#2. cant you white bitches do that on a different post

[timetravellingkitty]

I'm not listening to a white person on what's racist or insensitive to brown people. read orientalism by edward said before talking to me or my son ever again

[imahoeforsokka]

TTPD LIVE REACTION

1. Fortnight

I AM SO SAD

THIS HURTS

POST MALONE YAYAYAYAY

bro fucking cheated

WTF HAPPENED IN FLORIDA

2. TTPD

oh my god he fucking cheated

is he insane

genuinely

NO-FUCKING-BODY LMAO

CHARLIE PUTH AWW

this is so awful

i’m drowning

YOU TOLD LUCY WHAT????

SHE TOLD JACK WHAT?!!!!!????

he would not marry her i hate him

who else decodes you is insane

3. my boy only breaks his favorite toy

oh?? this is hot??

ok lana del rey relax

OH MY LORD

PUT ME BACK ON MY SHELF???

SAND CASTLES

THIS IS SO PRETYY WHAT

HE SAW FOREVER SO HE SMASHED UP.

HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

not ken

HE TOLD ME IM BETTER OFF BUT IM NOT. OUCH OUCH

4. down bad

ooooooo pretty

cosmic love ok

I MIGHT JUST DIE IT WOULD MAKE DO DIFFERENCE

HEAVEN STRUCK

HOW DARE YOU THINK ITS ROMANTIC

FUCK YOU IF I CANT HAVE US OH MY GOD

jesus he’s gone

5. so long, london

already brutal bc it’s a track five

rip london boy

oh this is COOL

OH MY GOD HER VOICE

oh the tragedy

YOULL FIND SOMEONE

GAVE YOU ALL THAT YOUTH FOR FREE.

ILL FIND SOMEONE.

quiet resentment

not sure if he wants to be THERE

YOU SWORE YOU LOVED ME, WHERE WERE THE CLUES?

I DIED ON THE ALTER WAITING FOR THE PROOF. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

cause i loved this place for so long, london.

that was insane holy fuck

6. but daddy, i love him

wait

is this about

no way??

is this

i feel like im wrong

ok update i was wrong

oh my god this is ouch

BEDROOM EYES LIKE A REMEDY

this is strangely fearless coded?

like mature fearless

this feels like love story got punched in the face?

BITCHING AND MOANING YES

VIPERS DRESSED IN EMPATHS CLOTHING!!!!!!

this is so pretty wow

but brings lovers,,, closer

okay wait i might have been right earlier omg

TRAVIS?

WILD BOY

i’m having is baby is HILARIOUS i love her

i think that was the transition of joe to travis and i’m obsessed

7. fresh out the slammer

ok wild west

pretty baby

another summer, taking cover

he was with her in dreams OK JOLENE

for just one glimpse of his smile

swirled you into all of my poems omg

AMERICAN DREAMS

IMAGINARY RINGS

i did my time

wow.

jack is KILLING IT HOLY HELL

8. Florida!!!

im already scared from track 1

weed or little babies is crazy

is one hell of a drug

hey florence

CHEATING HUSBAND DISAPPEARED

NO ONE ASKS QUESTIONS HERE

is that a bad thing to say in a song? OH MY GOD

ok DRUMS

they have a fun mix woah

ok we like florida cool ok

ok

cool cool cool

ok

shitstorm in texas

that’s so cool omg

9. guilty as sin?

ok hey drums

i have a love song inkling?

oh this is so pretty

mine on my upper thigh omfg

ok this is gorgeous

romantic asf

hey bible

i keep recalling things we never DID

ouch

downtown lights 😭

10. who’s afraid of little old me?

why is bro killing her geez

ok SPOOKY

what scandal

i’m so invested

we could all laugh until i cry

real

oh you SHOULD BE BITCH

ASLYUM

DRUNK ON MY OWN TEARS

oh this is CAMP

ok blank space

her VOICE god

that did not feel like 5 minutes wow

wow.

11. i can fix him

i’m so scared omfg

hello FOLK

this is so pretty wow

ok we are talking’ TEXAS

this shit is SOUTHERN

he just hadn’t met me yet

my man

wow

her VOICE

oh this is HOT

hey jack missed you

WOAH? MAYBE I CANT?

oh my god that was so

wow

12. loml

i. am. scared.

the time i was away??????? rep????

i felt i was better safe than STARRY EYED. OUCH

ONE KISS TO GETTING MARRIED

THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

A MILLION TIMES

you took me to hell too

cinephile

black and white

YOU SHIT TALKED ME UNDER THE TABLE

BRAIDS OF LIES

ILL BE NEVER LEAVE NEVER MIND

LOSS OF MY LIFE.

JESUS.

ARRON GOD DAMN YOU

13. I can do it with a broken heart

hey pool

ok mastermind

oh my god tour

this hurts

geez

BITCH SMILE

HE SAID HED LOVE ME ALL HIS LIFE

CROWD WAS CHANTING MORE

IM SO DEPRESSED I ACT LIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY

IM OBSESSED WITH HIM BUT HE AVOIDS ME

SHE IS SO PRODUCTIVE

i love the voices in the background so much omg

i’m glad she’s proud of herself

CAUSE IM MISERABLE!

AND NOBODY EVEN KNOWS!

ok that was awesome

i laughed out loud

14. the smallest man who ever lived

i’m scared

again

oh god

Jehovah’s witness suit lmao

ha they ghosted him

oh damn.

RUSTING MY SPARKLING SUMMER

OH DAMN

the breath christ

NOT THE PUSH PENS

showed her off barely

this hurts actually

i’m scared for the bridge

oh hello bridge

WOW

A GUN UNDERNEATH OUR BED

WOW

WILL THIS ALL BE DECLASSIFIED

WOW

YOU CRASHED MY PARTY AND YOUR RENTAL CAR

NORMAL GIRLS ARE BORING BUT YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING

holy

actual

frick

wow

wow

wow

15. the alchemy

hey beat ok

touch down ha

ok comeback song

THESE BLOKES WARM THE BENCHES

THATS HILARIOUS

AW

hey LOVE SONG

she had her american revolution song

16. clara bow

i’m scared pt. 3927237

ok guitar

aww cute

hey taylor! pls don’t die, thanks!

DAZZLING

STEVIE NICKS

oh wow

this is stunning

demanding ‘more’

it’s hell on earth to be HEAVENLY

WOW

HEY TAYLOR SWIFT

you’ve got edge she never did

is crazy

ok that’s all bye (until 2 maybe?)

EDIT:

OKAY MAJOR UPDATE SHES INSANE

15 MORE

17. the black dog

oh my god

his location

it’s A BAR

i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me

she’s too young to know this song

do you hate me

was it hazing

six weeks of breathing clean air i miss the SMOKE

wow

wow

wow

18. imgonnagetyouback

ok skirt

you knew the price going in ohmygod

get him back olivia rodrigo??

this is so pretty

oh god the BRIDGE

ERAS FADING INTO GREY

19. The Albatross

ok hey FOLK

CROSS YOUR THOUGHTLESS HEART

oh my god this is GORGEOUS

this is so evermore???

idek

her voice wow

19. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

this opens quick wow

just say “i loved you the way that you were” christ

jesus

this is so beautiful wow

THE GLINT IN MY EYE TRACED THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SIGH

WOW

SCARLET MAROON

this is wow

will i always wonder

20. how did it end

we herby conduct this post mortem!!!

southern accent maybe a little??

this is so pretty wow

oh my god OW

DIDNT YOU HEAR THEY CALLED IT ALL OFF

THE BRIDGE OUCH

d-y-i-n-g OK JUST STAB ME TAYLOR

wow wow wow

21. so high school

CUTE???

SMOKING YOUR JOKES ALL NIGHT

this is so 90s???!???!??!

YOU KNOW HOW TO BALL, I KNOW ARISTOTLE!!;!,!,!,$;$;

TOUCH ME WHILE YOUR BROS PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO?,?,!:!,,$,’

ok this is so cranberries

AMERICAN PIE IS SO CUTE

WOW

this is like making me giddy

ok AWWW

22. i hate it here

QUICK QUICK

AHHH

i’m there most of the year cause i HATE IT HERE

the 1830s w/o the racists and bids real

electriciTEE

obsessed

23. thanK you aMIee

okay here we go

i’m fearing for kim’s life

hometown

OH

hey bully

fucK you aMIee is so funny

kim is shaking

this is kinda country

taylor is so sweet

DAMN ANDREA

that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

wow

beat my spirit black and blue

wow

LMAO

AND SO I CHANGE YOUR NAME AND ANY REAL DEFINING CLUES

HA

NORTH LMAO

okay she’s bat shit crazy for that

24. i look in peoples windows

pretty

hey jack!! (found him)

down down down down

im addicted to the “if only”

GOD

one more time

25. the prophecy

oh, but it’s gone again

I GOT CURSED LIKE EVE GOT BITTEN

ok we are in our religious parallel era wow

god WOW

still dream of him

howl like a wolf at the moon

coven around a sorcerers table

NO SIGN OF SOULMATES

GREIGE

sweet lord

26. cassandra

wow wow

i have nothing else to say

just

WOW

do you believe me now?

THE CHRISTIAN CHORUS LINE

not a single word was heard

27. peter

is it something i did?

god

promises oceans deep, but never to keep

this is beautifully tragic

you said you were gonna grow up

28. the bolter

oh my god.

town car speeding!

slam of a door, then he’ll call her a WHORE!!!!

ouch

this is so different

there’s escape in escaping

then came out alive

29. robin

you have no idEA

this is so bittersweet

wilder and lighter. for you.

30. the manuscript

hey piano

i’d give you my heart if you needed it

but soon it was over

and couldn’t sleep unless it was in her mothers bed

wow

ouch

all that’s left is the manuscript

ok i’m done that’s a perfect album

[vvh0adie]

Aaahhh 💖 I love youuu 💖 how have you been doing? How's drawing and writing going? Did I miss any new updates btw? 😭

lil big life update ig🙃

WRITER LIFE:

i released Strawberry Kisses which is a cute yoongi fic. some mutual masturbation and miscommunication trope👀 its my most liked fic atm. theres even a drabble for this couple.

i’ve been working on a hobi period sex fic thats already 13k for the 1st part, so its a long series🌚

thinking about doing a drug dealer hobi x stripper reader wip. i already have too many wips. and i wanted to do another hopekook series🤦🏽‍♀️

also working on illumi zoldyck fic after starting a rewatch of hxh (1 of my fav animes). two in the works: one with just illumi and another with illumi/machi/shizuku/reader😭 a fourple?

thinking about BTS blog hiatus so i can focus on KCG bc ppl are asking about my All of Us Are Dead fic. so i need to write the second chapter to that.

