#‘m sorry i’ve been gone 4 so long…

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

You’re Losing Me

Finnick Odair x Reader

Summary: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s “You’re Losing Me.” How Finnick loses the best thing he’s ever had

Warnings: So much angst, the angsty-est thing I’ve written in a long time. Not spellchecked and originally types on my phone. 

Word Count: 1.3k (sorry it’s short, I’m getting used to writing one shots again)

Masterlist

I sat quietly in m- Finnick’s home in Victor’s Village. No matter how long I lived here and how many assurances I had gotten in the past that it was my home too, it never felt like that. I’m not a victor, just a girl who had been lucky enough to never be reaped. But because of my luck I felt like an outsider in my boyfriend’s community here in 4. As for his life in the Capitol? That was uncharted territory I never wanted to touch. As much as he tried to shield me from the issues I was keenly aware of Finnick’s role in the Capitol as well as the conniving souls that dwelled in it.

As I was stewing in my thoughts Finnick entered, clearly exhausted from his time in the Capitol. “Hey,” I called softly, not bothering to look up since I knew he wouldn’t.

I got a grumbled greeting as he continued into his bedroom. His dismissal stung but I had mostly gotten used to it. I wasn’t sure what changed. Maybe he was just exhausted now, maybe someone else has replaced me in his mind, maybe he has gotten tired of my presence, I didn’t quite know. All I knew was that three months ago he had gotten back from this year’s games and he was completely different. He wasn’t the doting boyfriend who was eager to see me anymore. But I just took it because I knew my heart couldn’t take losing him and yet I felt like he was losing me. I could actually feel my affections slipping away, it was like my heart wouldn’t start for him anymore. It wasn’t hell, it was purgatory.

Sighing I got up, heading to the guest room seeing as there was no point in me sitting up.

~

By morning I was up early, way earlier than Finnick. So I went to the market in an effort to avoid the crowds and get groceries before the sun had a chance to spoil them.

Returning to the house I found Finnick standing in the kitchen in half-dressed disarray. “Y/N,” he breathed as I stepped into view. I stared at him blankly, unsure what to make of the situation. He stumbled over to me, kicking off the half laced up shoe. I couldn’t even comprehend what was happening, still unsure of myself when he threw his arms around me. My own arms unable to move both because my brain was still catching up and my arms were weighed down by heavy grocery bags. “You didn’t come to bed last night,” he whispered in explanation, “and then you were gone this morning— Y/N, I love you so much.”

A part of me was relieved to have his attention again but my logical side was saying that this man had disregarded me for months. I scoffed, “How can you say you love me when you didn’t even know I was dying for the past three months? Or didn’t even acknowledge it.”

He stepped back, looking down in shame. “I’m sorry, I just- I couldn’t admit that we were sick.”

“You made us like that. You just stopped acknowledging me.” Tears were slipping out of my eyes now.

“I was trying to protect you,” he admitted. “You know how the Capitol feels about me.”

“Stop, you’re losing me. I know how they felt about you even before we got together. It’s something else,” I confronted him. I waited expectantly but Finnick just stared at the floor. Exasperated and feeling every emotion in existence I filled the silence. “Do something, say something, lose something, risk something, choose something, anything just don’t ignore me,” I begged. Realizing he wouldn’t do anything I spoke again after a beat of silence. “Well if you won’t fight for us… then let me go.” My heart shattered with those words.

That finally got Finnick to respond as he looked up. “What?” He approached me before dropping to his knees, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Y/N please don’t. Please stay, I’m sorry,” now he was crying and begging.

“Look, I wouldn’t marry me either,” I confessed, “but I just wanted you to see me. But I gave you all my best, and all of my empathy but you just watched me bleed.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t.”

“Why now?”

“Because we’re just sitting in darkness and it’s time. Finnick,” the tears were coming so fast I could hardly speak, “I could never lose you but you’re losing me so please, I’m begging you, let me go.”

I felt his arms wrap tighter around me as his body wracked with sobs. “Goodbye Y/N.”

“Thank you,” I sobbed, running my fingers through his hair one last time before stepping out of his grasp. As I grabbed a couple things I watched him fold in on himself sobbing.

~

Finnick felt empty, he had for the past several months now that Y/N was gone. He knew it was selfish but he wished he hadn’t let her go because if he hadn’t uttered those words, she’d still be in his home right now.

Instead, he’s sitting in a bar in 4, ready to get blackout drunk when she walks in, hanging off the arm with an old friend, Ronan Hayden. A guy Finnick had had continuous issues with while he was dating Y/N.

Finnick tried to swallow his anger in the form of his first shot but it only made him angrier. So he ordered a beer, thinking that a slower drink may take his mind off of it.

After stewing for an hour and with his inhibitions lowered by the alcohol, Finnick had had enough watching Y/N laugh at Ronan’s jokes. Taking another shot for courage, Finnick stormed up to her table.

As the angry blond approached, Y/N finally seemed to realize her ex was in the same establishment she was. “Finnick,” she acknowledged in surprise.

“What the hell-” Ronan began angrily.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Finnick cut him off. “I really am and I know no amount of words can undo the pain I put you through but I have to try to atone for what I did. You know how they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone? I’m so so sorry I couldn’t appreciate you then but I can now. I’ll spend the rest of our lives appreciating you and trying to make up for what I did and for the months we lost because I was acting like a dick. And- and,” Finnick was nervous and rambling now, sobriety seeming to kick in, “I’ve thought about what you’d do or say when you saw my face again. Whether you’d have me back or tell me to go fuck myself,” he chuckled awkwardly. “But I needed to try.”

She pursed her lips, looking conflicted before she looked down at the table, both men eager for her affections waiting with bated breath. “Finnick… for months while we were still together and weeks after I tried to restart my pulse but my heart just won’t start for you anymore. You wouldn’t choose me and I’m not convinced you’d consistently choose me if I took you back. All I wanted was for you to see me but you kept running in the other direction. An- and honestly,” she stuttered out nervously, turning to look at Ronan, “I’m falling in love again.” The man visibly melted at her words while Finnick deflated. “I’ll be honest, our breakup devastated me,” she looked back up at her ex, “it was like a plane was going down but Ronan here turned it around. I’m sorry Finnick, but you lost me.”

With those words she cemented the door shut and completely tore out Finnick’s heart. He solemnly nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry I lost you.”

Masterlist

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 4,942 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female!Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: S10, The Reapers Warnings: language, violence, gore, angst A/N: This is Part 4 of a series! Find all the parts on my pinned post, the Master List Summary: Daryl helps Y/N and DJ get settled in Alexandria.

Part 3

You walked beside Daryl, a teary smile on your face as you looked ahead at Judith and RJ running and playing with Dog. “It seems impossible that this little girl is the same chubby baby I fed pureed carrots to,” you laughed. “And RJ... They’re beautiful, Daryl.”

“Yeah. They are.” The softness on Daryl’s face was threatening to melt you into a puddle. His eyes turned to DJ next, and that softness remained.

You met his blue eyes again and your lips were drawn down in a soft pout. Tears brimmed in your eyes. “I’m so sorry,” you said. “About Rick. And now Michonne’s gone off… Maggie told me.”

“Yeah,” Daryl drawled, ducking his head and fighting the tidal wave of anxiety and grief and hopelessness that always crested in his chest when he thought of his lost brother. “‘M sorry too. Mostly for them,” he said, nudging his head toward the kids again. “But it’s been hard on everybody…”

“Including you, I’m sure.” Tears burned in your eyes again and you did your best to blink them away. Rick and Michonne were family, and you had hoped to reunite with them again too as soon as you’d found Maggie. The news about much of your old family had been hard to take, especially after losing everyone else at your community so recently. But you knew how deep and unhealing that wound must be for Daryl, losing a true brother…

Daryl hummed a response but you let the topic drop for now.

Alexandria was certainly left worse for wear since the Whisperers had briefly occupied it with their horde. Daryl cast a sideways glance at you as if worried about your reaction to the destruction and mess you were now walking through.

“Ain’t usually like this… ya just arrived at the end of a full-on war,” he said.

Far from seeing concern or judgement on your face, Daryl noted that you seemed to be seeing it with eyes that picked out the potential. He felt another swell of warmth for you. “If it’s home for you, then it’ll be home for us too,” you said. “And I’ll be more than happy to help however I can with the rebuilding.”

Home. It was true that Alexandria was home, and he would die to defend it and the people in it, but there was another home that he’d lost a long time ago, and it was now walking beside him… Then, he suddenly remembered what Carol had said to him at the wall. “Please tell me you aren’t going to stick them in some random empty apartment or house.” His feet must have faltered because you turned and glanced over at him immediately.

“Everything okay?”

“Uhh—yeah… I just—” he chewed anxiously on his bottom lip for a moment, and you nearly smiled. It was the same nervous habit he’d always had. “I was thinkin’, if you and DJ wanted to… I mean, ya could stay at my place. I’ve got a spare bedroom—s’where Jude and RJ usually sleep when I’ve got ‘em, but that ain’t no big deal. I can make ‘em up bedrolls on the floor in my room if they’re stayin’ or—” he was rambling nervously, “—if ya ain’t comfortable with that, I mean, stayin’ at my place, we’ve got plenty of other apartments and houses. We could set ya up somewhere else—I just thought, with DJ, might be easier—and maybe would be, I dunno, would be—"

“Daryl—” You stopped him with a hand gentle on his arm. “Of course we’d love to stay with you, if you’re okay with the extra trouble.”

He gulped. The last fucking thing he wanted now was to be parted from you and DJ, even if it was just by half a block. “Ain’t no extra trouble,” he drawled quietly, slightly transfixed from the touch of your hand on his arm.

You laughed. “You say that now… but you may have forgotten over the last decade, I can be a handful,” you joked. “And DJ? He takes after his dad in some ways.”

Daryl let out an amused exhale and shook his head. “Poor kid,” he joked, but you shot him a look.

“Lucky kid,” you corrected him. God, he’d missed that. You had always been so affirming to him. You had unwavering confidence in him and you told him and showed him every damn day. His internal monologue was often so dark, especially lately with things all seeming to go wrong. But you had always shown a light on him, always told him so earnestly that he was good and loved even when he didn’t believe it or didn’t feel he deserved it himself. He felt a swell of gratitude and emotion and fought against what felt like a huge bubble in his chest that was getting ready to burst. Your voice interrupted him.

“So. Which way is home?” You were looking at him expectantly.

“Uhh, this way,” he murmured, tilting his head toward the next street over. He let out a loud whistle and Dog turned and came rushing back. “Hey—Jude, RJ. Let’s go! We’re gonna help Y/N and DJ get settled, alright?”

“Uncle Daryl?” RJ said when he had trotted over, looking up with shining brown eyes.

“Yeah, bud?”

“I’m hungry,” he said.

Daryl ruffled a hand through his own hair a little anxiously. “Yeah… yeah, we’ll have to see ‘bout that in a bit. Let’s head home first and then I’ll figure that out, okay?”

You and Daryl exchanged a knowing glance. Keeping growing kids nourished was a constant worry.

“Mom?” DJ asked you softly. You looked down at him with a questioning look. He dug into his small bag and pulled out an apple. It was slightly bruised on one side, but shone bright red in the sun and seemed just as crisp as when you’d picked it for him a few days back. “Can I?” he asked. Your heart swelled and you nodded as you ran your fingers down one of the wavy strands of his brown hair.

“Of course. That’s a very kind thing to do,” you said proudly.

DJ trotted a few paces to catch up to RJ and then nudged him gently with his elbow, holding out the apple to him. RJ took it excitedly and thanked him with a broad smile. He took a huge bite and then offered it to Judith, who also happily shared it. Pretty soon the three of them were sharing it like old pals.

Daryl was smiling as he watched the exchanged. “That’s some kid ya’ve got,” he said softly.

“You mean that we’ve got,” you corrected him. “He’s your son, Daryl.”

Daryl gulped and looked down at you, his eyes still a little wide with disbelief. We. You’d said we. He wanted so desperately to read into that and allow his mind to run on with all his foolish hopes… He nudged his nose up in a shy nod and chewed on his bottom lip a moment. A son. He had a son.

The kids ran ahead, chasing after Dog and throwing a stick for him time and time again, until finally Daryl cleared his throat and nodded toward the nearest condo on the end of a small row. “This is me,” he said. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck nervously. “Yer place now too, if ya think it’ll work okay. And ya don’t mind a bit’a dog hair.” It was as if he needed to give you every opportunity to change your mind.

“DJ and I have been sleeping wherever I could find the smallest bit of shelter or safety for quite a while now. We moved every day. This is going to be a huge change for the better. Thank you.” You studied his expression again. “And I don’t mind the dog hair,” you laughed. Dog seemed to have heard you because he came and slipped through the space between your legs, stopping and leaning to one side, rubbing his body against your leg, looking up at you. You laughed and bent to give him neck scratches and he was soon licking your face.

“He likes ya,” Daryl said. There was a smile in his voice. He took that moment and allowed himself to take in the way the afternoon light was illuminating the hues in your eyes as you glanced back up at him and the shine in your hair. He felt like he’d been transported to some alternate dimension—he was so used to struggling to live every day without you and suddenly… here you were. Dog finally darted to the garage door, prancing anxiously on his front paws, and Daryl collected himself enough to go over and push it up. RJ and Judith raced in after Dog, but DJ waited back.

Your eyes went immediately to the bike parked there. “Oh my God,” you said, grinning. The light in your eyes now seemed to be sparking on his behalf as you strode over to it. You shot him a brilliant look and Daryl’s heart skipped a beat and then sped up. “This is amazing. Did you build this?” you asked, touching it here and there.

Daryl brushed a hand back through his hair and shrugged. “Yeah. Aaron, you’ll meet Aaron, he had been collectin’ parts for years before he brought our group in. He didn’t really know what to do with them. First damn thing I did after I was sure Alexandria was gonna be real, safe, was put ‘em to good use.”

DJ was looking at the bike with eager interest and excitement. “You built it? From scrap?” he asked again.

Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod. “Yep.”

“Can I have a ride?” he asked excitedly.

Daryl smiled. “Yeah. ‘Course. Uhh—as long as that’s okay with yer mom,” Daryl said, glancing your direction, resting a hand on the handlebar.

“Nobody safer to ride with,” you said, nodding. “As long as you wear a helmet, DJ. But not today. Maybe tomorrow, if the weather is good, alright?” DJ seemed satisfied with that and ran ahead into the condo after Judith and RJ. You glanced over at Daryl again and his eyes were already on you. He was wringing his hands a little anxiously. “Well, when do I get a ride from you again? It’s been a while. Maybe tonight?” Daryl’s mouth dropped slightly open and you laughed nervously when you realized the obvious innuendo. You felt your cheeks flushing. “The bike!” you said in a hurry. “I meant on—” you pressed a hand up to your face and ducked his gaze. Daryl was gulping nervously. “Jesus—I meant on the—” You sighed and laughed again, quite sure that your face was still bright red.

Daryl rubbed a hand over the back of his neck awkwardly, but he was also feeling a heat in his chest like you’d just struck flint and steel to tinder and he too let out a small, awkward laugh. Not to mention that intimate scenes he held dearly deep in his mind were suddenly rushing into the forefront like they’d been called. He could still feel the shape of your hip under his hand like it was just yesterday, or the softness of you as his fingertips dimpled into your skin… He could see the water cascading down your body as he pressed you back against the wall of the shower. He could hear your hurried breathing, the breathy way you used to say his name… The noises of pleasure he’d been able to pull from you. When he couldn’t sleep or when things were just too dark, he’d let his mind wander over those memories, but he had to limit himself. Otherwise, he would have run the risk of living entirely there in that daydream, forgetting the now, and then how would he have kept going, knowing it may be lost forever? And then suddenly you were made real in front of him again. Here. You were right here. Shit. Get it together, man. He refocused his attention on the expectant look on your face. “Uhh—lemme show ya inside,” he drawled.

You bit your bottom lip and followed him in. The kids were all piled on the couch, Dog in front of them, and your heart lifted to see DJ interacting with Jude and RJ so easily. There must have been a smile on your face because Daryl was looking at you with the corners of his eyes crinkled in one too.

“It’s been a long time since he’s been able to be around any other kids, before Hershel, I mean,” you said. The smile faded again and Daryl thought you looked suddenly veiled in sadness briefly.

“C’mon,” he said, tilting his head toward the small hallway. “Bathroom in there,” he said, passing the small room on the right. “Here’s the spare room,” he said. Out of habit he tried to flick on the light and then remembered that the Whisperers had trashed the solar panels and he flicked it back off. “Uhh… sorry. No power back up yet.”

“Haven’t had power in years,” you said. “Won’t even miss it.”

Daryl ruffled his fingers back through his hair again. “We’ll get it back up,” he said with certainty. “‘Til then I got plenty of candles and lanterns and stuff. Remind me before it gets dark. My room is just—” he pointed down the hall to the next door, “right there.”

You leaned on the doorframe next to him and looked in at the little room. A bed. A real bed. “Thanks for this.”

He ducked his head and nodded, shifting nervously beside you. “Yeah. S’nothin’. Dun need to thank me.”

