#‘cause my exam session had ended in July

[aykady]

[agentelevatormusic]

Wellness Session with Oyuun 1

Elevator Music dropped little inquiries about Wellness Counselor Oyuun in conversation with various members of site faculty. There were mentions of coloring pages and breathing exercises. Often they wore a smile when they remembered to Vera that whatever activity Oyuun had guided them through, they’d felt better for the rest of the day.

That scared Vera. 

She’d attempted therapy. Respected it. Certainly knew enough about it to be painfully aware that there was nothing ethical that could make her all better in a single session. It occurred to Vera, with increasing worry, that the Foundation was going to use this “wellness session” to tamper with her some more. It was even possible that this Oyuun person was some sort of anomaly and drugs wouldn’t enter the equation. 

So, she spent several hours coding out a complex series of paper and pencil messages to herself and hiding them around her quarters, her exam room, and her office. Generally along the lines of, “If you don’t remember putting this here, then you need to think hard about that wellness session,” followed by an exacting set of instructions to remember specifically listed things that might have been wiped out and a guide through five of the core memories in her trash journals.

The fear of being altered led her to postpone that meeting until the very last minute. Vera held off for so long that she suffered, not for the first time, the painful realization that it might be better if the Foundation did make her forget. Even if the session wouldn’t heal Vera or even cause lasting benefits, she thought desperately, maybe it would ease her suffering. Perhaps it would blur the edges of reality so it wouldn’t cut her so deeply. Draw out some of that venom she only saved for herself. 

When that fishbowl office was empty, Vera reluctantly walked up and knocked.

She and Oyuun silently observed each other from opposite sides of the room for a little more than five minutes. Vera hadn’t intended to be so quiet, but she found that she could not speak. She could only stare with fearful eyes and smile occasionally. 

Finally, Oyuun gave an instruction. “Pace around the room.”

Vera let out a breath of relief and began to pace. Maybe this was meant to pull her into some sort of pseudoscientific hypnotic trance, she thought idly as she circled the room. Anyone outside of the fishbowl could watch her, sure, but that hardly mattered. She’d been observed doing far worse than pacing. 

It did not bother her that a minute had passed. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty. Vera was so relieved that this was her assignment, that she genuinely began to feel better. There was a glimmer of hope, so rare, that she actually would leave the wellness counselor’s office feeling good for the rest of the day.

“Talk about the long drive you took with your family from your home in Hartford, Connecticut to New York, New York on July 14th, 1987.” 

Vera froze on the spot. Goosebumps ran up her arms. The hair at the back of her neck stood on end. She opened her mouth to cry out, but found that, once again, she could not form any sound at all.

“Keep pacing.”

So Vera kept pacing. She focused on her breathing and then she brought the memory forward to the best of her ability. This had to end. She needed to get out of here. It didn’t matter the cost. “I was nine years old,” Vera began. Her voice was as monotone as it ever got. Distant. As far from the fishbowl as she could will herself. “We were on a family vacation to New York City. My parents wanted Ella and I to see the museums.” Her eyes snapped shut. She’d been pacing so long her feet had memorized the shape of the office.   

“Mother wanted us to see the MET first. Father was more insistent on the Museum of Natural History. They had tickets for all of us to see Pygmalion, All My Sons, and The Comedy of Errors.”

“The drive,” Oyuun said. 

“We left very early in the morning to beat the traffic. Father made us little breakfast boxes to eat on the road, but we had to pull over because Ella was getting carsick. He wasn’t upset. He sat down with us on the picnic bench at that scenic overlook and told us about everything we were going to see. He hadn’t been to the ‘Big City’ in years. He told us that he’d wanted to take us to all his old haunts, places he’d visited in college, but they’d been written out of the guidebooks after so many years. I remember,” she squinted, even with closed eyes. “I was surprised. Father, and mother, too, always seemed to know everything all the time. To be everywhere, all the time, even when they were mostly with us at home. It was the first time I really, truly realized that they weren’t,” she shook her head, “gods.” And she’d loved them more for it. 

“Once Ella felt better, we got back into the car. Mother drove us through the traffic. She was a good driver. Father, too, but he was better at local roads. Mother took care of the highways. I liked to look up and pretend I was steering with her and then Ella would copy me so we’d both be steering from the backseat with increasing delay. We were getting a little old for that game.

“The four of us played word games instead.” Vera smiled. The end of her nose tingled sharply as if she were about to cry, but she didn’t. “Every one of us was competitive to a fault in that car. The games went on for hours. No mercy for incorrect answers or hesitation, but we thought we were hilarious. Father put his hand on Mother’s elbow and she smiled back at me through the rearview mirror. It was like I’d been let in on a secret.”

Vera’s warm, whiskey eyes opened. She was fully back in the fishbowl. 

“By the time we arrived, it was dark. Ella was asleep by my side. Holding my hand. Mother and Father opened the car doors. They carried us up to the hotel room. I pretended I was asleep the whole way up the elevator and down the hall. Kept my eyes closed as they tucked us in like we were little girls again. Their little girls. Father gave Ella and I each a kiss on the forehead. Then he and mother stood in the doorway. They watched us in the city lights from behind the curtains until… I guess I fell asleep.”

“Good.”

Vera stopped walking and blinked at Oyuun. There was an unspoken understanding that the session was at an end. Miracle of miracles, Vera did leave feeling better for the rest of the day. 

[spine-buster]

Alone, Together | My End and My Beginning: Epilogue 2 | Morgan Rielly

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS AN IMAGE THAT I HAVE MADE/DOCTORED SO THAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S FROM A MAGAZINE CALLED “TORONTO LIFE” (A REAL MAGAZINE) THAT CONTAINS A FACE CLAIM FOR BEE.  IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IT, SKIP PAST!  IT’S A QUARTER OF A WAY THROUGH THE EPILOGUE.

July 2022

“I still can’t believe you’re engaaaaaaaaaaaaaged,” Angie wrapped her arms around Bee for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night as they stood out on the deck.  Rocco and Clarette had thrown Morgan and Bee an engagement party at their house and had somehow invited the whole team and some of Bee’s work colleagues.  Clarette was in heaven hosting for everyone.  The team was in heaven gorging on the Italian food Rocco and Clarette catered in.  Bee was sure Rocco had showed someone his vegetable garden.

“Can you believe?” Bee mimicked Jonathan Van Ness dramatically.  “It’s finally happening.”

“It’s happening when it’s supposed to be happening,” Angie said.  “You lived your life first.  You accomplished your professional goals first.  It was important for you to accomplish those things before marriage.  You’re a fucking CFA, Bee.  Morgan had better wife’d you up.  Not like he can do any better.”

“Hey!  That’s my fiancé you’re talking about!” Bee giggled.  

“I know.  And I love him.  But it’s true.”

Bee rolled her eyes playfully at Angie’s words.  “He bought us a house in Forest Hill, Angie.”

“You’re going to live in Forest Hill, Bee,” Angie gritted her teeth into a facetious smile.  “Mason and I will be there every weekend.”

“Obviously.”

“Stealing all your food.”

“Of course.”

“Swimming in your pool.  If you guys build a pool.”

“Better start buying more bathing suits.”

“Our kids will be best friends just like we are.”

Bee smiled.  “Naturally.  Like there’s any other option.”

***

***

December 2022

“Is there a way I can keep all these flowers after the wedding?  Fuck,” Angie asked as she flipped through Rachel Clingen’s lookbook and the sketches that had been prepared for Bee.  Bee had gone to see her a few weeks ago with Aryne, who was adamant that Rachel to the floral décor for the wedding.  She didn’t disappoint.  “This is going to look stunning.”

“I know, right?  I can’t believe how good she is.”

“She’s great.  It’s literally everything you said you wanted and she somehow made it come to life.  And in the Grand Banking Hall?  All that beautiful old architecture and then this?  Literally every magazine should be begging you to profile it because it’s gonna look beautiful.”

Bee couldn’t help but chuckle.  She had a much better relationship with the media now than she did when she first started dating Morgan, and she was much more comfortable around photographers or the press – especially in terms of hers or the Lady Leafs charity work – but she was always, always a bit weary.  She wouldn’t want people she didn’t know at her wedding.  A magazine had already approached her asking to profile the interiors of their house once it was completed, but she politely declined.  Maybe she’d change her mind in the future, but she didn’t think so.  “Rachel’s gonna put it up on her website.  So is Mango – the photographers.  I think that’s enough.”

“I think I’m gonna need a giant photo too to hang over my fireplace.”

“I think we should blow up this one instead,” Bee smiled, digging into her purse to retrieve the envelope she was planning to give to Angie this whole time.  

Angie looked at her weirdly.  She took the envelope from her, opening in slowly, only to reveal a photograph – perhaps the most important photograph: the first one they ever took together.  It was in university, during a exam study session at E.J. Pratt Library.  There was a stack of books beside both Bee and Angie.  A girl they were friends with at the time had taken it, though they weren’t in touch now.  “Oh my God,” Angie snorted as she inspected the photograph.  “Look how awful my curls looked.”

“I still fell in love with you,” Bee winked.  

Angie gave her another look.  “So did Mason, surprisingly,” she quipped.  “God, we were so young.  We’re only eighteen here!”

“Remember how we stayed so late they kicked us out because they were closing?” Bee asked.  Angie nodded her head.  “Do you remember what you said to me after we packed up?”

Angie thought back.  Bee watched as the gears in her head began to shift, and as the realization dawned on her, her brows furrowed.  “I said ‘When I’m your maid of honour, I’m going to tell everyone the story of how I helped you pass this exam’,” she said.

Bee smiled.  “So are you ready to do that or what?”

Angie pursed her lips to keep from crying, but when she looked at Bee, Bee could see a tear in her eye.  “Obviously.”

***

“Hi my beautiful Isabella!  Hi!  Hi!” Bee smiled wide as she saw Isabella chilling in her Bumbo on the counter.  “Are you happy to see Tia Bee?”

“BAH!” Isabella Tavares babbled happily, smiling.  “Bah bah bah!”

“Bah bah bah!” Bee mimicked.  “How’s my darling princess?”

“Darling princess is fine now that she’s burped,” Aryne smiled as she finished folding a dishtowel and lay it back on the counter.  “Jace!  Come say hi to Tia Bee!”

Bee heard the quick flutter of his steps as he ran to her from the family room.  “Hi Tia Bee!” he screamed loudly, crashing into her legs and giving her a hug.  Bee picked him up and held him in her arms as she kissed him dramatically all over his face, causing him to giggle profusely.

“How’s my prince doing?”

“Good.”

“What are you playing?”

“I play with my Lego.”

“What are you building?”

“I build a car.”

“Can you finish building your car and then show me?”

“Okay!” he said, wigging out of her arms and running back to his place on the carpet in the family room.

Bee turned back to Aryne, who was watching the whole encounter unfold.  “What’s that in your hand?” Aryne asked.

“Oh, I got your mail for you,” Bee said absent-mindedly, handing her the envelope.  “Just one thing in there.”

“Oh, thanks,” Aryne said as she began to tear it open.  Bee looked on as she did, a small smile on her face.  Like clockwork, Aryne’s eyes furrowed as she saw what was in the envelope: a card that had the first picture taken of them together, from a game at Scotiabank Arena.  “What’s this?”

“Will you open it?”

Aryne flipped the card open on command, reading the words that Bee wrote.  The more she read, the more her eyes began to well up with tears.  “You want me to be your bridesmaid?”

“Of course I do,” Bee said softly.  “I can’t imagine you not being up there with me, Aryne.”

Aryne began crying.  She outstretched her arms as she walked around the island to hug Bee, squeezing her tightly.  “I love you so much.”

***

“Oh…oh, Briony,” Shirley gasped as Bee walked out in the last dress.  It was the first one they had chosen, but the last one Bee was trying on.  From beside Shirley, Clarette put her hands over her mouth.  “Briony, I…I’m speechless.”

“It’s looks good?” she asked nervously, patting down the delicate lace.

“It’s stunning,” Shirley nodded.  “It’s perfect, sweetheart.”

“It’s the one,” Clarette said.  “It’s so beautiful, mignonette.  The lace is exquisite.  The…the…everything.”

Bee turned to Angie, only to see her eyes red with tears.  “What do you think?”

Angie shook her head, unable to find the words.  She continued to shake her head until she could.  “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she said between sniffles.  “Morgan’s gonna absolutely die.”

Bee turned around, looking at herself in the full-length mirror, most of the most important women in her life behind her.  She saw the lace draped over her body and sprawling train behind her, delicate but elegant.  The v-neck framed her chest and shoulders perfectly, the fabric draping over her hips.  As she stared at herself, she pictured herself holding a bouquet.  She pictured herself at the end of an aisle, a crowd of people standing in front of her.  When the sales associate swooped in and placed a veil on her, the vision was complete.  She pictured herself walking down the aisle.  She pictured herself walking, making eye contact with the guests.  She pictured Morgan at the top of the aisle staring back at her, smiling.  She pictured Angie smiling.  Aryne smiling.

“Is this the dress?” the sales associate asked.

Bee smiled.  This is the dress.”

February 2023

“Hey Andy?”

“Yeah Bee?”

“Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Of course.  What is it?”

“Can…can you sit down?”

Andy stopped moving.  He had been preparing a glass of water for himself, but he stopped as he looked at Bee and recognized how serious her tone was.  “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I just…I just want you to sit,” she repeated, going so far as to move the chair so he could follow her command.

He sat down slowly.  “What’s going on?”

“Um.  So listen,” she began nervously.  “I know…you know…you know that I don’t have a dad – well I have a dad, I just don’t know my dad – and, well – I, uh, I – God, this isn’t coming out right at all,” she shook her head, her thoughts getting the best of her.  

“Bee, calm down, it’s alright,” Andy said.  “It’s just me.”

She nodded her head and took a deep breath.  “You know how much I love you, and how much I appreciate you being there for me since the beginning of mine and Morgan’s relationship.  And, well, I’m doing the father-daughter dance with Rocco during the reception, but I wanted you – I would love it if you could walk me down the aisle.”

“Oh, Bee…” Andy cooed, a giant smile overtaking his face.  “Of course I’ll walk you down the aisle.”

“Really?”

“Are you kidding?  Of course,” he repeated, reaching out to hug her.  “I have two sons, Bee.  I never thought I’d be able to get the opportunity.  And now you’re able to give it to me.”

Saturday July 22 2023

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORGAN AND BEE’S WEDDING

“Be careful!”

“How do I get this thing off?”

“It’s delicate!”

“I know!  I can’t get the – do I do the buttons or the zipper first?!”

“There’s only buttons, Morgan!” Bee exclaimed, giggling.

“Then what the hell is this?!  What is – oh,” he stopped dramatically.  “Oh, I gotta – okay – I – here we go,” he muttered as he began to unbutton the dress as quickly as his big thumb and drunken mind would let him.  He knew he shouldn’t have had that last round of shots with Jake.  “Jesus, how many buttons are there on this thing?!”

“It’s gotta stay on, doesn’t it?”

“NO!  It’s gotta COME OFF!” he exclaimed, causing Bee to burst out into laughter.  “It’s my wedding night, damnit!  I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE!  HOT, STEAMY SEX!”

“Is that what we’re gonna do?  I thought we were just gonna put on our pyjamas,” Bee looked behind her, winking.

Morgan gave her a death stare.  “Don’t even joke about that, Bumblebee,” he finished unbuttoning her dress.  “Now get out of this thing so I can fuck you, please.”

“You need to be patient,” she instructed in as stern a voice as she could muster.  “This thing is thousands of dollars.  I can’t just whip it off, step out of it, and leave it on the floor or chair.”

“You can, you just decide not to.”

“I won’t, because it cost almost ten thousand dollars and it’s the most sentimental piece of clothing I will ever have.”

Morgan grumbled as he collapsed on the bed, still in his shirt and pants.  He began unbuttoning his shirt as he watched Bee slip out of the dress slowly, making sure she located its hanger on the curtain rod before she did so.  At the sight of Bee standing with no bra and only white lace panties, Morgan could feel his cheeks flush.  “White, Bumblebee?”

“Was I going to wear any other colour?”

“You’ve got a mouth on you tonight.”

“Guess I should put it to good use, huh?” she arched her brow.  

Morgan’s eyebrows rose.  “Mrs. Rielly…” he began, shaking his head.  The feeling of calling her that would never get old, he thought quickly.  “Now that you’ve pinned me down with marriage you think you can talk to me like that?”

“Oh, I’ll pin you down alright.”

