#“i genuinely cannot think of anything funny”

[nekropsii]

okay i want to hear your opinion on this. out of all the alpha trolls, which one do you think sucks the Worst and which one do you think sucks the least. genuinely curious

Difficult and Vague Question. Could be answered in a whole number of ways. Part of the difficulty in finding an angle in it is that Morality is highly subjective, and also some of the shit the Alpha Trolls get up to is so reprehensible it's astounding. I'm choosing a combined angle of "Worst/Least Difficult to Survive a Conversation with", and "Worst/Least Sucks Traits + Actions". This is because, for the most part, the male Alpha Trolls are generally intended to be Spineless Intolerable Misogynistic Morally Bankrupt Sex Offenders, and the female Alpha Trolls are, for the most part, Chilling.

If someone has an answer for the first question that isn't "Cronus", and that answer doesn't start with "Aside from Cronus", Stop Listening To Them. That's the point of his character. He's a Serial Child Predator, an unrepentant Sex Offender, and a Turbo-Bigot who wants to kill people for being Minorities, he's the correct answer. As far as an answer that excludes Cronus goes, the answer necessarily has to be one of the men, sans Mituna... But really, it depends on what crimes you personally can stand less that day, or which kind of guy you specifically have more trauma about. Lol. Cronus, Rufioh, Kankri, Horuss, and Kurloz are all insanely evil men in different ways. Make them coworkers at a shitty failing pub, and you'll have a sitcom for the ages.

The people who suck the least are the Women without contest, minus Meenah, and nuance for Damara.

Last bit there is probably somewhat Controversial, but, like. Damara's perfectly nice if you're not an Alpha Troll, but deservedly an utter bastard hellion if she is with them. I don't approve of her methods, but I do approve of her torturing them. We see her interact with people who are not the Alpha Trolls, and she's plenty nice to them. Makes sense, considering she was mentally broken into acting like that by other members of her team repeatedly gaslighting and victimizing her for years, rather than her just having always been Like That. Meenah is impulsive to the point of crimes happening regularly and seemingly cannot stop herself from pursuing children. Meenah's the person your Intrusive Thoughts convince you you would be if you didn't have a crippling Anxiety Disorder to "keep you in check". She's the main female exception to the rule of "The Women are Chilling and the Men are Insane Criminal Perverts". Diversity Win..?

Porrim's just a Feminist and is pretty normal, though her Social Position shows. She tends to be the default pick for "Most Normal", but since she's a woman written by Hussie, she still has some sucks traits. Latula's got issues managing her combined Mental Health problems and her insane case of Internalized Misogyny, both of which Porrim seems to be trying to help her out with. Porrim also seems to be succeeding at helping her. Good for them! Aranea might've done all of that, but she was a preventable disaster. I don't think any of that would've happened if people just listened to her for once. She had to pay her own best friend to listen to her, and even then she didn't do it. Meulin is a bit sucks, but a lot of that has to do with her main Character Traits being "Annoying Fangirl" and "Fujoshi". Even with those in mind, these aren't crimes, especially not ones of the same caliber as Cronus', and she's really funny about both things anyway. Also, she's quite passionate about Disability, particularly Deafness. As a Hearing Disabled person myself, I like this about her, so she can do anything.

My personal ranking is... Cronus is the Worst both of the men and in general, Meenah's the worst of the Women. Porrim, Meulin, and Latula are the least sucks women and likely the least sucks people in the whole cast, and Mituna is the least sucks man.

[foggygauntlet]

I have tried to think why I cannot think of Gaston and lefou happily together, and I think it comes down to that Gaston is just a bad person who has so much power over lefou and lefou is practically defencesless against him, in both brains and strength. He manipulates and abuses lefous friendship (as well as the rest of the town) for his gain because they think he's cool. Also Gaston is just a terrible person, and lefou isn't really (at least, not to Gaston point). He shows some level of sympathy and humanity towards others sometimes, but his major flaw is idolising Gaston, so much that he will follow his with everything he does, which makes him more susceptible to manipulation (like the rest of the town). It's just really toxic and I feel icky thinking about it. (If all of Gaston haters are dead then so am I fyi) They are on just too different positions and there is such a big power difference and Gaston has and will take advantage of that. Also I can't for the life of me ever imagining Gaston being in love with anyone other than himself.