There was a loud squeal from one of the kids and you both moved back to the main room. Dog had jumped on the couch with the three of them and was now laying fully across their laps. You hadn’t seen such a grin on DJ’s face in what felt like a lifetime. You glanced around the room, taking in the space and what Daryl had done to make it his. There were various antlers and pelts around, and the coffee table had a few old books on it, the top one about piracy. “Hmm,” you hummed.

“What?” he asked.

“Nice place you have here. It’s very Daryl,” you said, a small smile curving your lips. “It suits you. Though maybe a cabin in the woods would still suit you better.”

Daryl’s stomach suddenly clenched. A cabin in the woods. Fuck. He had to tell you. He had to figure out how the fuck to tell you…

“What do you think?” you asked him, and Daryl suddenly realized you must have been talking to him.

“Sorry, what?”

“Think the kids would be okay here on their own for a while so we can go try and find some food for everyone?”

He nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, and we can ask Rosita and Gabe to look in on ‘em.”

Your face brightened. “Please, let’s go see Rosita.”

Daryl nodded. “Yeah, course. And—Gabriel ain’t the same anymore,” Daryl said. “He’s turned out to be real good to have around.”

You shook your head and let out a laugh of disbelief. “You remember what I said when he finally got down off that rock?”

Daryl snorted out a laugh and nodded. “Yeah. Ya asked if we could put him back.” You laughed again more earnestly.

“And—him and Rosita? Really? I mean, Maggie told me but it’s still hard to wrap my brain around…”

Daryl laughed again, fiddling anxiously with a rock on the side table. “I think that took all of us by surprise at first,” Daryl drawled. “But—” he shrugged. “They do seem to be doin’ good together. C’mon. Let’s get goin’ while we still got daylight.” He stepped farther into the room and managed to grab the kids’ attention. “Hey—Jude. Yer the oldest, so yer in charge, alrigh’? We’re just gonna go see about some dinner, okay? If we ain’t back when it’s startin’ to get dark, ya go to Aunt Rosita’s or find Uncle Jerry and Aunt Nabila at their place, okay? And keep away from that part of the wall tha’s down. I mean it. Ya can show DJ around, but I don’t want ya over there.”

Jude nodded and agreed. “Okay.”

“Dog, get down,” Daryl said, and the Malinois jumped back onto the rug. Daryl hugged Jude and ruffled RJ’s hair. Then he held a fist out to DJ, who eagerly bumped it with his own and grinned. Daryl knelt down so he was at their eye level again. “We’ll be back just as soon as we can, alrigh’? Ya’ll be good and stay safe. Jude, ya got yer sword? Good. You and DJ, watch out for RJ.”

Your heart felt like it grew three sizes just watching him reassuring the kids and making sure that everyone was alright for you both to leave. “We’ll try not to be too long,” you said, and you went and grabbed each of them in a hug, leaving a kiss on the top of DJ’s head too. “Keep your bow with you,” you told him. “Good. See you soon, hopefully with some dinner.”

The reunion with Rosita was emotional, and you cooed over baby Coco with her and lamented the loss of Siddiq when she told you what had happened in brief. By the time you were heading back to Daryl’s to grab his bike and head out, you agreed that Gabriel was an entirely different person than he had been when you’d known him. “Gotta admit… the eye and still wearing the stuffy outfit—it’s definitely a look,” you said, walking back beside Daryl.

He let out a small laugh and glanced over at you. “Like I said, he ain’t the same.” He strapped his crossbow onto the bike and slung his leg over, standing up so you could slip on behind him. Nervous flutters were already rising before you even climbed on, and when your hands finally settled lightly on his sides, he felt like his body temp rose a hundred degrees. He did his best not to stiffen with nerves and settled down on the seat. “Ain’t sure what we’ll find out there,” he said. “Those assholes brought a horde through ‘round here. Scared off most of the game.”

Your arms looped around him more fully and he gulped again. “Fish probably didn’t run away. Neither did the plants and fungi. We’ll find something,” you said ardently. “We always find something.”

Daryl started his bike and, for a brief moment, thought he felt your cheek press to the back of his shoulder. “Ya ready?”

“Hell yeah!” you yelled over the engine, and he could hear the smile in your voice.

_ _ _ _ _ _

“Having any luck?” you asked Daryl as you approached from out of the woods nearby again, a canvas bag that now seemed rather full clutched in your hand.

“Mhm… Carp. Gonna taste like mud,” he said, nodding to the huge fish lying on the grass beside him. “But they’re definitely better than nothin’. You?”

“Yeah. Found a good haul of mushrooms—chantarelles, oyster mushrooms, chicken of the woods. And a bunch of edible plants. Ramps?” you held up a clump of something from your bag.

“Uhhh—am I s’posed to know what the hell yer talkin’ about?”

You laughed heartily and Daryl’s heart skipped a beat, as it seemed to do damn near every time you did anything. “Ramps!” you said again. “They’re a wild onion. Taste kind of like a cross between garlic and scallions.”

“Hmm,” Daryl nod, turning his attention back to the river and shooting an arrow into the now writhing form of a dark fish. “Learn somethin’ new ev’ry day. I think I always just called them wild onions. No need to be fancy about it,” he teased you, grabbing his arrow and the impaled fish with it.

You gave him a look and then turned your eyes back to the pile of large fish on the bank. “I think we have enough here for quite a bit soup. We’ll be able to feed some hungry kids tonight.”

Daryl retrieved his arrow and grabbed a bag for the fish from his pack. “Tha’s what it’s all about,” he said.

You spun around as you heard a twig snap somewhere behind you in the trees. Daryl stood and grabbed his bow again, immediately on edge, and paced several steps forward in the soft grass until he was slightly in front of you. It was a protective instinct he’d always had… even now it came back like old muscle memory.

The snap of the dry wood was soon followed by a growing growl sound and the two of you both breathed sighs of relief. “Goddamn walker. Tha’s all,” he drawled.

“Yeah,” you agreed, though the worry didn’t leave your face completely. Daryl was again sharply aware that you’d been through some very serious shit very recently, shit he didn’t yet know the full extent of. “We should get back. It’s going to start getting dark soon.”

“Yeah. I was just thinkin’ the same thing.” Daryl unsheathed his knife and advanced on the scrawny and emaciated looking rotter ambling toward the two of you. He lunged with a perfectly placed strike and sunk his blade into its head. It crumpled to the leaf litter and laid still.

The two of you strode back toward his bike, side by side, and you glanced over at him when you felt his eyes on you. “Hmm?” you prompted him, adjusting your hold on the foraging bag stuffed full of ingredients over your shoulder.

He shrugged and looked back down toward where he was placing his boots. “Will ya tell me—uhh… ‘bout when he was born? I mean—where were ya and—guess I just wanna know ‘bout it all,” he said.

Your expression was soft as you looked back at him and Daryl relaxed some. “Yeah, of course. Daryl, you can ask me anything you want to about DJ. Really about anything. Ask me anything about anything,” you laughed. “I’ll do my best to answer. Oh—and remind me to show you the book when the kids are in bed tonight.”

“The book?”

You nodded. “Yeah. The book.”

He nodded, intrigued. “Alrigh’.”

You sighed, looking ahead and taking in the way the light was filtering through the leaves still clinging to the craggy oak branches. “When DJ was born, I was still in Georgia. You remember how I said people just were finding me or I was finding them?” Daryl nodded. “I had been trying to scavenge supplies from this huge department store, get ready for the baby and find some more vitamins and stuff. I thought there was a good chance there were supplies left inside because the parking area had been some kind of military checkpoint or something and the whole thing had these huge fences chain link fences topped with razor wire. I hadn’t seen any walkers in there… I found some fence cutters and made a way inside. Pried a door open and got into the building. I was right. There were supplies in there,” you laughed dryly. “But the reason I hadn’t seen any walkers was because there were people living inside.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed heavily.

“I was lucky—very lucky. They turned out to be good people, just a small group of survivors. A found family. They saw, immediately of course, that I was pregnant and one of them happened to be a midwife. They were all with me when I went into labor. We had left the store by then. There were getting to be too many dead in the suburbs and we’d headed away from the populated areas. We took a Jeep and a truck full of supplies and found this farmhouse and set up there for the winter. It reminded a little of Hershel’s farm. We had a decent stock of supplies and I had everything I needed for the baby but I was still terrified of course… especially after what happened to Lori. But everything went smoothly and after an excruciating 14 hours of labor, I delivered a healthy baby boy and named him Daryl as soon as I saw him.” Tears brimmed in your eyes as you looked over at him again. Your voice was soft and breathy when you spoke again and you’d had to fight to get the words out. “I wish you were there,” you said. “I wished that more than anything at the time and still. He was just this tiny little thing, all wiry arms and legs.” You sniffled and tried to pull yourself back together. “For a birth in the apocalypse, I was very lucky,” you said with a dry laugh.

You walked in silence for a while, each of you sinking into your own thoughts, but Daryl finally broke it again. “Those people—were any of ‘em still with ya when—were any of them with ya when yer community was attacked?”

The weight of it settled back over you and you nodded. “Yeah. Two of them were.” The only sound was the soft noise of the damp earth and leaf litter beneath your boots.

“‘M sorry,” Daryl drawled. “We’ve all lost a lotta people over the years, but I ain’t never lost everybody all at once like ya have. Not really. I mean, it felt that way when the prison fell, but I knew there were more of us out there. I knew you were out there, somehow.”

The muscle in your jaw tensed and you nodded, looking up again at the last bit of afternoon light waning against the tops of the trees. In a moment, the tension on your face seemed to pass and you glanced back over at him. “We’ve all lost people. Who’s to say what’s better or worse?”

On the ride back to Alexandria, Daryl swore you held on even more tightly to him than you had on the way out, and he knew he wasn’t imagining that you were leaning into him.

_ _ _ _ _ _

The fish and foraged ingredients had made a huge pot of soup, enough to feed all the kids in Alexandria and a good many adults too. Everyone’s mood was jovial with a full stomach as you sat around the little table with Daryl and the kids. It wasn’t lost on you that DJ and Daryl ate exactly the same; ravenously, unabashedly, and frequently using their sleeves as napkins. It had you smiling through most of the meal. Daryl had caught you staring at him once.

“What?” he prompted you, hurriedly wiping a sleeve across his mouth as if he thought he had food stuck there.

You smiled and shook your head. “Nothing.”

You’d tried to convince Carol to come for dinner but she’d insisted she didn’t want to intrude on your first night back. She gladly accepted some of the soup though, and you’d made her promise to come find you the next day. Now, you and Daryl were telling Judith, RJ, and DJ old stories and regularly cracking them up into fits of giggles. Dog was happily chewing a scavenged deer bone on the rug.

“Hey, what ‘bout that time,” Daryl had to pause and let out a gruff laugh, pointing at you. “‘Member, ya flipped the bird at that squatter? And then—”

“Alright!” you said standing up hurriedly, and cutting him off on purpose. “I think they can hear the rest of that story when they’re all older! Kids, help me clear the table please,” you said, grabbing Daryl’s plate and shooting him a look. His blue eyes were smiling and they followed you all the way into the kitchen as he leaned back in his chair.

Judith and RJ wanted to stay the night since they hadn’t seen their Uncle Daryl in so long (and you were definitely an added bonus) so you helped him set up bed rolls for them on the floor in his room before tucking DJ in in your own bed down the hall. You stroked his hair away from his face and kissed his forehead.

“Mom,” he started, yawning and sinking more deeply into his pillow.

“Mhm?”

“I think I really like this place. And… it’s nice to be around other kids again. This feels like a family,” he said and you nodded in agreement, smiling serenely.

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“So… can we stay?” he asked.

“What do I always say?”

“‘We can stay as long as we can stay’,” he recited.

“Right. But, if it makes you feel better, I think and I hope that will be a long time.”

[coldfanbou]

Cheer up (ICSM PT 4)

Hi everyone, here is part 4 of ICSM. This part is more focused on the story than sex. I hope you can still enjoy it.

Length: 2.7K

Jihyo x M reader

Previous Part

You hold Jihyo in your arms, her cries growing louder, and her tears pierce through your shirt. You try to be strong for her, but you are nearly crumbling. She tries to say something, but it’s impossible. Her shuddering breaths kept her from getting the words out. For a moment, she can speak, “Please don’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“I’m here, Jihyo; I’ll always be here for you” You start to move into her room, holding her to your chest the entire time. You sit on her bed; she straddles you. She still holds onto you as tight as ever, her chest heaving with every breath. “Jihyo, I'm sorry for ever hurting you. I never meant to.” You can hear Jihyo’s sniffling as she starts to calm herself.  She pulls herself away from you; you’re finally able to look into her eyes again. She’s been through so much pain; she’s pushed herself away from you and her members. She’s been all alone for so long. She’s probably kept herself hidden away in her room, only ever coming out for schedule’s having to put on a smiling face knowing that her members had taken someone she cared about away from her.

You place your hand on her face wiping away the tears on her cheek. You don’t know what to say. Should you apologize again and beg for forgiveness? You don’t know. The two of you sit silently; the few seconds that go by feel like an eternity. You’re going to be the first to talk, “I-I missed you, Jihyo. I did; I do miss you. Ever since that day, I regret everything that’s gone on. You don’t need to forgive me. I know I’ve hurt you in a way that I can’t even begin to understand. I just want to tell you properly that I’m sorry.”  Jihyo presses her hand onto yours.

“I know. I’m sorry, too. I locked you out. I never wanted to talk to you again; I was hurt. I was heartbroken; They had stolen my secret little world from me. I-I” she shakes her head, cutting herself off. “I cut you off and made you suffer with me. I know I said I didn’t want to talk but can we?”

“Of course, that’s all I ever wanted” You try to smile for her.

“It’s after we got caught in the locker room; we all got to the dorms and started arguing about sharing you. I didn’t want to; they asked why and I couldn’t say anything. They took that as me giving in. I’m the one that put you in this position. If I just said something, then may-maybe.” Jihyo starts to break down again; you hug her and try to calm her.

“It’s alright, Jihyo, it’s alright.”

Jihyo screams out, “It’s not alright! They took you from me!” Her cries interrupt her, and she gets quiet. “You were mine; it was just you and me. We talked, we laughed, we cried. You were always there for me and now.” Jihyo stops and holds you close. “Listen, I know we were just friends with benefits, and I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I love you” You’re stunned at her words; Jihyo loves you. You tighten your grip around her. She continues, “When they asked me why I wouldn’t share you, why I wouldn’t share a friend with benefits. It made me realize that you meant a lot more to me. I couldn’t admit that at the time, and then I saw Nayeon send that message. I just felt angry and sad; I was lost. I didn’t want to be here anymore; I didn’t want to exist.” You rub Jihyo’s back; she went through a lot in that time you two hadn’t talked. 

“Jihyo, before we were friends with benefits, we were friends we spent so much tie together. We had tons of fun, all those trips, those stupid arguments. We were friends, and at some point, my feelings changed. I never said anything because I was afraid. You could do so much better than me, you could have anyone in the world, but hearing you say that means a lot. I’m glad you’re still here, Jihyo…I love you. I-” 

Jihyo pulls back from you, stunned, and cuts you off. “You love me?” 

“Yes, I love you, Park Jihyo.” She lurches into another kiss; it’s strong, but there’s a soft tenderness behind it. She’s holding you tighter than ever before. Her soft lips pressed against yours; you can feel her relief, her happiness through them. As you look at Jihyo's face, you see she’s crying tears of joy. You fall back onto the bed, taking Jihyo with you. Wiping away her tears, you see a smile forming. Her hands are on your chest as her lips leave yours. It’s only now that you both realize that you have a bulge.

“Really? We’re making up and confessing to each other, and you have a hard-on?” Jihyo jokes. She wipes away her tears, a beautiful smile on her face. Your heart flutters seeing her like that; she’s getting to be happy again after spending weeks in such a dark place. You go back to acting how things were before.

“Look, I can explain.”

“Let’s hear it then.”

“You’re hot,” Jihyo bursts out in laughter. It’s refreshing to hear her laugh, filling the room with joy. Right now, things are returning to normal between you two. You look up at Jihyo, her pained expression now one of joy. You felt your heart beat faster; you loved this woman, and she loved you. Things might’ve been rough, but maybe you could make it together.

“You’re such an idiot. You know that?”

“Yeah, I know, but you love me, so who’s the real idiot.” 

“Call me an idiot one more time. I dare you.” A sexual tension gathered in the air as Jihyo said that. Her tone of voice was one of confidence; she knew how you would respond.  

“You are an…idiot,” You take your time saying slowly, layering it with sarcasm. You ignited the spark between you two.

“Alright, I warned you,” Jihyo starts grinding herself against your bulge. You feel small waves of pleasure wash over you. “Should’ve kept your mouth shut.” Jihyo’s enjoying herself doing this to you.

“You know I can’t.”  You decide to flip her over, so you're on top of her. 

“Hey, no fair, you’re the one who needs to be punished.” You capture her lips and grab at her tits. She moaned, allowing you to push your tongue into her mouth. Jihyo starts to get your pants and boxers off as your tongues wrestle. After some struggle, she’s finally able to get them off you. She grabs your cock, and starts to jerk you off quickly. Her action causes you to recoil, and now it’s Jihyo’s turn to flip you over.  Before you can do anything, she takes your cock into her mouth. Your head falls back onto the bed, and you accept defeat. As Jihyo continues to bob her head, her tongue swirls around your cock. She pops you out of her mouth before asking, “You ready to give up?”