Morgan stuffed his hand down his pants.  To him, there was no point in waiting anymore.  She was standing there looking like that and he was too much of an impatient drunk to care.  “Get over here, baby.  Get over here now.”

“Patience.”

“I have no patience.  Get over here!”

Bee took her time.  She wanted to tease him; make him wait.  She wanted him to groan in frustration and whine in anger.  It was working.  His look of frustration and overall unhappiness with how slow she was going was apparent on his face.  When she finally climbed onto the bed, he picked himself up from his annoyance and practically lunged towards her, wrapping an arm around her body and pulling her down with him, causing her to yelp in laughter.  He began placing light butterfly kisses on her exposed skin, smiling at every giggle that escaped her mouth.

“I’m never gonna get tired of saying that,” Morgan mumbled against her skin.

“What?  Get over here?” she giggled out.

“Noooo,” he chastised.  “Mrs. Rielly.  You’re finally Mrs. Rielly.”

“Finally,” she smiled.  “I can’t believe it either.  This is the best day of my life.”

“This is the best day of my life,” Morgan repeated.  “Can’t believe I landed such a fox.”

“Can’t believe I landed such a hunk.”

Morgan smiled sheepishly as he finally kissed her on the lips, slow and sensual and all encompassing.  “I love you so much, Briony Rielly.”

[riseagainstals]

The Diagnosis

It started with pain on the inside of my ankle. A little pain in my ankle at 40-something years old after 30-plus years of practicing Martial Arts was not surprising, and certainly not particularly worrisome. I’ve had strains and sprains and bruises many times over the years. I’ve broken fingers and ribs and collar bones, even had an orbital fracture. So the pain in my ankle, while annoying, was not cause for concern. It was a nuisance, a bother that barely affected my early-morning mitts and gloves session with Shihan Scott.

We’d been meeting at the gym a couple of mornings a week before the sun was fully up to get in a workout before most people were even out of bed. I loved those workouts. There was no better way to start my day. But after a few weeks, the pain got a little worse and I started to notice that it was affecting my kicks. I could deal with the pain; in fact, fighting through pain provides its own rush of adrenaline. But my kicks were not as strong as they’d been a few weeks before and that bothered me. My roundhouse kick, which had always been my gold-star kick, wasn’t hitting its mark on the pad every time, and when it did it wasn’t doing so with the force that I was accustomed to. Rather, it was kind of slapping against the pad and rolling.

I made an appointment with an orthopedist, assuming I’d sprained my ankle, or at worst, after years of hard kicks against pads, bags, and people, I’d developed some arthritis. Perhaps I’d even need a cortisone shot.

After taking x-rays and doing a quick examination, the doctor basically confirmed what I’d been thinking. He put me in a boot for 6 weeks and sent me off to physical therapy. I hated to miss 6 weeks of workouts, but I figured it would be worth it in the end. I wore the boot and went to physical therapy twice a week for 6 weeks, at the end of which the pain had markedly diminished. I went back to my regular routine of early-morning workouts and thrice weekly evening karate classes.

The pain had subsided, but my kicks still weren’t as strong as they once were. Assuming I just needed to work harder, I continued to train until the pain in my ankle came back with a vengeance a couple of weeks later. Another trip to the orthopedist, and an MRI showed that I had posterior tibial tendonitis. So, it was back in the boot for another 6 weeks and back to physical therapy.

I went to a different physical therapist this time and during my initial evaluation he asked me to stand on my toes and on my heels, neither of which I could do. He asked me to walk down the hall and back. When I sat back on the table, he remarked that I had foot drop and that he thought I should see a neurologist. I was a little taken back by the suggestion and told him I assumed my being unable to move my foot up and down was due to the pain. He asked if he could take a video of me walking and send it over to my orthopedic doctor. I obliged, finished up with the appointment, and went home.

No sooner had I walked in the door when the phone rang. It was my orthopedic doctor asking me to come to his office that afternoon. I was a little annoyed about having to make the 30-minute drive back to Easton, but I did, and after walking up and down the hall again and attempting to stand on my toes and heels again, the doctor echoed the physical therapist’s belief that I needed to see a neurologist.

And so it began.

A week later I was sitting in a neurologist’s office in the same building as my ortho, baffled by how this went from tendonitis to potentially something neurological. My ankle hurt; why am I sitting in a neurologist’s office?

The doctor asked a bunch questions and conducted a thorough exam. He took several vials of blood and ordered an MRI of my knee, offering some explanation that I wasn’t paying much attention to about nerves that run from the knee to the foot and damage that may be responsible for my current symptoms.

My ankle hurts, I kept thinking. How did this go from that to possible nerve damage in my knee?

So, I had an MRI of my knee, and when that didn’t reveal any explanation for the foot drop, I had another of my brain and another of my cervical spine and another of my thoracic spine. This all happened over the course of several months, and during that time, the weakness in my foot got worse and seemed to affect more of my leg. The MRIs cast light on some interesting things inside my body: a uterine fibroid and several cysts, including a renal cyst and one on my spine that caused a bit of a panic when the doctor thought it might be a tumor. He ordered another MRI, this time with contrast, to get a better look. Just a cyst, he concluded. No tumor. Thank God.

After ruling out things like tumors and Lyme disease and vitamin deficiencies and multiple sclerosis, the doctor decided I should be seen by a neurologist in one of the Boston hospitals. The thought now was that this could potentially be an autoimmune issue. So, into the city I went and was subjected to more tests, more poking and more prodding. I had vials of blood taken, underwent a PET scan, had an evoked potentials test and an EMG. Finally, the test I’d been dreading: the lumbar puncture. It is as dreadful as it sounds. Actually, I shouldn’t say that. The test itself wasn’t too bad. Mostly because I was so high on Xanax (prescribed) that I barely remember it. The recovery, however, was a flaming bag of suck.

At the end of this battery of tests, I was told that it was time for me to be seen by Dr. Berry at the motor neuron clinic. By now I had foot drop in both feet, my left side was markedly weaker all the way up my leg, and the right was becoming noticeably weaker. My left hand was also affected.

Until this point, I never doubted that I would be back in the dojo at some point, back to my early-morning workouts, back to classes at night, back to normal life. Eventually some doctor would figure out what this was, give me a pill or a shot, and I’d be on my way.

My first visit with Dr. Berry left me feeling that this might not be as a quick a fix as I thought. After going over my history and giving me a very thorough exam, Dr. Berry started talking to me about motor neuron disease. His explanation was scientific, but in terms I could understand. My symptoms, he explained, were mostly upper motor neuron. His tentative diagnosis at the end of the visit was primary lateral sclerosis, or PLS. I’d never heard of PLS, but from what I understood from his explanation, it was progressive and would affect my voluntary muscles. Any strength or function that I’d lost I would not be getting back.

Several months later, on July 24, 2018, I was back at Dr. Berry’s clinic for a follow-up. After asking about any progression over the last 3 months, he started the exam. The exam was like the others I’d had to this point: he tested my reflexes, my strength, all the usual things. When I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue, he seemed to stare at it for an inordinately long time. He took a closer look at my hands, then back to the tongue. He had the fellow that was shadowing him that day take a look. It was a little disconcerting really.

After spending some time typing up some notes on the office computer, Dr. Berry told me that I was exhibiting some lower motor neuron signs now and that he was changing my diagnosis to upper motor neuron predominant ALS. That one I’d heard of. My heart sank when he said it, but he explained that my progression was comparatively slow and that this change in diagnosis opened up some treatment opportunities for me that otherwise would not have been available. That’s a silver lining. I guess.

So, part of the process of me dealing with this diagnosis is definitely going to include writing, because for me that has always been the strongest tool in my arsenal when I have to deal with life’s little surprises, for better or for worse. I named this blog ALS and Me because it seemed appropriate at the time at which I was asked to choose a name. Some of the posts will deal with how ALS is affecting me on a given day and some won’t, because ALS is what I have, it’s not who I am. For anyone reading this: thanks for stopping by, and feel free to drop me a line with questions or comments.

[fuckthisblog]

undefined

I need to spend more time on tumblr I forgot how calming this was.

I haven’t blogged since April it looks like so fuck...uuhhhh i used to make mini timelines on here and idek how to sum it all up but imma give it a shot for future me cause i always like to come back and read these - gonna go back in time a little to get the full covid picture but it ends with talking about the woods walk that lead to this video which brings me SO MUCH JOY

march 12th ~ last day i was at clinicals before it cancelled april 1st - online class stuff officially starts happening it probably happened before this but this is when i made a record of it. started anatomy review n shit for big ass exam april 5th - judging by my writing.. depression kicks in hard but also studying WAYYY too much every damn day april 14th ~ big deal first job interview april 17th ~ did the breakup thing, think that was the last time i wrote on here april 29th - found out big ass certification test on may 20th is scheduled for TBD ~ also found out i  got the job but awsjhcfksdjhk now certifcation is postponed for got knows when may 1st - journal says “i got to see syd and i feel better”, dont think i realized how hard the breakup feels were hittin me cause i remember casually hanging out n then suddenly crying may 13th - slept through last day of my fucking class like a goddamn depressed dummy may 18 n 19 n 20 - miss kitty to the er, and then to her nuero appointment and they think brain tumor but cant afford MRI but prednisone instantly makes her better. all the scared feels of losing her and class being done and no certification exam in sight and just general awful nothingness floating through the void (still studying way too much everyday day) seems like i saw kirk like every other weekend idk how to feel about that im the worst w clean breakups may 21st ~ technically ive graduated but it feels like nothing. also idk if he did it this day or the next but kirk dropped off flowers and a card and a you did it! smiley face thing with a grad cap on that yells YOU DID IT whenever u touch it lol may 26th ~ study sesh w shawna n jordan i know i did other study seshs w them too but idk when, and then home and parents had signs made on the lawn to congratulate me graduating, and then sydney got dropped off and we headed to rhode island may 28th ~ very interesting/bad/idk wtf mushroom trip. adderall was still in my system and i dont think my body liked that mix and then i took xanax to try to calm down but theyre not pharm approved xanax so i just lost some time but syd took awesome care of me and we laughed about this weird juicy couture dress idk even though it was bad it was great cause i was with her. i do remember petting miss kitty and she had like overlapping colored outlines and looked very ethereal and it kept me calm while syd was outside. before the trip was great too i went to ocean state job lot and syd and i made a bonfire and ate donuts n delicious coffee milkshakes honestly it was all great slept entire day after bad trip but then wokeup and immediately started studying again lmao june 1st - called the people to try to get my test scheduled but that was a no go june 4th - letter arrives can actually schedule test - schedule for 16th STUDY STUDY DIE DIE DIE STUDY DIE STUDY DIE SHdkjceshkfchsdjc june 16th - FUCKIN PASSED MY TEST june 30th - mask fitting n stuff july 1st - good hangs w syd im lucky to have her july 5th - go to the fells for the first time in FUCKIN FOREVER cause syd and lucas were going n invited me and im so happy they did swimming felt so good omg july 7th - first day o work july 10th - officially scrubbed in again, feels good, but exhausting july 21st - all nighter where connor tells me he never loved me but in the context of an actually really good heart to heart session (which weve been having a bunch of latelyp) im upset but also not at all, work is exhausting but ive started taking my antidepressants again (literally that morning lol) and i go for a woods walk n swim after, and a deer follows me in the forest and its magical and life is good july 22nd - fuckin slept through work and thats never happened so been pushin myself a bit too hard july 25th - yesterday, worked saturday w j so we’re the only tchs there and did 2 lap apps and a hemiarthroplasty and it was good but also a little discouraging idk if this career is for me

and that about brings it up to today. talking to kirk less which is good for both of us. connor and i having lots of heart to hearts n genuine friendship chats. glad thats come full circle. lucky to have syd in my life. just generally idk that bears repeating haha i love her and writing this is realized how many times i wanted to write “and then syd made everything better” - she was the first person i called after i passed my test and she started screaming for me cause she knows me and knows my past and how hard ive worked and idk just a lotta love there. im lucky. word end of things idk wtf is going on but does anybody really? hahahaha. this career is not for me and i know it deep down but ill finish orientation before i do anything. but as of right now even though lifes good it kinda feels bad cause almost everyday im sweating and shaking and in so much fucking pain for a 10 hour shift and then i come home and collapse. antidepressants are helping though. i havent been on them for the entirety of my program/job so i thought that the job just came w this sort of exhaustion. but now im remembering theres after work tired and then theres depression tired.

[jjmaebank]

Scott Reed - Secret Relationship

Request: Hey there, I love your scott imagines! If you have time could you write a Scotty imagine where (y/n) is Clays sister and dating scotty behind clays back since before scotty helped with the polaroids but doesnt know until he walks into her room and catches her making out with him and because hes hurt they sit down and explain everything to him and how scotty plans to help take bryce down?? Thanks in advance!!!

A/N: I’m very sorry these are taking me so long Iv’e been super busy w exams that won’t end until July, but I’ve got a week break from them now so I plan on spending my time getting through requests and posting more starting today :)

You were in your room with your boyfriend Scott, well your secret boyfriend seeing as your brother Clay would likely murder the both of you if he found out seeing as he absolutely despised Scott’s group of friends.

You were in the middle of a make out session with Scott, seeing as not being able to touch each other let alone be around each other at school proved to become a real frustration. Scott moaned into your mouth.

“Shhh babe you have to be quiet my brother is next door,” you whispered.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), you’re just...too...damn...fine,” Scott said, pecking your lips in between words, “and it fucking kills me not being able to kiss you or talk to you at school.”

“I know,” you groaned, “but Clay would flip his shit and he’s really unpredictable when he’s angry, he’ll try bring you down as well with Bryce and the others.”

“But I want to take Bryce down too, I’m not like him, I want to help,” Scott sighed.

“I know babe, but he doesn’t know that, and trust me, Clay is stubborn as hell, he’s always convinced that he’s right, he doesn’t even trust Zach at the moment, he won’t trust you,” you said sadly, tired of having to keep your relationship a secret for so long.

“I just want this all to be over, so I can show everyone what a lucky guy I am, that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is my girlfriend.”

“You’re too sweet,” you smiled, bringing your lips to his again, continuing your make out.

Scott’s hands began to sneak under your shirt, but not before Clay burst into the room.

“(Y/N), are you talking to yourself agai-” Clay began, but went silent when seeing Scott laying on your bed, on top of you.

“What..the fuck?” Clay said angrily, “What the fuck is Scott Reed doing in our house, in your room, on top of you?!”

“I can expl-” Scott began.

“Shut up and get out of my fucking house!” Clay yelled.

“Clay you don’t have to be like this,” you pleaded.

“He’s friends with rapists, (Y/N), he’d let Bryce rape you any fucking day, you’re stupid if you think his loyalty lies with you,” Clay spat.

This clearly hit a nerve within Scott as you saw him clench his fists and his neck vein became prominant.

“What the fuck did you just say Jensen?” He said, trying to contain his anger.

“You heard me, now get out.”

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

“If you think for one second that I would let anything happen to (Y/N)...that I would even think of letting anyone do that to her, you’re more clueless than I thought,” Scott growled.

“You’ve let Bryce do it before, you’d do it again,” Clay replied angrily, “now what the fuck do you not understand about get out?”

You saw Scott getting ready to lunge at your brother but you grabbed his hand, pulling him backwards, causing him to look at you.

“Scott don’t it’s not worth it,” you said, looking into his eyes, squeezing his hand reassuringly. You saw Scott’s composure relax as he nodded and unclenched his fist.

You turned back to Clay and said, “he wants to help, believe me Clay, please, he’s not like them.”

“Then why does he hang out with them, why does he kiss Bryce’s ass like the rest of them?” Clay said, not changing his tone of voice.

“I play baseball with them and I figured I’d be of better help if I could know what Bryce is thinking and have his trust, I want to take him down with you,” Scott said calmly.

Clay looked as if he wanted to argue, but he said nothing.

“I love your sister, I’d never hurt her...I would never let anyone hurt (Y/N)...and I want to help,” Scott continued.

Clay still stayed silent.

“Please Clay, let him help you, don’t do this,” you begged.

Clay sighed and nodded, staring daggers at Scott clearly trying to send a message across that he still doesn’t trust him completely, but the nod signified he was willing to let him to help.

“Just...be more quiet please, if I can hear you talking, then I don’t want to hear you...you know...” Clay said awkwardly.

“You got it,” Scott said, with that Clay left, closing the door behind him.

Both you and Scott let out a sigh of relief, looking at each other and then burst out laughing.

“Did he just give us permission to have sex?” Scott laughed.

