism and what I would argue is the film's greatest flaw. Reviewers and fans alike are hailing Enola Holmes as a feminist masterpiece and yes, to a certain extent it is. Feminist, that is, not a masterpiece. (5) But it's a hollow feminism. A fantasy feminism. A simple, exaggerated feminism that came out of a Feminism 101 PowerPoint. To quote Sherlock, let's review the salient points:

A woman cannot be the star of her own film without having a male love interest, even if this goes against everything the original novel stood for.

A feminist woman cannot also be selfish. Instead she must have a selfless drive to change the world with bombs. 

The best kind of women are those who reject femininity as much as they can. They will wear boy's clothes whenever possible and snub their nose at something as useless as embroidery. Any woman who enjoys such skills or desires to become lady-like just hasn't realized the sort of prison she's in yet.

The best women also embody other masculine traits, like being able to take down men twice their size. Passive women will titter behind their hands. Active women will kick you in the balls. If you really want to be a strong woman, learn how to throw a decent punch.

Women are, above all, superior to men.

Yes, yes, I joke about it just as much as the next woman, but seeing it played fairly straight was a bit of an uncomfortable experience, even more-so during a gender revolution where stories like this leave trans, nonbinary, and genderqueer viewers out of the ideological loop. Enola goes on and on about what a "useless boy" Tewksbury is (though of course she must still be attracted to him) and her mother's teachings are filled with lessons about not listening to men. As established, Mycroft—and Lestrade—are the simplistically evil men Enola must circumvent, whereas Sherlock exists for her to gain victory over: "How did your sister get there first?" Enola supposedly has a strength that Tewksbury lacks— he's just "foolish"—and she shouts out such cringe-worthy lines as, "You're a man when I tell you you're a man!"

I get the message, I really do. As a teenager I probably would have loved it, but now I have to ask: aren't we past the image of men-hating feminists? Granted, the film never goes quite that far, but it gets close. We’ve got one woman who is ready to start blowing things up to achieve equality and another who revels in looking down on the men in her life. That’s been the framing for years, that feminists are cruel, dangerous people and Tewksbury making heart-eyes at Enola doesn’t instantly fix the echoes of that. There's a certain amount of justification for both characterizations—we have reached points in history where peaceful protests are no longer enough and Tewksbury is indeed a fool at times—but that nuance is entirely lost among the film's overall message of "Women rule, men drool." It feels like there’s a smart film hidden somewhere between the grandmother murdering to keep the status quo and Enola’s mother bombing for change, that balance existing in Enola herself who does the most for women by protecting Tewkesbury... but Enola Holmes is too busy juggling all the different films it wants to be to really hit on that message. It certainly doesn’t have time to say anything worthwhile about the fight it’s using as a backdrop. Enola gasps that "Mycroft is right. You are dangerous" when she finds her mother's bombs, but does she ever grapple with whether she supports violence on a large scale in the name of creating a better world? Does she work through this sudden revelation that she agrees with Mycroft about something crucial? Of course not. Enola just hugs her mom, asks Sherlock not to go after her, and the film leaves it at that. 

The takeaway is less one of empowerment and more, ironically, of restriction. You can fight, but only via bombs and punches. It's okay to be a woman, provided you don't like too many feminine things. You can save the day, so long as there's a man at your side poised to marry you in the future. I felt like I was watching a pre-2000s script where "equality" means embracing the idea that you're "not like other girls" so that men will finally take you seriously. Because then you don't really feel like a woman to them anymore, do you? You're a martial arts loving, trouser-wearing, loud and brilliant individual who just happens to have long hair. You’re unique and, therefore, worthy of attention, unlike all those other girls.

That's some women's experiences, but far from all, and crucially I don't think this is the woman that Springer wrote in her novel. 

The Case of the Missing Marquess is a feminist book. It gives us a flawed, brave, intelligent woman who sets out to help people and achieves just that, mostly through her own strength, but also with some help from the young boy she befriends. Her brothers are privileged, misguided men who she nevertheless cares for deeply and her mother finally puts herself first, leaving Enola to go and live with the Romani people. Everyone in Springer's book feels human, the women especially. Enola gets to tremble her way through scary decisions while still remaining brave. Her mother gets to be selfish while still remaining loving. They're far more than just women blessed with extraordinary talents who will take what they want by force. Springer's women? They don't have that Hollywood glamour. They're pretty ordinary, actually, despite the surface quirks. They’re like us and thus they must make use of what tools they have in order to change their own situations as well as the world. The fact that they still succeed feels very feminist to me, far more-so than granting your character the ability to flip a man into the ground and calling it a day.  

Know that I watched Enola Holmes with a friend over Netflix Party and the repeated comment from us both was, "I'd rather be watching The Great Mouse Detective." Enola Holmes is by no means a horrible film. It has beauty, comedy, and a whole lot of heart, but it could have been leagues better given its source material and the talent of its cast. It’s a film that tries to do too much without having a firm grasp of its own message and, as a result, becomes a film mostly about missed potential. Which leads me right back to where I began: The book is better. Go read the book.

Images

Enola Holmes

Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

Enola and her Mother Doing Archery

Enola and her Mother Fighting

Tewkesbury and Enola

[pixeldolly]

A Strange Town Called Hopeville

★ Chapter One

A new day dawns on Hopeville, and as the sun rises across the morning sky, a messenger arrives bearing news that seem too strange even for this town...

It was Tim Jones, farmer Jones’ eldest son, and he was extremely agitated about something.

Tim: “Did you hear it? Did you see it?! It was huge!”

Alice Reed, even testier than usual that early in the morning, glowered from the hotel’s porch.

Alice: “What nonsense is this? We don’t have time for children’s games, boy.”

Tim: “Something fell from the sky last night, crashed right on Mr Muenda’s land! C’mon, you must’ve heard it!”

Alice scoffed audibly, but looked a trifle uncomfortable.

Alice: “That’s absurd.”

Anna: “No...no, he’s telling the truth.”

Everyone within earshot turned to face the speaker: Anna Lawrence, the blacksmith’s wife.

Anna: “I saw...whatever it was. It came in from the south, and...and...it flew right over the hotel! It was big, bigger than a waggon, and round, and was surrounded by spinning green lights, brighter than anything I’d ever seen! Strange purple smoke was coming out of it. It happened so fast!"

Alice snorted: “Ridiculous!”

Anna: “I know what I saw.”

Alice: “You must’ve fallen asleep and dreamed it all!”

Anna: “That’s not true!”

Drawn by the commotion, more residents were gathering around, including the town Sheriff, Boone Mason. They exchanged tell-tale looks: they’d all heard the crash and felt the tremors, but they’d been living in Hopeville long enough to know better than to rush out to investigate strange noises in the dark.

Now, however, in the light of day, nightly fears seemed distant and speculation ran wild. 

“Maybe it’s a meteorite! Or...meteor...don’t really know the difference.”

“What’s a meter-ride?”

“Meteorite. They’re big rocks that fall from the sky; I heard some are bigger than a house!”

“Rocks don’t have lights, moron.”

Sensing their restlessness, Sheriff Mason took charge before the crowd decided to rush out to the crash site on their own:

Sheriff Mason: “Alright, let’s go figure out what we’re dealing with here. Lawrence - do you have a gun?”

Frank: “I...er...no. I do have a scythe-”

Mason: “It’ll have to do. We’ll get Pip Jones and Lord Ashton and -”

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Jelani Muenda: “Ahem. Since it would appear that the...object has found its way onto my land, I think it is only right that I join your investigation.”

Mason: “Yeah...okay. I guess that’s fair. You know how to shoot a gun?”

Jelani: “I do.”

Alice: “Now wait just a moment, Sheriff Mason! I didn’t realize some people around here got preferential treatment! I demand to come with you.”

Her brother was mortified.

Louis: “Alice, please, stay out of this...”

Alice: “Be quiet, Louis!”

Mason: “I’m sorry, Alice -”

Alice: “Miss Reed!”

Mason: “Miss Reed. But I simply can’t allow that. We don’t know if this thing is dangerous or what - the five of us will secure the site and come back here to decide what to do together - as a town.”

Tim: “Can I come?”

Mason: “Absolutely not, kid.”

Tim: “I’m not a kid! I’m fifteen!”

Mason: “Hear me well, Tim Jones - you stay put or you’ll be answering to me.”

Father Clare: “I knew this day would come, when the forces of evil at last revealed themselves! They’re drawn to this place, feeding on its sin and drawing it ever deeper into their web of deception! You risk more than just your lives by going near the demon’s lair!”

Father Clare’s sermon went largely ignored, except by Flynn Garcia, the saloon owner.

Flynn: “I thought demons came from below, not above.”

This retort earned him a few amused chuckles; Father Clare’s face took on a deep, beetroot shade of red.

Father Clare: “I should have expected you to mock holy matters, Flynn Garcia, seeing how you own that house of sin you call a saloon, that den of iniquity -”

Flynn: “Yeah yeah, keep the preaching to the church, Father.”

Frank: “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be back before you know it.”

Anna: “You’d better!” 

Frank: “I love you. You and Jessie stay safe now.”

Anna: “We will. I love you too.”

Alice: “I didn’t see you volunteering! That little boy has a stronger spine than you do!”

Louis: “I’m not exactly a fighter, Alice! What if it’s dangerous? Let the Sheriff handle this, he knows what he’s doing!”

Alice: “This is why we always get treated like second class citizens, Louis - because we just keep our heads down and wait for others to tell us what to do.”

Sheriff Mason: “I leave the town in your hands.”

Flynn: “Wow; quite the honor.”

Mason: “I’m serious, Flynn. I trust you to keep the peace while I’m gone.”

Flynn: “I’ll do my best. It’s mostly women left, so maybe I'll offer a ladies’ special at the bar. Get Rosie to sing a ballad?”

Boone Mason smirked; one day, he’ll catch Flynn without a snappy remark and he’ll look unclothed. He allowed his hand to brush the other man’s in passing - so brief anybody else would have missed it, but Flynn felt it and understood perfectly.

Flynn: “Take care out there, yeah? Sheriff.”

Jelani Muenda: “I shall retrieve my pistol and meet you back here in five minutes.”

Father Clare: “Do you think a gun will protect you against the legions of Hell?”

Jelani: “Perhaps not; but should the threat, if one exists, prove to have less transcendental origins, I shall be glad of it.”

I heard the knock on the door, and watched from the balcony as Bernard conferred with four men; they kept their voices low and I could not make out what they were saying, but from their tone I could tell it was serious.

One of them carried a scythe; in spite of the heat, I felt a shiver slither down my spine.

Millie: “What happened? Who were those men?”

Bernard: “The Sheriff and a few others; it appears we have a...situation. I apologize, my dear, but I must leave.”

Millie: “And go where? Why are you carrying a gun? Is there danger?”

Bernard: “I’m not sure...yet. I want you to stay inside. Don’t leave the house until I return.”

Millie: “But -”

Bernard: “Just do as I say!”

Bernard: “What on Earth...”

Jelani: “Ah. Yes. A poor choice of words, I think, Lord Ashton.”

(Note: I know the guns aren’t really period-appropriate, and I would’ve liked to use some old-timey shotguns and revolvers, but it’s all I could find. :/)

[nyisntnywithoutyou]

