#“Wade joining monsters because of his face or whatever” I am going to steal your computer

[qcomicsy]

Marvel writer: Then Wade get involved with monsters! And–

Me:

[egotheplanet]

To New Beginnings (Colossus x Reader)

Request: Could you pretty please do a colossus fic where reader and wade are super close friends, they go way back.. so wade calls her in for back up during a battle where wade, NTW, and Piotr are kinda getting their asses kicked. And reader is so badass and powerful and colossus has complete heart eyes @ her.

Warnings: Wade Wilson and depictions of violence

Word Count: 3,126

His heavy breathing echoed alongside the equally gasping (and comically dressed) heroes beside him. As cheesy as it sounds, they always knew how to come together and save the day! Even during last minute rescues, their rag-tag team pulled through. No matter the cost. The cost usually being a limb or two at Wades expense.

But this time, the tide seemed to be turning and it was clearly not in their favor.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead— or Ellie as everyone recently began referring— laid belly up a few feet away from him. Her skin was busted open above her brow and leaking blood at an alarming rate. Even the invincible Deadpool himself seemed to be twisted into a shape he couldn’t get out of without the help of his combustible friend. Yukio was still standing alongside the cyborg who was very enamored with the task of rebuilding his futuristic weapon. Domino had the beasts attention while the team quickly recuperated and came up with a new plan.

Colossus had to think. Fast.

His team was losing.

This wasn’t the first time they went up against the Juggernaut. No, they were seasoned fighters when it came to the big guy. This was the SECOND time their adversary had the severe misfortune of being in their sights. After the whole ordeal at the orphanage, the chosen family left hastily to revel in their triumph. But their one mistake came back to haunt them. They never caught and locked Juggernaut up. Upon hearing his havoc resumed soon after their departure, they felt responsible for his latest atrocities. This guilt plagued Colossus the most.

Earlier that morning

“This is what fighting dirty gets you!” His deep voice reverberated through the dining room as he strode in to interrupt everyone’s breakfast.

“Good morning to you too. What’s the matter? Out of tiny self help books?” Wade paused for a beat, slightly flinching as he awaited the clap-back. “Get it? Because you usually spend your morning meditating in your room— okay what’s wrong? You’re usually choking me by now.”

Colossus stomped over to the small television which sat atop the kitchen counter and pressed the power button. Blank static which signals the TVs awakening quickly fades out as the sound of a breaking news report becomes louder.

“The Juggernaut can now be seen stomping across the street and into the car dealership, ripping through anything in his way—“ the volume is cut off as Colossus presses mute and shifts to stand in front of the screen.

His arms cross in front of his chest and the team know they’re in for a lecture.

“The Juggernaut is loose because we did not complete job! It is our fault for fighting dirty and not putting him back in ice box where he belongs.” This inspires everyone to send accusatory looks to the red-suited trouble maker at the head of the table.

“He’s right, Wade. We were quick to fight and just as quick to get out. If we had tired him out with the help of the proper authorities, we could have gotten him back into custody.” Ellie’s calm but judging demeanor was starting to get under the mercs skin.

“And? Everyone got out in one piece!”

“This time.” Russell muttered into his spoonful of Cap’n Crunch.

“Hey!” Wade pointed a finger to the robust teen, “I thought we agreed to never bring that up again.”

“That is enough!” Everyone jolted and turned their attention to the most responsible of the team. “We have mission. Stop Juggernaut and put him back in the hands of the law.” Piotr turned the tv off as he began to head towards the kitchen. “Suit up! We leave in ten minutes.”

Current time

Domino slid beneath and between the behemoths legs in a final attempt to escape. Cain’s massive hand barely grazed her as she ran away. She was starting to feel like her luck was running out.

They’ve been fighting ‘clean’ for hours now and Wade’s patience was wearing thin. If they had just gone with what he suggested, they’d all be home now watching Cheers in their socks-n-crocs.

Luck can only carry the team so far when their exhaustion was growing stronger than their opponent. Unlucky for them, Juggernaut seemed just as energetic and deadly as usual.

Wade raised his recently freed hands in the air and clapped them together. He and Cable nodded at each other, clearly some sort of signal. Cable ran into action so the team could huddle and discuss what their next course of action should be.

Colossus opened his mouth to give orders but Wade beat him to the punch.

“I’m gonna call in reinforcements. This is our last chance to save the whole mission and our precious, precious bodies from being ripped in half.” His masked gaze traveled up from the dirt to Colossus. “Or at least save you from getting a dent you can’t buff out. Okay! Break on three and keep Fuckernaut busy till she shows up! Got it?”

Everyone exchanged nervous looks but their overwhelming exhaustion was offering no choice but to hear him out.

When have any of Wades plans ever worked out without someone dying? Colossus could count the occasions on one hand. Hell, half of one.

“No, we finish this right, Wade! No repeats of last time.” Colossus bargained and glanced up from their huddle to see Cable get knocked to the ground.

NTW piped up with her opinion after silently debating with Yukio. Just a look and Ellie could tell what her better half was thinking.

“Colossus. I think we should let him call this lady up. If she’s as helpful as he says, god knows we could use the help!”

“I agree with 2007 Brittany Spears!” Ellie scoffed at Wades latest nickname. “Okay, I’ll call Y/N while you guys form human shields for me! One.. two.. three! Break!”

Everyone ran into action as Wade nearly tripped up going the opposite way. He stumbled back onto his feet and dialed Y/N’s number.

He started bouncing on his toes after the fourth ring, fearing she wouldn’t answer.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Pick it up, god fucking damnit!”

“Couldn’t you start the call off with something nicer? Try, hey Y/N it’s been ages! How ya been-“ her voice sounded a little distorted over his phone but it was music to his ears.

“No time to flirt, we need you!”

“I’m guessing you’re talking about the whole Juggernaut situation downtown and not a threesome. God I hope it’s not a threesome.”

“Cute. But it’s the Juggernaut thing! How fast can you get here?”

“Put down the phone and get out of the way, knucklehead!”

It wasn’t until that moment that Wade realized she sounded like she was in a speeding car. He jumped out of her way, narrowly avoiding the grill it as it came honking past.

She beelined past the costumes and shifted her large truck into a different gear. Wades team quickly dispersed after gathering what was about to take place. The team had just enough time to throw Juggernaut off his rhythm, giving Y/N ample time to hit and drag him almost 200 feet. Jumping out her door at the last second, the truck slammed his body into the car dealerships outer wall. Her body rolled expertly and she sprung to her feet in no time to finish him off.

Everyone was shocked at this woman who came out of no where to defeat the Juggernaut!

“We aren’t done yet!” Her uniform was sleek and skin tight. Her voice was equally as intimidating as her driving skills. “His helmet needs to come off and we need someone to mentally attack him!”

“What, like, bully him?” Russell quipped as he got up out of the dirt, wiping his pants free of debris.

“No, lighter fluid-for-brains! She means we need Charles or another telepath to disable him so we can restrain him.” NTW quickly fired back at the young trainee.

“Whatever the fuck we’re doing, better do it fast. He’s getting up!” Cable was quick on his feet; backing up just in time to miss a large piece of, what used to be, Y/N’s truck which smashed into the ground in front of him.

“Charles isn’t anywhere close to us! It’d take forever for him to get here!” Yukio pointed out as her stance grew more rigid at the thought of possibly having to get close enough to the Juggernaut to take his helmet off.

“She’s right, our best bet is to just take him out physically.” NTW nodded at her girlfriend while everyone quickly weighed their options.