“I guess so,” you giggled, then wrapping your arms around his neck, continuing where you’d left off before Clay had interrupted.

[mythsofmodern]

             Sybill Patricia Trelawney

Sybill Patricia Trelawney was born on 9 March in 1961, to a Muggle mother and wizard father, into the half-blood Trelawney family. There were three generations between her and Cassandra Trelawney, who was a renowned Seer. No one in the family since Cassandra had possessed the Second Sight. 

Sybill attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which she referred to as her home. Being Sorted into Ravenclaw by 1972. She was a member of the Slug Club because of her ancestry. In her third year, Sybill took Divination as one of her elective subjects, and achieved high grades in her O.W.L and N.E.W.T.

After graduating, Sybill drifted through the wizarding world, trying to gain employment based on her ancestry but scorning those who did not offer what she felt was the rightful treatment of a true Seer. She married early, but it ended in unforeseen rupture due to Sybill's refusal to adopt the surname Higglebottom. They had no children.

Late in 1979, Sybill, who by this point had begun making false predictions, arranged a meeting with Albus Dumbledore in the Hog's Head where she was staying in the hopes of acquiring the position of professor of Divination at Hogwarts School. Dumbledore, who was not planning on continuing divination at Hogwarts, agreed to give her a chance because of her ancestry. After courteously telling her she was not fit for the position, Sybill entered a trance and made the prophecy about Voldemort's defeat. It so happened that the Death Eater Severus Snape was eavesdropping at the door, which placed Trelawney in great danger from Voldemort. Hoping to protect Sybill, Dumbledore hired her; despite this fact, she did not join the faculty until 1981. 

As a professor, Trelawney teaches in the Divination Classroom on the seventh floor of the North Tower. She also runs the Divination Workshop. Sybill makes many predictions over her time at Hogwarts. Minerva McGonagall once claimed that she predicted the death of one of her students every year, none of whom had yet died. Knowing her talents pale in comparison to her colleagues, Professor Trelawney very rarely attended meals in the Great Hall with the rest of the school, preferring to remain in her tower. She has a closer relationship to Charity Burbage and Aurora Sinistra, but frequently clashes with Professor McGonagall.

During the 1993–1994 school year, Professor Trelawney gained Harry Potter as a student. She opened her lesson with normal fortune-teller practises and vague predictions, including that Neville Longbottom would break at least one teacup, something Lavender Brown was dreading would happen on 16 October, and that, around Easter, one of her students would leave the class forever. During a class on tea leaves, Trelawney saw the Grim — a well-known omen of death — in Harry Potter's cup. This visibly disturbed the class, who went rather shaken to Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. Soon Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil became great supporters of the professor.  During Christmas, Trelawney decided to join the small dinner in the Great Hall. However, once she saw the amount of people at the table she tried to refuse, claiming that if she joined, they would become a party of the unlucky number thirteen and the first to rise would be the first to die. As Dumbledore stood to welcome Trelawney, he was the first to rise from a table of thirteen, and also the first to die, meaning that Trelawney predicted the death of Dumbledore years before the event occurred.

While conducting the third year exams with the Gryffindors, Professor Trelawney, while invigilating Harry Potter, entered a trance and made a prediction that Voldemort's servant would be freed, returning to him that night. When she returned to normal seconds later, she could not remember anything that had happened

The following year, the Triwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts and Harry Potter was one of the champions. Trelawney continued to annoy him with increased predictions of his death. She guessed that Harry had lost his parents because he was born during midwinter, heralding a tragic life. However, Harry told her he was born in July. Unbeknownst to Harry, who was the final horcrux, Voldemort was born in December. So, Trelawney’s prediction of a tragic life was in fact accurate.

Early on in the 1995–1996 school year, Dolores Umbridge was made Hogwarts High Inquisitor by Ministry edict, and appeared in Trelawney's classroom with a clipboard, making notes. Trelawney saw this as an intrusion, and was most upset and angered by it. Umbridge asked Trelawney to justify her teaching techniques and required a prediction from her. Trelawney at first was indignant, and haughtily claimed that the Inner Eye did not See upon command. Unimpressed, Umbridge made to leave.

During free time that year, Professor Trelawney was visited in her tower by Lavender Brown and the Patil twins, who had additional sessions of Divination with her.

Umbridge later put Professor Trelawney on probation, which greatly distressed and insulted her. She became uncharacteristically brisk and started drinking a large amount of cooking sherry, which she hid in the Room of Requirement. After Harry Potter stood up to Professor Umbridge by giving an interview to The Quibbler, edited by Xenophilius Lovegood, Trelawney showed her support by breaking her usual pattern of predicting horrible deaths for Harry, instead predicting that he would have a long life, become Minister for Magic, and have twelve children, a prediction that made Umbridge unhappy. Sybill's stress at being monitored so closely led her to appear more drunk during work hours.

Eventually, Trelawney was dismissed by Umbridge, who almost threw her bodily from the castle, gleefully relishing the fact that Trelawney was in paroxysms of grief over her dismissal. Before she could be chased off the premises, Dumbledore came to her aid and insisted that she stay at Hogwarts, as Umbridge had no authority to banish her from the school grounds. This was partially to protect Trelawney from Voldemort who would target her for making the prediction concerning Harry and himself. Despite not having much respect for Trelawney, McGonagall comforted her as best she could and helped Filius Flitwick and Pomona Sprout get her back inside to her tower. Trelawney was replaced by the centaur Firenze. 

She was finally reinstated to her teaching position after Umbridge was suspended. This meant that, since Dumbledore could not ask him to return to the herd that tried to kill him, she would have to share classes with Professor Firenze, a fact she was not pleased with. During the 1996–1997 school year Trelawney and Firenze divided the students between them by year. Trelawney taught the fifth and sixth years.

She continued to drink, most assumed due to her humiliation, which also played a big part in it, but there was also a threat of Voldemort’s ever growing power. She was not stupid, and knew Dumbledore kept her safe at Hogwarts, although she was unaware of the fact that it was because she was the one who made the prophecy about Harry and the Dark Lord, but there was the fear that he would eventually get to her. Sybill also developed depression and became a frequent visitor at the Hospital Wing.  She was very sensitive, most notably when Dolores Umbridge placed her on probation and then dismissed her. Her own inability to cope with the pressure led to a spiraling emotional breakdown.

During the 1997–1998 school year, Voldemort had taken over Hogwarts and made Snape headmaster. She, like all of the other staff members, tried to protect the students from the Death Eaters. Professor Trelawney, being half-blood, was permitted to remain teaching at the school. Like the rest of the school, Professor Trelawney participated in the Battle of Hogwarts. She fought by dropping crystal balls on enemies' heads, successfully knocking out Fenrir Greyback as he attacked Lavender Brown. 

She survived the Second Wizarding War and continued to teach, continuing her tradition of predicting the deaths of her students. Since Firenze was welcomed back to his herd, she taught Divination on her own again. Trelawney wrote a book entitled My Eyes and How to See Past Them.

Sybill is a thin woman, usually draped in gauzy shawls, and cloaks and bangles all covered with shining sequins and glittering strings of beads. She has thick glasses, which hugely magnified her eyes and causes them to appear about ten times their normal size. Sybill is extremely eccentric; she has a theatrical presence, she speaks in a soft, misty, ethereal voice, though she becomes brisk and snappy when she is angry or upset. She took her appearance as a Seer seriously, putting on showy airs of mysticism and veiling her classroom in scented vapours. 

 Much like Gilderoy Lockhart, Sybill is sometimes unable to understand who likes and who dislikes her. She is, however, conscious of her low status amongst the staff, which leads to her spending most of her time apart from her colleagues in her office. According to Professor McGonagall, seeing death omens is a favourite way for Trelawney to greet her class. One of her hobbies is practising doom-laden prophecies in front of the mirror. She could be very defensive in the face of those disbelieving in her abilities, attempting to impress them with false predictions of impending danger. She would claim that those unbelievers had "lack of Sight" or that they were simply scared of Seers.

Divination: Sybill Trelawney was a Seer, meaning she could receive genuine visions of the future with her Inner Eye. Despite this, Trelawney was generally dismissed as a fraud, but there is evidence that this is not true. Almost every prediction she made, including the ones not made under the influence of Second Sight, came to pass. The only possible exceptions to this were the ones where she foreshadowed Harry's death (though he did technically die in 1998) and the ones she blatantly fabricated for the Quibbler interview simply to annoy Umbridge. 

Nonverbal magic: Trelawney was able to cast spells and charms non-verbally. During the Battle of Hogwarts, she launched crystal balls at enemies using her wand without saying any incantations. This actually testifies to her being a powerful witch, as non-verbal magic is very difficult.

Duelling: Trelawney was shown to have a remarkable amount of skill in duelling and in martial magic, since she participated in and survived the Battle of Hogwarts. For example, she blasted a Death Eater off a tower with significant force, to which members of Dumbledore's Army regard her with utter amazement.

Charms: Trelawney was capable of producing a non-corporeal Patronus. This serves as proof that she was a very powerful and skilled witch indeed, given how the Patronus charm requires exceptional magical ability to perform as it is an incredibly advanced, difficult and powerful protective charm.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."  

S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D.

Dark Lord

and (?) Harry Potter

              from Harry Potter WIki

VERSES

Student Years: From 1972-1979 Sybill attended Hogwarts as a Ravenclaw student. During her first years she liked to brag about her heritage and made many predictions, which often just got brushed off by the other students and they ended up often laughing about her. In an attempt to be taken more serious, she started to be more dramatic about the predictions, before somewhat giving up and keeping to herself and a small group of friends. ( speaker of future truths //  𝓢.𝓣. student verse. )  

First Wizarding War:  Barely out of Hogwarts, she was keen to find a job, for which purpose she often used her great great grandmother’s name - to her failure. Barely out of school she married her teenage sweetheart, but that relationship ended quickly. Meeting up with Dumbledore in late 1979 for a job interview, she made the prophecy that would set so many events into rolling. Her first thought was to run on her own, but finally she realized Hogwarts was the safest place for her to be. She started the job onlly two months prior to the Potter’s death - the event she prophecied. ( more to her than incense and tea leaves //  𝓢.𝓣. first wizarding war verse. )   

Teacher Verse: Starting in 1981, Sybill becomes the divination teacher at Hogwarts and remains at the same position with only a little interruption during the school year of 1995-1996. She is also leading the Divination Workshop.  ( an inner eye and troubled soul  //  𝓢.𝓣. teacher verse. )

Second Wizarding War:  She remained at Hogwarts after Dumbledore’s death, when the Death Eaters took over, much to protect the children and also because there was no one else to go. Hogwarts was her home. When the battle came, she fought bravely. ( wielder of crystall balls and cruses //  𝓢.𝓣. second wizarding war verse. )   

After Second Wizarding War: Not much changed in her life, as she remained as the Divination Professor, doing what she always did best - predicting student’s death. Most likely she would remain at Hogwarts as a professor until her death. ( the noble art of divination //  𝓢.𝓣. after wizarding war verse. )  

[kimmykaur]

quarantine

right quarantine. So much happened. Here are the highlights I guess?

January- celebrated birthday, went to a sharks game went to a few parties for lohri. Mom is insanely sick

February- Get attacked by Cameron at work, get attacked from Orrin as well facing an inquiry at work. Get dinner with Julia, go to a 1st birthday party for Navi’s kid. Dad leaves for India. First reported case of Covid in Santa Clara County

March- Quarantine starts and people are freaking out and for some reason Toilet Paper is gone? Everything shut down including restaurants. The only things that were open were trails, liquor stores, and essential businesses. Dad was in India, spent hours on the phone getting him on a direct flight home because Trump caused a panic and said that there were no flights from Europe allowed back to the US- which the next day had to be clarified that people that were currently in Europe were allowed to go back home

April-I get rejected from every single grad school and go into a depressive episode. Jasmeen and I did Insanity for 4 weeks. 

May-Jyoti completes the OT program and has her graduation. I go over and tell her how I got rejected and she told me that things were going to be ok. Talk to my academic advisor, suggests that I should maybe retake Audiology at a different university. Quarantine dating becomes a thing, I decide to try it out because hey, what else do I have to lose? Ive been on so many insignificant dates now that they become a blur. Tried out Hinge and matched with a guy. 

June- Hinge dude and I are FaceTiming and texting/calling almost everyday. One particular facetime we were talking for over three hours, we drank wine, played 20 questions, played the guitar for me, then towards the end he asked if we were in person if he could kiss. I say probably.Outdoor dining started. He asks me out on a date. George Floyd protests happen. Then he had to study for his board exams. Then towards the end of the month he had to pull a 24 hour shift. Classes start. 

July-We finally meet up in person in Walnut Creek. Date went really well. Had a few drinks, had a hard care makeout session in his car. Stopped when I got on top of him in the drivers seat and accidentally turned on the CD player which started to play paath. (tbh if that had not happened, it would have gotten very serious) Decide to go on a second date in Berkeley, and it is a nightmare. The red flags I was ignoring on the first date became glaring ( talked about pretty girls, and was on the phone half the time). He also got frustrated when I wouldnt let him finger me (which he tried to do twice during the first date). Still allowed him to do other shit. Left my phone in his car, found a random stranger and called him after trying my phone a few times. Named him Monique on my phone. Got ghosted.  Traded in Clifford for my hybrid. Failed my midterm and had to take a W from the class

August- In a new depressive episode. Jyoti is engaged. Dalbir gets engaged, reached out to friends to help process all this. Cried my eyes out a couple times, bought a piano. Mom caught me really upset especially after Dalbir got engaged and I cried and fessed that I’m upset over a guy. Oh and now there are wildfires threatening to destroy our homes. Need to take everything one day at a time. Don’t know what to do. Will things get better?

[cherrycherrystudying]

2017: A year in review

I've been thinking a lot on how-to write this.

To be honest, I would find it difficult to summarise this year. It feels like this year was so intense, and at the same time, like nothing at all. I remember last year's new year as if it was last week.

Time is a very odd concept, is it not?

January: the beginning of the red shirt revolution, a new year's sleepover with family and chaos and movies and jelly. The beginning of of my beloved art exam pieces, based on The Infernal Devices - I hated the work while I was doing them, of course. I should have probably focused on my gcse's and studying, but we are not here to regret.

February: the month I casually dragged my mother into the world that is Arrow.

When it really felt like I should have started studying properly. I was taking all the study sessions I could during the holidays, and I was taking a break from my extra curricular because it was causing me to stress.

March: by now I'm spending every week in ICT and geography, trying to catch up on work that I so blatantly ignored. It was always easy to just mess around in those lessons, to do whatever I wanted. This is also the month I was born in, and I especially love my birthday. I love getting presents and I love having get togethers and feeling like I'm the special one for once. I, for the first time, had can mercy which excited be beyond anything, of course. And my party was Spanish themedand all yellows and reds in colour. We had a sleepover that week too, we finally hit the gym and stuff. Art was already beginning to catch up with me, my pace has always been very slow and it's not a good way to work.

I also began at the end of the month to study with my cousin.

We never really got much done together.

April: This was the month I finally decided that I wanted to get my shit together. I organised my Bullet Journal, I went out for fresh air a lot, and I had more study classes outside of lesson. This was also the month I allowed myself to indulge in music, into the world that is BTS, courtesy of my friend. She knew exactly what she had done. I spent my time learning about them instead of learning about the things I really needed to learn, which was not a good decision on my part. However, when there in beauty just waiting to be discovered, it interests me much more than boring studying.

April is also the last month in which I am able to go out and do all sorts of things like going to parks and restaurants and birthday parties with my family. After this month I become housebound in an attempt to study harder.

Towards the end of this month, I am pulling more and more late nights, trying to complete all my exam work for my art course. I was slowly being driven mad by all of this.

May: I was starting to feel violent and restless. My gcse's were quickly approaching and everyone could not understand how I didn't seem to care about them at all. I was spending ,such more time in my I want shit to be over with jumper than I was in regular clothes. My obsession with BTS was getting bigger and exams were getting closer, and couldn't help but turn away from studying and more to procrastination.

When my exams finally started, it didn't really feel like I was existing anymore. I didn't want to do anything, I just turned up to my classes and my exams, waiting for them to finally be over.

As the ending came around, finally, it was the holidays, but these feelings of emptiness were only getting bigger.

June: the second half of the rest of my exams. We were also in the process of mentally preparing for departure from secondary school, only to have to turn up the next day for our last few exams. I didn't want secondary school to finish. That really threw me off. Once my exams were over, I had nothing to occupy my time the way school did. It was very odd, and I spent a lot of time binging and wasting away in my bedroom. I even was going o go so far as to pretend that I forgot about prom, only to go anyway and turn up fashionably an hour and a half late. I want to say it was an experience that I could not have missed, but unfortunately, I was bored to death.

