#4. fuck your saviour complex

[timetravellingkitty]

I'm not listening to a white person on what's racist or insensitive to brown people. read orientalism by edward said before talking to me or my son ever again

[spacerockfloater]

“The Targaryens/ Valyrians are not white supremacists and can’t be compared to European Colonisers!”

Oh? My bad then. I must have them confused with some other white folks who thought their appearance made them superior, brought whole continents to heel, exploited the lands of others for their own greed, destroyed whole civilizations and enslaved vulnerable people who unfortunately lacked the advanced weapons of mass destruction they possessed.

“Well, the Andals and the First Men were also colonisers, so they deserved it!”

No way! Are you actually telling me that every race has a history of violence because human nature itself is corrupt and we’re no better than animals fighting for their place on this earth? That’s so crazy and original. By the way, are you saying that people deserved to get colonised and enslaved because they were fighting other people in order to survive? Are you suggesting these “savages” should have been contained by the righteous white folks who came there to better their lives? Not to mention that the Andals and the First Men came to Westeros 12,000 and 6,000 years ago respectively, while the Targaryens attacked Westeros barely 130 years ago (literally just 3 - 4 generations) from the Dance of the Dragons? So are you comparing the morality of the people who migrated here, who were so primitive that barely even possessed weapons of steel, with that of the most advanced civilization ever built in the ASOIAF universe? That’s so interesting! It’s almost as if the Andals and the First Men didn’t know any better until it was too late and were trying to find a land that could accommodate their millions of people, so they were essentially fighting for survival, whereas the Targaryens who came from a race that had evolved philosophically, politically, academically and technologically wise, possessed enough wealth and land to sustain their little family, yet still chose to go to war against the land that nurtured them out of pure greed! Hmmm. Do you also believe that the Greeks had it coming when they were enslaved by the Ottomans and should just let go of the past because it’s been so long since they regained their freedom (barely 200 years ago btw, after 4 centuries of slavery), because their Ancient Ancestral Tribes migrated to Greece and conquered the land 3,500 years ago, a little after the age of bronze? No? Then you might see why that kind thinking is flawed.

Stop defending these inbred bastards with your full chest. We get it. They look badass. We all have a fave war criminal but all of the Targs need to be put to the sword, along with their fucking lizards. Purposely denying the parallels between the Targaryens/ Valyrians and the Colonisers/ Conquerors of our world screams white saviour complex.

[searchingforglendowerwithleah]

The Raven Boys Rizz Ranked

6. That one cray guy who tried to seduce his crush by kidnapping his crushes little brother and stuffing him into a car which is suprisingly not effective. Heard he died which is kinda awkies.

5. In almost dead last is ironically everyone’s favourite evader of death. You guessed right! Gansey boy!!! Reading through his first interaction with Blue was so painful I almost permanently died. However, credit were credit is due because he did somehow get with her at the end but he is just lucky Blue is deadsexual.

4. Ronan - bless his heart he tried but fuck is he embarrassing to watch sometimes. I’m not even going to detail all of the second hand embarrassment I had watching him flirt. But hey at least he didn’t call his crush a prostitute and then try and set them up with his bestie because of his saviour complex and crippling lack of self worth. Also his lil gifts were so sweet like A+ for effort.

3. The bisexual king himself Adam Parrish who could pull anybody in Henrietta with complete and utter ease. His only downfall is being kinda creepy being possessed by a forest and all but you know what some people find that hot (not me of course …). ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ADAM IN A LEATHER JACKET BECAUSE WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT ENOUGH. Also you know the line in call down the hawk where he was like I need to take off your clothes!!! Damn he is kind of being robbed at 3rd.

2. My husband and everyone’s favourite man whore DECLAN TADHG LYNCH. My boy pulled 3 Ashley’s is a row and the goddess that is Jordan and he had me giggling at every single turn. Nothing is more seductive than a plain white guy with stomach issues and an art kink. Everyone hated you because they weren’t you and that’s why all of the bitches who slut shamed him *cough*Gansey*cough*Adam*cough*Ronan *cough* are ranked lower than him. Also his murder spree in Greywaren is the sexiest scene ever written, you cannot argue me on this. PSA: before anyone comes with for me for putting him above Adam just remember there is textual evidence of Adam literally learning to flirt off of Declan after observing him in trb. HE WAS THE TRENDSETTER.

1. Noah - Sometimes being creepy and dead can have it’s benefits. He saw his opportunity to kiss Blue and he fucking ran with it. He really said I know someone you could kiss 🤭 and I admire that confidence which I firmly believe makes him extremely deserving of 1st place. The ability to pull bitches whilst literally decomposing is quite frankly unbeatable.

[skayafair]

Daaaaaaaaaamn this boy has absolutely no idea how to process his feelings *head in hands*

^ this is about episode 4 ending by the way

And, well, yes, Crystal does refocus any talk about others' problems to hers, okay. Usually there's at least a bridge of "yeah I get you, it's really rough" before sharing your own experience to connect, but she just goes straight to "And I...". Which... honestly she has every right to, but it's also her old self talking, yes.

I'm a bit stuck on Charles' "I cant help her, I can't help you, I can't help anyone or anything" because. It's so damn familiar. It's not that he can't help anyone - he does so plenty. It's not even that he can't SAVE anyone - they DO. But he can't see this, because the ones the closest to him are the ones he cannot save. This isn't about helping, that's a fucking saviour complex. An "if I'm not useful or helpful they don't need me", only just "helping" has never been enough now, has it? It's never enough, whatever you do. Moral support or help with research, little daily things are help, too. But it doesn't count. It has to be big, something you can't overlook, and it has to be final, to make who you're trying to save happy, forever. Only it's not possible. That's why the saviour complex is so bad - you can't save someone whose life is not over over completely, forever. You can only help bit by bit, but it won't ever be enough for you, because it has never been enough for someone big and important in your life, someone from family.

I kinda knew where exactly my - the same - issues stemmed from but never looked at it from this specific angle. I didn't connect the dots at first because Charles had an actual physically abusive parent while for mine it's just narcissistic tendences, but. Honestly the general outline is too familiar and I was tiggered and more perceptive today so yeah, thanks again for the insight, DBD.

The feeling of "I can't help my best friend, I can't help my family, I can't help anyone or anything, so what's even the point of me at all?" is too familiar. And I believe the show didn't create a resolution for Charles' problem, more like put it on hold because there were more pressing matters at hand. If we get season 2, I hope it developes this theme further. I need someone to tell him "your worth has nothing to do with this".

Speaking of which, I can't help being astonished at how psychologically accurate and nuanced the show is. With all the characters, really, but Charles' case is the most obvious, I think. The way he's always drawn to the same kind of people and - wow, Charles, that was unusually perceptive! - even noticed it himself? What he didn't notice yet is that this is the kind of people not only with similar personality traits, but also unavailable. Edwin's metaphorical walls, Crystal being alive and honestly just not very interested? Both are rather rude and I couldn't help noticing how uncomfortable Charles often looks when either of his sweethearts is at it again. I could almost see the cogs in his head turning, figuring out how to balance out yet another moody fit of theirs, be it Edwin or Crystal. And not being offended by obvious insults? Hell, Crystal noticed it right away. Yeah he's used to it with Edwin but that's not normal??? There's nothing good about it??? Have some self-worth, boy!

And. Well. Chasing after an unavailable partner is a totally common thing with this kind of trauma. Toxic relationship is the only normal you know. The only kind of "love" you know. If it doesn't hurt even a little, doesn't have these highs and lows, if you don't have to accomodate another's fits - what are we even talking about, yeah?

Charles is honestly lucky though. Edwin tries to be nicer, amitting his flaws, and generally they are pretty well-balanced and keep growing together (but there's always room for developement). Crystal is doing her best and is caring all over as well. The intent is there and it's good at its heart.

But I'm still waiting for the resolution. "You're the best man I've ever known" doesn't cut it.

Also it would be REALLY interesting to see Charles' developement in s2 because while Crystal is probably still off-limits due to the whole the living and the dead thing (and she wants to be friends), Edwin has opened up. Are there going to be any changes in this regard, because this isn't even about romantic or platonic and the orientation, it's about the dynamic in whole? Or is this going to be glossed over? I mean, when Crystal was being emotionally available as a friend - same episode 4 - Charles got angry fot prying. He doesn't know how to deal with all this but has made some progress. Will we see more of it?

We need season 2 SO. BAD.

[corn-fanfiction]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Pt. 4)

(Pt. 3)

Rated: M

TAGS: language/past abuse/stalking/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/sensuality/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p

Mark can't sleep that night because of the one thought that turns over in head on repeat.

Who the fuck was at your apartment?

Compartmentalize.

1. Mark is Jigsaw

2. Mark is not hunting you

3. Jigsaw is not hunting you

4. Someone else is hunting you

5. The police think Jigsaw is hunting you

6. He'll likely have to continue watching you unless you put up a fight about it.

At the end of it all last night, you seemed to hate him

And for some reason, that's the part that bothers him the most. Did you somehow think he's the one stalking you? You have no reason to suspect him of anything.

Of course, he's not stupid. He saw the look in your eyes last night. You put up a nonchalant front, but you are terrified of something- someone. That's who has to be hunting you.

Mark feels a sort of tightening in his chest. Is it because he's somehow jealous? Like no one can commit such acts other than him?

Or, shock of all shocks, he's come to care about you in some small measure?

He has to admit, as he stares at his bedroom ceiling, that he's grown fond of you, in the ways he can. This, despite you intentionally antagonizing him.

His biggest gripe before last night was that his work as Jigsaw has been out on an indefinite hold, and now that hiatus will have to continue.

This puts Mark in two compromising positions:

Find who's stalking you.

Dispel any concerns that Jigsaw is hunting you.

Both are difficult but the latter will be impossible if he can't get away from you. Shit, maybe you should ask for a different officer.

The thought makes him feel strange. It haunts him until he steps into the precinct the next morning. With a heavy sigh and bags under his eyes, Mark stalks to his office with a cup of coffee in hand. But when he opens the door, he finds you standing inside, arms across your chest, staring out the window.

You turn at the sound and he clocks immediately that you didn't sleep, either. He hesitantly closes the door behind him and takes a seat at his desk.

“I'm gonna be honest. I didn't think I was gonna see you again after last night.”

You move your arms to wrap around yourself.

“Yeah. About that. I know that you only ever try to- that you only ever help me.”

You bite your lip and come to sit across the desk from him.

“I have a hard time opening up. Especially to men. Especially in positions of power.”

What a damn fool Mark feels like. He suddenly realizes how he recognizes you.

He sees the same strands building through you as he did Angie.

“So…what didn't you tell us? What didn't you tell me?”

“I wasn’t at the plant by random chance. And…I know who was at my apartment. “

“Not Jigsaw, was it?” It’s a statement, because of course he knows it’s not Jigsaw.

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“I couldn't tell the cops why I was really there that night. So I can't tell you.”

He’d laugh if he isn’t so genuinely curious what the truth of the situation is.

“You have to.”

“The fuck I do.”

Your abruptness forces the next words out of his mouth. “Don't force me to do something neither of us want. You tell me, and I'll decide if it's a secret worth keeping.”

You squint at him with scrutiny. “Why would you do that?”

“Personal interests. Why were you at the plant that night?”

He watches your eyes narrow at some middle-distance point.

“My ex-boyfriend. Cliche, I know. He was horrible in all the ways you could imagine him being. I think that, if he hadn't been arrested, I never woulda left him.” You take a shaky breath.

“What'd he go to prison for?”

“Assault, battery, theft, drug charges, you name it. And yet, before two weeks ago I never stepped foot in this building. He was released early on parole- good behavior if you can believe it. I never said anything. People like me don't often get justice and, no offense, the PD doesn't have the best reputation.”

Mark rolls a pen between his fingers and the desk.

“And? You went looking for him?”

“Yes.”

“To confront him?”

You take a breath. “I was gonna kill him. At least, that's why I went there. But once I was outside I just…couldn't do it. That's when I saw Jigsaw. Or, at least I think I did.”

Mark nods and mulls over your words. It makes sense so far, even if some of the moves are stupid. “Okay… I understand why you wouldn't tell the cops you were there to kill your boyfriend-”

“Ex-”

“But what if he's the Jigsaw killer? Ever think of that?”

That’s right. Get the target as far away as possible.

You shake your head too fast for his convenience. “No, he couldn't be.”

He can’t help the bite that comes with your words. “Why the hell not?”

“He's a bastard, and some days I do wish he were dead. The things he did…but he's not a killer. He's also not smart enough to pull something like that off.”

“What if he's muscle? Doing Jigsaw's dirty work?”

“He's not.”

“Then why the hell would he show up back in your life?”

“I think… When someone let slip that I was a witness, and what I saw and where…he probably figured out I was looking for him. It's stupid. But I'm still scared.”

“You said he's not a killer.”

The look in your eyes makes him sick. “There's things worse than death, Mark. Things I know he's not above doing. But he's not a meticulous serial killer. He just isn't.”

Mark takes a moment to think in silence, slowly turning his chair back and forth. You shift in your seat, antsy.

“Look, you don't have to believe me but that's the truth of it. The whole truth.”

Then, a thought strikes him.

“Well…what if you told the police you think he's the Jigsaw killer?”

You freeze. Your mouth falls open.

“What, lie again?”

He spreads his hands like it’s obvious. “There's a chance he'd end up in jail, probably get a life sentence. Then he can't hurt you or anyone else ever again.”