[more personal below | tw: race relations]

MINOR PERSONAL LIFE:

need to practice driving😐 my bitch ass is 20yrs and cant drive. im a lil scared no lie bcuz memphis drivers are wild😭 i gotta get my license by november or i have to take the permit test over again😰

im finally starting to do technical labs for biotech/forensics🎉 one step closer to my internship!

a little behind on criminal investigation😞

im a little scared how chemistry 2 is gonna go this year. i dont know whats going on😦 im so lost😭

i started my laptop but never opened clip studio😭 i really wanna draw hobi tho. and i need to make stuff for my shop that i really wanna open. i need motivation😞

thinking about learning to code😭 it seems easy; just a lot of words. i wanna design websites. maybe some BT21 themed. now javascript kinda scares me.

MAJOR PERSONAL LIFE:

overall im doing aight so far this year. could be better i think

ive only cried twice this month😀 having some self-image/identity issues and managing to keep my sanity in check with Black History Month after that police brutality murder here in memphis and Ron Desantis bullying the College Board into turning AP Black History into a whitewashed history and Black Conservatism. i feel too hyperaware of the fuckery that is america. it feels like me and every other black person are the only ones really seeing this shit. its tiring and makes me harbor a different kind of hate in my heart for the concept of whiteness that i didnt even know was there. its somewhat hard to see people’s humanity or feel safe around them. i hate to even say this, but since something major happened january, maybe nothing will happen this summer unlike May 2020. im trying to take it one day at a time tho... hehe

you probably weren’t expecting all that but i figured id turn this into a general post😭 sorry if this was too much, even the non heavy stuff. i know when people ask how someones doing they’re prolly asking for something simple but this feels more like a diary entry than anything.

but thanks for asking, not many people do💖 i hope everyone has a kinder year

[im-alyssa-btw]

I posted 651 times in 2022

19 posts created (3%)

632 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@persephonessugarbaby

@dexpairs-blog

@encyclop3dia

@neogale

@izukuwus

I tagged 43 of my posts in 2022

#bnha spoilers - 4 posts

#tokyo revengers - 4 posts

#baji - 3 posts

#keisuke baji - 3 posts

#jjk - 3 posts

#mha spoilers - 2 posts

#my hero academia spoilers - 2 posts

#genshin impact - 2 posts

#genshin impact x reader - 2 posts

#jjkedit - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 75 characters

#no bc i just know we would give each other hair ties if one didn't have one

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im so sick of people automatically making the reader in x readers white/light skinned, like even smuts have it where they point out pink nipples and hand marks showing up on skin like AHHHHH.

like i have those attributes but its not fair to the people who don't look like that. thats why poc!readers seem to be so necessary because bitches cant just use a different word instead of a fucking color.

21 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#4

I NEED A SLOWBURN SPY AU WITH HEIZOU THIS FUCKING INSTANT

specifically with this playlist please lord almighty

50 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

i love how in tokyo revengers fanfics they reader is always cleaning up wounds on the character after they get in a little scrap like do you not remember how mikey can literally dodge several people at once and beat their asses without a single injury?? stop underestimating their asses 😭😭😭

202 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

just wanna let you guys know that foxes do indeed wag their tails when theyre happy, so feel free to use that information in tighnari fics :P

ps: tag me in the fics you use this in please

256 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[exculis]

I posted 23,317 times in 2022

3,964 posts created (17%)

19,353 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/ps2polpo

@/google-searchhistory-official

@/catboyinchief

@/nierbottomata

@/mysticusfreeze

I tagged 4,063 of my posts in 2022

#fashion tag - 54 posts

#doodles - 49 posts

#merms - 26 posts

#colors - 21 posts

#kenny - 18 posts

#ough - 17 posts

#its koi - 14 posts

#abraxos - 13 posts

#me - 13 posts

#guy - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i get brown eggs bc im slightly more intolerant of white egg yolks and if i can reduce the amount of cramping caused by eating my beloved eg

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the moon is my girlfriend and it is soooo cool that so many people were looking at her last night. im like not even jealous or anything even a little

15 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#4

my fursona is drawn

20 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

so sick of websites saying 'we shipped your order!' and then i check the tracking number and theyre like 'they didnt give us the package yet.'

sssstop STOP fucking saying you have 'shipped' my package if all you did was create the shipping LABEL. put that bitch in the mailbox.

25 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#2

Love love love it when men look like women or women look like men or you just cant tell what the fuck someone has got going on. That is so hot to me

86 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i love when men have long hair they should really do that more often

20,855 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

i LOVE the note difference between my #2 post and my #1. that is so fun for me ♥

[relaxxattack]

me: *is about to go to sleep* *sees the ran and jackie classpect post* *rises from my bed and looks at the notes i have* well if i must <3 (warning this is long as hell im sorry KXNSKBS i spent. two hours on this. it is 2am in my timezone now)

jackie is a breath player through and fucking through. a focus on self satisfaction, finding a quest and going after it, being so focused on the positive that he can see a negative thing happen and go "oh well, thats unfortunate. anyways," (think how he hears that ran probably died and just went "aw i liked him" then just sort of. keeps going anyways. picks one thing to really dedicate himself to it and sticks to it, shows negative reactions when they happen but doesnt dwell on them (whether out of discomfort or something else). basically, jackie is all of tubbos breath influence without any of the space influence. accidentally winning just because he really was just that damn dedicated

classwise, jackie is.. a bit difficult to get a handle on, if only because hes very breath like, but at the same time while he seems unconcerned with the idea of losing ran, he still very much so *wants* ran. its that want of a connection, of even just one person to keep around, that takes away the possibility of jackie being a class that would make him detach himself from others at will. hes not a class that would make him desperate for someone to help him take a certain direction, really he seems to want to take others in the same direction he already chose. he also accepts being tethered to one place/thing, he just wants to have freedom w how he goes about it, and it seems like its been this way for a while. ssoooo i want to say witch of breath. manipulating breath or through breath. strong personalities, friendly but terrifying and a force to be reckoned with, knowing what they want and, if healthy, how to get it. often pulling others along for the ride. generally, jackies a healthy witch of breath. he wants someone to show the same freedom he has, but knows he has limits and tethers and works with them, and ultimately hes not too pressed when he cant get his way fully. generally- jackie knows whats going on and what to do about it, but hed rather have fun with it all and show others how fun it all is too

now. ran. this is unfortunately difficult because ran didnt get as much screentime as was planned. L. anyways aspectwise hes definitely one of the ones that thinks theres not really a meaning to life (think of how he just goes "well this place is going down anyways". he doesnt care what choices are taken, hes already real fuckin sure of the end result. cocky bitch). hes not one about facades or selves, bc its rather clear that his blunt and coolguy attitude is, kind of just him, and he doesnt seem interested in deconstructing how others work, just interested in seeing how events play out. i want to say that ran is either void, time, or doom. void fits rans secrecy and overall "irrelavance" (in the sense that he doesnt seem to have contributed anything, not really), but void players are more angsty about how things dont matter rather than accepting it. which leaves time and doom. ultimately, id say time. doom players arent cocky in the right way </3. also just, yknow, the whole possible time traveler ran thing, the drama, the bluntness, internalization, the end of things, fake deep metaphors, etc etc. does mean that there really has to be a focus on the right class to truly pin him down, because most classes when paired with time are more emotional than ran is

so.. rans class. after a lot of deliberation, my main two thoughts are either a maid or a page. however, page means that before the pit, ran didnt have a good grasp on his aspect and after a long while of self awareness training does now, while maid means that either before or during the pit he relies on others to define his aspect. either way, he has a good grasp on it, but its clear that hes not letting himself really be free with it. this is why i want to say maid, because pages are sort of like starting with a disadvantage and just continuing with it even though you could probably fix it if you really tried, but youd rather just focus on what you have and being the best at it. maids are about growing into what you could have. doing what theyre expected at first and getting their aspect from somewhere else. they dont like being passive, but its what gets them the best results, right? but what defines a maid is getting out of that stage, of standing up for themself and defining their aspect for themselves and getting it by themselves, stubborn and becoming powerful and often terrifying, almost more than a witch if they do it correctly. so, basically, rans an aradia kinnie, hes just in his aradiabot phase right now. if he let himself get past that stage though, i think hed be happy

so basic summary: jackie understands that he has limits and tethers and focuses on what freedom he does has, and wants to have someone to experience that freedom with, and is a witch of breath. ran is leaning into the whole "its all hopeless anyways" because those that he relies on define it as such, but he has the potential to be happy and reach his full potential if he just lets himself choose his own path for once (and one thats not unhealthy), and is a maid of time. ultimately its why they work well together, once jackie gets ran to choose to be free with him, theyll both be happy. jackies already at his full potential, and has the power to get ran to choose to reach his full potential as well. bada bing bada boom baby really shows how much absolute Bullshit goes into classpecting because with fuckin classpecting terms you really can squeeze the hell out of characters with 1-2 sentence blurbs of characterization at most. white boys have ruined my life, zayne -🎭🎪

OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE THIS IS SO GOOD

i will actually be stealing all of this for the fic, thank you so much oh my god. this is pretty much the only real good ran and jackie analysis to exist, im going to fucking scream and cry this is awesome

i hope you have SUCH a good sleep you deserve it

wow i cant express how thankful i am for this

(i find it really interesting that both ran and jackie seem to have an end-of-the-world-nothing-matters mindset, but different ways of going about that... genuinely can’t wait to explore that and then let them naturally develop, because hell yeah dude)

[not-close-to-straight]

Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy. 

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf. 

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU. 

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF 

Episode 2: 

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable 

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now. 

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP! 

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor” 

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout? 

Episode 3: 

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that. 

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross” 

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well 

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT 

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG 

A STORK 

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this. 

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit. 

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal. 

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused. 

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT 

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST 

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO 

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing?? 

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION. 

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN 

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting. 

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this. 

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching. 

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel? 

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER. 

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW 

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit. 

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS 

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious. 

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG. 

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it. 

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

[aasphyxious]

He Was Your Christmas (Osamu Miya x Reader)

Hey! Since this is my first fic, I decided to give myself time and post it near Christmas just as a present for y’all! I really hope to write more so it would be amazing if you could submit some suggestions so I can get more ideas. Anyways, since it’s my first time writing lemon it felt a bit...unusual when I was writing it. Ahaha this is really bad, I’m not proud of it at all...but enjoy it, nonetheless ♡

Masterlist (it’s empty for now :) )

Tags: Osamu x Insecure!reader, obsession, lemon with a shitty plot, rough sex, a bit of praise

Warnings: slight self-degredation, this is an insecure!reader, what do you expect??

Synopsis: Insecure y/n can’t wrap presents to save her life, Osamu tries to help...in other ways too ;)

Word Count: ≈5k

Chapter 1

You place your hands delicately on the window sill as you watch the crisp, white snowflakes flutter down from the cloudy, gray sky. You wrap your fluffy, white blanket closer around you and huddle into it and let out a deep sigh. The window fogs up from your breaths so you let out a blanketed hand to wipe it away. As you softly wipe the fog off the window, your eyes fall on a silver-haired boy in the house next to yours. You stare at his beautiful face and his shit-eating smile as he stares at his phone. Your face flushes when he suddenly lifts his eyes off the device and to your window. You quickly look away, but look back to see him waving at you. Calm down, y/n. Why’re you acting like this all of a sudden? You lift an arm out of your blanket and wave back, flashing a smile at him. He smiles back and goes back to scrolling and texting through his phone. Your ears filled with the sound of your heartbeat as you ran back to your bed and hid under your covers. Red filled your face, covering your cheeks and nose. Did the Miya Osamu just smile at you? Yes, yes he did. Still under the sheets, you extend your hand from the blanket to your side table and reach for your phone. As soon as you grab it, you open up the messaging app and immediately text your former-friends.