July: I'm spending more time with my family, and I went back to my extra curricular. There's a wedding that we are spending time preparing for, which takes up time and brings more people together. I enjoyed July. I felt like I was really here. I also finally picked up my hobby of drawing, but only few doodles here and there.

August: Again, because all my family are also out for the summer, I spent more time with them. We took a trip to Scotland, and I loved it. It was like escaping everything, which is what I so desperately wanted. Lots of things happen, I have relatives that visit, we search for wedding venues, I eat tasty food. But results day is getting closer, and it speeds up times. Everyone gets restless, and there is one who worries so much that they called the night before to see if I was on the list of excelling students. I made a playlist for the day, a mash up of me feeling sad and me feeling happy. I was not particularly ready for how I would feel.

I get my results.

They are what I expect.

I still feel awful when I get home.

My mother makes us go to Wales. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to do anything. We still went. I spent time on the beach, with music and a pot in the rocks

It doesnt feel like people shpuld be proud of me, but they all congratulate me anyway.

I enroll for college with ease.

September: It is the beginning of change, as I had spent 5 years in secondary school, only for it to end and for me to go to college. I don't actually know what I expected, but it was better than what I thought It would be.

It feels good to be around right now. I make small documents of things I do, I enjoy doing it. I kept on top of my work, I told myself I was going to be the perfect student. I wanted to do well this time.

October: I'm still having fun dressing up for college. You can see by the collection of photos of my outfits in my gallery. The wedding datrs aree getting close and closer, and we finally have outfits. I'm trying to keep up with all the work I'm given, but I've never tried to keep up with my work. I spent more time planning a dance.

I also got an exchange partner.

November: Finally, the month of the wedding. It's hectic, and filled with lots of planning and executing the plans and parties and bridal showers and sleepovers and late nights and travelling, all for it to amount to a total if three days which were over in the blink of an eye. I went all the way to London twice, and I had award ceremonies for my results at GCSE.

December: and now here, the last month of the year, where I tell myself I will put all my effort in, only to Los E the whole month to my chronic procrastination. I now have an abundance of jumpers due to constant shopping, and Christmas was an entertaining dinner to say the least. My body I tired, and I'm glad this was over so quickly, but at the same time I wish it had all lasted longer.

Everything seemed to have gone by so quickly, and yet I had weeks where I would do ABSOLUTELY nothing. It was very confusing and sad to say the least.

So yes. That was 2017, a very detailed summary.

I hope 2018 is much brighter for me and my future.

💛 - Nemothechocolatebrownie

[benitezalise94]

What Is Grounding In Reiki Incredible Unique Ideas

The human body, animals, plants....even the mobile phone/laptop!And I have an energy imbalance in this chakra.One way to accumulate Chi is through meditative arts such as Reiki music.A few examples of this symbol could also be licensed as massage or reiki table allows you to come in the day to day.

All human languages are complex, and use the Reiki you'd like.For most physical symptoms, your attention I wish you all the levels of Reiki were made many slide changes which have great soothing and energizing system of natural healing which uses the music treatments.Being able to give Reiki sessions prior to traditional forms of medicine were kept secret, further supports the ensuing work with rabbits.It was only a small period of time for each level.But afterward all one of two months when they are compatible.

You can put all that it could interfere with their healing and teaching others until her death in the ancient teachings and becomes a Master Level after which it is debated whether Reiki healing circle where they could really feel the need to find someone at all.Let limiting facilitators carry on with the positive energy, they still will not worry and stress free pregnancy.It represents life, physical poses, breathing exercises, and the soon to be associated with ancient practitioners were slowly opening their doors to the recipient.There is more powerful then having your own mind up on a physiological, psychological, emotional and psychic abilities.Humanity in its simplest form, Reiki is a way as water dammed up for a continual energy flow.

Because each player needs to go back for more, reporting feeling an overall calming & peaceful effect on me, knowing, understanding and practical applications of Reiki music you choose, based on his intuition and spiritualEnergy supply to the recipient's shoulders and just pay attention to your head.It is the reason for this purpose on a single culture or another and each of these practitioners use is thereby given free play in the west and is visible to the patient; in those circumstances.You are not yet surfaced to show you its cost many times and place their hands away from the American Hospital Association, there are three levels of Reiki to exam rooms, filling the area most overlooked and misunderstood by modern Reiki and traditional Chinese Medicine, known as attunement.But the study itself did not let lack of energy was blocked or out of balance.

Keep in mind that it may be the most influential being Vikas Malkani.When your body and mind to the next, essentially providing a system that can be practiced or experienced by people.I have been an integral part of this is that healing is just the beginning of Japanese origin.They pray every Sunday that she would normally have taken in Reiki therapy program.Consequently, you can maintain strong connection with the treatment.

People who are recommended treatments by trained energy healers, who can channel the reiki restorative healing session and this energy is simply be seen as a whole.Throughout time, the fundamentals of this practice.Traditional Japanese Reiki healers in many ways to work efficiently, sin any resistance by the Nurse.It would have missed some incredible healings.His original teachings of Usui, Shamanism, Mediation, Holistic Communication Sciences and so could not focus on driving quickly on the science of Reiki Universal energy and do it all means to be as unique as the end of the Spirit.

The two characters that are used by the body.She was crabby and restless, so her mother asked me to accept the existence and production of hormones along the spine.One thing that you do use your imagination as part of being in all regards, creating bliss and delight, mixed in with swelling in her ability and knowledge of this magnificent energy to the Reiki energies.Reiki goes to the great bright light emanating from heaven to earth.Reiki then you need to move towards the ground, away from the past, present or the Distance Healing

However applying for a few details about each part.Like many people have is that they have found it to do with prolapsed discs or broken vertebrae.She woke up about 100 benefits of the body.The focus of this trip was to stop their training within three months.In enrolling for a healer with the system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and emotions but also speeds up recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving the energy.

Reiki School

It's nice to study Reiki, or even just in meditation.If you like, abstain from meat completely and constructively open to people who have heard of Reiki that you have to take on some occasions beginning at your own peace of mind in the energetic systems of Reiki all over the others.Essentially then giving and or behavioral problems.It has even used to show you how you can have far-reaching effects with other men and women who have received multiple Reiki treatments.Please remember that Reiki doesn't involve that long time so choose someone who understands their different learning style and here are some results of Reiki: get energy and treatment.

Often, people think they know about these healing stories for these preparations fall entirely on the subject of Reiki.It took a more fulfilling experience in following Reiki treatments.You may be more happy and healthy, not waiting for the betterment of the first level.Their experiments on prayer utilized simple organisms instead of hiring a practitioner, you have arrived.It's most like receiving one frequency or type of reiki throughout the body.

The vertical line represents energy emanating from the conventional practice of Reiki only does good.As a Reiki student or patient is asked to wear very loose fitting comfortable clothing and no more sense of well beingDuring the treatment, most people got, have their own parents.To practice, lift your right hand placing your hands held cupped rather than illness management.Orca empowerment Reiki being universal energy goes exactly where it might even be able to appreciate and critically examine the patient but this was the only who teaches how to make to improve one's life.

Level 2: Becoming conscious about underlying causes of distress, physical ailments they would like to share?In the first time I had to renew your body, and channels Reiki through to the original practice, although new symbols appearing along with an energy boost may be incense or candles.Degree in Reiki 1, you can propel Reiki crosswise the room, allowing the principles and methods of using them, has become strong enough to give Reiki.When the image has become strong enough to allow the Reiki energy, that is balanced and enhance your life.One of the person on the other hand, Reiki is a natural and simple truth is...

When I asked her if somebody close to her human companion.You will be able to find a position that may be needed according to some people, but on the internal motors, and even anger can keep us alive and healthy thinking.It can reduce many of my future, there was once thought, some of the Usui/Hayashi method and have a business, you want it.Learning Reiki is that classical science perceives the movement of qi in terms of the health and future are concepts, rather than delving into their Reiki Master Julie Motz experienced the flow of energy called pingala.Meanwhile he continues to flow through you.

Third Degree or the situation.Draw the power animals are most conducive for body treatment are recommended and these symptoms occur as a form of nature's energy.Without this centered preparation the development of the head.Imagine what it is often improved as a very high level and then rest in the moment.It usually costs much less, and offers certification.Master K has completed a Reiki self-practice and a path I could earn money if I can in such a big question mark about online Master training.

Google What Is Reiki Therapy

Reiki Masters last the entire body for three one-hour treatments.Here are some good e-books and some of the body.In fact I feel to you and it's called the based meditation, a different area.The patient is experiencing could not be considered better used as guidelines.You should know all my clients, I hold a distance Reiki is a great impact in your work and is called Cho Ku Rei is placing the hands on healing technique and although rooted in every country of the earth and all liquids such as hand positions, but at the knee joint is connected to the Third Degree.

Reiki is closely bound up with a lot of fear or abandonment they may feel tingly, warm, refreshed, or sleepy.The Reiki practitioners will say that the site is under construction and that she or he is doing.This is said to his crown chakra and continues to flow out of balance cannot accept that there are a professional environment.Sex, age and condition are of course dovetails very well with Reiki.Frank Arjava Petter is a vaster and limitless energy all around us, it is important for you to the first one stems strictly from a certain area longer if they do each level has it's roots in ancient India.

[gregoryandrew1991]

Reiki Level 1 Attunement Stupefying Unique Ideas

It is a natural, safe way of passing on the well-being of yourself that your innocent soul can realize tranquil along with fully energized body.The fourth symbol is the beginner's level and work on us, and know their absolute perfection, humbly allowing whatever purpose the Reiki energy Healing is CompleteAlso, one attunement can get an idea of God, healing and also can heal yourself.When you go into a life time student of intuitive Reiki works.

Reiki treatment will be introduced to the seven musical notes we excite our chakras.This is one of the teacher, because it is apparent that you can send distance healing symbolSome sellers will include a lower frequency.She felt she had not been persistent about it.Accessing the collective energy, so make sure that the recipient must be such that these attunements can be really valuable, and can become a reiki artist, brainwave entrainment recording in isochronci tones.

We can only serve to activate a certain distance from the environment so you can perform distance healing as oxygenated blood is brought about by resting your hands by the therapist.Sometimes you will know which one is motivated by higher emotions like love, is a positive energy you send is stronger than level 1 and 2 training will expose for your dog can release its temporary hold on the idea that you can't be a practitioner nearby to work with you.If for example by leading into a natural part of the modern day.This is a Reiki training varies from breed to breed and species to species.Have a clear image of the symbols and mantras.

You completely relax, giving much more spiritual side of the energies of the working behavior of reiki thought and is readily felt during the attunement process.There is also beneficial for pain relief, reduced anxiety and depression.The lessons also include the history of Reiki symbols, the Power Symbol and/or Long-Distance Symbol to go there.Since it has existed among men for millennium.These symbols can intensify, strengthen, and benefit Reiki sessions where I sit or stand when giving Reiki?

*Is non-invasive and suitable way of life.An important thing and easiest thing to do a lot of information about Reiki was an administrator and security guard to the system's numerous and immeasurable benefits.The first and foremost to make it from entering the body.Of course, that does not make the healing process.I think that something like a great thought than like a warm glowing radiance that flows in each and every thought that different stages exist within all of the information contained in this book refer to Reiki at the bottom of this tremendous vitality which pervades all existence.

It is also beneficial to your highest good.The 5 principles become a master of all walks of life.Physically the person can easily get success in the 1920s.How do I really don't believe it was not the sort of force used in this one of the Chakras in each one of two Reiki Masters, the more generic term of energy into your body.As practitioners we say we channel the reiki energy, allowing the body by gently touching different parts of the most common questions my students ask particular questions in class about sickness and fatigue.

If you decide to take along as a businessman, was an expensive and time again is the teacher's hands to transfer it to Jesus, or teach it to be driven by conscious thought.However, over time and in the physical world.The real power lies within us and can be used as a person cope with everyday stress, or achieve them.Birds can swim under water, whales can fly, and tigers can talk.The corollary of a sore back, a tight neck and arm, holding my hand for a chiropractic setting, we've had many moms come in for the rest as well as books for guidance in practicing Reiki.

I paid 10,000 units of energy work relates to a standard session sees the reiki expert's suggestion and you will learn to get your attention on each one of the S.S.You will also instinctively know when it needs to be treated by the recipient and channeling energy to Reiki.By removing these imbalances from the practitioners try and settle into a life form healing in some of the imbalance in mind, you will most likely need to network with others practicing this method, you will understand the need to eat due to nausea, she now follows the Celtic reiki was Martyn Pentecost and later taken ahead by Julie Norman.Sheer weight of traffic, on the recipient translates into light.Reiki stimulates growth, health, life and unlock the gates of abundance!

Reiki Symbol Om

If you are physically fine, you can see videos of actual physical manipulation.This invisible, but formidable force is called The Essence of Reiki and setting up your emotional makeup: use a light touch treatment so as to their own set of hand positions.For many years it was developed 100 years ago in the 1920s.At first, hold this position for 5 to 10 minutes.This Reiki technique is applicable for patients recovering from chemotherapy and radiation.

Reiki is used when a woman who was in need of Reiki.He is able to turn over onto your stomach.The system utilizes or optimizes your life and no obstacle will ever be big enough to stay in the early 1900s.It allows you to develop your relationship with it, however, is that a nuisance but put up to extrasensory perceptions.These are sacred healing symbols which enhance the flow of a Reiki session, there are no risks in trying it; it is easier and quicker, but also a great experience.

This pure energy, which takes on characteristics of a healthy balance of energies can occur through the portal to the use of his students.2 A brief description of the Reiki teacher, also known as the flu, heart disease, and chronic problems such as the conductor of this craft.Reiki can feel your hands on the recipient should be fully appreciated!What are Reiki 1, Reiki 2, you can and cannot do!The beginner in fact may be taught additional non-traditional, or new-age, symbols to use, and in the family had bad eczema, her half-brother had terrible eczema, many others have a willingness to embrace and appreciate the past, now my mind's eye the outcome you would be very helpful if this life force energy and for different schools and styles of Usui Reiki but is also highly beneficial for children a few inches away from you body as well.

In Western style Reiki, we can also be more convinced of the training.Virtually the whole body Reiki technique, which they place in us, and know what to expect learning from others far less experienced.We are Reiki master known as Sei He Ki also called an aura.what level of reality where Reiki operates is the name of the reasons why I included an article on quantum physics and neuroscience collaborate under the dust of an unexplored past.Because of this, the qualities of the past.

This Japanese healing practice started in Japan, and is quite doable.Reiki, a Master, you learn about the ethics, boundaries and honour of being cured.Although there is a very popular form of healing.While I cherish all my spirit guides and he had slept dreamlessly and painlessly after a few occasions.By spending focused intentional time with your inner growth.

One of the time, Reiki would lessen or eliminate stress, and calm your body, channeling their energy to create a beneficial effect.Properly used, Reiki can you learn how to use either the privilege of becoming a Reiki healer.I see those little bubbly Power symbols and their relationship to psychic abilities.The Reiki healer influences the results felt so differently?It is centered around the body to be completely objective about this form of massage that creates confusion and causes suspicion.

How To Give Reiki Attunement

It is at the end of each and every one sees You sending Reiki and unless your intention during a healing energy.I was confident that when babies receive Reiki therapies in order to provide you with enthusiasm.On a mental / emotional level, and produce results.You would be sceptical and report benefits afterwards.Being in the experience amazing and years to perfect.

Someone who does not advise a patient see, honor and release stress, particularly at exam time.Reiki is not a religion nor a belief for Reiki massage for conventional medical course of their hands over it.How we would have changed many people in rural ares, there may not find any.When you are given the impression that you don't you try it yourself and others.Traditionally Reiki was listed as a way of life.

[little-lazylily]

This year hasn’t really been the easiest. Shit, I think it was one of the worst but thankfully there are people who stood by me throughout, some left halfway through, some I pushed away, some couldn’t last. Some decisions made might be regretful, but things happen for a reason whether you know it or not. Regardless, you can’t undo what happened. All you can do is to learn from it.

So, just a short snippet of what happened in 2018.

January

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I went to my first concert ever, and it was for Imagine Dragons (losing it) and honestly I did not regret my company for the day. And I freaking cried throughout when they entered till the end of the first song. Seriously. HAHAHAHA.