“I want him to answer for his crimes, not someone else's. And if he goes to jail, then the real Jigsaw killer would still be out there hurting people. And then he'd be let go anyway. Why would you even suggest something like that?”

A look of disgust comes across your face and he’s genuinely taken aback at your reaction. His next words are honest.

“I just want to help you. Protect you.”

“If Ted goes to prison and Jigsaw kills again because I lied, then I'm complicit in murder. You get that right?”

“So, what? We just keep doing this dance until…?”

“No. I know I lied and I’m sorry about that. You can tell the chief that you think I’m not in anymore danger-”

“He won’t believe me-”

“You can even tell them I lied. But…it’s not fair to you to be strung along because of something I said.”

He watches you. You…feel remorse? For protecting yourself?

The image of Angie mutilated flashes across his eyes and he squeezes them shut, shakes his head.

“I’m not going to do that. We’ll wait this out. You’ll stay safe. If Ted pulls something like this again, we’ll get him. That’ll confirm that he’s the one stalking you and then this whole thing can be put to bed.”

When he’s plotting, he doesn’t notice you watching him. If he had, he would’ve noticed the confusion and then the dawning realization on your face. He cares about you. He won’t tell your secrets. He’ll lie for you.

He looks at you and you nod your head.

“Y-yeah. Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Mark stands and you follow suit. He tries to gauge a reaction as he places hands on your shoulders. You don’t move, don’t tense. Then, carefully, he pulls you into a hug.

You sigh into him and the sound tightens his chest. Maybe he sees too much of Angie in you. Maybe he's glad to have someone else to protect. Or maybe…

You must be compelled by some strange force because when he pulls away, you've got your hands on his lapels, then one on his cheek.

And before you can get any further, Mark pulls your hand down, his palm dwarfing yours, and he sighs.

“It would be… problematic to take advantage of you.”

He's a serial killer. A sadist. Why should he care?

You bite your lip. “And how would you be doing that?”

“I'm in a position of power.”

And yet he doesn't move.

“Protecting me. Following me. Let's face it. You talk big shit but if I say jump, you don't even ask how high. You just do it.”

A growl reverberates from deep in his throat. He's uncontested. Always in control.

But here…he doesn't move.

You put your hands on him again. Your fingers curl under his lapels again and this time you use the grip to pull him down to you as you kiss him. You don't get too heated with it. Just to test the waters.

He returns the kiss, though. You feel good. Your lips seem to fit perfectly with his and, to his surprise, he doesn't mind you taking over.

At least, not first.

You back him up to the desk and with the impact he's forced to sit. He feels a hand snake down to palm at his hardening crotch and when he gasps, you take the opportunity to slip a tongue in his mouth.

“How many times have you fantasized about this?” You ask against his panting breaths.

“About this? Not yet. But me bending you over my desk and fucking you from behind? Plenty.”

“Wouldn't kill you to give up some control now and then,” you whisper, undoing his belt.

“It would, actually.”

He watches through lust-hazed eyes as you sink to your knees between his legs.

Christ, it's too good to be true.

He uses his hold on your hair to gently guide you away from his crotch.

“As much as I love this view- and make no mistake, I do love it. I think we should save it for later. This carpet’ll ruin your knees.”

He helps you up and pecks you softly on the lips.

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

You smooth down the front of his jacket where you rustled it.

“Such a gentleman.”

“Better than taking you straight home.”

“Not here?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and leans in to whisper.

“Because when you cum, I want it to be as loud as possible.”

He relishes in the way you shudder from his words. But you compose yourself quickly enough to catch him before he pulls away.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.”

And you bite his ear and it takes everything in himself to not take you right here and now.

“You gonna get home alright?” He asks, his eyes softening.

“Yeah, I'll make it.”

“Nah, I'll drive you home. Gotta run an errand anyway.”

“Shit. You gonna become one of those possessive guys that never lets me out of your sight?”

“Don't tempt me.”

You gather yourself and he follows you out the door of his office, but not until he gives your ass one final squeeze.

[late-to-the-party-81]

For the very first time - Chapter 4

[or 5 times the Cap Quartet slept with each other and 1 time they slept all together]

AN: As promised, two for the price of one today to make up for the gap in posting. If you're seeing this, make sure you have checked out Chapter 3 first. This is also set during the events of CA:TWS @catws-anniversary.

Once again, many thanks to @kingofsorrow20 for beta-ing

Likes are loved, reblogs are golden.

Mood board by me and dividers by @firefly-graphics

Join my tag list here

Master list

Chapter Summary: Getting blown up at Camp Lehigh was unexpected and so was Steve’s reaction to it. Nat can’t say she’s mad about it, in fact she’s pleasantly surprised. 

Chapter Relationship: Nat x Steve

Chapter Word count: 1.6k

CW: Teasing, Danger kink, Friends to lovers, Rough Sex, Vaginal sex, Quickie, Captain Kink

Nat and Steve - May 2014

Getting blown up at Camp Lehigh was not what Nat had thought would happen today, but then again she wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when she and Steve decided to go down this rabbit hole. A cache of data, to be sure? But a cache of data stored within the computerised mind of a Nazi/Hydra genius brought to the US as part of Operation Paperclip? That had definitely not been one of the things she had anticipated.

However, somehow, she was still alive, which was all thanks to Steve, his shield and his cute - but also annoying - saviour complex. 

She coughed as the dust settled around them, her body protected by Steve and his disc of Vibranium. He was laid on top of her, and despite her own strength, Steve was still a big man and Nat was starting to feel a little crushed.

“Umm, Steve. Can you get up?”

She could hear him breathing, so he was alive, but he didn’t respond. Maybe he was knocked out? It took a lot for that to happen, but it wasn’t impossible. She tried a tentative wriggle, to see if she could get out from under him, but two things brought her to a halt. The first was Steve’s voice, ragged and deep. 

“Nat, for the love of god, just stay still for a moment.”

The second was the sensation of something pressed against her buttocks. Something that was apparently the reason for Steve wanting her to stay still. 

Nat couldn’t help it. She started to giggle.

“Steve? Are you turned on by being pressed against me, or is it the danger that’s got you all fired up?”

She couldn’t see his face, but could imagine the blush that was making its way up his neck.

“I plead the fifth,” was his mumbled response, and the imp on Nat’s shoulder took control.

“Is that why you turned down all those dates I tried to set you up on? Not enough danger for you? Who knew America’s golden boy was so kinky?” She gave a tentative shimmy of her hips.

“Nat…” Steve ground out, one of his hands curling harder into her hip and Nat grinned to herself. 

It was the most ridiculous thing. They were in the ruins of a Hydra bunker, surrounded by rubble and dust and god knows what else, and here she was teasing her friend about the erection that was digging into her butt. She had started to wonder if Steve had no interest in women at all, although the kiss they’d shared on the escalator - and Steve’s reaction afterwards - had all but disabused her of that notion. 

Also, she wasn’t blind - she could see what a cute and good-looking guy he was - she just hadn’t thought he was interested in her like that, hence both her interlude, and then further conversation, with Sam those few days ago. But what if…

She wiggled again, in a way that couldn’t be considered either accidental or an attempt to get out from under him.

“Stop!” Steve barked, and a shiver went through Nat’s body at the authority in his voice. 

“Or what, Captain? You gonna take out your battle lust on me?” Yeah, she was being a teasing brat, but if that was what it took for Steve to lose his composure, then so be it.

“For fuck’s sake, Nat. Just stay still. It’ll go away in a minute and then we can never talk about this again.”

“But that’s boring, Steve. And what if I’m not adverse to you taking out your battle lust on me? What if the idea of you just fucking me and taking what you want excites me? You know I can take it.”

She heard his heavy gulp and the sharp indrawn breath. Felt the infinitesimal twitch of his hips.

“Stop joking with me. Y-you don’t know what you’re saying,” he all but stuttered.

“I’m not joking and I think I do. I’m a big girl, Captain. When was the last time you just let yourself go? When did you last just fuck? Have you ever?” She ground her hips back in a slow circle against his crotch and listened to him groan. “Think how good it would be? Just to sink inside and rut into me until I’m overflowing and crying out your name?”

“Fuck. Fuck! If I start, I won’t be able to stop, Nat. I won’t.”

“Then don’t. Let it out, Steve. Fuck me. Fuck me here in the rubble like the animals we are.”

With a sound akin to a roar, Steve pushed up from the ground and back onto his knees, pulling Nat up with him, his right arm looped around her narrow waist. She turned her head over her shoulder and Steve crashed his lips to hers.

She’d been in charge of that first kiss, but this one was definitely being run by Steve. Nat didn’t know why she’d thought he couldn’t kiss, because this - this - was mind blowing. This wasn’t Steve Rogers, this was the Captain, and he was doing what she’s said he could - taking what he needed. 

His tongue pushed into her mouth and his teeth nipped at her lower lip. His left hand palmed her breast through her top and his right had dropped down to work on the fastening of her pants. With the zipper dealt with, Steve pushed them roughly down to her knees, along with her underwear.  His large fingers wasted no time zero-ing in on her core, pushing between her folds and deftly finding her clit. Fuck, she hadn’t expected this either - hadn’t expected Steve to be so self-assured and well, good at this. However, he definitely knew what he was doing, as sparks of pleasure shot through her.

Nat moaned into the kiss, her own right hand covering Steve’s as he teased her and spread her slick over her sex. “Remember that you asked for this, Nat. I’m not gonna go easy on you,” Steve warned, his voice dark and menacing, and Nat shuddered again, filled with a dark want.

“Give it your best shot, Captain.”

Steve suddenly pressed two of his fingers inside her, and Nat groaned at the stretch, her head falling back against Steve’s shoulder and her legs spreading as far as they could with her pants still wrapped around her knees.

“You’re so tiny, Nat. Gotta get you ready for me,” Steve purred in her ear, his thrusting fingers creating lewd, wet sounds. “Think you can take a third one yet?”

“Yeah,” she breathed out. “I can take it.” Steve took her at her word, easing his index finger in alongside the others. “Oh, god!” Nat’s moan echoed around the collapsed building and she bucked her hips into Steve’s hand. She raised her left hand, threading it into Steve’s hair and harshly clutching a fistful. “Fuck me, Steve. Come on! Just do it!”

Steve dipped his head, lips trailing over her neck as he let go of her breast to free himself from his slacks. “Never let it be said that my mother didn’t raise a gentleman. Gonna give you everything you’ve asked for.” He pulled his fingers from Nat’s pussy with a wet squelch and before she could even take a breath, he’d replaced them with his cock, pushing inside her with one firm thrust.

Nat swore she saw the back of her own head with how hard her eyes rolled. Steve’s slick soaked hand went back to her clit, rubbing rough circles as his hips snapped, fucking into her as deep as he could manage in this position, his cock rubbing against the inside of her channel in just the right way.

Nat didn’t even try to hold back her cries. There was no-one around for miles, and even if there had been, she wouldn’t have even cared. In all of her teasing of Steve, she hadn’t realised how much she also needed this. 

This was fucking. There was nothing gentle or tender about it. It was raw and animalistic. A way to release the tension and make use of the adrenaline rushing through both their veins and she fucking loved it.

“You gonna come, Nat? Are you going to be a good girl for your Captain?”

Where the fuck had Steve’s dirty mouth come from, Nat thought. It was a good thing he wasn’t like this most of the time or she’d be walking around SHIELD with permanently wet panties. Although if she had known that Steve had this within him, she would’ve jumped his bones long ago. All that fantastic sex wasted. Fingers crossed Steve would be up for an encore some time soon.

“Yes,” she breathed out. “I’m gonna come, Captain. Oh, fuck. Gonna…”

Her whole body went taut, and then the coil snapped inside her, pleasure fanning out in waves reaching the ends of her hair and the tips of her toes simultaneously. She was aware of Steve reaching his own peak with a roar, his cum flooding her insides and leaking back out to run down her legs. She sagged into his hold, trusting in his ability to hold her upright until they were both ready to move again.

However, as wrung out as she was, she couldn’t help but tease him a bit more.

“So, what about Sam? Would you go on a date with him?”

She almost heard Steve roll his eyes.

“Will you quit it, Nat?”

Chapter 5

Tag list: @km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989, @kombatfather1796, @christywrites, @doasyoudesireandlive, @sonatabee-blog, @endlesstwanted

[cosmic-pheonix]

Feeling bored and unmotivated in posting stuff (and probably in a need for some interaction with fellow moots/followers). Saw a post on Twitter on everyone sharing their cartoon crushes. (In case you missed it!)

I decided to be brave and share my fictional crushes! 😖🫡 Feel free to either agree or roast me! (Civically of course!) I'd love to see others fictional crushes and gush over them as well! So don't be shy in sharing them under the replies!

So to first start off...

Him💜

The 1st pic and GIF of him always does something to me (My god...)

Yami Yugi/Atem (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) | Main Crush - My first anime fictional crush 💜✨🌟 (and still is to this day! And has been recently the cause for all those self ship/self insert reblog posts on my other blog, as embarrassing as it sounds....) This man has inadvertently popped back into my brain all of sudden and slowly got me back to hyper fixating on YGO, (in the year of our lord saviour 2024), specifically for him 💜! There's really a plethora of reasons why I enjoy and appreciate him as a character (ie his personality, aura, kindness, complexity and flaws as a character, his voice - both in English and Japanese 😳 etc. - if anyone's interested maybe I might make a seperate post about it and share my headcanons for him perhaps)

2. Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) - Do I really need to say anything? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Same reasons applied as Yami/Atem really! The guy’s iconic, what can I say?