The BiTcHeS

You YO GUYS GUESS WHAT FJSDFSJF

Akari What ……

Hina What I’m listening

You MIYA OSAMU JUST SMILED AT ME THROUGH MY WINDOWDDFJSDFSLKFJ

Akari That’s amazing

Hina K

You Cant u guys act more  Excited

Akari We don’t even know this dude

Hina U seem to forget we’re in different schools now We have no idea what he’s like

You OK SO

...and so, you continued to go on a tangent about Miya Osamu.

The next morning, you woke up early. Eyeing your cosmetics, you grumble as you force yourself out of bed. After you wash your face, you walk to your vanity and sit in the short chair. You stare at your face in the mirror as you grab the shining foundation bottle. One stroke...two...three...four...Eventually, your face was covered in a sickeningly thick layer of make-up, covering your original face. You coated your lips in a pink-tinted lip gloss and threw on your nicest clothes as you grabbed breakfast and headed out the door.

You hug your bag close to you and take a shaky, deep breath. It was the second week you were in your new school. You moved in the middle of the year so everyone already had their friend groups and cliques. You were outcasted, not on purpose, but just by how society worked. One...two...three...four...five steps and ongoing. Counting was always a calming mechanism for you. You took a deep breath every once in a while. Twenty-four...twenty-five...twe- 

“Oi, watch where yer going!” A blonde boy stood in front of you, giving you a look as sharp as daggers. He looked down on you and your eyes widened.

“I’m so s-sorry I didn’t mean t-to-” You stammer, your eyes burning as you try to keep your tears back.

“‘Tsumu, just forget it. Ya shoulda seen her walking anyways.” Osamu gave his brother a deadpanned look and glanced at you softly. Your heart skipped a beat. You gave him a pressed smile and continued walking. The twins stood back for a few seconds and walked behind you at a considerable distance. You walked faster and faster and hid your face under your thick scarf. Your cheeks were on fire. You didn’t know whether it was because of the cold or because Miya Osamu just stood up for you. You no longer counted your steps, you daydreamed about Osamu. You daydreamed about how he smelled. How he looked with glasses. How his breath would feel against your lips. You daydreamed about how your glossy, half-lidded eyes would gaze into his and how he would return the gesture with a kiss on the forehead. Your cheeks were engulfed in a deep red once you realized what you were doing. You steadied your breathing and ran the rest of the way to Inarizaki High.

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

It was time for lunch. You awkwardly sit at one of the circular tables in the corner of the cafeteria, away from the other students. You watched as different groups giggled and gossiped. You fidget and shuffle your feet together, taking small bites of food every once in a while. Your eyes wandered around the cafeteria and landed on the group of boys Osamu was in. He is in a volleyball club right? Those must be his teammates… You continued staring, just as you did in the window yesterday. You took note of the color of his eyes, the way his hair would sometimes fall in front of his eyes, how he would make eye contact with everyone at the table. You observed the way his lips would move as he talked and his rows of perfect teeth when he occasionally smiled. Everything about him was beautiful.

You eventually tore your eyes off him once you heard another group of girls giggle and stare at the twins. Their hair were in perfect curls, their lips were plump and glossy, their faces were delicate and precise. They were perfect. And they were crushing on the same man you were. You placed a hand lightly on your cheek and traced your chin with your finger. Could I be like them? Am I as pretty as them? Osamu would obviously choose them over me, right? You placed your hand on your hair, stroking the h/c strands. A glistening tear fell from your tear ducts. Your foundation ran off your cheeks, each layer being rubbed off by your own tears. You bury your face in your hands, not caring that make-up got all over your fingers. You held in your sniffles and gasps and got up to run to a bathroom stall. You wipe off your make-up and reach into your little purse to get more foundation. It was no use, your tears kept flowing. You rubbed off any make-up you had put on. Taking a deep breath in, you slowly walked out of the stall and tried to cover your face with your hands. They’re looking at me, aren’t they? You don’t peak from between your hands. You would rather see the blackness than the peering eyes all around you. The bell rang, lunch was over. You ran to your locker and recited your schedule in your head. Math. Math was next. Your face heated up and blushed just thinking about math. You tear your math notebooks out of your locker, holding them high enough to cover your mouth and down. 

As you got to the math room, Osamu already sat in his seat. He rested his head on his hand as he stared out the window. Rays of light washed over his face. His perfect nose and lips were framed by the light. His entire presence was blinding and bright. Once again, your heart skipped a beat and you found yourself staring at him again. His head turned around to meet your glistening eyes, still red and puffy from crying. Your eyes widen and you look away, taking your seat next to him. He turns to you in his seat.

“Are you okay?”

Chapter 2

“Are you okay?”

Those words rang in your head, echoing off the walls. It felt like a chant in your brain. You stood silent for a little bit. Should you answer truthfully? Should you lie? You were overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions. You were on the verge of tears but you also wanted to crack a smile. Your body had no idea how to react. 

“Y-yeah I a-am” You squeak out, your voice as soft as a mouse, turning away so he can’t see your face. He took one last look into your eyes and turned in his seat to face forward. No smile, no words of assurance, just a deep look in the eyes. 

Class started and you tried your best to focus on the teacher and what he was teaching, but you couldn’t help sneaking a few glances to Osamu. He looked just as perfect as he did before, maybe even more perfect. You smile to yourself. That simple gesture of a look to the eyes. It was so powerful. To others, it may have just been a sign of respect. But to you, it was a sign of affection. You didn’t care if that’s not what he meant to show, but you cherished it anyways. So, right there, in the middle of the class, you daydreamed again.

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

School ended and you ran out as fast as you could. Pulling your scarf over your head, you run out of the entrance and slow down once you’re on the sidewalk. You can hear a group of girls teasing each other, “Well obviously I’m not getting you a car for Christmas!” “Well duh you won’t!”

Christmas, huh? The thought of shining lights, towering evergreen trees, and wrapped presents near a fireplace gave you a smile. Your heart warmed by the thought of Christmas and its festivities. Finding yourself with a pile of presents on Christmas day made you feel grateful and enlightened. It made you feel special.

You hummed as you skipped home, no longer caring about your bare face. You were preoccupied by what you should get your former friends for Christmas. What would Akari want? Hina? I have to give them something big...no, no...If I get them something big, they’ll complain and immediately ship it back to me… You chuckle, remembering the memories you had with them every Christmas. You would meet up the day after to share what you got and give each other your presents. Every year, you take your presents and place them next to the previous years’ on your vanity. Once you moved away, you would still keep the presents on your vanity for the memories. Reaching your front door, you carefully unlock it and close it. You already start to plan what you’ll get Akari and Hina as soon as you fall face-first into your bed. Ideas run through your mind so you write down each one of them. Your mind goes off track, what if I got something for Osamu? No...all his fangirls would give him presents anyway. But would it hurt to try? You turn your head towards the window and peered into Osamu’s window. You watched him bite his lip as he did homework at his clean desk. His brows were furrowed and he tapped his pen onto the wood. You look away. Was what you’re doing wrong? Was this stalking? You couldn’t help yourself. You wanted to see him. You wanted to see what he looks like when he’s happy, sad, angry. You wanted to see everything. You peek into his window again, out of love or curiosity, you didn’t know. You stared and stared in secrecy. Little did you know, he would stare too. 

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

Christmas break started. It was the best time to finally buy presents. You grab your savings from under your pile of papers in your desk and head over to the mall. You buy your presents for Akari and Hina. They were simple. Some clothes and jewelry, maybe even a few comic books and some stationary. As you head your way to the exit of the mall, you are suddenly overwhelmed by this feeling of I forgot something. Still walking towards the exit, you see a shoe store. Does Osamu like shoes? Does he need new ones? Should I even get him something volleyball related...I don’t want his twin to steal his stuff… You walk into the shoe store. The fresh smell of new shoes and shoe boxes flutter into your nose. You look around. What shoes are good for volleyball anyways? What’s his shoe size? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BUY HIM SHOES IF I DON’T KNOW HIS SHOE SIZE??? You walk out of the store and blush in embarrassment from your mistake. You need more ideas. Then it hits you. Osamu loves to cook. 

You run to the cooking store. What should you get? Pots, pans, spatulas? No, this isn’t Spongebob… Spices. You head to the spice section. The smell of spices filled the aisle. Your mouth watered at the idea of food and cooking. You were swept into a world of aroma and flavor. You chose three packages of spice and headed to the counter and paid. Your head was dizzy from all the smells. As you head your way back home, you see the twins on their way to the mall too. You blushed, WHAT DO I DO? WHERE DO I HIDE? You pull your scarf over your head and keep on walking, praying that they won’t notice you.

“Hey y/n, whatcha doing there?” Osamu says softly, only making you blush more. You unwrap the scarf from your head. Atsumu glanced at you and smiled, but looked away.

“OH...Hey Osamu, Atsumu...hahahaha! I was just heading back from the mall...” You awkwardly chuckle.

“Oh yeah, we’re heading there too...If you already didn’t buy what you needed I would’ve invited you to come with us…” Osamu spewed. Atsumu slapped him on the back and ushered him forward.

“Okay, c’mon ‘Samu let’s hurry up.” Atsumu mumbled desperately. You both continue in separate ways. You can hear Osamu cursing out his brother behind you, blushing at the fact that Osamu wanted to talk to you. Your heart was running at 100 miles per hour non-stop. Your face was flushed and you could feel heat filling up your face. You bury your face into your scarf in embarrassment and run home. After changing into your pajamas, you head to the living room and switch on the TV. You put it on the loudest volume, trying to drown out the thoughts in your head. Your mind was filled with Osamu and Osamu only. You couldn’t think of anything or anyone else. You tried to keep back your desire of just running to the mall right now, in your pajamas, and telling him your feelings right there. You didn’t care if it was in front of his brother. You didn’t care if it was even in front of the whole mall. You had to get your feelings out to him. You had to tell him someway. Somehow. If this gift you were giving him wasn’t enough to tell him your feelings, you wouldn’t know what to do. You grab a chunk of your hair, pulling it lightly and balling up your fists. You couldn’t handle the stress of not telling him. Not seeing him. Not being with him. You needed him. You needed to let your feelings out. You turn the TV off, hoping not to make your headache worse. You grab paper and a pen from your room. You write. You write love letters to him, tearing them up each time you finish one. You write and write until the pen no longer works, refusing to let out any ink. You brush your hand through your hair and wipe your tear-stained face. You couldn’t get him out of your head. You were obsessed. 