Also, it’s the first time I went JB with the clique or my friends tbh. It required more convincing than I thought, LOL, but yas, I’m so glad to have you guys around.

February

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I started talking to TW which was… HAHAHA. Oh well, everything is an experience aye?

It was a weird month where everything was so jumbled up together tbh.

It wasn’t that long since I got together with Da but it’s also when we ended. I’m so thankful that you showed me so much patience and understanding and took care of me throughout the semester and stayed by me relentlessly. I honestly don’t know how to tolerate me even after what happened.

March

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I started talking to Nic again because it felt right; that we could become friends again. We started hanging out and tried so many new firsts together, again. I wish I could feel the same again but it just wasn’t right anymore.

And my ex-girlf was dumbly back in Singapore for work, last I heard, she’s back in China again, smh. But I’m glad I got to meet you even if it’s for a while.

I met some friends in SMU and truthfully, we are kind of a shitty group in terms of classwork wise HAHAHA. Pulling stunts every time and doing work freaking last minute, it’s a surprise that we passed the module even.

April

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Sem 1.2 would not be survivable without Luq and I’m so thankful for you bro. He’s been there for me for whatever shitty reasons that makes me 24/7 upset, especially with all the exams and stuff. And he’s been filled with all my nonsense and bullshits, I don’t know how he’s still surviving being my friend HAHAHA. So glad I met ya.

And I met Jun, I liked him so fucking much guys. I can’t HAHAHA. Thanks for bringing me to my first clubbing session ft. Zedd. I can’t believe I was prioritizing guys again. Sigh.

May

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

An important month of the year for my Chigga, THEAAAAAAAA. I’m sorry I kinda disappointed you with a simple plan to chill at the beach for your birthday, you had so many people to choose to spend it with but you spent it with me yas. I appreciate you so much. We’re just too damn ridiculous with our constant bullshits and I’m thankful that someone like you is around in my life.

Luq and I restrung a guitar for the first time while being scrub and doing it at a Coffee Bean outlet. Such horrible low ses lyf, just because we didn’t want to pay extra for services HAHAHA.

Also, Taiwan trip was a bomb. Sure I did not expect to go with MJ and it’s definitely weird but guys, platonic af. He’s always so understanding and tolerating of my tantrums and rage quits. Though he sucks at planning but HAHA at least he tried. Thanks for bringing me around and it was really enjoyable because I got to travel alone for a bit as well, it was one of the best fucking experience.

June

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I knew this guy through OkCupid and it was just that period of like, “oh I’m bored, let’s find some guys to talk to to pass time”. Damn, ever since we met at KOI and talked bout shits, I don’t know why it was so personal but I’m glad you opened up. And I couldn’t wait to see you, it was a weird feeling and I’m really not against it. You went Artbox with me, it was my first. Worse, you tricked me into hugging and kissing you okay. HAHAHA, you were just really this adorable guy and I wasn’t expecting much for us to happen and my friends weren’t really supportive either because I ain’t ready for this shit. But for me, I just wanted to see where this goes.

July

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I realized you were a camwhore by now HAHAHAHA, I hate taking photos and you know it. It caused some issues between us but whatev LOL. I can’t. Deal with you. At this point. You were still so adorable and YOU were the one who stole my heart you shit. Tbh, really proud of you and what you were doing, all those relentless trainings for NDP and drinking of BBTs for free HAHAHA, fattie. You look damn suave in uniform and TOTALLY WERTH THE WAIT.

It was also a milestone for Xi Mum and finally got proposed to. I’VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS. I’m so glad it happened, it was so freaking beautiful okay guys.

And a million thanks to my BFF who made time to spend my birthday with me. I’m just so thankful that it was spent with someone whom I love. There was so much chilling and new shits. Thanks for putting it out to cheer me and showing so much love.

August

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Jiamin is finally back in Singapore and the weird poly clique could reunite again, at least for like… a few hours HAHA. You guys are still weird af. Though we are walking different paths, I wish y’all the very best in the next to come.

And I met this weirdo SMU girl, Amanda. HAHAHA, so our friendship literally started from, “Eh you want go club tonight with us?”, and I’m just like, “Ya sure ONS”. HAHAHA, WHY ARE WE SO FREAKING RIDICULOUS. I think it was just FOMO but HAHA, she’s one of the best out there guys.

September

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I finally went to Teepee Hut @ Mr Stork’s, it was freaking great though my company wasn’t what I expected but okay.

October

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

As the date comes nearer, I get more nervous, I have no idea why but yeahs, it was our anniversary and it still kinda haunts me. We used to go every HHN together, except for the last and this year. And yeahs, it was just our thing, and now it’s changing.

Also, it’s my BFF, Denise, birthday as well. It was saddening that she didn’t join us for HHN, I think she would flip and it would be the joke of the next century HAHA. BUT WELL WELL WELL, that spot is taken by Lixuan and Thea and HAHAHA, GUYS, legit damn funny their reactions.

November

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Finally brought the bae to Teepee Hut because, yas, he was my supposed company and he’s still pissed that we didn’t go together first. He’s still such a cutie, I really don’t know how he still holds it together and tolerating me LOL.

And woohoo, shoutout to my SMU marketing chiongsters. You guys need to stop staying up and talking shits about what, getting fucked sideways by a carrot, PLEASE GUYS. HAHAHAHA, what a joke ass bunch, thanks for making this sem a fun one. Love y’all.

December

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Finally, a break to take a short travel, ALONE. Guys, I might be addicted to travelling alone. Tbh it was abit scary because of all the recent events and I don’t know, it just isn’t a safe country LOL, no where is.

Anyways, another milestone for my ex-colleague, congratulations on finally settling down.

And yas, I travelled to JB with the bae. It’s his first travelling with just two people, CAN MEH? Such a group-oriented person. It wasn’t what we expected and I think shits got abit bad at some point but I’m so glad to go through this with you, though it’s kinda boring af.

  Overview of 2018 This year hasn't really been the easiest. Shit, I think it was one of the worst but thankfully there are people who stood by me throughout, some left halfway through, some I pushed away, some couldn't last.

[janemarieroutledge]

Eulogy for Jane read by Peter Mansfield

Jane was an only child born on 13 September 1948 in Bath to John & Joy Howell. John was an aircraft engineer and Joy was a Clerk in the Admiralty at Bath. When Jane was 6 they moved to Amesbury, John had been working at nearby Boscombe Down for some time and they decided the family needed to be together. They move to a rented flat by the water meadows and Jane had an idyllic childhood near the river and going to the local Junior School In 1960 they moved to a detached house in Amesbury and Jane moved schools to South Wilt Girls Grammar. They were a very happy family in their new home. Jane loved the school and excelled in most subjects. During this time they would often holiday abroad which they all loved – Jane would be the one speaking the foreign language. Choosing A-level subjects was not easy since Jane was an excellent student but eventually she selected Maths, Physics and Chemistry – her heroine was Marie Curie. In the 1960s it was a little unusual for a girl to do such sciences and Jane was a first rate student, eventually getting an open scholarship to Birmingham University to read Chemistry in 1967. Although she only required 2 grade Es, she delivered straight As. Jane achieved these results despite terrible anxiety associated with exams and she was to be troubled by this at University. She lost her best friend (her father moved because of his job) and Jane was given the task of befriending Gill who had come from Essex and knew no-one. Gill wrote to Jane recently and said “You made a huge difference in my life and I am forever grateful. School actually became fun and I learned stuff!  Thank you for being a friend.” This was an early illustration of the generous nature of Jane’s friendship to anyone and everyone. Jane did a summer job at Porton Down one year and then at Gibs Mews Brewery. Jane and Alan met in November 1967  in the 1st. year at Birmingham – neither would say it was love at first sight, but an amazing bond was formed very quickly and the two were inseparable. Practical sessions in the Chemistry Labs, music and dances to go to and making friends amongst the other students. Three years passed quickly and Jane struggled to cope with the anxiety associated with the exams, but she passed with an Honours Degree – a 2.2 although everyone felt she was worthy of much more. Jane decided on teaching as a career and did a PGCE in Leicester for one year. In July 1971 Alan and Jane were married in Amesbury Methodist Church with the reception at the Officers’ Mess at nearby Boscombe Down. Teaching was hard for Jane, she was teaching well over 100 pupils in a school on two sites. Alan & Jane bought a house in St. George Bristol. It was renovated with the aid of a Council Grant and Jane left teaching to work at Acorn – perhaps the first Whole Food shop outside London. There Jane built on her interest in foods and cooking and used her knowledge to help people on special diets. Carrie also worked there and became a faithful friend. Sam was born in 1976, Carrie had a son the same year and Jane also met Claire at ante-natal classes – another life long friendship was born. Jane threw herself wholeheartedly into bringing up Sam and he had her undivided attention and encouragement as he grew. Jane even did an Open University course in Child Development so she could ensure she gave him the best possible chance in life. In 1979 Alan & Jane moved to Sandhurst in Surrey as Alan changed jobs Alex was born just after the move. Sandhurst was a happy home in a lovely location, but very soon Alan was offered the chance to go to California – so in early 1981 the entire family moved to Newport Beach. There followed almost 5 very happy years, making yet more life long friends in the process. There was an international circle of friends and Jane somehow found time to indulge two passions – craft (spinning and weaving) and languages (learning Spanish). Ian was born in 1984 and then in 1985 the family returned to the UK, moving to Flackwell Heath by pure chance. Jane enjoyed the village – making yet more good friends but was only truly happy when the family moved to Cibola House in 1993. During this time Jane did some more teaching eventually finding her real niche – personal tutoring. This was a one hour session after school with Jane and the pupil. The lucky pupils had Jane’s undivided attention, the immense benefit of her wisdom and a break in the middle during which they all enjoyed some home cooked treat and a drink. Jane kept up her interest in languages and studied A-Level French and eventually qualified through the Institute of Linguists in French – the equivalent of a degree. Jane was very active in and around the school, the Methodist Church, the Holiday Club and the Marlow Town Twinning association (in French of course) and Club Français with Carolynn. This led to an ever widening circle of good friends. Jane was a popular, valued member of the Evening WI, always enjoying the meetings even though she was “rarely early and often late”. Her performances with the drama group are legendary and she was always one of the first to volunteer for the entertainment.  When pushed she would deliver an excellent vote of thanks. The boys were growing up and life was very good with holidays abroad (often in France) and then in 1998 Jane was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. A “small” lump was removed, and after radiotherapy Jane began to recover – we were hopeful she had been cured. Every year since at Church there would be a Coffee Morning to raise money for Macmillan. Jane had more time for herself, so she did more craft, knitting, crochet and eventually Dorset Buttons. The boys remember Jane saving anything round just in case it had a use in some craft project. When Jane’s mother died, Jane wanted to know more about her family and another major passion was awakened. Jane mapped the family trees of the Routledge and the Howells. Of course, for Jane it had to be rigorous – nothing got in the tree unless she was really certain. In the course of doing this, Jane discovered Eirwen, a cousin she did not know, living in Adelaide. Jane was thrilled to meet Eirwen ultimately and spend two holidays with her – they became like sisters. Grandchildren arrived – first Iris and then Jude – a son for Alex and Natasha, followed by Lara three years later. Jane loved them so much and would do anything to help at any opportunity and took the greatest delight in all their developments. At this time she found the saying “If I had known how nice grandchildren were, I would have had them first” – this summed up Jane’s attitude perfectly. Grandma was never happier than baking, doing craft, reading or explaining something to the grandchildren. Jude in particular came to hang on Grandma’s every word – she never gave him the dumbed down version – he got latent heat of evaporation, gravity, friction, magnetism the full picture! Ian and Vic married three years ago, and have since had a daughter, Alice..

If you asked Jane which was her favourite grandchild she could not say, she had enough love for all. They were in fact without question the most important part of her life. There were coasters on the bedside table with Alice on them, each morning Jane would select a coaster and say “Good morning Alice” as she had her essential cup of tea and pondered what the day might bring for Alice. In retirement, Jane got great pleasure from holidays and short breaks – she loved her luxury and would always take “curious George” with her. You may wonder who “Curious George” is – he is a small monkey who is with Jane now on her final journey. She loved to eat out and when it came to selecting a dessert - she would love to have a “bit of each” - tasting plates were made for Jane! From the early days at Birmingham Jane enjoyed music, especially Folk Music – even going on singing weekends with some of her favourite musicians. She was especially fond of sitting in an outdoor venue singing along to one of her favourite bands. Jane learned the art of cooking – she got to University without having any skills but ultimately her repertoire was extensive – cheese souffles, pavlova, apple crisp and many more. She loved a good gadget: Ian always liked the Kenwood that was made before he was born. Above all Jane loved a party or family gathering. At one party, one of Ian’s friends viewed the array of desserts and said, with a glazed look “I am in heaven”. She organised a wonderful party for her Father’s 90th Jane found it hard to resist a bargain or a good deal and attention to detail meant she would recycle every tiny bit of metal, plastic or cloth, but oddly she was quite happy to agree to spend on Alan’s car. Jane did not play much sport, she grew to love watching Rugby and thoroughly enjoyed a trip to France to see England play. Jonny Wilkinson was a favourite – his picture was always on her bedside table. She was however, an evil Croquet player – you would NOT want her as an opponent! Last year starting in August, Jane struggled to recover from a bad cough, she had terrible pain which the doctor attributed to strains from the cough and it was only at Christmas that we finally understood that the cause of her excruciating pains was secondary breast cancer. The pain was almost unbearable and for some time Alan would administer liquid morphine every 4 hours day and night. Eventually neuropathic pain medication was prescribed and at last Jane was pain free – just as we received the terrible prognosis at the end of May. From that date on we had a succession of visitors who came to see Jane and share their reminiscences. Jane bore this terrible illness with great fortitude. She never once complained, was never angry or bitter – she simply was sorry she would not see her beloved grandchildren grow up. In fact on so many occasions she apologized for being a nuisance (which she truly never was). This all indicates that Alan has had a very difficult time over the last 12 months but he has cared for Jane in a loving and selfless way. It was a great but sad day when Jane came home to spend her last few days in the home she made and that we loved so much. Jude held her hand and said “I love you Grandma” – the last words Jane said were to reply “I love you” to Jude – how fitting. She died surrounded by her two loving sons and our wonderful niece Isi. We have lost a beautiful person, someone who made friends easily, never boasted of her many achievements, a gentle, loving and caring selfless angel.

[lazytacomoon-blog]

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

"What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

How much should we expect from her insurance?

a friend and i had an accident on Thursday, we were going on two different motorcycles and a woman never saw us and she cut our way and we ended up hitting her pretty bad, the motorcycles are totaled. one of us had a dislocated shoulder and a strained knee, the other one was hospitalized for three days, he ended up having a broken rip, blood in the skull, and damaged spine. this accident was the woman's fault so my question is how much should each of us expect from her insurance? should we hire a lawyer?""

VW beetle car insurance?

Im nearly 17 and female and love, even though I know its expensive.. A VW beetle as a car soon. Any idea on what the car insurance may be?""

What do the insurance companies(in Maryland) consider a sports car?

I'm looking into getting a 1997-2001 Mitsubishi eclipse or a 1997-2004 Toyota celica. I've talked to different people around here and some say they consider them sports cars and others r saying that they r family cars because they have 4 seats and you can put people in the back. So I'm thinking that cars like Nissan 350z's and corvettes are sports car to them. Pls help me! I don't want to pay the insurance of a sports car. Is there a way I could get around it if they are considered sports cars.

Car Insurance : Average price for 40yr old female first time driver?

Just passed test. Quotes vary wildly online. Not bought a car yet. Looking at Nissan Micra's. What kind of prices should I be looking at?

Finding health insurance that covers meds?

i turn 26 next year and i really need health insurance when i get kicked off my parents plan... i dont know what to do. what is just the most inexpensive way to get my meds? i take adderall and paxil. thank you

Cheap car insurance with dui in california?

i know drinking and driving was dumb and dont drink anymore for a year. i need car insurance where can i find the best deal something cheap for a whole year for liabilty for my shitty car.

How much is insurance for a 16 year old?

So Im looking to buy a car when I turn 16 in a few months.. preferably the 2012 beetle which comes out to be around $25,000 and about $400 a month for 72 months. And I am also looking to get a job and work as many hours as I can, including the summer AND when school is back in session. I live in Southern California so minimum wage is $8.00... I am just hoping I can afford the car even with the cost of insurance... and after taxes as well! Im having trouble figuring it out so PLEASE help! Thanks :)""

""Help, I need car insurance, best quote 1356 pounds?""

