#“sci fi writers have been warning about this” cool! wonder where they got that from

[timetravellingkitty]

I'm not listening to a white person on what's racist or insensitive to brown people. read orientalism by edward said before talking to me or my son ever again

[letspurpletogether]

Out of the Void || BTS

↳ Summary: The one where the boys stumble upon that one fic and they all end up reading. (This is a crack fic inspired by @btssavedmylifeblr’s Void, because my own words are not enough to describe how an amazing story Void it is, and what a outstanding writer Bee is).

⇢ Warnings: BEWARE OF SPOILERS!! This things should be full of them so I suggest you to read all of Void before reading this just in case. Also, for those entitled rude anons: stop demanding updates from the fan fiction writers like they owe you shit, cause they don’t! And stop coming at them to complain about their publishing schedule. This is done for fun and for free, if you can’t be patient and respect their creative process then fuck off!

A/N: Also, I had so much fun writing this. I wanted to keep adding and adding stuff. However, since english is not my mother language i had some trouble describing the scenes the way I pictured them in my head. Therefore, I decided to leave it like this for now. 

(TT-TT) Im sorry, Bee! I did try my best, I know it doesn’t do Void justice. But I still wanted to write it for you because Void is such an amazing story! 

That’s it! Please,enjoy!

→ 01

[...]

He shouldn’t be doing this.

Hoseok checked over his shoulder again before turning back to the phone in his hands. It wasn’t like if someone were to come into his studio right now and catch him watching porn.

Hell, this was so much worse.

Especially considering how he was supposed to be working on the rap arrangement for the new song, and not checking out a piece of fan-fiction... If Namjoon were to catch him he was going to give him hell for days.

He had strictly advised the six of them against it several times, but to be honest Hoseok was to eager to find out what happened next to actually acknowledge the suggestion. Besides, he was he eldest of the two and it wasn’t like he had to listen to his band member. Joon was only the leader when the cameras were out. Inside their dorms he couldn’t even remember to wash the dishes when he was supposed to or take the clothes out of the dryer so they wouldn’t end up a crumble mess the next morning.

Also, it was all Jimin’s fault.

His dongsaeng had sent him the link without any explanation last week. It was a silly thing they did to each other trying to make the other cringe with whatever weird-ass story they could find, mostly on Twitter. It was all for the laughs but they had stopped doing it when Hoseok had accidentally send Seokjin a rather explicit piece that involved Jimin and Yoongi in a threesome with some kind of catgirl trying to get her pregnant. It was meant for the young boy, of course and that slip of hand had resulted in a hysteric Seokjin exposing them right in front of the others.

Hoseok has been so embarrassed after that he couldn’t even look at Yoongi in the face for a whole ass week. Even though his hyung had said it was fine. It didn’t help that Taehyung and Jungkook wouldn’t let the topic die either. Those rascals, he made sure to make them wore their asses off in the following dance practices.

But anyways, he and Jimin had agreed to stop.

So it was a surprise to receive a new link from him after a couple months. He’d ignored it at first, being too busy with practice and rehearsals to bother with checking it up. But yesterday while waiting for his appointment with the cupping therapist, he’d absentmindedly opened it and was actually surprised with what he’d found. Written in English, it was a space story... and they were astronauts!

At that moment he been too oblivious to care and read the warnings or summary on top of the post. For a moment of innocent wonder he actually got caught up in the first scene. He was a scientist in space, it couldn’t get any cooler than that! But of course, he had soon realized what type of story it was.

The problem was that it didn’t start right off with the porn part like most stories he’s found while browsing the darkest depths of the ARMY’s fandom. He’d read some weird shit himself, demons, half-animal people, male pregnancyㅡHell! even tentacles once. The kind of things his fans could come up with was exhilarating, and it blew his mind that the weirdest and kinkiest were for some reason the best well-written of allㅡ.

But this story was different.

It had a storyline, an actual estructure, inciting incident, clear stakes, the whole pack. Years listening to his father reviewing novels and short-stories had resulted in him developing an appetite for well-written stories. And even though the main character was that Y/N type their fans where so keen about, she wasn’t plain at all. She struggled, and that was nice to read. Besides, all that astronaut stuff sounded so legit that he almost consider the possibility of the author being an astronaut herself. He’d always been a fan of fantasy and sci-fi since he was child and his father brought him the entire collection of Jules Verne’s novels for his eleventh birthday. Stories about voyages to far and unknown places were his guilty pleasure, so of course he got hooked up with this piece faster than he’d ever with any other he’d read so far.

But he couldn’t finished the chapter that time because the masseur was already calling his name. The scrolling bar told him he wasn’t even half way through it, so he’d copied the link for later and went to the therapist office. So now there he was resuming his reading with renewed eagerness.

The main character had just arrived at a green house inside the ship. And there was Yoongi.

Hoseok huffed and raised an eyebrow when he realized this scene focused all on his elder. Wasn’t he supposed to be the main character here? Not that he complained, though. Yoongi’s fingers where indeed nice after all and wouldn’t blame the girl for obsess over them. But in most stories he’d read there was always a lead, and he assumed by the first scene it was going to be himself. Maybe this was a threesome?

He quickly scrolled back up to the story information, searching for the pairing section where he knew his questions would be answered. /OT7 x reader/

He flinched.

“All of us? What...?”. Did that mean everyone was a love interest? Or that the main character was supposed to screw all of them at once? How was that supposed to work if there was just one woman in the whole crew?

Oh wait...

The realization hit him. Of course, that was the whole plot. Seven guys and one girl, and they had to fight for her love? It was something like that for sure, wasn’t it? She would pick one of them and then they’d have sex. He kept reading—

«Your deepest darkest fantasies- the ones you always turned to on your most stressed and anxious nights - were the ones involving the entire crew. The idea of them finding out what a slut you were for them and passing you between them filled you with an embarrassing level of arousal. You would imagine them taking turns filling you until all your thoughts of loneliness and emptiness had been fucked out of you. And you would sleep like a baby.»

—or not...

He scratched his chin, a little confused now. Was this actually going to be gangbang? Or more importantly, was he actually going to read this till the end? He did like threesomes, not that he’d been in one... Yet. Their schedules hardly ever allowed them to properly date someone, and hooking up with a random stranger was way too risky with the level of fame they’d reached at this point. But the idea of threesomes was very appealing, although he’d never actually consider having a gangbang with all his members. However... he wasn’t going to cross off reading about one just yet.

Just as he was about to resume his reading, the door flew open and Jimin‘s face appeared. “Hyung!”

Hoseok jumped in his seat, his phone fell on his lap.

“Shit...!”, he took a deep breath and glared at his band member. “You almost gave me a heart attack, Jimin!”

A sly grin appeared on the youngest face.

“Why? What were you doing?”

Hoseok cleared his throat. Had he been discovered?

“Nothing”, he lied so poorly he wanted to smack himself on the face.

“You were totally reading it, weren’t you?”, Jimin chuckled. “Did you get to the video part already?”

“No, what video part?”

Jimin raised both palms.

“Sorry, not going to give you any spoilers”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Anyway... Why did you send it?” He asked, retrieving his phone and unlocking the screen again. “I thought we agreed on not doing that anymore”

“Yeah, but Taehyung send it to me”

“What?” Hoseok frowned, and turned around in his chair to face the boy. That was a surprise. “Why would he...?” He shook his head, sometimes Taehyung needn’t a reason to do the most random things.

Jimin simply shrugged.

“He also sent it to Jungkook and Namjoon-hyung”, Jimin ran his hand through his hair and giggled. “I think everyone is reading it now”

“Wait- What?!” Hoseok chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Are you for real?”

“Haven’t you checked the group chat?”

“No, I was...” Hoseok pressed his tongue against his cheek. “-reading”.

“Huh”Jimin wiggled his eyebrows. “Is cool isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s ... interesting”, he conceded. Jimin let himself in and plopped down on the spare chair he kept in his studio in case he needed to work with the senior producers.

“Who do you think she’ll choose?”

“For what?”

“Come on, hyung.” Jimin snickered, “You know what I mean”

“Are you sure she is supposed to choose one of us?”

“What-? Obviously...”, Jimin shifted on the sofa, his face stared confused at Hoseok for a moment. But then he gasped, suddenly realizing what he mean. “Do you mean-? All of us?!”

“Why not?” Hoseok shrugged. “It’s just a story, anyways. You know some of our fans like kinky stuff and there’s nothing wrong with that”

“I mean! I know that! Its not-”. Jimin’s face turned a bright shade of red. “W-we shouldn’t be reading about that. What if they get... ideas!” He brought a hand to his forehead and looked back at him with a worried expression. Hoseok spluttered in a laugh, but it soon dwindled when he realized Jimin was actually serious about his concern.

“Jimin...”