Chapter 3

Your phone’s alarm blasted off under your pillow. You groaned as you shoved your hand under your pillow and pressed the “Dismiss” button. Shuffling out of bed, you look towards the window. Light was pouring in, bathing your room in an ethereal glow. You smile as you watch the dust flutter around your room under the light. You take one last look to the window and look into Osamu’s window. The light flooded into his room too, washing him in a light that only made him more beautiful. He was delicately and carefully wrapping presents, and he was pretty good at it too. You watched as he sat on his desk, carefully folding and cutting the wrapping paper over the presents, occasionally ripping a piece of tape and placing it on his table to use for the next present. You look away as you realize you need to wrap presents too. You go about your daily routine and run back up to your room. You grab the bag of gifts, wrapping paper, and tape next to your desk and sit in your chair. You take a big sheet of paper and cut it so you have enough to work with. You place a box, containing your gifts to Akari, in the middle of the paper. Is this how you do it? Every year you go through the same thing. No matter how many YouTube videos or people teach you how to wrap presents, you could never do it. You always had someone do it for you. Nevertheless, you tried again. You always got one fold wrong, or you cut too little, or the overall end-product looked disgusting. You cursed at yourself for still not being able to wrap presents.  You turn back to your window and peer into Osamu’s, hoping to see how he wraps them. But he was already finished. And he was staring at you.

Your eyes widen and you blush profusely. Was he watching you struggle to wrap presents this whole time? You stammer, “I-it’s not what it looks like,” but realize he probably can’t hear you. You hear a slight cracking noise, Osamu opened his window. You get up and do the same. He rests his head on one hand on the window sill.

“You can’t wrap presents?” He chuckles, using his other arm to point to the failure of a wrapped present on your desk. You blush and cross your arms.

“No matter how many times I try, I can never seem to do it!”

“Do you want me to help ya?”

You widen your eyes and nod your head. “S-so, how are we gonna do this…” You stutter, half-chuckling.

He puts his hands flat on the window sill and rests his head on them. “Should I come over?”

Your heart, that was already beating 100 times a second, beat even faster. Your face gets redder and you avert your eyes to the side, breaking your eye contact.. “S-sure I guess.” You watch him get up and close the curtain. You close your window and stand in front of your front door, waiting. After a few minutes, you hear someone walk up to the door and ring the bell. You meekly unlock the door and let him in. He towered over you, sweetly smiling at you from above. You tremble and blush under him, his sweet smile doing anything but calm you down. You return a smile and lead him towards your room. Miya Osamu is in my room. Mine?!? I-  You welcome him in and encourage him to sit somewhere. He sits on your bed and brushes his hand over the blankets, admiring how clean your room was. You blushed as you sat in your chair and squeaked out, “S-so...uh...are you gonna help me?”

“O-oh, yeah.” He stammered as he got up. Is he nervous too? You thought. He kneeled down on his knees behind you. You tensed up in your chair, shuffling your feet and fidgeting. He reached his arms around you and you started to wrap the presents. “No, no! You fold this here so you can fold it here too!” He critiqued. You did as he said. He continued to tell you what you were doing wrong and how each step flowed into the next one. The way he explained it stuck in your head. You understood what he meant and how to use the thin paper to your advantage. You notice his beautiful hands. Veiny and bony in all the right places. You notice how they wrapped around your arms in an affectionate manner, guiding you. Eventually, you ended with a beautiful, wrapped present. He grabbed a bow on your desk and ripped the paper on the bottom off, revealing the adhesive. He stuck right on top of the present and whispered, “Perfect.” into your ear. You felt your face get warm. He placed his chin on your shoulder and turned his head to kiss your neck softly. Your stomach was doing somersaults as you turned your head a bit to the side so he had more access to your neck. His lips brushed over your neck as he placed kisses, slowing tracing up to your jaw, and eventually your lips. Your heart was beating non-stop when he turned to face in front of you. His lips grazed against yours, his eyes looking deeply into your e/c ones. You closed your eyes when you felt his lips press against yours softly. You moaned into his mouth at the sudden gesture. The kiss suddenly became heated when you felt his tongue enter your mouth. You open your mouth a bit more when his tongue begins exploring the inside of your mouth into every crevice. When you were just about to return it, he suddenly pulled away. “Baby, why don’t you go on the bed for me.” He hummed. You blushed, your face an unbelievable shade of red. You sat on your bed and layed down slowly. Self-consciously, you huddle and hug your body. Osamu was on top of you. Pure love and lust was in his expression. You blushed and looked away. He bent down and whispered, “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“N-no I want t-to!” You squeal, looking back into his eyes.

“Then why are you covering up?” He teased. You looked at him with furrowed brows and confidently spread out your arms and legs under him. Your confidence wasn’t very long lasting until he whispered, “That’s not what I meant by covering up, baby.” You widen your eyes and slowly start taking off your top. You realize you weren’t wearing anything under this. You hesitate until Osamu eggs you on with his desperate eyes. You continue taking off your top, revealing your smooth, perky breasts. “Mmm? You didn’t even wear anything under even though I was coming over!” Osamu took no time to start playing with them. He kneaded your boobs with his hands, looking carefully at you to see your reactions. He brushes his thumb over your hard nipple, giving you a soft look.

“O-Osamu…” You whine. He goes crazy as he feels his erection get harder with every moan you let out from your lips. He leans down and starts sucking on your nipples, using his other hand to stimulate the other one. He loved the way you would squirm under him. He loved how you would press your thighs together from the stimulation. He pulls off your nipple with a soft pop and starts kissing down your body, starting from your sternum to your belly. With each kiss, he whispered soft praise, “You’re so beautiful...so perfect...I love you…” It didn’t take him long to get to the waistline of your pants. Osamu looks up at you, asking for permission. You lightly nod. He swiftly pulls down your soft, silk pants to reveal your equally soft and silky legs. You were a blushing mess in front of him, just how he wanted it. He lightly opened up your thighs, your pulsating pussy just in front of his nose. You shut your eyes when he suddenly licks your folds in one broad stroke. 

“Oh~ It feels so good!” You scream as his tongue explores your folds and clit. He smiles, biting your clit a bit.  He releases his grasp on one of your thighs and shoves one of his fingers into your tight hole. You squirm as your slick seeps out of your hole and folds.

“Mmm~ You taste so good,” Osamu praised. Your face was red and your clit was swollen. He licked and slurped. You couldn’t handle the feeling anymore. You loved the feeling of his tongue filling your hole. You loved the way he would occasionally nibble at your clit. You rub your heat into his face, desperate for more stimulation. Osamu pushed his fingers in harder, faster. You could feel a knot in your stomach form. 

“I’m coming!” You scream as your wetness gushes into his mouth and chin. As he rose from your pussy, you could see your slick dripping from his mouth and chin and all over his fingers. You were about to tease him until he suddenly smashed his lips into yours so you could taste your own slick. When he pulled away you were flushed.

“You taste good, don’t you think?” He sings. Your thick blush gets redder. Seriously, how much redder could you get? You eyed the tent in his pants. You mischievously push him over. With your newfound confidence, you straddle him and pull his shirt off. You looked at his toned and sculpted muscles. I mean, what would you expect from a volleyball player anyways? You palmed his clothed member under your slit. Pulling down his pants carefully, you continue rubbing his cock. He moaned lightly, covering his mouth with his palm. You bend down, rubbing your hand up and down his long, thick cock. You could tell he was blushing, even though his hand was covering his face. You bend your head near his long cock. Would that even fit in me? You think as you start placing kisses all over the base and tip of his member. After an excruciating length of time of just teasing him, you finally put the tip in your mouth. Osamu struggled in not jolting up and forcing you to take his whole cock in your mouth. He softly places a hand on your hair and grabs a chunk. He leads your head down on his cock carefully. You gag when your lips touch the base of his cock. “Oh fuck, y/n” He groans. IIt was hard to breathe and you could feel drool and spit pool in your mouth. It was so hard to keep your gag reflex back when you slid your mouth back to the tip and down again. Your eyes teared up as his cock hit the back of your throat, your gags vibrating through his member. You force yourself to go back up and down, balling up your fists. Osamu took his hand off his mouth and lowly moaned. “Oh, baby. Just like that. I’m gonna cum soon.” You went faster and faster upon hearing those words. You could feel his cock start to twitch in your mouth as thick, white cum seeped onto your tongue. You let the warm fluid slip down your throat, opening your mouth to let Osamu see your empty tongue. “Good girl,” he teases. 

In a split second, he’s on top of you, his member rubbing against your wet pussy. You moan, the feeling of his spit-covered cock rubbing and slapping against your clit was already too much for you. He finally lined his cock up with your aching hole. You swallow your spit and drool when he suddenly pushes his full cock into you. You scream, tears filling your eyes. Osamu couldn’t hold back anymore. His instincts were telling him to ram into you mercilessly, so that’s what he did. He needed the feeling of you clamping around his cock. He needed to hear your screams and moans. He needed to smell your juices seeping out of your pussy. He needed you. He needed ALL of you. 

To you, it hurt. But it was a good hurt. It felt so amazing. The feeling of him filling you up. The feeling of you squeezing around his cock. The feeling of tears filling your eyes to the brim. You loved it. You loved him. You try to count each thrust, one, two, three, but he was slamming into you so quickly, it was beyond impossible. You focused on the amazing feeling of being close to your orgasm, the sounds of skin slapping as he shoved his member into you, the scent of his and your cum...everything. You could feel a knot in your stomach form again. Curses and praises fell from your lips, it was a chorus of “fuck, Osamu!” “so good, Osamu!” Him hearing your whines only caused him to push into you harder and faster as you fell into your orgasm. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” was all Osamu could breathe out. You spasmed under him as your juices gushed out of your ravaged pussy. Osamu pulled out and gave his member a few pumps before cumming on your stomach and breasts. You moan just from the feeling of his warm cum covering your body. You use a finger to scoop a bit off and lick it seducingly. Osamu, flustered, stands up from the bed and grabs a few tissues from your desk, carefully wiping the rest of his cum off your body. You count each stroke of the tissue, calming yourself down. .

He plops down next to you in your bed, placing your arms around you in a sweet embrace. You could feel his warm breath against you, an overwhelmingly warm feeling rushing to your heart. You counted every time he exhaled against you. Every beat of his heart. Every bat of his eyelashes. He was with you. He thought you were special and beautiful and everything in between. He loved you. He was a gift. He was your gift. 

He was your Christmas.

Fin.

© all writings belong to aasphyxious 2020. do not repost or change.

[aer-in-wanderland]

 구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - Lost in Translation EP01

In which my sister and I sat down with a pint of mint chocolate chip and wrote down everything that occurred to us while watching the fan-subbed version of TotNT EP01. Contains mild spoilers. 