“Finally, I can fight him one on one to prove myself!” Wade pretended to stretch. “Hope no one takes this time to go ahead of me and totally steal my thunder.” He bent over to touch his toes.

Y/N kicked his butt with the tip of her shoe as she glared at him.

“Let’s go! If we work together, we can finish this once and for all!” Colossus’ voice thundered and Y/N’s gaze looked over to him.

He looked down at her and nodded as if to say ‘I’m with you.’

She nodded back to acknowledge him, the corner of her lips turned upward in a smirk.

Colossus ran past her to get the party started and her eyes were on his ass the whole way.

“I am so gonna climb him like a tree when we’re done here.” She mumbled before joining chrome bone in the fight.

“I am so wishing to never hear anyone say that again.” Russell cringed out loud.

“Agreed.” The team, including Wade, shuddered before beginning to sprint alongside each other to finish the fight.

One by one, everyone was thrown out of the way by Cain. Domino quietly made her way up to him from behind as Y/N held his front attention in the form of a jump-kick to the face.

He grunted and stumbled back into Dom, who had been holding one end of a long rope which was connected to debris on the ground.

Luckily enough, the jump-kick-into-rope combo worked out for the women stupendously.

Everyone watched in amazement as the monster collapsed onto the ground, his helmet popping in half so he was left with a giant metal choker. As he attempted to get up, Y/N sprung into action with a crowbar someone haphazardly tossed to her. She ran up to Juggernaut, catapulting herself into the air off of his groin and onto his chest where she began beating his face with the tool.

NTW communicated her next move to the team and ran up to Cable, jumping off his shield as a means of spring.

Domino and Y/N ran the other way, knowing what was coming their way. Just barely making it behind a few discarded car parts, NTW unleashed her power on the freshly exposed Juggernaut.

The explosion reverberated for a good few seconds before everyone jumped out of their hiding places to go assist in the end of the fight.

Cable, Deadpool and Domino shot into the smoke filled area where Cain previously laid taking hits.

Even Russell concentrated his devastating blows of force onto his once partner in literal crime.

Ellie had long since cleared out to the sidelines to be with Yukio, the blood on her forehead being gingerly wiped away.

“You did good, El.” Yukio held her girlfriend tight and planted a kiss against her sweat and blood smeared forehead.

Colossus walked over to the newcomer, offering his hand.

“My name is-“

“Colossus. I know who you are. Famous X-Men member and personal friend of a friend.” She cut him off with a smile, her hand meeting his halfway and giving it a firm shake, introducing herself.

“Ah, he is talking of me to others. All terrible I hope.” Piotr was... flirting?

If Y/N knew one thing about Wade, it was that he was a great liar. She should have known better when he told her that Colossus never flirted back or joked around. Wade said he was as uptight as he was shiny. She was pleasantly surprised by Wades lies for once.

“If you two are done gazing into each other’s eyes,” the pair looked over to see the smoke cleared, “Juggernauts out like a light.” Cables rough voice barked out. If they looked just a little bit closer, they would be able to see Nathan’s smirk.

The troops enforcing the Ice Box’ security came trotting in. Guns and power dampening collars at the ready.

“Perfect timing! Taking the credit after the fightings through, how convenient.” Wade jokingly complained as everyone finally got the chance to take a breather.

The team took this time to check one another for severe damage and ensure Juggernauts incarceration. After hours of fighting, it took minutes of the newcomers skill to confine the beast.

Color Colossus impressed. Color him extremely impressed. Both with Wade for knowing and calling on such a person but with Y/N herself for completing the task no one else could.

Later that night

Hearty laughter filled the dining room for the first time in weeks.

“She’s funny, you’re funny!” Wade jokingly swooned over his friend as she wrapped up her joke successfully.

Y/N laughed and shoved him slightly, his out of date Christmas sweater wrinkling against even wrinklier skin.  

“Well you get plenty of time to work on your joke delivery when you’re all alone.” She muttered almost bitterly to herself as she brought her wine glass to her lips.

“You’re lonely?” Piotr inserted himself into the duos conversation. Wades eyes widened and darted from Y/N to Colossus in disbelief.

“Uh, I think he meant to ask if you live alone. In a concerned, brotherly tone.” Wade was quick to get what Piotr’s was really laying down. Of course he had to be a wingman for his tall friend.

“Da, this is what I meant.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, sitting up straighter.

Y/N looked around at the people occupying the table. Russell was too busy chowing down on the spread she helped create to join into the discussion. Yukio and NTW were quietly having their own moment with one another at the opposite end of the long table. Cable listened in amusedly but kept to himself and his beer. Dom folded her hands together and put her elbows on the table, resting her chin atop her hands and offering her full attention.

“I mean, yeah I live alone but let’s not make the celebration into a pity party.” Y/N tried to steer the group back into its previous jesting mood.

“Right! So once there was this huge-“ Wade began but was abruptly interrupted.

“Well there’s plenty of space at the mansion for you! And room to practice your abilities.” Colossus quickly proposed to what was proving to be the newest member of their little family. “You can practice jokes with me instead yourself.”

At this point, all eyes were on the large man and all ears were in on the baffling exchange.

Piotr’s eyes were only on Y/N. Then everyone’s eyes shifted to her to hear her answer.

Wade laughed nervously in an attempt to break up the increasingly awkward atmosphere.

“Okay, that’s enough hazing Colossus. She’s had a long day. We all have.” Wade shoved some mashed potatoes into his mouth.

“Actually, it’d be nice not to pay rent. New York is wildly expensive. And my monthly gym bill? Forget about it!” Y/N was much more inviting of the idea than Piotr could have ever hoped. “And if you’re my neighbor? I might as well move in now.” She winked at Piotr as she sipped her wine.

Everyone’s eyes shifted back to Colossus.

“What the fuck is going on right now.” Wade looked between the two as if he were a child and they were his parents hiding something from him.

“The fuck that’s going on right now is we have new X-Man!” Colossus puffed his chest out in pride as his hand slapped the top of the table out of excitement, everyone’s dishes rattling for a second before settling again.

Y/N’s smile was massive as she looked up at him, her glass held up to toast.

“I’d love to be a part of your team. If you’ll all have me.” She was suddenly shy as she sought approval from everyone. “I’ll only join if everyone is on board with the idea.”

Everyone continued their silent looks, no one wanted to go first. Wade happily accepted his turn for the spotlight.

“We’ve been friends since we were in the special forces together. You know my answers always going to be yes. Unless, you know, it’s to commit a horrible crime. Then it’s gonna have to be ‘only if you film’.” Wades smirk turned to a genuine and caring smile.

Y/N’s heart grew at his support. Her eyes shifted over to Cable.

“I was impressed with your initiative today.” Nathan grunted as he sat down his empty beer can. “It’d probably be a load off if you joined. I’m for it.”

Her excitement grew with the teams acceptance. She also poured the grumpy man a full glass of wine as a form of appreciation.

Cable nudged the young member beside him. Russell’s attention was already on the unfolding scene.

“If you’re a friend of Wade, you’re a friend of mine! Of course you can join our team!” He was beaming at the thought of another mentor. Hopefully this one was more responsible than Wade but not as uptight as Cable and Colossus.

“It’s already a yes from me and you know it.” Dom quickly interjected from her seat. Her smile was bright and her glass raised to her new friend.

Everyone turned to the lovers at the end of the table. They would make or break Y/N’s career as an X-Men.

“It’s nice to have another feminine face around here. ‘Furthers my petition to rename the team something more gender neutral.” Ellie pretended not to care very much. Yukio saw through her facade and so did everyone else at the table.