“Goddamnit...!” Hoseok observed as his younger member stood up and facepalmed himself “I’m an idiot! I bet that was Taehyung’s plan all along”

“Taehyung’s plan was to have us... read fan-fiction?”

“About a gangbang!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes.

“It’s just fan fiction, Jimin. Not a proposition”, he said, but Jimin wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

“The others can’t read that. I have to stop them”, and he was about to storm out the door, but Hoseok had to stop him.

“Hey, hey!”, he grabbed him by the elbow. “Now you’re just exaggerating”

“No, I’m not”, Hoseok couldn’t comprehend why Jimin was so scandalized. “We can’t have a gangbang, hyung!”

“No, no, no!”, he “First of all, no one is having a gangbang. Second of all, why does it bother you so much?”

“It doesn’t!”

“Really?”

“I just don’t want to be... I don’t want to share a partner with the six of you”

“Why, you’re worried she might like it too much and dump you?” Hoseok teased. However, upon seeing Jimin getting all self-conscious, the smile was erased from his face.

“Jimin, come on. You don’t really think that would happen”

“I don’t know, you are all good looking and mature, and more talented that-“

“Stop it. You are not less than us, stop beating yourself so much specially over a fictional situation. Do you forget who has the third largest fan base among us?”

“It because ARMY likes when I act all cute and pretty, and want to baby me like a child. I’m the cutie, the tiny one...”, his voiced turned into an almost whisper at the end. “I’m never the big... manly man...”

“Jimin...”

“What?”

“This isn’t about the story, is it?”

“No... yes- well, not this one...”, he paused, looking at his feet, bashfully. “It’s just the other stories...”

“What other stories?”, Hoseok asked, but Jimin just shrugged. “I don’t get it...”

“Ugh- hyung it’s nothing really”, he was quick to reply, standing up again. “You are right, I’m so over-reacting... it’s just a story”

“Okay...”, Hoseok leaned back in his chair and looked again at Jimin who was standing next to the door. Hands behind his back, like a child waiting to be scolded. “You sure that’s all?”

“Yep”, that extra ‘p’ sound at the end was enough evidence that he was lying. But he was also aware of Jimin’s uneasiness so it was probably better to let him off the hook for now.

“Well, then...”, Hoseok rubbed his neck. “I really should get back to work then”

Jimin gave him a short smile and left without saying another word. Hoseok turned around in his chair to face his computer and actually get some work before the day was over.

But maybe...ㅡHe glanced at his phone next to the mouseㅡ, just maybe... one more chapter wouldn’t hurt either.

[...]

It was past three am when he arrived back at the dorm. He usually wasn’t the one to stay overnight at the studio like Joonie and Yoongi-hyung. But time flew from his grasp like an oiled rope after he finished the first chapter and he had to stay late to finish his assignments. He didn’t want Pdogg-hyung to yell at him in their next briefing. However, the pull of the story was too strong for him to resist.

He had gone to sleep right away, and with the first light the next day he was already reaching for his cellphone and logging into the Tumblr account he had created just for this. He needed to know what happened next, story-Jimin had to be out of his mind to give the main character a video of him masturbating. It was a risky move, he wouldn’t think Jimin was capable of it in real life... Maybe Seokjin-hyung was shameless enough to pull that one out, and Taehyung...

“Yeah, probably Taehyung...”, he mused to himself as he propped himself down on his elbows.

“Probably Taehyung what?”, Jimin’s sleepy voice asked from his side of the room.

“Oh! Jiminie, did I wake you?”, Jimin shook his head and asked again what he meant by ‘probably Taehyung’. Hoseok sat on his bed and stretched his arms. “Nothing, it’s just this story...”

“Why do you keep reading it, hyung?”, Jimin groaned and covered his face with both palms in exhaustion. Hoseok simply chuckled, Jimin’s concerns where silly. Plus, he wasn’t going to deny himself the pleasure of a good story just because his roommate thought his best friend was trying to get them to have an orgy.

“We are not having a gangbang, just relax”

Jimin huffed but didn’t argue further.

A sudden nasal shriek shattered the morning’s quietness and reached their ears through the door. Hoseok almost jumped off his bed to Jimin’s, what on earth was that? It sounded like some kind of hysteric bird .

“First you send me that porn thing and then you wanna talk about gangbangs?! Gangbangs!!”

Okay, that hysteric bird sounded like Seokjin now. And by the volume of it, it was coming from the kitchen.

“It’s not like that, hyung! You don’t even listen!” And that was definitely Joon’s.

Hoseok exchanged confused glances with Jimin that soon turned into curious ones. As if on cue, both of them got up their beds and ran into the kitchen to check on their band members.

Namjoon was leaning on the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in one hand, the other scratching his forehead. Meanwhile Seokjin was beating some eggs in a plastic bowl, ranting about how much porn was acceptable in a household.

“It’s not porn! It’s basically literature!” Namjoon sounded as much fed up as he looked embarrassed. Seokjin let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“It’s porn! And you are a pervert!”

Namjoon rolled his eyes.

“If you could just read it-!”

“I have enough with the viruses that keep popping on the computer because of you shady search historial!” It was hilarious just listening to them arguing back and forth like and old married couple. But Hoseok was more curious about whether they were talking about what he though they were.

“Is this about the space story?”, he chimed in, resting his elbows on the marble island across Seokjin’s cooking station. Jimin climbed on a stool next to him.

“You too, now?”, Seokjin huffed, giving him and Jimin disgusted look. “Not that I’m surprised, considering your fascination with breeding cats”

“It was a cat-girl! And that was a mistake!” Hoseok’s ears suddenly burned. “But whatever...”

“Wait- So did you read it, or not?”, this time Namjoon was the one to speak.

“I am reading it, I’m on chapter two”, he replied and Jimin nodded along.

“Did you get to the video part right?”, Joon asked and before Hoseok had a chance to speak, Seokjin’s loud huff cut him off.

“Can I cook in peace without having to hear about how much you want a gangbang, pleaaaaase?”

“Com’on, hyung! I never said I wanted a gangbang!” Namjoon shot him a glare before turning back to Hoseok. His hands came to fondle with the fruit bowl in front of him.  “What I was trying to explain to this hyung is that I do think it’s an interesting guessing exercise for figuring out the extends of human behaviour in such adverse conditions”

“But you said you wanted to do it!”

“No! I said to explore it as in talk about it! WITH WORDS!”, Namjoon glared at their hyung, as a faint blush covered his cheeks. It was clear that “If you could’ve just listened for a moment instead of acting like a scandalized prude!”

“Yeah, hyung. It’s just a story, you are over reacting”, said Jimin, taking Hoseok by surprise considering all he had to say about it last night.

“Well, forgive me for not wanting a gangbang!”

“No one’s having a gangbang, for God’s sake!”

“I wouldn’t mind”, a fifth voice joined the conversation out of the blue and all the heads turned in the direction of the hallway.

Yoongi-hyung was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and messy bed hair. A slight frown hardening his features. He’d most likely woken up because all of the noise.

Seokjin let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“You too, Yoongi?”

“How long have you been standing there?”, Jimin asked. Yoongi shrugged off a yawn and walked over to grab an apple from the bowl Namjoon was holding. 

“It’s hard to keep sleeping with this hyung nagging so loud this early in the morning”, he pointed to his eldest and bit on the fruit.

“You know what?!”, Seokjin scoffed, and put aside all his cooking implements. “Y’all can make your own breakfast! Seriously...”

And walked away.

“So noisy...”, Yoongi mumbled as he munched on his apple.

“You read it too, hyung?”, Namjoon asked. Yoongi turned to him, leaning on his elbows. Hoseok’s eyes betrayed him as they followed Yoongi’s movements and the way he arched his back, lifting his ass in the air so subtly.

“Since Tae shared it in the group chat I figured I should give it a try”, he shrugged seemingly desinterestedm, but Hoseok knew him better than that. Yoongi liked to pretende he didn’t care about stuff other that making music, but it was clear to him by the way he was behaving, that the older rapper had enjoyed the story a little bit too much. “It was good”.

“You’re only saying that because you are not the main character”, said Jimin.

“At least I’m not the character that gave the girl a video of me jerking off”

“First of all, she asked! and second, you messed up big time keeping that memory card, hyung!”

Yoongi sneered at the younger boy. 

“I got her off, you didn’t”

“Wait, what are you-?”

Jimin’s face turned a bright red, his nosetrils flared. Namjoon just chocked a laugh, almost knocking off the fruit bowl. For a moment, Hoseok only stared in confussion at them. He couldn’t recall something like that happening in the story yet and he realized they were probably far ahead of him. 

“Hey! Don’t give me any spoilers! I haven’t reached that part yet”.

But Yoongi and Jimin just ignored him, continuing their teasing banter.

“I don’t think she’ll forgive you. EVER!”

“She was thinking of me while fucking you”

“At least I got to- to... be with her!”