3. Dartz (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM) - Unpopular opinion/hot take but I think he’s pretty underrated as a villain (fuck him for making Yami Yugi cry + manipulating him and everyone else - Affectionately?? Just so my words don’t get twisted out of context, I’m appreciating him as a villain/character here, so don’t get it twisted). Is the story a hit or a miss or is it necessary? Can’t really say for sure, sorry🤷🏾‍♀️.

It’s been a long time I watched YGO, so go easy on me and take it with a grain of salt. All I will say honestly, is that I really like his design, him as a character (I think there’s a lot of missed potential that could’ve been explored more) and his voice (English preferably, Wayne Grayson’s performance as Dartz really did it for me! No hate towards the Japanese VA/Dub, just a preference towards his eng voice)

4. Pantalone (Genshin Impact) - Okay, so here’s the thing with him…If I happen to come across a guy with this much drip, charm and mysterious aura, with glasses to boot than I’m already sold! I haven’t played much Genshin in a long time, so I’m not sure what role he plays into the story. (I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories, though no spoilers please! 😊)

I’ve only seen snippets of clips and fanart of him and the fatui from here and there, but I hope he’s playable in the near future.

If Arlecchino (Father - MORE LIKE DADD-), can become playable in the future, then so can he (among other fatui members, aside from Childe).

5. Boothill (Honkai Star Rail) - I don't know about you guys, but ever since he's been leaked (and now recently added to the game have seen his character trailer - the way he just sauves and moonwalked like the smooth criminal he is did it for me!) I just adore him - Design, personality, voice everything! I love me a spunky, sassy rootin tootin space ranger cowboy that loves to cause havoc and chaos! (and serves cun-) I just think he’s neat! (Also is it just me or does his theme song in the character trailer sounded something you would hear in a freakin Ford Truck Commercial, his theme screams pure “America. Freedom, F yeah!” Vibes. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THIS?! I JUST FIND IT FUNNY TO ME)

6. Miguel O'Hara (Across The Spiderverse) - Haven’t seen the movie yet (dw I plan to watch it but PLEASE NO SPOILERS!) but this man is everywhere and I don’t blame you! I’ve seen fanart/edits of him (especially ones whenever they show his fangs 😳👀) and honestly it’s on me because I been rewatching ColeyDoesThings video on him and it immediately got me back to start watching the spider verse movies (it’s on my to do list) So thanks Coley! (You should go check out her YouTube videos on everything fandom related, it’s great!)

UPDATE: Got another honourable mention! ✨⭐️

7. Lycaon (Zenless Zone Zero) - I’ve recently started playing ZZZ and so far it’s pretty fun! I’ve seen so many clips and fanart of this dude it’s not even funny. He’s pretty cool and got a nice design and voice. And that’s all I’m gonna say. I think this video on Twitter should speak for itself:

[feminist-dinosaur27]

Mosquitoes are not seen as a big enough threat and that bothers me. I’m going to explain them as if they’re a completely new idea and then let’s see what you say.

Before we get into my bullet points, look at this mf.

If that isn’t the evilest little shit you’ve ever seen I don’t know what to say to you. He’s plotting something.

1. They suck your blood. Your blood is their main food source so they land on you and without asking, pierce your skin and feast on you.

2. They’ve got a saviour complex. Once they take your blood, they’ll inject some of their saliva into your bloodstream to stop your blood clotting (apparently). First of all, ew, second of all I don’t need your help??

3. They leave a mark. Maybe it’s to assert dominance cause they think they’re alpha males; but it’s more likely because their spit causes an allergic reaction. This rash is then itchy and red for like a week.

4. They force you to spend money. When you’ve got an itchy spot, you’re gonna want a cure, right? So now the mosquitoes are forcing you to buy anti itch cream.

5. They mostly come out and strike at night. Along with this, they hate sunlight. In fact, they avoid the sun at all costs because it can kill them. See what im telling you? Vampires.

6. They become more active on a full moon. So yes, apparently were-mosquitoes exist. That’s fucking terrifying.

I hope you enjoyed my mosquito rant. Maybe you’ve learned something new, or changed your mind on mozzies. (THIS IS SATIRE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY I DONT THINK THAT MOZZIES SHOULF BE WHIPED OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET!!!)

[eye-of-yelough]

philia 2 & 4, agape 3 & 5 for whoever you feel like!!

yippeeee answering philia for Leo Hawke and agape for Slater Adaar cos these questions are great for them…

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

making friends, leo doesn’t have much trouble with, it’s keeping them that’s difficult. just an angry person with a shitty personality that Will come out sooner or later. those she perceives as in need of protection, bethany, merrill, anders, or those she puts on a pedestal, isabela, anders as well, will be getting the full overbearing force of his guard doglike devotion and it’s . a lot. he drinks a lot and it brings out only the worst. he makes weird sexual passes despite not even being interested and riles up friend and stranger alike just to get a reaction when she’s bored. really not an easy person to get along with.

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age, or personality?

equally strong personalities, aveline or sebastian for example, don’t gel with her, especially with clashing viewpoints. he WILL be telling you every passing opinion with no regard for your feelings. so, generally, no, but there are exceptions. merrill is very different to her and has some traits he doesn’t like, but she’d do pretty much anything for that girl.

but most interesting is the varric dynamic cos they’re so weird about each other. she hates that little man but doesn’t hesitate to call him her best friend. i think they say things to each other that has them lying in bed at night, wondering what the fuck that meant and how they knew it would have such an impact. ironically they do it almost completely by accident. water and gasoline, those two, they just don’t fucking work. varric lives behind his mask, leo is authentic to a fault, etc etc. very different people. varric is one of the only people his saviour complex doesn’t trigger At All, to the point it’s the other way around. varric is very devoted to hawke regardless of approval, personality, and political views, and that disgusts and freaks leo the fuck out in equal measure because she just wants to punch him most of the time.

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

slater time teehee. there is definitely something to be said about wether she even believes in altruism, i’ll have to think about that. but ultimately, yes, it’s a worthy goal that all, particularly herself, should aspire to because uhhh. she struggles with it!

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

that low empathy, black and white worldview autism stops that in its tracks. sometimes she can empathise with someone’s logic - like the mayor of crestwood flooding his village to purge the blighted refugees and protect the uninfected - but the emotional, the irrational, she finds difficult to grasp. she struggles not to dehumanise people, and feels relief that actually having bigbad enemies gives her an excuse to do so without feeling bad.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Weather Warning - Andreas x reader

Andreas of Eraklyon x reader

Word Count : 2215

Warnings: slight mention of abuse

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He was too old for you, you knew that, but the day he stopped you from falling in the woods was the day you knew you were fucked and this man whether you liked it or not was going to be in your life. 

Andreas had come into your life like a whirlwind, nothing exciting ever happened in your small, mundane village, until he moved in with his daughter Beatrix, they mostly kept to themselves, from the gossip in the village he was a single father, and she was away at some posh collage, you should have been at college too, but things were complicated. 

Your adoptive family weren’t very wealthy and all the money they did have was poured into keeping their small village shop alive. In a way you were now grateful of your situation, at least you got to see the new talk of the town so to speak. 

Things at home were hard. Your adoptive parents never really cared for you, maybe they did in the beginning, until they realised how expensive it was to have a child and finally the novelty wore off, as you got older, so did the child benefits, most days you found yourself wondering alone in the woods if not working, it was the only place you could escape. 

As usual your head was in the clouds and you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, honestly, the rock came out of nowhere, you could have sworn… nope, not paying attention. Your foot caught on the partially exposed rock sprouting from the soil and before you fell face first into the gravely forest path you sent up a silent prayer. 

You didn’t speak to many people, so the fact that your prayer had been answered and you were inches hovering from the ground with no bloody face was a miracle in your eyes. In your daze you were unaware of the strong hands putting you back on steady ground.  

‘Thank you, Jesus!” You heard a cough behind you, and you squeaked, whirling around to see who was out here with you. 

“It’s Andreas, not Jesus, but you’re welcome sweet girl, you should watch where you’re walking.”

You looked like a fish; you just knew that if you could have looked in a mirror your mouth was bobbing open and shut like an awkward fish blowing bubbles at the hot man. Who knows what would have been less embarrassing, maybe he should have let you fall. 

“This is normally the part where you say thank you and tell me your name…” His arms folded across his chest, like he needed to make his muscles look any bigger… 

“I-I’mm umm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N, I work in the shop, in the village, I’ve seen you a couple of times...” Oh no, word vomit, the next part of phase awkward, if only the ground could open and swallow you… 

You stumbled backward as the ground seemed to tremble, Andreas seemed more alert and again his arms flew out to catch you as the earth beneath your feet split open creating a chasm large enough… to swallow you. England had mini earthquakes once in a blue moon but that was just fucking too coincidental.

You realised a bit late that you were still wrapped up in Andreas’ arms and when his hold on you became a little lighter, if you weren’t embarrassed enough... You looked from him and to the hole in the ground where you had once been standing, you were going to give this guy some sort of saviour complex by the time you managed to make it home. 

About to thank him for saving you once again, you turned, but he was gone, and you were left in a swirl of autumn leaves, the only proof that he was there, the electrifying tingles he’d left across your body, mind and soul.

The encounter with Andreas in the woods had left you feeling all sorts of ways. Frustrated was the main feeling, but why? Because the hot mysterious, now NOT stranger spoke to you but then left. Horny because... well... and giddy because HE SPOKE TO YOU!

The book you had in your hands was going unnoticed, you’d officially read the same sentence 4 times as you watched the storm of leaves and twigs dance outside. The weather had been weird lately, you hadn’t thought too much of it, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore. You laughed at yourself a few times over the last couple of weeks, somewhere in the recess of your mind believing you had some effect on the earth, you were going crazy, being cooped up in a dead ass village where nothing exciting ever happened and nose stuck in fantasy books, no one was coming to save you and you certainly didn’t have H20, X-Men, Starwars powers. 

The dead flowers in the shop weren’t a reflection of your mood, your adoptive parents probably forgot to water them, something you’d be shouted at for later.

The day was slowwww, the weather keeping everyone indoors. Apart from Andreas, who was heading towards the shop. The wind outside seemed to pick up until you could see him being blown back slightly. Your heart was racing, he’d made it to the doors which burst open with a gust. 

“Would you stop with the wind already!” His hair was dishevelled, and you had to use all the willpower inside you not to giggle. Then you realised what he said. 

“Oh yeah, nice to see you too Andreas, of course I’ll stop the weather for you, at the same time I’ll conjure my broomstick and fly out of here.” You shook your head and hopped off your stool behind the counter, placing your thick novel down with an exaggerated thud. 

Walking around the small store you watched as he watched you. Looking at you with a slight tilt to his head, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“You really don’t know, do you?” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He’d made you shut the shop and then you sat in the back side by side while he told you about who he was, where he came from, your powers, Alfea school for fairies, which is apparently what you were... you were still trying to figure out if Andreas was just an escaped mental patient or if he was telling the truth.

Slowly you realised your body had relaxed into him and at some point, his arm had come around you, so you were tucked into his side. He’d also mentioned the electricity you felt between each other, it wasn’t just you that felt it or some sick figment of your imagination, you were soul-bound, he knew it the moment he laid eyes on you. It was rare, to find your soulmate so early on, especially when you didn’t even know they truly existed, fairies can confirm their soulmate, with an advanced spell, something you weren’t ready for, you didn’t need to, you could feel it. 

He told you about the blood witches, Rosalind, someone called Saul, his son Sky, Beatrix... How they were here only temporarily, he’d just gone back and announced he wasn’t dead to the world, he was using this place to lay low before returning to Alfea to teach the Specialists. 

Honestly your head was swimming, there was too much information. You looked to the front doors, it was dark now, the storm caused by your magic settled. Andreas was playing with a lock of your hair while he continued telling him about all the things you believed only existed in fairy tales.

“.. and that’s why you’ll be coming back with me to Alfea..” You were shaken out of your daze, go back with him to some magical realm, he was practically a stranger, yes, a stranger you were fated to be with, but still, it all seemed too crazy. 

You jumped to your feet and spun to face him. “Andreas, I can’t just leave.” You started tidying the shop, your parents, if you could even really call them that would be furious if they came by and saw that the shop had been closed, not that anyone apart from the reckless specialist sitting on your stock room floor had come by all day.

“Sweet girl, there is nothing for you here, you told me yourself, you’ll come with me, go to college and learn about who you are and where you came from, I’ve already called ahead and let Rosalind know, she is expecting you. I will deal with your… guardians.” His lip curled in a snarl. After all you had told him he already expressed a great hatred to the people that homed you. 

You were going to argue with him, but he was right, you wanted nothing more than to leave this place and go to college but this… this was too much pressure. Soulmates, fairies, magic. 

“Don’t argue with me Y/N, you’re coming home, where you should have been all along.” He kissed your forehead and went to the doors, looking back he glanced over you. “Were leaving tomorrow, pack a bag, the rest will be transported later, I’m going to speak to your parents, don’t fight me on this.”

-Third POV- 

Rosalind could sense the girl’s power from a mile away, like a power-seeking bloodhound. She’d taken a portal to Andreas’ house as soon as he told her about finding a changeling, his soulmate, nonetheless. 