“Welcome to the team, Y/N!” Yukio cheered while looping her arm with Ellie’s.

Y/N’s eyes watered but no tears fell. Colossus once again made the right choice and this time it was to expand the family.

“Jeeze, every time you’re left alone Wade, you bring someone else to live with us.” NTW joked comfortably.

“I promise to do my best to be an upstanding member of your team. Better yet, I’ll do my best to be an upstanding member of your family.” Y/N vowed to the table.

“You already are.” Piotr stood and smiled warmly down at her, his glass joining everyone else’s in the air. “To new beginnings!”

[lesbian-deadpool]

Rocky Raccoon

Y/N has created a chat.

Y/N has renamed the chat: Earths Mightiest Survivors

Y/N has added, Steve, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, Rocket, Okoye, Rhodey.

Y/N: Hey, so how are all of you on this fine day? :)

Okoye: What's wrong with her?

Natasha: This is her way of trying to cope with everything.

Y/N: I :) Am :) So :) Sad :)

Y/N: Ouch :) The :) Heartbreak :)

Steve: You know what makes me sad, Y/N?

Steve: The chat name!

Steve: THE CHAT NAME

Y/N: It may make you sad. But, hey, at least it's accurate :)

Bruce: She still has her sass I see.

Y/N: Hi Bruice, you know what I'm still wondering about? When you're gonna get off of your smart ass and GET TONY OUT OF SPACE

Thor: How do we even know he's still alive?

Y/N: GASP! THOR, HOW DARE YOU?!

Bruce: TAKE THOSE WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW!

Thor: I'M SO SORRY. I'm just so sad.

Thor: I've lost, almost everything important to me. I just want you to be prepared for bad news if it comes. Which I dearly hope it does not.

Natasha: I've never seen Thor sad before.

Natasha: I don't like it.

Steve: No one does.

Bruce: It's breaking my heart.

Y/N: Ditto, to both of those.

Natasha: Take it back.

Natasha: Where's the receipt?

Natasha: I don't want sad Thor anymore.

Okoye: Quick someone make him happy.

Y/N: ON IT

Y/N: SQUIRREL TALK TO ME

Y/N: FUR BABY

Y/N: FLUFFY BOY

Y/N: What does Thor call you?

You: Oh yeah!

Y/N: RABBIT

Y/N: TALK TO ME RABBIT

Rocket: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!

Rocket: Why won't you just let me cry in peace?

Natasha: Hold on. How does he have a phone?

Bruce: He's from space, probably had one the whole time.

Natasha: Makes sense.

Okoye: Or he stole one.

Natasha: That makes more sense.

Y/N: Hi, Rocky Raccoon.

Rocket: It's Rocket.

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon.

Rocket: Rocket. AND I'M NOT A RACCOON

Natasha: Does he really not know he's a raccoon?

Steve: I don't think so.

Bruce: Well he is a TALKING raccoon, from SPACE, maybe he's never seen one before.

Okoye: I say we show him one.

Steve: No, that would be awful, and most likely scaring.

Natasha: Yes, that would be so awful.

Natasha: Let's do it.

Steve: Natasha! I thought better of you!

Natasha: Did you really?

Steve: No. No, I actually didn't.

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon.

Rocket: Rocket.

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon.

Rocket: Rocket!

Steve: What is she doing?

Natasha: I have no clue. But I am enjoying this immensely.

Okoye: Same here, I just made some popcorn.

Natasha: Cool, can I have some?

Okoye: Sure.

Bruce: What about me?

Okoye: No.

Bruce: What? Why?

Okoye: There's not enough.

Bruce: Oh, okay. Fine.

Thor: May I have some? I am so very depressed.

Okoye: Of course.

Bruce: WHAT

Bruce: I don't get any, but he does?

Bruce: I see how it is.

Okoye: Ugh! Fine, you can have some.

Bruce: YAY

Steve: How can any of you eat at a time like this?!

Okoye: Leave us alone, Steve.

Natasha: Yeah, this is how we grieve.

Thor: With delicious popped corn.

Bruce: And watching Y/N be weird.

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon.

Rocket: ROCKET!

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon checked into his room. Only to find Gideon's bible.

Rocket: What? Who the fuck is Gideon?

Y/N: But Rocky had come equipped with a gun. To shoot off the legs of his rival.

Rocky: Your leg's? Cause they soon will be, if you don't stop this shit.

Y/N: His rival it seems had broken his dreams. By stealing the girl of his fancy.

Y/N: Her name was Magill and she called herself Lil. But everyone knew her as Nancy.

Rocky: Who the fuck is that?!

Rocky: I don't know anyone called Magill, Lil, or Nancy, whatever the fuck her name is.

Natasha: Steves head's about to explode with the amount of swearing in this chat.

Steve: That's never gonna go away is it?

Thor: Never goNNA GIVE YOU UP

Bruce: Thor how do you know that?!

Natasha: I'm dyING.

Thor: Y/N taught me before I left for... Asgard...

Okoye: Is he alright?

Bruce: He's dissociating. He'll be fine in a minute.

Y/N: Now she and her man who called himself Dan. Were in the next room at the hoedown.

Rocket: Who in the hell is Dan?!

Y/N: Rocky burst in, and grinning a grin. He said, "Danny boy, this is a showdown".

Rocket: What the hell is she doing?

Steve: No clue.

Thor: Nor I.

Natasha: Wait! I do. And just let me tell you, it's amAZING.

Steve: Natasha you're enjoying this a bit too much.

Natasha: I am enjoying this the regular amount, Steven.

Bruce: Is she alright?

Steve: Probably not. We're all going a little crazy with grief.

Okoye: Not me bitch. I'm just the same old, Michonne.

Steve: Who?

Y/N: But Daniel was hot, he drew first and shot. And Rocky collapsed in the corner.

Y/N: Now the doctor came in stinking of gin. And proceeded to lie on the table.

Y/N: He said, "Rocky, you met your match".

Rocket: Do you wanna meet yours?

Thor: YeS FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Natasha: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Okoye: Twenty on Y/N.

Bruce: Nah, no offence to Y/N, but Rocket would destroy her.

Natasha: Are you shitting me, Bruce? Y/N has kicked MY ass, the raccoon's no match for her.

Thor: I have to disagree with you, Lady Natasha. Have you seen Rabbits gun? She would be dead within a second.

Natasha: We NEVER said anything about weapons!

Okoye: Yeah, what are you? Some sort of monster?

Thor: No of course not.

Natasha: But I do guess they could have armour and equally matched weapons.

Steve: What?

Steve: NO

Steve: NO BETTING ON THEM. NO MAKING THEM FIGHT. NO CONSIDERING WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT BETWEEN THEM. AND ESPECIALLY  NO GLADIATOR STYLE FIGHTING.

Natasha: Ooo, bolded, and italics, you are mad.

Steve: I'm not mad. Just disappointed.

Natasha: No not that, that's worse!

Thor: Not the eyebrows of disappointment! Anything but the eyebrows of disappointment!

Bruce: We're sorry, please forgive us.

Okoye: Why do I feel like I need this random white guy to be proud of me.

Bruce: That's the power of, Steve Rogers.

Natasha: Some may think it's his advanced EVERYTHING that makes him a superhero. But it's not. His true superpower is making you want him to be proud of you.

Natasha: It's a curse for everyone who's not him.

Y/N: And Rocky said, "Doc, it's only a scratch. And I'll be better, I'll be better, Doc, as soon as I am able".

Rocket: I'll give you a scratch soon...