“I gave up the moment you started sucking my dick,” You tell her. She laughs at this.

“Come on; you have to put up a little bit more of a fight.” She jests as she goes back to bobbing her head on your cock. You can feel the warm wetness of her mouth; moans escape you as she continues to bob. 

“Jihyo, I won’t last much longer.” 

“Well, too bad you have to.” It’s muffled, but you understand what she said. She pops you out of her mouth again. Jihyo rubs the head of your cock against her lips before giving it a big kiss. She undoes her bra and throws it to the side along with her shirt. Jihyo’s big tits are free for you to see. You marvel at their size. Jihyo knows how much you love her tits, so she raises her hands above her and purposely bounces on the bed. Her tits bounced along with her. “Stop staring. It’s not the first time you’ve seen them.” her voice teases you.

“Well, I’m sorry that your tits are so perfect; I just have to” You probably shouldn’t respond so snarkily while she’s in control, but it was too late. She squeezes your cock between her tits then she starts to move. Her tits are as soft as ever; you can feel them completely engulf your cock when Jihyo moves toward your tip. You moan out Jihyo’s name; she quickens her pace trying to make you cum.

“I’m going to cum, Jihyo,” As she drops her tits around your cock she deepthroats it, sending you over the edge. You cum down her throat; she bobs her head a few times, trying to coax more out of you. She leaves your cock with a kiss before crawling forward, taking off her pants and underwear as she does so. You can see her tits sway from side to side as you look at her. It’s hypnotic. The look in Jihyo’s eyes was one of lust now. She straddles your hips, hovering above your cock. She drops herself without a word. As your cock is devoured by her pussy you let out a loud moan that Jihyo interrupts with a kiss. She forces you to grab her tits and start playing with them. As she bounces on your cock you can’t help but stare at her as a whole. Her hair flies around, and the look on her face as she goes through the throes of pleasure is fantastic. Her tits bounce as she moves, her toned abs slowly starting to shine with her sweat. That’s not to mention how her pussy eagerly takes in your cock. The way that it disappears inside her is a sight to behold. While you experiencing this, though, your mind wanders. It’s magical to you how a woman like this loves you. You want to stay in this moment forever. Unfortunately, you can’t stay like this much longer as you can feel your orgasm coming. “Jihyo, I’m cumming again.”

“That’s fine; I’m cumming too.” 

You have to tell her again, “Jihyo, I love you” Her walls tighten around you upon hearing that.

“I love you too; I love you so much.” Jihyo cums; her walls are milking you dry, and she goes through her orgasm. As she calms down, she rolls over and lays her head on your chest, and you wrap your arm around her. The two of you lay there recovering; you look down at her every so often. Her face shining with a happy smile, she meets your gaze and moves up for a kiss. You meet her soft lips; there’s a new passion behind them. A newly reignited fire within Jihyo, she won’t back down against Nayeon or the rest of her members. “Hey, what are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, what do we tell them? What do we do?”

“We tell them that I’m not going to fuck them anymore. This whole thing of theirs is over. Jihyo, I want to be with you; I only want you. You’re the one I love; you’re the one I want to be with. We can stand up to them together.”

“Yeah, you’re right, together, you and me.” Jihyo has a reassuring smile as if she’s figuring everything out. “We’ll tell them tomorrow. Tonight you’re  going to be my big teddy bear.” You chuckle at hearing this. Jihyo snuggles closer to you. 

“Good night, Jihyo” You kiss the top of her head and drift off to sleep with her.

While the two of you slept, the other Members of Twice sat in the living room discussing their plans. Nayeon begins asking questions, “Jeongyeon won’t be able to help us; she’s off recovering from her neck injury, so what do we do?” The other members eye each other, unsure of what they will do. 

“I-I think we should stop this” Sana breaks the silence, nervousness in her voice. “Look, we heard them say that they love each other; I don’t want to intrude on that. It’s wrong.”

“I’m not going to give up my toy; it doesn’t matter that he loves her;  it wouldn’t matter if he were married to her; he is ours.” Nayeon is not going to move from her position, “We’ll just break him, make it so he can’t live without us. But if you’re so adamant about stopping, why don’t we take a vote? All those in favor of keeping our plaything?” A silence overcomes the room; Nayeon’s seemingly lost it. It was a simple objection by Sana, and she’s treating it like Sana committed treason.  Chaeyoung is the first to raise her hand and join Nayeon, followed by Dahyun and Momo. Moments pass and no one else raises their hand. The score is four in favor, three against. “There you go, we’re keeping him.”  Nayeon strides toward her room; the meeting is over. The other members sit for a moment before they start to exit one by one. As the three voters against Nayeon sit there, they look at each other, all in silent agreement to help you and Jihyo escape this mess. They quietly make their way to Sana’s room to talk about what exactly their plan is going to be. 

Dispirited, Sana sighs at the outcome of tonight’s meeting. “I was really hoping that everyone would side with me.”

“Hey, at the very least, you have us with you,” Tzuyu says as she tries to cheer Sana up. 

“She’s right, you know. You didn’t know if anyone would side with you. We want to help.” Mina joining Sana’s side was odd to both Tzuyu and Sana. Sana had to ask her why.

“Mina, why are you on our side? I mean, you had sex with him. I thought you would side with Nayeon and want to keep him.”

“He’s a nice guy, plus you heard what he said; he loves Jihyo. That’s enough for me. I’m rooting for them. That and he did fuck me when it was Chaeyoung’s day, so he earned some brownie points. We should be thinking about what to do about Nayeon, though. For now, we can get him and Jihyo out in the morning and put them up in a hotel or something. He can’t return to his apartment; Nayeon will look for him. They can’t go to Jihyo’s parent's house either.”

“Wow, you thought about this a lot Mina,” Sana says with surprise. Despite being the one who started this rebellion against Nayeon, Sana had no plan. Tzuyu was the next to speak up.

“I have a friend who could set him up with a hotel room; they would be a couple of hours south in Busan.”

“You have a friend that can do that?” Sana asks in surprise. “Tzuyu, why haven’t you told us before?”

“It wasn’t important until now; I’ll call her now and get things settled.”

The three discuss the finer detail of moving you and Jihyo out of the dorms without Nayeon and the others finding out. It would be tricky; Nayeon, now knowing there were dissenters around her, would put herself on guard for anything suspicious. You and Jihyo wouldn’t be able to take your phones. They could be tracked; the two of you would have to endure not having any contact with Sana, Mina, and Tzuyu. This posed a threat as being in the dark about what was going on around you made you two vulnerable. The next matter to attend to was what to do when you two were in Busan. You couldn’t just stay hidden forever. This small break in Twice's schedule wouldn’t last forever, and Jihyo would be forced to return to the group. Unfortunately, there are no answers right now. Right now, this small dissenters meeting would have to end. They need to prepare for tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the first of many days to decide the fate you and Jihyo would share.

[drarryweasley]

HP Rec Fest - Part 1 (Days 1-16)

Boy, has it been a moment since I've gone through my fanfic bookmarks. Thankful that @hprecfest has given me a reason to do so and rediscover some old gems!

Anyways making this list made me realize that I'm a connoisseur of explicit content so most of these are smutty and I'll leave that up to you to decide whether that's good or bad

(These are almost exclusively post-war fics where everyone is an adult, unless otherwise stated!)

1. A favorite fic under 5k: If We Lie Like This by everythingokay

(Harry x Charlie Weasley, rated E, 4.1k)

Harry/Charlie is one of my absolute favorite ships of all time, and this is one of the sweetest pwps I've ever read of them, so you know this had to be my first rec.

2. A comfort fic: Lumos by birdsofshore

(Drarry, rated E, 41.5k)

This is one of my oldest bookmarks, and still one of the best. I love, love, love eighth year fics, in no small part because of this one. The summary really says it all:

"Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking."

3. A podfic

I've truly never listened to a podfic in my life, I just prefer reading I'm sorry

4. A fic with art: What Have You Been Hiding Under Those Robes, Professor Malfoy? by Booktopus

(Drarry, Rated E, 15k - art is NSFW!)

Finding art in my fics is such a rare, exciting surprise, especially because I rarely go looking for them. Now, a GIF? And a smutty gif at that? Of tattooed professor Draco? What. A. Find.

5. A non-AO3 fic: The Lust of Gryffindors by Fearful Porpentine

(Harmione + so many pairings/groupings, rated M, 381.5k, aged-up during canon)

Yeah, I'm pretty much exclusively an AO3 girlie, so I don't have many options for this one. Still, this is a standout as one of my favorite smutty extravaganzas.

6. An unreliable narrator fic: Touch by bixgirl1

(Drarry, Rated E, 45k)

I had this fic on my TBR for so long before I actually read it, and when I finally did, I was KICKING myself for waiting so long! I love touch-starved characters finally getting what they need (is it self-fulfilling? perhaps), and I never thought a sleep-deprived Harry could be so funny.

(I'm aware this is an unreliable narrator in the loosest sense of the word but I'm sticking with it because it NEEDS to be recced)

7. A canon-compliant fic: With the Edges Worn Down by MayatheBee

(Harry x Ron x Hermione, rated E, 13k)

By "canon-compliant," we mean "takes place so far in the future that canon can't disprove it," right?

If so, then here's my pick. After Ginny's death, Ron and Hermione decide to finally act on feelings that have been ignored for their entire friendship. It is so, so sweet and so, so hot.

8. A canon-divergence fic: Safe Word is Devil's Snare by ShayaLonnie

(Neville x Hermione, rated E, 97k)

Hot Neville Agenda? Hot Neville Agenda.

Neville is fast becoming one of my favorite characters in fic (both in reading and writing). I'm a sucker for him growing into his self-confidence after the war while still being the same loveable plant guy we know. And a forced marriage with hyper-competent Hermione? Get ready for the spice, y'all.

9. A rare pair fic: 93 Diagon Alley by Schmem_14

(Harry x George, rated M, 30k)

I'm quickly realizing that most of the fic I consume (outside of drarry) is rare pairs, but this is one of the best. Harry and George leaning on each other through their grief, and realizing what they need to get through said grief is, in fact, each other? Sign me up. I usually avoid stories that feature Fred's death as a significant plot point, but this is too well done to ignore.

10. A fest fic: Beware: Naked People Ahead by SonnenFlower

(Lots of pairings, rated M, 6.6k)

I’m recommending this fic not only because of the absolute hilarity of the premise, but because it is a part of one of the best fests I’ve ever come across — the Hermione’s Nook Naked Weasley Fest! This fic had me laughing the whole way through (and crying when I wasn’t.)

11. A dark fic: Whore by orphan_account

(Harry x Fred x George + noncon, etc, rated E, 141.6k, takes place during canon)

Listen, I don't read dark fics very often. They tend to crush my soul and spin me out. This is my "I want to hurt" fic — SO MIND THE TAGS.

12. A WIP you're following: New Blood by artemisgirl

(Pairings still evolving, rated M, currently 1.3 million words, takes place during canon)

As a general rule, I don't read many in-progress fics (this is a personal fault because I get too impatient and invested). But when I started this fic, it had over 1 million words and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon, so I took the plunge. It features a Slytherin, overpowered, badass Hermione, deep fae/wix lore, and a unique twist on all our favorite characters!

13. A fic with over 100k words: Finding Sophrosyne by mlfoyskhione

(Drarry, rated T, 136.5k)

An eighth year fic where everyone in Hogwarts falls into an unwakeable sleep...except Draco and Harry. Absolutely delectable.

14. A favorite series: Harry Potter & Seven Years of Chaos by Severitus812

(Harry x Fred + Severitus, unrated, 1+ million words; takes place during canon)

When I started this fic, the first six parts were published and part of the seventh. I DEVOURED them in a week, and I still haven't gotten around to finishing it because I'm positive it's going to break my heart. Still, an absolute beast of a story that is so, so fun to experience!

15. The most recent fic you bookmarked: The Best Laid Plans by Drarrymadhatter

(Drarry, Draco x George, Harry x Fred, rated E, 6.6k)

Okay, I’ve bookmarked entirely too many fics since the start of this fest, so to avoid repeats, I’m recommending the last fic I bookmarked BEFORE then. Based on my url, it couldn’t be more perfect — Draco, George, Harry, AND Fred? Absolute perfection. Sexy, sexy perfection.

16. A fic that made you laugh: I WANNA SEE SOME ARSE by thefrancakes

(NottPott, rated E, 10.5k)

From the title of this fic through the end of it, I was laughing. And where I wasn’t, I was fanning myself because. Hot. Damn. I’d never shipped Harry and Theo Nott until reading this.

So many excellent fics here...and yet I'm even MORE excited about the next set of prompts! Until then!

[walkerismychoice]

Serendipity - Part 4

Written for @choicesflashfics - Week 34

Prompt 3  — “ I think I need to be drunk to understand this story ”

Book: TRR/OPH

Pairings: Drake Walker x Ava Matheson, Bryce Lahela x Charlie Hawkins

Word count: 1814

Rating: M

TW: Profanity, Suggestive language

A/N: This is a collaboration between @deb-1106​ and @walkerismychoice using the weekly prompts provided by @choicesflashfics As always if you want on or off the tag list, just let me/us know. Deb usually posts to keep it consistent, but we were both kind of scrambling this week, so I’m getting this in under the wire for us. Charlie gasped. "Oh my God! Congratulations! She tilted Ava’s ring from side to side, watching the facets twinkle from the glow of the pendant lights.I'm so happy for you!" But was she? Well of course she was, but why, on some level did she feel a twinge of Jealousy.

"Yeah, Congrats! You're smart to be locking this one down already." Bryce directed his words at Drake and then winked at Ava. "How long have you two known each other again?

Drake glowered at Bryce momentarily but then lightened up. "You know, in absence of all the Whiskey we've had, I might take your comment as an insult, but you're right. I gotta make this thing legal before she realizes she's too good for me, heh."

"Oh stop!" Ava swatted Drake playfully. "You know that would never happen because it's not true." Turning back to Bryce and Charlie she said, "To answer your question, we've known each other about 6 months."

"Wow, 6 months…that's kind of fast," Charlie mused out loud before she could think to censor her thoughts.

Ava laughed. "If you asked me 6 months ago if I'd be anywhere near an engagement right now, I would have told you to get the fuck out of here."

"That's for sure," Drake interjected, and everyone laughed.

“Anyway,” Ava continued, “When you know, you know. There’s no need to wait for some arbitrary, socially acceptable length of time, right?”

“Cheers to that!” Bryce raised his glass towards the center of the table.

The others accepted the invitation and clinked their glasses, even Charlie who wasn’t feeling particularly celebratory. Cheers to that?! Did his agreement with the sentiment mean he wasn’t sure about his future with Charlie yet? Was Charlie just being dramatic? Just yesterday she had no doubts about the pace of her relationship with Bryce, so why did this suddenly feel like a competition she was losing? She felt tears start to prick the corners of her eyes.

“I’m going to use the restroom real quick,” Charlie excused herself without waiting for anyone’s reply. She locked herself in a stall and waited a few minutes until she felt more composed. 

Just as Charlie exited the stall, Ava walked through the restroom door. “Hey, you were gone awhile. Is everything okay?”

Charlie, washing her hands, stared straight ahead and hoped Ava couldn’t tell she’d been crying.  “Yep, just finishing up.”

“Charlie, I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I could tell something was up back at the table. Do you want to talk about it?”

Charlie was mortified. “No, I’m so sorry. This was a big moment for you, and the last thing I wanted to do was make it about me. I’m really not that girl. I don’t know what came over me. Just give me a minute, and I’ll be back out.”

Ava took a towel from the dispenser and handed it to Charlie. “I’m not the type of friend who needs things to be all about me either, so spill it.”

Ava’s tone eased Charlie’s mood just enough to make her feel comfortable opening up. “I’m happy for you and Drake, I really am. It’s just that your engagement announcement suddenly made me doubt what Bryce and I have. We’ve been together two years and marriage hasn’t even come up.”

“Girl, I’ve seen the way Bryce looks at you. He’s not going anywhere. We aren’t all on the same timeline, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I suppose that’s true.” The logical side of Charlie’s brain knew Ava’s was right, and she hoped the emotional side would soon follow. It was at least appeased enought to put this to rest for now.  She looked in the mirror and cringed. “I just need to fix my face, and then I’ll be out.”

Ava fished a makeup wipe from her purse. “Let me help.” She wiped the black streaks from Charlie’s face and then pulled out a small cosmetic bag. “Just a little eye liner and fresh mascara and you’ll be good to go.”

Once Ava finished, Charlie inspected her work. “Wow, can you do my make-up every day? I don’t even know how to properly apply eyeliner.”

Ava laughed. “Better yet, I’ll teach you. We’ll plan a spa night soon.” 

Charlie hugged Ava. “Thank you. And again, I’m sorry.”

“No worries.” Ava pulled away with a smile. “Now let’s get back out there before the guys think we’re attempting a dine and dash.”