According to Andreas he had ‘spoken’ with the parents, from what Rosalind understood, he should have just killed them. As well as her power, Rosalind could sense Y/N’s emotions if she reached out enough, she didn’t like what she saw when she went over her memories of her upbringing. A little fear didn’t seem like it would be enough to keep her parents from asking more questions, Rosalind knew she may have to pay their brains a little visit before they left.

Specialist guards were surrounding the girls house, orders of Andreas while he spoke to Rosalind, he didn’t need anything happening to Y/N before they got a chance to get to Alfea. The wind had picked up again and Andreas knew his little mate was sitting pondering what was to come, he could almost sense it. 

A few streets over Y/N had packed a bag, her small number of possessions crammed into one holdall, she didn’t care if she didn’t bring the rest. Tears soaked her cheeks as she packed and through glossy eyes. Her face ached, safe to say Andreas had pissed her dad off, he didn’t do it often, but she was now sporting a red bruise which she knew would turn black and blue in a few days, normally he did it in less obvious places, this time he was blinded by rage, being told that his one way to a second paycheck was leaving? It didn’t go down too well.

Honestly Y/N couldn’t handle what had happened in the last 12 hours, it would be enough to drive anyone to thinking they were mad, she felt like that’s where she was headed, like Alice down the rabbit hole. 

It was dark now, the only thing illuminating her steps were the stars, it was a clear night, but the storm was still raging. Y/N had snuck out while her parents argued amongst each other. With quiet footsteps she hurried down the driveway and into the street, she breathed. 

The specialists were looking at the small girl from the cover of darkness, clear instructions to keep an eye on her and not approach unless instructed, obviously Andreas knew her every move, he was on the other end of the earpiece. 

Y/N struggled to know where to go, what to do. She looked towards the woods, she looked towards Andreas’ house, she looked back to her own home. With another deep breath she ran. 

Y/N POV

It felt right to be knocking on his door. A moment had passed where your mind told you to run to the woods, but it was fear talking. He was right, there was nothing for you here, the bruise forming under your eye solidified that for you. 

You’d never felt so much relief when he opened the door, took one look at you and swept you into his arms, his fingers grasping your chin tilting your head to look at the bruise forming under your puffy red eyes. His lips came down slowly and puckered on the sore spot, you wouldn’t think by looking at him he could be so sweet and tender. 

A woman was talking to someone in the background, you could see her through the glass door that led through to the kitchen, she stopped, suddenly turning she met your eyes and you shivered. 

Andreas took you closer to his body and guided you through to the living room where he plopped you on the sofa and wrapped a blanket around you. You watched as he put something black into his pocket. He kissed your forehead and headed towards the door meeting the woman at the threshold. As if sensing your hesitation, he turned giving you a reassuring smile. 

“Get some rest love, I have something I need to take care of, I promise you, no one will hurt you again.” 

[radkyudolph]

1: I fucking apologized??? for being mistaken??? am i not allowed to apologize when i realize i was wrong about something??? 2: "the law doesnt determine morality, and if you think it does you're admitting you think being any sort of queer is immoral. and that is why im using homosexuality to defend the rape of the unconscious and dead. youre the homophobe, not me" 3: "you have a saviour complex for being against something that traumatized you. and i think thats weird" 4: "dont bring up your experiences of sexual assault discussing somnophilia, because i believe its consensual and therefore your opinion doesnt matter"

i'm astonished by your ability to use so many wordz and yet say nothing

homosexuality being illegal in a multitude of placez waz an example. you could replace it with any law ranging from simply stupid to oppressive

nah it'z not just thiz you guyz just have saviour complexez in general. someone will tell you they're okay with their partner being an ass to them and you antiz (not just you) will tell them they're a victim against their own wishez. you guyz just all have saviour complexez for a reason i have yet to learn. also the internet traumatized me from here on out the internet should be banned

??? what the fuck are you talking about. if someone'z talking about the fact that consensual sex iz okay you shouldn't bring up your personal experiencez to say that it'z not otherwise they will believe you had consensual sex and simply regretted it. that'z how that workz. not sure how you got whatever that iz from what i said

genuine question. would you be thiz pissy if you never knew me. would you keep coming into my inbox consistently with every blog i make if you hadn't spoken to me while i waz an anti. because i don't think i've ever seen you do thiz to anyone that'z alwayz been a radqueer

[chaandkeeroshni]

Whenever I’m tapping into soft femininity lover girl syndrome i have to ground myself all over again in reminding myself it comes from a wounded place.

It comes from a place of low self worth, and *choosing* to unconditionally love someone who does not treat me like a priority. it’s the process of wanting to win their affection and show them I can love them better than someone who left them wounded: while they sometimes still remain hooked onto someone who wounded them.

That is THEIR unhealed self and lack of emotional maturity. That’s them choosing not to put in the work into healing and seeing things as they are, and drawing boundaries. Instead, they remain hooked onto patterns and people who’ve caused them damage. They aren’t grown enough to see what’s important and move the fuck on.

Rather than seeing it that way, a lot of my life so far I’ve seen it as something that has to do with me. Tricking myself into believing that if I put in more effort or loved them right, things would change. This comes from a wounded place of low self worth, and also some weird saviour complex. You CANNOT heal anyone who doesn’t want to put the right kind of work into healing themselves. Healing anyways is everyone’s individual work, it’s never your work.

This becomes a cycle of shame, and detachment from myself.

After all of this, it’s ridiculous to romanticize heartbreak because this isn’t even heartbreak it’s just bad choices.

Everytime I find myself stepping into the cycle now, I practise the following things that work:

1. Remind myself the problem isn’t me, people’s stupidity has everything to do with them, nothing to do with me. Best thing to do is detach myself emotionally.

2. Practise emotional detachment (once decided) by not engaging with them, cutting off on social media, and putting my energies into something more fulfilling everytime I think of them.

3. Engage socially with a lot of people; be it dating, meeting new people, networking or spending time with valued friends and family.

4. Tap into dark femininity and remind myself the force of life and healing are rooted in high self worth and my energy should be centred at my own self worth. My own narrative.

5. Remind myself every reason why Im a high value woman and desired by so many so there’s no reason I should be wasting precious time and energy on a low value dusty man when I could be doing something more fulfilling and working on healing.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hello, my request is for Niragi ✨ Y/N was popular in high school and always protect him when he was bully. When they saw each other in Bordeland, she saw how much he changed and keep her distance from him (which he hates), and she have an attitude that make one of the militants wants to attack her but Niragi protect her like she did with him bc he would never admit her but she's his only weakness

Yessss I’ve actually been wanting to write something for Niragi that sounds very similar so I’m glad you requested this! Thanks so much! 💕

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. The guys that bullied Niragi, Ann, Hatter, OC’s)

Summary: You and Niragi were best friends in high school. When you arrive in the Borderlands, you notice he’s not the person he used to be, causing you to avoid him. But unfortunately, he’s not happy about it.

Warnings: swearing, bullying, smoking, drinking, violence, threatening, bullet wounds, implications of sexual assault

Word Count: 7.1k

*reader is female

Niragi gif credit

4 Years Earlier…

The young boy grunted out in pain, having been hit with another rock right between his eyes. This one managed to crack his glasses, making his vision go all distorted.

His classmates around him roared with laughter. His heart filled with both anger and sorrow, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into the wind and out of his current situation.

“Aww, little Niragi has become quiet. Where’s those sarcastic remarks from earlier, they seemed to have left you,” his attacker mocked, adding a mean tone to his voice.

Just the usual. ‘Maybe they might end their target practice with me earlier today,’ he hoped.

He had grown used to it. He now expected to be dragged under the bridge each day on his way home from high school, being pushed around and roughed up. It’s not like he could’ve defended himself anyway. It was six guys against one, he never had a chance.

A short jab to the back of his neck broke him out of his thoughts. He groaned and doubled over, feeling as he was going to throw up. “Come on Niragi, fight back! It’s no fun when you just stand there,” the blonde student complained, striding over to the weakened boy. He gave him a quick kick to his side, making him fall on his hip harshly.

“Fuck off,” Niragi groaned under his breath, half hoping his tormentor didn’t hear it. But unfortunately, the small remark reached his ears.

“What was that? Did you just try to defend yourself? You’re going to have to use a lot more than just a few words you fucking loner,” the boy poked, giving Niragi another harsh kick to his stomach, making him become winded and choke on air.

He laid there taking their harsh words and hearing their mocking laughter ring in his ears. What did he ever do to deserve that?

“Hey Haru!”

The blonde turned his attention from his target to the direction of the voice that called his name. There you stood, by yourself with no one else. You obviously didn’t think the situation through before throwing yourself into it. You remained near the stairs that led down to below the bridge, holding something behind your back, but Haru seemed to not notice it.

Your heart skipped a beat when the group of high school boys all locked eyes with you, confused about what you were doing interrupting them.

“The fuck do you want Y/N?” the blonde, Haru, asked you in an annoyed tone.

You gulped before answering him, trying to sound as threatening as you could without your voice cracking. “Let him go! He’s done nothing to you, why are you giving him a hard time?” you spat at him, taking a few brave steps closer to the scene in front of you.

Niragi slightly lifted himself off the ground to look over at you. He recognized you from his social studies class. You both sat together at the back, and he always thought you were too nice for your own good.

Niragi sat up and shook his head, trying to warn you to stop what you were doing. He didn’t want to drag you into his own problems. He would’ve felt awful if you happened to get hurt while trying to help him.

Haru rolled his eyes and groaned at you. “Why are you getting involved? This is none of your business,” he retorted, walking closer to you with the baseball bat in hand. You watched with fearful eyes as he swung the bat around, obviously to threaten you.

Your heart quickened and you felt it pound against your ribcage dramatically. As Haru got closer and closer, you stood your ground bravely, still holding your hand behind your back to hide your weapon from him. You weren’t stupid enough to get yourself involved without having some kind of way to defend yourself.

“Well? Are you going to answer me or just stand and shake like the pathetic girl you are?” Haru tormented, a confident smirk growing across his face.

His comment made your blood boil. “Do you have a saviour complex or something? Why did you think you could help this son of a bitch?” he pressed, gesturing towards Niragi who was slowly rising to his feet with a worried expression on his face.

That was it. He was getting far too close to you for your own liking, so you decided that comment was the final straw. You rushed towards him and pulled out the large can of pepper spray from behind your back, aiming directly at his smug face.

He cried out in pain the moment the spray hit his eyes, dropping the baseball bat and covering his face with his hands. He tried desperately to rub the stinging liquid out of his eye with his school blazer sleeves, but it wasn’t worth the effort as it only made it worse.

You moved quickly and picked up the bat that he dropped, running past him towards the other boys that were still gathered around Niragi. They all held shocked expressions on their faces.

“You want some too?” you bluntly asked, thrusting the pepper spray towards them. They all flinched and stumbled to get away. You smiled, feeling empowered.

Haru and the others ran, thinking that beating up Niragi wasn’t worth being blinded for.

You turned towards the bloodied boy standing against the wall looking at you in shock. You glanced at him, giving him a friendly smile. He returned it.

After that, you two became inseparable for the rest of your high school days, spending every waking moment together. With your tough attitude and Niragi’s shy demeanour, you were a strange friendship to have been made. You thought you would always stay together, until one day Niragi went missing.

You never guessed where he may have ended up, until you were sent there yourself a few years later.

*************

You breathed in a huge gulp of oxygen as the black bag was harshly pulled off your head. You tried to wiggle your hands to shield your eyes from the blinding sunlight seeping through the windows but struggled as you saw that your hands were tied to the armrests on either side of you. You groaned in frustration.

As the curtains closed so you could see probably, you saw a young woman with short black hair dressed in blue shorts and a white button up that was tied at the waist. “Sorry,” she began. “I forgot to close that before removing the bag.”

You looked around at your surroundings. You noticed that there were several more people in the room. The room was large, stretching down further until it came to a stop at the end where a large wall stood, conveying a huge spray painting across it that consisted of every card from a deck of cards. Some were crossed out, while a few number cards and all face cards remained untouched.

You whipped your head around, feeling restless from the number of eyes staring at you. You don’t remember how you got into this situation. All you remember is walking to a large light in the distance from your position on a bridge, being curious as to how it seemed to be the only building with electricity. Before you knew it, someone had grabbed you by the shoulders and shoved something over your head, making your vision go black and suddenly passing out.

You moaned in pain as you felt the back of your head throbbed, probably from when they punched you to knock you out.

“What’s going on?” you asked, struggling in your restraints more, trying to break free. An older man with glasses scolded you. “Stay still, Hatter will be here soon.”

Just as he promised, two large doors on your left burst open, revealing a man with a long decorative robe and dark glasses on. He had two other men beside him, both holding revolver guns.

“Ah! A newcomer!” he exclaimed excitedly, taking a big sip from his drink.

You froze, watching as he strides into the room further, making himself comfortable on a table in the centre of the room.

“A few of my militants tell me they found you sneaking around nearby The Beach,” he accused, pointing his finger at you.

You stared at him; confusion written all over your face. Militants? The Beach? What was he talking about?

After you didn’t answer him for a moment, he let out a big sigh and jumped off the table onto his feet, beginning to talk himself.

He explained the current situation to you. About how the dynamic at The Beach worked, and that considering the number of high-level cards you had on your person, you seemed to be the perfect candidate to add to the ranks of everyone there.

“And remember, death to the traitors,” he said, spite filling his tone. He had listed off the three main rules to you, each one adding more dread for you.