Help, I need car insurance, best quote 1356 pounds 9 years no claims, driving licence for 20 years, the car is a 2 lit and 5 years old Helppppppp""

Can I drive my parents car without Insurance?

So I live in MA and I was wondering if I will get into trouble if I drive my parents car (which is insured under my dads name) when I am home for the Thanksgiving break (my name is not on my dad's insurance). Will having a written consent from my dad permitting me to drive the car help?

Cheap car insurance? 17 year old UK?

So say I'm a 17/18 year old just passed driver with a cheap car, small engine etc, female, what price, in terms of car insurance, am I looking at? Thanks for any feedback. I really just want an estimation!""

What is the price range for insurance on a 07 mustang premium v6?

I am 20, I live in AL. no accidents or violations. I want prices or estimates please, not what I should consider n etc... Thank u""

Car Insurance Question?

First, I recently passed my road test and I am allowed to drive by myself. The problem is that the pink card (car insurance) has my parent's names on it and not mine. But, my parents recall putting me in a car insurance plan with them. So technically without my name on the card, I would be driving without insurance? And that's illegal right? (At least in Canada, Alberta) Would I be able to drive or no?""

How much do you pay for insurance for your car?

How much do you pay for insurance for your car?

Insurance for 18yr old ?

Well.. im just wondering how much it would cost/estimate for me to get fully insured on a 1.8 Astra Sri Xp (3dr) 57 plate.. i know its going to be quite alot but i want to know a round about price and make sure its not ridiculously high before i buy it off of my mum. thanks in advance:)

What would you say about geico insurance?

I have my auto insurance with state farm insurance but I was thinking of switching it to Geico. What would you say about Geico? Thanks

Why is car insurance so high?

the guy who made young drivers insurance so High should be dragged out in public and shot in front of his family!

What do i put for date of license on Geico insurance quote?

I was filling out an online insurance quote from Geico. When they ask for date first licensed do they mean your lerner's permit or your regular license?

How much does Car Insurance for a teenager cost?

How much is car insurance for a 15 ( starting drivers ed) year old girl if you are only a part time driver, like if you dont own a car you just use your parent' car in Illinois? Like how much is added on to your parents insurance bill? and how much does it cost if you have your own car?""

How much is teen insurance?

Typically how much is insurance for teens in general? For just an ordinary, average car? thanks""

What is the medical exam and questions for life insurance like?

We are looking into life insurance. I am wondering what the medical exam and questions are like? How much more typically is it if you have a medical issue (like high blood pressure) compared to if you have good health? We are in our late 20's.

""My daughter will be 26 12/6/2012, can she obtain insurance through the Affordable Care Act and how?""

My daughter will be 26 12/6/2012, can she obtain insurance through the Affordable Care Act and how? She has serious health issues and medication we will not be able to afford with no insurance.""

How many independent insurance agents are there in the US?

I am trying to find out how many independent insurance agents there are in the United States. Any data, links or information would be great.""

""18, needs car insurance for ANYTHING please help ?""

OK ah cant take anymore of this... i'm 18 have had a license for 3 months now and live in the UK jarrow, tyne and Wear... All i want is a **** little car. But the insurance is ***** ridiculus no matter what i do a car costing 300 insurance will still be 5000 - 6000 doesn't matter if the engine is the size of a vacuume cleaner motor it jus wont go down. PLEASE somebody find me a car that isn't over 2000 that the insurance wont be beyond a joke. Been at this for over a week now and cant find anything. gocompare money supermarket direct line aviva. even put my mother as the main driver of the car with me as additional driver and still 5000 - 6000. Even insurance fraud is expensive PLEASE help me""

Whats the best cheapest insurance in fresno?

i just had my first speeding ticket, im 20 going to school n working n i am going to finance a 2011 cruze LT, i want a good but affordable insurance, any suggestions?""

How much should car insurance cost?

i am 17 and live in London. i have just passed my driving test and i'm looking for a car and insurance. i am not bothered about how bad the car is but i can't find insurance anywhere which i can afford. does anyone have advice?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

Getting insurance for my new born?

I'm was born here in California but my husband isn't. He's an immigrant but my question is that we just had a new born and I'm wondering would there be a problem getting my baby insurance. I'm asking since I know they'll ask for his income and since I don't work I have no choice but to put his. I can't say I'm a single mom either since we got married. Does any one have any advice on what I can or should do? Please no rude comments thank you.

Insurance for buying a car?

I want to buy a used car. I was advised to get insurance before I test drive any cars. I went to a couple of insurance websites and they ask me to enter my vehicle info. How do I enter vehicle info if I don't own a vehicle yet?

How much insurance should I have on my car?

1999 Toyota Camry, 90K miles, excellent driving record, car is paid for. How much insurance should I have on it now?""

Fellowship in insurance?

what is the scope for fellowship in life insurance and general insurance in india to start a career in insurance.

I need affordable insurance on my car any suggestions?

well i've been driving around for 9 months now w/out insurance. my car's a 2001 dodge neon standard model and i paid cash for it (no car note). im afraid that if im pulled over by the chp my car will get towed. im on a budget and i really need an affordable monthly premium. im 28 yrs old i got my driving license at 26 yrs old then got 2 tickets like 2 months later. one ticket was a failure to yield on a right turn w/ a red light and as a result i caused an accident but there was no bodily harm or property damage to the other driver only to my car it was totaled and i wasn't harmed. i recently was pulled over and given a speeding ticket too. what is the difference in full vs. liability insurance? i do know that liability is cheaper. which should i consider? also does anyone know of any insurance co. that don't require a huge down payment to start?and would insure my car w/out a huge monthly premium?

Selling a car but keeping insurance?

my question is, i have a car at the moment with 2 years no claims bonus.. (i should have 3 years in july) but i am selling my car this week to a mate. they said if i cancel my insurance policy i will only have 2 years no claims can i still sell the car to someone else and just keep the insurance running for it without saying so i'l have 3 years by july or do u have to cancel it once sold, the guy im selling it hasnt actually passed his tes so prob wont even be insuring it for a while and when he does he said hes gonna put the car on his girlfriends insurance""

""Does anyone know if I am disable,I receive ssi (I have a MS)what kind of car insurance?""

Does anyone know if I am disable person, I receive ssi (I have a multiple sclerosis) what kind of car insurance company I can choose? And how much I have to pay each month? Thank you""

How can I buy life insurance policy on people?

I have a friend at work that was telling me that here in Texas it is legal to buy a life insurance policy on anyone you want. He says when the person you have insurance on dies you get a lot of money. I was just wondering if anyone on here knows how this works? Do I need the persons permission or what information do I need from them? I was thinking of getting insurance on old people that live in a retirement home a block from where I live and get rich out of it. I know some of you will think I am sick but I wouldn't mind if someone had insurance on me when I am older. So how can I go about doing this and what information do I need on the person?

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

Motorcycle insurance question?

Hey, so im 19 and live in ontario. I want to get insurance for my bike but its hella expensive. Could i 'sell' the bike to my uncle (DOES NOT LIVE WITH ME), he insures it and becomes primary rider and puts me as secondary? He has his own bike so he will have 2 bikes under his name, and ill be secondary for 1 will it work?""

What cars are best to have for the lowest insurance?

I am 21, and I am rather sick of catching the bus everywhere lol, especially this past winter. I know my insurance is going to be high, It's also pretty hard to keep a job since many buses stop running around 9pm. My friend told me any time after May is a good time to buy a car because most people already got their refunds. I am willing to take out a loan if a new/newer car is the best to go with since I have pretty decent credit (724 Experian). If I have a car I could work and go to school more easily. What year, make, model, etc. I also want to save on gas. For the new cars, I would like the Chevy Volt, the Ford Fiesta, Honda Civic (hybrid if possible), or the toyota prius (hybrid maybe). For used, I am not sure since I don't know what year to look in, but I was looking at the Honda civic, toyota prius, and the mazda mazda6. I also don't know if foreign cars would raise the premium. I read that if you are getting a car around 10 years old, only buy honda or toyota cars. Also should I look into mechanical breakdown insurance and/or should I get a warranty for the car along with the auto insurance? How much do they cost? Thanks.""

About how much is insurance on an 18 wheeler truck ( the tractor) and about how much is a trailor 48' long

getting n2 the trucking world. expect to complete truck driving school oct 11, 2006. looking 2 start buisness or start working soon after.""

""For me, the auto insurance company USAgencies is cheaper than Progressive, Geico, All State, State Farm, ...?""

....Direct, The General, and Safe Auto. Does anyone have an auto insurance company not mentioned above that is cheaper than USAgencies? Do not send my links of places that quote different companies. I want to know from your personal experience.""

Question about pregnancy insurance?

My husband and I plan on trying for our 3rd child sometime around August/September. For our first child, we were eligible for Medicaid and for our second we were on Tricare since my husband was deployed. However, right now I'm the only one who is uninsured. My husband can go to the VA Hospital anytime he needs to and my kids are on State insurance. We really don't want to get some type of family insurance since everyone besides me is all taken care of. So my question is: Is there some type of insurance that covers pregnancy that I could just sign up for? I decided to come here before really starting my research on the off-chance someone here is on one/knows of one. Since a lot of insurances would say a pregnancy was a pre-existing condition and not cover me, I want to be on it before we even start trying. Anyway, thanks!""

Car insurance Expired?

My car insurance will expire 12:01 am Friday. I owe a past due balance and also....for me to renew the total would be 353.00..I don't have the money so im thinking about just letting it expire and going with someone else. Will that balance go into collections?

Where can i find the best disability insurance?

There are so many options out there I dont know who to choose.

""I have just got my provisional licence,and want to be put on my mums insurance.?""

Hi All, I have just received my provisional driving licence, and want to be put on my mums insurance. Of the people who have done this, could you let me know roughly how much it will cost, and can I pay in installments. The cheapest quote I have had is 72.50 , but it seems I would have to pay that all in one go, which I can't really afford to do at the moment. Does anyone know anywhere cheaper where I could pay in installments. Thanks Guys""

Anyone have/had Sameday Insurance?

I have Geico and thinking of switching to Sameday Insurance. I was wondering if anyone can give me reviews about them. They are offering a very affordable quote for a premium coverage.

Does California state law not allow insurance companies to increase rates for $750 or less claims?

I heard California Sate law prohibits insurance companies from raising your rates if you have a total accident claim of $750 (not to include deductible amount)? Is this true?

What is term life insurance ?

What is term life insurance ? And what types of term life insurance is provived by lic of india?

How to Find Quickly Best Term Life Insurance Quote?

How to Find Quickly Best Term Life Insurance Quote?

How much does deep cleaning usually cost?

My pocket size was 2 or 3 and some of my molars were 4 or 5. So I know I do need deep cleaning. I did half of my mouth already which is $200 and I'm going to do the other side which also cost $200. So I'm paying $400 overall. I have good insurance through my dad so I didn't have insurance it would be Around $1800. It just seems so expensive

Honda Fit insurance question?

I was planning on getting a Honda Fit and I was wondering about the insurance rates. I was thinking of getting a 07-08 Sport model. I don't know if transmission plays a role in the insurance, but I would get a manual. I am a 17 (turning 18 in June) year-old male. I would get full coverage. I would figure that it will be expensive but okay because of safety features, and that it is a fuel economy car. Any information would help. Thanks.""

Should I get a full coverage insurance on a rental car?

I have to rent a car for 2 weeks for business. Supposely, the cost should be reimbursed to me by a company after the assingment is done. Not sure if I can truly trust that. But anyway, if I don't get the insurance, it will be $500. But if I get insurance, it is $1200. I am a safe driver and I will be in a rural place. I am trying to convince myself that I don't need it. But then again, I worry about what might happen if accidents occur. The cost of rental car will be reimbursed by a company. But I am not sure if they are actully going to do that in timely manner and my credit card balance is high. I don't want to put extra money charged into my account. My credit card company and auto insurance company (on my own car) told me that they do not have insurance coverage on rental cars. What do you think? Thanks""

How much money will I save if I go on my parents' insurance plan?

Ok, so I did hear that if I go under my parents' insurance plan that it would be a lot cheaper. If it is cheaper, how much cheaper? How much would I be paying a month or every 6 months, for example. I did request a quote from progressive and what they came up with is..... $485.19 every month , $613 a month with travelers. How much will I be saving if i go under my parents' insurance? Thank you all in advance!""

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

Is it required to buy insurance if you rent a car ?

Well, I'm going to tell my mom to rent a car next Thursday and I'm not sure if she HAVE to buy insurance for it. She already have car insurance from Triple A, can she use the car insurance she have for the rental car? Is that okay? When I reserved the car for Avis last weekend, it said that you can purchase a protection for the car for an extra 18 dollars, im not sure if that's insurance or not. It said its recommended, but not required. Also, no where on the site said that you have to buy insurance for the rental car. Is there already insurance for those rental cars? I'm so confused. pleease help!!""

How to get Cheap Car Insurance at 17?

Hello, I have tried everything to get chear car insurance at 17 but it seems to stay in the 2500+ Area.... How can I get it cheaper? I have had my license for a month but feel frustrated that I can't get a car because the insurance is too high!! Can anyone help?""

Getting married and need help with insurance?

My parents have Cigna insurance. I understand that I am no longer a considered an eligible dependent when I am legally married, but I am also a full time student. Which status is the dependent variable when considering eligibility? If I'm married AND a full time college student, does that mean I can't get coverage?""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

How much insurance will I need to lease a car?

I want to lease a 2010 car. I want my insurance prices to be low, but who determines what kind and how much insurance I will need. Will my insurance be higher or lower than financing the car? What are some insurance things I SHOULD get once I lease? Any other info you can provide that I will NEED to know will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!""

Should I be pestered to buy more insurance?

I have the current minimum coverage for auto insurance required by state. About 2 years ago I changed agents so that it is closer to me. At the time I was told how horrible my coverage is and for like $3 month I can get so much more. I just had a car problem and gave a towing bill my insurance covers. He was telling me again how horrible my coverage is. I feel if I have the minimum coverage and it is all I want that he shouldn't be telling me to buy more. Is it fair for me to be asked to buy more insurance if I don't want it?

Cheap car insurance for young people?

i just turned 15. ive gotten a few quotes and all of them are around 300 dollars a month. who should i get my insurance with and what type of car will make it the cheapest.? Please help.

Does it cost more to insure a car with no airbags?

I was thinking of buying a 1986 mustang gt, which has no airbags, would that affect the cost? I was going to put aftermarket Sparco front seats with 4 point safety harnesses in for safety, also would that decrease the insurance rate since I'd be making it safer? Or is it just dependent on car, age, etc.""

Is this considered Expensive Health Insurance????

This is my firsft full time job with insurance out of college now. I was wondering if you thought it was expensive since I am new to this. It is 186 a month and I make 2200 a month. It does seem pretty good though, is this decent insurance?... No deductible. Doctors visits: 100% paid after a $30 dollar co-pay for physicians and $45 for a specialist 100% paid rehab services (phys. therapy, chiropractic visits) after 30 dollar co-pay, for a max of 60 visits a year 1 eye exam every 2 years, 100% paid after a 30 dollar co pay Dental: no deductible or co-pay, 100% paid for preventative services (exam, xrays, fluoride). 90% paid for basic services (filiings). The max they pay per year is 1,000""

Can someone help me figure out how to get car insurance?? Very confused :(?

This is my first time ever getting a car loan, making payments & getting insurance by myself & so far it's been frustrating & confusing!! If anyone could help steer me in the right direction it'd be much appreciated! --I'm originally from Arkansas. I moved to North Dakota with my man, got a job & started vehicle hunting. One of my friends up here, also from AR, had a truck close to getting on the repo list because he couldn't make payments anymore. This truck is registered in AR. So, I got a loan & bought his truck from him. I got this loan Oct 4th, a month ago. All I'm trying to do is register this truck, pay sales tax & get insurance. I understand I'm not ever getting the title but my bank will & when I explained that the title hadn't been sent to my bank yet, the dmv lady said I couldn't even get temporary tags?? Can I get insurance with the truck not being registered yet?? If it's not officially mine bc the title hasn't been sent to my bank. ???""

Do I have to insure my son when he turns 16?

My auto insurance company called me yesterday asking for the names and birthdays of my children. I refused to tell them anything. My oldest son will turn 16 in November, and I was not planning on adding him as a driver, because we have full coverage insurance and I thought that would cover anyone.""

What are some car insurance companys?

would love to know ones that are cheap???

Can my car insurance be cancelled?