THE ONE WITH THE SECRET

When it came to Hogwarts, it was more of an escape to Poppy than simply a school. Life wasn’t hell with her grandparents, but it was not heaven, either. The pale freckled girl with dark locks of hair couldn’t even complain; she didn’t feel the right to, she was no Harry Potter or anything alike - some tragedies get people’s sympathy, that just wasn’t her case. Poppy’s mom was dead too and poor girl didn’t even have a dad, but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone. She was just the bastard daughter and the weight her grandparents were destined to carry from then on. As Poppy’s grew older, she stopped resenting her family. As complicated as they all were, none of what happened was their fault, anyway. That was her problem and hers alone. It became easy to blame it all on herself, even if that was not even slightly fair. For Poppy, life felt like sorrow and shame. For who she was and for who she couldn’t be. “Sometimes I think I was born backwards, you know.” she’d say, "Come out my mom the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards. The people I should love, I hate. And the people I hate..." And so the hours would pass, days go by and in a wind blow, she’d go through years of unhappiness. Until her eleventh birthday finally came and so did her Hogwarts letter. For a moment, hope lightened up inside her, maybe there was still a way out of the misery. Maybe she could make friends, trace her own path and, who knows, even find her real father. Being sorted in Slytherin was one of her worst disappointments, in the very beginning. The whole Quill family was full of proud Slytherins, but not Poppy’s mom. She was a Hufflepuff. A cheerful, captivating Hufflepuff that would easily befriend everyone. Not having any other parental example to follow, her only hope to honour her mother’s name was being sort on Hufflepuff as well. But that was certainly not what happened and it drifted Poppy even further away from beloved Taylor Quill’s memory. But it didn’t take long for her to find worthy companionship. Soon conquering Madam Hooch’s attention with her great reflexes and flying skills, Poppy got a spot on Slytherin’s Quidditch team as Beater and, during one of her first matches, met her fellow opponents and, later, close friends, Fred and George Weasley. She also met Charles Weasley at the time, but the boy was years older than her and they didn’t get along well. He was, in her words, “a show off”. In her third year, Poppy Quill was already the best Potions’ student and would take extra classes in secret, in which Snape would teach her how to reproduce advanced and even forbidden potions. It was also in her third year that Poppy started hanging out with Millicent Coltrane, a second year Slytherin that soon became her very best friend. And for the few next years, everything seemed to be going so well with Poppy; good friends, good grades and good looks. But there was something; eating her insides. Something rotten. Something sinking her stomach down and it made her ill - physically ill, even. She felt anger, hate, rage breaking down to her every single nerve. Then, she would run somewhere isolated, scream, hurt herself, vomit and lose her breath. After the girl had organised all her emotions on imaginary boxes and locked them away, she’d cry until both her ocean blue eyes were burning by the salty tears, for she knew what it meant. She knew exactly what that something was: it was evil. Poppy had once read that ‘evil sits inside every woman, just waiting to bloom’ and, for a long time, she waited for the signs. The feelings of rage, loneliness, injustice, revenge, it bombarded her merciless. Then, one day, she killed: the worst part? It felt good. Poppy didn’t want to like it, but she did. So, every now and then, she would sneak out of Hogwarts and apparate to a special place that she knew no one cared about, then come back to Slytherin’s dorm as if nothing had happened. Rarely, Millie would catch her arriving on a cold night, though questioning Poppy’s strange habits had become impracticable. But killing so much could corrupt even the purest of souls - and the kindest the heart, the harder the damage. It was her sixth year and Poppy fell completely ill - convulsions and hallucinations that Madam Pomfrey couldn't understand or explain. For two weeks, every teacher interfered with their personal methods and tried to help, failing over and over again. It was Minerva and Dumbledore that, on a sudden glimpse of brilliancy, came up with a possible explanation to everything, that was, later on, proved positive. Indeed, Poppy’s mind was being manipulated by Legilimency by someone very intimate to her, possibly even from her own family. She never found out who the person was. Once the girl understood the “evil” inside her was not actually her, everything changed. It felt good, not to feel so angry all the time - there was a big weight growing inside her heart because of that. But when Poppy saw herself finally free from all that haunted her, she felt… cold. And so, so empty, like she wouldn’t be able to feel anything, ever again. She never thought she could get rid of all of her problems, but just expected something to change - and it never did. As if life just looked at her, middle fingers mode on, and screamed a big “fuck you” right at her face, as it became more unbearable over time, knowing Poppy would just break at any point. But it wasn’t until the Battle of Hogwarts until she finally did. “Professor Snape?” Her voice hesitated, as trembling as her skinny hands. “Poppy… Come in.” Snape turned around to stare at the girl, who looked so frightened for all the things that had been happening. Hogwarts was literally crumbling in pieces, she was losing friend after friend. It was just as if her PTSD had a meeting with every nightmare she'd had for the past nineteen years. “It’s been a while… since your graduation, is that right?” She couldn’t understand. For a moment, all that seemed so ridiculous and Poppy couldn’t recall what she was doing there any longer. “Did you have to talk to me, Professor?” “Right. Yes, Miss Quill. Can you follow me, please?” He interrupted his stare so they could walk towards the pensieve. “You must see something.” It was all Snape said, before resting a tired and intimidating gaze at Poppy. The girl nodded and soon leaned towards the round artefact, that suddenly took her to another scenario, as if she was in someone else’s mind. And in no time, she knew exactly what she was watching: Severus Snape entire life story, a girl named Lily, something about James Potter and Sirius Black, the prophecy about Harry Potter, the Horcruxes, Dumbledore and Snape’s role in this entire mess. As soon as the pensieve spit her out back to the harsh reality, Poppy immediately started to walk away, scared. “Why are you showing me these? I have nothing to do with that.” “I’m making you the secret keeper, Poppy, understand me? If I fail to give this message to Potter tonight, you have to show him what you just saw. This can change everything.” Poppy couldn’t stop her eyes from starting to tear up with all the panic and angst building up inside her chest. She shook her head in denial and leaned back on a wall, trying to control her breathing. “Why - why me? It could be anyone. This makes no sense.” “Because I trust you, Poppy.” “Why do you - Why would you trust me? I’m just an old student like thousands of others.” “Because I know your secret, Quill.” Snape stood up from his chair, uncrossing his arms. “I have been suspicious ever since I saw you, on your first day here, at the Sorting Hat ceremony. But I must admit, you did a good job hiding it away from everyone.” The girl suddenly had no words. She just stared at Snape, her turquoise eyes with a sad sparkle. “You knew this whole time - and why didn’t you ever talk to me about it? I was… right here.” “I had no way of protecting you, I couldn’t risk you getting hurt.” “Getting hurt? Have you even seen how shitty my entire existence has been?! 𝑵𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 has ever cared about protecting me.” The tears in her cheeks were then hidden by the colour red that burned her entire face. “No wonder my mom never told me about you. You are just a miserable, selfish liar.” “I don’t blame you for hating me, so many people do. I did things I regret in my life.” He took a few steps closer, even though they were still at a considerable distance. “But you were not one of them, Quill. You are probably the only thing I made in my entire life that turned into something worthy. And a proof of that is how I’m trusting you, out of everyone else, to keep this message. Poppy… will you do it for me?”

tl.gd/n_1srigoc

[bylerly]

alright everyone. after my rush of emotions after that season, i’ve had time to decompress, and make an actually cohesive list of my thoughts about the season. as you could probably guess - MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

first, let’s get the (much) shorter list out of the way. here’s what I enjoyed:

the acting. i want to mention how good millie was, because she was fantastic, but i almost feel like i shouldn’t, bc el took SO MUCH screen and plot time, that millie was given every opportunity to be good. she doesn’t really need any more special mention. otherwise - noah (with the little he was given) and sadie were particularly great. so were winona & david, but that goes without saying.

the elmax friendship. these two deserved it. and max bringing el out of her shell, showing her how to become her own person.... incredible. 10/10 i love them both

alexei. feels weird saying this, but he was probably the new addition I enjoyed watching the most. it would have been kind of cool to see him live past season 3.

an lgbt+ confirmed character. this one is a little.... tricky for me. as happy as I am that there is a queer woman written into the show... I feel like it’s a cop out to not have to confirm will’s sexuality. robin confirms her sexuality in less than a season, but after three with will, we still only get ~subtext~? still, this is a positive portion, so.... I guess that was something I was happy with

el moving in with the byers at the end. finally. this is one of the only things that is keeping me excited for s4. i guess i can only hope for there to FINALLY be some good willel interactions next season, but if this season has taught me anything, it’s not to get my hopes too high :-)

jancy ending s3 on a good note. parts of their storyline were fantastic, some were disappointing. but i really dug their dynamic, and the realistic struggle between the two of them, with nancy not really understanding jonathan’s class struggles, and jonathan not grasping the weight of the misogyny being thrown at nancy. their final moments at the empty byers house at the end were especially lovely.

el no longer being OP, and not being undefeatable. i love el. i really, genuinely do. i love her character, i love her traits, i lover her power. but the duffers were relying too heavily on her to constantly save the day with her powers, and it was happening too often. one of the faults of s2 was the constant thought of how easily el could’ve fought off all these threats if she was just there. i think it’s incredibly interesting to not only see her get completely worn out, but totally lose her powers. like mike said, i’m sure they’ll come back, but i want so badly for el to not just be defined by her powers.

a platonic m/f friendship. yes, one of them is confirmed queer, and they would’ve probably been romantically linked if she was straight. but i’ll take what i can get when it comes to this. platonic opposite sex relationships?? r i s e

now for the meat of my thoughts ~ what I didn’t like:

mike’s characterization. the writers completely made him into a dick this season. i get it, he’s a teenager, so he’s going to be an asshole sometimes. hell, in a recent post, I defended that, saying it’s good writing. but I underestimated just how awful he’d be, completely blowing off his friends for any chance for a second alone with el. I understand that he loves his girlfriend of course, but s1-2 mike loved his friends just as much. he was so utterly unlikable this season, that it seemed like he was a different character.

lucas as comic relief. this is so lazy, and i’m so angry for both the character and caleb, both of whom deserve so much better. he really had nothing to do if it wasn’t related to max, and the writers further reduced him down to a one-dimensional, kind of dumb, mediocre boyfriend, and that is not the highly intelligent, brave, kind lucas that i know and love.

will’s sidelining. god, this made absolutely no sense. noah fucking shined last season. he stole pretty much the entire thing. every critic, even those who disliked the season, had nothing but good things to say about his performance. furthermore, will has so much potential in so many different directions in so many aspects of his character. however, once he revealed to his friends that he was feeling the upside down/MF’s presence... they may as well have written out his character. he was sidelined almost to the point of background character. they gave him very little to do emotionally after that castle byers scene, and even fewer lines.

total lack of willel scenes. phew, if this wasn’t a bummer. will spoke a single line to el, and maybe one or two throwaway lines about her. if there is one thing most of the fans can agree on, it’s that will and el have the biggest connection to the upside down, the biggest unspoken connection, the most parallels, and the most intriguing potential relationship... and they really just said “fuck it” and didn’t have them interact at all. (that’s poor writing folks!) they better make up for this now that they’re living together.

amount of eleven scenes. i love her so dearly. i really do. and i’m so happy she grew into her own, not through mike or hopper. but the amount of el plot and screen time this season was actually difficult to watch. every other scene centered around her. so many characters and so much of the story went undeveloped, while she got way, way more than was necessary. additionally, take any kid’s plot (other than dustin), and guaranteed, it revolved around el. people were starting to catch on that the show was favoring her character more than even most shows’ mains.... and this season took it to a level i actual didn’t think it would.

the comedy. it was so awkwardly written. so much of it threw off the pace of the show. it seemed forced, and just... not very stranger things-esque, where the comedy was typically well-written and blended into dialogue.

the baddies. this was a huge letdown, too. i understand that the monster was large, but it was far less menacing to me than, say, the MF’s physical form. it had gore points, sure. it felt incredibly boring and predictable. in the same vein, i thought the ‘zombie’ style storyline of heather & co. would be deeper than that, but that was literally all it was. again... not interesting to me. billy was a rehash as well. the russians definitely had potential, but even that plot wound up being incredibly one-dimensional.

billy’s screentime. this was one of the things i was absolutely furious about. he got more screentime than the party (minus el) combined. they wanted for us so badly to empathize with him, to humanize him... i’m sorry, but you wrote a character that almost killed a boy for being black, that abuses his sister, and is a misogynistic asshole. abuse doesn’t excuse that, and it’s insulting to abuse survivors to say that billy inevitably became this way because of his dad, and that he deserves our uwus for it... and actually got el’s. he took screen time away from characters who desperately needed it, and that’s something i will never look at the duffers the same way for.

the scoops troop. I wanted to love erica... but i feel so indifferent to her. she was way too much this season. and robin. again, i love that she’s confirmed queer. and i dug her character more. but even then... i don’t know. i would have rather never had her introduced, and allowed established characters to have been better developed. and as a whole, the whole storyline of the troop was just what I feared: underwhelming and awkwardly placed.

high steve & robin. won’t elaborate on this too much, bc there’s not much to elaborate on. it just felt so wildly out of place and unnecessary.

that dustin/suzie number. what the hell was that? what could have been a 20 second joke was stretched out WAY too long and was bizarrely placed. just because you have an actor from broadway, doesn’t mean he needs to sing. and even if he does sing... you couldn’t have found a better time or situation? i literally was just staring at my screen in disbelief as that whole thing happened. entirely unneeded.

the amount of flashbacks. i understand most casual viewers wouldn’t remember certain things because of how long it’s been. but they literally put a recap at the beginning of the season. that’s what it’s for. and there were also plenty from like.... the episode before??? the amount they included took away so much time, that it almost just seemed like they didn’t have enough footage, and they had to fill their time stamp somehow. at some point, it just becomes insulting to the audience’s intelligence.

the overall tone. this season did not feel like stranger things in the slightest. off the top of my head, the castle byers scene and the byeler scene in mike’s garage were the exceptions. the first few episodes did have some moments. but overall... it kind of felt like some weird, high budget commercial or something. the charm, distinct aesthetic, and nuance of seasons 1 and 2 was non-existent.

the post-credit scene. there was some last-minute hype up in the reviews for this. was that supposed to be shocking in some way? i suppose this is more the fault of the reviewers who hyped it, but... really? a demodog? we’ve seen that before... i guess more the point was to show that the russians officially have some kind of technology for this. but still, an underwhelming reveal. more intriguing to me, was if hopper was the american in the cell he mentioned at the start of it. or maybe brenner?

the neutral:

that ending. on one hand, it was incredibly predictable. they literally placed an obvious shot of it in the trailer (easy to deduce that the byers had moved out, and that it was fall, so it was an epilogue scene). i was convinced that there would be a twist element they weren’t showing us, but nope. on the other hand, i thought some things were done beautifully (which wasn’t exactly a trend this season). as i mentioned, i loved the jancy moments. i really did like the hopper voiceover, although it was a little trope-y and heavy-handed... i still got a little emo, ngl. those goodbye hugs were somethin’. and, as i said before... el! moving in! with the byers! gimme

so uh... that’s it, i guess. no one really asked, but i needed to get my thoughts out. what did you guys think of the season?

[adwdwd]

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Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021

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It’s 2021. Finally. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve hopefully gotten through the wreckage of last year unscathed and are ready for a brighter future. And if you’re also a movie lover, this certainly includes a trip (or 20) back to the cinemas. Although a month into the new year, and our hope for a better tomorrow has faded a bit–especially with new COVID variants spreading. Yet there is reason to remain warily optimistic. Yes, including about theaters

For nearly a year now cinemas have remained largely dormant, and given the already shuffling 2021 film calendar, that will continue for the foreseeable future. However, studios (with one notable exception) remain mostly committed to getting new films to the theater this year, and the current 2021 film slate gives reasons to be hopeful.

Indeed, 2021 promises many of the most anticipated films from last year, plus new surprises. From the superhero variety like Black Widow to the art house with Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch, 2021 could be a much needed respite. So below is just a sampling of what to expect from the year to come…

Judas and the Black Messiah

February 12

It’s kind of hard to wrap one’s head around the annual “Oscar race” in a year when little trophies don’t seem so damn important, but Warner Bros. feels strongly enough about this movie that it’s getting it into theaters and on HBO Max right in the thick of the pandemic-delayed awards season. And judging by the marketing, it’s bringing heat with it.

Shaka King directs and co-writes the story of Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), who became the chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and was murdered in cold blood by police in 1969. LaKeith Stanfield plays William O’Neal, a petty criminal who agreed to help the FBI take Hampton down. This promises to be incendiary, relevant material — and it’s almost here.

Minari

February 12

Lee Isaac Chung directs Steven Yeun–now fully shaking off his years as Glenn on The Walking Dead–in this semi-autobiographical film about a South Korean family struggling to settle down in rural America in the 1980s. Premiering nearly a year ago at the Sundance Film Festival, where it won both the U.S. Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the U.S. Dramatic Audience Award, Minari had a quick one-week virtual release in December, with a number of critics placing it on their Top 10 lists for 2020.