You: Now Rocky Raccoon, he fell back in his room. Only to find Gideon's bible.

Rocket: Once again, who the fuck is Gideon? WHO THE FUCK ARE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE?!

Y/N: Gideon checked out, and he left it no doubt. To help with good Rocky's revival.

Rocket: I hated every minute of that.

Bruce: Yes, yes. That was amazing.

Natasha: Standing ovation worthy.

Y/N: Thank you, thank you. I perform to make people happy.

Thor: So entertaining.

Rocket: You bastard.

Okoye: Gotta love me a free performance, however, where is the tip jar? My black card's gotta go somewhere.

Rocket: I fucking hate you all.

Rocket has left the chat.

Thor: Oh, no rabbit.

Thor: :(

Steve: See, look you made our new friend sad.

Natasha: I doubt that. I just taught him how to use YouTube, now he's humming along to it.

Natasha: Btw Steve. Better student than you.

Steve: I'm gonna go ahead and ignore that.

Steve: Y/N?

Y/N: Hmm?

Steve: What the hell was that?

Y/N: Rocky Raccoon?

Y/N: The Beatles?

Steve: ???

Y/N: You don't know The Beatles?!

Steve: I've heard of them.

Y/N: But you never listened?

Steve: No?

Y/N: DISGUSTING. YOU DIRTY HEATHEN SINNER.

Y/N: You've been in the modern world now for what? Six years? And it never occurred to you once, to listen to The Beatles?!

Y/N: I'm disappointed in you, Steven.

Steve: What?

Natasha: Oh, no. That's so much worse than Steve's disappointment.

Thor: I pity you, Sir Steve.

Bruce: You know you've done something awful if Y/N is disappointed in you.

Okoye: I don't even know who she is, and I know that.

Natasha: Just out of curiosity. Are you ever gonna do that again? Cause I loved that. A lot.

Y/N: Yes. I have one for everybody.

Bruce: Do Tony's. I miss his presence in this chat.

Y/N: Yeah, sure. I have more than one for Tony.

Steve: Wait. Why does Tony get more than one?

Natasha: Someone's jealous they only got a beard in the divorce.

Steve: What?

Bruce: You say that a lot.

Steve: That's because I am in a constant state of confusion, thanks to all of you.

Natasha: You're welcome.

Steve: That wasn't a compliment.

Natasha: But still...

Bruce: No wait. Do Tony's later. I remembered his face, and I need to go cry.

Bruce: Again.

Bruce: Bye.

Bruce has left the chat.

Steve: Poor guy.

Y/N: Speaking of leaving the chat.

Y/N: Steve, piss off, and go listen to The Beatles. Now.

Steve: ... okay.

Steve has left the chat.

Y/N: Thor would you please join him?

Thor: Of course. I am quite excited.

Thor has left the chat.

Y/N: At least he's happy.

Natasha: At the expense of Bruce crying?

Y/N: You win some you lose some.

Y/N: But in all honesty. It turned out better than I originally planned. I would have made you all cry if it meant Thor was happy.

Natasha: I see, and I wholly agree.

Okoye: That man is a giant puppy, and needs to be protected at all costs. If it came to it, I would sacrifice all of you for him in a heartbeat.

Y/N: Omg, thank you for the compliment.

Natasha: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Y/N: I'm gonna go watch Thor be happy now, and force Steve to listen to the best songs.

Y/N: Deuces!

Natasha: Bye, Y/N.

Okoye: Bye.

Y/N has left the chat.

Natasha: That song really made me want some gin, I'm gonna go find some.

Okoye: Oh, count me in!

Natasha has left the chat.

Okoye has left the chat.

Rhodey: You add me to this chat

Rhodey: While I'm passed out after crying over Tony.

Rhodey: An hour I was asleep. AN HOUR!

Rhodey: I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR AN HOUR!

Rhodey: And you do this shit?!

Rhodey has left the chat.

Rhodey has joined the chat.

Rhodey: Also, Y/N would totally kick Rocket's ass.

Rhodey has left the chat.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade has added, Loki.

Wade: Don't act like you're dead you little shit.

Wade has added, Scott.

Wade: Is you Skrull? Is you Loki?

Wade has added, Clint.

Wade: And what the fuck happened to you?

Wade: Oh, no wait! We can't find out till April! Like I can wait that long!

Wade: Bye bitches, see you then. I'm gonna go get ME some gin and tacos, and gorge myself into a food and alcohol-induced coma until April!

Wade has left the chat.

Clint: What was that?

Scott: No clue.

Loki: Your regular local dumbass is my guess.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: NO TALKING UNTIL ENDGAME, HOES!

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Wade: APRIL!

Wade: Also, did you know that the song, Rocky Raccoon, is what inspired the creation of our favourite homicidal furball.

Wade: The more you know, right?

Wade: anyway...

Wade: APRIL!

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[cyanza]

Aonu Chapter Two:

Ugh.

Hunh?!

Wait. What the…?

What happened?

Where am I?

Where’s Zarin?

Why is Azuli passed out?

Why are we laying here in this pond?

Zarin! Where are you?

The last thing I remember we were wading out into the bay to teach Zarin how to swim underwater. He’s always been uncomfortable withwater in spite of being two-thirds Aonu. But he was determinedto do his vision quest by swimming out to spend a solo night on Kermode atoll. He wanted to be like his mother and I, and do the same thing all Aonu do when we each the end of adolescence. Azuli and I have done our best to teach him all the Aonu traditions and culture in spite of being in isolation most of his life. He’s a smart, strong and wonderful kid but has never quite gotten the hang of fishing and swimming. Hunting, orienteering and crafting are more his strong suits. We were just showing him how to use blue snow to slow down his breath and stay underwater. Then suddenlyhis skin started glowing. His eyes rolled back and there was a strange, loud noise. I don’t remember what happened next, but suddenlyhere we are lying in this mountain pond.

How did we get here?

Azuli seems to be breathing, but unconscious.

Where did Zarin go?

When Azuli told me she was going to have a child I was really happy for her. Azuli had always wanted to have a big, close family to make up for us not having one growing up. She spent so much of her life feeling like she was alone in the world, and I’d hoped that even under these strange circumstances this baby would help make her feel a little more content. I’d always hoped for a big family too, but it seems like that ship has sailed – almost literally. My partner and I once talked about having children, but we never got a chance. I had to ship out for a job, and then found out on the way home that my sister needed help. I had to go rescue Azuli before I could ever go back. Leaving my partner behind is one of my greatest regrets, but when your little sister asks for help you don’t question it. You just go, and do whatever it takes. She’s the only family I have left. It’s been justme, Azuli, and Zarin for a while now.

Where the hell is Zarin?

My father, Karrak, was a mariner and made long trips across the sea in his boat, the “Aqoro.” My mother, Tigla, raised me at home. We lived in Kiibo because it was convenient for my father to visit us for a couple days every few weeks. Mother always hated it there. She got along fine with the Okuta, but she missed her Aonu tribe back home. Mother would often try to convince father to move back to Hae’ea, their home village, with uncle Thaelo. But Hae’ea wasn’t a big port, and father’s shipping schedule only went there once every two or three months. To make sure he could see us more often we stayed in Kiibo. When I got old enough father would teach me to swim, sail, and navigate. EventuallyI got to go along with him on some of the shorter trips to nearby Okuta ports, like Mawenzi, and Zira. By the time I was an adolescent I’d decided I too would become a mariner when I grew up. Our family has a long history of sailing the Great Sea, trading with the other races. Despite being slow to swim and sail, I hope Zarin will continue in the family business too. I may not be his father, but he’s still Karrak’s grandson. He has to have some Mariner tendencies in his blood if we can just unlock them. I don’t understand why he reacted like that to the blue snow, though.