Prologue

We open with an excerpt from the Hyeonjoonggi (현중기・玄中記), which the internet informs me originated in China sometime between 265-317 CE. In Korea in particular, gumiho are typically thought of as being female, but this is an example of a classical text that says they can be either. From what director Kang Shin Hyo said at the TotNT press conference, the premise of TotNT began with the idea of challenging this base assumption by making the gumiho male and placing him in modern-day Seoul. I would translate the passage as follows:

When a fox becomes 100, it can become a beautiful woman, or become a man who has relations with women. A fox that lives for 1000 years communes with the heavens and becomes a cheon’ho (heavenly fox). Its gifts are like that of a powerful shamaness; it can perceive things more than 1000 leagues distant.”  

To my sense, the passage was introduced to show precedent for the existence of male gumiho in traditional folklore, as well as to illustrate that foxes over 1000 (cheon’ho) can be closer to deities than monsters.

On to the show. The year is 1999. I’m surprised the subs left ‘Fox Ridge’ untranslated as Yeou Gogae since it seems like it would be relevant information that the place where the accident takes place is somehow tied to foxes. 

When the imposter parents (who I believe are also foxes) chase little Ji Ah up into her room and her not-dad says, “You little brat!” (or at least, that’s what the subs we’re watching say), this is an example of what’s called ‘code switching.’ His phrasing is somewhat old-fashioned, which in this case helps to give the impression that he’s not human since it’s the cant of creatures in traditional fairytales. For anyone studying Korean, the line is, “요 년 봐라,” where ‘nyeon’ might mean anywhere from ‘girl’ to ‘wench’ or even ‘bitch.’  

Okay, I have to ask. Does no one else in Seoul drive on Fox Ridge? How did Ji Ah have time to go home, get attacked, and then be returned to the scene of the accident (I’m assuming by Yeon) before anyone came across it? 

Also, how did Yeon know where to take her? He tells grown Ji Ah that he just happened upon her after catching the scent of blood, but I get the sense there’s more to the story than that. I feel like this is part of a larger pattern wherein Yeon goes out of his way to rescue someone and then pretends as if he didn’t.

Episode 01 Title Card: What Happened on Fox Ridge

According to Yeon’s alarm, our current timeline begins on Saturday, August 29, 2020, and he has a wedding to attend. 2020 yet no COVID19? I guess this really is a fantasy drama. ;p

The BGM playing while Yeon gets ready is called ‘The Fox's Wedding Day,’ or, more literally, ‘day when a fox goes to be married’ (Yeou ga shijip ganeun nal) and it’s actually Yeon’s theme. I was expecting his theme to be the track entitled ‘Gumiho,’ but I guess not lol

The sun-shower. In both Japan and Korea, a sun-shower is known as ‘a fox’s wedding’ (kitsune no yome-iri/yeou ga shijip ganeun nal), so this is already cluing us in that the bride is a fox (I say ‘bride’ because both these phrasings typically apply to a bride marrying into her husband’s house. The phrasing is different for grooms, who ‘receive’ the bride). This is what Yeon means when he arrives at the wedding hall and says, “That’s because a fox is getting married today.”

It’s strange to me that the bride’s identity has completely dropped out of the subs. She’s Yeou Nui (literally ‘fox sister’), a folklore character of the Brothers Grim-style horror school of fairytales. Her thing is that she’s a gumiho who preys on families with only sons who desperately want a daughter. She insinuates herself into their lives, brings calamity down upon them, and finally, eats their livers. Like most fairytales, there are many permutations of her story, but many of them feature her saying she’s consumed 999 livers. I understand where - absent this context - some people might have seen Yeon as the bad guy here (spoiler: he’s not). 

The subtitle here for Yeon’s line says: “But you need to know that changing your identity isn’t as simple as you think.” What he literally says is:

Yeon: How did you go to ground so completely? You think that if you change your face and your identity, your blood-stained past will change too, right? But changing lives isn’t as simple* as changing subway lines. [*Note: ‘simple’ is in English]

This is the first real dialogue we get from Yeon, and one thing it’s doing very intentionally is showcasing just how much he’s adapted to modern life. It does this both with the content of what he says (talking about changing subway lines), as well as with the amount of English loan words he tosses around. So I personally would have kept the bit about the subway in if I had been translating. 

Yeou Nui’s line was translated as, “Please forgive me,” but it should more properly be, “Spare me,” or “Let me live.” Yeon is an enforcer, not a judge. (Also, ‘forgive’ is another word entirely).

Yeon’s line that’s subbed, “Listen, you fox. How could you dare dream of having a happy ending after eating so many livers?” is the result of what’s called diagonal translation, which is an unfortunate side-effect of subtitling conventions. What he literally says is:

Yeon: Yeou Nui, after eating the livers of countless adoptive parents and older brothers* how can you dream of a happy ending? 

[*Note: The word he uses for ‘brothers’ here is 오라비들, which is a semi-antiquated word, and again, the sort of language used in folktales] 

Yeon’s line, “Here’s a piece of advice” is more literally, “Here’s a bit of advice stemming from experience,” which is the first hint we get in-drama that he’s been in a similar position. 

Nam Ji Ah

We get our first introduction to adult Ji Ah as she narrates the script she’s editing for her TV program on her way to the wedding hall. When Jae Hwan worries about her changing the script without the writer’s permission (again lol), Ji Ah's response translated literally would be: 

Ji Ah: Then let’s go with this. PDs’ livers have to be swollen or coming out of their bodies. 

That’s a pretty disgusting image in English, so I don’t blame the subs for changing it to something more sensical and less graphic. But as a cultural note, in Korea and Japan, having a large liver means to be gutsy or brave. Ji Ah’s character description similarly describes her as, ‘a woman whose liver is [so large it’s] coming out of her body,’ meaning she’s about as gutsy as it gets. 

Okay, call me a cynic, but I loved Ji Ah’s line about not being able to digest wedding food due to the choking atmosphere of forced happiness pfft 

Jae Hwan saying, “Who knows? You may meet your destined partner at a place like this,” as Yeon walks by in the background = Jae Hwan unwittingly hitting the nail of the head #1

Lol Yeon acting like a bored kid held captive at a dinner party while the wedding takes place. Bless Lee Dong Wook because I’m sure it’s all ad libbed. I feel like this could be a game: spot the LDW ad lib. 

The Wedding Hall Incident

When Yeon returns to her dressing room after the wedding, Yeou Nui changes tactics from begging to putting her hackles up and challenging Yeon. Linguistically, that’s marked by her code switching to an archaic cant. Yeon, however, remains unfazed and responds with the most modern thing possible, completely undermining her bravado:

Yeou Nui: Oh former master of Baekdudaegan, what authority have you to condemn us?

Yeon: Get a hold of how she’s talking (rhetorical). Hey, if it wasn’t for you I would’ve been watching American TV shows while eating ice cream today!

Okay, I love the way Yeon materializes his sword. I thought he was (un-)transforming his umbrella at first, but he later does it with a plank of wood so I assume he can do this with pretty much anything?

On the topic of his sword, I posted a gif set not long ago referring to it as a sa’ingeom (사인검), literally ‘Four Tigers Sword’ (referring to the year, month, day, and hour of the tiger when such swords were supposedly forged). You’ll notice it doesn’t have a cross-guard since they’re traditionally ceremonial swords rather than actual weapons. The first sa’ingeom were made during the reign of King Taejo (1392-1398), but I assume they gave him one despite it being somewhat anachronistic because they’re also said to cut down evil spirits and ward against calamity. Mostly, though, it looks really cool and is very traditionally Korean. 

Not for anything, but I love this BGM track that’s playing during the wedding hall fight (‘The Uninvited’). This short action sequence was so great. I wish we could have seen more of Yeon hunting down supernatural baddies. Also more of those gumiho eyes. More gumiho everything in general. 

As he stabs her, Yeon’s line to Yeou Nui in the subs was rendered as, “Don’t do something stupid like falling in love in your next time.” I would have translated this as, “If you’re reborn, don’t do something so [useless] as falling in love.” Again, for anyone studying Korean, the phrase is ‘사랑 따위" (sarang ddaui). ‘Ddaui’ means ‘such a thing as,’ and it’s always used to disparage whatever proceeds it. There’s no good way to communicate that disparagement in English grammatically, so I opted for ‘useless’ in an approximation. 

The BGM that plays the first time Ji Ah spots Yeon leaving the wedding hall is called ‘White Pupils’ (or literally ‘white eyes’). The imagery typically associated with that is death, so I’m curious what inspired the track title. Maybe they mean ‘white eyes’ like the fortune teller since it’s used at fateful moments?

“Who knows? That may be the story you were destined to cover.” = Jae Hwan unwittingly hitting the nail on the head #2

“Were they mass hypnotized or something?” = Jae Hwan unwittingly hitting the nail of the head #3. Thank you, exposition fairy. ;)

Okay, when Ji Ah and Jae Hwan examine the scene, Ji Ah’s line is subbed, “I need to see what that woman of this love story looks like,” which is ungrammatical in addition to being wrong. What she actually says is:

Ji Ah: I need to see the face of that protagonist of the Romance of the Age. [And I believe the ‘protagonist’ she was referring to is actually Yeon ;) This is bordering on meta, seeing as he’s actually the protagonist of the epic romance that is TotNT] 

Kim Soo Oh

The BGM playing while Yeon sits in the park people-watching and then looks pensively at his hand is called, ‘Thread Rings.’ Between that, what LDW alluded to in his VLIVE, and some still cuts I saw of deleted scenes from EP16, I’m convinced there was something more to those rings that got cut due to time constraints. ㅠㅠ

Fun fact: This scene between Yeon and Soo Oh was the first scene of the drama that they filmed.

When Soo Oh asks Yeon what he’s doing there, the sub for Yeon’s response was, “Nothing other than waiting for someone.” That strikes me as off in tone as well as pacing. I would have translated it as, “Just.....waiting for someone.” (which is literally what he says).

When Soo Oh asks Yeon why he’s waiting, the sub says, “Because a fox can only love one person till death.” I don’t really have a problem with that translation, but what he literally says is, “Once a fox takes a mate they never forsake them. Until death.”

Sub: “How are you coping with that?” / “Not well.” > Literally: “Are you okay?” / “I’m not okay.” I actually like the sub here since it better conveys how precocious Soo Oh appears in this scene. He seems to alternate between precocious and adorably dim throughout the drama depending on who he’s with, though when he’s with Rang, it’s mostly the latter pfft

When Yeon turns down Soo Oh’s offer of friendship he says, “Your nose. I’m not big on men with runny noses. And human lifespans are too short to be friends with me.” Yeon's use of ‘men’ struck me as funny since I guess to someone over 1600 years old, an 8 year old and an 80 year old aren’t all that different. Also, Yeon giving serious life advice to an 8 year old is adorable. He talks to him like he’s an adult. 