Its story of immigration and assimilation currently has a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics lauding its heart, grace, and sensitivity. A few of ours also considered it among 2020’s best.

Nomadland

February 19

Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider, Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West searching for work, companionship and community. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when her town literally vanished following the closure of its sole factory.

Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) foregrounded against often stunning–if lonely–vistas of the vast, empty American countryside.

I Care a Lot

February 19

A solid cast, led by Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, Chris Messina, and Dianne Wiest, star in this satirical crime drama from director J. Blakeson (The Disappearance of Alice Creed). Pike plays Marla, a con artist whose scam is getting herself named legal guardian of her elderly marks and then draining their assets while sticking them in nursing homes. She’s ruthless and efficient at it, until she meets a woman (Wiest) whose ties to a crime boss (Dinklage) may prove too much of a challenge for the wily Marla. It was one of our favorites out of Toronto last year.

The Father

February 26

Anthony Hopkins gives a mesmerizing, and deeply tragic, performance as Anthony, an elderly British man whose descent into dementia is reflected by the film itself, which plays with time, setting, and continuity until both Anthony and the viewer can no longer tell what is real and what is not. Olivia Colman is equally moving as his daughter, who wants to get on with her own life even as she watches her father’s disintegrate in front of her.

We saw The Father last year at the AFI Fest and it ended up being a favorite of 2020; Hopkins is unforgettable in this bracing, heartbreaking work, which is stunningly adapted by first-time director Florian Zeller from his own award-winning play.

Chaos Walking

March 5

This constantly postponed sci-fi project has become one of those “we’ll believe it when we see it” films until it actually comes out. Shot nearly three and a half years ago by director Doug Liman, Chaos Walking has undergone extensive reshoots and was at one point reportedly deemed unreleasable.

Based on the book The Knife of Letting Go, it places Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Daisy Ridley (The Rise of Skywalker) on a distant planet where Ridley, the only woman, can hear the thoughts of all the men due to a mysterious force called the Noise.

Raya and the Last Dragon

March 5

Longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios head of story, Paul Briggs (Frozen), will make his directorial debut on this original Disney animated fantasy, which draws upon Eastern traditions to tell the tale of a young warrior who goes searching for the world’s last dragon in the mysterious land of Kumandra. Cassie Steele will voice Raya while Awkwafina (The Farewell) will portray Sisu the dragon.

Read more

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Disney Animation has been nearly invincible in recent years with other hits like Moana and Zootopia, so watch for this one to be another major hit for the Mouse.

Coming 2 America

March 5

The notion of whether nostalgia-based properties are still viable has cropped up repeatedly in the last few years. However, streaming, which is where Coming 2 America finds itself headed post-COVID, makes golden oldies much safer. This sequel—based on a 32-year-old comedy that was one of Eddie Murphy’s most financially successful hits—sees Murphy back as Prince Akeem, of course, along with Arsenio Hall returning as his loyal friend Semmi.

The plot revolves around Akeem’s discovery, just as he is about to be crowned king, that he has a long-lost son living in the States (we’re not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it). That, of course, necessitates another visit to our shores—that is, if Akeem and Semmi presumably don’t get stopped at the border. The film reunites Murphy with Dolemite is My Name director Craig Brewer, so perhaps they can make some cutting-edge social comedy out of this?

Godzilla vs. Kong

March 26

Here we are, at last at the big punch up between Godzilla and King Kong. They both wear a crown, but in the film that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have been building toward since 2014, only one can walk away with the title of the king of all the monsters.

Admittedly, not everyone loved the last American Godzilla movie, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but we sure did. Still, Godzilla vs. Kong should be a different animal with Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) taking over directorial duties. It also has a stacked cast with some familiar faces (Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, and Ziyi Zhang) and plenty of new ones (Alexander Skarsgård, Eiza González, Danai Gurira, Lance Reddick, and more).

It’ll probably be better than the original, right? And hey with its HBO Max rollout, questions of a poor box office run sure are conveniently mooted!

Mortal Kombat

April 16

Not to be deterred by the relative failure of Sony’s Monster Hunter in theaters at the tail end of 2020, Warner Bros. is giving this venerable video game franchise another shot at live-action cinematic glory after two previous tries in the 1990s. Director Simon McQuoid makes his feature debut while the script comes from Dave Callaham (Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and the cast includes a number of actors you’ve seen in other films but can’t quite place.

The plot? Who knows! But we’re guessing it will feature gods, demons, and warriors battling for control of the 18 realms in various fighting tournaments. What else do you want?

Black Widow

May 7

Some would charitably say it arrives a decade late, but Black Widow is finally getting her own movie. This is fairly remarkable considering she became street pizza in Avengers: Endgame, but this movie fits snugly between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. It also promises to be the most pared down Marvel Studios movie since 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and that’s a good thing.

In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff is on the run after burning her bridges with the U.S. government and UN. This brings her back to the spy games she thought she’d escaped from her youth, and back in the orbit of her “sister” Yelena (Florence Pugh). Old wounds are ripped open, old Soviet foes, including David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as Nat and Yelena’s girlhood instructor, are revealed, and many a fight sequence with minimal CGI will be executed.

How’s that for a real start to Phase 4? Of course that’s still assuming this comes out before The Eternals after it was delayed, again, due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Those Who Wish Me Dead

May 14

Taylor Sheridan is among the best writers in moviemaking right now. Having all but cornered the niche around modern Westerns, he’s responsible for the scripts for Hell or High Water, both Sicarios, and Wind River, the latter of which he also directed. He’s back in the director’s chair again for Those Who Wish Me Dead, which has been described as a “female-driven neo-Western” set in the Montana wilderness. It is there a teenager witnesses a murder, and he finds himself on the run from twin assassins, and in need of protection from a likely paranoid survivalist. The film stars Angelina Jolie, Jon Bernthal, Nicholas Hoult, Tyler Perry, Aidan Gillen, Jake Weber, and Finn Little.

Spiral

May 21

Chris Rock has co-written the story for a new take on the Saw franchise. Never thought we’d write those words! The fact that it also stars Rock, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, is likewise head-turning. It looks like they’re going for legitimate horror with Darren Lynn Bousman attached to direct after helming three of the Saw sequels, and its grisly pre-COVID trailer from last year.

Hopefully this will be better than most of the franchise that came before, and given the heavily David Fincher-influenced tone of the first trailer, we’re willing to cross our fingers and play this game.

Free Guy

May 21

What would you do if you discovered that you were just a background character in an open world video game—and that the game was soon about to go offline? That’s the premise of this existential sci-fi comedy from director Shawn Levy, best known for the Night at the Museum series and as an executive producer and director on Stranger Things. Ryan Reynolds stars as Guy, a bank teller who discovers that his life is not what he thought it was, and in fact isn’t even real—or is it? We’ve seen a preview of footage, so we’d suggest you think Truman Show, if Truman was trapped in Grand Theft Auto.

F9

May 28

Just when you thought this never-say-die franchise had shown us everything it could possibly dream up, it ups the stakes one more time: the ninth entry in the Fast and Furious saga (excluding 2019’s Hobbs and Shaw) will reportedly take Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his cohorts into space as they battle Dom’s long-lost brother Jakob (John Cena, making a long-overdue debut in this series). Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Helen Mirren, and Charlize Theron all also return, as does director Justin Lin, who took a two-film break from his signature series. Expect to see the required physics-defying stunts, logic-defying action and even more talk about “family” than usual.

Cruella

May 28

Since Disney has already made an animated 101 Dalmatians in 1961 and a live-action remake in 1996, it is apparently time to tell the story again Maleficent-style. Hence we now focus on the viewpoint of iconic villainess Cruella de Vil, played this time by Emma Stone. She’s joined in the movie by Emma Thompson, Paul Walter Hauser, and Mark Strong, with direction handled by Craig Gillespie (sort of a step down from 2017’s I, Tonya, if you ask us).

The story has been updated to the 1970s, but Cruella–now a fashion designer–still covets the fur of dogs for her creations. This is a Mouse House joint, so don’t expect it to get too dark, and don’t be completely surprised if it ends up as a premium on Disney+ in lieu of its already delayed theatrical release.

Infinite

May 28

This sci-fi yarn from director Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) stars Mark Wahlberg as a man experiencing what he thinks are hallucinations, but which turn out to be memories from past lives. He soon learns that there is a secret society of people just like him, except that they have total recall of their past identities and have acted to change the course of history throughout the centuries.

Based on the novel The Reincarnationist Papers by D. Eric Maikranz, this was originally a post-Marvel vehicle for Chris Evans. He dropped out, and the combination of Fuqua and Wahlberg hints at something more action-oriented than the rather cerebral premise suggests. The film also stars Sophie Cookson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Dylan O’Brien.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

June 4

James Wan is already directing a new horror film this year so he’s stepping away from the directorial duties on the third film based on the paranormal investigations of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga). That task has fallen to Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona), so expect plenty of the same Wan Universe touches: heavy atmosphere, superb use of sound, and shocking, eerie visuals.

Details are scarce, but the plot—like the other two Conjuring films—is taken from the true-life case of a man who went on trial for murder and said as his defense that he was possessed by a demon when he committed his crimes. That’s all we know for now, except that, intriguingly, Mitchell Hoog and Megan Ashley Brown have been cast as younger versions of the Warrens.

In the Heights

June 18

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway hit musical gets the big screen treatment (by way of HBO Max) from director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians). Set in Washington Heights over the course of a three-day heat wave, the plot and ensemble cast carry echoes of both Rent and Do the Right Thing. While a success on the stage—if not quite the cultural phenomenon that Miranda’s next show, Hamilton—it remains to be seen whether In the Heights can strike a chord with streaming audiences.

Luca

June 18

Continuing its current run of all-new, non-sequel original films started in 2020 with Onward and Soul, Pixar will unveil Luca this summer. Directed by Enrico Casarosa–making his feature debut after 18 years with the animation powerhouse–the film tells the story of a friendship between a human being and a sea monster (disguised as another human child) on the Italian Riviera. That’s about all we have on it for now, except that the cast includes Drake Bell and John Ratzenberger.

Pixar’s recent track record has included masterpieces like Inside Out, solid sequels like Toy Story 4, and shakier propositions like The Incredibles 2, but we don’t have any indication yet of what to expect from Luca.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

June 25

Can anyone honestly say that 2018’s Venom was a “good” movie? A batshit insane movie, yes, and perhaps even an entertaining one in its own nutty way, but good or not, it made nearly a billion bucks at the box office so here we are.

Tom Hardy will return to peel more scenery down with his teeth as both Eddie Brock and his fanged, towering alien symbiote while Woody Harrelson will fulfill his destiny and play Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage, the perfected hybrid of psychopathic serial killer and red pile of vicious alien goo. Let the carnage begin!

Top Gun: Maverick

July 2

It’s been 34 years since Tom Cruise first soared through the skies as hotshot pilot Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and he’ll take to the air once more in a sequel that also features Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, Jon Hamm, and more. The flying and action sequences from director Joseph Kosinski (who worked with Cruise on Oblivion) will undoubtedly be first-rate, but the studio (Paramount) has to be nervous after seeing one nostalgia-based franchise after another (Blade Runner, Charlie’s Angels, Terminator, The Shining) crash and burn recently.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

July 10

With Shang-Chi, Marvel Studios hopes to do for Asian culture what the company did with the groundbreaking Black Panther nearly three years ago: create another superhero epic with a non-white lead and a mythology steeped in a non-Western culture. Simu Liu stars in the title role as the “master of kung fu,” who must do battle with the nefarious Ten Rings organization and its leader, the Mandarin (the “real” one, not the imposter from Iron Man 3, played here by the legendary Tony Leung). Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy) will open up a whole new corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with this story and character, whose origins stretch back to 1973.

The Forever Purge

July 9

One day nearly eight years ago, you went to see a low-budget dystopian sci-fi/horror flick called The Purge, and the next thing you know, it’s 2021 and you’re getting ready to see the fifth and allegedly final entry in the series (which has also spawned a TV show). Written by creator James DeMonaco and directed by Everardo Gout, the film will once again focus on the title event, an annual 12-hour national bacchanal in which all crime, even murder, is legal. How this ends the story, and where and when it falls into the context of the rest of the films, remains a secret for now. Filming was completed back in February 2020, with the film’s release delayed from last summer by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Space Jam: A New Legacy

July 16

There are two types of folks when it comes to the original Space Jam of 1996: those who were between the ages of three and 11 when it came out, and everyone else. In one camp it is an unsightly relic of ‘90s cross-promotional cheese; in the other, it’s a sports movie classic. Luckily for kids today, NBA star LeBron James was 11 for most of ’96, and he’s bringing back the hoops and the Looney Tunes in Space Jam: A New Legacy.

The film will be among the many Warner Bros. pics premieres on HBO Max and in theaters this year, and it will see King James share above-the-title credits with Bugs Bunny. All is as it should be.

The Tomorrow War

July 23

An original IP attempting to be a summer blockbuster? As we live and breathe. The Tomorrow War marks director Chris McKay’s first foray into live-action after helming The Lego Batman Movie. The film stars Chris Pratt as a soldier from the past who’s been “drafted by scientists” to the present in order to fight off an alien invasion overwhelming our future’s military. One might ask why said scientists didn’t use their fancy-schmancy time traveling shenanigans to warn about the impending aliens, but here we are.

Jungle Cruise

July 30

Disney dips into its theme park rides again as a source for a movie, hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean lightning will strike once more. This time it’s the famous Adventureland riverboat ride, which is free enough of a real narrative that one has to wonder why some five screenwriters (at least) worked on the movie’s script.

Jaume Collet-Serra (The Shallows) directs stars Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt down this particular river, as they battle wild animals and a competing expedition in their search for a tree with miraculous healing powers. The comic chemistry between Johnson and Blunt is key here, especially if they really can mimic Bogie and Hepburn in the similarly plotted The African Queen. If they can sell that, Disney might just have a new water-based franchise to replace their sinking Pirates ship.

The Green Knight

July 30

David Lowery, the singular director behind A Ghost Story and The Old Man & the Gun, helmed a fantasy adaptation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. And his take on the material was apparently strong enough to entice A24 to produce it. Not much else is yet known about the film other than its cast, which includes Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie–and that it’s another casualty of COVID, with its 2020 release date being delayed last year. So this is one we’re definitely going to keep an eye on.