“You can’t even say fuck without blushing. Space-Jimin is lightyears ahead of you”, a smug grin appeared in Yoongi’s face, clearly pleased with his joke and Jimin’s fuming face.

“That’s a bit rich coming from you, hyung”, Namjoon said with a smirk. “I mean, last time I checked you couldn’t even look at Halsey in her training clothes without turning red as a beetroot”

“That’s-!”, Yoongi coughed, a bite of the apple going the wrong way. Suddenly matching Jimin with his red cheeks. “That’s different!”

“Neither one of you would ever dare to act like the way the author portraits you. Just admit it”, Namjoon snickered. “You don’t have what it takes”.

“Oh, and you do?”

“I’m just saying if the seven of us where trapped in a spaceship and there’s just one woman for miles and miles...”, He crossed his arms, chin raised proudly. “I’m guessing you’d be too shy to get her attention”.

“It’s not a competition, anyway. It’s a story and it has already been written”, argued Yoongi. “And I was her first choice”.

“Technically it was Hobi”, Jimin pointed out. “She was so ready to throw herself over him in that lab scene”.

“Well Hobi doesn’t count here because he did nothing”

“Excuse me?”, Hoseok scoffed. “Clearly I’m the best character, unlike others I’m actually being professional”.

“Yeah, right. Professional until Yoongi-hyung tells you he screwed the main character”, Taehyung popped up from behind him making Hoseok shriek in surprise, followed closely by a sleepy-faced Jungkook.

“You little-! You almost killed me!”, Taehyung only laughed, joining the his chuckling hyungs.

“And he didn’t screw anything- anyone!”, said Jimin.

“Well, his fingers did”.

“Stop talking!”, Hoseok shoved Taehyung aside and shook his head. “You’ve already spoiled the story for me enough as it is! At least let me finish the chapters before we talk about this”.

“Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t talk about it before breakfast”, Namjoon scratched his chin. “Gguk, go tell Jin-hyung he can come back now”.

“Why, was he here?” asked Jungkook. 

“He left because he didn’t what to have a gangbang”, Yoongi answered, almost offended, like he was telling Jungkook his hyung had turned down some fishing trip.

Jungkook’s eyes where suddendly wide open.

“What-?!”

“It’s the story, nevermind!”, Jimin waved a hand in the air in dismissal.

“Wait, so we can’t have a gangbang?”

“Are you serious right now, hyung?”, Jimin gave Yoongi the side eye. His hyung response was simply shrugging.

“I like to keep my options open”.

“Yeah, maybe one thing you shouldn’t keep open is your mouth”. 

The group erupted in laughter at Jimin’s witty comeback. Yoongi raised the hand that held half an apple and pretended to throw it at Jimin’s head, only to join the laughter when the dancer fell from his chair by his motion.

Hoseok chuckled and shook his head. 

What a way to start the day.

. . . .

[binkywinky]

hi! Comics rec anon here! to answer your question, I'm not entirely new to comics, have read a few but not enough to say I have a specific type. The first series I read was all the jessica jones comics which I really liked, also the miles morales series which i enjoyed and the spidergwen series which was cute but the art was kinda annoying lol. i also like a couple of dc ones like mister miracle. so i think i prefer a general rec from you since the comics world is so big. thanks in advance!

Got it. Hmm… let’s see. It’s probably easiest to break it down by publisher then. I’ll try to give a mix of ongoing, finished, and “classic” stories. 

Fair warning, I read a lot of comics (probably about 60 per month, and that’s not including manga), so even though this may feel like a long list, it’s short for me.

Marvel

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man - Relatively new series, and it’s been fantastic so far. Great art, and a bit more grounded than the Amazing Spider-Man run (which is also great). Stellar art, too.

Miles Morales: Spider-Man - A little YA-ish at times, but overall enjoyable. You get to see a lot more of Miles’ personality in this one, which is always fun.

Superior Spider-Man - Because nothing is more fun than seeing a semi-reformed Otto Octavius try to be a hero.

Captain Marvel - Kelly Thompson does a phenomenal job with this series. She has a great hold of Carol’s voice. Would highly recommend Kelly Sue Deconnick and Margaret Stohl’s previous runs to give context (Captain Marvel 2012-2017, Mighty Captain Marvel, and The Life of Captain Marvel).

Jessica Jones - Not sure if you’ve read Kelly Thompson’s recent run or just Bendis’, but hers is definitely worth a read.

Avengers (2019) - actually a solid run. I would check this out if you’re more into crossover, large-scale storytelling. They’re in the middle of War of the Realms, though… so maybe wait until like August or September?

Immortal Hulk, Daredevil, and X-23 - also good. I read them off and on (not really my fave characters to read on their own, I enjoy them in ensembles), but the stories are solid.

Rogue & Gambit - mini series that I absolutely love by Kelly Thompson (she does great character work) that came out last year. Mr. & Mrs. X is a follow-up to it and also tons of fun (nearing its end as well). 

Runaways - I fell off of this when Brian K. Vaughn left, but I can say up through his run ended is well worth the read.

As far as classic stories, Infinity Gauntlet, The Dark Phoenix Saga, X-Men: Age of Apocalypse, Secret Invasion, and Secret Wars would be my first recommendations.

I would’ve recommended Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider, but maybe wait on that. It’s about to end soon and transition to just Ghost Spider (where she leaves Earth-65 and comes to Earth-616 where Peter and Miles are). Same for X-Men. I’m currently reading Uncanny, but X-Men is about to be overhauled soon. So probably hold on that front.

DC/Vertigo

Honestly, not the biggest DC fan (I lean more towards Vertigo actually), but there are a few that I enjoy.

Action Comics (starting at #1000) - I am not a Superman fan, but I enjoy this series, which says a lot. I enjoy what Bendis is doing with him in this run.

Naomi - a new series, also by Bendis, following the story of a young Black girl who is investigating the circumstances around her adoption. Don’t want to give too much away, but probably my fave DC run at the moment. And Jamal Campbell’s art is fucking gorgeous.

Dial H for Hero - it’s fun. It’s weird. Not for everyone, but maybe give it a shot.

The Flash and Batman, New 52 runs - New 52 gets shit from fans a lot, but I thought these runs were awesome. Very good story-telling.

Dark Nights: Metal event - Probably one of the best things DC did in a long time. It’s a massive event that pretty much reworked the DC universe and all the characters. Enjoyed it immensely.

Heroes in Crisis - this miniseries ended very recently. It’s a story focused on a major event that happens at Sanctuary, a rehab for superheroes suffering from mental health issues (e.g. PTSD after doing something that nearly killed them). Not your usual superhero story, which I liked.

American Carnage - very gritty story focused on a white-passing Black man who infiltrates a white supremacist organization. It’s really fucking good.

High Level - I picked this book up randomly because the cover looked cool. I’ve been reading it ever since. I would say it’s weird sci-fi/fantasy/cyberpunk adventure. A little strong on the language, but very interesting story and great artwork.

Birds of Prey - awesome series with the DC women. A little shaky sometimes, but Gail Simone does really good character work. Her run is probably the only one I’d bother reading.

Deathbed - miniseries by Vertigo that ended maybe a year ago. It’s so bizarre and hilarious and out there. I loved it.

Batwoman (J.H. Williams run) and Batwoman: Rebirth - Kate Kane, my favorite lesbian superhero. Williams did a great job in his run (and the art is to die for). Don’t read the back half, they change writers and it’s a goddamn mess. But then Marguerite Bennett (a queer woman) picked it up in Rebirth, and it got awesome again. Also, shout-out to Greg Rucka for officially making her queerness canon in 52.

Wonder Woman - Wonder Woman’s my fave of DC main characters (along with Martian Manhunter and Wally West I & II), and my favorite run for her is Greg Rucka’s. He does a surprisingly good job of writing women. The run is over at the moment, but I’d check it out. Good stuff there.

For classic stories, Kingdom Come, Watchmen, Flashpoint (precursor to New 52), and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman are some of my faves.

Image

Image is probably what I read the most. Definitely has the most diverse pool of comics to choose from.

Saga - My favorite comic series of all-time. I’ve gotten so many people to read this and they love it. It’s weird - really weird, actually - but the storytelling is phenomenal. And it’s on hiatus right now, so plenty of time to get caught up.

Ice Cream Man - This series is so fucking weird, but I love it. It’s sorta like… Tales from the Crypt? Different stories (mostly horror) that all feature this demon ice cream man.

The Weatherman - This series is such a goddamn delight. I don’t want to ruin the plot but just… yeah. Read the first issue and it just goes crazy from there.

Man-Eaters - Sort of a niche story. Basically, this takes place in a society where when women get their cycle, they turn into giant cats and maul men, so they’ve given them pills to keep them from menstruating. Sounds weird? Wait until you read it. Probably a highlight series of the year for me. 