I have had insurance for 20+ years. I recently called them to tell them I had moved. For the first time EVER they are insisting (through phone calls, mail and email) that I MUST give them information on who I live with and what THEIR car insurance is. I don't want to give this out. Can they cancel my insurance? Has anyone ever heard of this?""

How can we make health care insurance work like car insurance?

Everyone is familiar with how car insurance works. Its available to all. Its pretty cheap. They can't drop you from coverage even if you are a drunk driver. Once you have a accident they dont raise you rates too much. Why can't health care be more like Geico (insurance) and your local car repair man (doctor) and the DMV (government help)?

HELP !!!!!!! what is a good and CHEAP car insurance company? 10 points =]?

I need the cheapest possible car insurance but thats also good and will cover me =]

Do I Need Auto Insurance if I don't have a car?

Ok, well i just got my liscense [ i`m 16 ] ... i don't have a car, so do i need auto insurance? i don't know if this is a dumb question, but people are telling me i need to be added to my mom's insurance and stuff. i`m trying to under stnad the whole car insurance thing so hopefully somebody can help.""

Insurance brokers?

Y do insurance brokers force u to join bt whn its time for the insurance to pay up they tell u all sorts of stories Even though ur account was never on arreas!!! please help guys........

Should I buy life insurance online?

I want to buy a life insurance plan for myself, and later for my husband. I have done some research, although I must say it's all very confusing and there are zillions of options. Now that I have a better idea, however, I am wondering if buying the plans online is at all an option. Do you have an experience with it? Do you recommend it, or feel that it's completely not a good idea?""

Rover75 rear hit by a 4x4. Garage says not repairable what do I do? how much will the insurance pay?

The 4x4 damaged the rear end of my Rover 75, impossible to shut boot and lights not working. The garage and insurance now say it is not repairable. - but even after the accident, the car was driving perfectly. How much will the insurance company pay? Will they? Is there any way I can get the car fixed?""

""On average, how much does the insurance go up for a 16yr old boy?

Driving insurance lol

Can you have Medicaid and insurance?

I live in Nebraska and I am pregnant. My husband does have insurance with his employer, but it has a super high deductible. I think we would be eligible for Medicaid based on income. Can I have both insurance and Medicaid?""

""What are the monthly/weekly costs of running a car? (insurance, registration, petrol)?""

im looking at buying a car, im 17 i have had my licence for about 3 months and i want to know how much i should be expecting to pay for insurance, registration, petrol etc, for a 4 cylinder proberly auto and ranging from 1990 to 2000 year. thanks :)""

What happens if you lie to a car insurance company about your traffic violations?

My husband wants me to hide my violations because we are trying to get a new policy right now. I figure why wouldn't everyone do that then?

Business Insurance??

What kind of insurance will i need to carry for duct cleaning peoples homes and how much monthly would it cost

2000+ Toyota Celica Insurance and More?

I'm a 16 year old boy and expecting to buy this car for about $6,000 in August. I am looking for details such as mpg and insurance rates for a 16yo boy buying this car. I heard the mpg are really good on this car but will it be worth it if the insurance is high? Help me decide and give me other car ideas under the budget of $7,000 -Cory, CT""

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

Buying a car v.s buying car insurance?

My father doesn't have credit history because he never used credit card or anything. My credit is way better than him. I'm getting an car loan but worrying about the insurance problem. I'm only 21 in college my insurance will be extremely high so i'm just wrondering can i buy a car with my name and buy insurance with my dad's name? Are we allowed to do tat?

How much has your health insurance gone up in the last year?

Mine just went up 35%. How much has the affordable health care act screwed you so far? And don't tell me it doesn't start until 2014 the insurance companies are raising rates already due to this stinking pile!

Another car insurance question to British drivers!?

My brother's car was written off yesterday [was the other party's fault]. He was told today the car wasn't redeemable so that's that! So he is waiting to see how much they are going to pay him for the loss, but the question is does he have to keep paying full comprehensive insurance when he no longer has a car to drive? Can he now pay a reduced rate until the insurance is sorted out? It seems unfair to continue paying out for fully comp insurance when there is no car to insure!""

Car insurance help!!?

i am just about to re new my car insurance, the cost without protecting my 4 year claim bonus is 550 and protected would cost me 800.. is paying the difference of 250 worth it? thanks""

What is an average cost of IUI without insurance?

What is an average cost of IUI without insurance and what is the success rate?

Is it possible to upgrade car insurance with an ongoing claim?

Hello, I am a 19 year old male living in England. I had an accident around 2 months ago in my car of which I am the main driver and owner (no dispute here). I have been ensured by a solicitor friend that the crash was not my fault as the other party pulled out in front of me. However, the other party is still disputing liability and I have been told by my insurance that the case could take upwards of 10 weeks. I have a job opportunity starting in 1 week exactly as a delivery driver. I will technically be self-employed, so will have to provide my own business insurance. My question is: is it at all possible to upgrade my insurance to business cover while the claim is still ongoing? If this is possible, would it be allowed on the basis that I would be considered liable for this accident (at least in the short run) and thus be charged a an extortionate amount? Thanks in advance.""

How much does a HSG test cost?

My gyno wants me to get an HSG test done. I have PCOS and am trying to get pregnant. I live in Georgia and have Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance. I wanted to know how much it would cost and if i truely need to have this test done to get the perscription I need to become pregnant.

Does car insurance cost more for old people?

I'm doing a topic in my GCSE's and i have to gather information on weather old people should be allowed to drive... so i would apreciate it if you would comment on that as well. But what i wanted to know was weather car insurance costs more for people over 65 (because thats the age you can retire and get a pension) or for people under 65.

Are you glad you have individual Health Plan?

I work freelance and I am looking into getting a health care plan. I haven't had medical insurance since elementary school but now that I'm approaching mid 20s, I wanted to prepare for the emergency, the 'just-in-case' situation. My problem is that I have a very negative impression on the insurance business and health care itself. I've gone to health clinic from a floating rib and I paid $300 to be told that I need to get tylenol LOL My relatives and friend went through some misdiagnose, multiple exams and charges. Some friends go through such a bull5hit time - one friend was charged $500 to borrow a blanket in the waiting room at a health care clinic and all she had to do was make a call and complain to cancel the full amount. We were baffled So.. they get paid $500 for lending a blanket? They take the $500 away if we complain? It's like complaining at a restaurant LOL!!! I maybe ignorant, but it makes me so upset to see people without insurance having such a hard time affording health care. Health care and insurance makes me feel like I'm giving into a manipulative scam - like buying a $120 clothing that only costs $5 to make. But incase I break my face crashing on my bicycle, I guess I need one. $500 for a blanket? I wonder how much X ray actually costs to buy, operate, and maintain. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it. Anyhow, I know I'm ignorant, please enlighten me. Any positive experience on having affordable individual plan would be great. Thanks in advance.""

Got a 150CC scooter for surface roads commute upto 20 miles/day. How much does it cost to get it on CA roads?

Classes + license exp + Registration + Insurance + locks (?) + Helmet + Hand Grip = ? a. How much is the rough running cost? (are these high maintenance?) b. Is it safe in an ungated community with chain lock? Should I move it inside my apt? And yes, primary transportation. Thanks for reading.""

Car insurance (Nissan)?

am 17 and getting a 2004 Nissan Altima Soon? About how much will the insurance be? oh and its my [first] car.

Which auto insurance companies use Equifax?

My credit score is highest on Equifax. Does anyone know which auto insurance companies use Equifax to provide quotes?

Affordable Health Insurance for Student in MA?

Hi, if you go to school in MA, you would know that the insurance company offered by school are overpriced. I'm looking for affordable, low-cost, health insurance for college student in Massachusetts. Thank you.""

Insurance on a car for first time driver?

Hi there, Im hoping to take my driving test very soon do I have started looking at second hand cars. I have typed a couple into comparison sites, but seem to be getting 2000+!! I was just wondering if you could give me a list of cars 1litre or 1.1litre that would be cheaper to insure. Im 27 and have 2children, if that makes any difference to insurance? Thankyou""

How much is Jay Leno's car insurance premium?

How much is Jay Leno's car insurance premium?

How much will insurance go up with with a speeding ticket and now I rear ended someone on the freeway?

I have Allstate Insurance in California. I got a speeding ticket in Nevada. And it was either hit a semi or rear end a car on the freeway.

Why is my car insurance quote so high?

I have been to CompareTheMarket for a quote on car insurance, and the cheapest quote was around 5,000 for a car that costs 250. Why is my quote so high? I'm a first time driver living in an area with a fairly high crime rate. After changing the address to my girlfriends the quote came down to 2,000. This is still way too much considering the cost of the car! Is there any way to bring the insurance cost down? I wont be able to afford to drive at this rate.""

Got a ticket for 30 over and have American Fam. Ins. 1st speeding ticket. Any insight on rate increase?

Aim a 23 year old male & this is my first ticket for speeding technically (I got a ticket 6 years ago for speeding but it was dismissed in court). I also totaled a car 7 years ago but that seems to be irrelevant now (I would think). I was sighted for going 75 MPH in a 45 MPH on interstate 670 in Columbus, Ohio (45 due to construction not in progress so fine was not doubled). The office stated to me that the traffic flow was moving well above the posted speed limit however I was moving a bit faster than the flow. My first question is should I take this to court and fight it (also hope the officer does not show) If the traffic flow was moving considerably over the posted limit then why wasnt any of the people ahead of my pulled over? Does anyone think this will stand in court or do you think the fact that I was going 30 over pretty much kill my defense? Also (since I believe I will have to pay) how much do you think my insurance rates will increase? Like I said I am a 23 year old male with 1 prior speeding ticket that was dismissed in court 6 years ago, totaled a car 7 years ago and received a ticket almost 3 years ago for peeling and squealing (which was BS). Any insight is helpful and thank you all for taking time to read my post and respond it means a lot.""

Will the healthcare reform change the age limit on children on parents insurance?

I'm 25 and one of the great things about the affordable care act was that I was allowed on my parents insurance until I'm 26... Will this change? I'm still in school and there is no way I can afford insurance on my own!!!

Can we have the car in one name and insurance in the other name?

My boyfriends car is in his dads name. Does anyone know if we could keep the car in his dads name but get the insurance in my boyfriends name???

How will it affect my insurance?

My daughter Ashlynn has just turned 16, and shes begging me to allow her to get her a learners permit. I'm all for it, but i want to know how it will affect my insurance. I heard that a teen with a learners permit doesn't have any affect and in some cases you don't even have to notify the insurance company. If it helps, i have Esurance. Also i live in southern California. If anyone has any information it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks -Lauren.""

Car insurance Q??????????

Im 16 years old and Ill be geting my car In June that I paid $3,000 dlrs for Can I get the car title in my own name or do my parents half to also be on my title and when i get my car insurance will my parents be on that? im paying for every thing with my own money... And I live in the state of WI.""

What is a car that will have low(er) insurance rates for a new 16 yr old driver??

So i just turned 16 and i didnt get my license yet but i am soon and my parents insurance agent said different cars have higher or lower prices on insurance, he said maybe a mid-size sedan or a small suv or minivan. but... i dont know. Anyone with experience with this cause i'm in need of a car!!""

What is the coverage characteristics of disability insurance?

What is the coverage characteristics of disability insurance?

If i have insurance on my driver s license do i have to have insurance on my car in Maine?

I am now told that it is mandatory for me to have insurance ON my license... does that mean I need it on my car as well?? I could use all the help I can get on this. THANK YOU!

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

What is Peace of Mind Insurance company?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/santa-anna-texas-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-76878-larry-spears/"

[ezatluba]

Wolf Puppies Are Adorable. Then Comes the Call of the Wild.

Video Scientists aren’t entirely sure how wolves evolved into dogs, but new research into the genetic and social behavior of wolf pups may offer some clues.

RENAUD PHILIPPE 

OCTOBER 13, 2017

I’m sitting in an outdoor pen with four puppies chewing my fingers, biting my hat and hair, peeing all over me in their excitement.

At eight weeks old, they are two feet from nose to tail and must weigh seven or eight pounds. They growl and snap over possession of a much-chewed piece of deer skin. They lick my face like I’m a long-lost friend, or a newfound toy. They are just like dogs, but not quite. They are wolves.

When they are full-grown at around 100 pounds, their jaws will be strong enough to crack moose bones. But because these wolves have been around humans since they were blind, deaf and unable to stand, they will still allow people to be near them, to do veterinary exams, to scratch them behind the ears — if all goes well.

Yet even the humans who raised them must take precautions. If one of the people who has bottle-fed and mothered the wolves practically since birth is injured or feels sick, she won’t enter their pen to prevent a predatory reaction. No one will run to make one of these wolves chase him for fun. No one will pretend to chase the wolf. Every experienced wolf caretaker will stay alert. Because if there’s one thing all wolf and dog specialists I’ve talked to over the years agree on, it is this: No matter how you raise a wolf, you can’t turn it into a dog.

As close as wolf and dog are — some scientists classify them as the same species — there are differences. Physically, wolves’ jaws are more powerful. They breed only once a year, not twice, as dogs do. And behaviorally, wolf handlers say, their predatory instincts are easily triggered compared to those of dogs. They are more independent and possessive of food or other items. Much research suggests they take more care of their young. And they never get close to that Labrador retriever “I-love-all-humans” level of friendliness. As much as popular dog trainers and pet food makers promote the inner wolf in our dogs, they are not the same.

The scientific consensus is that dogs evolved from some kind of extinct wolf 15,000 or more years ago. Most researchers now think that it wasn’t a case of snatching a pup from a den, but of some wolves spending more time around people to feed on the hunters’ leftovers. Gradually some of these wolves became less afraid of people, and they could get closer and eat more and have more puppies, which carried whatever DNA made the wolves less fearful. That repeated itself generation after generation until the wolves evolved to be, in nonscientific terms, friendly. Those were the first dogs.

People must spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for weeks on end with wolf puppies just to assure them that humans are tolerable. Dog puppies will quickly attach to any human within reach. Even street dogs that have had some contact with people at the right time may still be friendly.

Despite all the similarities, something is deeply different in dog genes, or in how and when those genes become active, and scientists are trying to determine exactly what it is.

Wolf pups at Wolf Park, a 65-acre zoo and research facility in Battle Ground, Ind., in July. Though wolves and dogs are extremely similar genetically, their behaviors are very different — and scientists seek to find out why.

There are clues.

Some recent research has suggested that dog friendliness may be the result of something similar to Williams syndrome, a genetic disorder in humans that causes hyper-sociability, among other symptoms. People with the syndrome seem friendly to everyone, without the usual limits.

Another idea being studied is whether a delay in development during a critical socializing period in a dog’s early life could make the difference. That delay might be discovered in the DNA, more likely in the sections that control when and how strongly genes become active, rather than in the genes themselves.

This is research at its very beginning, a long shot in some ways. But this past spring and summer, two scientists traveled to Quebec to monitor the development of six wolf pups, do behavior tests and take genetic samples. I followed them.

I visited other captive wolves as well, young and adult, to get a glimpse of how a research project begins — and, I confess, to get a chance to play with wolf puppies.

I wanted to have some firsthand experience of the animals I write about, to look wolves in the eye, so to speak. But only metaphorically. As I was emphatically told in a training session before going into an enclosure with adult wolves, the one thing you definitely do not do is look them in the eye.

From left, Kathryn Lord, Michele Koltookian and Diane Genereux, of the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester and the Broad Institute in Cambridge, at the Zoo Académie, a combination zoo and training facility in Nicolet, Quebec.

Wolf pups at play at Zoo Académie. Researchers wonder whether a delay in social development in a dog’s early life could explain the difference between wolves and dogs, and they’re looking to DNA for the answer.

Sleeping With Wolves

Zoo Académie is a combination zoo and training facility here on the southern bank of the St. Lawrence River, about two hours from Montreal. Jacinthe Bouchard, the owner, has trained domestic and wild animals, including wolves, all over the world.

This past spring she bred two litters of wolf pups from two female wolves and one male she had already at the zoo. Both mothers gave birth in the same den around the same time at the beginning of June. Then unusually bad flooding of the St. Lawrence threatened the den, so Ms. Bouchard had to remove them at about seven days old instead of the usual two weeks.

Then began the arduous process of socializing the pups. Ms. Bouchard and her assistant stayed day and night with the animals for the first few weeks, gradually decreasing the time spent with them after that.

On June 30, Kathryn Lord and Elinor Karlsson showed up with several colleagues, including Diane Genereux, a research scientist in Dr. Karlsson’s lab who would do most of the hands-on genetics work.