“Okay, all good. But I just want to say. If you want people to help you collect cards, kidnapping them isn’t the best idea. If it hasn’t hit you yet, that would make people want to help you less,” you smartly said, trying to stop your lips pulling up into a smirk.

All the heads in the room turned to Hatter. No one has ever questioned his motives to his face before, especially a newcomer.

Except, he didn’t get angry like everyone expected. Instead, he chuckled and held his drink out towards you. “Cheers to that, I guess. Have fun!”

************

The Beach was a lot more crowded than you expected. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you walked down to the bottom floor to the pool. People were everywhere; dancing, swimming, drinking, talking, smoking. It honestly couldn’t have been more chaotic than it already was.

You spent most of the remainder of the day becoming familiar with the layout of the hotel. You found the room that you had been assigned to. You managed to score a room that was a little above average. Hatter decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and gift you a higher number due to your high number cards. He thought it was only fair.

You were sitting at a table nearby the bar. The sun had gone down but the party continued on through the chilly night air. You shivered, not being used to being dressed in a bathing suit twenty-four seven. You were annoyed that you weren’t even allowed to wear some sweatpants to bring you some kind of warmth. You guessed you would just have to grow used to feeling the cold on your skin.

The warm beverage slipped down your throat, bringing you at least a little bit of comfort. You had made yourself a coffee inside, not in the mood for alcohol just yet. You honestly didn’t like drinking without having anyone you trusted around you, just in case something was to happen.

You looked around the area, taking in everyone’s faces to see if anyone appeared friendly enough to be nice to you. You needed to make some allies before the next game, otherwise you would be the first they would sacrifice.

As you scanned the crowd, your gaze landed on a particular male, who was sitting in a more done up booth nearby the pool. He was wearing a black and white checkered shirt with black skinny jeans. He had several piercings in his face, making him seem more threatening.

You squinted your eyes. Why did he look so familiar? You swore you’ve seen him before.

You kept your gaze locked on him, watching as he communicated with the people sitting near him. You noticed that a huge sniper rifle was tucked behind him. He must have been a high-ranking militant, being able to carry a weapon like that around.

He suddenly flung his head back and let out a roar of laughter at something the guy next to him had said. You froze in your spot.

You could recognize that laugh anywhere. That loud, obnoxious laugh that used to come from your old friend Niragi from high school. Your best friend that randomly disappeared.

You blinked a few times before looking back at him. His facial features did match and the way he smiled seemed way too familiar to not be him.

How could he be here? Is this where he disappeared to a couple of years ago?

Your heart filled with joy and a wide grinned grew on your face. That had to be Niragi! Who else would it be?

You quickly stood to your feet, almost tripping on your chair in the process and began making your way towards his position.

Although, as you did so, another man approached him from behind, leaning over the seat and tapping his shoulder. Niragi turned with an angered scowl on his face, but it turned to a smirk once he heard what the man had to tell him.

You stopped in your tracks and watched as he leaped over the backrest of the couch suddenly, following the man with his rifle slung over his shoulders. They were headed to the door that led inside, so you quickly followed, wanting to reunite with your old friend from so long ago.

“Niragi!” you yelled out happily, trying to get his attention. A few heads turned at your voice around you, but he didn’t manage to hear you over the sound of the music blaring through the speakers.

“Niragi!” you tried again, but this time you were blocked by a few people in your way. A small crowd gathered in front of you, not noticing you trying to get past.

Niragi turned his head at the mention of his name but couldn’t see anyone calling his attention. He shrugged it off and kept following the man. He had told him that a young guy was causing some trouble inside one of the halls, so he was going to take care of it.

As you finally managed to force yourself through the small crowd that interrupted your path, you saw the Niragi and the man had already made it inside. You ran straight after them. You were feeling ecstatic, ready to throw your arms around him and give him the biggest hug ever to make up for all the days you’ve been apart.

As you quickly made your way inside, you caught a glance of his checkered shirt turning the corner a bit ahead of you. You moved your legs as quick as you could, trying to catch up.

You turned the corner, about to yell out to him again, but your voice got caught in your throat when the sight in front of you met your eyes.

“You really thought you could get away with this?!”

Niragi had a young boy pinned to the ground, pressing his boot against his upper back and shoving the barrel of his rifle against his skull violently. The boy below him was crying and begging for his mercy.

You had a small flashback to high school, when you saw Niragi’s main bully Haru shoving a baseball bat against the back of his head, him lying on the ground battered and bloodied.

It was the exact same scene. Only this time, Niragi was the tormentor himself.

“Niragi, I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!” he cried desperately, clawing at the floor trying to get away.

Niragi lifted his other boot and stamped it down roughly onto the boy’s hand. You covered your mouth as you heard a few bones crack.

He leaned down closer to the boy’s face and lifted his head up his hair, making him whimper in pain. “If I ever see you stealing from one of the executives again, this rifle will go down your throat and I won’t hesitate to blow the back of your skull out,” he hissed, sticking out his tongue and revealing the ball piercing he had.

The boy nodded, leaning away from Niragi as best as he could.

The man who led Niragi to the scene tapped him on the shoulder. “Alright that’s enough. You don’t want to give him PTSD,” he said calmly.

Niragi let out an annoyed groan. “But I was just getting started with him!” he whined, letting the boy out from under his boot and watching as he scuttled away like a bug.

You couldn’t move. You stayed put as the boy pushed past you, accidentally smacking into your shoulder in the process. Your eyes remained wide, staring at the tall man with fear written across your face.

This was not the Niragi you knew. It was not the Niragi you defended from those bullies. This was not the Niragi that used to be your closest friend, possessing a shy and timid personality. No, that Niragi was dead now. This was a devil standing in front of you. Nothing but a violent jerk that struck fear in anyone that he came across. What happened to him?

Unfortunately, you took a little too long to gather your thoughts and before you knew it, a rough grip was on your shoulders shaking you out of your daydream. You flinched in a panic as you saw Niragi’s angered face appear in front of yours.

“What are you looking at? You want some too?” he growled, shoving the barrel of his gun against your temple. You froze, staring into his dark, evil eyes, not knowing what to do.

You watched in confusion as his hard and angry facial features softened, rage turning into surprise, and even concern.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, taking his hands off your shoulders and backing a way a bit in shock. You kept your eyes on him. You wanted nothing but for him to recognize you a few minutes before, but now you weren’t so sure.

“Y/N?!” he exclaimed suddenly, causing you to jump as his tone. A large smile grew on his face, only you viewed it as nothing but sinister and evil.

“Oh my god Y/N! Since when did you get here?!” he asked excitedly. He quickly moved towards you again and held his arms out to give you a hug, but you backed away and shook your head, making him frown.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you recognize me? It’s me! Niragi! Your best friend!”

You shook your head again, trying to get the message across that you didn’t want him near you. “Sorry Niragi,” you mumbled, trying hard to keep your tears in.

You quickly darted around the corner, making your way to the staircase to run to your room. You felt overwhelmed. After everything that happened today, finding out that your closest friend was now a murderer was the last thing you needed.

Your stomach dropped as you heard heavy footsteps following closely behind you.

“Wait Y/N! Please let me explain!” he tried to stop you, but you weren’t going to give him any time after that performance with the young boy.

“Piss off Niragi!” you yelled, climbing the stairs as fast as you could, trying to get away from him.

You turned onto the floor that your room was located on, sprinting down the hallway. You glanced back over your shoulder to see that Niragi wasn’t that far behind you. He had dropped his rifle, now trying to catch up to you empty handed.

You quickly busted through your door and immediately pressed your entire body weight on it. You silently cursed Hatter for not letting you have locks.

You heard him arrive in front of it, immediately trying to open it, but you stood your ground. He may have been tall, but there was nothing but skin and bones on him. He had no muscles to help him push through.

You held the door shut with your leg and reached for a chair to put against the handle so we wouldn’t be able to open it. You managed to secure it underneath the handle and stood back, watching as Niragi tried to open it again, but failing.

“Y/N please just let me in! Let me explain! I didn’t mean for you to see that!” he cried. You almost felt guilty, hearing as he started tearing up behind the door while still attempting to let himself in.

“Please Y/N! Let me in! I missed you!”

You covered your ears with your hands. You didn’t want to listen to his pleas, it would do nothing but make you feel bad for him.

That wasn’t Niragi outside your door, that was a cold-blooded killer that you wanted nothing to do with.

**************

The next few days you spend on alert around The Beach, looking around every corner for Niragi. As much as you’ve missed him the past few years, that event that occurred with the young boy obviously showed that he was no longer the nice and caring friend that you used to have. If anything, he now has become what he hated most in his high school days, a selfish and careless bully.

Who wants to be associated with someone like that? Not you.

Although even though you managed to avoid him in person, his name was brought up wherever you went. A few people would approach you during the day and warn you that Niragi was looking for you. It only would make your anxiety spike, causing you to scatter off to a more secluded place somewhere at The Beach. Most of the time you would hide in your room, but on the few occasions you climbed to the roof or hung around Alice and Usagi (who you had befriended), you managed to keep away from the psychopath.

One day, you were sitting out on one of the tables out by the pool. It was still quite early in the morning, so there wasn’t a lot of people around. The air was quite nippy, making you shiver against the cold breeze. You rubbed your arms up and down, trying to warm yourself up. Unfortunately, you hadn’t grown used to the ‘always wear bathers’ policy yet.

You felt a gentle hand lay itself on your shoulder, making your eyes widen and your head whip around to yell at whoever had dared to touch you, but you held in your harsh remark when your eyes met with Niragi’s.

“Finally! I found you!” he exclaimed, a sickening smile spreading across his face. You leant away from his touch, scooting your butt along the seat of the table, trying to make distance between the two of you.

Niragi obviously didn’t like this.

“Why are you avoiding me like I’m some kind of disease? I just want to talk to you! I haven’t seen you in years!” he said annoyed, taking a seat at the table.

You eyed his sniper rifle closely, watching as he placed it down on the table in front of him. You felt somewhat relieved that the barrel was pointing away from you. Who knew when he would decide to use that vicious weapon against you?

You blinked, not daring to say anything. You wanted to get out of the situation as soon as possible. It was unbearably uncomfortable.

“Sorry Niragi, I have to go,” you stated, standing up out of your seat and moving to turn away.

Niragi gripped the back of your hoodie and pulled you so you sat down again, making you yelp in surprise. “No, you don’t. Stop avoiding me,” he growled, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to him.

You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort. You swore you were so close you could hear his heart beating. With a short shove to the side, you got out of his grip and stood up again.

“No, I do. I’m sorry but I really don’t want to talk to you,” you bluntly said, becoming agitated from his insistent behaviour. Why did he think he could just tell you what to do?

He frowned, standing up as well. “Fine then, I’ll just come too. I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me. You don’t get a choice.”

You rolled your eyes and quickly started walking away from him, hoping to at least get a head-start to stay away from him. You heard him jog up to you as you kept walking, seeing his shadow appear right next to you.

You became more and more anxious the longer he followed you. He started to get a little too comfortable in his movements, even having the audacity to touch your hair and comment on how much it’s grown.

It got to a point where you had walked all the way to the lobby about three times, realizing that he wasn’t even focusing on where you were going. You turned around just as he was reaching to grab your hand, looking him in the eye with anger written all over your face.

“Can you not take a hint?! Leave me the fuck alone!” you yelled, watching as his face contorted into shock at your tone.

“I don’t want to have anything to do with you Niragi! You’re fucking insane and sadistic! Has it not occurred to you that you’ve literally become the soul thing that you hated in high school?!” you sassed, anger ripping from your words and smacking him in the face.

The few people in the lobby turned their heads at the sound of your arguing, being curious due to not seeing anyone ever dare to yell such vulgar words towards Niragi.

He tucked his hand into his jeans pocket and readjusted the rifle on his shoulder, almost looking bored. “Yeah? And what would that be?” he asked, licking his bottom lip while staring at your menacingly.

You cringed as his movements. “A fucking asshole! A little bitch that preys on those weaker than him just so he can project his own hatred for himself onto them! You’re pathetic Niragi, and it’s a real shame that no one has in this shithole has told you so. Because no one knows you like I know you, and I know that on the inside, you hate yourself more than anyone could ever hate you.”

You took in a deep breath, regaining your strength. You suddenly saw the irony in your words. You accused Niragi of projecting his anger onto others when you just did it yourself.

Niragi rolled his eyes, bringing his rifle down off his shoulder and fiddling with the bullet canister. You felt your heart stop from his actions, being afraid that he was going to use it on you.

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me Y/N,” he laughed, glancing his eyes back up to you.

You grunted in annoyance. “Just leave me alone, please,” you begged, turning around and leaving Niragi to the peeping eyes still staring at you both.

He turned his head to everyone in the lobby. As he did so, everyone turned back to what they were doing, being afraid of being caught staring and yelled at by him.

“That’s right. Mind your own business,” he shouted out across the lobby to make sure everyone heard.

He watched you as you walked away, eventually turning the corner to go search for Alice and Usagi. At least they would give you some kind of security after what just happened.

He chuckled to himself, sticking his pierced tongue out and running it across his lips once again. “Just you wait Y/N, you’ll come running back to me soon enough. You can only keep that tough façade up for so long. Just wait until people find out that you’re all bark and no bite.”

************

You stumbled your way to the entrance of the hotel, head throbbing in pain and legs aching from the muscle strain you’ve put on them. You had arrived back from your game, being the only one that managed to survive. You didn’t feel well, both physically and emotionally, so you were planning on slipping into a coma for a few days to sleep off the pain that you were feeling at that moment.