Black Science - You might not like the art in this one, but maybe give it a shot? These scientists are trying to solve the problem of limited resources on Earth by hopping across dimensions for new ones (infinite dimensions, infinite resources). Only problem is, their machine got damaged so now they hop uncontrollably to whatever dimension it chooses for however long it decides. It’s a wild ride.

Middlewest - An interesting take on parent/child relationships and how the consequences of abuse, anger, and depression can manifest in dangerous ways. Sounds more bleak than it is - the story actually has quite a bit of humor.

Excellence - Very new series, but with a PoC lead, about PoCs, with mostly PoC creators. A story about a secret society of Black magicians and a son whose next in line to take on the mantle, and it’s pretty fucking cool. Issue 2 comes out this week - check it out!

The Walking Dead - I don’t think I have to explain this one, do I? Zombies.

Lazarus and Lazarus: Risen - Sci-fi story set in a dystopian society where the world is ruled by like 15 or so families, and they each have a Lazarus to fight for them. This is told from the perspective of the Carlyle family’s Lazarus, Forever. 

Die - If Dungeons & Dragons and Jumanji had a baby, it would be this book. Sounds weird, but once you read it, you’ll find the description to be accurate.

Anything from Brian K. Vaughn - I have yet to read something from Brian K. Vaughn that I don’t like. Saga, Paper Girls, Y: The Last Man, Runaways, Barrier… his shit’s always good.

Independents / Not Marvel, DC, or Image

Some of these are nostalgia-based, so fair warning.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BOOM Studios) - very new series that’s out. Great art. If you were a fan of the show, I think you’ll like it. It’s a re-imagining of sorts. There’s also an Angel series that just started.

Nancy Drew (Dynamite) - Listen… I could not stand Nancy Drew as a kid. Never got into it and thought it was boring as hell. But I really loved this miniseries (another Kelly Thompson run). It’s maybe 5 issues?

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and Go Go Power Rangers (BOOM Studios) - Honest to God, if you had told me 3 years ago one of my fave comics would be a Power Rangers one, I would have laughed in your face. Both of these series are really good and provide the continuity, nuance, and characterization the show lacked. Fan of the show or not, I’d say it’s worth checking out if you enjoy the teenage superhero genre. Also, just some really amazing art and world-building.

Anything from Jinxworld - This is Bendis’ own publishing company. He’s put out Cover, Pearl, Scarlet, and United States vs. Murder, Inc. All of them are really good.

Umbrella Academy (Dark Horse) - This is the series the Netflix show is based off of. Right now, they’re doing Hotel Oblivion in the comics, but start with Apocalypse Suite and Dallas.

So, there you go anon. There are FAR more I would recommend, but I tried to give a good range of books for you to choose from without (hopefully) overwhelming you. And if you have any questions, I’m more than happy to talk about any of them.

[tryingthisfangirlthing]

Love, I’ve Missed You In A Million Different Ways (How Is It We Keep On Writing Tragedies Together?) 3/14-ish

So this is part 3 of my @bering-and-wells-exchange gift for @dapperdorian. This section kept kicking my behind, and I wasn’t happy with it, and I wasn’t happy with it but I had a plan to follow. Then last Friday this idea bowled me over out of left field, and exploded, and, well. It’s not soft longing, more like love-hate if-things-were-different repressed wanting.

And warning for implied major character death.

3. She Would Have Given Everything

“I never want to meet you like this again,” Myka bit out, as she grabbed Helena's hand and jumped them both to the posh downtown lobby.

“Well, don't.” Helena lifted one shoulder. “But I'm not going to aside while this plague wrecks —”

“If you want to help, go back to your lab. You are not Batman! Or — Batwoman, or whoever. One of these days you're going to get yourself killed!” And her concern was very real. “And we need you.”

“That fictional, pouty, playboy Gary Stu? I should hope not!” Helena arched her eyebrows at Myka, and shook her head in disbelief. “Quite frankly, I’m offended that comparison even occurred to you.”

“Helena, you’re not super,” Myka hissed at her. “And you have —”

A loud crash rang out above them. Amanda lost the queen, Steve relayed.

On it. “Get out of here, and stay out,” Myka grit out, and jumped back to the 10th floor to search.

Higher than 10. Lower than 15. Closer to 15 than 10, judging by the volume of the ruckus. Coming higher, the screech of metal giving way under demonic claws. Elevator shaft. To confirm, she jumped several floors below, inside the shaft.

The breathless cold split second of everywhere and nowhere. Steeling herself against the rushing freefall, the crack of instinctual panic. Up, look up.

A forked tail, lashing out, snagged her hair. That was too close. Closing her eyes, she jumped again, without those strands.

Solid ground beneath her feet, no large, otherworldly presence. Definitely in the elevator, and climbing, Steve. Then she fell onto all fours, shaky and ungainly.

“Don't you dare talk to me about risking my life, when they need you just as much.” A fierce murmur in her ear, and a vial was pressed against her hand. “Drink.”

Myka opened her eyes just in time to see the swarm zipping up the avenue, Helena flinging a grenade through the doors into the middle of it. Flame burst through the cloud of insects, licking at wings and silencing snapping mandibles. The drones are here. First wave is dealt with, but I'm sure more are coming.

Copy. She could hear the frown in Steve's thoughts. We need to get these civilians out of here.

Shit. Why here? It wasn't a food source for them (like the nuclear power plant just outside of town) or on the dessert menu (the slaughterhouse just across the county line) or even a good nesting spot (no large, open yet enclosed spaces).

Better here than almost anywhere else.

Office complex on a Saturday afternoon… You have a point.

Helena gave you something. Take it.

You connected her, too? A miserable foreboding rose in Myka's throat. But that was Pete's forte, not hers.

Safer for everyone, was all Steve offered in return.

Myka uncorked the vial and drank. It didn't happen all at once, but her heartbeat slowed, a new energy crackling through her veins.

“What was that stuff?” She called across the lobby, as she straightened, rising, testing her knees.

“Just something I cooked up.” Helena didn't spare her a glance, alternating between eyeing the street outside and a flashing gadget on the marble floor by her feet.

“Yeah, I got that much.” She rolled her shoulders, checking for any aches.

“Well, I don't have the time to explain the various biochemical process involved,” Helena snapped.

“I was pre-med, you know. Before —” She couldn't find the words for — this madness. “Before.”

“I didn't know,” Helena said, softly, and Myka glanced at her to find that this was the thing that got her attention. A kind of sorrow flickered in her dark eyes, and Myka almost wondered if she was thinking, for the first time, about how her screw-up had affected everyone else.

“I was going to switch over to pre-law, though.” She brushed it off. Something wasn't quite right, that last jump... “Just didn't know how to tell my dad. You kind of saved me the trouble.” Because the last thing she needed was pity from Helena fucking Wells.

Helena nodded, slowly, her gaze wandering back to the now-beeping device at her feet. “I was a writer, before.”

“I know. Writer, inventor, physicist, all-around polymath.” Something in Myka's back clicked into place, and all her atoms lined up again — sans that shorn-off hair, she reminded herself, running the flat of her hand over the ragged curls. If she tried to reassemble more matter than was there…

You good to go?

“You did?” There shouldn't be that much surprise in Helena's voice, for someone once heralded as “the next Jules Verne or Anne McCaffrey.”

Yep. Where?

They were all huddled in a storage closet on the 7th floor, eight weekend workaholics, one with a kid. Steve was shielding them all from the creature’s senses for now, but the effort it was taking him slipped over their connection as well.

She jumped.

Her eidetic memory served her unspeakably well, in that she could look at a roomful of people and know exactly how to reassemble them. “Hold hands, please,” as she reached for Steve to one side of her and the nearest civilian on the other. “No disabilities or chronic conditions?”

“Asthma,” one person in the back piped up.

“All right, noted. Shouldn't be a problem.” Where to?

Mall on King and McAllister. It was a good three blocks away, but definitely out of any potential lines of fire. Myka drew on all of her focus, making sure she could feel every one of them, and jumped.

A tug, a weight on her core, as she pulled them all through spacetime. Head throbbing as she stumbled onto the sidewalk, relief flooding her as they all came through all right.

Steve tightened his grip, wrapping his other arm around her to keep her from falling.

“You all right?” It was almost startling to her his voice in her ear, after so often hearing it only in her head.

“I will be,” she muttered.

“Get back to Helena. She'll look after you while you rest up.”

“Where the hell are Amanda and Pete?” Why couldn't one of them babysit me?

Amanda and Pete are doing their damn best to contain that queen.

Fine.

So she sucked in a breath and, for the third time in what felt like as many minutes, she jumped back to that damn lobby.

— Nearly jumped straight into Helena, careened as she shifted her destination at the last moment, Helena's startled “oh!” loud in her ear. Helena's arms wrapped around her, as she came to rest back in reality again.