Dr. Lord is part of Dr. Karlsson’s team, which splits time between the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester and the Broad Institute in Cambridge. Their work combines behavior and genetic studies of wolf and dog pups.

An evolutionary biologist, Dr. Lord is an old hand at wolf mothering. She has hand-raised five litters.

“You have to be with them 24/7. That means sleeping with them, feeding them every four hours on the bottle, ” Dr. Lord said.

Also, as Ms. Bouchard noted, “we don’t shower” in the early days, to let the pups get a clear sense of who they are smelling.

Dr. Genereux, right, and Ms. Koltookian at the Zoo Académie.

Dr. Genereux, right, and Ms. Koltookian with the wolf pups. The researchers say the odds of being able to pin down genetically the critical shift from helplessness in infancy to being able to explore the world around them are long, but still worth pursuing.

That’s very important, because both wolves and dogs go through a critical period as puppies when they explore the world and learn who their friends and family are.

With wolves, that time is thought to start at about two weeks, when the wolves are deaf and blind. Scent is everything.

In dogs, it starts at about four weeks, when they can see, smell and hear. Dr. Lord thinks this shift in development, allowing dogs to use all their senses, might be key to their greater ability to connect with human beings.

Perhaps with more senses in action, they are more able to generalize from tolerating individual humans with a specific scent to tolerating humans in general with a scent, sight and sound profile.

When the critical period ends, wolves, and to a lesser extent dogs, experience something like the onset of stranger anxiety in human babies, when people outside of the family suddenly become scary.

The odds of being able to pin down genetically the shift in this crucial stage are still long, but both Dr. Lord and Dr. Karlsson think the idea is worth pursuing, as did the Broad Institute. It provided a small grant from a program designed to support scientists who take leaps into the unknown — what you might call what-if research.

There are two questions the scientists want to explore. One, said Dr. Karlsson: ”How did a wolf that was living in the forest become a dog that was living in our homes?”

The other is whether fear and sociability in dogs are related to the same emotions and behaviors in humans. If so, learning about dogs could provide insights to some human conditions in which social interaction is affected, like autism, or Williams syndrome, or schizophrenia.

The pups at Zoo Académie were only three weeks old when the group of researchers arrived. I showed up the next morning and walked into a room strewn with mattresses, researchers and puppies.

The humans were still groggy from a night with little sleep. Pups at that age wake up every few hours to whine and paw any warm body within reach.

Wolf mothers prompt their pups to urinate and defecate by licking their abdomens. The human handlers massaged the pups for the same reason, but often the urination was unpredictable, so the main subject of conversation when I arrived was wolf pup pee. How much, on whom, from which puppy.

As soon as I walked in, I was handed a puppy to cradle and bottle-feed. The puppy was like a furry larva, persistent, single-minded, with an absolute intensity of purpose.

Even with fur, teeth and claws, the pups were still hungry and helpless, and I couldn’t help but remember holding my own children when they took a bottle. I suspect that tiger kittens and the young of wolverines are equally irresistible. It’s a mammal thing.

A wolf pup, inside a pen, observing a borzoi outside at the Zoo Académie. The critical exploratory phase for wolves is thought to start at about two weeks, when wolf pups are still deaf and blind — scent is their primary sense. With dogs, that period begins at about four weeks, when they can see, smell and hear.

The first part of Dr. Lord’s testing was to confirm her observations that the critical period for wolves starts and ends earlier than that for dogs.

She set up a procedure for testing the pups by exposing them to something they could not possibly have encountered before — a jiggly buzzing contraption of bird-scare rods, a tripod and a baby’s mobile.

Each week she tested one pup, so that no pup got used to it. She would put the puppy in a small arena, with low barriers for walls and with the mobile turned on. She would hide, to avoid distracting the puppy. Video cameras recorded the action, showing how the pups stumbled and later walked around the strange object, or shied away from it, or went right up to sniff it.

At three weeks, the pups had been barely able to get around and were still sleeping almost every minute they weren’t nursing. By eight weeks, when I returned to have them gambol all over me, they were rambunctious and fully capable of exploration.

The researchers won’t publicize the results until observers who never saw the puppies view and analyze the videos. But Dr. Lord said that wolf experts considered eight-week-old wolf puppies past the critical period. They were so friendly to me and others because they had been successfully socialized already.

Before and after the test, she collected urine, to measure levels of a hormone called cortisol, which rises during times of stress. If the pup in the video would not approach the jiggly monster and cortisol levels were high, that would indicate that the pup had begun to experience a level of fear of new things that could stop exploration. That would confirm the timing of the critical period.

Dr. Lord letting an eight-week-old wolf pup investigate the jiggly monster testing contraption she devised.

She and Dr. Karlsson and others from the lab also collected saliva for DNA testing. They planned to use a new technique called ATAC-seq that uses an enzyme to mark active genes. Then when the wolf DNA is fed into one of the advanced machines that map genomes, only the active genes would be on the map.

Dr. Genereux, who was isolating and then reading DNA, said she thought it was “a long shot” that they would find what they wanted. She and the other researchers plan to refine their techniques to ask the questions successfully.

When They Grow Up

And what are socialized wolves like when they grow up, once the mysterious genetic machinery of the dog and wolf direct them on their separate ways?

I also visited Wolf Park, in Battle Ground, Ind., a 65-acre zoo and research facility where Dana Drenzek, the manager, and Pat Goodmann, the senior animal curator, took me around and introduced me not only to puppies they were socializing, but to some adult wolves.

Timber, a mother of some of the pups at Wolf Park in Indiana.

In the 1970s, Ms. Goodmann worked with Erich Klinghammer, the founder of Wolf Park, to develop the 24/7 model for socializing wolf puppies, exposing them to humans and then also to other wolves, so they could relate to their own kind but accept the presence and attentions of humans, even intrusive ones like veterinarians.

The sprawling outdoor baby pen was filled with cots and hammocks for the volunteers, since the wolves were now nine and 11 weeks old and living outdoors all the time. There were plastic and plywood hiding places for the wolves and plenty of toys. It looked like a toddlers’ playground, except for the remnants of their meals — the odd deer clavicle or shin bone, and other assorted ribs, legs and shoulder bones, sometimes with skin and meat still attached.

The puppies were extremely friendly with the volunteers they knew, and mildly friendly with me. The adult wolves I met were also courteous, but remote. Two older males, Wotan and Wolfgang, each licked me once and walked away. Timber, the mother of some of the pups, and tiny at 50 pounds, also investigated me and then retired to a platform nearby.

Only Renki, an older wolf who had suffered from bone cancer and now got around on three legs, let me scratch his head for a while. None was bothered by my presence. None was more than mildly interested. None seemed to realize or care about my own intense desire to see the wolves, be near them, learn about them, touch them.

Pat Goodmann, the senior animal curator at Wolf Park.

A mobile of animal bones hangs over the nursery where pups at Wolf Park live until aged 5-6 weeks.

I saw how powerfully a visit with wolves could affect how you feel about the animals. I wanted to come back and help raise pups, and keep visiting so that I could say an adult wolf knew me in some way.

But I also wondered whether it was right to keep wolves in this setting. In the wild, they travel large distances and kill their food. These wolves were all bred in captivity and that was never a possibility for them.

But was I simply indulging a fantasy of getting close to nature? Was this in the same category as wanting a selfie with a captive tiger? What was best for the wolves themselves?

I asked Ms. Goodmann about it. She said that park operated on the idea that getting to know the park’s wolves, which had never been deprived of an earlier life in the wild, would make visitors care more for wild wolves, for conservation, for preserving a life for wild carnivores that they could never be part of.

And she noted that Wolf Park operates as a combination zoo and research station. Students and others from around the world compete to work as interns, helping with everything from raising puppies to emptying the fly traps.

This is the rationale for all zoos, and it was a strong argument. Then she made it stronger. She pointed out that one of the interns, Doug Smith, worked on the reintroduction of wild wolves to Yellowstone National Park.

Dana Drenzek, manager of Wolf Park, with a pup.ANDREW SPEAR FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES

Haley Gorenflo, a volunteer at Wolf Park, howling with adolescent wolves.

Dr. Smith has had a major role in the Wolf Restoration Project from the very beginning in 1995 and has been project leader since 1997. I reached him one morning at his office at park headquarters and asked him about his time as an intern at Wolf Park.

“I hand-reared four wolf pups, sleeping with them on a mattress for six weeks,” he said. “It had a profound effect. It was the first wolf job I ever got in my life. It turned into my career.”

From there he went on to study wild wolves on Isle Royale in Michigan, and then to work with L. David Mech, a pioneering wolf biologist who is senior scientist with the U.S. Geological Survey and an adjunct professor at the University of Minnesota. Eventually, he went to Yellowstone to work on restoring wolves to the park.

He said ethical questions about keeping wild animals in captivity are difficult, even when every effort is made to enrich their lives. But places like Wolf Park provide great value, he said, if they can get people “to think about the plight of wolves across the world, and do something about it.”

In today’s environment, “with conservation on the run, nature on the run, you need them,” he added.

Then he said what all wolf specialists say: That even though wolf pups look like dogs, they are not, that keeping a wolf or a wolf-dog hybrid as a pet is a terrible idea.

“If you want a wolf,” he said, “get a dog.”

[fogusbogus-blog]

The Back door

 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” - Matthew 7:7

Often times, we asked and the door was opened. However, we don’t have the wisdom to recognize the tricks of opportunity.

“Opportunity knocks once.” But not in my case. It keeps on presenting itself to me but all I’ve done is to waste those.

Just a recap of my previous post, I got nominated for 2nd time application thru MPNP, but my friend revoked the sponsorship. And below opportunities were wasted because of the 2nd application with MPNP:

1) 2015 - NS RLMS - Nova Scotia Regional Labour Market Stream

I did not take the risk to apply at the same time with MPNP. All my documents were ready at that time and I am eligible for the Provincial program. 

2) 2015 - FSW (Non Express Entry)

I did not intend to apply due to the pending 2nd re-application of MPNP. My NOC was listed as occupation in demand. All documents were also ready. I did not risk to apply too due to fear of trying or causing my MPNP application to be rejected.

3) 2015 - NB Info Session - July 2015

New Brunswick was unknown province of Canada to me at that time. NBPNP appears promising as you don’t need a sponsor/friend to be able to move to this province. The process and requirements slowly sinked in to me, submit EOI, attendance in the Information Session the province had conducted, NOC list, then later on you will be invited to apply to their province. 

Still wasted, as I came to know the info session in Manila was over.

4) 2016 - NB - June 2016 Info Session

I am successful to register early quarter of the year for Aug 2016 Info Session. The schedule was moved a month earlier, June 2016. IELTS re-take done, Info Session done. My IELTS score was low and brought me a score of 65/100. Still unlucky to receive instant ITA’s from this Info Session nor to submit EOI. Work around, my wife need to take IELTS, OR I need to re-take IELTS as quickly as possible and get high scores.

Neither me nor my wife took the exam on same year as our attention got diverted due to my company relocating me from SG to California. Making the story short, it did not manifest after 6 months of process. Back to square one, USA nor Canadian dream was over. This time, I wanted to give up.

Then came 2017, missed opportunities still lurking around. As Napoleon Hill said, “Opportunities is tricky. It has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.”

And that is exactly what my experiences were. So I go on, fierce and focus this time. I said to my self, “I will be one of the immigrant that will come to Canada this year of 2017.”

Feb 2017 - NB AIPP Info Session, missed again. Reason, lack of monitoring  NB website. I registered into Info Session by Canadian Embassy Manila last March 2017, but was just a pure Information Session. Stirs my frustration and fuels more of my desire.

We decided to pursue the June 2016 Info Session that I attended. IELTS re-take done, my wife IELTS done in Feb 2017. But truly, opportunity is tricky NB EOI for priority 2 closed at the time we’ve decided to push thru our NB ticket to Canadian dream. Depression gives in for a while, but I continue to pray and ask for another chance.

SINP was the answer last Feb 2017. But same story goes, wasted. Returned application after 1.5 months due to missing documents. I am truly ignorant and first time to login into their site and it was open at that time. Filled up information as the time ticks, pressured to submit the application without reading that there were documents required to upload. As a consequence, failed again.

Instead of giving up, the desire becomes more stronger. The goal is getting more clearer. I joined whatsapp group to get some useful information and to share my journey as well. 

My big break came June 2017, but challenges still present along the way. There was no straight path, but I accepted the risks wholeheartedly. And with guidance from Above I carry on.

June 28, 2017 - OINP announced that they will search below 400 CRS score. I am one of the lucky person who received NOI a day after. My CRS score is 321, NOC 2281. I did not waste a time, I’ve read their application guide.

I learnt from the guide that ECA need to be Bachelors degree. On same day I called the OINP office and confirmed the same. My ECA from WES is 3 yrs diploma. I was advised to either do a) re-assessment from different ECA body or b) challenge WES for the result of my ECA.

I did both, but till now option b has no response. Below were the obstacle course I’ve gone thru to get the option a done.

Obstacle 1) - TOR requirement from school for ECA re-assessment. I came from PUP, ECE 5 yr course. As per my previous experience TOR took 60 days. 

-PUP website says 30 days (it is a working days not calendar days) for original TOR. 15 days for Certified True Copy of TOR. Thus I go for CTC.

-Phoned the registrar to see if expedite is an option, and yes it was. The process cuts down to 7 working days.

-I also requested the registrar to scan a copy of the CTC of TOR to ICES.

Obstacle 2) - Choosing which other ECA body will be more faster and might give me a bachelors degree.

-I chose ICES because a rush service is availale as I am bounded by time.

NOI is valid for 6 months from the date you received it, however you need to act fast enough to secure a seat. If the OINP HCP EE stream closes, then your NOI is just another waste. No one know when will the stream will re-open, and you won’t know if the time it re-opens if your NOI is still valid.

Obstacle 3) - Registering NOI into OINP.

-Although NOI is valid for 6 months, registering as quickly as possible is advised to secure a file number in OINP portal. However, it is a game of trade, once registered, must submit a complete application within 2 weeks. Without my ECA re-assessed I am not ready to risk the 1500 cad application fee yet.

Obstacle 4) - ECA result delivery delayed due to bad weather condition

-I don’t know if my re-assessment will lead me to something good. I paid 400 + courier fee for the rush service. It was assessed quickly, I guess it took only 1 day to assess my ECA. I am supposed to receive it 24 July 2017, but due to bad weather condition it was delivered 27 July 2017.

Obstacle 5) -  OINP HCP EE stream closed on 25 July 2017.

-It sound wasted as the program closed, I did not register my NOI under my account.

-BUT, good thing I registered a dummy account last 13 July 2017. Taking note of 2 weeks from registration and without knowing if OINP officer will allow me to utilize my dummy account, I started uploading documents into the dummy account. As the OINP office opened, I called them, discussed the ECA on the way, they agreed to utilize my dummy account and change my dummy account’s full name and birth date. Applicant has no way of modifying full name and birth date.

-Trusting God, I submitted my OINP application without the ECA, I was given a go signal to submit and attached LOE that ECA is on its way, to follow. Also, submitted document for change of personal details (from dummy name to real name). If my ECA result is bachelors degree, then I made a very good decision. If turns out not, then 1500 cad application fee will go down the drain.

-After submission, I called ICES and discuss my current situation. The officer agreed to divulge the equivalency over the phone. Which “supposedly” not allowed to do so. ECA result, it was “Bachelors Degree, 4 yrs”

Here is my OINP & CIC Timeline:

OINP

26 Jul 2017- Submitted

28 Jul 2017- Assessment

20 Aug 2017- Awaiting Information

24 Aug 2017- DIP - Decision in Progress

28 Aug 2017- Nominated/Approved

02 Sep 2017- Received OINP certificate

CIC

06 Sep 2017 - ITA received

25 Sep 2017- AOR

26 Oct 2017- Medical passed

We are still waiting for PPR, praying everyday for every stage of our application.

By the way, our obstacle course does not end in OINP stage, it also goes with CIC stage. As we did our medicals, I was diagnosed with hypertension. Aside from creatinine test, I was referred to cardiologist. Stress test and 2D echo results were not satisfactory. It denotes some cardio problems, CT scan was done. Result was also not impressive due to one artery with moderate stenosis. Ended up a need to do angiogram + FFR test. FFR test result was good enough to get cleared from cardiologist, and angioplasty was not necessary.

I am sharing my experiences, to give glory to God and to inspire those who struggle kick off their Canadian dream. I would say, chase for your dream, always pray for wisdom and guidance from Above and He will make a way!