It felt like a huge effort to even lift your feet. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone, so you weren’t even thinking of checking in on Alice or Usagi. You said to yourself you would look for them tomorrow. You were in too much of a bad mood to engage in conversation. You’d probably end up snapping at them, which wouldn’t be fair on them since they just completed a harsh game themselves.

As you were just about to enter through the large glass doors before a young militant woman with short blonde hair pushed through before you even had the chance. She managed to even knock your shoulder during the process, making you hiss in pain.

She looked you up and down with a disgusted expression on her face. “Watch where you’re going,” she spat before continuing walking inside.

You rolled your eyes. “Bitch,” you mumbled under your breath.

Her head quickly whipped around to meet your eye, an angered scowl on her face. “Excuse me?” she said in disbelief.

Your words got stuck in your throat. She wasn’t meant to have heard that. “I-I…”

“I-I..” she mocked you. You felt your adrenaline skyrocket. You’ve heard of this girl; she doesn’t take things lightly.

“Look I’m sorry, it just slipped out I promise,” you stammered out, putting your hands up in a surrender. You weren’t in the mood for dealing with her shit, you were grumpy and tired. You hoped she would let you off with just a warning.

But she had different plans.

She grabbed you by the back of your hoodie, dragging you outside again and brought you over to a small alleyway that ran along the side of the hotel. You struggled in her grip and protested the whole way.

Although, you stopped fighting against her when she shoved you against a brick wall and pulled a revolver out of her jacket pocket, pushing it underneath your chin. You froze and looked at her with pleading eyes, begging for her to have mercy.

“You’ve messed with the wrong person you bitch,” she growled, giving you a quick jab to the ribs. You yelped in pain, clutching your side. It hurt ten times more, considering you’ve already faced a horrific game that same night.

“I’m sorry!��� you cried, feeling tears welling up in your eye sockets.

She scoffed and smirked at you. “Wow, all bark and no bite huh?” she teased, throwing a kick to your shin, making you cry harder.

Her words angered you, making you see red for a short moment. You forgot about the revolver against your chin and gave her a quick punch to the jaw, making her head whip sideways.

She groaned, clutching her face and slowly turned back to you. You felt yourself fill with regret when you saw the look on her face. She looked like she was ready to kill you.

“Is that how you want it? Fine, have a hole in your foot. Maybe it’ll manage to get you and your attitude killed off in the next game,” she snarled.

Your stomach dropped at her words. Before you could even protest, she pulled away and aimed the gun towards the ground and blew a quick bullet in the top of your foot.

You cried out, kneeling and grasping your foot in your hands in pain, biting your tongue so you didn’t scream too loud. The pain of the bullet seeped from your foot and up your leg, spreading across your body.

The militant girl stood above you, laughing at your pathetic body lying on the ground. Your screams of pain brought her pleasure.

“Didn’t think this would happen when you bad mouthed me, didn’t you?!” she laughed, leaning down and pushing the gun against your head to threaten you more.

Another gunshot rang in your ears. For a moment you thought it was her and that she had put a bullet through your head, killing you. But then you heard a cry and saw the girl fall in the ground holding your shin with her head thrown back in a silent scream.

You were about to attempt to stand up to take this opportunity to run, but quickly jumped back down to the ground when another loud gunshot filled the air. You heard the bullet colliding with flesh as the girl flinched violently and cried out again.

You heard a menacing male laugh fill the air, and you glanced down the alleyway to see where it came from.

There stood Niragi, holding his sniper rifle out towards you both with smoke protruding from the barrel of it. A psychotic grin was painted across his face and you swore you saw his eyes shine red.

“Why are you giving my poor love a hard time?! Maybe think twice before you put a bullet through my property,” he exclaimed, chucking and walking up to the girl giving her a harsh kick to the ribs.

You felt like you were about to throw up and hearing some of her ribs crack from the collision of her chest to his boot did not help your nausea.

You rubbed your eyes and pressed your forehead against the ground. You wanted to wake up, like this was all some bad dream. Before you knew it, you were silently sobbing on the floor, tears rolling out of your eyes and down your cheeks.

You felt two arms wrap around you, lifting you off the cold stone floor and into a warm chest. You winced and whined as the bullet wound in your foot shot a searing pain through your leg. Niragi shushed you quietly.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” he whispered, placing his cheek on top of your head.

His behaviour was giving you whiplash. One second ago he was acting like a maniac, shooting holes through a young girl, but now he was carrying you by under your knees and your shoulders, your head tucked into his neck.

You were exhausted, your body not even listening to you. You tried to move your leg to force yourself out of his grip but didn’t even have the strength to lift it. Your head was throbbing, and you could’ve passed out easily in his arms, but forced yourself to stay awake.

As Niragi walked past the lobby to get to the medical room, he attracted a few worried faces. Some even stood up to walk over and ask if you were okay. Everyone was terrified he had bad intentions with you, knowing how he was.

He ignored the few that approached both of you, rushing down the hall to escape them. He had to get there quickly so Ann could treat your bullet wound.

When he arrived, he pushed through the door harshly and called out to Ann with a worried tone. She stopped what she was doing and turned to the door to see Niragi holding you close to him protectively, blood dripping into the ground from your shoe.

“Shit, bring her here.” She gestured towards an empty table in the middle of the room. Niragi rushed over and placed you gently on the metal table, letting you lean your upper body against him.

Ann brought over some large tweezers, a cloth, disinfectant and a bandage. You flinched at the sight of the tweezers, moving to get away from her. “No, no!” you begged, trying to crawl up the table to get away, but Niragi grabbed your waist and pinned you against his chest.

“We have to get the bullet out Y/N, we can’t just leave it in there!” he argued, brushing your hair out of your face to calm you down.

You struggled against his grip as Ann held down your foot and carefully removed your shoe and sock. You looked down and saw a small hole in the top of your foot. How could such a small injury cause so much pain?

“Alright Niragi, keep her still. This is going to hurt,” Ann said shallowly, picking up the tweezers to try and remove the bullet.

“Yep.” You felt his grip on you tighten and he tucked his chin on your head. “Please just keep still Y/N, I’m here. It’s okay,” he cooed. His reassuring words didn’t do much to ease your anxiety.

Niragi turned your face so you were nuzzled into his chest. He knew that making you watch Ann take the bullet would do nothing but freak you out more, so he wanted to protect you from the sight.

You felt fine until the pain in your foot suddenly skyrocketed, making you let out a piercing scream. You bit your tongue to try and quieten yourself, but it didn’t do much.

Niragi frowned as he suddenly felt you go limp against him. He looked down at your face to see you had passed out, eyes shut tight and letting out soft breaths.

He smiled and brushed his fingers across your face. “So cute,” he mumbled.

“Well, that’s better. Maybe if we just knocked her out with a quick jab to the head, it would’ve saved us the headache of trying to keep her down,” Ann stated bluntly, causing Niragi to laugh.

“You know how this happened?” she asked him, raising her eyebrows.

“A bitch shot her just outside the hotel,” he said with an angry tone.

Ann didn’t seem surprised. Events like that occurred a lot. She had removed a lot of bullets the time she had been there.

“What happened to the girl? Did she run when she saw you?”

“I didn’t give her the chance to. She copped two bullets into her body for doing that to Y/N.”

“Did you think maybe Y/N was the one giving her a hard time?”

“Doesn’t matter. I only saw her shoot the bullet, nothing else.”

“Fair enough.”

***********

You cracked your eyes open to a room that most definitely wasn’t your own. You groaned and sat up, wincing when the pain in your foot shot through your leg. Memories of yesterday filled your head. “I must have passed out in the medical room,” you said to yourself.

You scanned the room. It was much bigger than yours. The bed you were in was three times the size of yours, and this room even had a huge balcony. As you looked around more, you noticed that a bag of your stuff was placed near the closet.

You frowned. Why was your stuff from your room here?

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Niragi, walking in with a plate of a bread roll and a bottle of water. He saw you awake and smiled.

“Aw little mouse is awake. How’s your foot?” he purred.

You cringed at the pet name. “What’s it to you, dickhead,” you growled, getting out of the bed and standing up. You were wearing the same clothes that you wore to the game yesterday, minus the shoes and the jacket.

Niragi smirked and placed the food on a small table in the centre of the room. “Have you forgotten who saved your pathetic ass yesterday?” he asked, approaching you. “And also, don’t stand on that foot. It’s injured, you have to rest it.” He pushed on your shoulder lightly to make you sit on the bed again. He sat himself next to you and leaned towards your face.

You moved away from his face, hating how close he was to you. “Yeah, but how did you know I even needed help? And don’t tell me you were just going on a short stroll through the alleyway at eleven at night,” you said, scooting up the bed and leaning your back against the wooden bedhead.

Niragi chuckled. “What if I was? Are you accusing me of stalking?” he suggested.

You shook your head. “Why is my stuff here,” you asked, changing the subject.

Niragi glanced over at the bag full of your stuff on the ground near the closet. He turned back to you with a smile on his face. “Oh yeah! I forgot to say, you’re moving in with me,” he said excitedly.

You felt your stomach drop. “What? I didn’t agree to this.” You swung your legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand again. You could only place pressure on one foot, so you stood on one leg.

“Oh, baby. I don’t care if you don’t want to. You’re in here with me now, whether you like it or not,” he growled, reaching out towards you waiting for you to place your hand in his.

You stared at him, trying to see if he was joking or not. But from the serious look on his face, you didn’t think he was.

“I’m not staying in here with you. You’re a fucking psycho.”

You attempted to limp over to the door, wanting to escape Niragi as soon as possible. But you didn’t expect him to be so insistent on you staying.

A sudden arm around your waist spun your around and Niragi pinned you against the door, his face far too close to yours for it to be comfortable. “Did you not just hear me? You don’t get a choice love. You’re stuck with me,” he rasped into your face with a scary smile across his.

Your breath hitched and you turned your head away as he moved his face closer, trying to force his lips against yours. You felt helpless.

“Niragi please. Let me go, I’m sorry if I ever angered you,” you begged, pushing on his chest, but he wouldn’t budge. “I promise if you let me go, we can go back to how we were in high school.” You were trying to do anything that would get him off you. Your heart was racing, and you were becoming more frightened by the second.

Niragi licked a long and slow stripe from your collar bone to the back of your ear. You cringed and sobbed at the feeling of his tongue and saliva on your skin. “Maybe I don’t want it like it was back then. Maybe I want more Y/N,” he whispered.

He tucked his face into your neck and nipped at your skin. He had your arms pinned either side of you and his leg was holding your good foot against the door. You couldn’t do anything to defend yourself.

“What have you become Niragi,” you sobbed after a short moment.

Niragi removed himself from your neck, leaning back to look at you. You stared into his eyes, seeing the same dark and beautiful orbs that used to make your heart race with love in high school, only now, they made your heart race with fear.

“I’ve become the real me Y/N, and you’re going to love me, whether you want to or not.”

[corn-fanfiction]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Pt. 5)

(Pt. 4)

Rated: M

TAGS: language/past abuse/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/sensuality/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p/Terrezanos/dead bodyodyodyody

When Mark comes to collect you, he's in a somewhat nicer suit than usual, but you look drastically different. Yes, you want a nice romantic dinner with this powerful man that keeps you on your toes…but you also want to wear something that will look incredible on a bedroom floor.

His eyes rake over you when he sees your black dress with lace detail, your painted red lips, your legs that seem to go on for miles.

“Ho-ly,” he starts. You shut him up with a tip-toe kiss. His large hands wrap around your waist and he tries to deepen the kiss, but you pull away.

“This is MAC, Hoffman. Don't you dare smudge it.”

“Sweetheart you could put that lipstick all over me and I'd buy you 100 more.”

“Damn you're perfect, huh? Come on. We can ruin my makeup after dinner.”

He hides it pretty well, but you can still see the effect that comment has on him. He grunts inaudibly and his pants definitely tighten. You can picture it, too. On your knees, on the bed (his or yours, doesn't matter), your lipstick is smudged, your eyeliner and mascara streaming down your face. You fight every urge to just drag him back inside and fuck his brains out.

He opens the car door for you and you thank him sweetly. They weren't all bad before Ted, but Mark is different. He's confident, maybe cocky at times, but he's gentle with you and hasn't pushed you too far yet. And he respects you. You don't remember the last time you were respected like this.

“So, where are you taking me?” You ask as you put on your seatbelt. Mark doesn't miss the way the safety fabric cuts between your breasts and he clears his throat.

“Terrezanos.”

You gawk at him. “What? Mark, no, that place is way too expensive.”

“Yeah, well, I'm trying to impress you. Besides, you've always wanted to go there.”

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know?”

“I overheard you telling Gerry one day at the restaurant. If you really don't want to, we can go somewhere else-”

“No!” You laugh. “No, it's just…I don't know. Thanks, Mark.”

He flashes a quick glance between you and the road but when he sees your genuine face, it gives him pause.

“Of course. I want this to be special, you know?”

God, your heart flutters. How do you go from being a horny mess to love-struck in a matter of minutes?

The drive is short and you relish in the comfort of Mark's nice car. Leather seats that are warm, quiet wheels, clean smell. Better than any car you've been in lately. And when you pull up to the restaurant, you're absolutely blown away to see-

“Holy shit, they have valets!”

Mark smirks and parks in front of the restaurant. You unbuckle your seatbelt but Mark puts a hand on your arm to stop you.

“Hold on,” he says, then exits the car. You groan as he comes around to your side.