“We've really got to stop meeting like this.” Low, teasing, warm breath feathering over her ear.

Myka let herself sag forward. “Screw you,” she muttered.

“You're quite welcome to, some other time.”

I just learned way more about you two than I ever wanted to know.

Butt out, Steve! And she could practically feel the same sentiment emanating from Helena, though she couldn't hear her directly.

Kinda hard right now, sorry.

Helena guided her over to a red leather armchair, Myka dragging her feet one after another. At least she shouldn't be crucial to operations now, unless they needed a scout, or bait, or a distraction, or a split-second save. Again.

Myka bent over, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, hair falling in her face. Tried not to feel awkward about how sweaty and gross she was making this nice chair.

She heard Helena make some kind of round of the space, muttering to herself, occasionally British-cursing at some gadget or another. Myka focused on breathing and getting her presence of mind back together. “Do you have another of those pick-me-ups?”

“I wouldn't recommend downing two in a row. Just as a precaution.”

“Okay.” She lifted her head, to watch as Helena watched the exterior. A laptop balanced on the narrow reception desk, floor plan of the building on display, surrounded by sporadically flashing indicators of, something, and now Helena paid this more attention than the view through the glass doors. A flash-bang off too their left, building lights flicking off and on again.

“Don’t tell me it wrecked the wiring somewhere.” God, she was getting fucking tired. Both right now, and of everything.

“That was me. Experimental chain-lightning —” she caught Myka's look — “Basically a super-sized swarm taser. Or, attempt at one.” And she frowned at the screen.

“Great. You can knock them out. Now just jump this entire freakshow back off of our plane of existence already.”

“Yes, thank you, I’ve been working on that for the past six months already.” Annoyance crackled through her voice.

“Stopping every time there's even the faintest hint of an attack to go play Batman with us. Or really more Lois Lane.” Myka knew only the vaguest of comic book premises from Pete. “Or whoever the mad scientist is. Harley Quinn, maybe?”

“That is low.” Helena's voice shuddered.

“I Encountered Aliens From Another Dimension,” Claims Sci-Fi Author; The Secret Crackpot Side of Physics’ Once-Rising Star; Local Mother Institutionalized, Daughter Left In Uncle's Care; the headlines flashed across her memory, and she hung her head again. “You're right. I'm sorry.”

Helena hummed vaguely. It wasn't quite acceptance, but Myka would take it.

“Hopper, 10 o'clock.” Myka winced inwardly as its spines shattered window after window on its zigzag path through downtown, thirty feet above ground.

“Yes, I'm aware. How about you do your job and let me do mine?”

“Sorry,” Myka muttered. “Just trying to be helpful.”

“Well, you're not.”

“Besides, I wouldn't exactly call this your job.”

Can you cool it with the negative energies? Really making things difficult right now.

Myka braced herself against the loud crash upstairs, the way the entire building shivered with the massive impact. Then a loud kreee! and the creature fell to the ground outside, writhing on its back, screaming as it melted from its eight feet down.

“What — did you coat the building in something? Or has someone nearby recently discovered the power of carapace-melting acid shields?”

A wicker café chair across the side street burst into flames, and Helena swore.

“Is that going to melt through the cement?” It would be kind of impressive, if this stuff did manage that trick. It almost looked like it might, as the hopper's screams died down to a low gurgle.

“It shouldn't. It should only react with their exoskeletons but —”

“It is.” The last of the creature utterly dissolved, the acidic puddle was now carving itself its own little pondspace, sinking into the middle of the intersection.

A loud sigh. “That's what field tests are for.”

“Really? In the middle of the city?” Myka stood, outrage eating away at her. “You are utterly insane.”

Helena glared at her, and for a split second, Myka was glad those piercing eyes weren't super. “Oh, I'm sorry. Was I supposed to try to lure one out into the middle of bloody nowhere, and try to contain it, just to douse it in deadly acid, and hear from you, ‘Oh, how could you, Helena? Doing something so dangerous on your own! You're too important and we need you working to fix this reality tear you ripped open! Think about others for once!’” Her mimic was mocking, annoyingly accurate for this familiar argument.

Stop it! Fight later!

If Helena heard Steve, she gave no sign. “Myka Bering, my entire life right now is dedicated to mitigating the damage I've caused the best I know how, and I don't need to hear that sort of shite from you!”

She was trembling; they both were. In her peripheral, something burst into flames; a window shattered, smoking shrapnel landing on the entryway carpet.

Myka kicked at it, and found herself swaying on her feet. “You set up a minefield?”

“A perimeter, yes. For the moment.”

“How did you lug all this stuff here on short notice?” She hadn't helped, she knew. She rested her head in her hands again.

(“You're lucky,” she'd told Pete once. “Your powers don't leave you feeling like three-day-old roadkill afterwards.”

“Yeah,” he'd returned, “but I do spend like a billion dollars on tacos now. Besides, your powers are way cooler. I'm just a regular guy who can lift a bunch of stuff.”

Myka had surrendered to eating sugar, in frankly pathetic quantities, to combat the roadkill feeling the day after. But that wasn't something she'd tell anyone, not even her best friend.)

“I didn't.” As nonchalant as you please.

Myka looked up, narrowed her eyes. “What does that mean?”

“It means, I didn't do it on short notice.” Helena glanced at her, assessingly. “It means I set up what I hoped would be a lure for the queen here. And once she's gone, the rest should shut down.”

“And you didn't think to tell us?” Myka was striding across the room, reaching out to — to strangle her, probably.

She told me, Steve interjected, and Myka stilled. The queen showed up sooner than anyone expected.

Pete might as well have punched her in the gut. We're supposed to be a team, Steve.

“Because we all know how much faith you have in my work.” Helena's momentary smile was saccharine, sardonic.

She sucked in a breath, mind reeling like the colors of a kaleidoscope. “I think you're brilliant,” slipped out. “You've got no common sense, but you're a genius. You're, what, five years older than me? And you've found a whole other universe. Like something out of one of your books.” Helena was staring at her, lips parted, that melting gaze soft and shocked. “You're just so stupid, and — and selfish sometimes!”

Incoming! Myka!

She didn't think, just grabbed Helena and jumped.

But she didn't have some destination in mind, not even some instinctive concept of safe harbor. And now Helena was here with her, floating in this strange stillness that was everywhere and nowhere. I'm sorry, she tried to say, but there was no way to hear.

Like being thrown under a waterfall, she had no idea which way was up, air, reality. Stupid stupid, she'd been so tired, she hadn't thought — and wasn't that what she always accused Helena of? The thing she feared most in herself, the not thinking, the reason for rules... So stupid.

She tried to picture the lobby they'd left, tried to reach for any anchor.

There, that stupid blinking laptop, she could almost see it, and the ceiling plaster raining down, the claws and slobbering mandibles and gigantic five-eyed frilled head.

She pushed Helena away, through, pushed her to stumble onto that ragged red lobby carpet, and then Myka met the monster's claws.

It thrashed, resisted, but Myka yanked it with her, and then everything went black.

[nerdylittleshit]

As 2018 came to an end I tried over the last days to catch up on some of the movies I wanted to see this year. There are still a lot of movies I haven’t seen yet, and I only included movies that were released this year, except for one (that is released in Germany, I know some already had their release in the US in 2017). So, time for some movies reviews. And let me know what you have watched this year, what you can recommend, and what I have missed. 

Arrival

Technical this movie was released in 2017, but I really wanted to include it in this list because it was so GOOD. The plot looks like your average Sci-Fi movie (overnight spaceships appear on earth), but it really isn’t. First of all the way the spaceships and the aliens are designed is really unique, and really gives you this feeling of something otherworldly. The main character is a linguist and her job is it to find out how to communicate with the aliens. I don’t think I ever thought as much about language as I did while watching this movie. And this movie had one of the best plot twists ever. First of all I didn’t see it coming (and yeah that says something), second it really changes how you watch this movie and third it changes the movie on an emotional level. I cried so much. 10/10

Your Name

It’s been a while since I watched an Anime movie, and this was one of the few that had a theatrical release in Germany (it’s also the most successfull Anime movie ever in Japan I think). The story centers around two teenagers, a girl from the countryside and a boy from Tokyo, who for some reason are able to switch their bodies for a day, which happens two or three times a week. They start to leave messages for the other while being in the other body and the starts as every other body-switch-comedy until at some point the body switch stops and the boy can no longer reach the girl. He starts to investigate and I won’t tell you more because the movie developed into a direction I hadn’t seen coming. It’s a beautiful, moving movie, and even if you normally don’t watch Animes you should make an exception for this one. 10/10