Despite a moment of awkward conversation when the woman got back to the table, the rest of dinner went off without a hitch. Charlie’s face hurt from laughing so much.

“Wait,” Drake furrowed his eyebrows, “So you work at the same hospital, but you met in a strip club?”

“It’s a long story,” Bryce began, “but basically I worked as a stripper to pay my way through med school. Charlie saw me and thought I was so hot, she asked for a private lap dance. My moves were incredible and she just had to have me. She asked me to be her plus one at her cousin’s wedding in Jamaica, and the rest is history.”

“Oh God, Bryce” Charlie rolled her eyes. “That’s not exactly what happened. My friends secretly bought me the lap dance, and I begrudgingly went. I was desperate not to show up to my cousin’s wedding alone and drunk enough to come up with a ridiculous plan, so we made a business deal for him to be my fake boyfriend. However, we failed at the fake part, and he turned into my real boyfriend.”    

“Woah… I think I need to be drunk to understand this story.” Drake raised his glass in jest. “Waiter?!.. Brian?! I need a refill!”

—

Charlie kicked off her shoes and flopped on one end of the couch, while Bryce sat on the other. “I don’t know why I always torture myself with heels. Can you give me a foot rub?” She placed her feet in Bryce’s lap.

“Babe, I’m a surgeon, not a podiatrist.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” She flicked him lightly on the chin with her big toe.

“Ah! Fine, as long as you keep your feet out of my face.” Bryce took her right foot in his hands and started rubbing rhythmic circles with his thumbs on her sole.

“Mmmm,” Charlie hummed in relief. “You sure you don’t have a foot fetish?”

“Negative, but getting my hands on you anywhere is a good place to start.” Bryce had that gleam in his eyes that said he had a plan, and Charlie would be powerless to stop it - not that she would want to.

“Start what?” She played coy.

“Well…” He walked his fingers upward. “Your calves are probably a little tight too, so those clearly need to be massaged."

"Clearly." Charlie echoed.

"And then, since I'm already this far…" Bryce began to slide his hand under the skirt of her dress.

"Hold up." She slapped her hand on top of his. "Don't you think you're moving a little too fast? You haven't even done the other foot yet." She smugly placed his hand on her left foot. Of course she wanted him as much as he seemed to want her, but it was even more satisfying when she made him wait.

"Speaking of moving too fast," Bryce said as he kneaded the bottom of her foot, "I'm kind of surprised Drake and Ava got engaged after only knowing each other for six months."

"Oh really? Back at the restaurant it seemed you were all for it."

"Well, I don't know them well enough to really judge," Bryce backpedaled. "They do seem like one of those 'opposites attract' type couples that just works, so maybe it is like Ava said, 'When you know, you know.' I just couldn't imagine being ready to marry someone so soon."

Charlie sat upright, pulling her knees in toward her chest and hugging them tight as all the hurt and uncertainty she felt at the restaurant flooded back.  "Apparently so. We've been together two years and you're not even sure if you want to commit to me after all this time. I guess in my case you still don't know if I'm the one. Maybe that means I'm not."

"Charlie…" Bryce's near perma-smile transformed to a frown. "I never said that. Would I have moved in with you if I had any doubts?"

"I don’t know, Bryce. Maybe you just want to test everything out before you commit because you aren't sure. If you don't know by now, when will you know? Five years? Ten?"

"Babe, he inched closer and placed a hand on her knee, "where is all this coming from? Okay, wrong question since I'm pretty sure where, but not exactly why. I don't think you've ever brought up marriage before."

"I guess seeing Drake and Ava just made me think, what are we waiting for? Yes six months is pretty quick, but lots of people get engaged after a year and we're at double that. We live together, we're both becoming established in our careers, we love each other…Making it official just makes sense."

Bryce looked her in the eyes intently. "I love you, and as far as I can see, my future includes you. I don't need a piece of paper to prove that."

"Does that mean you'll never want to get married?" Charlie was still reeling. 

"I'm not saying that, but you know how things turned out with my parents. I just… I'm afraid of repeating the same mistakes. That may sound like a cop out, but I just need time, and I'll know…we'll know when it's right. Things are going so well right now, why rush to change that?"

Bryce had a point, and Charlie recognized her perception of the situation was colored by her past as much as Bryce’s was by his. The way her ex Andrew left her just as they were planning a future together made her a little more anxious to make things official this time. But would rushing to marry Andrew have really changed anything? He'd probably still have left her for another woman, and then they'd have a messy divorce to contend with. She had to remind herself that Bryce was nothing like Andrew. Even without a formal commitment, her relationship with him was progressing at a perfect pace. 

"You're right." Charlie inched closer to Bryce and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for getting all in my head again. You know how I can spiral sometimes."

"And that's why I'm here to keep reminding you what a wonderful, loveable, and strong woman you are. But in case you need more than words to convince you," Bryce hopped off the couch and then pulled her up with him, "follow me to the bedroom and I’ll show you too."

[db-gochifan]

GoChi Week 2023 - Day 2: Letters/Flowers

Days: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Title: The Secret Admirer Pairing: Goku/Chi-Chi; minor Bulma/Yamcha Characters: Son Goku, Chi-Chi, Bulma Briefs, Yamcha and Ox King Summary: A letter brings up the romantic side of Goku. Do not copy, repost, use it in any form or claim this work to be your own. Cross-posted on AO3

It was a typical winter day on West City. Valentine’s Day was just around the corner, which meant the halls from Orange Star High School were filled with pink and red hearts and other Valentine’s decorations. Goku sighed deeply when he got closer to his locker and saw the amount of boxes around it.

“I don’t get why you’re so annoyed with that.” Yamcha stated with a confused tone, as he tried to get near his own locker. “Most guys would love to be on your shoes right now.”

“I would gladly trade places, without even questioning it.” He opened his locker and a bunch of letters slipped down to the floor. “How the hell did these girls managed to push all these letters through my locker?!”

“You should never underestimate them. They are capable of anything.”

“Tell me about it.” Goku growled when he accidentally kicked one of the many boxes near his feet. He bent down and grabbed one that has a full-page picture of a brunette attached to it.

“So what are you going to do with all these presents?”

“Honestly? I have no idea.” He glanced at Yamcha and couldn’t help but laugh when he noticed he was nearly drooling at the photo. “Could you be less obvious?”

“What?” The long-haired man blinked a few times and shook his head.

“We were close to getting drowned here.” He teased and then handed the box to his friend. “Do you want to keep this one? Maybe you can get lucky.”

“You don’t want it?”

Just as Goku was about to answer, his eyes fell on a brunette girl walking down the hall. She was so distracted talking to Bulma that she wasn’t paying attention to anything or anyone else. His neck could have easily been broken due to how much it followed her around.

“Earth to Goku.” Yamcha waved his hand in front of his friend’s eyes, to get his attention.

“What?” The spiky haired man shook his head slightly. “Do you really want it? I mean…”

He glanced at the direction the two girls had gone and Yamcha followed him suit.

“Yeah, it’s better not to. Last thing I want is to piss Bulma off. It can often get pretty bad.”

“That’s true.”

****

“I can’t believe you’re not gonna give to him.” Bulma stated with astonishment as she and Chi-Chi headed to their class.

“Believe it or not, I’m not.”

“I don’t get it, you wrote it for nothing?”

“Did you see how many things there were in front of his locker? I don’t stand a chance.”

“Are you kidding me?” She shouted. “I guarantee the other girls don’t come anywhere near you.”

“I feel flattered, but I still don’t believe it.”

“Well, you should. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re distracted.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m still not giving it to him.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“It is.” Chi-Chi ended the conversation and the two girls headed to their seats in silence. ****

Bulma waited hidden for Chi-Chi to leave the dressing room after changing into her fighting outfit later that day. She sneaked in very slowly and went through her friend’s stuff to get the letter.

“I’m sorry, Chi-Chi. But you’ll thank me later.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Yamcha asked for what seemed to be the millionth time.

“Yes, I ‘m sure.” She replied firmly and with some annoyance. “If you don’t want to help me, that’s fine. But I can’t just stand here and do nothing to help my friend.”

“What happens when she finds out? She’s gonna be really pissed.”

“I can deal with it when the time comes. For now, let’s just put our plan into action.”

“Fine.”

“I knew you’d be part of this plan!” The bluenette exclaimed with excitement and threw her hands around his neck. “Before we know it, Goku and Chi-Chi will be in each other’s arms.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Honey, I always am.” She said, full of confidence.

****

Chi-Chi was feeling rather uncomfortable with so many guys looking at her during martial arts class. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Much to her surprise, someone else seemed to have noticed her discomfort too.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Huh?” She looked at him with her eyebrows raised. “Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. I just don’t like being the center of the attention like this. For some reason, guys look down on women being fighters. Or they think it’s sexy, which is kinda disgusting in my opinion.”

“Hey, leave me out of this.”

“So you don’t think it’s sexy?”

Goku couldn’t help but think her tone almost sounded a little disappointed. “No, that’s not what I meant. Of course I think it’s… anyway, guys may look down on women who fight, but not me. I actually think it’s great.”

“Do you really?” Her face beamed in happiness after hearing what he said.

He couldn’t help but think she looked cute when she smiled like that. He automatically smiled back at her.

“Yes, I really do. Would you feel better if I told these guys to stop looking at you? Or I can just beat them up if you want.”

“It’s not necessary to beat them up.” She put her hands up between them, almost close to his chest. “Just telling them will be enough.”

“Alright.” He was slightly disappointed with her request, but tried his very best to hide it.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

****

Goku and Yamcha made their way to the changing rooms after taking shower when martial arts classes were over for the day. The latter was feeling a little nervous about the letter his friend was about to find. He still didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“Some nice training today, huh?” The spiky-haired brunette asked while he dried his hair with a white towel.

“It surely was.” The other brunette tried to push his worries away and replied in the coolest tone possible. “Once again you couldn’t stay away from Chi-Chi.”

Goku couldn’t help but grin when he was nudged on the ribs by his friend. “You know me.”

“I sure do.” Yamcha very discreetly looked over his shoulder to see what his fellow martial arts friend was doing. He put on his best fake surprised face. “What’s this?”

“It’s a letter.” Goku flipped it around, looking for any signs that could tell him who it was from, but he couldn’t find anything.

“You don’t know who sent it?”

“No, there’s nothing in the envelope.” He didn’t bother hiding his frustration, though he was also full of hope it would be from Chi-Chi.

“So you got yourself a secret admirer, huh?”

“That seems like it.” With a sigh, he put the letter in his bag, flinging it on his shoulders right after. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yamcha quickly followed him out of the changing rooms. “I’m surprised you didn’t open the letter right away. It almost seemed like you weren’t too thrilled about it.”

“It’s probably from one of these girls who are desperately to have a boyfriend.” Goku shook his head and shrugged, keeping a very cool tone as he spoke. “I will open it when I get home.”

“I see.” He pressed his lips together. “Either way, I’m curious to know what you will think about it.”

“Really?” He spiky-haired boy looked at him with his eyebrows raised. “Why is that?”

“For no reason.” Yamcha began to panic and his eyes widened when he realized he almost gave himself and Bulma away. “I just want to know what’s in the letter.”

“Alright, I guess.”

****

Goku was lying on his bed chilling and staring at the ceiling when he remembered the letter was still in his bag. He jumped out of his bed and ran to it, returning to his previous position as soon as he grabbed the envelope. He carefully tore it open, so he wouldn’t accidentally rip the paper inside. Then he unfolded the paper and began to read its content. He didn’t remember seeing that handwriting anywhere before, but his heart still started beating faster on his chest. He couldn’t tell whether it was his wishful thinking or something else, but he was sure that handwriting belonged to the girl he had been crushing – sometimes not so subtly – for quite a while.

Hi, Goku!

I hope you forgive me for writing this letter, but I couldn’t find any other way to say what I wanted. In person would be an option, but I’m just not brave enough to do it. Anyway, maybe I should go straight to the point. Okay, so… I’ve been observing you these past few days… maybe admiring would be a more suitable word. Honestly, I don’t know what I intended to do with this letter… maybe just let you know I admire you? Well, either way, I hope you don’t feel embarrassed with it and my confused thoughts. I surely do, now that I’m reading it.

I guess I’ll see you around.

Your secret admirer.

Goku had a huge grin on his face by the time he finished reading the small confessional letter. But he didn’t find it embarrassing in the slightest. It was the opposite actually. He found it sweet. He folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. When he was about to put it away in a drawer, the scent of lilies invaded his nostrils and he shivered slightly. If there was any doubt Chi-Chi had written that letter, it was just gone. For the second time in less than fifteen minutes, Goku jumped out of his bed. This time, however, he rushed out of his house.

****

Chi-Chi was about to leave for school that morning. She yelled bye to her father and opened the front door of her house. Her eyes immediately fell on a single flower lying right in front of it. She bent down and picked it up, silently looking to her right and to her left for someone or something that could tell her who had put it there. But there was nothing.

“Chi-Chi?” The Ox King, her father, walked into the kitchen and saw her frozen on her spot. “Is something wrong?”

“Someone left a lily here.” She walked in again, grabbing a glass and filling it with water for the flower.

“A flower?” He asked while she turned around and put the glass in the center of their table. “It was just there?”

“That’s right.” Chi-Chi nodded and looked at the flower for a few more seconds before shaking her head and smiling. “Well, I should go to school or I’ll be late.”

“Alright. Have a good day, darling.”

“You too, dad.”

****

Chi-Chi was taken aback when she stopped in front of her locker and found another lily attached to its lock. She had just grabbed it when Bulma stopped beside her.

“Well, well, looks like someone’s got a secret admirer.”

“I’m sure that was an accident. Someone must have confused someone else’s locker with mine.”

“Do you really think so low of yourself? Why is it so hard for you to accept someone may have a crush on you?”

“That’s not…” She pressed her lips together, deciding not to argue with her friend. She may have a point. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I know I am.” Bulma bragged with a grin. “And looks like this person actually knows some of your tastes. Not everyone has lilies as their favorite flower.”

“It looks like it.” The brunette bit her lower lip as she placed the flower on her locker. She could only hope it wouldn’t die before she went home.

“Don’t you wanna know who sent it?”

“Of course I do, but apparently they don’t share the same thought.”

There was a bitter tone in Chi-Chi’s voice; almost like she was disappointed for some reason, but she couldn’t understand why. Or maybe she just didn’t want to admit it.

“It’s possible, but I think we both know who put it here.”

“And also who had left another one at my door earlier.”

“What?” Bulma asked, visibly surprised.

“I came across another lily when I left for school this morning. Whoever left it must know where I live.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“More like creepy.”

“Why must you ruin everything?”

“Come on, you have to admit it was a little creepy.”

“Well…” The blue haired girl had to agree with her friend. “So what are you going to do now?”

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Chi-Chi looked at her. “Wait and see if this boy will reveal himself eventually, I guess.”

****

“Why are there so many petals near your locker?” Yamcha couldn’t take his eyes off the floor while he and Goku went to grab their things to go home after class.

Goku didn’t say anything, he simply opened his own locker and showed him the bouquet of lilies inside it.

“What the…? Did you receive them from a girl?”

“Nope, I’m actually sending them to one.”

“Chi-Chi…” He said after he fully understood the situation. “What did she say about it?”

“Nothing yet. I didn’t tell her they were from mine, so she doesn’t know. At least I don’t think she does.”

“Chi-Chi is smart, she will figure out. If she hadn’t already.”

“That’s true.”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Now it’s time to put the final part of my plan into action.”

****

Goku felt his heart pounding hard on his chest and began to get nervous with everyone glancing at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. He noticed a group of girls standing not far from her, undoubtedly wanting to know who was the lucky girl that would get the lilies. He prayed Chi-Chi didn’t take too long to walk out of school or that she was still inside. Otherwise he would make a fool out of himself.

The single lily swung smoothly under Chi-Chi’s grasp as she and Bulma left the school building and headed towards the exit. Her heart skipped a beat when she found another one in their path and she knelt down to pick it up.

“Whoever this guy is, he’s really good.” Bulma commented when her friend returned to her previous position.

“Maybe.” She couldn’t help but smell it. “I’m surprised no one took it, to be honest.”

“I guess not everyone likes lilies.”

“Yeah, that may be it.”

For some reason, Chi-Chi felt her heart racing as they got near the gate. She noticed there were more people around than usual that day, clearly waiting to see how things would unfold. As soon as she crossed the gate, she saw Goku from the corner of her eyes, standing on her left.

“Goku.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she watched him get near her. “So it was you all along.”

“That’s right.” He gave her one of his signature smiles and handed her the bouquet. “I heard lily is your favorite flower.”

“It is.” She smiled kindly and was surprised to see he had offered her his arm.

“May I take a beautiful girl home today?”

Chi-Chi felt her cheeks blush slightly, but still linked her free arm with his.