What happened to him?

Where the hell is he?

Zarin!?

Okuta men and women are much more equal in social status than the Aiju women, but are not as progressive as we Aonu are used to. Okuta men aren’t used to making non-romantic relationships with women, and Okuta women found my mother’s assertiveness off-putting. She was able to make a few friends, but never very close ones. And as Aonu outisders we were never invited to the Okuta ceremonies and celebrations. It wasn’t that they excluded Aonu. They just never thought to invite us, and it was considered rude to invite oneselves. So mother got very lonely when my father and I were out on the boat for days. She didn’t mind the housework, and never expressed any interest in working on the ship, but she wanted more out of life than occasional chats with the local Okutae. One day she convinced father they should have another child to keep her company. Father was a Yang male, and his business partner and best friend, Malaq, was an Aonu Yin male. One night over drinks the three of them made promises to each other, and decided to have a child together. I’d gotten to know Malaq on the ship, and I had begun to think of him as another uncle - since I rarely saw my Uncle Thalo. Soon, I was going to get a baby sister, and Maraq would become my uncle for real. Azuli was going to be a blessing in more ways than we could have every imagined at that time. I’m so thankful for her. Without Azuli I don’t know how I would’ve made it through what was about to come next.

I hope Azuli is Okay. She’s still breathing. Her eyes are closedbut they’re twitching. What the hell happened to her? What happened to me? What happened to Zarin?

Zarin! Where are you?

Father and Uncle Malaq had justfinished packing up to leave for their next trip when mother cam home from the healers and told them she was pregnant. It was a long journey, to a distant Aiju port – Aegdni. It would be much to dangerous for me to go with them, so I had to stay home to help mother get ready for the new baby. We never saw father again. On the way home from their trip an official Aonu emissary ship stopped them. The officers boarded and gave them an ultimatum: become Aonu privateers, or go to prison and lose the ship. Another war had broken out between Aonu and Aiju in the area, and the Matriarchs forced all Aonu vessels to join the war effort. Knowing he had a child on the way, and faced with losing his ship, father reluctantlyagreed. In exchange for one fourth of the bounty, father and his crew agreed to board any Aiju ship they found in the area. They were to steal its cargo, and give the rest to the Aonu war effort. Several of the more pacifist crewmembers jumped ship the first chance they got, but most stayed. Father and his crew commandeered several Aiju-owned ships and stole their cargo. The first few werefairlyeasy, since they’d been at sea when the war started and were unprepared. After a few days, though, the Aiju crews were ready. Aiju ships began posting double guards, even at night, to try to stave off the privateers. But father’s crew was also getting better at catching them unawares. Some of the crew used blue snow to swim deep under the Aiju ships undetected. Then they would come up on the other side and climb aboard, justas father and the rest of the crew approached. The Aiju would get caught in the middle and couldn't fight both sides at the same time. Father’s crew began to get a reputation and sometimes the Aiju would give up without a fight when they saw his ship. For weeks I would go down to the docks after school to hear any news about how father was doing. Often the dockworkers would tell me an elaborate story about father’s crew. Once they had taken four ships at a time, and another time they captured several dozen Aiju soldiers. They began to call father’s boat “the Aqoro-qami,” after a legendary sea monster. I even heard crazy stories of Aiju sailors washing up on shore, describing giant sea creatures attacking their ships. I didn’t believe all the stories but was happy to hear that father was alive and well. I’d hoped that he was being successful enough that he could come home soon. With baby Azuli coming soon our family would need the bounty he was collecting.

Azuli is starting to move a little and looks like she’s trying to open her eyes.

Azuli! Are you okay?

Karrak and Malaq were a privateers for four months before the Matriarchs gave them permission to see their family. The war was beginning to wind down and there were rumors of a ceasefire. But before they could get home the worst possible thing happened. One night father’s ship was overtaken by an Aiju destroyer disguised as Aonu. The Aiju Warriors of Light had stolen a ship and continued to flythe Aonu flag to catch the privateers by surprise. They captured the crew and burned the Aqoro. The Aiju chained up the Aonu crew in the bottom of the ship, and headed back to Zaiku. They were to become prisoners of war, used as a bargaining chip in negotiations with the Matriarchs. Given Karrak and the Aqoro’s reputation and value to the Aonu war effort it was a huge win for the Aiju side. But father never made it. The next night it got very cold and a huge storm began to brew. The Aiju Warriors of Light were great fighters, but terrible sailors. In the middle of the storm the ship began to toss and turn in the waves. Someone accidentallyleft a porthole open, and a huge wave crashed through, drenching father and his crew. Several of the soaking-wet crewmen and women got very sick, but survived the journey. Karrak wasn’t so lucky. He caught a chill and died shivering the next night. Malaq knew that father would not have wanted to be buriedin Zaiku, and that the Aiju would never allow his body to be shippedhome. So he convinced the Aiju to throw father overboard and give him a burial at sea. Malaq and the rest of the crew spent four months in a Zaiku prison waiting for the war to end. When the ceasefire was finally reached, Malaq was released and came back to tell us what happened. Soon after, Azuli was born.

Azuli is breathing heavilynow, and twitching. Her eyes justshot wide open and are glowing pink.

Azuli! Are you OK?

Malaq was still very sick when he came back from the war, and never recovered enough to go back to sailing. The Okuta healers knew very little about the kind of lung diseases you get from nearly drowning and freezing to death. By the time he got to see a traveling Aonu healer the damage was done and there was little she could do to help. Malaq died four years later after a long, slow decline. It devastated mother to lose yet another partner, and she was depressedfor a very long time. She used to spend most of her time at the Kiibo tavern, drinking away her sorrows. That’s where she met another Aonu mariner who promised he’d love her, and take her with him. I was nearlyan adult, and mother couldn’t stand living in Kiibo any longer. Her new partner didn’t want us kids along on his ship, so mother left me to finish my schooling and take care of Azuli. As an Aonu adolescent in an foreign Okuta city, without a family to support me, and a four-year-old sister to raise, I did my best to survive. I worked odd jobs in the evenings, and Azuli made deliveries and ran errands for people during the day. Every night I would come home and teach her to read and write. She took to learning like a fish to water. Whenever she wasn’t making deliveries she was reading books from the Kiibo archives. She started school just as I graduated and was able to work more to support us. Azuli accelerated through the Kiibo school faster than anyone, and was only a few years away from graduating when I signed up to be on the crew of an Aonu trading vessel. The Inikae, was a lot like our father’s ship, and made a lot of the same trips. I impressed the captain with my navigation skills, so when I said Azuli needed to come along he agreed - as long as she stayed out of the way. She wouldn’t eat much and could help clean. After four years we got a better commission on another ship, fishing for purple tuna. I was the navigator, and Azuli showed a knack for reading the star charts with me. She was also a good climber, so she worked a lot of shifts up in the crow’s-nest spotting pods of dangerous leviathan. We sold our purple tuna all over the world. The port cities we visited were full of a diverse range of people from other races, so we began to learn about their cultures and languages. Azuli learned much faster than me, and it was no surprise when she told me she wanted to become a language teacher. She knew Okuta, Aiju, and Qexaal better than anyone I’ve ever met. On her 16th birthday we dropped her off at Hae’ea University and wished her luck. Not that she needed it. Azuli has always been one of the smartest, most talented people I’ve ever known, and she’s good at anything she decides to be good at.