The Suicide Squad

August 6

Arguably the most high-profile of the WB films being transitioned to HBO Max, The Suicide Squad is James Gunn’s soft-reboot of the previous one-film franchise. It’s kind of funny WB went in that direction when the first movie generated more than $740 million, but when the reviews and word of mouth were that toxic… well, you get the guy who did Guardians of the Galaxy to fix things.

Read more

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Elements from the original movie are still here, most notably Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller, but the film promises to be weirder, meaner, and also sillier. The first points are proven by its expected R-rating, and the latter is underscored by its giant talking Great White Shark. Okay, we’ll bite.

Deep Water

August 13

Seedy erotic thrillers and neo noirs bathed in shadows and sex are largely considered a thing of the past—specifically 1980s and ‘90s Hollywood cinema. Maybe that’s why Deep Water hooked Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) to direct. The throwback is based on a 1957 novel by the legendary Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and it pits a disenchanted married couple against each other, with the bored pair playing mind games that leave friends and acquaintances dead. That the couple in question is played by Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, who’ve since become a real life item, will probably get plenty of attention close to release.

Respect

August 13

Respect is the long-awaited biopic of the legendary Aretha Franklin, with the Queen of Soul herself involved in its development for years until her death in August 2018. Authorized biopics always make one wonder how accurate the film will be, but then again, Aretha had nothing to be ashamed of. Hers was a life well-lived, her voice almost beyond human comprehension, and the only thing now is to see whether star Jennifer Hudson (Franklin’s personal choice) and director Liesl Tommy (making her feature debut) can do the Queen justice.

The King’s Man

August 20

This might be a weird thing to say: but has World War I ever seemed so stylish? It is with Matthew Vaughn at the helm.

An origin story of sorts for the organization that gave us Colin Firth and the umbrella, The King’s Man is a father and son yarn where Ralph Fiennes’ Duke of Oxford is reluctant about his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) joining the war effort. But they’ll both be up to it as the Duke launches an intelligence gathering agency independent from any government. It also includes Gemma Arterton, Matthew Goode, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as charter members.

Oh, and did we mention they fight Rasputin?

Candyman

August 27

In some ways it’s surprising that it’s taken this long—28 years, notwithstanding a couple of sequels—to seriously revisit the original Candyman. Director Bernard Rose’s original adaptation of the Clive Baker story, “The Forbidden,” is still relevant and effective today. Back then, the film touched on urban legends, poverty, and segregation: themes that are still ripe for exploration through a genre touchstone today.

After her breathtaking feature directorial debut, Little Woods, Nia DaCosta helmed this bloody reboot while working from a screenplay co-written by Jordan Peele (Get Out). That’s a powerful combination, even before news came down DaCosta was helming Captain Marvel 2. And with an actor on-the-cusp of mega-stardom, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, picking up Tony Todd’s gnarly hook, this is one to watch out for.

The Beatles: Get Back

August 27

Peter Jackson seems to enjoy making films about what inspired him in his youth: The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, his grandfather’s World War I service informing They Shall Not Grow Old. So perhaps it was inevitable he’d make a film about the greatest youth icon of his generation, the Beatles. In truth, The Beatles: Get Back is a challenge to a previous documentary named Let It Be, and the general pop culture image it painted.

That 1970 doc by Michael Lindsay-Hogg zeroed in on the band’s final released album, Let It Be (although it was recorded before Abbey Road). Now, using previously unseen footage, Jackson seeks to challenge the narrative that the album was created entirely from a place of animosity among the bandmates, or that the Beatles had long lost their camaraderie by the end of road. Embracing the original title of the album, “Get Back,” Jackson wants to get back to where he thinks the band’s image once belonged.

Resident Evil

September 3

Let’s try that again. As one of the most popular video game franchises of all-time, the original handful of Resident Evil games appeared ready made for adaptation. Visibly inspired by cult classic zombie movies from George Romero, Resident Evil once even had Romero attached. Instead we got the deafeningly dull Paul W.S. Anderson franchise starring Milla Jovovich. And those decade-spanning monstrosities lacked something any self-respecting zombie film needs: brains.

Now Resident Evil is back in a reboot helmed by writer-director Johannes Roberts. And he’s off to a promising start by apparently focusing on the plots of the first several video games in the series. The cast includes Hannah John-Kamen as Jill Valentine, Robbie Amell as Chris Redfield, Kaya Scodelario as Claire Redfield, Avan Jogia as Leon S. Kennedy, and Tom Hopper as Albert Wesker. So far so good. Fingers crossed.

A Quiet Place Part II

September 17

The sequel to one of 2018’s biggest surprises, A Quiet Place Part II comes with major expectations. And few may hold it to a higher standard than writer-director John Krasinski. Despite (spoiler) the death of his character in the first film, Krasinski returns behind the camera for the sequel after saying he wouldn’t. The story he came up with apparently was too good to pass up.

The film again stars Emily Blunt as the often silenced mother of a vulnerable family, which includes son Marcus (Noah Jupe) and deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). However, now that they know how to kill the eagle-eared alien monsters who’ve taken over their planet, the cast has grown to include Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou. While the film has been delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak, trust us that it’ll be worth the wait. Is it finally time for… resistance?

Death on the Nile

September 17

Murder on the Orient Express (2017) became a surprise hit for director and star Kenneth Branagh. Who knew that audiences would still be interested in an 83-year-old mystery novel about an eccentric Belgian detective with one hell of a mustache? Luckily, Agatha Christie featured Poirot in some 32 other novels, of which Death on the Nile is one of the most famous, so here we are.

Branagh once again directs and stars as Poirot, this time investigating a murder aboard a steamer sailing down Egypt’s famous river. The cast includes Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Tom Bateman, Ali Fazal, Annette Bening, Rose Leslie, and Russell Brand. Expect more lavish locales, scandalous revelations, the firing of a pistol or two, and, yes, more shots of that stunning Poirot facial hair.

The Many Saints of Newark

September 24

The idea of a prequel to anything always fills us with trepidation, and re-opening a nearly perfect property like The Sopranos makes the prospect even less appetizing. But Sopranos creator David Chase has apparently wanted to explore the back history of his iconic crime family for some time, and there certainly seems to be a rich tapestry of characters and events that have only been hinted at in the series.

Directed by series veteran Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World), The Many Saints of Newark stars Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti (Christopher’s father), along with Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Corey Stoll, Ray Liotta, and others. But the most fascinating casting is that of Michael Gandolfini—James’ son—as the younger version of the character with which his late dad made pop culture history. For that alone, we’ll be there on opening night… even if that just means HBO Max!

Dune

October 1

Could third time be the charm for Frank Herbert’s complex novel of the far future, long acknowledged as one of the greatest—if most difficult to read—milestones in all of science fiction? David Lynch’s 1984 version was, to be charitable, an honorable mess, while the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel miniseries was decent and faithful, but limited in scope. Now director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) is pulling out all the stops—even breaking the story into two movies to give the proper space.

Read more

Movies

Dune Trailer Breakdown and Analysis

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

What Alejandro Jodorowsky Thinks of the New Dune Trailer

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

On the surface, the plot is simple: as galactic powers vie for control of the only planet that produces a substance capable of allowing interstellar flight, a young messiah emerges to lead that planet’s people to freedom. But this tale is dense with multiple layers of politics, metaphysics, mysticism, and hard science.

Villeneuve has assembled a jaw-dropping cast, including Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, and Javier Bardem, and if he pulls this off, just hand him every sci-fi novel ever written. Particularly, if relations between the director and WB remain strained…

No Time to Die

October 8

Nothing lasts forever, and the Daniel Craig era of James Bond is coming to an end… hopefully in 2021. In fact, delays notwithstanding, it’s a bit of a surprise Craig is getting an official swan song with this movie after the star said he’d rather “slash his wrists” before doing another one. Well, we’re glad he didn’t, just as we’re hopeful for his final installment in the tuxedo.

Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is a newcomer to the franchise, but that might be a good thing after how tired Spectre felt, and Fukunaga has done sterling work in the past on True Detective and Maniac. He also looks to bring the curtain down on the whole Craig oeuvre by picking up on the last movie’s lingering threads, such as 007 driving off into the sunset with Léa Seydoux’s Madeleine Swann, while introducing new ones that include Rami Malek as Bond villain Safin and Ana de Armas as new Bond girl Paloma. Yay for the Knives Out reunion!

Halloween Kills

October 15

2018’s outstanding reboot of the long-running horror franchise—which saw David Gordon Green (Stronger) direct Jamie Lee Curtis in a reprise of her most famous role—was a tremendous hit. So in classic Halloween fashion, two more sequels were put into production (the second, Halloween Ends, will be out in 2022… hopefully).

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Movies

Halloween: A Legacy Unmasked

By David Crow

Movies

How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher

Curtis is back as Laurie Strode, along with Judy Greer as her daughter, Andi Matichak as her granddaughter, and Nick Castle sharing Michael Myers duties with James Jude Courtney. Kyle Richards and Charles Cyphers, meanwhile, will reprise their roles as Lindsey Wallace and former sheriff Leigh Brackett from the original 1978 Halloween (Anthony Michael Hall will play the adult version of Tommy Doyle). The plot remains a mystery, but we’re pretty sure it will involve yet another confrontation between Laurie and a rampaging Myers.

The Last Duel

October 15

What was once among the most anticipated films of 2020, The Last Duel is the historical epic prestige project marked by reunions: Ridley Scott returns to his passion for period drama and violence; Matt Damon and Ben Affleck work together for the first time in ages as both actors and writers; and the film also unites each with themes that were just as potent in the medieval world as today: One knight (Damon) in King Charles VI’s court accuses another who’s his best friend (Adam Driver) of raping his wife (Jodie Comer). Oh, and Affleck plays the King of France.

With obviously harrowing—and uncomfortable—themes that resonate today, The Last Duel is based on an actual trial by combat from the 14th century, and is a film Affleck and Damon co-wrote with Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?). It’s strong material, and could prove to be one of the year’s most riveting or misjudged films. Until then, it has our full attention.

Last Night in Soho

October 22

Fresh off the success of 2017’s Baby Driver (his biggest commercial hit to date), iconoclastic British director Edgar Wright returns with what is described as a psychological and possibly time-bending horror thriller set in London. Whether this features Wright’s trademark self-aware humor remains to be seen, but since the film is said to be inspired by dread-inducing genre classics like Repulsion and Don’t Look Now, he might be going for a different effect this time.

The cast, of course, is outstanding: upstarts Anya Taylor-Joy (Queen’s Gambit) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit) will face off with Matt Smith (Doctor Who), and British legends Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. And the truth is we’re never going to miss one of Wright’s movies. Taylor-Joy talked to us here about finding her 1960s lounge singer voice for the film.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

October 22

While the idea of a Hasbro Movie Universe seems to be kind of idling at the moment, corners of that hypothetical cinematic empire remain active. One such brand is G.I. Joe, which will launch its first spin-off in this origin story of one of the team’s most popular characters. Much of his early background remains mysterious, so there’s room to create a fairly original story while incorporating lore and characters already established in the G.I. Joe mythos.

Neither of the previous G.I. Joe features (The Rise of Cobra and Retaliation) have been much good, so we can probably expect the same level of quality from this one. Director Robert Schwentke (the last two Divergent movies) doesn’t inspire much excitement either. On the other hand, Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) will star in the title role, and having Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) on board isn’t too bad either.

Antlers

October 29

Dramatic director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Hostiles) is doing a horror movie. As we live and breathe. And he’s doing it with a huge boost of confidence from Guillermo del Toro, who has opted to produce the movie. Antlers is the tale of two adult brothers, one a teacher and the other a sheriff, getting wrapped up in a supernatural quagmire that involves a young student and a “dangerous secret.” And with a cast that includes Jesse Plemons, Keri Russell, and Graham Greene, we are very intrigued… even if we must wait once again due to a coronavirus delay.

Eternals

November 5

Based on a Marvel Comics series by the legendary Jack Kirby, the now long-forthcoming Eternals centers around an ancient race of powerful beings who must protect the Earth against their destructive counterparts (and genetic cousins), the Deviants. Director Chloe Zhao (fresh off the awards season buzzy Nomadland) takes her first swing at epic studio filmmaking, working with a cast that includes Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Richard Madden, Brian Tyree Henry, and more.

Read more

Movies

Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Movies

The Incredible Hulk’s Diminished Legacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Gavin Jasper

In many ways, Eternals represents another huge creative risk for Marvel Studios: It’s a big, cosmic ensemble film introducing an ensemble that the vast majority of the public has never heard of. But then, it’s sort of in the same position as Guardians of the Galaxy from way back in 2014, and we all know what happened there.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

November 11

With the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot criticized (fairly) for its lack of imagination and castigated (unfairly as hell) for its all-female ghost-hunting crew, director Jason Reitman–finally cashing in on the family name by returning to the brand his dad Ivan directed to glory in 1984–has crafted a direct sequel to the original films.

Set 30 years later, Afterlife follows a family who move to a small town only to discover that they have a long-secret connection to the OG Ghostbusters. Carrie Coon (The Leftovers), Finn Wolfhard (Stranger Things) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) star alongside charter cast members Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and, yes, Bill Murray.

King Richard

November 19

Will Smith’s King Richard promises to be a different kind of biographical film coming down the pipe. Rather than being told from the vantage of professional tennis playing stars Venus and Serena Williams, King Richard centers on their father and coach, Richard Williams. It’s an interesting choice to focus on the male father instead of the game-changing Black daughters, but we’ll see if there’s a strong creative reason for the approach soon enough. The film is directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell).

Mission: Impossible 7

November 19

Once upon a time, the appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies was to see different directors offer their own take on Tom Cruise running through death-defying stunts. But then Christopher McQuarrie had to come along and make the best one in franchise history (twice). First there was Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and then Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now McQuarrie and company have set up their own separate quartet of films with recurring original characters like new franchise MVP Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) across four films.

Read more

Movies

Audio Surfaces of Tom Cruise Raging on the Set of Mission: Impossible 7

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

Mission: Impossible 7 – What’s Next for the Franchise?