The Afterlife Immigration Office

Between the BGM and the way the camera pans up the endless levels of shelving, did anyone else feel like Yeon entered Hogwarts for a sec? (not complaining) ;)

For the record, Yeon uses banmal with Taluipa and calls her halmeom (granny). In contrast, Hyeonuiong is pretty much the only character Yeon speaks to in jondaetmal and addresses respectfully as ‘elder’ (eoreushin). He speaks to Ji Ah’s parents politely as well, but it’s mainly because they’re her parents.

The text introducing Taluipa’s character wasn’t translated in the version we’re watching but it reads: ‘The god who rules over the River of Three Crossings (Samdocheon), the boundary between this world and the next.’ The hanja for her name (奪衣婆) refer to her traditional role, namely, removing the clothing of the dead for her husband to weigh on the Uiryeong’su (su = tree) to measure the weight of their sins. This is the same tree that the Uiryeong’geom (the wooden sword that appears in EP13), is allegedly carved from.

Lol Taluipa saying she has to keep up with the times but also using a computer that’s positively ancient (come to think of it, it’s probably from the 80s since that’s her favorite decade)

Again, I’m surprised that Yeou Nui’s character name dropped from the subs completely. The subs here just say, ‘the female fox.’

For Taluipa’s line, the subs say, “You’re to obey the order and capture who you’re sent after,” but that’s a loose approximation. More literally, it should be: “If the higher ups say to bring someone in, then you just have to bring them in.” I’m only mentioning it because the line implys that both Taluipa and Yeon report to someone higher up the chain of command. Otherwise they may be misconstrued as Taluipa’s orders. 

Yeon’s line, “My compulsory military service has gone on for 600 years. How could I not go crazy?” is hilarious when you consider that Korean men are required to complete 2 years of military service, and even that often feels like an eternity, so I think for any Korean, the idea of 600 years of it is just exceptionally cruel. The line is iconic enough to have been included in Yeon’s character profile.

I noticed this a while back, but ‘mountain god’ is being consistently translated as ‘mountain spirit.’ Technically, Yeon is (was?) a god, if a low ranking one in the grand scheme of things (the Korean word is ‘sanshin’ where ‘san’ = mountain and ‘shin’ = god). I understand the use of ‘spirit’ though, since he’s not a god as gods are typically thought of in western mythologies. 

Lol Yeon sticking his fingers in his ears (I would bet money this was also an ad lib)

Taluipa has a line that’s subbed, “Foxes never stay in debt.” More literally, it should be, “They say foxes repay eunhye no matter what.” You can find my explanation of eunhye here.

Wow, the subs really dropped the humour ball on Taluipa’s line here. First off, she says, ‘Right now’ in English. And while the sub says “Do you want your freedom back?” what she literally says is. “Do you want to be discharged?” (since Yeon had just likened his duties to military service).

On his way out, Yeon actually tells Taluipa, “Halmeom, you’re going to go to hell” (which is not the same as the underworld/afterlife as it said in the subs. Taluipa’s job is literally to ferry souls, so she goes to the afterlife all the time anyway). Also, when he says “I’ll pray for it everyday,” his phrasing is that of an elderly person pfft

As I mentioned, Yeon speaks formally to Hyeonuiong, who in return affectionately calls him Yeon-ie or Yeon-ah, which I find adorable.

Lol I’m not used to Ahn Gil Kang playing such a friendly character. Seeing him wheedle Taluipa with aegyo is hilarious. 

Code Red

Somewhat of a side note, I can’t help but wonder, is Shin Joo’s last name ‘Gu’ because he’s a gumiho, a la My Girlfriend is a Gumiho (2010)’s Gu Mi Ho-ssi?

I wish the subs had just left ‘Lee Yeon-nim’ as-is, instead of changing it to ‘Mr. Lee.' As a general rule, I’m in favor of preserving character forms of address when translating. 

Personally, I would have translated the name of Ji Ah’s TV program as: ‘In Search of Urban Legends’ rather than ‘Unveiling Urban Legends.’

I really like the dynamic between Ji Ah and writer Kim Sae Rom. “Should we fight?” / “Yeah, let’s fight~” How great is it that this drama doesn’t have a single catty, bitchy, stuck-up or otherwise obnoxious female character? 

For anyone keeping track, Shin Joo speaks to Yeon in jondaetmal while Yeon speaks to Shin Joo in banmal, underlining their master/retainer dynamic. 

Side note: There are actually multiple ‘types’ of jondaetmal: what I think of as ‘neutral polite’ (i.e. simply adding ‘yo’ to the end of all your sentences), the more formal polite (i.e. ending with ~[seu]mnida), that which elevates the subject, and that which lowers the speaker. The interplay of the four allows for varying degrees of politeness. The way Shin Joo speaks to Yeon is pretty much the highest degree. That doesn’t mean they aren’t close. Polite language can indicate distance but also level of regard irrespective of distance. This applies to Rang and Yoo Ri as well.

Again, Shin Joo calls Ji Ah ‘PD-nim’ but that became ‘that female director’ in the subs. PD-nim is a respectful (and non-gendered) form of address, and it’s perfectly suited to Shin Joo’s genial and deferential personality, so I wish the subs had just kept it. 

I read an episode recap where the recapper mentioned she wasn’t sure what Shin Joo’s deal was. At the time I was confused, but now I think I get it. In the subs, Shin Joo says, “When I’m a seasoned veteran? I’m now up to the point where I’m wondering if I’ve turned into an actual person.” What he actually says is:

 Shin Joo: No way~ How long have I been living in this (the human) world? Recently, I sometimes even have an existential crisis wondering, ‘Am I a person or a fox?’

[So he flat out says he’s a fox here, but that wasn’t reflected in the subs.] 

Fun fact: this was Hwang Hee’s first scene that he filmed with Lee Dong Wook, and the BGM as they exit is Shin Joo’s theme.

I love the way Lee Dong Wook played this scene where they pay their tab. That is all.

It’s only as Yeon and Shin Joo exit the restaurant that we see that the sign out front reads ‘The Snail Bride’ (Ureong Gakshi). This is another folktale in-joke, since the snail bride’s whole thing is that she cooks delicious meals for her human husband everyday. 

For the record, the Snail Bride (Bok Hye Ja) also uses honorific language towards Yeon and calls him ‘Lee Yeon-nim.’ I just assumed it was in deference to his ex-mountain god status, but it turns out she has a personal reason for holding him in high regard as well that we discover in the final episode.

As Yeon and Shin Joo walk away, Shin Joo’s line is subbed, “That show’s actually quite famous.” Since Korean doesn’t require a subject, the sentence is somewhat ambiguous, but I understood him to be referring to Ji Ah herself rather than the show since he says: “[Something is] really famous around the broadcast station.” 

Lee Rang

Lol Kim Beom. How are you 32 years old? 

I love how sharp and no-nonsense Ji Ah is. It’s so refreshing to not have to wait for the characters to catch up to what the audience already knows. 

Rang’s theme that plays as he transforms back into his suave self is so iconic. The music director (Hong Dae Sung) really is a genius. It’s funny when you think about how different Rang’s theme is from Yeon’s. 

Fun fact: Kim Beom shared in his Instagram LIVE that Rang ‘picking the wrong shoes’ was actually intentional. He was testing Ji Ah to see if she’d notice. 

Okay, Rang says here that he likes, “everything about her (Ji Ah) from head to toe,” (not in a romantic way but in a grudging respect/she’s fun to toy with kind of way) but what happened to that? Are we supposed to assume that he would have liked her if she hadn’t been the object of his brother’s affection? But he approached her knowing that’s who she was...? I don’t know. I do know I wish they’d had more scenes together. Their verbal sparring is great.

Side note: One Korean fan nickname for Rang and Yoo Ri that Kim Beom liked was ‘Hoket-dan,’ playing off the Korean for pokemon’s ‘Team Rocket’ (Roket-dan) and mashing it together with the ‘ho’ from ‘gumiho’ haha

Yeon’s obsession with mint chocolate ice cream is a hilarious counterpoint to his status as a cheon’ho and his ex-mountain god title. Point to the writer. In Japanese, this would probably be called ‘gap-moe’.

When Yeon tells the man behind the counter, “When I’m indebted to someone, I’m obligated to return the favor,” he’s once again talking about eunhye. As a fox, he’s supernaturally bound to repay good deeds done for him. As far as I’m aware, this is unique to the drama and not part of the traditional gumiho lore. 

Yeon eating ice cream like a happy kid XD Lol Lee Dong Wook, how are you 39?

Fun fact: Yeon’s line when he answers Rang’s call, “The number you have reached doesn’t exist, you punk” was an ad lib by Lee Dong Wook. The combination of the formal phrasing found in a typical voicemail recording followed by ‘you punk’ is particularly funny. It’s so witty I actually wouldn’t have known this was an ad lib if LDW hadn’t confessed as much himself. 

“Let’s meet.” / “I refuse.” /  “I’ll set your house on fire.” Hahaha What is with these brothers? Are they 1600+ and 600, or 16 and 6? Are the zeros silent??

Bus 1002

Ji Ah: “If possible, pick a different dream. I’ve been on the clock for 22 hours straight now.” I like Ji Ah so much. She’s unpretentious, intelligent, honest, driven, resourceful and witty. 

Lol As Ji Ah struggles with the old man, you can hear Yeon offscreen urging the driver to get moving. Only he calls him, ‘driver yangban.’ Yangban is originally a word for a nobleman, but much like the word ‘lady’ in English, what was once a term of respect is now...not. lol Also, I’m pretty sure this was another ad lib by Lee Dong Wook since it happens entirely in the background.

This scene with Ji Ah piggybacking the old man is so classic spooky-folktale. I love it. 

"You’re the only person I saw.” *Close up of the totem pole* They managed to make that whole sequence creepy despite nothing actually happening. Cool cool cool. 

So our old drunkard is revealed to be a Mokjangseung (mok = wood). Jangseung in general are totems that stand at crossroads and the entrances to villages. tvN published some backstory info explaining Ji Ah’s past with this particular Jangseung and why he elected to save her which I translated here.

Aaaand we’re back at Fox Ridge. I can’t believe I only just noticed this, but the episode title could refer equally to the accident in Ji Ah’s past and this bus accident in the present. 

Of course Rang staged the accident at the site of Ji Ah’s greatest trauma. Also, the fact that he knows that about her is telling. 

Appropriately, the BGM playing as Ji Ah arrives at the scene of the accident is ‘Fox Ridge’ (Yeou Gogae). Iconic.

Back over to Yeon. The first time I watched this I wondered where on earth he was heading in that downpour but it turns out he was in pursuit of Rang, who had given him the slip. 

Seeing Yeon limping injured through the rain ㅠㅠ  Also, while Yeon later tells Ji Ah he carries his umbrella everywhere because he hates his fur getting wet, he clearly isn’t bothered here, choosing to keep it sheathed on his back instead. I guess all bets are off when he’s in Gumiho Mode. 

Detective Baek and Ji Ah speak in banmal and he calls her ‘Nam Ji Ah,’ which I assume means they’ve been friends for a while. 

Wow, good for Ji Ah for having made note of the exact number of passengers in the midst of all that chaos. I certainly wouldn’t have. 