I hope Azuli is ok. The strange glow in her eyes is fading, and they're slowly turning back to aqua again. She’s starting to gasp for breath, and staring right through me. What happened to her? What happened to Zarin?

Zarin!!

Azuli did really well at Hae’ea University and excelled in all her classes, but especially in linguistics and cultural studies. By her fourth year she knew more about Okutaculture and Qexaal language than her two exchange student roommates from Zira and Ytza. She made close friends with lots of her fellow students but was shy most of the time. It was the first time in her life she was among his people her own age. Until then her only friends were a bunch of sailors and fisherman. Eventually though she learned Hae’ea Universityculture just like the foreign ones she was studying, and became less awkward. She made friends with quite a few male Aonu students, but most of them thought she was too weird and nerdy to be datable. But then there was Qawa. Qawa was an older student, my age, who studied marine ecology. He recognized Azuli’s talent and intelligence, and wasn’t turned off by her social awkwardness. They hit it off immediately and began dating. They were together nearly all of her fourth year, but right before graduation some of the professors pressured Qawa into breaking it off. They thought he was too old for her. Azuli was devastated. After graduating they both got jobs teaching in their fields, but at different schools. Azuli went to teach at AegdniAcademy and Qawa to the Ytza Institute. After four months Qawa visited Azuli and they spent a romantic weekend together. When he left her, he said he loved her, but they could never be together. He needed to focus on his new job in Ytza. It really broke Azuli’s heart and she was so sad she could barely teach the next week. One of her Aiju coworkers, Mikado, noticed she was depressed. He’d secretly wanted Azuli, and saw his opportunity to make his move. He invited her for drinks with the pretense of chatting and consoling her. Instead he gave her too much, and when she got too drunk to say no, he took advantage. In the morning she ran out, yelling that she never wanted to talk to him again. A week later she knew something was wrong. She wasn’t just upset, she felt like she was actually sick. The Aegdni healers did lots of tests, but couldn’t find anything unusually wrong. Then they told her she was pregnant. She didn’t know how it was possible, but somehow she was carrying the hybrid baby of Qawa and Mikado. That’s how we got Zarin.

Where the hell is Zarin? Zarin!!!

Aonu-Aiju mixed children are very rare. Most Aonu and Aiju can’t get along well enough to even eat a meal together, much less have a baby. And the probability of an Aiju and a Yin Aonu male impregnating a female Aonu within 4-8 days is incredibly low. Zarin was one in a quadrillion. Most hybrids end up with a combination of the traits of both races. All hybrids end up smaller than average, and look much younger than children the same age. Zarin has golden-orange hair, pinkish gray skin, and bright aqua eyes. Even though he’s nearly 16, he’s about as tall as I was at 8, and looks like he’s no more than 12. Before Azuli and I took him to live on a remote island by ourselves, Zarin had a hard time with people always talking down to him. Everyone always assumed he was much younger than he is. 

Zarin’s small enough, that I completely missed seeing him at the top of that distant hill. He must’ve climbed up to figure out where we are. It’s probably too windy up there for him to even hear me. 

Zarin can you hear me?!?

When Aegdni Academy found out Azuli was pregnant with an Aonu-Aiju hybrid child they were furious. Aiju conservatism had lightened up enough to allow teachers and students from other races at the school, but the idea of an Aonu professor having a hybrid child was out of the question. They immediately fired Azuli right in the middle of the semester, and hired an Aiju to replace her. Azuli tried to explain that it was Mikado’s fault, but they didn’t believe her. Azuli was left with no job, little money, and a tarnished reputation. And a hybrid child that was not likely to be excepted when he was born. She used the last of her money for passage to Hae’ea, where she new I kept an apartment near the port. I’d been staying there in-between fishing trips occasionally. I came home to find a very pregnant sister on the floor in tears. I did my best to take care of her, but I didn’t have much money either. And I had to tell my captain I was too sick to sail the last week of her pregnancy because she couldn’t get out of bed. 

Azuli could barely move then and is barely moving now. I don’t understand why she isn’t waking up.

Azuli! Wake up!! Are you ok?

When Zarin was finally born, we were overjoyed, until we saw that he didn’t look Aonu. He had Azuli’s bright aqua eyes and his nose and chin looked like hers, but his skin was definitely not in the same color. The doulas gave us strange looks but never said anything. It’s not uncommon for Aonu mothers to give birth without either of the fathers there. The Yin males usually aren’t invited, and the Yang males are often at sea. Hybrid Aonu children happen occasionally, but usually in large cities where the four races intermingle more. But it was obvious that Zarin was not Okuta - his skin wasn’t rough or amber-brown. And there was no way he was Qexaal- he lacked the silvery violet feathers. When Zarin’s bright orange hair started coming in we knew we were in for trouble. His orange hair and pinkish skin make him stand out against the sky up there. It’s a good thing, too, or I might not have seen him. We Aonu tend to blend in with the sky a bit.

Zarin! Can you hear me! Something’s wrong with Azuli! Come back and help us!

Aonu culture is very liberal and excepting of others. We generally get along well with two of the other three races, and only the most conservative Aonu would think anything strange about having a mixed-race child. There have been Aonu-Qexaaland Aonu-Okuta counselors and matriarchs. Counselor Yanza was nearly elected to the Tetrarchy. Most Aonu islands have a few hybrids, and in the largest archipelago villages, about 4% of the population is mixed-race. The issue with Zarin was that he was 1/3 Aiju, and looked it. That’s why we moved to a tiny remote island to raise him.

[madmurph-blog1]

Fleeting Moments

Before you read: This short story contains some tough subject matter regarding LGBTQ+ and suicide. Suicide is never the answer there is always something to look forward to, if you are feeling suicidal or that you have thoughts of ending your life please call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255,