By David Crow

Thus enters M:I7, the third McQuarrie joint in the series and first half of a pair of incoming sequels filmed together. The first-half of this two-parter sees the whole crew back together, including Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, Ilsa, Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and CIA Director Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett). They’re also being joined by Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff, but really we’re all just eager to see what kind of insane stunts they can do to top the HALO jump in the last one.

Nightmare Alley

December 3

Director Guillermo del Toro is finally back with a film which was originally intended for release in 2020. But like so many others, Nightmare Alley saw its production frozen due to the coronavirus. Del Toro’s first film since winning the Best Picture Oscar for The Shape of Water, Nightmare adapts William Lindsay Gresham’s novel of the same name. With a script by Kim Morgan and del Toro, it tracks a mid-20th century carny played by Bradley Cooper who is also a silver-tongued grifter. But his con meets its match (and is then outclassed) by his chance encounter with a psychiatrist (Cate Blanchett). They’ll make a hell of a team.

West Side Story

December 10

Steven Spielberg has just two remakes on his directorial resume: Always (1989) and War of the Worlds (2005). While the former is mostly forgotten and the latter was an adaptation of a story that has been filmed many times, his upcoming reimagining of West Side Story will undoubtedly be directly compared to Robert Wise’s iconic 1961 screen version of this classic musical.

A few numbers in previous films aside, Spielberg has never directed a full-blown musical before, let alone one associated with such powerhouse songs and dance numbers. His version, with a script by Tony Kushner, is said to stay closer to the original Broadway show than the 1961 film—but with its themes of love struggling to cross divides created by hate and bigotry, don’t be surprised if it’s just as hard-hitting in 2021. Certainly would’ve devastated last year….

Spider-Man 3

December 17

Sony has finally gotten to a “Spider-Man 3” again in their oft-rebooted franchise crown jewel (technically though this film is still untitled). That proved to be a stumbling block the first time it occurred with Tobey Maguire in the red and blues, but the company seems undaunted since Tom Holland’s third outing is expected to bring Maguire back—him and just about everyone else too.

Read more

Movies

Spider-Man 3: Charlie Cox Daredevil Return Would Redeem the Marvel Netflix Universe

By Joseph Baxter

Movies

Spider-Man 3 Adds Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange

By Joseph Baxter

With a multiverse plot ripped straight from the arguably best Spidey movie ever, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, Holland’s third outing is bringing back Maguire, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Foxx as Electro (eh), and probably more. It’s a Spidey crossover extravaganza that’s only missing a Spider-Ham. But just you wait…

The Matrix 4

December 22

Rebooting or continuing The Matrix series has always been a tough proposition. While the original Matrix film is one of the landmark achievements in science fiction and early digital effects filmmaking in the 1990s, its sequels were… less celebrated. In fact, directors Lily and Lana Wachowski were publicly wary about the idea of ever going back to the series. And yet, here we are with Lana (alone) helming a project that’s been a longtime priority for Warner Bros.

Read more

Movies

The Matrix 4: Laurence Fishburne “Wasn’t Invited” to Reprise Morpheus Role

By John Saavedra

Movies

The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online

By John Saavedra

The Matrix 4 also brings back Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Jada Pinkett Smith. This is curious since Reeves and Moss’ characters died at the end of the Matrix trilogy—and also because Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus did not, yet he wasn’t asked back. We cannot say we’re thrilled about the prospect of more adventures in Zion after the disappointment of the first two sequels, but we’d be lying if we didn’t admit we’re still curious to see the story that brought Lana back to this future.

The French Dispatch

TBA

Wes Anderson has a new film coming out. Better still, it is another live-action film. While Anderson’s use of animation is singular, it’s been seven years since The Grand Budapest Hotel, which we maintain is one of the best movies of the last decade. Anderson  is working with Timothée Chalamet and Cristoph Waltz for the first time with this film, as well as several familiar faces including Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Tilda Swinton, Léa Seydoux, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and, of course, Bill Murray.

The French Dispatch is set deep in the 20th century during the peak of modern journalism, it brings to life a series of fictional stories in a fictional magazine, published in a fictional French city. We suspect though, if Anderson’s last two live-action movies are any indication, it’ll have more than fiction on its mind–especially since it’s inspired by actual New Yorker stories, and the journalists who wrote them! We missed it in 2020, so here’s hoping it really does go to print in 2021!

Other interesting movies that may come out in 2021 but do not yet have release dates: Next Goal Wins, Don’t Worry Darling, Blonde, The Northman, Resident Evil, Red Notice, Army of the Dead.

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The post Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[imagineclaireandjamie]

After this last episode with the making the 'batsuit' scene you should totally do a story about the first time Claire made some sort of costume for Bree

For the first time in my life, I cursed my juvenile disinterest in sewing. As a child, I’d mended clothes out of sheer necessity, the rigor of constant travel taking its toll on my shirts and trousers. I had cared little for skill back then, regarding the whole affair as a tedious chore that kept me from more important duties—namely, dusting off bones for Lamb.

As an adult, I was a surgeon, but even that seemed to do me no favors. Despite my professional expertise—how many wounds had I stitched with far sharper tools on far more delicate materials? —it seemed I still couldn’t manage a bloody Halloween costume. In previous years, I’d simply bought one or asked Millie, our neighbor, for a helping hand at the cost of a bottle of wine.

My break from tradition was inspired by a recent conversation, whereupon it was revealed—to the horror of several Betty Crocker types—I had no plans to slave over a Singer for the sake of my daughter’s trick-or-treating.

“Oh, but you must,” one woman had said.

“Your child would so appreciate it,” another had chimed in.

“She’ll be the only one whose mother didn’t make her costume.”

I’d rather thought Bree wouldn’t notice either way, she being the sort who’d drape a sheet over her head, stare through two circular cut-outs, and cry “Boo!” as if she were the most convincing ghost in the world. But the women’s scornful expressions had stayed with me, stirring up feelings I hadn’t felt since I’d arrived in America: a nagging self-consciousness; a desperate need to prove myself.

Bree was ecstatic when I informed her that I, not Millie, would be making her costume this Halloween, and what was it she’d like to be? Frank’s incessant prattling about the monarchy had clearly made an impression. Of all things, Bree had chosen Queen Elizabeth II, who’d been crowned the year before.

If I’d known how complicated it would be, I might have scrapped the project altogether and thrust expensive merlot in Millie’s face. Being without such hindsight, I now had a half-constructed dress that looked more like a war casualty than a royal ballgown.

“You sodding bastard,” I barked at the sewing machine.

My daughter, sitting not five feet away, looked up from her book with a delighted smirk. I groaned, already envisioning the moment Frank would walk through the door, greeted by an oral report of the day’s linguistic infractions (most of them mine). Though Bree shared her biological father’s penchant for mischief, she’d adopted the English reserve of the man who raised her. With frequent lapses, of course—she, after all, was my child too.

“Mama,” she tsked now, “you know what that means…” Smiling, she pointed towards the table beneath the window, which sat littered with the odds and ends of our daily life. The dried stems of pressed flowers sprouted from a medical textbook. A dog toy, practically chewed into oblivion, sat beside Frank’s corn cob pipe—a habit he’d taken up as a way of ingratiating himself to Harvard’s social circles. At the center of it all, however, stood the glass jar whose cheery label, “SWEAR BANK,” had become the bane of my existence.

Two weeks ago, Frank and I had been called to Bree’s school on the grounds of discussing a recent misbehavior. Our daughter, it seemed, had a fondness for words that were unsuitable to a woman of 35, much less a girl of 6. The principal’s meaningful looks had plainly indicated he knew where—or from whom—Brianna had received her vocabulary lessons.

“Children, you know,” he’d said, leaning forwards. “They don’t just learn these things by themselves. I think some disciplinary action could be taken at home…”

And so it was by Principal Gellar’s suggestion that we—the Randalls of ill repute—came to use a swear jar. For every curse, the delinquent had to add two quarters, with each subsequent offense requiring double that amount. A mild punishment, I’d thought, until it was obvious that losing pocket change wasn’t sufficient inducement to watch my own mouth.

Because of this, it was agreed that I prepare a proper dinner—from scratch, not frozen—if I exceeded my daily max of five swear words. Frank promised to exchange his loose leaf tea for Lipton’s, should he do the same, though this was more a demonstration of his superiority than his solidarity. Unless provoked, he rarely said more than the occasional “damn” in Bree’s presence.

Rummaging through the purse at my feet, I extracted money from my wallet.

“There,” I said, giving it to Bree. “Happy?”

Bills in one hand, Bree counted her fingers on the other, “That’s six today, Mama,” she said, still smirking. “So what’s for dinner?”

I snorted and motioned her towards me. “Well, if you want this costume finished, I’ll have to take a rain check.” I looked at the chaos strewn about my work table. “A two-week rain check.”

“I guess that’s okay,” Bree said, skipping over to my side. “Daddy and I will have meatloaf tonight, and you can have soap.”

I laughed. It always baffled me how my child—once a gurgling thing with an untamable cowlick—had transformed into a human capable of swear words and jokes.

As they always did when Bree came close, one of her hands automatically rested on my head, tiny fingers submerging themselves in a tousle of curls. They found the tender patch behind my ears, beginning an idle massage that expelled all tension from my body.

She’d done this as a baby—then, with a naïve curiosity; now, by the simple force of habit. It reminded me of someone else, though I knew it was merely coincidence and not some genetic trait passed down through the centuries. Still, the small fingers always grew larger in my mind—pads turned to callous and nails made blunt—as they moved in slow, gentle circles towards my temples. I could hear Gaelic, spoken softly, and see a calmness wash over a startled horse, as it now washed over me.

I shook the memory away, and returned to the disaster cascading into my lap.

Really, there was no hope for it. Uneven hems. Too-large and crooked stitches. The circumference of one shirtsleeve would fit someone’s thigh, not Bree’s skinny arm.

“Smudge,” I sighed, “perhaps this wasn’t a good idea. I mean—” I gestured at the clumsy mess before me, and Bree removed her hand.

She leaned closer, head tilted to examine the work I’d done until her expression turned into one of obvious resolve. “I could always be a hobo,” she said matter-of-factly. “Or a garbage man.”

In that moment, I swear I had never loved her more.

Clearly unconcerned, Bree flopped down on the couch, and asked, “What’d you dress up as when you were a kid, Mama?”

“Come to think of it, I can only remember one Halloween,” I said, sitting back. “I was a little older than you, and my outfit was a hodge-podge of things. Somewhere between Indiana Jones and a girl who raided a closet, blindfolded.”

As a vagabond who drifted from continent and continent, Halloween never seemed to cross Lamb’s mind. A brief lecture, perhaps, about its pagan origins—but there was none of the pomp and circumstance one would see today. Being only vaguely aware of the holiday’s existence myself, I had never found us lacking for it. Our days were already filled with adventures, strange characters, and the spirits of years past.

It was one of Lamb’s colleagues—a charismatic American named Tom—who put forth the notion we hold a celebration of our own. Even I, who by this time was more adult than child, couldn’t resist the idea of being someone else, swapping ghost stories under a full moon, and gorging myself on sweets.

Lamb, bless his soul, was more than happy to oblige me. It was a belated birthday present of sorts, as October 20th, 1926 had passed in whirlwind of sand and dirt. The more immediate concerns of suffocation and hazardous winds had taken precedence over cake and candles that day.

Lamb and Tom took me to the market one morning, each of us bouncing from stall to stall to inspect the wares. After hours of browsing, we’d managed to scrape together a rudimentary costume, though it had none of the frills, silks, or skirts Tom had assumed I’d want.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be a princess?” he’d said, regarding me sideways. At the insistent (and fiftieth) shake of my head, Lamb had clapped Tom on the back with a jovial smile, reminding him that I was a girl who preferred slouch hats to tiaras. I recall grinning up at him, then, and taking his hand as we walked back to camp. In truth, I think I’d just wanted to be Lamb for a night.

And so there I was days later: a poor man’s cowgirl astride an invisible horse, galloping through the nearby village in search of treats. Naturally, few people were prepared for the presence of my wild-eyed, boyish self at their door. But most smiled at my requests—all spoken with a pitiful Southern twang—and indulged me with whatever they could spare. Lamb, meanwhile, stood at my side—an elderly pirate-guard who assured them we were not, in fact, bandits.

We returned to camp at sundown with a sack full of furry, odorous, and glittering miscellany slung across my shoulder. Against all sense, someone had given me a pack of cigars, and I placed one between my lips. Knees braced and arranging my hands into a finger gun, I did my best Butch Cassidy impression as Lamb inspected the bag for other inappropriate goods.

“That stuff ain’t yours, old man,” I’d said, words mumbled by the cigar. “Stick ‘em up.”

Lamb had hooted, crying, “Excellent, my dear! Just marvelous!” and took a seat across the fire. His head bent before a lit match, the flame lighting the end of one of the contraband cigars.

What I remember most, though, was his face when he looked up at me. My cheeks were flushed beneath a layer of grime. My too-long pants were pooled around my feet, while my dark hair was pulled into a bushy ponytail. I imagine I’d been the image of freedom and recklessness—a person who appreciated the simplest of joys, like dress-up and too much sugar.

“You’ve always favored your mother, Claire. But I daresay that right now…” And here, Lamb’s eyes had shimmered, his expression grown suddenly soft. “Right now I see so much of your father in you.”

“Mama?” A voice broke through the haze of my memory. “Mama, were you listening to me?”

“Hmm?” I said distractedly, slowly returning to the present. Shaking her head, Bree said, “Maybe next year I could be a cowgirl too?” before launching onto an entirely different topic.

Seeing my daughter chatting confidently away, her hands fluttering with the excitement of conversation, of being with someone…Seeing her hair catch the sinking sun and the mischief inside her curving mouth—a mouth that would never cease to amaze me with its jokes and its compliments and its observations. Seeing these things, and how her slanted blue eyes took in her shabby costume—unbothered by its inelegance but appreciative of the work I’d put into it—I thought I saw so much of her father in her too.