BUT believe it or not, stone and robotnik don't really have that much of a power difference (at least, not by the end of their relationship) and they are both truly evil (also side note it's also a different evil than Gaston. Like, Its genuinely funny with someone who does bad things that inconveniences the goverment or money related crimes or killing people in a goofy manner, not a misogynistic incel who cant take no for an answer) We just never get to see stones evil side because whenever he's always around robotnik he always making puppy dog eyes (Like when in the book he killed a customer who was slightly rude and impatient by breaking his neck at the mean bean lol) Sure, he does idolise robotnik, especially at the start, but he also has a genuine relationship with him, being with him for more that 8 years professionally before s1 and domestically living with him in s3, seeing robontik at his worst. Robotnik is genuine and authentic with stone in the crab as well, its not like they are trying to be someone for their gain. His idolisation never makes him susceptible to manipulation though he is just willingly like that and manipulates for his own advantage too (pre s2 comic he essentially tacticalky kills and fires a bunch of people and ruin their lives to makes himself the boss of this coffee shop so he can make a place for robotniks shit without any suspicion WHILST being a target of gun (I'm not sure if this is correct BUT I know that he uses a fake name and I'd to get the job and Its known that in the knuckles series that gun is trying to kill and erase anyone who has relations with robotnik but that's post s2 so idk) ALSO about the power imbalance, they both seem to be incredibly capable of defending themselves  mentally and physically. Like, in s1 robotnik essentially throws a large guy out a windows, and how stone was able to do all that shit whilst riding a motorbike in s3. Stone is canonically smarter than robotnik (at least iq wise) and is incredible at manipulating people also (take the pre s2 comic (I forgot what its called) for instance). Robotnik grew up in an orphanage ad a gifted child, he was (probably) praised alot as a child but simultaneously craves a family bond. (Side note here more of a hc than anything but gun def did some shit to robotnik after the shadow explosion, like idk maybe they monitored robotnik constantly as a child and used his smarts for their gain, but I don't really know. But they they call robotnik lab rat in s1 so take that and do with it as you please) Also nothing is forcing stone to stay with robontik, he litterally could've let him die and live a grand life or left him in s2 and robotnik wouldn't be able to come back. Stobotnik is essentially just two equally fucked up people being fucked up with each other.

I'm wondering...

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

i love phannies because we’re all so fucking funny on social media like i scroll through the tags thinking “what a bunch of comedic geniuses we’ve got here” but i know for a fact that at the end of the day we’re anxious little pissbabies whose minds go blank the second someone irl asks us to come up with something funny/tell a joke on the spot and honestly? slay of us

[just-another-colin-kinnie]

Zane’s greatest fear is losing his humanity And they did That to him in the movie

[light-wrath-paradise]

Animorphs Book club book 8

My reaction can be summarised as this (yet again):

I don't have many thoughts because uh. That was depressing as hell and I need to stare at a wall.

But I DO gotta say that the subplot with the dead "wife" was so telenovela-esque that for a good minute it was more funny than depressing. Then it got depressing. But it was so jarring and so far out of the left field that for a good second my friend and I had to pause the audiobook and laugh because ????????? Unhinged to just appear, go "I am Eslin, I have a G U N. My secret wife was killed. By my boss. Now I yearn for sweet sweet revenge." and not elaborate. Like. Damn dude ok. Sorry about our wife also. Fucking killed me that he continued like "So anyway I reacted adequately by killing all of my boss' friends. Starvation style." Like ???? Jjhsgdjsdfghsjdfh what????? I mean damn I do respect the grind set but also that's such an absurd escalation out of context. Did your boss kill your wife? Kill all of his friends! And in context the most absurd part is probably the notion that Visser 3 has friends??????? Like??? Wait no Eslin. Eslin wait. I love your John Wick-esque "fridged wife" trope swag but you need to slow down. I need details. I need you to tell me HOW your boss even has friends.

In my heart I do not believe we will see that madman ever again but on god I do wish for an insane telenovela-esque sequence of him just showing up at the most random moment to do exactly one thing and that's to pull a gun on Visser 3. For no reason, I just think it would be kinda funny. Like,,,did your boss kill your wife?:

Kill all of his friends

Acquire a G U N

Attempt to make the local Andalite youth assassinate your boss for you

Pull the gun on your boss

???????

Profit (probably die)

Aside from that, I also need to say that the moment when Ax called Tobias his close friend at the end was so sweet. Also ngl kinda...concerning/harrowing how much Tobias really doesn't give a shit about not being a human. Like it doesn't seem so concerning from other points of view but the way Ax gets increasingly weirded out by Tobias not asking him about the nothlit (idk if I'm spelling that right rn) really reminds you that it IS kinda worrying. Like I get it, I mean...Tobias has no family that cares about him, he has no friends outside of the Animorphs friend group, why would he care? But it's still kinda...yeah.

Also unimaginably surprised by the amount of collective guilt present in the Andalite society. You'd think they're Catholic or something the way they keep beating themselves up and force everyone to also beat themselves up and their system itself is saturated with the guilt and shame and they teach it to kids at school from an early age. Like. Jesus Christ calm down. Stop that. As the Animorphs said at the end of the book - the Andalites made an oopsie once. It sucked, yes, it continues to have consequences that suck, yes, but it happens. Sometimes you think you're doing something kind and it turns into a disaster. That does not mean you should beat yourself up for it or, god forbid, tell other people that they should not be kind lest they make a mistake. Damn I guess we should all be cold assholes forever, huh? I'm sure that can't have any negative consequences.