“Mark! Chivalry isn't dead but I'm starving!”

He opens the door for you and you take the waiting hand that helps you from the car. Mark hands his keys over to the valet with thanks. And as you walk in, a gentle hand hovers over your lower back. You feel like some sort of rich wife walking in for the monthly dinner with her husband.

The sudden and seemingly random imagery shakes you for a moment while Mark talks reservation and walks you to the table. You force yourself to remember that this is good fun. He's nice, he's sexy, he treats you well. You're gonna have a good night- a great night, maybe, as long as you get your head out of your ass.

Expensive wine. It's not your preferred and as soon as Mark sees your soured face that you did your best to hide, he orders a different glass.

You both order steak and you pick at a bread stick during the wait.

“Okay, you know too much about me,” you remark. Mark chuckles. “What about you?”

“Eh, what about me. I live at my job. I don't like running.”

“Family?”

“Mom upstate, dad passed a few years ago. Had a sister, but uh…”

Shit, you're stupid. You're a full fucking idiot. You're just trying to make small talk and here you are forgetting about one of the most tragic things you've ever heard.

“God, I'm so sorry, Mark. I completely forgot. You don't have to say anything else.”

“No, no it's fine. I don't ever really talk about her anymore.”

“Seriously, Mark, I understand.”

“But she deserves better than that. I think you woulda liked each other.”

You watch him for a moment silently, hands folded under your chin. Suddenly, he's disarmed.

“Tell me about her.”

And he does, and he lights up. Angela. Angel on earth. His best friend and only person he ever really trusted. Slaughtered by her ex boyfriend.

You wonder about her. How similar your bones are and the tethers that tie you. You'd seen the crime scene photos on the internet. How similar she looked to the photo on Mark's office shelf. She was the same person, after all.

You laugh through your dinner and start the flirting through dessert. You sigh.

“What's that?”

You shrug with a smile. “Can't decide if I don't want this to ever end or… If I want us to get out of here.”

You slip a foot out of its heel and slide it against his ankle, up his calf, and against his inner thigh. Mark inhales sharply and sets an elbow on the table a little too hard, shaking the glasses.

“You are playing a risky game.”

“Risky? I'm just looking for what was promised me.”

“Promised?”

“I'm collecting.”

“Say less.”

You don't even realize that Mark's going in the direction of his place (or what you assume is his place because it's in the opposite direction). You've got a hand ghosting up his leg and he's giving you the same treatment. If he weren't driving, you'd give him head right here, right now.

You both jump when a crackle comes from his police radio.

“Shit,” he mutters, tuning into the frequency.

“Dispatch, all available units to the factory off third…looks like another one.”

Mark nearly swerves off the road. You pull you hand back as your heart hammers in your chest.

“Jesus. What did he mean?”

Mark stares into the dark ahead, lips parted slightly in some intense thought.

“Another trap,” he breathes. “Fuck. I gotta get there. I'll drop you back at your place-”

“No, it'll be quicker for you to go straight to 3rd. I'll stay in the car. You need to do this, right? Catch this guy?”

Mark is fighting himself. Something within him wins and he nods, puts the car in reverse, and speeds to the factory. It's an old, abandoned place, something to do with manufacturing. But when you arrive, there's already ambulances, cop cars, and people, so many people. Mark practically throws himself out of the car and into the throngs. From your seat, you can barely overhear a conversation.

“You're not supposed to be here-”

“No one gave more to this case than me. Let me through.”

Another car pulls up beside you and two men step out, wearing windbreakers with “FBI” plastered on the back. Shit. Your hand moves instinctively to the handle as though there's anything you can do to help this situation.

You watch as Mark is now in a proper screaming match with someone. They aren't letting him through, and then you see a body being wheeled out on a stretcher. The blanket is pulled up too far. Whoever this poor bastard is, they're dead.

And then you spot the hand. The tattoos on the fingers. The ring you had bought him two Christmases ago.

You have no trouble now leaving the car. You stumble in your heels towards the back of the ambulance. Some notice you and go to grab you away but you avoid them. You only get close enough to confirm your suspicions before Mark has a hold of your wrist, then your arm, then all of you as you realize fully that Ted is on the stretcher before you, dead. A victim to the Jigsaw killer. Bringing you one step closer to a serial killer, and hundreds of miles away from anything ever making sense again.

[rikiflowers]

being enough; levi

genre: angst and fluff

warnings: cursing 

- 3.6k words; Levi Ackerman x female reader; college au  

you just want to be with him

You were tired. Not only were you sleep deprived for-you don’t actually how long- ages, also your mental health wasn’t in a stable place. Your constant fear to fail in every area of your life, does the rest. You were so tired, that you only lay in your bed, your eyes kept staring on the ceiling. It was pitch black in your room; your head sunk into your many stuffed animals. You were glad that your roommate was never here. She snucks out to her boyfriend’s place, so you could be for yourself. You sigh, hearing loud banging and bass boosting music from 2 rooms next to you.

 It was always like this, so you got used to it, but today was an exception. Anger bubbles in your body. Couldn’t they be doing drugs and loud music at some other time, when you’re not like this? The void seems to consume you and you wished you could fill it; with him. You knew it was just sex, but your heart yearns for more, than he could ever give you. But you got along with this, feeling your body getting number with every shared kiss, every thrust and every intimate moment, which isn’t real.

You flinch as you heard your door open. For a second you thought your roommate was there but as soon as you hear his voice, your heart begins to flutter. “Why’s so dark in here are you vampire?”. He states, without a sign of a joke, but you knew it was. You don’t reply, instead you just lay there. You forgot he was coming to your place.

“You dead?”, he snaps at you, while he makes room for himself on your bed. I wish, you wanted to say, but instead you sit up, loop your arms around him. You buried yourself in his defined chest, feel his heartbeat through his hoodie. “What’s up?”, he asks confused, because he never seen you like this, and you could tell he’s a little overwhelmed with the whole situation. His hands grab your arm, pushing you just a lightly away.

 “Will you fucking tell me what’s up or should I guess?”, he groans annoyed and his tone, you’re normally used to, scatter salt in your open wounds. Right now, you were too sensitive, everything you want is just smelling his scent that calms you down, usually. Right now, you can’t find the peace you desperately looking for.

“Fuck you.”, you mumble, avoiding his eyes. He only scoffed. “I came here to have a little stress relief and now you’re the one making a fuss huh.”, he coldly says, and it hurts. You fucking know. You both are just parties who fuck, nothing more. You fling his hand away. “Go.”. You didn’t want to say this.

He stands up, without a word and you’re hurt. You want to scream at him, tell him how you want- What do you want?

“Text me when you’re not being a brat.”, he adds and you’re about to throw him out of the window. The door shuts loudly, making you realize what just happened. In a blink of an eye, you frighten away the only one you wanted to keep. You kept staring at the door, hoping he would come back, but his wouldn’t happen. You and Levi were just fuck buddies. Noting more nothing less. It was a secret, you told nobody. Not even your shared circle of friends. You were professionals to keep it a secret.

You realize how you fucked up. What did you expect? That he would graze through your hair, kiss your problems away? You didn’t even want it yourself so why were you so desperate for this kind of affection? Levi wasn’t this kind of person, so were you. That’s why it was never complicated; Until now. Until feelings got in the way.

You curse under your breath, keeping the damn tears, not worth of escaping. You ask yourself what just happened.

 …

“I’m fucked.”

Hanji lets out a frustrated sound, their head banging loudly in the table. You’re petting your friend’s head and Erwin lets out a low chuckle. “How often did I tell you to study for this test?”. Hanji growls and you and Erwin exchange gazes. You stretch out your arm, snapping his holy chocolate drink away from him. “Hey, that’s mine?”. You only grin at him, open his favourite drink and taking a delicious sip. “That’s for being a bigmouth.”, you only say and he only scoffs, but gifts you a cheeky smile hat says, ‘payback is bitch’.

“Hanji, let’s study next time okay? If you pass, I’ll give you 10 packs of your favourite gummy bears- “. You couldn’t finish speaking, because Hanji suddenly clings on you, like you’re their personal saviour, robbing the air out of your throat. “How could I deserve a best friend like you?”, they cried out, the whole canteen was looking at you. “Shithead, they’re looking at you.”

A new voice appears. It was Levi and your mind went automatically blank. After the last not so well proceeded meeting, you didn’t speak to each other. A whole weekend has passed, and you weren’t sure how to act. How did you act before? Why was this so hard now?

“Shorty shut up.”, Hanji spats cheekily, while the man only scoffs, takes his seat next to Erwin. You stare onto your plate, not sure what you’re doing, but you felt his eyes for a split second on you, covered under the attention of your friends. You felt your cheeks burning. Damn your body kindly betrays you.

You felt a rough hand on the back of your hand. You knew it was Erwin’s. “Everything’s alright?”, he only whispers, unheard for the others. You look at him, gave him a reassuring smile, that says ‘don’t worry’

You felt his blue eyes bore into you. He doesn’t believe you, while should he? He knows you better than everyone and yet you lie to him, without missing a second. While you two are having a silent argument, the other two doing their duty to insult themselves. They’re friends, actually, even when it doesn’t look like this. What you don’t register are Levi’s glimpses he gave you. He doesn’t want to admit, but his mind found itself at he thought of you and Erwin and he doesn’t like it. You’re not acting like yourself and he secretly wants to know the reasons behind it; But he’s too afraid to ask.

“You want to meet up at the library for the next assignment?”, Erwin asks you and you gladly go along. Studying with Erwin was always calm, organized and precise. You did actually get work done (different with Hanji).

“When?”

“After today’s class and after our study session I treat you your favourite pizza.”. You smile. “I love you; you know that?”, you let out, wanting to smooth your best friend right now. “Hey, what’s with the lovey dovey?”. Hanji speaks up and you only cringe. “What the fuck?”, you’re letting out and nearly fell from your seat. Hanji and you laugh so loud, that you were entertaining the whole area, but it doesn’t matter.

“Erwin did you hear this?”, you choked out, between your laughs that are actually looking painful, because of your tears escaping your eyes. He heard and Levi did too. Suddenly the raven-haired stands up and leaves, without looking at you. You were instantly quiet, followed with your eyes the disappearance of him. It prickles in your chest, because you promptly thought you did something wrong. “Huh, what’s with him?”, Hanji asks, instead of you. Erwin only shrugs. “He didn’t tell me.”, he only adds, leaving no room for more discussion.

You had the sudden urge to follow him; But you knew it was out of question. Levi wanted it to be a secret between you two. You aren’t even sure if this what is between is still there. Being anxious wasn’t even a term. You decided to text him after your study session with Erwin, hoping he would reply.

 ….

Why couldn’t you be so focused like Erwin who looks like the god himself, studying with no break and then he explains everything so nicely to you? How is he even real? Your head feels so heavy, lying on your arm, while Erwin buried himself in the books before him. 

You smiled, while looking at him. Sometimes there was a little voice in your head, asking why you couldn’t have developed feelings for him? He was perfect in every aspect, he cares, and you knew he had a crush for you long time ago. You loved the silence, and the library was the perfect place for it. Just very few students gather in these halls.

“You’re sleepy, y/n.”, the blond states, earns a mumbling from you. “no, I’m studying.”, you answer, and you hear him chuckle. He ruffles trough your hair, ignoring your pouting, while his finger slightly massaging your scalp. “I don’t know drooling on the books is supposed to be studying.”. Instantly you’re straightening your back and wipe the evidence away. “I’ll grab some coffee and then I’m fit for use. You want some too?”, you ask him, while standing up. He waves and you’re making your way.

You hate that you can’t think straight. The situation with Levi nibbles on your nerves and you couldn’t handle these feelings well, already feeling unease in your stomach. You head out of the library, to go to the vending machines, standing some meters away on the side of the library complex. The sun was slowly setting, and you paused for a while. It was nearly 4 pm and the glow was nearly perfect. The sun feels so nice on your skin that you’re nearly drowning in this moment, completely forgetting your environment.

“Oi.”. You snap out of your daydreaming and the first thing you see was him. Levi, who looks like he actually wants to murder you. It wasn’t his normal stern face; he doesn’t seem in the mood at all. “Hi?”, you reply, feeling already giddy. It was his effect on you. You were already on your knees.

“You could at least tell me your feelings before you fucked with me.”

Your eyes wide, unable to process his statement. “Huh?”, was everything that left your lips and he just scoffed. His expression changes. He looks just dead annoyed and kind of arrogant. “Don’t play with me.”.

You didn’t know what he means. “Levi, I don’t get what you mean?”, you seriously tell him, and you feel how you feel your body tremble.

“Oh, you don’t know that you and Erwin have something going on I was just a side thing?”. He finally speaks and you couldn’t believe what he just said.

“I am fucking right and now go to him, he’s waiting.”. Levi turns around, but you were quicker. Ignoring his hateful gaze, that bores into you, you’re blocking his way. Your palms lie on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat. “you’re an idiot, Levi.”.

“now you’re calling me names. How low.”, he snarls at you, took your hands and threw them away from you. You were a little taken back from his sudden action. “I don’t have anything going on with Erwin. I never had. If you had listened to me, you would know that it was you.”, you finally breathed out, what you always wanted to say; But too scared to do.

“always you.”, you added this in the storm of your feelings. For a bliss you looked into Levi’s grey eyes and then you ran back into the library, leaving him there. Levi is just standing there, in the middle of nothing and totally dumbfounded. He couldn’t handle what you just said. Why did you run away? Levi’s body tell him, to chase you, to ask you if this was true. He really wants to know, but instead of doing so, his body freezes, unable to reach out to you.