[quietgalcoasterss]

My Top 5 (End of 2023)

Hi yall! Sorry for how long it’s been. Thanksgiving left me exhausted, and then all of a sudden I was coming back to college for finals weeks. I almost finished this a week ago, but then I just forget to add the last section. Anyway, as the end of the year approaches and seasonal parks close their doors, I figure this is an appropriate time to share my current top 5 coasters. So far, I’ve visited 3 major theme parks in the US as of recently: Six Flags Great Adventure, Kings Dominion and Busch Gardens Williamsburg. I’ve also visited Disney World and Universal Orlando, but those were back when I was 11 or so, and so I hardly remember any rides I might’ve gone on. So while this will change over the years, and I’ll eventually have enough credits to where I can start listing my top 10, 15 and even 20, here be my current top 5 :>

For context, I base my rankings off of two factors:

1. How much I want to re-ride it right now.

2. How long I’m laughing after I’ve gotten off. If I’m still chuckling by the time I’m back at the entrance, it’s a winner.

5. Kingda Ka, Six Flags Great Adventure

It won’t shock you to know that Kingda Ka was, at one point, the scariest coaster I’ve ever been on. How long did it hold that title? Like 2 hours until I rode it for a second time, after which I knew for a fact my coaster fear was all but buried. Despite that, I’m pretty certain that no matter how often I ride it in the future, sitting on the launch track will still give me butterflies in my stomach.

But god, that launch is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Hell, for like 2 weeks after my second Great Adventure visit this past summer, I scoured Youtube for a pov/off-ride video that would hit the exact same mark as actually riding Kingda Ka. I never found one that got even close :(. I also never got to ride OG Top Thrill Dragster or any other Intamin hydraulic launch coaster (Storm Runner looks so good…), but god you mean to tell me there’s multiple of these??? Even though I’ve ridden longer rides, as well as ones that I wish I could ride right now even more, that does NOT mean Kingda Ka does not deserve love. All my homies love Kingda Ka.

4. Nitro, Six Flags Great Adventure

Nitro was my first ever B&M (Bolliger and Mabillard) hyper coaster (ride that exceeds 200 feet). And although the only other one I’ve ridden is Apollo’s Chariot, I do NOT understand why thoosies say this thing is mid. Sure the paint scheme is on the uglier side, but that makes it unique. And like, this thing isn’t the ugliest thing in the world. I don’t even know how you could make a coaster ugly.

This thing is floater airtime and speed galore. Next time I’m at Great Adventure, I’m trying out both front and back row to see how it lives up. I always put my hands up on Nitro cuz like, why wouldn’t you? Only part that’s a sharp change is the helix as the trains return to the station. That thing is fast and tight: I grey out every time I go through it. Not saying it’s bad at all, just a wild element lol.

3. Pantheon, Busch Gardens Williamsburg

Pantheon is my first ever ride to feature a vertical spike. And oh my GOD did it have me laughing like a mad lass. This thing is such a treat from start to finish. I have a whole other story to share about this coaster and waiting in queue, but that’s for another time.

What Pantheon does super well is consistency between its elements. From the first launch to missing the top hat to the spike to the hangtime, this thing does NOT quit (until the brake run of course). Some people say this is a mix between Maverick and Velocicoaster, and from the pov’s I’ve watched, I can see where they’re coming from. I’m planning on riding Maverick next summer, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to go to Islands of Adventure. But until then, Pantheon my beloved.

2. Intimidator 305, Kings Dominion

I love you I-305. I love you so damn much. This monstrosity was my first ever giga coaster (ride that exceeds 300 feet), and oh my GOD is it heavenly. I need to make it clear that this thing is not for the faint of heart. It is fast, whippy and unrelenting. But in a loving way :D.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not grey out on the right back after the drop. But lemme tell ya, greying out is awesome. I understand why some people dislike it and tend to avoid re-riding anything that does it to em. But me? I love the feeling. If anything I wanna immediately re-ride it if I feel my vision going. I’m weird and gay like that. Some people also say that this is the anti-Millennium Force: while Millennium does airtime galore, I-305 does speed and lateral’s galore. I’ll be the judge of that when I hopefully go to Cedar Point soonish, but for now, Intimidator 305 sits comfortably in my number 2.

1. El Toro, Six Flags Great Adventure

You knew this was coming. El Toro was my first wooden coaster, my first non-family coaster, my first big Intamin, my first blog here and it’s in my pfp \o/. I’m so glad that Six Flags has been genuinely caring for this monstrosity after all these years. Even with the recent incidents, they haven’t given up on it. And I’m so grateful for that, I can’t imagine Great Adventure without this.

There’s still many woodie’s that I need to ride. The Beast at Kings Island and The Voyage at Holiday World are both really high on my list. But as of right now I ain’t going out to Indiana just to ride a big woodie (and also Firebird, that looks sick). To be brutally honest, the only other woodie I’ve actually ridden as of today is The Grizzly at Kings Dominion. And it’s a solid woodie, don’t get me wrong. But it just ain’t the Bull.

Some people dislike El Toro for how rough it’s apparently become over the years. And while that’s understandable, I love a woodie that’s rough. It gives a bite to it, like it’s out of control. That’s what woodies specialize in over steel’s: they’re out of control. From this thing’s ejector airtime, to the speed, to the tight banks to the Rolling Thunder Hill, El Toro will never leave my heart. It’s no wonder I spent 30 bucks on a t-shirt and keychain on my most recent visit. I’m a capitalist slave to the Bull.

[guitarlove6437]

Why are adhd meds so hard to get right now?

Hi I’m a pharmacy tech. I fill prescriptions, release them to patients, answer the phone, and write instructions for prescriptions. Right now in the US just about everywhere is an adhd medication shortage. I can’t exactly give a “why is this still going on?” answer because I wish I knew. I can answer why it’s so hard to get. Oh and I have adhd too. But I don’t take any medication for it cause epileptic too.

Issue #1 - Manufacture Backorder

For one reason or another, the company (in this case multiple companies at this point) cannot make enough medication and/or distribute enough. What this means on the pharmacy end is if the individual store is lucky the store can get a stock bottle or two per order. Depending on what the pharmacy’s suppliers are, they might only be able to get those orders done up to three times a week. I say this cause one supplier for my store is only delivered M/W/F.

Issue #2 - Small Stock Bottles

These are typically (especially since we’re talking about controlled medications here) bottles patients don’t see. These are the bottles filled with medication X we then dispense for prescription Y. Sometimes medications are kept in stock bottles, like liquid antibiotics or birth control pills. But with rare exceptions, all controlled medicines are dispensed into amber vials.

What do I mean by small stock bottles then? The amount of actual pills per bottle. I would say a good majority of medications come in standard bottle sizes (60, 90, 100, 500, 1,000). I’ve seen some other high control bottles on the higher end of bottle size. Not adhd meds. The largest bottle size I’ve seen is 100.

Let’s say our hypothetical store has scored two bottles of methylphenidate 20 mg of 100 pills each. Before this, there were 10 pills leftover from previous prescriptions. So there’s a total of 220 pills.

If there only six prescriptions done of 30 pills each, the inventory is down to just 10 pills again. That’s nothing for pharmacy standards. There’s a automated robot standard in the chain I work in for common drugs (controlled and non controlled) and I easily see 100+ of prescriptions checked from that alone.

Issue #3 - Can’t Directly Transfer

I’m sorry and this sucks. I wish I could just call a different pharmacy and ask if they can take an adhd medicine prescription. It’s the law. If it’s a high control, we cannot do quite a few things. One is we can’t transfer from Store A to Store B. Yes, even if it’s the same chain.

Issue # 4 - Long Waitlist

In every pharmacy there is a queue called Fill on Arrival. These are prescriptions we can’t fill until we get enough of a supply to fill. This especially comes into play with manufacturer back orders. The reason why pharmacies are saying they don’t have enough even when they do? Because they have a long list of patients who have been waiting for their prescription to be filled. I have even been advised to tell people we don’t have medication that’s on back order because we have such a long waitlist. And my store isn’t even particularly busy in my area!

I want to be absolutely clear before I end here: every single one of you reading this frustrated you can’t get your regular adhd med, yeah I agree it does suck ass! I wish I could fill your prescription! I promise you, look at the tales from the pharmacy subreddit, you’ll see other worker’s frustration about all of this. The shortage has gone on way too fucking long. But it is not individual pharmacies’ fault. It’s the pharmaceutical companies, the suppliers, and the government since these are controlled medication.

Thanks for reading!

[bulgariansumo]

Back at it again, editing Episode 1 of Galactiquest. Version 3.0 patch notes:

-Removed all unnecessary epithets (Hopefully. I found one instance of brunet that I thought I deleted the last time around)

-Toned down the amount of exclamation points

-I think I slightly pared down a scene in Chapter 4? But I added a new one over it, so that probably cancels out

-Gave other characters a little more dialogue, especially Leon

-Changed descriptions around to be more concise, less repetitive, and less verbose (For these being Leon's chapters, I got weirdly fancy with some of the prose)

-New scene 1: In Chapter 1, a girl talks to Leon while he's waiting in the spaceport, eventually leading to him realizing he's late. This finally gave me a chance to explain why the Interstellar Forces is called that and set up that it is struggling somewhat. I think this also the first time I've gotten to mention that the IF was banned from having weapons.

-New scene 2: In Chapter 4, Jun questions why the IF would let such an inexperienced group go to Neptune (in nicer wording, but still). It sets the tone for the trip in a way that was lacking before.

As much as it stung to realize those chapters were a little rougher than I thought, I'm glad I did this. It's not a complete overhaul, but it brought the quality a little closer to my current stuff. I'm grateful some people were still able enjoy them despite rough edges.

In the times that I've asked for feedback, a few people mentioned Chapters 3 and 4 being a bit of a slog. I... did not trim them down as much as I intended. Every time I tried, it went something like this:

Hopefully, adding that section to Chapter 4 will help it feel a little more worthwhile. That being said, if I'm compelled to edit again, I know there's a few scenes in Chapter 4 that probably should go.

For people who want to see the new scenes without reading the whole episode again, I'll post them down below. If you do want to read the full thing, here's a link.

---

New Scene 1 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 1. Boarding for Takeoff

A monitor nearby played an informational video about Earth’s one and only moon colony: Lunaria, the city of his dreams. Though so far away, he felt like it lay within his grasp for the first time. What choice did he have but to be captivated by it?

“Are you heading to your first deployment?” The girl a few seats over might as well have appeared from thin air.

“Hm? How’d you know?” He shook his head out of a daze. Only now did he realize his mouth had been hanging open for who knew how long.

“You seemed pretty enthralled by that video for a star ranger.”

“Oh yeah. Some nights, I spent so long looking at the dome through my telescope, I’d dream about it.” He sighed. “Even now, I can almost breathe that artificial air.”

“I’ve heard it’s cool. My aunt’s paying my way. I bet you’re glad you don’t have to pay those ticket prices either, huh?” She had a pretty laugh.

“Gosh, I thought I’d have to spend my life savings just for a visit. Thank goodness for the IF.”

“You know,” she tilted her head, “I’ve always wondered, why’s it called the Interstellar Forces when we haven’t gone past Mars yet?”

“We’re supposed to dream big now and grow into it later. It worked for me, so…!” he ended with a shrug. “And who knows,” he knew, “we might be going past Mars soon.”

“That’s cute. Sorry about the budget cuts, though. No more weapons, I get, but you guys don’t even have your own ships anymore? They’re just deploying you with us civilians?”

“My ship’s kind of a special case.” Out of curiosity he decided to check his phone. “But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to che–”

His eyes widened in horror at what time it displayed. It was 25 minutes past when he should have boarded.

“Is something wrong?” asked the girl.

“Sorry, I gotta go.” He gathered his bags and hurried over to the receptionist. “Excuse me. This is the boarding area for the Celestion ships, right?” Maybe everyone else was just late. “I was supposed to be boarding a ship 25 minutes ago.”

“Oh, no sir. Are you with the Interstellar Forces? All military spacecraft are located on the opposite end.” The receptionist motioned directly behind him.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” He shook the receptionist’s hand vigorously. “Seriously, my career is in your hands. And yours too,” he sped past the girl, “have a nice trip, bye!”

New Scene 2 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 4. Tour's End

“Quick question.” The oddly familiar one smoothed dark, wavy bangs out of her face… or his face? Leon couldn’t tell at this angle. The androgynous voice didn’t help. “The Celestion crews were chosen by chance, yeah?”

“There’s a coupla exceptions as you’re no doubt aware,” Emil winked, “not to mention the captains, but yeah, most of us are random picks.”

“Right, cool. So, like, not to harsh the vibes, but I noticed that none of us except you and the captain are ranked higher than rangers.”

“I almost ascended to corporal~” Allen spoke up.

“I know, Rox.” The familiar one addressed Emil again. “I dunno, I kinda assumed we’d get stationed on each ship based on our experience and ability level.”

That did surprise Leon when he first heard about the opportunity. Described by his old warrant officer as ‘remarkably average in all abilities,’ he never dreamed he’d be offered the chance to go to Neptune. No one from his base deployed to space in years. He hadn’t even earned the star on his uniform yet. No way would he let such good luck pass him by.

“Huh,” Emil pinched one of his curls, “that does make sense.”

A click from the ceiling brought with it Captain Galhardo’s voice. “Randomized crews are a key element of the Celestion Project. Though each captain, including myself, went through a series of tests to ensure our capability.”

“Well, there you have it. Besides, as long as my brother’s piloting, we’ll make it back a-ok. Nothin’ to worry about.” In only a few strides, Emil made his way to the cooking area. “Over here we have a microwave, an oven, dishes, other kitchen-y stuff–Oooh, guys, I gotta show you something!”

He stuck his arm over the stove, to the confusion of Leon and most of the others, and to their horror, turned it on.

[yourmidnightlover]

Dreams of Iris - Chapter 4

chapter 4 - reality check

series masterlist

spencer reid x fem!reader

series overview: when introduced by penelope, reader and spencer take on a sexual bdsm relationship. secrets are discovered as time goes by. what happens when they both try to discover who the other is within themselves?

series warnings: bdsm themes, smut (rough sex, penetrative sex, spitting, choking, cum play, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), bondage, overstimulation, edging, grinding, thigh riding, handjob, aftercare), talk about/illuding to previous abusive relationship, angst, crying. this series is 18+

chapter summary: spencer spends the day helping you out at the shop and learns a bit more about you and your past.

chapter warnings: face fucking, oral (m), teasing (spencer), heavy petting, kissing. *please let me know if i missed something*

A/N: hiiiii :) i’ve been a bit mia. mental health is tough and boyfriends (now ex) suck. i’m not sure how active i’ll be but this has been in my drafts for a while and i’ve been trying to finish it. inspiration is few and far between nowadays but we’ll prevail. anyway, i’m sorry for being gone for so long. i love you all and all of the support you’ve given me. with love, jay <3

as the sun streamed in through his curtains, you gently stirred awake from the melodious ringing of your alarm. you reached out to the bedside table your phone rested on and turned the alarm off before turning to face spencer.

he looked so peaceful while he slept. there weren’t any worry lines or furrowed brows. he was just there. calm. you could only hope he felt like this more often, perhaps, if you were lucky enough, he would feel like that if he were with you more often.

his arm was wrapped around your waist as you stroked the hair out of his face. your thumb traced his cheekbones down to his lips before you connected yours with his. you felt him smile into the kiss as he deepened it before he pulled back.

“good morning to you too, angel,” he whispered in his morning voice, the low grogginess exciting you more than you’d care to admit.

“hi,” you smiled as you traced your hands to his shoulders, gently applying pressure that made his eyes shut once more.

“th’feels good,” he sighed as he melted into your hands’ pressure.

“i have to get up,” while keeping the pressure from your hands, you continued to massage his achy muscles.

he placed his hands atop yours, “no…” he groaned. “just stay for a little longer?”

“i have a bookstore to run,” you chuckled as he took your hands in his and reopened his eyes as he pressed them to his lips.

“what if…” he trailed off with a sinister grin. “what if i came with you? i’ll be like your assistant.”

“spencer, you’re supposed to be on sabbatical, not working for someone else and taking on their stress,” you tried to reason as you wiggled out of his arms, throwing on the clothes he managed to put in the wash before you passed out last night.

“i wouldn’t really be working so much as keeping you at arms length?” he demonstrated as he grasped your arm and brought you down onto his lap. “i just want to be around you all the time,” he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“alright,” you sighed as you leaned your head against his chest. “but i’m not paying you.”

“i wouldn’t have it any other way,” he pressed a kiss to the bare skin on your neck, trailing behind your ear.

“i-i have to be there at 8:30 so i can open at 9:00,” you breathed out to give him a timeframe.

“that gives us over an hour to… play?,” he nibbled on tour earlobe, causing a shudder to radiate through your body.

“mmm,” you nodded. “i like the sound of that,” you turned on his lap so you were straddling him. “what’d you plan on doing?”

“i could…” he trailed his hands down your arms until he grasped your wrists, “tie these behind your back while i use that pretty little mouth of yours,” he smiled as he leant in to kiss you.

you were practically purring into his mouth as his tongue met with yours. you got off his lap temporarily as he got into his closet to open his chest of toys. out of said chest came a purple nylon cloth. he toyed it between his fingers as he made his way back to where you were sitting.

“turn around, angel,” he smirked as you immediately flipped for him, presenting your hands already bound together in wait. “already being such a good girl for me? i hope this behavior continues.”

you waited patiently as he tied your hands behind your back before he pulled you onto the ground. you fell to your knees and bit your lip as you looked up at the man who stood before you with wide eyes.