Black Panther

I admit that before this movie I knew little to nothing about this character, and while the trailer looked cool I had no huge interest in the movie. I only saw it because it was the last Marvel release before “Infinity War” and I wondered if there were any hints towards “Infinity War” (there aren’t). And then this movie completely blew me away. It is easily in my top 3 of all Marvel movies and I also think it is the best Marvel origin story. I loved Wakanda, I loved the world building, the music, the costumes, everything. This movie also has the best villian of any comic book movie. Because, let’s face it, most villians are forgettable. Killmonger however is different. Because never before I watched a movie where at some point I had to agree with the villian. Sure his methods were wrong, but not his motivation. And I think that if you make a movie about the first black superhero the question about race will always be the elephant in the room. Other directors might have a less serious, less political movie, but not Ryan Coogler. He asks complicated questions about race, about privilege, about responsibility, where there are no easy answers. This is both a big fun superhero movie, but it is also deeply political, because it can be both. And it is also a movie that you can totally watch without ever seeing a Marvel movie before, so don’t take that as an excuse. 10/10

The Shape of Water

I love Del Toro, I love the stories he tells, I love the way he uses colours in his movies, and this is no exception (though I think it is not his best movie). This movie is a fairytale. I don’t think it ever tries to be more, and it tells you so in the beginning, so don’t expect it to be more. It totally works that way, but the characters pretty much stay in the roles they have been given. It is also a story about outsiders, about the ones who don’t fit in our society, because they are women, or disabled, or people of color, or queer, or... fishman. This movie might be set in 50ies but in many ways the issues it adresses are still relevant. And the villian is very white, very male, very straight. And very American. I don’t think the movie was very sublte in its political messages. It’s a great movie, but I don’t think it was the best movie of the year. 9/10

Call Me By Your Name

Many moons ago I read the book this movie is based on. I’m not a huge fan of adaptions in general, because many times the book is simply better and not every story works on a big screen. However this movie somehow managed to evoke the same feeling in me that I had while reading the book. It is very sensual, and it also takes its time to tell its story (but so does the book). I really have to praise both Timothee Chalamet and Arnie Hammer, because so much is told through their faces alone. Quite a beautiful love story. 10/10

Lady Bird

I think this movie worked for me on a very personal level. It is set in 2002 and centers around a 17-year-old-girl and typical teenager problems. I was 13 in 2002 so this felt a bit like a trip down memory lane. Nothing about this story is new, and there are dozen of other coming of age movies, and yet this movie felt to me very personal and intimitate. It centers a lot around the relationship between the young girl and her mother, but never takes sides. Absolutely loved Laurie Metcalf in this movie, who played the mother. If you are not interested in young adult and/or coming of age stories or in general teenage girls this movie won’t work for you. But I loved it. 9/10

Annihilation

I probably wouldn’t have seen this movie in the theater and mostly watched it because it is on Netflix. It is visually stunning, and if you have the chance watch it on a big screen. The trailer made it look like a horror movie which it isn’t. Instead it is very dark Sci-Fi, with some (body)horror elements. The movie made me really uncomfortable and I think that was the intention of the director, but I failed to emotional connect with it. It is an interesting movie but read some trigger warnings before you watch it. 7/10

Avengers: Infinity War

This was probably the movie I was most exicted for this year. This movie really doesn’t work without context: if you never seen a Marvel movie before or maybe just one or two it won’t work for you. This movies depends that you know these characters, that you know their stories and their relationships to each other. All the emotional build-up happened in the movies before, so that this movie could largely concentrate on the plot. Give it to the Russo brothers to handle such a huge ensemble cast (though of course not every character got the same amount of screen time, but that’s ok). It is a hard to judge this movie because it really doesn’t work on its own. One of the few times the entire theater was silent during the end credits. If you love Marvel you will love this movie. 8/10

Deadpool 2

I might be in the minority but I liked the first Deadpool movie better. Maybe because the first was so new and unusual, but the second time a lot of the jokes didn’t work for me. Also the entire story arc around Vanessa.... please don’t. I don’t think this movie was bad, but I enjoyed the first one more. 7/10

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Someone said this is Star Wars fan fiction made into a movie and I think they are right. It is a fun and entertaining movie, but it kinda felt... unnecessary. If you are a hugh fan of Han Solo you will probably like this movie but as a general Star Wars fan... they could and should have released this story as a novel or comic and investigate the money for this movie in a more original story. 6/10

Ant-Man and The Wasp

First of all you can totally watch this movie if you haven’t seen “Infinity War”, just skip the post credit scenes. Second, it was a fun movie. Just as the first one. Hope aka Wasp played a bigger role, which I really liked. Compared to other Marvel movies this one felt small (pun inteneded) and focused a lot on personal relationships rather than saving the world. It is entertaining but doesn’t have the impact as “Black Panther” had. 7/10

Bohemian Rhapsody

I loved the casting, loved the costumes, the sets, the music. It was for the most part a very entertaining, very moving story. But if you are interested in Queen and/or Freddie Mercury please read additional to this movie a biography. A lot of the story felt to me very generic for a music movie. And they did a huge change towards the end of the movie, to make the story look more dramatic I guess, that I didn’t really like. 7/10

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Though it wasn’t perfect I really liked the first Fantastic Beasts movie and somehow everything I liked about it isn’t in this movie. We hardly learn anything about the French wizarding culture even though the story takes place in Paris. The Beasts are complete unneccessary for the story except for the Niffler. Characters make choices that seem illogical (Queenie). Major plot holes/logic errors (McGonagall, Creedence etc). Too much plot crammed into one movie. Some really problematic aspects (Nagini, Leta’s parents etc). And while the first Fantastic Beats movie worked on its own, this one was so full of Potter references you were probably lost if you never read the books. As a huge Potter fan I do hope J.K. Rowling has a master plan for the plot to make sense, and that next time an experienced script writer helps her to muddle through all of her ideas. 6,5/10

Mortal Engines

I saw this movie because a friend of mine wanted to see it and the Speampunk aesthetic looked really interesting to me. The look, the costumes, the music, the effetcs of this movie are great. The casting is ok. But man the story. Nothing you haven’t seen a million times before. The movie really had potional because of the world it is set it but unfortunately it wastes it. If you like Steampunk you can watch it but don’t expect too much of the story. 5/10

[filmista]

Stranger Things (Season 1)

“If anyone asks where I am, I’ve left the country.”

As a  lot of you know I usually review films and not tv series. ‘Big Little Lies’ has been the big exception, although that’s a mini-series and thus an easier to cover than a series with more than one season.

But I wanted to make another exception and cover another series that I’ve discovered lately, really gotten into and thoroughly enjoyed: it’s the hype of 2016 ‘Stranger Things’.

Now you can’t be a regular Netflix or Tumblr user and not have heard of ‘Stranger Things’. The hype definitely got to the cave I live in, I’ve had people ask me if I’d seen it and recommend it to me. As always I eventually caved. Because you do start to wonder if it’s acceptable to venture out in public and not have seen it... 

But as is usually the case, I’m always late to a hype and don’t get into it until much later. I thought it wouldn’t be for me because I thought it would mostly be an homage to 80’s cliches that I’m not too big a fan of.

Also, I have to admit that I’ve never been that big of a fan of the government is doing, secret, fucked up shit in some top secret lab… it has a tendency to go really big and stray too much from subtlety for my liking.

 Although one day I was home sick from school and had an entire day of couch sitting ahead of me, and the film I picked was ‘Super 8’ which judging from its storyline, should by no means have been something I’d enjoy. But I ended up quite liking that film, because of it’ focus on friendship. And a large chunk of the morning past with it.

Much the same happened with ‘Stranger Things’, I had heard of it but I never thought it’d be something for me, yes admittedly basically because of preconceived notions about it.

Eventually, curiosity did get the better of me and I decided to read up on it a little bit, and all the mostly positive reviews convinced me that there must be something to it.

“Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that’s ever happened here in the four years I’ve been working here? Do you wanna know the worst thing? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie’s head because it thought that her hair was a nest.”

So skip forward and there I was on the sofa watching ‘Stranger Things’, that same afternoon I watched the first two episodes, in less than a week I was done with it. And even though I didn’t love the first two episodes, I liked the atmosphere enough and there was enough tension at the end of the episodes to keep me watching.

I had conflicted feelings about the show at first, on the one hand, I actually thoroughly enjoyed the episodes and I wanted to watch the next one, but I also was always left a bit underwhelmed. It didn’t feel like nothing I hadn’t watched before to me.

‘Stranger Things’ is definitely a beautiful show, with all kinds of aesthetic wonderfulness, but its quality goes deeper than just the surface. While it does borrow heavily from 80’s films, there’s also a lot of nods to one of my favorite horror writers: Mr. Stephen King, I can’t be the only one that got ‘Carrie’ ( I love Carrie) vibes from Eleven.

It’s more than just about paying homage, to some of the sci-fi and horror from the 80’s, though it starts as a murder mystery and eventually goes full-fledged sci-fi,  it does without getting too overbearing kudos to that!