[swissnavy]

The Lube Diaries 

9 Women Get Real About Lube

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @UNBOUNDBABES

Many of us overlook lube as a factor in the sexual equation, whether it’s during a masturbating sesh or sex with a partner/s. There is still a sense of shame, particularly among women, when it comes to lube. Lots of us are afraid of being labeled as sexually deficient or simply “not into it” if we need or want to use lube during sex.

This fear is super fucking real, too, and it’s a result of lube-shaming. According to sex and relationship expert Dr. Jess O’Reilly, "lube-shaming erroneously suggests that if a woman is turned on, she'll get wet. But vaginal lubrication is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and is beyond our conscious control.” Basically, you can be super turned on, but totally dry, and vice-versa.

Personal lubricant exists for many reasons–the first being to reduce the dryness and irritation that is so often attributed to discomfort or pain during sex (particularly penetrative sex). It can be a game-changing aid for women who suffer from vaginal dryness (17% of women aged 18-50 experience problems with vaginal dryness).

But the best part about lube is that it’s not used solely for the purpose of combating discomfort. It can literally make sex better–physically and, as a result, mentally. In a 2011 study, 2,500 women used lubricant regularly over a 5-week period. Results show that the use of a water-based or silicone-based lubricant was associated with higher ratings of sexual pleasure and satisfaction for solo sex and penile-vaginal sex!

So it’s time to reshape the lube narrative. To begin, we asked nine women of sex-related and non sex-related professions the question: “What is your relationship like with lube?”

Rachel Gelman, DPT, PT:

Lube is always a great idea. Although, the type/quality of lube matters. Ideally you want a lube without parabens, glycols, microbicides, and preservatives. Ideally you want a lube that is similar to your body's pH. A healthy, happy vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and the rectum is around 7.0, so you want a lube that matches or is a slightly higher pH than your natural environment. Lack of lubrication or vaginal dryness can contribute to or cause pain with sex. Adding lubrication may not address the underlying cause, such as a hormonal imbalance, but it can definitely help decrease the symptoms. Depending on what data you look at ~40% of women under 60 report sexual dysfunction and up to 60% of women will experience pelvic pain, I can't say what percentage is due to lack of lubrication, but if someone is having pain with sex adding in a lubricant may help and most likely won't make it worse, unless someone uses a poor quality lubricant.

I think lube should be used when engaging in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation and when using sex toys. Be mindful that if you are using condoms  (which most people should because safe sex is the best sex) to use a water-based lubricant as oil-based lubricant can degrade the latex.

I think there is a stigma around lubricant, and people think they shouldn't need it and if they do something is "wrong" with them. I always think of that scene in the movie Superbad where Jonah Hill makes fun of Michael Cera's character for having lube because the girls "are young" and won't need lube. Also, some people have had bad experiences with lube, it irritated them or they had a bad reaction to it, and again that may have been due to using a lubricant that wasn't good quality. I always recommend patients try different kinds, so I am always giving an array of samples or having patients go to Good Vibrations, where they have a large selection in sample sizes for people to try.

The World Health Organization, also has a nice chart that shows the different lubes and their pH/osmolarity.

Sloane Steel, writer:

When I was first having sex at the ripe ol' age of 15 (sorry, Mom!) I never used lube. Actually, I didn't end up using lube until well into my 20's. I thought lube was for anal sex or women who needed help producing lubrication on their own. It wasn't until I actually tried anal that I realized lube was FREAKING AMAZING.

Lube made EVERYTHING feel way better. Lube made everything feel more sensitive and I enjoyed sex SO much more once I brought my lube friends into the game. Now I consider myself a lube aficionado. I mean, I don't exactly need to buy a 55-gallon drum of it on Amazon (that exists...for what? I dunno but the reviews are incredible.) But I definitely use it almost every time I have sex because, why the hell not? I personally like sex to feel like a Slip n' Slide.

Scientwehst:

I don’t really remember a time when I thought, “if I use lube I’m sexually deficient.” In fact, I’m the lube queen [ha]. With guys, I would always suggest bringing out the coconut oil or some lotion to do a proper HJ. Lube just makes sex more enjoyable all around. No matter how wet you start off in the beginning, after a long session of intercourse, you’re bound to get dry and with dryness comes irritation. I actually dislike using spit for lube. I know, It sounds vanilla, but I just think its gross to have to hock spit every time for lubrication. Imagine a night out partying, with partying comes drinking, smoking, eating, etc. Then you head back to your house, you're ready to hook up and the guy just spits on you. Just feels bacteria ridden lol. Our mouths are dirty! Also, with clitoral stimulation, how many times do I need to spit on my fingers when I could just use a little scoop of coconut oil, one time. It smells good, it tastes good, the consistency is perfect, and it helps prevent yeast infections. What’s better than that?

Zoe, photographer:

for a long time i didn't understand why sex hurt so much for me. even when it felt "good" it didn't feel "great" and growing up i didn't have the safest experience with sex so subconsciously i think it has affected how my body works during arousal. it takes a lot for me to get wet and even when i do i'm not like a faucet dripping with cum as these rappers would say (lol.) when i first started using lube i was with my partner for awhile and it was something we both knew made everything more enjoyable not only for me but for her as well. in the beginning i did have some feelings of insecurity having to pull out a third party during sex and even now i battle stigmas within my own thoughts that come along with using lubricant, especially when sleeping with new people but for the most part i'm at a place where i don’t internalize any shame with using lube.

i think there's a lot of roadblocks when it comes to female pleasure and the ridicule of using lube is one of 'em. even if you are someone who gets really wet on your own there's no harm in exploring lubricants. some have cooling sensations, some warm it up down there, some even have thc in them (highly recommend). using lube has made me a more explorative person when it comes to my sex life because i'm always popping into local sex shops to cop some and i end up looking at other things along the way.

Elle Stanger, Podcast Host, Sex and Relationship writer:

I spent four years helping customers pick out and purchase lubricants while I worked in adult retail shops, and I recognized that many of our buyers exhibited shame or discomfort around their purchase. I've even heard women exclaim, "I don't NEED that", as if wanting if the purchase of lubricant was indicative of some kind of inadequacy. It's no surprise really, much of our society measures arousal by how "big or hard" erections are, and how "wet and tight" vaginas and vulvas are.

There are lots of reasons that people like to use lubricant: Did you know that prescription medication dries out some vulvas? So does stress, sickness, or just your own genetics can determine how much natural lubricant a person's body makes on it's own. Besides, it's fun! People with penises and vaginas can play with silicone lube, waterbased lube, flavored, all-natural, there are so many options and many of them are body safe and ethically sourced. I like to vary my activities and the addition or subtraction of different kinds of stimulation with toys or lubes makes for a diverse and creative sex life.

@Falkyou, web app developer, cybersecurity ms candidate, model:

There is a stigma that exists around lube that if you need it then you’re unfortunately just not a well-oiled car. In theory, this sounds legit because we lack proper sex education in our society. However, in reality, lube is the savior you’ve been waiting on to take your experience to the next level.

This is because not only does lube help cancel out friction but it is an enhancement to whatever activity in which you’re currently partaking. It has properties that have the potential to create sensations the body alone cannot - like an icy feeling. It’s like you can drive a Ford on the reg but if you had the chance to drive a Lambo for a few extra dollars you just wouldn’t pass that up.

@shesvague:

Whatever you need to use to have a wonderful and enjoyable sexual experience, use it. Don’t ever feel ashamed. Always do what’s best for your mind body and soul.

If lube is a staple in your sex life, amazing! If it’s not, amazing!

I love lube and I find it really enhances sex and gives me ultimate pleasure. But I don’t always need it, it’s if I choose to and want to. Isn’t that what we all truely want from sex? For our minds to be blown and our bodies to be sent into another dimension? I certainly do.

You can never go wrong with a bit of extra lubrication.

Halle:

I think lube and the proper use of it should be taught in sex education. When I was in high school, there was so much myth around the use of lube that no really knew how to use it and probably still don’t. Haha.

Millie (IG: @milliesykess):

In the earlier, more confused years of my sexual exploration the thought of mentioning lube was pretty mortifying. To me, the suggestion of lube screamed ‘Not good enough! You’re dryer than the Sahara desert down there! He needs use tube juice to fix all that is wrong with you and your malfunctioning parts..pathetic!’. Unfortunately, I hadn’t gaged that my parts were working just fine, he just didn’t quite know how to operate them.

Now, I keep a bottle handy in my top drawer at all times. If I feel the slightest chafe, or if i’m just in the mood to get slippery I’m opening that drawer. It’s an awesome bedside companion, an aid for me rather than a symbol of my sexual inadequacy.

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @UNBOUNDBABES

[surveysonfleek]

535.

5000 Questions Survey Pt. 30

2801. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. But what was the question? idc. 2802. Suggest three new diary circles that you would find interesting: lol no thanks. 2803. Buttons or Knobs? knobs? idk what this is in reference to. 2804. What is a juggalo? those guys from insane clown posse, right? i could totally be wrong. 2805. Are you a fan of Crass? no.

2806. If you were going to write a short note to yourself and then put it away and read it in ten years, what would it say? i hope you ended up getting your shit together. 2807. When someone does something that is wrong do you believe that they know in their hearts that they are wrong but they push it down into their subconcious and rationalize away their guilt? yes and no. someone people genuinely don’t give a fuck. When have you done this (if you say never then you are doing it right now)? no. 2808. How can a person have sex with someone they don't love? they just... do? Have YOU ever? nope. 2809. What are the paradoxes in your head (that is when you believe two conflicting things to be true)? none. i do like reading up on paradoxes though. 2810. What does each set of two words suggest to you? pale gravity: no thanks. little mornings: spiritual machines: eccentric being: pray attention: yellow lectures: 2811. What movie would be AWESOME in 3D? tron was amazing in 3d, i actually felt sick afterwards lol. 2812. Why is it important to write and think clearly? just coz. 2813. A girl and her boyfriend are hanging out. It is obvious they are together. Another guy schmoozes between them and starts hitting on the girl. The boyfriend tells this guy to back off. The guy just keeps bothering the girl. Do you think the boyfriend would be justified in hitting this intrusive guy? i think the boyfriend should continue to use his words before getting violent. A girl and her boyfriend are hanging out. It is obvious they are together. Another GIRL(lesbian) schmoozes between them and starts hitting on the first girl. The boyfriend tells this girl to back off. The girl just keeps bothering the first girl. Do you think the boyfriend would be justified in hitting this intrusive girl? same answer as above ^ If you answered yes to one situation and no to the other one why the double standard? i had the same answer for both. 2814. What do you think of the name Prue? it reminds me of charmed. 2815. What would you spend your last dollar on? nothing, i’ll keep it. 2816. Have you ever won an ebay auction? yeah, i think i have. If yes for what? idk, this was years ago when ebay didn’t have a but it now option. 2817. Would you like it if Blockuster had a drivethrough?? blockbuster is dunzo. 2819. When was the last time you taught someone somthing and what was it? i was teaching my boyfriend how to milly rock hahaha. 2820. Why do adults and teens not understand each other? generation gaps. but i know of plenty of instances where they do understand each other. 2821. Are you afraid? no. 2822. Do you trust large drug corporations? it’s not something i’ve sat and thought about tbh. Do you trust the Food and Drug administration? idk. 2823. If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? yes. Do you define sound as sound waves or as the reaction between the soundwaves and your ears? sound waves.  2824. Who is full of shit? your mother. 2825. Four of the five senses are routed through a special area to the brain. One sense goes right to the brain and so is a powerful sense involved with memory and emotion. Which sense do you feel this is? smell? haha idk. 2826. Are you on a ship of fools or a carousel? carousel. 2827. What is your bathing suit like? it’s just plain black. 2828. Whose line is it, anyway? not mine. 2829. Are you more likely to answer a signed in note or a nsi note? idk what a nsi note is. 2830. To be or not to be. That is the question. What is the answer? i have no idea. 2831. Does beauty exist as a definable standard or is beauty in the eyes of the beholder? it’s definitely in the eye of the beholder. Why do you think it is that so many people have the same idea of who and what is beautiful? society’s standards. but not everyone follows it. Where do your standards for judging beauty come from? i’m not sure actually. i could think someone is gorgeous but my friend would think they’re ugly. idk. 2832. Would a war with Iraq help or harm american economy? lol. 2833. What is the first thing you would do if you saw a nuclear explosion in the distance? call my family and boyfriend and check the news. 2834. Would you like to be cryogenically frozen? nah. 2835. Think of the person you love the most. Would you be willing to murder a stranger in order to save that person's life? Why or why not? eh, not sure. i’d only 100% murder the stranger if they were the one endangering my loved one’s life. i’d have to think about it otherwise. 2836. Imagine no possetions. I wonder if you can? did you mean possessions? 2837. How messed up is: your hair? it’s quite neat actually. your room? yeah it’s a mess. your car? mess. your life? mess. 2838. What are you running out of? patience. 2839. What do you live for? myself. 2840. How did you decide it was worth living for? idk, just coz it’s my life. 2841. Do you consider some people to be too: traditional? conformist? avant-garde? smart? stuck up? modern? beautiful? ugly? obsessed? emotional? petty? sneaky? fat? thin? i know people that could cover all of these things. 2842. By what criteria do you judge others? generally in their behaviour. i have no time for rude people. 2843. Do you look at people's words and actions or the underlying reasons for those words and actions? both. 2844. Which would you rather collect: simpsons action figures? <---- this kiss gear? anything with a smiley? horror movies? 2845. Do you fight for your rights? not as much as i should. 2846. Would you rather be a construction worker or a crossing guard? crossing guard. 2847. What is enought o satisfy you in life? a well paying job that i can tolerate. 2848. Do you think you have more, less, or average life experiance for your age? i think i have a little more. 2849. Why go to college? if there’s a specific career path you want to follow that requires you to go to college, i think that’s a good enough excuse to go. Have you considered joining a cult instead? never. 2850. What's the last lie you told? someone asked me how i am and i said good lol. 2851. What celebrity has the sexiest voice of females? rihanna, i love her accent. males? drake has a really smooth speaking voice. 2852. You are having a party and can invite three celebrities of your choice. The WILL come. Who do you invite? rihanna, the weeknd andddd beyonce. 2853. Where did you come from? from my parents? Where are you now? in bed. Where are you going? nowhere. 2854. What would you imagine the playboy mansion is like? tbh it never looked that appealing during that reality show. it’s not something i’d be interested in seeing. 2855. Do you blow your nose loudly in public? only if i have to. 2856. Do you help others every day? i’d like to. 2857. Bono or Chris Tucker? neither. 2858. Is it lonely being alone in your head? sometimes i like being alone. 2859. What is the worst poverty you have ever seen? philippines. 2860. Has anyone ever told you that more than 2 billion people live on less than two dollars a day? no one has told me that. i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s gotten higher since this survey was made over 10 years ago. What do you think of that? it’s really sad. 2861. Add a sentance to the story: Once upon a time there was a man named Arthur and he was brushing his teeth when all of a sudden he saw a bright rainbow utside. So he goes out the back door to take a look and he finds an elf who says fuck you. 2862. Be honest.. do you generally listen or wait for your turn to talk? i usually wait unless i have a strong point to share. 2863. How many fingers do you type with? all of them i think. 2864. What does 'you think you know but you have no idea' mean? Where did it come from as a common phrase? my interpretation of it is like... you’re making a strong assumption without actually knowing or experiencing something. 2865. Do you think it's important to give up liberties in order to protect freedom? slightly contradictory but ok. 2866. Do you think George Bush was elected in a legal way? i don’t know much about american politics. 2867. Imagine you were dying of a disease...you only had a certain amount of time left with your mte, parents or children. What would you leave behind for them to remember you by? photos, videos, letters etc. How would you feel if there were drugs to help you live, only you couldn't afford them? i’d feel pretty helpless. How would you feel if people were trying to sell you the drugs at a lower cost but the drug companies made sure they couldn't because that would cut their profits? idk. This senario is going on Right Now.The country is Africa. The disease is aids. The drug is azp (and others). The people are Africans who are very poor and have aids. The large drug corporations won't sell the drugs at a price they can afford or allow smaller companies to either. Is this acceptable? no. What are you going to do about it? there’s not much i can do but research i guess. 2868. Would you ever BUY a new ring for your cell phone that plays a couple of notes of your favorite song? nah. 2869. What has completely moved you? life. 2870. If for your next birthday you had a novelty kids birthday party what games would you play at it? hide and seek, pinata, bullrush lol. 2871. How can you keep open toed sandles from rubbing against your toes and making them blistered and raw? wear different shoes. 2872. What happens to socks when they disappear in the drier? how the hell would i know. 2873. What is the quality of humanity all about? life lol. 2874. True or false - All homophobes are inherently evil.: false... some probably are, some are just not educated. 2875. Is there anything, besides love, that money can't buy? experience. eh, half true idk. 2876. How is your soul? still there. 2877. What are you committed to? these damn surveys lol. 2879. Are you photogenic? no. 2880. Can you define these words off the top of your head as if you were talking to someone who didn't know what they were? rain: cold: green: sand: eh, too tired to think. 2881. Why aren't you naked (or are you)? because i’m cold. 2882. Do you think anoyone is all good or all evil? possibly. 2883. Go outside a sec. how many animals are in your yard? lol hell no. Did you count yourself? why or why not? 2884. What household appliance drags you down? none. they’re all very useful. 2885. try this..write a list of six possibilities of things you could do after you are off the computer. Make sure that at lease ONE thing is something you would be unlikely to ever do. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. no. Now grab a dice (if you have none ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 6) and decide what you will do by flipping it. Then do it! 2886. Which of the following doesn't belong with the others and why? a. garden b. love c. magazine d. death idk 2887. How old are you? 26. What age do you feel mentally? 26. emotionaly? same. spiritualy? is there an age for spirituality? 2888. Who do you think is more wise: your mailman or a person who has been living on the streets for 12 years? it would just depends on the person. 2889. Do you kiss on the first date? i’m open to it. 2890. Would you ever want to be oon: a dating show(which)? no. a game show(which)? the amazing race. the news(why)? no, i don’t want any attention. 2891. How much money would it take to get you to: strip to nuthing but a bright orange thong (for guys, orange thongs an string bikini top for girls)and wrestle another person of the same sex in a thong in a pool of jello? 10k. participate in a contest where you drink alcohol as fast as you can until you puke? i’ll do it for like $100 lol. i’ll puke instantly. sit absolutely still for 2 hours, in nothing but a towel, covered in plaster of paris? $1000 maybe. Walk around at your school in bondage gear asking people to spank you on the ass with a huge dead octopus tenticle? i don’t go to school and that’s just creepy. pick your nose and eat it? $50 hahah. smash potatoes with your head? if it doesn’t hurt i’ll do it for a pretty low price. 2892. Who deserves an appology? my grandma. 2893. What wins the award as stupidst lyric you can think of? i feel like every artist has released a song with cringey lyrics. 2894. Where do you most like to be massaged? neck, back and feet. 2895. Is your face clear? no :( i got like two pimples after a night out. 2896. Finish this phrase in a humorous way.. Friends don't let friends... eat salad. 2897. What present would you bring to the birthday party of an aquaintance? i’d regift them something i already had. sorry lol. 2898. Is your game on? no. 2899. What would a song for the deaf be like? possibly feeling the bass. How about a painting for the blind? a visual description. 2900. What is a sure-fire way to get noticed? yeah, run around naked in public.