Andalite society in general seems kinda unhinged. Like...do I get why it is like that? Yeah. But do I find it unhinged? Also yeah. Like ok duty and the collective being the most important things is totally sensible for a prey animal. Safety of the herd and all that. But it's still kinda unhinged that they do make everyone have duty as their number 1 priority and that they have rituals devoted to it. Not all rituals are spiritual or religious in nature, but the morning ritual is kinda...borderline religious in a way. More spiritual than religious, I suppose, but yeah.

Also I love Ax so much. 10/10 character. He has it all: an incredibly hilarious desire for cinnamon buns, the inability to act like a human being (same dude), spitting random facts at completely random times, a thirst for blood only a 13(?) years old could have, a dysfunctional obsession with duty and doing what is right that only a 13(?) years old could have (also lol yeah dude I was like that when I was 13 too. dw you'll grow out of it), he can even code. And he might even be bi (I'm joking but I' referring to the fact that he was like "Yeah so when I morph into a human form I suddenly agree that Rachel is beautiful and that Marco is cute.").

[mokeonn]

Honestly, having multiple older customers at my job encourage me to vote by telling me that "it's between freedom (trump) or socialism (harris)" or some other "vote trump" talking point has genuinely encouraged me to vote far more than any "vote blue" posts on this hellsite ever have. Like fuck yeah I'll vote for socialism cheers comrade

[peeledorangesandscurvy]

how do i say "in a universe where chen and cyrus become friends and cyrus Doesnt kill him for the autopsy pics, they would be fuck buddies" without sounding insane

[foxcassius]

and to extrapolate on the tags i just left. thats the beauty of a relationship. jake is super into cars and bikes and i didnt know (and really still dont much know) jack shit about them before i met him. but he likes them! and he will explain in laymans terms what the deal is with them. so ive become casually interested too and i enjoy going to car and motorcycle events now because i have offered curiosity and he has met it with teaching and he continues to do so. when we are at a car event i always ask a billion questions and he does his best to answer them. and he didnt know anything about japanese myths or religion before meeting me but when i bring it up he asks me questions so i explain the stories. and when we stop at shrines i point out imagery and extrapolate on prolific gods and re-explain (generally accepted, it sort of depends who you ask) shrine ettiquette to him and he enjoys going to shrines and temples and will point out where they are along the way of wherever we're going for the day. you have to try to care about your partner's interests and when they show curiosity about yours you have to actually patiently explain it. which sounds so basic but people still get this shit wrong

[iamthemaestro]

how can I have so many ideas but also NO IDEAS

[neims-skeleton-obsession]

im laughing so fucking hard like. im trying to draw pre skeleton'd skug and i cannot. i just cant. my brain isnt letting me this is so funny /gen

[dreadfuldevotee]

i am just...so profoundly tired of being me

[ploverbear]

got this weird thing always where im always wondering if im a gay man or a bi dude-kinda or a bi girl-a-little-bit or a gay man-also-woman-a-bit, and its like. whenever im like "OKAYY I DONT CAREEEEE MAYBE I DO LIKE GIRLS" .... IMMEDIATELY my thoughts about liking women are gone like. when im trying to appease that. and then im like "hmm maybe i DONT like girls??" the thoughts about liking girls comes back

[slimyenemy]

no i'm not mad at you ever i'm freaking dead just fucking chill already😭

[faetealights]

im gonna say something (admit) and no one can Say a Fucking Word Alright.

[tohruies]

a realisation that home was here. home was now. and it had been all along … 🥺💘

— ☆ 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒

alhaitham x ryu. this is obviously a selfship piece for ryuhaitham and it’s in first person. canon au. comfort. fluff. read here if you want more context on us. 0.7k wc

I sat curled on the couch with a blanket drawn tightly around me, staring at the modest decorations I’d strung up days ago when Alhaitham first left for Akademiya business. The lights, the strings of ribbon—they felt out of place here, like foreign embellishments in a world that had no meaning for them.

Christmas. Once upon a time, it had been everywhere—woven into every light, every note of music, every breath of winter air. It wasn’t as though I’d celebrated Christmas extravagantly but the absence of it here made the ache of displacement settle heavy in my chest. Even if I’d only half-participated in the holiday back then, its laughter and warmth had always been a comforting constant.