There are moments in our lives that shine like beacons in the dark mist of our pasts. The brightest beacons aren’t usually happy moments we like to recount, but they always tend to pop-up when we least expect them. When I was younger my parents would warn me about ‘monsters’ that hunt at night and that I should never venture out in the dark. Yet, I found solace standing under a full moon at its peak while the cool air wrapped around, gently caressing me and erasing all my woes. I always felt most alive in those fleeting moments, I even thought that maybe I was a monster too. ~~~~ The first time I ever felt free and that the cruel senseless world that I was in couldn’t capture me was when I set eyes on Her in middle school. I didn’t realize at the time what I felt was so wrong. I saw Her in the hallway of Eastern Middle. The packed hallways were filled with anxious sweaty prepubescent teens rushing to fifth period. The buzz of chatter filled the dank florescent lit halls as bustling bodies blurred and all I could see was her covered in a halo of light. Her dark auburn-chestnut hair, her fair ivory skin kissed with light freckles, all seemed to standout in the crowd. Time seemed to slow as I drew closer to Her. I could see the rosy flush on her cheeks, the faint pink on her plush lips. She turned pushing her wavy hair behind her diamond pierced ears. Our eyes met and her crystal blue eyes took my breath away, they looked like gems that could see through my soul. She tilted her head and faintly smiled sideways embarrassingly. The smile that reached her eyes twinkled from under her heavy mascara coated lashes. We passed by each other and when I turned around she had vanished into the sea of people. I stood still, the waves parted around me as I grasped at my chest, heart racing; I dared not move in case it would explode. I’d never felt such sensation before in the twelve years that I had been alive. I took a deep breath and continued towards class not thinking about anything else but her beautiful oval face. It was later in the week that I saw her again in the cafeteria sitting at a table by herself. I took a deep breath and hoped I wouldn’t faint. I looked around and noticed that we were of a few kids in the cafeteria, most of the other lunch-goers were outside eating and talking away. I got to the long gray rectangular table and took another deep breath and somehow managed to say “Hi…um…Can I sit with you?” “Sure.” She looked up surprised but smiled and gestured to the seat across from her. I noticed her nails which had small panda faces on them and giggled to myself. Gosh I loved pandas. I sat down across and smiled at her. “Why are you laughing?” she asked. “Oh! Sorry…um I really like pandas and seeing your nails I just got really happy.” I blushed and pulled my tray closer to me on the table. “Oh thanks. My older sister did it. I like pandas too. They are my favorite animal. Oh um, by the way I’m Ellie, well my name is Elisabeth but I feel that it’s an old person’s name so I prefer Ellie. What’s your name?” She happily chimed as she put out her hand for me to shake. “I’m Kat. Just…just Kat nothing pretty like Elisabeth,” I shyly shook her hand “sorry if I am bugging you I just saw you a few days ago and thought you were beautiful and wanted to talk to you.” I looked up from her hand and blood rushed to my face I didn’t mean to say all that. Her face matched mine and we both looked away giggling embarrassingly to escape the awkwardness. “I am so sorry. I will go.” As I grabbed my untouched tray to leave with my tail between my legs. She grabbed my tray. “It’s okay. I thought you were pretty too when we passed by in the hallway a few days ago. I’m even happier that you came to sit with me.” She tilted her head and smiled just like the first time I ever saw her. I learned what love was in that moment. Looking back at that time I realize how carefree we were. We didn’t know what bisexual or lesbian or even gay meant. We started spending more time together and would meet up after school. We would even have sleepovers and just talk about our families and our siblings and even about what was on the news. She was the middle child and had one older sister and a younger brother. Her mom was dating this highly religious guy that she met at church. She loved animals and reading Victorian novels like those from Bronte and Jane Austin. She even told me one night when I was over at her house that she wanted to be an English teacher overseas. She loved the idea of traveling. Weeks to months and then to years went by and we were inseparable. We dated guys and things never worked out and always broke up after a little while because things just didn’t ‘work’, it wasn’t that we weren’t attracted to guys it was more like we didn’t want to be separated. ~ The summer before our Freshman year of High school we were sitting on her back porch basking in the hot early-July sun next to her pool. She had on a two-piece swimsuit that was a wave of pastels and that had large silver hoop in the middle that showcased the hollow between her breasts. I noticed that over the last two and a half years that our bodies had both really changed. We both became more woman-like, Ellie however, had a slim waist that expanded out to wide curvy hips and toned thighs that touched ever so slightly as she laid on the beach towel. Her breasts were smaller than mine but were still larger than some of the other girls we had last seen before middle school graduation. Her skin wasn’t a fair ivory anymore it had become a golden light brown from us laying out in the sun every day, mine however was still pale and was a light pink from all the sun. I looked down at my swimsuit which were swimming shorts and a tank top-like swimming suit; I didn’t have the smooth thin body like Ellie. I had become slightly chubby, my hips got wider, my chest bigger and bigger than everyone’s. Yet, she told me it would be a shame to wear boy swim trunks and a baggy t-shirt when it was just us. “You know what! I’m going for swim.” She jumped up suddenly and caused me to flinch back and act like I wasn’t stealing glances at her. She sashayed towards the stairs and slowly but elegantly stepped down without causing any huge waves in the water. Once she got to the four-foot depth she turned around and leaned back and pushed off and floated on the water, her hair which came down to the middle of her back looked almost black in the faint blue of the water. She looked like a nymph floating in the water. “Kat! Come in its at that temperature where you don’t have to jump right in and freeze it’s at the perfect temp!” She swam towards the edge closest to me and splashed water at me trying to get me wet but it didn’t quite reach. Her hair stuck to her face and clung to her chest as she pushed herself up on the ledge begging me to join her. “Ugh fine. I guess I might as swim since tanning is impossible for unlike someone.” I turned and jokingly glared at her as I slowly walking towards the stairs, and joined her in the middle of the pool. As I waded towards her she smiled and splashed me giggling “Took ya long enough.” I rolled my eyes laughing. I dove into the water and swam past her yanking on her feet pulling her under the water. As we both came up, we busted out laughing, hair in our faces, splashing each other and goofing off. We spent the next hour just playing and finally decided to sit on the bottom step and shoulders bumping into each other, sitting quietly until she broke the silence. “Did you see the news last night? The part about Vermont recognizing gay couples as a legal union?” She matter-of-factly mentioned. She stared up at the sky which was clear and unclouded like her eyes. “Kind of, my mom turned off the TV before I could finish listening to. She started yelling at the TV saying, ‘Fags all burn in hell. They’re monsters who deserve the death penalty. ’ She’s extreme.” I stared upward towards the sky hoping to see whatever had caught her attention. “That’s a little more than extreme, Kat.” She turned towards me and there was this sadness in her eyes that may have been directed towards me. “It is. I just let her rant. I don’t believe that God is that maleficent towards people that are different but I can’t mention that to my mom or she’d probably hit me and disown me. I think people should be able to love whoever they happen to fall for. Hell, we all need love in this crazy world.” I half-heartedly smiled at her and continued “Like if it doesn’t directly harm or affect you why would it matter? You’ve met my mom, she’s sweet around guests but is different with me especially since dad is never around or too drunk to care. How did your family react?” “Less dramatic as yours but they were still upset. ‘Hate the sin not the sinner’ they said and then snuffed and talked about how the world is ending and blah, blah, blah.” Ellie didn’t seem to want to continue but she seemed sad almost. “Welcome to the Bible belt.” I sneered. I looked up again at the sky and the sun had started to creep towards the West and the sky was changing colors. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered, “I have something to mention.” She was fiddling with her fingers and then looked up at me eyes wide and curious. “I like you.” I kept looking up at the sky watching planes streaking the sky. She was quiet. “I like you too.” She softly added looking at the sky with me. I sighed, I didn’t think she understood. “No, like,” I couldn’t form the right words, “I think I’m what they call bisexual and I’ve been in love with you since sixth grade. I probably wouldn’t have said anything but you mentioned what happened in Vermont and I guess I felt I could mention it even if it would make you hate me.” I rambled on and closed my eyes, took a depth breath and looked at her opening myself to her, waiting. “Well…this is awkward.” Ellie lightly but awkwardly laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Sorry…I’ll um… leave.” I hastily got up and when to turn to walk up the stair and she grabbed my arm yanking me back. I slipped on the edge of the stair and fell into the water, I sat on my knees after coming up coughing, pushing my hair out of my face. Suddenly, I felt her water-wrinkled hands against my cheeks and before I could open my eyes to try and see through my blurred vision her lips were on mine. Our teeth clashed at first but she didn’t let go. I felt a tingle in my gut and instinctively leaned in and grabbed at her waist and tried to pull her closer. She opened her mouth, I opened mine and our tongues clumsily explored each other. After what felt like a life time she leaned her head against mine and we both sighed. “Stupid.” She whispered. I couldn’t help it and busted out laughing. “Well then, I didn’t expect that.” Laughing I stated matter-of-factly. ~ We moved from just friends to secretly dating, even though we knew that what we were doing was wrong. We started spending more time at each other’s houses and thankfully, our parents couldn’t tell that anything had changed. We were normal during the day but became ‘monsters’ at night when we were alone. There were even times when we would sneak out at night and just walk to the central park that was only a mile away from her house and about two miles from mine. We would climb to the top of the swirling slide and hide between the green plastic walls that shielded up from any passersby. We could finally stop hiding when we were there, it was like we were small children with our own fort, we didn’t have to pretend and could be a couple under the protective moon. When it was still warm we would make-out and explore each other while hidden away in the dead of night, yet, once it got cold we had to be more careful and stay indoors. The moments with her were the brightest beacons in my dark life. I had multiple sketches of her face and body hidden away under my bed that I dared not show to anyone but her. Yet, the more time I spent with her, intimately, the more of a monster I felt. Mom had gotten worse in her anti-gay preaches that she spewed once she got home from her job, she would yell and go off on tangents about how if her own child was a fag she would kill it because she wouldn’t be known to have brought an atrocious ‘Fag’ into this world. When Ellie wasn’t with me, I would lay on my bed listening to Train or Pink looking at my ceiling contemplating whether I was truly a monster or not. As time passed it got harder and harder to stand my own reflection. Every time I looked in the mirror and saw my wavy strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes, all I saw was an abomination that shouldn’t exist. Yet, I loved her and I couldn’t change that. I didn’t want to change that because being with her felt right. However, I had this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, I didn’t know if it was my anxiety or depression but I was always uneasy someone would find out. ~ After a year of dating Ellie and I got comfortable with staying over at each other’s houses and had gotten good at hiding our relationship, no one suspected anything. Ellie was over at my house and we ate dinner and told my mom that we were going to my room. “Sure sweety, have fun you two.” Mom smiled a creepy fake smile and turned back around to finish the dishes. I could tell she wanted to go off on Dad about him drinking heavily with a guest in the house or it could’ve been about the trash not being taken out but she held it end so the company wouldn’t know how she felt or about her fits of rage. We walked out of the open part-kitchen part-dining room and turned around the corner to held towards my room at the end of the all. Ignoring the empty walls void of any photos we came to my white door which didn’t seem to lead anywhere but once opened it gave way to what seemed like an art gallery. My painting and sketches covered all of three walls while one wall had only book cover posters. There wasn’t an inch of wall that was visible, expect the wall behind the headboard of my bed which was pushed into the corner across from the door. As Ellie came into the room, I closed the door and jumped on my bed landing on my stomach. “Ugh, I’m so tired.” I spoke softly incase my mom was listening. “Not too tired I hope?” Ellie climbed onto bed next to me propping up on her elbow. She reached over and pushed my hair behind my ear. I leaned into her hand and closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m not physically tired, just emotionally. Maybe someone can make me feel better?” I grinned at her and pushed myself up to lean over and lightly kiss her soft gloss covered lips. “Feeling better already.” I turned towards her and propping on my elbow, like her, waiting to see what she would do next. “Geez, you’re so smooth. Where did this sly Kat come from!?” Ellie huffed but smiled back at me. “Oh! Music.” She climbed over me and off the bed to turn on my mini boombox that sat on my dresser facing us. She turned it on and put on a Pink CD that I had sitting next to the box and hit play. She then turned towards me and with a sly smile on her face she slowly walked towards me and pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me. I was taken back by how bold she was being, it was usually me that was the aggressor when it came to things like this. We kissed and became entangled in each other, Ellie sat up suddenly and yanked her pink hoodie off over her head and threw it on the floor. She yanked at my baggy t-shirt and when I sat up a little she yanked that off as well. We became enamored with each other’s bodies and were caught up in the moment because nothing matter than becoming closer to each other. We didn’t realize that my mom had come into the until we heard the shatter of glass. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Mom’s face was mortified and seething with rage. Horrified Ellie and I couldn’t say anything. I snapped out of the shock and sat of straight pushing Ellie behind me and as clear as I could, although I was shaking, I said “Mom. We are dating, we’ve been dating for a little over a year now. I love Ellie.” Mom was dumbstruck and couldn’t form any thought for a second so I grabbed Ellie’s hoodie and my shirt and we quickly put them back on. Mom walked out of my room not saying anything. “Well I guess it could’ve been worse. We could’ve been completely naked.” Ellie light joked although she was shaking. I don’t know why but I grabbed her stuff and handed it to her. I turned off the boombox and looked at Ellie. “I need you to leave now. I’ve got a bed feeling. Please.” I grabbed her and kissed her once again on the lips. As I pushed her towards my window that was nestled behind my dresser, I heard mom rustling through drawers in her room a door down frantically yelling “Where is it!?” It got quiet and I ran to the window and threw it open and whispered to Ellie to “Go!” She ran to the window and as she started to climb out Mom came rushing back pointing a gun at us. “I said that I would kill any child of mine if they were a filthy fag! How! How could I give birth to such a disgusting demon!? YOU AREN’T MY DAUGHTER!!” Her voice got louder until she was screaming and she raised the gun and fired. I pushed Ellie out the window and tried to block the view from her, so she could get away. My mom, tears streaming down her face held the gun in her shaking hands. She looked like feral, her body tensed and her eyes were budging. “Mom. Please, I’m still your daughter. I’m the same person.” I put my hands out gesturing to her to put the gun down. “Please mom, put the gun down.” She started to lower the gun and looked around my room. “I’m going to call Ellie’s mom and tell her what I saw. But, I don’t have a daughter anymore. I want you gone. If only you died instead of your brother.” After the last sentence, she turned around and walked out, I collapsed onto the floor sobbing and clutching my chest. I don’t know if it was from almost being killed or the what she said last but I didn’t want to live anymore after that. ~~~ A month had gone by since Kat was kicked out and Ellie had been forced to leave. Kat had hitched some rides to different cities but she didn’t have a destination in mind, just anywhere was fine. She had gotten better at figuring out who was good for a ride and who wasn’t. She had already learned of the true monsters at night, they had made her do things she didn’t want to do but she felt that it was retribution for her sins. She just zoned out and looked at the beacons in the darkness which were what got her through the nights. She no longer found solace under the moon and the night sky but felt trapped and lonely. The cool air that once caressed her now strangled her with its iciness. She had gotten a ride from an older man one night to a shelter in the town she was in but instead of the shelter he just had his way with her and then threw her out on some curb when he was done; not caring at all that he raped and beat some young girl, he just tossed some cash out at her and sped off. She didn’t care anymore about what happened to her, her body was no longer hers. She grabbed the money and started walking. Kat came to a seven-eleven and searched for anything to end her misery. She grabbed a water bottle, three small bottles of Excedrin that were in the strongest dose she could find and walked to the check out. The cashier who had a sunken in face with oily olive toned skin and a buzzed haircut just stared at her. “Is that all?” He asked uncaringly. “Yeah.” Kat whispered. “That’s a lot of Excedrin.” He pointed out in a matter of fact tone. “And?” Kat looked him in the eyes, her eyes seemed so dead that the cashier didn’t bother to mention anything else about what she was buying. He placed all the items in a bag and handed it to her. She didn’t bother to get her change and just walked out after paying. She walked into an alleyway and sat down. She opened her water bottle and the bottles of medicine and swallowed a handful at a time until there was nothing left for her to take. She then laid down curled into a ball and went to sleep. She didn’t feel any pain but as she ventured into sleep she saw a light in the distance and began to slowly walk towards it. It was warm and she felt at peace looking at the light. As she got closer she could see the outline of a girl just slightly shorter than her, who was thin but had curvy hips and long dark hair. She started to speed up to figure out who that girl was and once she stepped into the light she was back in Ellie’s room. Ellie laying next to her and just smiling. “I’ve missed you.” She whispered. Kat couldn’t help but start crying and grabbed Ellie’s face and kiss her. “I missed you too” Kat said softly.

 The End