[mama-m1na]

Soul Drivers: Chapter 1

~~~I~~~

It was extremely loud on the buses that were currently transporting 59 students through the Tokyo settlement of Area 11.

This particular group of students had just come from the homeland of Britannia to have their last two filed competitions of the season and participate in a few parade competitions as well.

This was the Trinity Institute’s Platinum Regiment, a marching band that had recently gained prowess in the capital for their sudden high scores and performance ability.

“Can you guys be quiet for once?!” snapped a twenty-one-year-old male from a seat closer to the front as he turned around to the multiple teenagers that made up the band.

“No you, Kassim! You just want an excuse for you to cuddle with Mina again!” came a response from the back causing a red heat to spread across the male’s face.

“And I’m definitely awake now,” groaned a ravenette who removed her head from the male’s shoulder.

“Sorry, Your Highness,” sighed the male as he turned to face his seat partner, “Your kids are extremely annoying.”

“I know, but I love them anyway,” she chuckled before turning to the back of the bus, “And y’all are perverts by the way!”

“Shut up and kiss already dammit!” was the response from one of the boys as he sat with his girlfriend, “The tension between you two literally frustrates everyone!”

“Ha! What you see does not exist,” laughed the ravenette as she turned back to the front, pulling out her phone and reading fanfiction before she positioned herself so her back was against the window.

“Why do you always do that?” the male asked as he observed the barely shorter female.

“Do what?” the teen hummed as she kept her eyes focused on her phone.

“You always hide your screen from everyone,” the male replied before a smirk crept onto his face, “I bet you’re reading porn or some shit.”

“Hun, do you take me for one of my siblings or something?” scoffed the girl as she rolled her eyes, “Why do you want to know so bad anyway?”

“Don’t I have a right to be curious?”

“You do but if I catch you looking through my phone without my permission, I will not hesitate to gut you,” she chirped with a bright smile on her face.

It was around three in the afternoon when the buses reached their stop, Ashford Academy, a school made for Britannians in the Tokyo settlement of Area 11.

Even though none of the students in the program were born Britannian, almost all of them were gifted with honorary Britannian titles due to various reasons.

For some their parents were honorary Britannians, some passed a test, some had parents who served in the Britannian military, and there were others who earned the favor of a Britannian noble.

“Alright! Hey, Band!” the ravenette exclaimed as she stood in the aisle of her bus, earning the undivided attention of everyone there.

“I know I already said this before we left, but I’m saying it again,” the seventeen-year-old began, eyes sweeping across the students to make sure they were paying attention, “As fellow honorary Britannians we all know that there will be many here who discriminate against us, but as we do in homeland, we have to ignore it. Do not give in to their taunts and let their comments of us being lower life forms than them ring true. If you have problems with someone, talk with me and I will personally take it up with them.”

“Mina, what happens if a bully happens to, let’s say, disappear without a trace?” asked an older member of the band.

With a short chuckle, the female licked her lips, making sure no adults other than Kassim were on the bus before replying, “It isn’t a crime if you aren’t caught.”

This statement caused the others to yell in excitement, knowing the only crimes their Drum Major would allow them to commit involved getting back at those who discriminated against numbers.

“However,” continued the female, “You must be wary amongst these people after last year’s Black Rebellion, they are sure to be on edge.”

“Yes?” she asked with a smirk on her face, dark pleasure shining in her brown irises littered with gold flecks.

“Yes, Ma’am!” came her reply before she as well as the others began collecting their things from the overhead storage compartments.

Waiting at the gates of the school stood three students, doning the academy’s uniform.

The first was a female with shoulder-length blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes and a curvy figure.

The second was another female with long orange hair, fair skin, yellow/green irises, and stood a little taller than the average teenage girl.

The third was a short male with semi-long, bright blue hair, and grey eyes.

As they looked to the buses the first one to exit was a teenaged female who obviously was not born Britannian.

She had golden-brown skin, long black hair that reached her upper thighs, and a curvy figure. When the female turned to face them the group noticed a strange and quite literal, golden sparkle coming from her brown irises.

The female wore a black t-shirt littered with white lightning bolts, a pair of denim shorts, and brown combat boots with a three inch heel.

The oldest of the students took it upon herself to approach the ravenette as she watched the others unload from the bus and said, “Hello there, I’m Milly Ashford, president of the student council. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Rhamina Miyu, Head Drum Major of the Platinum Regiment,” the foreign female replied with a smile as they shook hands, “Nice to meet you as well.”

“Oh, you’re the one who is joining the student council!” the blonde beamed with a large smile, clasping the girl’s hands in her own.

“Um, I guess?” Rhamina asked, eyes flicking back to Kassim for help, but it was already too late as the president had dragged her off to the other three students. 

“Well, these are the other members of the student council, Shirley Fenette and Rivalz Cardemonde,” Milly introduced as she gestured to the other two who still stood by the gate, “We have one more but he left with his little brother a little earlier today.”

“Milly, is this the Drum Major?” the blue haired male asked earning a nod from the ravenette.

“I’m Rhamina Miyu, Head Drum Major of the Platinum Regiment,” she spoke with a slight bow, “It’s a pleasure to be able to attend school with such a welcoming student council.”

For a few moments Shirley stood there confused at her statement before remembering that almost all of the members of the band were not of Britannian origin.

‘Poor things,’ she thought with a slight frown as the ravenette returned to where a taller male stood by the bus, ‘They must have had a hard time.’

Once the rest of the band were settled into the dorms, Rhamina along with Kassim accompanied Milly to the Student Council room where they began discussing things involving the program.

“Where is Lelouch?” huffed the president as they took a break, “As my vice president, he should be here for these things.”

“He went off somewhere with Rolo,” Rivalz replied as he turned on his laptop.

“He’s off gambling again?” Shirley asked with wide eyes, “And with his brother too? His bad habits are going to rub off on little Rolo.”

“Sounds like a certain someone, wouldn’t you say, Princess?” Kassim asked, nudging the ravenette with his elbow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rhamina sung in reply as she returned her focus to the notebook in which she was writing down notes throughout the meeting, heat spreading across her cheeks as she turned away.

“Holy crap!” the blue haired teenager exclaimed while standing up, the force knocking his chair to the ground, “Zero, and the Black Knights are back and they’re holing up in the Chinese Federation building!”

“Huh?! But isn’t Zero dead?!” Shirley asked as she and the others gathered around the screen to see the masked figure known as Zero, alive and giving a speech.

Kassim and Rhamina looked towards each other as they stood at the back of the group, the latter with a dark smirk on her face as her eyes flicked back to the screen momentarily.

“Well, thank you all for having us today, but I think I’m going to head back to my room and get some rest,” Rhamina spoke, expression changing to a light smile.

“Yeah, I’m going to do the same,” Kassim added with a yawn as he made his way to the door, “Peace.”

“Bye, Kassim, love you!” the ravenette chirped as the male disappeared before she walked back to her seat to grab her things.

“Wait, are you and Kassim a thing?” Shirley asked in surprise.

“Huh?” the foreign teen asked before realizing what she just said, “Oh, no we aren’t dating. We’re just really close friends! I tell all of my trusted friends and kids that I love them because I don’t know if they hear it enough from others.”

“It’s not a lie though,” she added as she reminisced about her previous band experiences, “I truly do love each and every one of them despite the fact the can get on my nerves sometimes.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” a new voice said, earning the attention of everyone in the room.

“Lelouch, Rolo, you’re back!” exclaimed Shirley, immediately rushing over at the sight of the two boys.

The original members of the student council glomped the male with violet eyes that had just walked in.

“Weren’t you at the casino that was attacked by terrorists?” Rivalz asked, leading the male back to the table while the ravenette stood off to the side gazing at the five as they interacted.

“Yes, but I managed to escape somehow,” the male spoke before turning to the unfamiliar female, “but who is this?”

“I’m Rhamina Miyu, Head Drum Major of the Platinum regiment,” she replied for the third time that day as she held out her hand to shake, “I’m going to be working with you guys from now on.”

With a small smile, the noiret shook the female’s hand and said, “I’m Lelouch Lamprouge, nice to meet you as well.”

Before any more conversation could be made, the ravenette’s phone began buzzing in her hand and she shook her head.

“Well, I really have to go now, but it was nice meeting you all,” she said, declining the call she was getting, “I’ll see you all tomorrow!”

As she made her way to the door the shorter, more timid, violet-eyed male could have sworn the ravenette’s eyes flashed gold, if only for a split second.

Once she was out of the room, Rhamina pulled out her phone and opened up a group chat consisting of all of her leadership.

With a small smirk on her face she sent one, simple phrase.

“Target identified.”

The next morning the ravenette woke up to her alarm going off in her individual room.

She was fortunate to have been roomed on her own since their band had an odd number of girls, so this allowed the teen to take her necessary breaks from socialization.

“Fuck!” she groaned while standing from her bed, multiple pops coming from her various joints 

“Why am I so fucking broken?” the ravenette growled as she limped towards her closet, the female’s deformed left knee not taking well to the cold temperature of the dorm.

Once she had finished her morning routine, Rhamina exited the bathroom and looked at herself in the floor length mirror that was already there.

“Jesus, this skirt is kinda pushing some limits,” she huffed as she looked down at the black skirt that barely reached mid thigh, “But at least I won’t overheat in the blazer.”

Hearing her text tone go off, Rhamina checked to see it was from one of her siblings saying that she was outside her door and to hurry up because she was hungry.

The ravenette only shook her head before she grabbed the necklace that was on her nightstand and put it on, letting the purple and aged pewter cross pendant dangle over her chest.

Upon opening her door she was greeted with the sight of a familiar, dark-skinned female standing in front of her door.

“God dammit, Tijarah, you could have gone ahead of me you know?” Rhamina sighed as she locked her door.

“I could have done that,” the other female said with a shrug, “But I don’t like these fucking people.”

“Almost all of them kept making comments yesterday,” scoffed Tijarah as they reached the cafeteria, “Very loudly I might add.”

As the two girls got their breakfast, Rhamina very quickly noticed that her kids were separated from the others, the Ashford students making an effort to avoid any of the new faces.

“Why the hell would they let so many numbers into this school?” was one of the whispers, the sharp ears of the teen picked up, “It’s so disgusting.”

Rhamina’s eyes flicked to the side where she heard the voice and flashed for a moment before the male student let out a yelp, dropping his now frozen solid drink as he cradled his hand that was burned by the cold.

Tijarah snickered from the ravenette’s left side before the pair took a seat amongst their fellow band children to begin their meal.

Rhamina had barely finished her meal when the voice of a certain female caught her ears.

“Mimi! There you are!” an orange-haired female called as she made her way over to the isolated tables earning the attention of the entire cafeteria.

“Mimi?” the ravenette asked as Shirley approached her.

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind,” she chirped with a bright smile.

“Not at all, but did you need something, Shirley?” Rhamina asked as various members of the band eyed the new character.

“Yeah, we’re having a party today after school to celebrate Lelouch and Rolo’s escape from the terrorist attack and all of you are invited!”

“Alright,” the ravenette said as she pulled out her phone to put it in her calendar, “I’ll tell everyone about it when I get the chance. Thanks, Hun.”

“No problem,” the female chirped before she turned to leave, waving before she disappeared.