“so precious, my sweet angel,” his hand cupped your face before he began undoing his belt in front of you.

rubbing your thighs together in anticipation, spencer chuckled from above you at your eagerness to only please him. once he finally released himself from his trousers, you maintained eye contact with him as he stroked himself a few times. when he looked back down at you, seeing that your eyes hadn’t left his, he let his free hand stroke your cheek once more.

“ready?” you nodded eagerly. “words. i need verbal confirmation that you want this. prove to me that you want this. i need to be convinced.”

“oh, please, sir,” you adjusted yourself on your knees so your heel would grind down perfectly on your clit. “please fuck my face? i want it so, so bad. please, just-just let me please you.”

“such an eager little pup, aren’t we, y/n?” he trailed his hand to the back of your head before he yanked your hair back, forcing you to face the ceiling. 

“only for you, sir,” you breathed out before repeating, “pl-please, sir?”

and with that, he shoved his cock in front of your face. a bright smile filled your face, one of satisfaction and excitement. spencer knew he would give you anything you asked for - whether you knew it or not. perhaps if he gave you everything he possibly could it would make up for who he truly was as a person. those places in which he lacked like social ques and confidence. maybe his generosity and need to give you everything you could ever want would overshadow the shadows of his past he tries to hide from everyone, including you.

you opened your mouth expectantly, wanting him to make the first move. you were rather disappointed when he only placed his erect dick on your tongue, but you adapted nonetheless. you closed your mouth around his member and lightly sucked while your tongue traced the bottom of his dick. as you began to bounce your head back and forth on his dick, his hand in your hair gripped a bit tighter. 

“fuck,” he lightly huffed out as he threw his head back for a moment before remembering that he didn’t want to miss a second of watching you in such a state. “you’re doing so good, making me feel so good.”

he began to lightly fuck your face, still giving you a little bit of control before he took over completely. you let your jaw go slack, giving him all reins to do whatever he pleased. his hips began to thrust into your mouth rapidly, his other hand finding the opposite side of your head to help guide himself in and out. your jaw was starting to become a bit sore, but you refused to do anything about it. he just looked too godly to disrupt his pleasure. there was a light sheen of sweat over his chest and lining his hair as he kept his eyes trained on the way his cock was going in and out of your mouth. 

“such a little cock slut, huh?” you moaned around his cock. “that’s it,” he chuckled. “you take it so well, angel.” 

at this point, there was saliva dripping down your cheeks onto your neck and chest as well as tears building behind your waterline, threatening to spill out and decorate your cheekbones. with every thrust, you felt him hit the back of your throat. the only sounds in the room were moans and the sound of you gagging on his dick. it sounded glorious.

“i’m close,” he spoke up before his hips increased speed. “where-fuck-where do you want it?” he asked, ever the gentleman.

your only response was forcing yourself even further down on his cock.

“message received, my angel,” he chuckled before making eye contact with you once more time as he hit the back of your throat one more time, the tears building behind the wall finally falling over. “fuck!” he groaned, refusing to break eye contact with you as he thrusted into your mouth a few more times.

you immediately swallowed his release, opening your mouth after he removed his dick to prove that you did so. 

“ahh,” you presented your throat with a faint smirk decorating your lips. 

“fuck,” he gently grasped your face and connected your lips to his passionately. “you’re amazing,” he whispered before kissing you once again as he untied your hands.

“thank you,” you smiled against his lips as he massaged your wrists, looking down at them to make sure there wasn’t any bruising.

“let me make you some coffee? that might help with your throat,” he grimaced lightly upon imagining the soreness of it. 

“oh, i can make it if you want?” you offered, not wanting him to feel as though he had to take care of you. 

“that’s alright, angel,” he furrowed his brows for a short second, not wanting you to see him so confused. “i just abused your throat, let me take care of you?”

“mmmkay,” you nodded with a small smile before you sat on the bed as he went to make the coffee.

looking to the in table, you noticed that the clock read 6:45. you still had quite a while before you had to be at the shop, so you browsed the books decorating the surface of the mahogany wood. after finding a book suffice to your curiosity, you ran your hand along the spine, admiring the wear and tear of the old copy of pride and prejudice.

spencer had never struck you as one who would read such romance novels, he seemed to be one who enjoyed historical or science fiction more than this genre. often times, you’ve found that guys who visit your bookstore tend to make fun of such novels. they would always make remarks of how “unrealistic” and “far-fetched” the idea of a perfect man is, as if that’s what each of the novels were meant to portray.

each novel isn’t about a woman finding the perfect man and living happily ever after. it’s about finding a man who has flaws and recognizes them. it’s about him recognizing her flaws and loving her, not in spite of them, but because she has them. they would face trails and tribulations but instead of letting the pressure get to them and crush their relationship, they work through them and make themselves stronger.

so, no, it’s not about finding the perfect man and living the perfect life for the rest of eternity. it’s about the complete opposite. finding somebody who’s willing to work through disagreements is much harder than finding the perfect man, because people can change who they appear to be. it’s their spirit that can’t be fabricated as easily.

“reading now, are we?” he greeted as he leaned against the door, two mugs of steaming coffee in his hands.

“merely admiring your choice in literature,” you grinned as you closed the cover of the book, placing it in its rightful spot.

“pride and prejudice?” he asked as he made his way to your spot on the bed, handing you your cup. “it’s a classic. how could i not enjoy jane austen’s writings? sense and sensibility is one i’ve loved since my mother began reading to me when i was young.”

“how old were you?” he sat beside you on the bed, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder.

“almost 7?” he questioned himself as he began to stroke your hair.

“you were seven when your mother read you sense and sensibility?” you chuckled before looking up at him.

“my mother wanted me to get a sense of good writings when i was young. she taught 15th century literature,” he informed you.

“i suppose she wasn’t too far off in the timing,” you added before grasping his chin in your index and thumb, forcing him to look down at you once more.

“i really want to kiss you again,” he whispered, as if you wouldn’t want him to kiss you.

“please do,” you mumbled as you closed the distance between your lips.

they danced together as they have many times before, finding that synchronization that made it feel as though you were made for each other. his hands grasping your waist moved you on top of his hips gracefully, something you’ve never been too good about. you sighed into his mouth when he gently sucked on your bottom lip, your hips rutted forward as a reflex to get some friction.

“we have to get ready, pretty girl,” he smiled when you followed after his lips, followed by a small pout. “hey,” he tutted. “if you’re good i’ll make sure you get a real treat tonight, yea?”

“mhmm,” you grinned as you wrapped your arms around his neck, effectively pressing your mouth against his one more time. “that sounds nice.”

“alright, so let’s get ready,” he announced as he slowly got up from the bed, tapping your thighs before he went into the bathroom.

-

once you had opened the shop, spencer had become quite the apprentice. he followed you around as he picked up on how you processed the books, did the company logs, assisted customers who needed recommendations, and just running your bookstore.

you were great.

with adults, books, children, organizing, everything. it’s like you were somehow perfect at everything you did. spencer knew it wasn’t true, it’s impossible to be perfect. but if anything came close to being impossible it was you.

the way you held yourself around snappy customers who didn’t have time to look around or demanded to speak to someone knew was astounding. had anyone else been in your shoes, they wouldn’t have been able to cope with everything.

as you carefully fixed an old, well-loved book with a gentle glue, he admired how precise you were with it. you carefully took your bone folder and spread the sticky substance on the spine as evenly as could be imagined. you carefully placed a large rubber band over the book to keep it pressed tightly together and set it aside to move on to the next book.

it was precision and focus and spencer couldn’t help but admire you as he sat from afar, “reading” his own book.

“when did you learn how to fix a book’s binding?” spencer spoke up as he walked over to the counter you were stationed at.

“uhm,” you sighed as you tried to think back to when you learned the skill. “when i was really young i would read the same books over and over again and eventually the spines would wear down, so i learned how to fix them myself. i think i was around 12?”

“most people would just throw the books away,” spencer added.

“i don’t think you should ever throw books away,” you shook your head. “they’re like little worlds all in themselves. if you throw one away you’re throwing away the creativity and lives of each character. besides, my family didn’t have enough money to be throwing books away just because they were read so often,” you shrugged as you placed your elbows on the counter, your head resting in your hands. “if anything, that’s more of a reason to keep them around.”

“my mother has a similar outlook on books, the same one, i believe,” spencer smiled as he picked up one of the now fixed books. “it’s amazing. i love how patient you are with them. it takes such skill and precision.”

“it’s just how i do things i suppose,” you ran your hand through your hair. “i’m just used to it now. sometimes i get so far into the zone that i don’t even realize when it’s closing time.”

“you’re such a gentle soul,” he chuckled a bit as he said it. “incredibly humble as well. you’re amazing.”

you blushed as he paid you such a heartfelt compliment. it had been a while since anyone had paid such close attention to you, let alone complimented you so tenderly. you knew better than to get used to it, though. before you knew it not only would the compliments be gone but so would spencer.

“oh, uh, thank you?” you laughed a bit in return to hide the awkwardness in your voice.

you knew spencer was a profiler. of course he would pick up on the hesitation in your voice. whose to say he would even care so much to analyze anything though? you were just friends who were occasionally intimate with one another. you meant nothing to him, not really. you’ve been burned before in the past and now you knew better than to imagine someone cares more about you than they do.

this time you weren’t young and naive. this time you didn’t expect him to give you the world. this time all that you did expect was a friend and an occasional fuck. no biggie.

“it was a compliment,” he smiled, just figuring it was your inability to accept a compliment resurfacing.

eventually he would make sure you were content with receiving compliments. he would ensure that you were comfortable in your skin. you deserved to like who you are and realize that other people see the amazing person you are. it would simply just take time. but he was willing to help any second he got.

the little smile that you tried to fight off your face lightened his heart. he knew you were a bit insecure. you doubted yourself and what you meant to others, possibly because of someone from your past. mother, sibling, father, perhaps? that would take a bit more sleuthing. for you, he was willing to do most anything.

the rest of the day at the bookstore flew by with conversation that simply flowed. everything was natural with the two of you, something that neither of you expected but welcomed with warm smiled that were exchanged between the two of you.

when closing time came spencer had decided to grab the two of you some coffee. spencer greeted you with the warm liquid as you were locking the door. you accepted it with the brightest grin.

“ugh it’s amazing,” you groaned. “i like the coffee i can make in my little office but… i mean nothing compares to this,” you held the coffee tenderly with both hands as if it were the most important drink you had ever had the honor of consuming, spencer thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

“i would get you a million of those coffees if it always makes you so happy,” he chuckled a bit of you squinted your eyes at him, a bit embarrassed.

“sorry,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “coffee is just my second love language.”

“coffee is a language in itself.”

“jackie chan,” the two of you said in unison, breaking into a fit of laughter.

“y’know i really enjoy our little sleepovers,” spencer broke the giggles. “i like waking up next to you. it just makes sleeping… easier, i guess? i actually feel rested when i sleep next to you. and i haven’t felt like that in a while.”

“oh uhhh… really?” you asked as you began walking towards the car.

“i guess there’s a dual meaning to your nickname, angel,” he nudged your shoulder gently. “but, yea, really. it’s like you’re my personal dream catcher. i don’t think i’ve ever been as well-rested as when i’m with you.”

“we’ll, i’m glad to be if service,” you tried once again to not get your hopes up, rather deflecting the warm hearted statement.

“y/n,” he sighed as he stepped into the passenger seat. “why do you do that?”

“do what?” you acted as if you didn’t know what he was talking about, which was stupid to do in the first place.

“please,” he pleaded as you began driving, almost the perfect excuse to not look him in the eye. “y/n …”

“look, we can just talk about whatever that is later when i’m not driving,” you began. “driving takes a lot of focus and i don’t know if i can have a serious conversation while driving unless you want us to crash,” rambling was a strong suit of yours.

he accepted defeat and rode in silence for the rest of the drive back to your place.

-

a few weeks had gone by and the two of you hung out often. he would help repair old books while you organized them. he would also run coffee errands anytime you needed it, or anytime he just wanted to see you take a break and smile. often you would have sleepovers where things would escalate quite a bit, but you haven’t had sex yet. not penetrative, well, not with each other specifically. only with the toys.

it was another one of your usual hangout sessions after a long day at work. you had just finished takeout and a bowl of ice cream when you had decided you wanted to just relax on the couch.

the entire relaxed evening was spencer’s idea. he knew your moms birthday was coming up, and he knew how hard that was for you. you and your mom weren’t very close anymore after your last relationship. you hadn’t explained much to him about it all, and he accepted that. he simply wanted to make you smile a bit more.

so, he picked up takeout and your favorite dessert on his way to your place. little did you know he had also gotten you a fuzzy little blanket and a trinket that he was holding in his pants pocket.

as soon as spencer sat back, you tentatively sat on his lap, your thighs straddling is legs. you gently kissed his right cheek, then left, trailing down to his neck as your fingers began to work on his shirt.

“what’s this for?” he sighed, simply enjoying your touch in the moment.

“hmmm,” you hummed against his skin. “for being you,” you nipped at his collarbone as he shrugged off his shirt.

“i’m not one to complain,” he breathed out once more as you both moved to lay down on the couch.

you moved back up to kissing his cheek when he gently grasped your face, moving his lips to meet yours. they tenderly moved in sync with one another, both wanting more of each other. but this time, there was no rush. you were simply taking in each others presence and relishing in it. you had all the time in the world and you planned to use it to your advantage.

his hands reached for the hem of your shirt, gently moving it up your body and off of your shoulders, happily shrugging it off. his hands explored your torso, not to get himself off but in order to memorize every inch of you. every inch he wanted to lavish, and prove how amazing you truly are.

you moved your hands between the two of you and began working at his belt as he undid the button on your jeans. you had just removed the belt when you felt a box in his jeans. you didn’t want to pry so you simply moved on, but he gently guided your hand inside of his jeans and pulled out the box.

“open it,” he urged you with a sinister grin.

“… what is it? should i be worried?” you bit your lower lip.

“no, no,” he smiled. “it’s something i’ve been meaning to give you, i just didn’t have the right time. but now is as good a time as any.”

you squinted your eyes at him before opening the box, revealing a necklace with a pendant. on said pendant was the phrase “my angel” in spencer’s signature chicken scratch.

your eyes welled with tears as you began holding the box with two hands. he reached up to grasp your cheeks as the tears began to overflow.

“hey, don’t cry,” he pleaded. “this was a happy gift, not a sad one.”

“they’re happy tears,” you looked at him, biting your lip in attempt to keep it from quivering. “i don’t even know what to say right now.”

“you don’t have to say anything, my angel,” he reminded you as you pressed your lips against his.

“i can start with a thank you, i think,” you chuckled, briefly breaking the kiss.

you didn’t go any further with each other that night. it felt perfect just the way things were in the moment, playfully making out with one another and occasionally engaging in a tickle fight that soencer would back out of - you become violent when tickled.

you ended up falling asleep on the couch, a blanket drawn over your half naked bodies, touch on one another, breathing even, dreams peaceful.

Dreams of Iris taglist:

@spencersjello

@luxurxously-pale

@haylaansmi

@abby187

@noactuallyimaburden

@beepbooptoop

permanent taglist:

@samuel-de-champagne-problems

@pastelbabygirl19

@meganskane

@lil-stark

if you’d like to join a taglist then please fill out the form attached to this link.

[id0ntl1kem3]

Btw sorry I’ve been gone 4 so long I’m like actually busy 4 once in my life so.. yeah might not post 4 a while but ‘m not dead yet so yk

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.9

8

War… Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – AU fanconcept sketches [X]

EDIT 26/10/2023: Updated the drawing with a rescanned, more clean version

Ayooo- now you guys can see why I’m no longer pursuing this poor little thing anymore

…ow

THOUGH I did get inspired in some mods during the creation of these two (three if we do count the sad mop on the top*), mostly since I didn’t give that much of a damn about it at first sight, but now that I’ve gotten the emotional attach to it…yeah I sort of have regrets about it

Yee-haw I guess

…Imma just get into the info already lololol:

1.- Broddy

Big brother but cheap lol

…Nah jk I love this fellow

This guy was actually inspired in the whitty-boyfriend edited sprite (yeah the funny long boi) who casually seemed to appear in a picture alongside BF’s Mom and Dad, hence why he lookin so thin

BTW funny street sign logo design on his shirt, I’m so clever eeheheh- jk

Also the faded eyes were meant to give him a mysterious aura at the start, but now they’re basically something he inherited from his dad (you’ll see later how I designed him so you can tell)

Also also, you guys are allowed to make fun of me over the fact his hoodie’s design doesn’t make any sense. Like- the thing’s open like a jacket yet it has the strings to pull in and out the hoodie from behind, what?????? (this also happened with my FNFCE Leopold sprite, so double funny haha on my ass)

2.-Sissy

Big…no wait- she’s actually the middle woman in the siblinghood

…okay

Fun fact BTW: she was originally though off as a male, and casually enough, the memory I recall of her (or should I say him* for this case specifically) kinda resembles a little to Big Brother

…No I’m not kidding, the hairline I remember for her literally looks a lot like his, guess it was just coincidence

And yes, that tire mark on her arm is a tattoo…above a scar she actually got over an accident that happened at the repair shop

No it wasn’t BF’s fault...or Broddy’s even

Actually, I don’t even remember what happened, but it involved a badly braked bike and something that got in her way while she walkin’ on the shoop

3.-Past!BF / Lil B

aAAAA smol bean child bby

He so cute

…but he’s secretly a little shit

Don’t tell Sissy that tho, that might frickle her pickle

4.- Past!GF / Missy G

Another smol bean

This time it has sulphur in it wowowowow

I gave her a more awoken look bc ye, I don’t really have an actual reason for it besides haha funky demon child go wowza

5.-Bike Mechanic BF (Teenhood)

Boyfrendo got a jobbo

He a breadwinner y’all

He’s been in the business since he was a smol child, he got the good experience

…no we don’t do child exploitation innuendos here, you’ll see what was up there tho dw

6.- Biker GF (Teenhood…?)