The creators of the show The Duffer Brothers clearly know the era they were working with and know their stuff, but the most important thing is that their love for the era and it's films, even it’s music shines through.

We all love some music, books, and films from the 80’s, though it is safe to say that not that many of us would like to live in it now being conscious of how hideous the fashion was, it really was…

So the Duffer Brothers took the 80’s and weren’t afraid to create something build upon existing elements of that time. But as I said ‘Stranger Things’ is much, much more than just a pretty show.

It’s well written, well acted, and man does it have fantastic music! (the soundtrack is my new to go to put on in the background while I’m working for class).

It’s acting is above the level of a lot of tv series, all of the actors, the child actors too give very strong and nuanced performances, they build their characters into so much more than just their 80’s archetypes.

Also how cool is it that 80’s and 90’s icon Winona Ryder is in this?! It builds around elements from known 80’s movies and it pays the era a loving, nostalgic glance.

“Yeah, that’s right! You better run! She’s our friend and she’s crazy!”

Stranger Things is set in the 80's in a small town in Indiana, Hawkins. A typical  “we all know each other town”, where really nothing ever happens. Until a boy, Will disappears without a trace one day. 

His three best friends are determined to find him. However, during their search, they do not find Will, but a mysterious girl. Without name but with supernatural powers. Meanwhile, Will’s mother is also convinced that Will still lives, despite the fact that every indication seems to prove the opposite- 

And believe me, there are still a lot more strange things happening in Hawkins. Like in many films and shows from the time, adults and children, coexist but it is seemingly in opposing planes, a lot of the parents are unaware of their children’s internal world.

This is especially so with some of the teens and their parents, the show illustrates that time when teens and adults begin to grow a little apart, beautifully. 

But in this show, a supernatural mix is also thrown into the equation, super secret shit of the government went wrong (when does it not?) and now there’s a dark, alternate version of the town within the town, inhabited by a monster (The Demogorgon)  that smells blood from miles away and feeds onto the inhabitants.

The people in the town that went missing get into this alternate version of the town called the upside down. Now the group of children figures this out sooner thanks to their mysterious new friend Eleven, Eleven true to the cliche was experimented on because of her supernatural powers, by the government in their evil, top-secret lab.

The younger people of the town are onto the truth much faster than some of the oblivious adults, and some adults also are sooner than others, some just stay oblivious to what goes on around them, like boring “enjoying your chicken Ted” the only one in the show, to never shed the skin of his stereotype and mutated into a more interesting one. 

Ryder’s character is one of the first adults that experiences that something supernatural is going on in the town, she doesn’t give up on her son, and comes to believe that he makes contact with her through the Christmas lights, and is thus still there.

Though of course in accordance to the cliche, she questions her own sanity first, but still, holds on to that beacon of hope no matter how ridiculous. And while some say Winona Ryder pulled some serious overacting here, that may be so but how would someone react if they lost their child?

She has others around her question her sanity, but the character that eventually comes to believe her and one of my favorite characters in the show overall: Chief Hopper.

It’s implied that Chief Hopper and Joyce somewhat have feelings for one another. And hopper himself lost his daughter, so he feels a lot of empathy and sympathy for Joyce, and is in the end always there to support her.

Now what I loved about chief Hopper, is that he’s not an overly macho policeman, he’s a very kind and sympathetic man, with a somewhat nervous disposition because of his past. 

He’s also an alcoholic of who we perfectly understand why he became one, but underneath all of that, there is still the same kind, loving man. And as a coffee lover, I love anyone that would say “Mornings are for Coffee and contemplation.”

There’s the group of kids, all perfectly played by the child actors.They illustrate perfectly that childhood friendships are some of the strongest we have in our life, but they also face disagreements. Though the star of all the kids is arguably, Millie Bobby Brown as Eleven.

She delivers an insanely nuanced and emotional performance for her age, she never falters in the role and stays strong throughout,  I can predict now (and I’m probably not the only one) that’s she’s going to be big one day.

Then there’s the teens and the adults. The show is in this regard mostly focused on two families, The Wheelers and The Byers. All of the adults in the Wheeler household are blissfully ignorant of the events happening in the town, except eventually teenage daughter Nancy (who’s my favorite character but I’ll get to her).

And the Byers household. Now Joyce’s son Jonathan, who’s the brooding, quiet kid, that’s discovered photography (another cliche) at first doesn’t believe his mother and thinks that she has lost her mind.

“Maybe I am a mess. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m out of my mind! But, God help me, I will keep these lights up until the day I die if I think there’s a chance that Will’s still out there!”

Until he too is confronted with the events. And later teams up with his crush Nancy to fight the Demogorgon. Now Nancy (played with brilliant subtlety by Natalia Dyer) who’s hideous layering style, I find secretly wonderful.

Nancy at the beginning of the show doesn’t really start out as a character that we love. She comes across, as the very shallow, somewhat bitchy older sister, that’s just found popularity, she’s dating in true 80’s fashion, an enormous douchebag.

She drags her best friend, the shyer Barbara to a party she really didn’t want to go to, chugs beer, ignores all of her friend's advice, and further ignores her to give into her hormones, and lose her virginity to the douchebag her friend warned her about.

But the really interesting thing about Nancy is that she grows, and eventually evolves from that storyline. Like in classic horror movie she would have died after this, only this show doesn’t do that her and gives her another chance- 

She realizes she made a mistake with her friend and sets out to repair the damage she made. In the meantime, she also befriends the kid, who’s not popular.

And she just becomes one of the biggest badasses in the show, being the first to willingly go into the upside down, and the first to devise a plan to kill the monster. Guys I just love Nancy. 

“I don’t think my parents ever loved each other. They must’ve married for some reason. My mom was young. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac… and started their nuclear family. Screw that.“

Which leads to the very cool moment of her training with a baseball bat a scene I love, she and Jonathan stocking up on stuff to face the monster with, and eventually fighting it. 

And she also moves away from her grumpy older sister image and restores her relationship with her younger brother. 

Perhaps the only decision she makes that some people would be bothered by, is her choosing Steve over Jonathan (at least in this season) but she still didn’t change her personality that much, she stayed true to who she is.

And Steve arguably was redeemed a bit in the end, as he tries to make up for his mistakes, and ditches his utterly awful friends.

Overall Stranger Things is a show with a great binge-ability factor, a clear love of and an ode to the 80’s, but that goes deeper than just becoming a copy of classic 80′s sci-fi and horror. 

But anyway what makes it great, is that as deep as it can be after you’ve had a deeper look at it (it took me a while to really warm up to it) you can also just enjoy it as you spent an entire afternoon watching. 

‘Stranger Things’ is probably one of the best-crafted shows on Netflix though, truly one of those shows, that transcends the quality, of what’s usually expected of it and becomes a true phenomenon. It was the most popular Netflix in 2016 in America, and with this outdid ‘Orange Is The New Black’ now that is a feat. 

It’s in quality just as good as any film. It builds up its atmosphere brilliantly, not only is at pretty and pleasant to look at (there are some great special effects and just beautiful use of colors and lighting) but it’s also all believable and makes sense.

Its atmosphere is dark throughout, it’s almost like an inverted fairy tale, it’s not every day that Christmas lights become something so dark and sad. But it also knows when to be lighter and let the audience breathe, so we get some very intense, sometimes slightly frightening scenes (this depends on how easily you scare I think though). Alternated with moments that are funny, or heartwarming.

It’s got a love of all things nerdy as well, the most important characters in it are huge nerds, and where these people would usually be the victims, here they’re the heroes and they get to stand up to their bullies. 

It has acting, that’s at the level of some films, no overdramatic, soap-like acting, everyone delivers strong and confident performances. And then there’s as I said that wonderful soundtrack, a true 80’s synth soundtrack.

In conclusion, I’d say ‘Stranger things’ is indeed worth the watch, though I like some people had some difficulty with the first two episodes. But once past those two, it consolidated itself into something with a high nostalgia factor, while still managing to become unique.

I for one, like I think many other people am all set to enjoy season 2 when it arrives on October 27th. Whereas for all the influences; there’s a great deal of them, Spielberg’s films being one of them, but all of those you can find plenty on the internet. 

[vestedbeauty]

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

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Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

Beating this periodic midlife rage thing is going to take some practice. Or bail money.

Ever shock your normally even-tempered and rational self with the realization you’ve become a fire-breathing midlife rage dragon? Damn, I hate when that happens.

But there we were, watching bad sci-fi, my sweet hubby and I.

The bad guy had just revealed his devious plan for… well, I can’t remember what he was up to, really.

“Oh, that’s William Devane,” hubby said.

No. It was most definitely not.

Fight or flight mode hit me hard. Like when I watch a horror film (through the gaps between my hands covering my eyes), I begged myself to be reasonable. Do NOT go into the dark. Don’t do it, girl. You’ll be sorry. This cannot end well. It’s not too late to…

Oh, but go, I did.