Why did he come here in the first place? He assumed that you had feelings for the blond. He watched him, slowly grazing through your hair and he was about to break every knuckle of Erwin’s hand. He had no entitlement to be actually jealous, but he couldn’t stop. He just saw you as someone who’s only there for him. It was out of question for him. He didn’t even have someone beside you. So, when he felt that you’re not like yourself anymore, your eyes miss the sparkle, every time you two are together, he was sure that you liked someone; Not him.

And here you were, telling him with your whole chest, that you like him? Him? Out of all the people that admire you? Levi wouldn’t commit to it loudly, but something in his brain always told him, that he didn’t deserve you at all, not you. When both of you made out at the party month ago, Levi couldn’t believe, that it’s really happened. He was on the constant brink, he could wake up and you’re not laying next to him, your warm skin brushing against his cold one. Now his nightmares were real. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad. You were bare before him, shouting your feelings at him and on the other hand Levi was too scared, too coward to admit.

You were running into the library. You didn’t know where else to go. You just want to leave the scene and him. Erwin instantly notices. His head peaks up, while you try to remain calm; But you couldn’t foul your best friend. He didn’t need to ask where your coffee is or why you had taken so long- He knew. “Let’s get out here, common.”. 

Erwin was a pure angel. You couldn’t speak. Every try you would take; your tears would flow. He grabs your bag, insisting to carry it, while you’re looking like a lost sheep. The blond lead you out of the building and you’re hoping, Levi wouldn’t be there.

You can’t even bring yourself to look around, your eyes are fixed on the ground. “He isn’t here, y/n.”, he reassured you and you could finally breathe. “Erwin, I- “. Instantly tears escaping your eyes and you begin to sob uncontrollably, not finishing your sentence.

“I knew.”, he starts, and you look up to him. You could tell he was disappointed. “I thought you or Levi would tell me, so I waited.”. He sighs, ruffling through your hair, like he always does, and it soothes you a little. “We aren’t in a relationship, I doubt there would be something after this.”, you spoke, feeling your whole body tremble.

“After what?”.

“I confessed my feelings to him, I shouted them, and I ran.”, you answer, and you see Erwin’s little smile, creeping on his lips. “Huh?”

“Why you’re smiling like that?”, you add, waiting for an answer. “You two are unbearable. Thinking we wouldn’t sense something. You two really thought, we were that dense.”

“Hanji too?”. A chuckle was his answer and now you were dumfounded. It was so obvious for them and they kept quiet the whole time? “I hate you both.”, you spat at him with reddened eyes. “We love you too.”. You shove him playfully away, earning a laugh. “I can’t believe you.”, you shout annoyingly. “It’s so damn embarrassing.”

“I found it quite entertaining.”. You punch him. “Anyways it’s over now.”, you breathed out, feeling the tight knot in your heart. “I don’t think so and you know that.”, he interferes. You couldn’t reply to him. You don’t want it to be over. There was this huge misunderstanding between you two, that needs to be solved. He was never a side whatsoever. He was always your first priority, while you were questioning him; To think he thought the same, was draining; to say at least.

“We’ll see.”, was the last thing you would say for now. “I heard you’ll invite me to pizza.”, you changed the topic and Erwin kindly goes along. “I don’t know, when I ever said that.”. Whines left your lips, because he would now play with you. “I have receipts you said that!”, you pout, and he just laughs, leaving the university complex with you.

You knew he would treat you pizza.

….

It was exhausting, draining and everything that is sucking out every last energy you have. Avoiding Levi. It wasn’t your best move, but you didn’t know how to face the older one. Even if you see him in a distance, his raven hair peaks through other people, you ran away. Even Hanji couldn’t believe you two, calling you “lovesick teenager”. You punched them, every time.

Erwin was still around Levi and you were glad he does. They were also friends and you don’t want them to separate, just because you couldn’t talk this out.

“I’m so bad.”, you mumble, with your face buried in your arms. Hanji chuckles. “Looks familiar.”. You groan, wanting nothing more than a good portion of sleep; Forever. “y/n, it isn’t so bad, you can compensate this mark with…”, you don’t listen to them, because it wasn’t just the bad mark that’s on your mind. Your heart aches and it gets stronger, each time you refuse to gain some bravery to speak to him.

“I just wan to see his face…”, you whisper, and you expect Hanji to laugh at you, telling you to ‘just-go-see-him-it-isn’t-that-hard’, but instead there was silence.

“Then why you’re running away from me, woman.”

The first reaction to his voice, was to say ‘fuck’ and you heard Hanji laugh. Fuck. Why was he here, right in front of you and all the others who are watching? Your heart seems to jump out of your chest, while you’re desperately trying to find a way out.

“please go.”, you whisper, not facing him, because your face was red like fire. “No.”, he simply says, and you finally raise your gaze. He stands right before your desk, looking down on you and you feel yourself instantly drawn to him. You hated his effect on you.

“Everyone is watching, you don’t like that.”, you spat, harsher than you want. Why couldn’t you just think straight for once? Levi only scoffs, his hoodie hanging loose on his defined body. “Stop this bullshit y/n and please let us talk.”. Who was he to call this? Why were you so in a mess, that you see his behaviour as provocative?

“I- “. You don’t know anymore. Maybe it was your pride speaking, not yourself. Everything in you was burning, not knowing how to handle the situation well. His eyes soften, ignoring the staring gazes of the others in the lecture hall. “Please.”. The soft and kind of desperate tone in his voice shift something in you. “When?”.

“Now? I heard it was your last lecture.”. You couldn’t decline. You just couldn’t; So, you only nod, excuse yourself from Hanji, who only smiles. You ignore the others, following the man, you’re so deeply in love with, outside. What should you say after your confession?

“Are you free to grab a tea?”, he quietly asks, while you two are heading out of the building. You just nod, having trouble to find the right words.

It was empty on the floor, only your footsteps could be heard. “y/n?”, he breaks the silence and you looked at him. “Can’t you please say something? I- I ‘m not used to you not talking.”, he demands and both halt. Your eyes bore into his. “and I’m not used to this.”, you reply, mentioning his different behaviour.

The mood was tearing. “I know.”.

“but I want to apologize for being such an ass, accusing you of something, just because I couldn’t face my own insecurity of not being good enough for you.”, he breathes out, while his eyes are focused on something else, not looking at you. You could this was difficult for him. His ears were red, not hidden form his silky, black hair.

“Why in the world could you think something like this?”, was the first thing that left your lips. Levi, the most wanted man on the campus was afraid of not being good enough for someone like you? You could only imagine how deep his insecurities root and a part in you always want to discover them.

“The evening, when you left… I was desperate to have you. I just wanted you to hold me, to tell me you’re here and you left.”, you came clean and he looks ropey. It makes your heart ache so much, that you just want to hold him.

“I was anxious, that you want to end things. I misread and I am sorry.”. You sense that he was really sorry. He confesses his feelings out here, not caring for someone to overhear it. “Thank you.”.

Your answer surprises him and you see him searching for words. “I should thank you, y/n. For loving someone like me.”.

That gave you the rest. You instantly found yourself into him. His arms wrap around your frame, drowning you into his scent, you were missing so much. You take a longs exhale, feeling his racing heartbeat against your ear. “you are an idiot.”, you muffle against his hoodie, feeling tears prickling again. He chuckles low, kissing your scalp softly, while his finger grazes over your back. This was more than you could ever ask for. Just him.

“I’m trying y/n okay?”.

You only nod against his chest, squeezing into him more, until you become one. There was more to talk about, but that’s for later.

[insomniacships]

3 10 11 15 insert asks GOO!!!!!

HI ACHILLES THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU i already answered 11 and 15 so i'll be answering just 3 and 10 here BUUUUUUT this is gonna be a long post so get ready cause i'm also gonna talk about individual dynamics here and dropping a bunch of lore because it's one like...... massive polyship (between poly c.om.bat and bite and sylv) but i'm also lore dumping about bite and its family too because there is So So much. it's confusing but i promise it'll make sense

also i'm not kidding when i say this is a long post. i think under the cut alone it's like 4 pages long or something lmao

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i am obligated to start this off with sylv. xhe cares about bite dearly due to the two of them being partners. they were partnered up during their time in the agency together, which led to bite falling head over heels for xher first, then turning to xher reciprocating his feelings. bite is basically xher feral fluffy haired golden retriever boyfriend and it is so so happy to live like that.

i hope it's okay for me to talk about zat here as well because i feel like their friendship could be so complex and i have so so many thoughts. i think zat's okay with him when he's calm, since he has his moments when all he's doing is relaxing. i do think they also find it rather startling when he's like. "huh i'm covered in blood again" and he just. doesn't do anything about it. when bite's terrorizing them, though, that's a different story. bite's a fucking menace and will constantly tease them if he's in the mood. so i'd definitely say their friendship is complicated.

his eldest brother, grim, has a lot of respect for him, despite finding bite absolutely obnoxious. grim was originally positioned alongside jeb to protect the sheriff, but as things got more chaotic over time, he decided to step down when jeb did. when jeb returned with his saviour complex, grim stayed behind, wanting to live as peacefully as he could. when his path crosses with bite's, he greets it with kindness and protectiveness, though he also worries, considering bite is literally the dating the person he and his siblings were working to kill/protect others from.

his sibling, gambit, is an engineer. an important thing to note here is that gambit and acid are twins. gambit is also definitely the more... reserved of the two. they prefer to work quietly where they can, though acid will drag them out of their shell for fights. they feel pretty neutral about bite, more of their anger and aggression is fixated on hank than bite.

his brother closer to him in age, acid, has a lot of mixed feelings about him. acid is very sure of himself in the sense he's doing what's right in being part of the agency, and finds it frustrating that bite just up and left like that. he was the first to point fingers and call bite a traitor, and does not hesitate to point a gun at his younger brother when their paths cross. acid also happens to be a soldat.

hank originally didn't care for bite much at first. it took a lot of time for them to warm up to his chaos because, in their eyes, it was like having a second de.im.os around, and that was already pushing it for them. once they did warm up to him, though, they quickly became very protective of him and they make sure they don't accidentally crush him, since he's the smallest of the group (unless we're counting zat here. haha zat's tiny. i say as bite is literally one inch taller than them. anyways)

doc tolerates him, for the most part. he originally saw bite's skill and thought he could be helpful, though he quickly learned about bite's need for chaos, which has earned him many grey hairs. every time bite opens his mouth, doc ages another year.

de.im.os absolutely fucking ADORES bite. their relationship started as a game of gay chicken (yes i'm making this canon fuck you) because the two of them thrive on chaos together. it drives doc absolutely fucking insane because of the amount of times he's had to patch them up after they do something stupid. they're partners in crime. it's terrifying.

sa.nfo.rd also cares about him a lot and he kind of serves as more of a... voice of reason to de.im.os and bite. but barely. i guarantee you, these three are fucking insane when they're in the same room. the three of them also make for a VERY powerful group in a fight, since the three of them are willing to cause bloodshed without hesitation.

tricky and bite are.... something. they don't particularly like each other, but they don't hate each other, either. bite takes advantage of the fact that tricky's kind of fucked up in terms of the improbability drives, and in a more normal sense outside of canon, they'd probably be like... two guys that hang out that don't really like each other that much. the best way i can think to name their dynamic would be like frat boys but to the left. just. fucked up chaos. i literally cannot explain it more than that.

jeb.us can barely stand him. he finds bite so fucking annoying. like. he sees bite and just goes "can he shut up for FIVE MINUTES" cause in my mind jeb is just a tired old man. let him rest. but noooooo bite is a fucking menace to this man and goes "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PUT UP WITH ME ASKING YOU STUPID QUESTIONS." if i had to explain their dynamic to you all, it would be this. bite goes "GOD HAS LET ME LIVE ANOTHER DAY AND I'M ABOUT TO MAKE IT EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM" and jeb goes "if you're not careful i'll smite you where you stand."

he's barely had any interaction with the sheriff. at one point bite told him to "suck it" but that's pretty much it. rip sheriff.

au.dit.or wanted him dead rather quick. bite was quick to turn on the agency, and due to his skill, the au.dit.or was quickly feeling threatened and started grouping him in with hank and the others in the list of those he wanted to get rid of. he also finds bite incredibly frustrating as bite will taunt the fuck out of him AND has flipped him off on multiple occasions.

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

grim worries about his younger brother's relationship quite a bit, seeing as bite is dating hank. he's constantly worried that bite has gotten himself put into danger or that he'll get hurt, but he also supposes that the job he and his siblings had as agents were far worse in terms of danger.

gambit could honestly care less. they don't care much about their younger brother's choices, they just wanna be left alone to do their job in peace.

acid, on the other hand, fucking hates that bite ended up in the relationship that he did. acid is under the impression that, due to bite's decisions, it has become a traitor to its family and to the agency.

tricky thinks bite needs better taste than hank but doesn't really care. just means more targets to him, more to taunt, more fun to have and more chaos to cause.

jeb thinks bite's more trouble than it's worth to worry about. for that reason, he chooses not to get involved in knowing about his relationships.

sheriff can't say shit cause he's dead lmao

au.dit.or wants all of them dead. that's it. that's the post.

i love how this post went from lore dumping to just memes by the end. anyways i hope this satisfies your need for lore. i Will be making another big lore post but for now this is it