Damn sis, lookin good right there

And yes she used to own a bikey back in her young days, don’t ask me how licenses work in BF’sH’s NG city, cuz I have no clue

…but hey, if kids can hav gun with no permissions, then who sayin they can’t drive bikeys w/ no loisense? (jk they might do have license systems but I guess the age limit is whatever, it’s been so long I can’t remember a-)

7.- Q-Zin (Beta Design / Prototype)

Sad mop

I just found out not too long ago about Older Brother, and Q-Zin does have some similarities with him personality-wise, but I haven’t seen the mod so I’m not sure, sorry

BTW he’s dead

…well, not dead  in actual terms, just…physically dead (and sort of emotionally, he’s gone through quite some stuff down there at the Graveyard)

8.- Lil B icon style

Bikey Child

9.- Missy G icon style

Cashey Child

10.- Daydreaming BikeMech!BF

When you reconcile with your (yet) platonic babe and she sneakie you her phone number in your pay so you can ring her up anytime

…yeah that

Classy GF, really classy

And yes they did know each other way longer before than canonically stated (FNF says they just met during tutorial, BF’sH says they know each other since childhood instead)

And the reason I said platonic was due to 1) they reunited after a long time of not seeing each other, ergo the relationship (frens) had just reemerged and 2) Pico and BF are pursuing a relationship here (secretly), though it’s between platonic and amorous (basically what you’d call a ‘meta-couple’)

So yeah

11.- GF’s note

I’m sure he will do hun, I’m sure he will do

12.- Hambarga

S’up bro, brought you lunch

It’s about that one time GF bought some food for BF during lunch hours

Though I don’t wanna stick with the original factor that it was because he barely does enough money to buy something good to eat (for real, it just sounds cruel), so I guess he just is so stuck into his work he sometimes lets lunchtime slide past him (I know it’s not better but at least it doesn’t sound like he’s forced to starve, like c’mon man)

10

[bandsfvck]

Justin,

Holy shit i’ve been so sad this week. it’s like no matter what i do, it doesn’t seem to go away. eduardo never asked to hang out this week so things were already slightly off. i saw tayva yesterday and got some of lance’s ashes. sometimes it doesn’t feel real. Sometimes i feel like a constant outsider from everyone’s life, even my own. i cleaned my kitchen and living room really well today, gunna tackle my room and bathroom tomorrow. I can’t even focus enough to read right now. i just want to talk about being sad, but i don’t have anyone to go to. You were always my person to talk to. i think that i grieve the loss of you like an actual death. i’ve never had to go through a break up like this, it’s definitely the worst breakup i’ve gone through. i miss just being around you so much. i miss talking to you, so so much. i really wish i could just text you, but the fear of embarrassment or arguing overwhelms me. i don’t even think you’d ever want to hear from me again. I wonder if you ever think of me the way i think of you. if you ever write to me or talk about me. i fear that i’m now just a distant memory. i don’t think you check any of my social media because you always claimed to never be on it, although you rarely posted. But on my social media it does appear that i have my life together and i’m doing just grand now. but this is the only place i feel like i can truly be myself. Talk about things that actually bother me. I mean this is basically like my diary, who even has tumblr anymore? I’ve been listening to a lot of rex orange county and phoebe bridgers. we used to listen to rex together, especially Best Friend. You were my best friend. i hate that i have to use past tense. Anyways, Rex and his girlfriend of 6 years broke up a year or two ago, so now i feel like i can be closer to his music. I imagine he feels the way i do when i listen to his songs. Mourning the loss of someone that’s still alive. We weren’t together as long as they were, but we were half way there. Earlier this month could’ve been our 4 year anniversary. four years is such a long time for a relationship that started in high school. I wish we could’ve been better for each other. i wish i could’ve been who you needed me to be, i wish the last year together i wasn’t so angry. i’m definitely not that person anymore. But i wish you could know that i’m sorry. I’m sorry Justin. I love you, goodnight.

-M

[kepamount]

Birthday Boy

boyfriend!mase - smut, fluff

Word Count: 3.1k+

Warnings: 18+, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, praise, strong language, that’s about it, pls let me know if I missed something!

a/n: happy birthday Mason! I was literally up until 4 last night writing this (and watching Euphoria which was so good omg!) so I really hope you enjoy this little self-indulgent birthday fic! lmk what you think and I hope you all enjoy!! x

simi’s navigation

‘Happy birthday!’ I exclaim as soon as the living room door opens, arms in the air with excitement, but they drop back to my sides when Callum walks in. ‘Not my birthday ‘til November,’ he jokes, my face falling when I realise he’s helping Mason walk in. ‘Oh, my God, what happened?’ I demand, rushing towards the door. ‘I’m fine, babe, I just went over on my ankle in training,’ he says as Callum helps him onto the sofa. ‘Clearly you’re not fine if Callum’s having to help you into the room like you’re an old man,’ I say drily, worry unfurling in my chest.

‘Honestly, I’m alright. Physio said I’ll be fine tomorrow if I just rest it,’ he says as he puts his legs up on the sofa, lying down. ‘Are you sure?’ I ask, chewing my lip worriedly, and he nods with a smile, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to my skin. ‘Yes, babe, I’m sure.’ ‘Does it hurt? Have you taken painkillers? We’ve got some ibuprofen gel, or ice if you want tha-’ ‘y/n! I’m fine,’ he says, he and Callum laughing. ‘I could do with some water though,’ he says with a grin, and I practically run to the kitchen, glad to have something I can do to help him.

Callum joins me a moment later, standing in the doorway as I get a glass out from the cupboard. ‘Physio said that if he wants his ankle to be alright tomorrow, he can’t do anything today. No partying, no walking, no leaving the house. He’s not really allowed to be on his feet at all, so can you make sure you stop him from doing anything stupid? It’s not really like him anyway – he’ll want to play on Wednesday – but just in case,’ Callum says, and I nod, trying to hide my disappointment.

I’ve been up in Manchester for work for a couple weeks, and I managed to finish up a couple days early and get back today, in time to spend Mason’s birthday evening with him as a surprise. I quickly dropped my stuff off at my house before rushing over to his mum’s to get keys to his house, and then I rushed over here to decorate with balloons and banners. And I had a whole evening planned for us but that’s all gone out of the window now. I shouldn’t complain though. This is what comes with dating a footballer, and I should be thankful that his injury isn’t worse.

‘I’ll make sure he rests,’ I promise, Callum nodding. ‘I’ll leave you lot to it then.’ ‘Stay a bit, have dinner with us.’ ‘Nah, I’ve gotta get back. And I don’t wanna disturb you lovebirds,’ he jokes, and I roll my eyes. ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see you Wednesday, after the match,’ he says as we walk towards the front door. ‘Happy birthday, bro. Feel better, yeah? See you tomorrow,’ Callum calls as he puts his shoes on. ‘Thanks, bro, see you,’ Mason calls back, Callum bumping his fist against mine before he heads out, jumping into his car and zooming out of the driveway.

I take Mason’s water to him, and he takes a long sip before thanking me. ‘Sorry about this, babe,’ he says, motioning at his ankle, and I wave him off. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Mase, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologise,’ I say as I sit on the arm of the sofa, my boyfriend instantly putting his head in my lap. ‘I know, but it’s ruined your whole surprise,’ he says softly, taking my hand into his and running his finger over my nails, admiring the new set I had done especially for today.

‘You didn’t seem that surprised,’ I laugh, and he gives me an apologetic look. ‘I had new CCTV installed while you were away and it was going crazy with you moving around and decorating the place, so I had to check and I saw you. I was gonna act surprised but I couldn’t be arsed after Callum dragged me in,’ he says drily, and I hold back laughter at the image of Callum getting Mason out of the car. ‘Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?’ ‘I’m sure, angel. I’m totally fine.’

‘What do you want for dinner?’ ‘You, preferably,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘I’m being serious. You look criminally good in this dress,’ he smirks. ‘Had to look nice for my boy’s birthday, didn’t I?’ ‘Oh, babe, did you book something? That’s why you’re all dressed up, isn’t it?’ he asks, looking guilty. ‘I did, but it doesn’t matter.’

‘I’ve ruined everything.’ ‘Don’t say that, Mase! Spending time with you on your birthday is the most important thing. Doesn’t matter where. As long as I’m with you,’ I reply, and he tilts his chin up, motioning for me to kiss him, and I do so gladly, feeling as though a part of me is slotting back into place when our lips touch. I make sure to pull away before he can deepen the kiss, knowing he won’t be able to control himself, and fucking me probably won’t be great for his ankle.

‘What did you have planned?’ he asks as I begin playing with his hair, able to notice the difference in length from the last time I saw him. ‘We were gonna go to your parents’ house to do your birthday cake. Then we were gonna go to Nobu for dinner. And then I booked out a screen in Leicester Square for us to watch No Way Home together,’ I say, the boy groaning which makes me laugh. We’ve both watched it but we haven’t had a chance to watch it together and he’s been banging on about wanting to, so I thought it’d be a nice surprise.

‘Oh, babe, I’m so sorry.’ ‘Stop apologising, Mason! It’s not your fault! I know it’s not ideal, but it is what it is, and we’ll have to just make the most of it. You can phone your mum and they can bring the cake over here. We’ll order a takeaway and watch some other film. We can do all that other stuff some other day,’ I say softly, and he just nods, obviously still feeling guilty. ‘Stop feeling bad, Masey,’ I murmur, pressing a kiss to the top of his forehead, and he just chuckles.

‘You got all… dolled up for nothing.’ ‘Not for nothing. As long as you get to see me looking pretty, I’m happy.’ ‘Well, you do. Look very… pretty,’ he adds, as though he was thinking of a word other than pretty, looking up at me with a grin, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Don’t get any ideas, Mason Mount. No physical activity with this dodgy ankle of yours,’ I say sternly, and he laughs. ‘Maybe you can do the work for once then.’

‘Excuse me? Are you accusing me of being lazy?’ ‘I’m accusing you of being a pillow princess,’ he says drily, and I gasp offendedly. ‘If anything, you should thank me for giving you a workout. Helping you stay healthy, keep your stamina up,’ I joke, and he just raises an eyebrow. ‘Thank you for making such a big sacrifice to help me out,’ he murmurs amusedly, my giggle making his smile grow slightly wider.

‘I should probably phone mum then,’ he says begrudgingly, obviously disappointed that we won’t be able to go over, and I start to get up, putting a cushion under his head instead. ‘Where you going?’ he asks, looking up at me in confusion. ‘Getting changed. I don’t wanna stay in this tight dress if we’re not going out.’ ‘But I haven’t even had a chance to enjoy you in it,’ he pouts, and I laugh. ‘I’ll wear it next time we have a night out. Then you can enjoy it.’ ‘But it’s my birthday,’ he whines, and I can tell how annoyed he is that he’s managed to injure himself on his birthday.

‘Did you shower after training?’ I ask, and he blinks at me for a moment. ‘What?’ ‘Did you shower after training?’ ‘Why would I have… not showered?’ ‘Because of your ankle.’ ‘I’m still not gonna leave there all sweaty, y/n.’ ‘Good,’ I say softly, standing in front of him and turning around. ‘Unzip me.’ ‘…What?’ he asks with a surprised tone, and I hold back a laugh. ‘Unzip my dress,’ I repeat, and I can picture the smirk on his face as he reaches up and pulls down the zip of my dress.

I turn around to face him again before slowly shrugging it off. ‘I hope you don’t mind me taking the dress off. Even though you wanted me to keep it on.’ ‘No, no. It’s alright,’ he smirks, leaning back in his seat and drinking me in, eyes big and dark. ‘Is this the set I bought you for your birthday?’ ‘Mmhmm. Thought I’d save it for a special occasion,’ I smile, knowing just how good I look in the expensive black lace lingerie that I’ve kept hidden away under my bed, hoping he’d never stumble across it when he’s being nosy at my house, wanting him to forget it so I could surprise him.

His face clearly shows his attraction, his dilated eyes trawling over my body shamelessly. ‘Sit,’ he murmurs, patting his legs as he sits up, and I slowly lower myself onto his lap, worried about hurting him. He barely gives me a chance to slot my leg into the gap between his body and the back of the sofa before he’s pressing his lips to mine. ‘You look so fuckin’ sexy, babe. Missed you so much,’ he says against my lips, hands pressing into my waist as I slide my hands up his shoulders and down his back, feeling the ridges of his hard muscles beneath his training kit.

He parts my lips with his, tongue sliding across mine, my stomach turning as I let out a whimper, his lips quirking up with amusement. I tangle my hands into his hair, his freshly washed locks sliding between my fingers, and I tug on it gently, a groan escaping his lips. I can feel him getting more worked up, his hands pressing into me as they move up and down my body, and he slowly rocks me on his lap, the feeling of his bulge pressing against my clothed pussy making me let out a soft moan which only makes him press me down onto him even harder.

The soft scent of his bodywash floods my senses, the taste of him on my tongue and the feeling of his hands on mine making me wetter and wetter by the moment. I pull his lower lip between my teeth before running my tongue over it and he lets out a louder groan this time, the sound heavenly to my ears. I melt against him, body tingling with pleasure at the feeling of his beard lightly scratching against my face.

I break away, out of breath, but Mason seems fine (I suppose he is a footballer with very high stamina), his lips moving to kiss along my jaw instead, trailing down my neck as his fingers toy with the ‘M’ that hangs from the chain around my neck. ‘This is supposed to be about you,’ I say breathlessly, but he ignores me, gently nipping and sucking at my collarbone, wanting to leave a mark. ‘Masey,’ I breathe out, pushing him away with my hands on his chest, and he pouts childishly.

‘Do you have to keep your foot elevated? Or do you think you can put it on the floor for a little bit?’ I ask, and he grins. ‘I can put it on the floor if you need me to, babe.’ I lift myself off him and he adjusts his position so that his feet are planted firmly on the floor and his back is leaning against the back of the sofa. I drop to my knees between his spread legs, a lazy grin on his face as he watches me get into a comfortable position.

He’s already hard, the tent in his trackies giving him away, so I don’t waste much time, hands instantly coming to his waistband. He lifts himself up so I can pull them down along with his boxers, the sight of his dick making my mouth water. A lazy grin plays at his lips as I lean forward with my tongue poking out from between my lips to kitten-lick the tip, his pre-cum coating my taste buds. I meet his eyes, lookin up at him through my lashes as I swallow, relishing the way his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, the arrogance in his face gone. I lean forward again, but this time I press a gentle kiss to the tip, and he lets out a soft breath.

‘Please, baby, stop teasing.’ ‘Am I being mean to the birthday boy?’ I tease amusedly, and he scowls at me. ‘Incredibly mean,’ he replies, lifting his hand to my face and tapping my lower lip. I get the message, opening my mouth and letting two of his fingers delve past my lips. ‘Suck them like they’re my cock, sweetheart,’ he smirks, and I do as he says, swirling my tongue around the digits and coating them in my saliva.

‘Good girl,’ he says softly, the praise making my heart flutter as he slides his fingers out my mouth, gripping his cock, running his hand up and down with a cocky smirk, amused at how I watch, desperate to have my hands on him instead. ‘Go on, babe,’ he prompts, and I waste no time in taking his heavy length into my palm, wrapping my fingers around his cock and tugging gently, revelling in the way his body tenses at my touch.

I can’t resist for much longer and so I place my tongue at the base, licking up to his tip against the vein on the underside of his cock before taking his tip into my mouth, swirling my tongue around him and sucking like he’s a lollipop, cheeks caved in. I look up at him as I take him further in, his darkened eyes locked with mine, and a gag forces its way up my throat when his tip hits the back of my mouth, a soft groan falling from between his lips.

I set a gentle pace, slowly bobbing my head up and down, taking him in as far as possible, hand leisurely tugging at what I can’t reach. ‘Like that, angel, just like that. Feels so fuckin’ good, babe,’ he groans, head thrown back against the sofa, hand fisting into my hair as my eyes begin to water, and I hum around at him at the praise, the sensation making him moan.

It’s not long before his hips begin moving, his hand controlling my head movements, and I grab onto his legs as he thrusts slowly. ‘Gonna be a good girl for me, angel? Gonna let me fuck this pretty little mouth?’ he asks, and I hum in response, the boy not waiting another moment before his thrusts speed up. I gag repeatedly around him, the sounds only spurring him on, and tears run down my face as he watches me try to take him as far in as possible.