Hospital Encounter

So after Rang gave his brother the slip, Yeon realizes the next day that he’s at the hospital thanks to the news article Shin Joo reads out to him. Idk but I like that shot of the two of them heading out. There’s something vaguely Avengers about it. Which is maybe not surprising given that was another early influence for the show. 

I liked this conversation between Ji Ah and ‘Soo Young.’ We get to see Ji Ah’s own resolve and drive in the advice she offers: “Even so, I hope you’ll become strong. It’s way more fun to be a PD than a victim.” 

As with when he arrived at the wedding hall, the cinematography + BGM as Yeon approaches the hospital with his red umbrella is just A++ 

The BGM playing when Ji Ah spots Yeon approaching the hospital information desk isn’t on spotify or anywhere else that I’ve seen. It reminds me a bit of the ‘Tubular Bells’ theme from the Exorcist (a movie I actually haven’t even seen). If anyone knows what it is, I’d love to know. 

“My only talent is my face~” pffft  Also, decidedly untrue. 

When Ji Ah tells Yeon, “Yes, I’m scouting you, but not for that,” She literally says, “but not for that genre.”

And now the subs say ‘Fox Ridge.’ Okay, then. 

When Yeon says, “From the sound of it, it won’t be well made,” ‘well made’ is in English. Again, the peppering of English through Yeon’s speech makes him sound more modern.

When Yeon says, “Plus, I’m very devoted” his line is more literally, “Plus, contrary to how I look, I’m the devoted type.” Are you saying you look like a player? pfft

Yeon is such a big softie, so why does he keep threatening to kill people? Does he not realize they might take him seriously?

For this entire conversation (interrogation?), both Yeon and Ji Ah are switching back and forth between polite speech and banmal, almost on a sentence by sentence basis. On the whole, it gives the impression of a verbal sparring match.  

“It’s not as if this was a blind date. No thanks on a second one.” lol I do enjoy cheeky Yeon. 

Oh, I love that Ji Ah thinks on her feet. Using her leather bag to lift Yeon’s fingerprints was a smart move. Although, I’m not entirely convinced it would work that well in real life. 

The ‘grim reaper’s outfit’ exchange was a coordinated ad lib between Lee Dong Wook and Hwang Hee. I mean, of course it was lol Casting Lee Dong Wook is the gift that keeps on giving. 

Was that supposed to be Yoo Ri entering ‘Soo Young’s’ hospital room in those boots?

Minor detail, but ‘Soo Young’ calls Ji Ah ‘eonni’ meaning ‘older sister.’ It’s common convention in Korean to refer to people by familial ‘roles’ that fit their general age range even when you’re not actually related. I could digress, but I guess I just find it jarring when they have her addressing Ji Ah by name in the subs since Ji Ah is older and virtually a stranger. 

Okay, when ‘Soo Young’ hears that Ji Ah lives alone, the smile she gives is effectively creepy. 

The contrast between ‘Soo Young’s’ narration and the events of what actually happened on the bus that we see as viewers is great. Point to the director. 

Wow, Rang really just slaughtered a whole bus worth of innocent people without a thought. I feel like we all managed to forget that about him as the show progressed. Hats off to the writer and to Kim Beom’s compelling performance. I actually worried initially that Rang would remain a one-note character because that would have been such a waste of Kim Beom, who is a fantastic actor. I’m so glad that wasn’t the case. 

I love the subversion of viewer expectations when it turns out that Ji Ah knew all along that ‘Soo Young’ wasn’t who she claimed. This is something TotNT does repeatedly and well. We get both the dramatic tension of her being in danger and the satisfaction of her having had the upper hand all along. Point to the writer.

I’m pretty sure Ji Ah knocked that pitcher over with the express intent of using a shard from it as a weapon. Point for character consistency. Past or present, Ji Ah is apparently a ‘stab first, ask questions later’ kind of girl.

The Brothers

“Hey you! I clearly told you I didn’t want a second date?!” Haha Oh, Yeon. 

I saw comments from Korean fans about how Yeon burst into her house with his shoes on here, and now I can’t not think of them when I watch this scene: ‘Entering the house with your shoes on...in the Republic of Korea...Ha...’, ‘Even if you bust the whole house apart, you have to take your shoes off before entering...’ lol

I love Yeon’s line that’s subbed as, “As if, brother.” In Korean, it’s “Do you want to die, little brother?” The word he uses for ‘little brother’ is ‘아우야,’ which, while still used occasionally today, is an antiquated word Yeon might just as easily have called Rang 600 years ago. It’s also, in contrast to the first half of his sentence, quite an affectionate term of address. 

Rang’s line subbed as, “It’s a long story, but the family has a dirty past,” should more properly be: “It’s a long story, but you might say we come from a broken home.” Saying they have a dirty past makes it sound like they’re the mafia or something. Also, as a fun language note, the expression is literally ‘a bean-powder household.’ 

“Are you worried I’ll be sucked into the Underworld?” should be: “Are you worried I’ll go to hell?” Not sure where they got ‘sucked into.’ Rang just means when he dies. Also, I wish the subs would do a better job distinguishing between hell, the underworld, and the afterlife. They’re three different words. 

“It’s because you embarrass me, that’s why.” Lol at the way Yeon covers his eyes. That’s definitely another ad lib from Lee Dong Wook. 

When Rang calls time here, he actually calls Yeon ‘hyung.’ I suspect this wasn’t in the script but rather something that slipped out subconsciously on Kim Beom’s part, since the writer was clearly saving that word for when it would hurt us viewers the most. ㅠㅠ

Yeon’s line is subbed, “Old habits really do die hard,” but it should properly be: “You still haven’t fixed that habit?”

“If you don’t find it until the end of the next month, this woman will die.” This should actually be: “If you can’t find [that] by the next end of the month, your woman will die.” The subject is actually omitted so it’s unclear to what exactly Rang is referring, which is intentional. I also understand hearing ‘your woman’ (ni yeoja) as ‘this woman’ (i yeoja), but when they later flash back to this conversation they use a different take in which the line delivery is clearer and I’m confident it’s ‘your woman.’ This also explains Yeon’s confusion, since at this point he didn’t even know she’d been reborn. 

I Waited for You

For anyone wondering how Ji Ah got into Yeon’s apartment, apparently his house code is 0000 lol

From his expression as he discovers and then watches the video she secretly took of him, I feel like Yeon is impressed with Ji Ah in spite of himself and I’m 100% here for it. 

For the record, from this point forward, Yeon and Ji Ah use banmal with each other. Ji Ah has a tendency to speak to many of the supernaturals in banmal, which is honestly the opposite of what I would have opted for in her shoes. 

Yeon’s question of, “How did you come here?” could mean either, ‘What brings you here?’ or ‘How did you get [in] here?’ in Korean, and honestly they’re both valid haha

Minor note, but she actually says his Korean age is 36, which would be 35 by the typical reckoning...except he’s actually ~1636 so it’s a moot point, really. 

Ji Ah’s line, “Now I can proudly say that it’s fate,” translated more literally would be: “At this point, it really is fate and not coincidence.”

I feel like Ji Ah’s strategy of throwing herself off the balcony here is possibly the only thing she does in this entire show that strikes me as dumb. Like, I’m pretty sure if Yeon hadn’t been both benevolent and able to fly (and she had no guarantee that he was either), letting her just fall here would have been the easiest way for him to resolve the matter/the only thing he could have done. 

Yeon’s line, “Did you just test me?” is one of the rare instances in which he code switches to archaic speech. I guess using his gumiho powers put him in a Gumiho frame of mind. ;)

On the whole, I prefer the instrumental OST tracks to the lyrical ones, but ‘Blue Moon’ is just sooooo catchy. I wish they had continued using it more. 

And that concludes Episode 1. I’ve never posted anything like this before, but hopefully it was at least mildly interesting. Let me know what you think. 

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #1

If you enjoyed my Aone series as much as I enjoyed writing it: then you may enjoy this........

Writer’s block is a bitch rn but at least I have drafts to post! I have like 10 or so of these mini outtakes so if y’all want them all please let me know. Personally I’m in love with them cause you guys know how much I love our Mountain Man😭

This is are not a story per se: they are outtakes from my Aone series) that do not follow a strict timeline. But same story line.

What is an Outtake?

Basically, outtakes are parts of yours & Aone’s love story that weren’t included where Part 0 picked up because it happened either before or after the series.

Remember that Aone crushed on you for 2 years before you two got together detailed in this matchup, so these are glimpses of what kind of interesting things happened during his crushing period.... all the way up until today when you two are happily together. Some are PG and some will be straight up smut after y’all get together. I love writing these omg! If you need any help understanding shoot me a message, but it’s fairly straightforward. 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE SERIES’ TABLE OF CONTENTS!

Enjoy my babies:

————————————

Aone 2 Weeks Into Crushing On You:

“Aone...... stop staring at her.” Kenji scoffs at his friend as they sat down at lunch.

“I’m not.” Muttered mountain man as he dug into his food.

“Okay but you say that.......while still staring at her.” Kenji deadpans in annoyance. He had been watching his best friend stare at his crush on the other side of the cafeteria for the past 20 minutes. Y/N was with the rest of the cheer team—basically the smallest one—laughing vibrantly with her friends. Aone’s heart was tight as he watched you laugh, once again silently wishing you would notice him and perhaps laugh at something he said like that.

“The cheerleaders look really good in their new uniforms this school year, huh?” Kenji tried.

His big friend grunted in agreement but he really only thought Y/N looked phenomenal in uniform. Everyone else looked whatever.

“You should tell her how pretty you think she looks today.”

“Uh, I......can’t.” Aone said without changing his expression. Inside, though, he was a big blushy baby.

“Why not? It’s been two weeks since you first saw her and you obviously kinda like her so I think you should!”

Aone shook his head tightly. “Is that what you would do?” He finally looked at his friend: the only person in Aone’s life that he actually confided in. Kenji nodded.

“Oh, most def. See Y/N’s cheer captain, Katana? I have a little crush on her. Want to see how I tell her?”

“You’re attracted to her. You don’t have a crush on her. There’s a difference.”

“Tomatoe Tomahtoh! Watch.” Kenji calls Y/N’s friend’s name from across the caf at the cheerleaders table. Her face brightens when she sees it was Kenji calling her, and she skips over to their table.

Aone blended into the background as usual when bubbly girls came around. Someone with his silent demeanour didn’t really make waves to them.

Kenji spoke to her while remaining seated, ever the nonchalant semi-fuckboy. He had his hands in his pockets the entire time and Aone just knew that he’d never be able to pull that “I don’t care” vibe off with his crush. When you came around, every nerve in Aone’s body stood at attention and he just focused in on you. He couldn’t help it.

“You look really good in your uniform by the way. Fits like a glove.” Kenji flirted passively.

Y/N’s captain beamed like a newly chosen puppy at the pet mart. “Really?! You think so?! Thanks a lot, Futakuchi!!!”

Aone resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how much these ladies fell over his friends antics.