“You’re crazy, that’s not him. You always think it’s some other actor than who it is. Can’t you just watch the damned show and not make bold proclamations that are utterly incorrect?”

I went. 

Only in my mind, thank goodness for small wins.

Yup, wearing my annnnngry eyes.

Why So Grumpy?

To be clear:

Do I give a flying hoot about William Devane? No.

About sci-fi filmology? Absolutely not.

About being right? Ooooh. Busted.

And about my sweet hubby’s feelings and the relationship we are so consciously, carefully building? YES. Definitely, absolutely, and emphatically, yes. 

This is the man I chose to marry, not even a year ago. He’s the man I admire, respect, cherish, and enjoy. He’s the one I’ll go from midlife crank to elderly crone with… assuming I don’t push the self-destruct button on this marriage with this ridiculous prickliness. He is kind, brilliant, creative, strong, handsome, funny, sexy, deep, daring, principled, and fun.

Yet for some reason, midlife me sometimes kind of wants to go all Daenerys Targaryen on him (of all people) and scorch his wrong-actor-guessing ass into next week. To be honest, sometimes I let some of the flames loose. Not a full vent, but snappish enough that it’s shocking to both of us. And enough that I feel devastated, shocked, and betrayed by my own midlife-mad self. At this moment, I TOTALLY get Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

Only You Can Prevent Midlife Rage Forest Fires

We’ve talked about this, hubby and I. It’s painful even to remember how I’ve shown up during these crazy-headed scorched earth moments. Of course, he thought it was him, that he’d disappointed me somehow. It’s not him.

I mean, sure, he misidentifies actors. But is that REALLY a scorchable offense?

No way. But I know that if I don’t figure this out, I will torch everything I love, everything I hold dear, everything I’ve worked so hard to create. And that kind of midlife crisis – of my own making – is absolutely not okay.

I’m no stranger to personal development – current midlife bizarreness aside. Though I’ve created a life I love, sometimes something’s not working right in my mind. Maybe it’s hormones, and I’m going to look into that. 

Hormones or not, this is an experience I need to look at and understand so I can be and do better. I want to show up like me, with my normal level of weird rather than this super-sized serving of crazy. It’s definitely not him. That means it’s up to me to figure this out.

A (Not-So) Shocking Discovery about Midlife Rage

Stick with me a sec here.

As an empty nester, it’s been a kick to design my life. Our life. We get up without an alarm because we both work from home and own businesses. Usually, it’s about six or so. 

We eat far more culinarily interesting foods than we ever did when we were raising our families. 

Bedtime is – don’t laugh too hard – literally when our flock of chickens puts themselves to bed, around eight. I read a while, then sleep and get a solid eight hours each night. (I know midlife women often struggle to rack up enough zzzz’s, and someday I’ll tell you how I do it.)

Our house is cleaner than any I’ve ever kept. It helps a whole LOT that we have a wonderful cleaning lady who keeps on top of it all. I putter and clean and tidy up more than ever, but she’s the one who does the real work.

Puttering, in fact, has become a favorite part of my days. It’s therapeutic for me to create and maintain order. It’s also one way I get more movement into my day (I’m super sedentary during my work hours – I’m a writer).

You wouldn’t walk in and go, “WOW, that’s a clean house!” but most days you also wouldn’t run screaming from the mess.

I’ve discovered that I like order. In fact, I thrive in it.

Everything in its place, and a place for everything. 

I’m ruthless about decluttering. As a minimalist, it’s easy to feel suffocated by too much stuff. I’m also not all that fancy. OK, not fancy at all. I despise shopping. So, we don’t have the mountain of stuff many couples have. 

But while I seem to thrive on routine and tidiness, there’s a dark side that shows up in my thoughts. It shows itself in the form of a control freak. That feels like a new one for me.

OMG, I’m Procrustes

So, in Greek mythology, there was a baddie named Procrustes. He was infamous for his bed practices. (Not that kind.) He’d force his victims onto a bed, then either stretch them to fit it perfectly – or cut off any bits that hung over. Nice guy.

Oh. Nice me.

Turns out, I’m cool as long as everything fits my notions about what should be, cool. Same with anything else that might need to sync up.

But if something sticks out – or in, really – into the bubble of my thoughts, especially if I’m concentrating, indulging in story-driven entertainment, or if I’m lost in thought while mulling a work challenge… it’s time to sound the smoke alarm. Danger, Will Robinson!

Unless I notice the warning signs and take action to extinguish the blaze.

Well, Whaddya Know

Here’s what happens when I catch those sparks before they go wild. Something happens. I perceive it. Then I have a thought about it that sure seems to be entirely valid and accurate. Next, there’s a feeling followed by a surge of energy that demands release. 

Are you kidding me? THIS again? This is the same freaky way my brain behaved when I had a binge eating disorder. How on earth do I not have this solved and beat it for good?

Oh. It’s the way the human brain works. OK, fine. At least I’ve got the tools that worked every single time I’ve ever actually bothered to use them.

Rather than fly off the handle (or eat two rows of Oreos while standing over the sink with a glass of cold milk), I can stop for a moment and go:

Hey brain, whatcha doing here?

Oh, you have a thought. Cool. Let’s hear it.

My, that’s an interesting one.

Is there possibly another way to look at this? Or do you really just want to go ahead and do that thing you think you want to do? I mean, you can but make sure you realize you have a choice in this.

That’s kind of the gist of it. It’s a matter of throwing the brake lever on the train long enough to make an intentional choice about what comes next. I’ve been up and down the tracks long enough to know where they head, and how hard it can be to stop that freight train if I reach a certain point.

And really, despite all appearances when I’m in the throes of a temper tantrum, I’m typically a very happy and chill person. I adore my husband and enjoy him thoroughly. It’s a delight to live in my skin, because I’ve chosen it to be that way.

So, if all I need to do in the heat of fury is to take a beat to breathe and choose, that’s pretty doable. That doesn’t mean I’ll always do it, or even remember to do it. But if I choose not to master my own mind and the experiences I create, life’s going to suck… by choice. Sounds worth it to me.

This Is Not Entirely Unfamiliar Territory

I have many, many, many happy memories of my grandparents, and I was blessed to have most of them around well into my 40’s. But I also have memories of incidents that were puzzling at the time – and now make sense – of my grandmother whipping out a dragon of her own. My grandfather would be telling a story. She’d interject corrections throughout. It wasn’t that day, that place, that person, that meal, that… Every single detail of his story was subject to her correction. I always felt bad for him when it would happen, and annoyed with her for creating such an unpleasant situation for everyone witnessing it.

Fast-forward a few decades, and I’m about to flip my shit over not-William-Devane. I am utterly grateful for this bad memory of Grandmommy because it’s like a canary in the coal mine for me. She did her very best, and did so without the world of personal development that I can access with a few clicks. She didn’t have podcasts, blogs, videos or books aplenty to help her sort her grumpy midlife self out.

I do.

And I will.

And if you’re also finding yourself baffled by your own sudden snappish tendencies and sudden midlife rage, maybe we can figure this out together. It might save lives. 

Want to Do this Together? (I promise not to breathe fire on you!)

If you were to examine this blog closely, you’d notice a humongous gap between posts. Before, to be honest, I had in mind to build an affiliate site and nothing more. I had several sites going, covering everything from gifts to health to pet rats to magical uses of marijuana (we’ll talk about that someday if you want). It was exhausting. There was no way to keep up. Shiny object syndrome had me in perpetual busyness, but it was like running on a treadmill – it went nowhere.

Now, there’s another driver. I’m realizing that maybe I don’t have to have this midlife thing sorted out. Let alone the whole midlife rage thing. But, there’s no need to be an authority. No requirement to have all the answers. Instead, I can just document this journey and report back the discoveries back to you.

Pretty much every midlife woman I know has a lot of puzzles to solve. (I’ve adopted that distinction – a very smart guy I work for says, “There are no problems, just puzzles.”) Being an alliteration addict, I’ve got a bunch of M’s that fit here. 

As midlife women, we’re sorting out our:

Mindset

Movement

Metabolism

Mind (like, how it functions)

Marriage

Money

Makeup and hair

Mission (why are you here?)

Meals

And a bunch more, like our kids, grandkids (someday), friends, etc. They don’t fit neatly into those M’s… though I swear I will find a way! (Darnit… Procrustes has ways but let’s not go there!)

Anyhow, if you’re up for taking a wild and all-over-the-place ride with me, let’s do it. I sure can’t promise it’s going to be smooth, consistent, or pretty. But that’s kind of alright, too. We can just show up as-is, be real, and grow together. 

Deal?

P.S. I just showed this post to my sweet hubby. He liked it. Then he muttered, “I still think it was William Devane.” Guess he’s a little pig-headed, too.