Teyvat moved without pause. The winds of Mondstadt whipped across snow-buried plains, Sumeru’s ever-shifting leaves played on the breeze and Liyue’s lanterns flickered against a fading sky. It was timeless and unchanging, as if the universe was indifferent to the celebration I longed for. But like the decorations I’d strung up, Christmas had no place here. And in that knowledge, my homesickness deepened, the distance between my old world and this one stretching farther.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and I startled, my gaze snapped to the figure entering. Alhaitham’s silhouette was outlined against the dim light of Teyvat’s evening and in his hand was a small neatly wrapped package, the paper a rich shade of crimson, tied with thin, silver silk that shimmered softly in the light.

“You’re back,” I mustered, rising slightly from my seat.

“I am,” His gaze swept over me, and a crease formed between his brows. “You look troubled.”

I offered a fragile smile, “Just thinking about… you know.” I trailed off, eyes drifting to the window where whimsy unbeknownst to me twinkled in the inky expanse above.

Without preamble, he extended the gift toward me. “Here.”

I blinked in surprise, looking from his hand to his face. “What’s this for?”

“Isn’t it customary to exchange gifts for… Christmas?”

The word fell from his lips tentatively, as though testing its weight. His eyes searched mine for any sign that he had mispronounced it. Then, a bittersweet ache unfurled in my chest.

“You… remembered?”

He remembered. Even in passing, even if I hadn’t explained it in detail, he had remembered. And more than that, he had acted on it.

“You mentioned it once,” he replied, the faintest hint of awkwardness colouring his tone. “I don’t fully understand the tradition, but it seemed important to you.” He paused, then added softly, “I thought it might remind you of home.”

My fingers brushed the wrapping paper, tracing its edges as a quiet laugh escaped me. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“It matters to you. If it makes this place feel less foreign, then it’s no trouble at all.” He spoke as though his sentiment was the simplest truth in the world.

I bit my lip, his words filling the emptiness in my heart like the flickering flame of a candle in the dark. Slowly, I unwrapped the gift, the paper falling away to reveal a delicate glass ornament, its shape a perfect, crystalline star. It caught the lamplight, scattering prisms across the room like a reflection of something celestial—like fragments of a distant sky.

“It’s not much,” he almost sounded apologetic, “but stars seem to hold significance in your world’s imagery for this holiday.”

I stared down at the gift, my vision blurring as the sting of tears welled unexpectedly. The ornament trembled in my grasp, held close to my chest as the first drops slipped free, unstoppable. “Thank you,” I whispered, so softly it felt like the words might dissolve and me with it.

Watching me closely, a shadow of concern crossed his face, as though uncertain whether he had made me uncomfortable. “You’re crying…” His voice wavered, caught somewhere between a statement and a question.

I wiped at my tears, smiling through them. “They’re happy tears,” I told him. “I really needed this.”

Alhaitham sat beside me with the same calmness that defined his every action. The silence now brimmed with a bubbling warmth, deeply felt like a steadfast anchor.

“If you’d like,” he started, “then we’ll celebrate it. Here, every year. However you wish.”

His offer settled gently. “I would like that,” I said, already untethered.

Alhaitham nodded, brushing his hands against mine, the touch so tender it seemed to carry a promise with a three word phrase hanging in the air. As the glass star shimmered between us, the ache of homesickness began to ebb. In its place bloomed a sense of belonging.

A realisation that home was here. Home was now. And it had been all along.

© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform

divider: @/adornedwithlight

[vaspider]

While this post is in part because of @ladyshinga's monsterfucker post and the way people have acted on it, it's not about that post.

I think that a lot of the time, people who have not ever stood in the firehose of internet attention that happens once you pass a certain number of followers or a certain longevity of existence in certain circles of the internet genuinely cannot understand the way that it feels. Then, when you combine the firehose of interaction with the fact that a rather unnerving number of people think that "randomly being an asshole to strangers" is cute and charming, and stack on top of that the number of people who feel totally entitled to treat high-follower-count people like they've been actual friends for years, it becomes...

... quite often literally unbearable.

And then when you respond to this onslaught of overly familiar people doing the verbal equivalent of snapping your ass with a towel at the pool in any way except wholeheartedly inviting more of it, it turns into YOU being the bad person for ... not wanting to be spoken to rudely, and sometimes in ways that are really cruel or nasty.

And that sucks.

Please stop being rude to random strangers for no goddamned reason on their posts. You don't need to tell a random person "fuck you" bc of their taste in monster alien dudes. You don't need to comment, "I hate vaspider, but he has a point" in the tags on my posts. (And before you say, "They're just trying to get your goat," a lot of them are actually shocked that I'm like 'dude that was really shitty. Who raised you?' & don't see anything wrong with that.) You don't need to say "that didn't happen, but this is a funny post" when @thebibliosphere talks about whatever bullshit medical nonsense is going on in her life now.

Or whatever.

Just... stop. It's exhausting. You aren't being funny or cute or clever. You just look like a jerk.

And don't argue with me about this, okay? I'm not gonna argue about this. It's shitty behavior that needs to end, and arguing about it will get you blocked with no response.