“Who was that?” asked a male from originally Area 6 as he was eating some chips.

“A girl from the student council,” came the simple reply from Rhamina as she sent out a mass message to her band about the party.

“Well, I’m done so I’m going to start heading over to meet my homeroom teacher now,” she sighed while gathering her things and standing, “Love you guys, see you later.”

“Love you, Mina!” came the reply from a smaller girl with short hair.

With a short wave, the teen walked out of the cafeteria and began walking to her class  eyes scanning the hallways, walking past various students whose whispers never seemed to stop.

‘Jesus, and I thought the gossip in Homeland was bad,’ she thought, sending a quick glare at a pair of girls that had sneered at her.

Upon reaching her new classroom the girl knocked before entering, her teacher greeting the teen with a smile.

When the class started the ravenette stood in front while the teacher introduced her, eyes scanning over her class to see three members of the student council.

“Class this is Rhamina Miyu, she and many of her peers have come over from Homeland to compete in our band brackets,” the woman spoke before the ravenette gave a slight bow.

“It’s nice to meet you all and I hope we can get along,” Rhamina chirped with a smile before walking towards an empty seat near the window.

“Filthy six.”

“Shit!” a male student exclaimed as he dropped his pen, now encased in ice as some of it stuck to his hand.

“Tyler, to the principal’s office!”

Rhamina sat down with a small smirk as she released the grip on her pendant, not noticing the pair of violet-eyes that were on her.

Once the day’s classes were over Rhamina began picking up her stuff when she was approached by Shirley and Lelouch.

“Ready to go?” the female asked as Rhamina stood up.

“Yep, I’m good, so what are we going to do first?” the ravenette asked as she walked with the other two back to the student council room.

“Well, Milly and Lelouch are going to handle making the food since Rivalz and I aren’t really that good in the kitchen so you can either help them or you can help Rivalz and I set up the decorations,” Shirely replied with a thoughtful look on her face.

“I’ll just help wherever I can, I guess,” Rhamina chuckled with a shrug, “Though, I might be more useful for decorating than in the kitchen.”

“Shirely, be careful!” called Rhamina as she watched the orange-haired female standing on top of a wobbly ladder as Rivalz tried to hold it steady.

“Jesus, I should have been the one to put this up instead,” she muttered watching as Shirley reached out to hang something on the ceiling only to slip.

Crash! “Crap!”

Upon hearing the loud noises, Lelouch and Milly rushed outside to see Rhamina on her knees holding Shirley while the ladder was on its side next to them.

“Oh, my god! Are you okay, Mimi?” Shirely asked as she got off of the ravenette.

“What happened?” Milly asked as she rushed over and held out a hand for her.

“I was putting up streamers when I fell and Mimi caught me,” Shirely recounted as the ravenette waved her hands around dismissively.

“I couldn’t let you just fall like that now could I?” Rhamina chuckled as she took the president’s hand.

“Yeah, but are you okay?” Milly asked like a concerned mother would.

“I’m fine,” the girl chirped, only for her body to betray her as she winced upon trying to stand, her knees not allowing any pressure, “Nevermind.”

Lelouch then surprised the members by bringing a chair forward and saying, “Shirley, go get the first aid kit.”

He then assisted the teen into the chair when he noticed something, she was extremely warm.

His eyes flicked up to her face in confusion, but she was focused on the large bleeding patched on her legs.

“Nice,” she chuckled while attempting to straighten her legs only to regret her decision as pain ran up it, “It’s always my knees.”

“Do accidents like this happen a lot?” asked Rolo, who the ravenette didn’t even notice was there.

“Yeah that and my knees aren’t really that good to begin with,” she explained as Lelouch began to disinfect and clean the area with the first aid kit Shirely brought back, “I injured my left knee when I was younger and it never healed properly so my bones are literally deformed.”

“You can visibly see it too,” she said pointing out a bump below her left kneecap once it was cleaned, “Makes it pretty hard to function sometimes, especially when it’s cold or when I first wake up.”

“That must have been uncomfortable while you were marching then,” Milly commented as the noiret finished patching up her knees, “It’s good that you’re just conducting now.”

“Actually, it’s getting worse as I grow older so it actually hurts worse now,” Rhamina chuckled sadly and she played with her hands, “I just hope that they can last till I graduate until I become a band director, at least then I won’t be doing work that’s as strenuous.”

“I’m sure you will,” chirped Shirley as she placed a hand on the female’s shoulder, “From what I saw of you yesterday and today, you’re very hardworking, so I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

“Thank you, Shirley, you are very kind and I’m sure you will find a bright future as well,” the ravenette said with a smile before she tried to stand only for multiple hands to keep her seated.

“Oh no you don’t!” Milly said with a small smile, “Just take a break and we can finish the rest.”

“But-” “Seriously, we can do this, you’ve done enough for us already and I’m sure you’re tired from your first day,” Rivalz reassured, “Just rest up so you can be ready to party later!” 

The ravenette tried to continue her protest but was immediately shut down by her new friends, so as they finished the set up, Rhamina just sat in a chair off to the side while playing with her phone.

As the time for the party approached the female stood up, not just to stretch a bit since the pain was starting to go away, but also because her own friends were arriving and she wanted to greet them.

“So this is where you’ve been for the past hour?” Kassim asked as she wrapped an arm around the ravenette’s shoulders before he noticed her knees, “What happened?”

“I did an oopsie,” she replied with a shrug, earning a glare from the male before he swept her to an isolated corner of the room.

“Princess, you really can’t afford to be getting clumsy right now,” he said with his hands on her upper arms, “Especially with what we’re about to do.”

“You think I don’t know that, Kassim?” Rhamina replied with an awkward smile as she placed one of her hands on his, “With our next move, we’re for sure to shake the world. Don’t you think I realize that? I’m terrified, but we’re doing what it takes to move forward so please just let me act like a normal teenager when I get the chance.”

  From across the room Lelouch watched as the older male brought the ravenette into an embrace.

“Jesus Christ, one of them needs to just get on one knee and fucking propose already,” Tijarah scoffed from next to him at the snack table.

“Are they together?” the male asked with a raised brow as two more females and a shorter male walked up.

“Nope, but you would think one of them would have the balls to confess by now,” scoffed the dark-skinned female, earning the attention of the three.

“You talking about Mina and Kassim?” asked a female with dark hair and tanned skin from next to her boyfriend, “yeah, they both obviously have a thing for each other but none of them will admit it, it’s hella frustrating.”

“Yeah, but I kind of understand why they don’t,” the female with brown hair and emerald eyes commented, “I mean think about it, Kerstin, it would be dangerous for them to be in a relationship given their circumstances and it will be for a while.”

They all just stared at the brunette, speechless until Kerstin broke the silence by saying, “Jesus, Sam, rhat’s fucking depressing.”

“I’m not wrong though, am I?” she continued as the group of three walked away from the snack table, bickering back and forth.

“Fucking, wackjobs,” scoffed the dark-skinned female before she turned back to Lelouch, “You don’t want to hang around them.”

“Like you’re one to talk, Miss Aquaphobe,” chuckled Rhamina as she walked back with Kassim at her side.

“You two done making out?” the female retorted, causing the ravenette to shake her head before turning to Lelouch.

“I hope this one hasn’t been saying anything weird,” Kassim chuckled, placing a hand on Tijarah’s shoulder.

“She was only answering one of my questions,” the taller male replied with a small smile.

“Oh, dear lord,” came Rhamina’s response as she looked to her sibling who only shrugged.

“Oh, Lelouch, before I forget!” chirped the ravenette before she bowed in the male’s direction, “Thank you for helping me earlier! I really appreciate it.”

“You don’t have to-” “Hey, Mina!” called a younger girl with blonde hair and glasses.

“What is it, Jamie?” the seventeen-year-old asked as she was dragged to the center of the room where a harp and chair were set up.

“Do you know how to play this?” she asked pulling out her phone as others began turning their attention to the instrument.

“I-um, yes I can, but why do you need to know that?” chuckled the ravenette as she began to tense up.

“Can you play something for us?” the blonde asked with bright eyes, “Please?!”

“Do I have a choice?” Rhamina asked as she noticed that she was surrounded by her peers.

“No,” came the unified response from everyone she knew.

“Fine,” grumbled the female as she took a seat at the chair and thought of a song to play on the stringed instrument.

With a sigh she lifted her hands to the strings and began plucking, earning the attention of the whole party.

“In the woodlands low, born of ice and snow, there's a maiden weeping tonight. Snow falls softly 'neath the winter moon,” she sang, trying to ignore the multiple eyes watching her, “Forest bare and white, she dwells there by night. Listen to her cry sorrow's song. Snow falls softly 'neath the winter moon .”

“Breathless, icy, bright. Daughter of the night. Oh, who do you cry for? Keening softly 'neath the winter moon,” the room seemed to grow darker and colder as she sang, the moon seeming to appear above the female’s head, “Fuyu no tsuki, fuyu no tsuki, kanashimi utsusu fuyu no tsuki. Kogoeru fuyu no tsuki no yoru ni yuki no otome hana o mistuke ni yuki ni umoreta sanrin no naka o tabi tsuzukena sai.”

“Traveler passing through, feet all bare , his smile was true. His eyes shone with starlight he waked softly 'neath the winter moon,” as Rhamina continued her tale, she looked up to see everyone entranced by her song and smiled softly, “Love made my heart soar, you're the one I've waited for. Stay with me forever she cried softly 'neath the winter moon.”

“In the snow he stayed, from my side he did not stray. My hands could not warm him. He died softly 'neath the winter moon,” the ravenette sung, closing her eyes, “Fuyu no tsuki, fuyu no tsuki, kanashimi utsusu fuyu no tsuki. Kogoeru fuyu no tsuki no yoru ni yuki no otome hana o mistuke ni yuki ni umoreta sanrin no naka o tabi tsuzukena sai.”

“Fuyu no tsuki, fuyu no tsuki, kanashimi utsusu fuyu no tsuki. Kogoeru fuyu no tsuki no yoru ni yuki no otome hana o mistuke ni yuki ni umoreta sanrin no naka o tabi tsuzukena sai.”

“In the woodlands low, born of ice and snow,  there's a maiden weeping tonight. Snow falls softly 'neath the winter moon.” 

“Breathless, icy, bright. Daughter of the night. Oh, who do you cry for? Keening softly 'neath the winter moon.” 

As Rhamina strummed the last note of the song she was greeted with applause and the afternoon sun filled the room through the victorian styled glass windows of the student council room.

Standing, the ravenette let herself be swarmed by other students before her eyes met with a pair of violet irises from across the room who just watched her, even as she was swept away by the crowd.

“Lelouch?” a voice asked, calling the male from his thoughts.

“What is it, Rolo?” he asked, now focused on his ‘younger brother’.

“Are you alright, Lelouch? You’ve been staring at that girl for quite a while now,” the brunet commented as he looked over at the teenager who was currently trying to run from Kerstin and Sam, “Does something about her bother you?”

“Yes, actually,” the pale teen replied as his eyes narrowed slightly, “Her presence reminds me of someone, but I can’t place my finger on it.”

Just then the television which was being used to play music in the background switched to the news channel.

“Breaking news, in response to Zero hiding himself within the Chinese Federation building, Gilbert G.P. Guilford, the personal knight of the second princess Cornelia, has brought out all of the imprisoned Black Knights!” the reporter stated as it showed two large containers holding prisoners, with some of them restrained on top.

The camera then switched to the knight himself as he said, “I personally challenge Zero to a duel tomorrow, if he fails to show up then these comrades of his will be executed at noon.”

This statement brought shock upon the entire room as Rolo looked up to Lelouch who could only stand wide eyed.

The various students of Ashford Academy immediately began to whisper to each other about the new uprising of Zero.

Which left the Platinum Regiment to wordlessly look at each other before their heads snapped up to Rhamina who hid a smirk behind her hand.

‘It looks like our turn has finally begun.’

~~~Fin. Chapter 1~~~

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Song Used: Winter Moon - Erutan

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