‘Feels so good, babe. You’re so fuckin’ good for me. Such a good girl,’ he moans, voice strained, and I can tell he’s getting closer, thrusts becoming erratic and cock twitching against my tongue. ‘Fuck, I’m gonna cum, y/n. Gonna cum down this pretty little throat. Fuck, fuck, y/n,’ he groans, head thrown back as he continues thrusting, his cum hitting the back of my throat.

He pulls out slowly, a trail of his release slipping out of my mouth and trickling down my chin. ‘Lemme see, babe,’ he murmurs breathlessly, and I tilt my head back before opening my mouth, letting him see the cum on my tongue. ‘Swallow, gorgeous,’ he prompts, and I do as he says, opening my mouth again to show him. ‘Good girl,’ he whispers, finger collecting up the cum on my chin, slipping past my lips, and I lick it clean, a proud and cocky grin on his face.

‘Come here, babe,’ he says softly, taking my hands into his and helping pull me up from the floor. ‘Have some water,’ he prompts, and I take a sip from his glass as he pulls his trackies back up before lying down on the sofa again. He pulls me on top of him and wraps his arms around me, lips pressed to my temple. ‘You’re so good to me, my pretty girl. What did I do to deserve you?’ he murmurs against my skin, and my lips curve up into a contended smile. ‘I ask myself the same question every day, Masey,’ I whisper back, voice hoarse, and he lets out a soft laugh as he rubs my back soothingly.

‘Thank you for coming back early to surprise me. You’re the best birthday gift I could have asked for,’ he says softly, my heart fluttering as I snuggle into him even more, head buried in his chest and legs tangled with his. ‘And I’m sorry I can’t fuck you. Even though you could ride me if you want,’ he suggests, voice tinged with mirth, and I let out a surprised laugh. ‘We both know I’m too lazy for that. I’ll wait ‘til you finish training tomorrow. If you don’t mind me staying here during the day, that is,’ I add, not wanting to be presumptuous, and he chuckles.

‘Of course I don’t mind, babe. I was actually thinking… what if you just moved in?’ he asks, and my heart stops for a moment. ‘We’ve been together a while – well, not that long really, but it feels like forever. In a good way, of course! And I just thought it’d be convenient, with how busy we both are, so that we can see each other every day without having to actually make plans. But I’m not saying it only because it’d be convenient, because I obviously would like it if you lived here because I like spending time with you, which is obvious. You wouldn’t be my girlfriend if I didn’t like-’ ‘Mason.’

His nervous tirade stops when I say his name, and I tilt my head so I can look at him, an amused smile on my face at the anxiety in his eyes. ‘I would love to live with you,’ I whisper, and his lips curve up into a big grin, eyes crinkling adorably. ‘I love you,’ he announces, making me laugh. ‘And I love you too, birthday boy,’ I giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. I'm hoping you can help me find a modern hospital AU that I vaguely remember but don't have a clue who wrote it.  Wei Wuxian is a hospital volunteer (very good with young patients) but also a long time patient (maybe cancer) who encounters Lan Wangji and his family.  I'm not even absolutely sure it's Lan Wangji who's the patient.  However, it was clear that living to an old age was definitely not guaranteed for either.  Lovely story, so I'd be very grateful if someone can track it down.

FOUND! some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, wangxian, modern, hospitals, teenage drama, slow burn, hurt/comfort, happy ending, Mojo’s post)

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2. Hello! I'm looking for a fic - WWX returned to Cloud Recess and has been staying at the Jingshi with LWJ. But he thinks he should move out so he moved to a guest room. I remember a scene where LWJ came rushing in a panic because he thought WWX left :(Thank you!! @kayechan-blog

FOUND? can i look the other way by shipyrds (G, 2k, wangxian, post-canon, misundesrtandings, fluff)

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3. hi hello🥺 I need your help finding a fic, maybe you've read it!!! All I remember is that xicheng go on a much needed vacation but on their way they meet two kids and end up adopting them. I can't find it anywhere😭😭 @hissingfire​

FOUND?  For the heirs to come (be brave) by velithya (E, 24k, JC/LXC, post-canon, canon typical violence, smut, hurt/comfort, insecurity, fluff, accidental child acquisation, found family, PTSD, grief/mourning)

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4. Hello! I'm looking for a fic that I don't recall in nearly enough detail to even know where to start looking. I just remember this one specific scene where wwx is injured(?) and manages to climb up the stairs to cloud recesses, but he's not allowed in bc he's only allowed in for the winter/when it snows. I think it happened to be the day before or something? And the juniors discover him outside and are outraged. Does anyone recognize the fic? Tysm!!

FOUND? Scenes From Three Winters by LtLJ (G, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, romance, family feels, family issues, family drama, PTSD, body horror, bad parent LQR, happy ending)

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5.   Heyo Mod L! I’m looking for a fic where WWX and the Wens moved to Yiling. It started as WWX teaching the kids how yo write and escalated from there. He has a small school there and JC came to see when he found they weren’t paying taxes? Please help me and Thank you!!

❤️ Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, wangxian, my post)

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6. Hello i'm trying to find this fic which i suddenly remember while reading Like Rabbits by Setari I'm saying that cause i think the fic i'm looking for is similar in terms of them having multiple kids but WWX going to gusu to ask for help cause there's a wangxian baby on the way/is born but WWX and LWJ already had a couple of kids that WWX keep secret (i think) so he gone to gusu to ask for LWJ to help care for the kids. Timeline events wise i think it's when the Wens and WWX are living in the Burial Mounds i'm not really sure on that. It's been a while back since I've read that fic the details might be completely wrong from what i said vs the actual events in the fic. Also sorry if that's short on details but that's all i remember and hopefully the fic i'm looking for isn't just a figment of my imagination.

FOUND? The Third Time by CordeNarcissus (M, 12k, wangxian, ABO, mpreg, unplanned pregnancy, marriage, everyone lives au, alternate endings)

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7. Hello! Im looking for a yizhan fic (please just delete this ask if it's not within the bounds of the blog but if it is, plspls help me find it) It's a getting BACK together fic, future (?) fic and all I can remember is Yibo is almost  retired, living somewhere where there are mountains (?) And xiao zhan just keeps on dropping by without a heads up, and sometimes even waits for him. It actually takes a while for them to get back together or even kiss againI really want to re-read that delicious pacing of a fic, thank you so much for your hard work! <3<3 (Is it obvious that i would die without this blog, i love you all so much) @losing-victor​

FOUND!  A Long Time Ago… We Used to be Friends by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 49k, WYB/XZ, slow burn, angst)

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8. LWJ is the head of the Lan, who were devastated in the war against the Wen. None of the other clans protected them, despite both them and WWX requesting. LWJ asks for WWX's hand in marriage. Everyone thinks it is to punish him or get revenge, but actually it is because WWX snuck out to help the Lan and Jin-asshole was going to have him killed for it. @fightmehomework

FOUND! golden when the day met the night by Anonymous (not rated, 67k, wangxian, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light angst, fluff, eventual smut, WIP)

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9. hi! i was looking for this one wangxian fic that’s inspired by a richard siken poem or something like that, but i cant find it :( so i was wandering if anyone remembers the title or has the link

FOUND? drop me down to the dream below by AroPeterWam (E, 44k, wangxian, time travel, comfort, angst w/ happy ending, reincarnation, dimension travel, sick WWX, noncultivator WWX, WIP)

FOUND? the landscape after cruelty, which is, of course, a garden by Folderol (G, 3k, WWX & WQ, burial mounds settlement days)

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10. Hi! Can you help me find a fic where Lan Zhan is a God of Death or something close to that wherein whenever lwj touches smth, it dies. I remember reading it on AO3. The story goes something like lwj accidentally touched wwx and then wwx dies. :(( Thank u so much!

FOUND?  Destined to Meet You by Reader997 (E, 30k, wangxian, hades/persephone au, mpreg, first time, childbirth, smut)

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11. HELLO!!! love all the hard work that you do!!!!!! i was wondering if anyone has the link to a wangxian fic where lwj’s mom lived in a cottage (?) and was sick, so wangxian moved there to help her, oh and it was an modern au, and i think had only one chapter out of 2 when i read it, that’s it thank u so much!!

FOUND? paired wings soaring by typefortydeductions (E, 33k, wangxian, modern, domestic bliss, slice of life, angst & fluff & smut, hurt/comfort, kissing, BDSM, light somnophilia)

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12. Hello, here's one for the next Fic Finder post -- It was a TGCF crossover where Wei Wuxian's soul, during the 13 years he was dead, was being kept safe by Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng was willing to intervene on WWX's behalf because Lan Wangji prayed to Xie Lian for the safety of his soul, and Hua Cheng approves of other people who worship Dianxia. I read it back before I knew anything about TGCF, and I'd really like to read it again! @mikkeneko​

not FOUND happiness, with you by glowelegans (M, 5k, wangxian, TGCF crossover, grief/mourning)

'happiness, with you' does not seem to be the one I'm thinking of, though I'm happy to read it too! The one I remember had WWX talking to Hua Cheng throughout most of it, in some kind of spirit-trapping pouch or vessel in Hua Cheng's possession.

FOUND! The Pros and Cons of Keeping Wei Wuxian's Spirit Hostage by cringewerewolf (T, 12k, wangxian, hualian, angst, suicidal ideation, humor, happy ending)

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13. Hi! This is such a great resource for finding fics y’all do so much. I’m looking for a fic where most of the ensemble cast is in acting school together and the final production of the semester is Much Ado About Nothing, and WWX and LWJ play the leads. Could you help me find it? Thank you!!! @waterlilyvioletfog​

FOUND? too wise to woo peaceably bybhere_perishing (M,  43k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, drama school, actors, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, pining, getting together, angst w/ happy ending, fluff & smut)

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14. hello! I'm looking for a fic where LWJ sleeps with Burial Mounds era WWX. It was not a very long fic, and they were not together. LWJ does not go to the Burial Mounds. I think they meet up in some dusty room in Yiling. He may have talked to Wen Qing about WWX's condition and that he needs to dual cultivate. There was definitely mention of what terrible shape WWX is in after his fall into the Burial Mounds, broken bones,I think it mentioned his wrist held together with resentment. @significanceofmoths​

FOUND? A Cup of Tea by Silvers_Hidden_Corner (Silver_Flame_2724) (E, 4k, wangxian, burial mounds settlement days, dubious consent, aphrosidiacs, porn w/ plot, dual cultivation, WWX has new golden core, communication, fix-it of sorts)

FOUND? sometimes my hands don't feel like my own by northofallmusic (tofsla) (E, 8k, wangxian, resentful energy tentacles, tender body horror, weird sex, golden core mad science, relationship negotiations, chronic pain, sex magic)

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15. Okay I really need your help!! I know I've seen you answer this on a fic finder post before but I've been scrolling through for HOURS and still haven't found it 😭 basically the fic is an arranged marriage between lwj and wwx and wwx has a really hard time adjusting to cloud recesses. Lwj and lxc try their best to help him but lqr is punishing him for every small little thing. I think there's a scene where wwx breaks down while getting fitted for new clothes maybe? I remember near the end jc comes to visit and lqr comes to apologize while he's there and wwx just starts crying bc he thinks lqr is going to make him leave just as he and lwj finally got close. Please please help me find this fic!!! Thank you so much for all you do!!!!  @dekus-gonna-wreck-you​

FOUND! Mourning Robes by Starlight1395 (T, 17k, wangxian, arranged marriage, no sunshot, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, depression, dissociating, fluff)

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[purelyfiction]

Cabin Fever

James Bond x (F) Reader

Word count: 1,153 Words

Summary: prompt was cozy cabin. we are on a roll here pals - also this is potentially angsty? you and bond are stuck in a mountain top cabin waiting on being extracted after a finished mission - both of you are sore and tense (bond killed the mark again) and frankly, you’re ready to be out of his presence. why? because too much exposure to james bond is a bad thing. (read: you’ve got a juicy crush on the man and aren’t about to let that come to light)

Triggers: injury mention, argument, death mention, weapon mention

The worst part about missions like this was getting back home. Especially when the mission was to bring back information and not to kill the very person with said information. It was a reoccuring theme with Bond and you nor M were rather happy about it. You’d discussed that with him while you were packing up your things on day one of waiting for MI6 to show. 

“Are you really incapable of keeping people alive?” You scoff, throwing your things into your suitcase and listening for a response from across the hall. Having the cabin was rather nice for a change. Being able to openly discuss without anyone hearing and having space to stretch out - and get away from Bond - was nice. You also didn’t have to share a bed which was a blessing in and of itself. 

“If I wanted to do that I would’ve gone to medical school.” He teases. With most of your belongings packed you stalk into his room, only to find him shirtless and dabbing at a very gruesome injury. 

“Maybe you should have with how often you’re resolved to doing this.” You scold, approaching him and looking to the first aid kit, moving to help when he pulls the case away. 

“’M fine. I’ve got it handled.” You watch him retreat before glancing at you. “Now, as for the matter at hand - he would’ve rat us out if we hadn’t killed him.” 

“We? We? Sorry, who pulled the trigger? Right, I believe it was 007? And last I checked I was 005? So.... you. You killed him.” You correct him before catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You then returned to your room to take a shower. 

That was three days ago. 

You’re now on day four of waiting on extraction - there’d been a hiccup somewhere along the chain of command and no one was sent to fetch you from the cabin. So, you’d been stuck avoiding James as long as you possibly could’ve. 

You’re getting up from your reading spot with your empty tea cup, moving to go and refill when you spot Bond at the counter peeling an apple. He’s pretty honed on to the task - until a board under your foot gives you away. His head’s popping up to look at you mid turn back to your room when he clears his throat. You sigh as he begins to speak. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been avoiding me.” 

“Avoiding you? Now why on earth would I do that?” You mockingly speak as you enter the cabin’s shared space. He gives you a questioning brow as his hands continue to move.

“Do I dare mention the pile of dishes at the foot of your door?” You freeze a little and give a glance to said pile. It was much larger than you remember it being initially.

“Maybe I’m treating this like a paid vacation. After all that’s kind of what it’s become.” You’re not wrong though. MI6 had paid you for ‘inconveniencing’ you and you got to actually enjoy the glamorous cabin that they’d put you up in for the mission. You’d hoped that it’d last longer than the expected 4 days - spoiler, it had and hadn’t. With James killing the mark, you were only on day 2. But with the four days of waiting, you were here for nearly a week already. 

“Right, right.” He’s finished cutting the skin off the apple, cutting it into slices he eats off the back of the paring knife. “Clue number two. You keep avoiding my eyes.” Were you?  You’d come to sit at the edge of the island where barstools were lined along the way, playing with the string on your bag of tea. 

“Am not.” 

“Are too.”

“Am not.” The childish bickering ends at his next statement. 

“Fine. Look me in the eye then.” James positions himself to lean on the counter, waiting for your gaze to meet his. Hesitantly, you do so, looking at him directly in his cool blues. In your peripheral, you can see the stopwatch function on his watch spinning. 

“Are you timing me, 007?” 

“Maybe I am, 005.” 

You two sit there, unmoving, staring for some time. As you do so, you find yourself drifting. Melting almost. You’ve always been so cautious as to not get caught in staring, but now... he’s giving you the chance to do so. You’re counting wrinkles in his furrowed brow, noticing the way his shirt sits snugly against him. The popped collar and unbuttoned fasteners leaving a small peek of skin between creme fabric of his Henley. Your gaze drops at the ringing of a phone - his - sat on the counter, vibrating against the granite. You look back up to him, seeing his gaze is still solid. 

“Are... are you gonna get that?” You mumble the question, watching him pick it up - eyes unmoving to you. When he does so, he’s answering questions briefly before hanging up, still staring you down. 

“They had an equipment failure. They’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He relays the information to you and you give a slow nod. You’re starting to move from your seat when he speaks your name. 

“What?” You ask, seeing his expression has changed even as you move to the electric kettle. Turning it on, you’re getting a new tea bag, turning to do so when you see him leant up against the counter, back to it, arms crossed. “What, Bond?” You try again, seeing him lift a hand and pull his index finger in a silent ‘come here’. After almost five minutes of his gaze, you’re following, just out of pure intimidation, approaching carefully. You stand in front of him, watching him cautiously. His hand moves to cup yours - instinctively you move to grip his wrist, which is what prompts a word out of him. 

“Easy, angel.” He hums, thumb carefully caressing your cheek. Before you can retort anything, he’s pulled you to him, his lips meeting yours. You can taste the remnant apple juice left on his lips from his snack. Mixed with the intoxicating smell of his body wash - cologne - whatever the hell it was that made him smell so good, you’re too lost in it to notice the way his hand pulls your hip closer to you, your neck craning back a little. 

In all the times you’d imagined kissing Bond, none of them have ever gone like this. Your frame is frozen in place - scared to move - scared to pull away. Until the breaking of a latch from the far side of the cabin rings into the building. 

The two of you both pull away, quick to draw weapons from concealment, aimed to the direction of the sound. 

“Finish this conversation later?” He questions.

“If you don’t get me killed first.” You respond.