But Aone couldn’t help but wish you would look at him like Katana looked at Kenji. It had only been two weeks since he’s first laid eyes on you, but you brightened his days unknowingly and he just wanted to be the reason for your smile.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭

Aone heard a tiny squeal coming from his right where the cheerleaders were so he looked over to see you skipping towards them.

🚨 🚨 🚨 HOLY FUCK you were coming to his table! 🚨 🚨 🚨

Aone’s heart literally stopped. He looked to Futakuchi in alarm, though his face seemed unaffected to the average person.

Kenji smirked back at the white haired giant, as if to say “exactly according to plan.”

You approached the table like the bundle of energy you are and Takanobu practically let his static demeanour switch so he could sigh happily as the fruity scent you wore hit him.

You were so close: you were so perfect: and you were so beautiful. Aone’s eyes didn’t leave you for a second.

You stopped beside the table with a smile for your cheer captain.

“Katana! Coach wants us stretching on the field in 3 minutes, let’s go!” Not noticing anyone else, you tugged on your captain’s sleeve and then grabbed her wrist to bring her back to the team.

Katana waved at Kenji as she was being dragged away. “Oh, okay, so I’ll see you Saturday night Kenji?! You can pick me up at 8!”

Kenji nodded nonchalantly, his attention mainly back to his friend who was staring at his retreating crush.

“You could have at least said hi.” Kenji crumpled his napkin, annoyed. “The only reason I asked Katana out is because your crush doesn’t leave her alone for two seconds so I knew she’d come over here. That was your chance!”

Takanobu ate a spoonful of his yogurt, turning only to his brown-eyed future captain solely because you had exited the cafeteria. “Well, I happen to think that was a successful greeting between Y/N and I.” He deduced.

“What?! Are you kidding me?! How?!”

“She’s never been that close to me before. She smells good. Like apples. I like apples, very much.”

Kenji deadpanned. “You hate apples.”

“And now I like them. So, I deem that a success.”

Kenji sighed in defeat as the bell rang to signify the end of lunch. “Listen Aone-san I know this is your first crush and it’s super intense and all, but please—you better not go this slowly in your pursuit of her. A freaking snail is beating you in a race to her heart, man. Y/N is one of the prettiest girls in this school and definitely the cutest on the cheer team so a lot of guys want her.”

Aone frowned, visibly upset at the idea that other men wanted his crush. But he knew that given how perfect you are to him, it just wasn’t logical to believe he’d be the only one who desired you. “I’m well aware, Futakuchi—“

“Good. I’m just saying. You better not wait like 2 years or something to finally make a move. Please, promise me you won’t do that.”

————————————

Aone 1 Month Into Crushing On You When He’s Eager To See You:

“Team, please hurry. We shouldn’t be late to our own pep rally.” Commander-Takanobu of the boys Date Tech volleyball team commanded.

The team of giants was on their way to the gymnasium for the Date Tech High School’s annual pep rally that shone light on the schools most prominent athletic teams: Boys Soccer, Boys Golf, Girls Tennis and the team of yours truly (MOUNTAIN MAN! 🏔).

Kanji laughed as he spun a volleyball on his finger then scrambled to pick it up because it dropped. “It’s cooler to be fashionably late!” He exclaimed loudly in the halls before Futakuchi shot him a look of irritation when the ball he dropped again hit him on the side of the head.

“Heh. Sorry.. senpai. I’m just saying to Aone-kun that Y/N is more likely to notice him if we come into the pep rally looking all cool and late.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, the giant mountain man almost tripped up the rest of the team who was following close behind him. They all yelled in protest as they regained their footing.

Aone ignored everyone, turning around to peer at his early growth-spurted underclassman. “Is this true?” He asked sincerely. “Y/N will notice...uh....me....if we walk in late?”

Stepping in, Futakuchi put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, shooting Koganegawa another glare as he did so.

“Absolutely no guarantee, buddy.” Kenji assured Aone. “Y/N will be really busy cheering, right? Just like the first time you saw her and she didn’t notice you pointing at all. So, chances are slim now, too.”

Aone sighed, disappointed though you couldn’t tell by looking at his face if you weren’t Kenji Futakuchi.

“Oh, okay.”

🙁😩🥺🥺🥺🥺

“You really like her, Aone?” Asked Koganegawa, feeling bad for getting his nice teammate’s hopes up.

Aone nodded, feeling an ache in his heart as he thought about how much he cared for you, his perfect crush.

“But you guys are so...........different. I mean she’s like always overly nice and bouncing off the walls and talking in class and stuff, right? And you’re just............not?”

“I like Y/N just the way she is, and for everything that she is.”

“But.... and I mean NO disrespect, but.........does she even notice you? Uh... she just seems so consumed with cheer and all things rainbow. She’s always ignoring anyone who isn’t in her social level—“

Aone shakes his head as the ache in his heart becomes a bit more painful at his teammates words.

“Y/N does not notice me. Not at all, unfortunately. But I notice her. Everyday. And that in itself makes me happy.”

GUYS I CANT —— ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😭

The team nodded in pity, the lot of them collectively feeling really sorry for their best player and his unrequited love.

Kenji clapped his hands, startling everyone out of their misery filled states.

“Okay! The good news is that we have a pep rally to attend, right now, right?! Aone, be happy— you get to see Y/N in uniform again today!��

Aone’s eyes lit up, only recognizable by Futakuchi, as he nodded.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

Kenji Futakuchi stayed behind a few extra seconds as his teammates strolled on ahead. He had to take a moment to himself to think about how he would be there for Aone when his heart got shattered for the first time....by a girl (you) who is in the same school and class but hasn’t even noticed his existence yet.

Y/N didn’t return Takanobu’s strong feelings—that Kenji knew for sure—and so he just prayed that his big scary looking friend would never have to find that out for himself.

————————————

Aone 4 Months Into Crushing On You And Hears That You Have A Crush On Someone Else ☹️:

Sprinting outdoors, Kenji had to clasp a hand over his open gym bag to catch up to his friend who had already started walking home without him

Being that Aone has waited to walk home with Kenji every single day since they started first year together ... it was clear to Kenji that whenever his friend did this.... it was a sign that he was very upset

“Hey, big guy!” Kenji fell into step with his white haired friend, chancing a glance up at him.

Takanobu was famous for his perpetual scowl or angry frown which he had on his face even now, but Kenji knew better than to believe it. He could tell whenever his friend was deeply upset or hurt, just like Aone had been when they were 10 and the Takanobu’s divorced.....but right now, by Futakuchi’s analysis: Aone was feeling far worse than he did back then.

“Who told you, big guy?” Asked Kenji with an accompanied sigh.

“Koganegawa. It slipped.” Carrying on the silent topic-less conversation.

Kenji growled. “That big boned setter! When I see him next practice I’m gonna—“

“No. It wasn’t his fault. I was going to find out eventually. But why didn’t you tell me, Kenji? I would have much rather heard it from you.”

“I’m so sorry man. I was going to on our walk home today.”

Aone nodded, instantly being able to tell that that was Futakuchi’s true intention.

“Y/N’s crush......the guy on the baseball team.....He likes her...back?” Mountain man only stared straight ahead, trying not to let his hurt seep through his voice.

The brunette boy stuffed his hands in his pockets, dreading this conversation already.

“From what I heard of their conversation....y-yeah. Apparently they met at the last baseball game and it started raining so he gave her his team jacket to keep warm—“

“—I don’t need to hear the logistics.” Aone felt his heart tighten even more as his usual fantasy of you looking beautiful wearing his “#7” Date Tech Volleyball Jacket being bumped to the side by a visual of you wearing the baseball jacket of some guy who doesn’t deserve you.

“Hey, no one knows how serious they are, right? They’re just talking.”

“Does he make her happy? I mean... did Y/N look happy when he gave her his jacket?” Even though it was killing Aone to even ask, he was glad he did.

The brunette player, on the other hand, did not want to answer. For when he saw his best friend’s crush and her new crush together, she looked extremely happy. It formed an immediate knot in Kenji’s stomach because he knew how much seeing those two would hurt his best friend. But if he was being honest when that jacket was put over your shoulders your smile had been wider than Kenji would like to admit.

“Relatively..uh...happy, I guess.”

Aone’s frown deepened. He knew Kenji well enough to know that he was trying protect his heart on Aone’s behalf. He didn’t call him out on it though, he knew that your smile must have been wide. You probably did seem happy..

It hurt him intensely. Looking away, Aone stated something matter of fact:

“Well, he isn’t good enough for her.”

Futakuchi looked up at mountain man. “You know him?!”

“No. I don’t need to in order to know that she’s too good for any guy at this school, including me.”

Kenji laughed, patting his friend on the back. “You’re closest though,” he encouraged. “Maybe you should—“

Kenji was immediately silenced as both him and mountain man were greeted with an ugly sight. A depressing sight, actually.

Standing to the right of the front school doors was Y/N and the baseball boy. Y/N had her hair up in a high ponytail that looked absolutely gorgeous on her in Aone’s opinion. What wasn’t gorgeous, however, was how you were swatting the baseball player’s arm flirtatiously and speaking energetically with him. You held your school books close to your chest like Aone loved because you looked so cute and smart even though he knew you never opened those books.

He tried to look away—he did—but the team knew that Aone never looked away when he saw you at school and unfortunately that kind of old habit is sure to die hard.

“Just keep walking, buddy....” Kenji tried, swapping spots with Aone so that Kenji was at least partially blocking the heart-breaking view that is his best friend’s crush flirting with one of her many pursuers. Kenji kind of wanted to push the guy into the doors as they walked past them “accidentally” but his better judgement told him otherwise.

————————————

Aone 4 1/2 Months Into Crushing On You While You Have A Crush On Someone Else 💔:

Back at their signature lunch table, Aone sat with his best friend and some other members of the volleyball team.

The big-boned setter was exuberantly telling the team a story about him and his brother when Futakuchi noticed that his white haired friend was the only one at the table not listening at all

In Aone’s defence, he was paying attention during the first half of his underclassman’s story tale.....well, until you walked in to the cafeteria.

No one even blamed him because they knew about his intense crush on you—

You captured all of the big man’s attention whenever you walked into a room, it was just second nature now.

Aone loved seeing you smile and talk with your friends but he hated when you would talk to those who liked you as more than a friend—

That damn baseball player had approached you again just now and it really pissed Aone off.

You looked up and chatted with the baseball boy happily, just as you did with everyone (except for your enemy: the class snitch because fuck that guy)

Aone’s eyes fixated on the pair of you.

He was so sad because he liked you so much 💔

His feelings grew stronger everyday, and it hurt him to see you two in the hallway or in class flirting like it wasn’t destroying his heart

Aone knew that it wasn’t logical that he could choose to never make a move on you and still expect you to like him .... that much he admitted to himself

But he at the very least hoped you’d notice him.

Even though he was silently crushing: once you noticed him he’d take it from there, he knew he would

But until then...... you just went about your days looking beautiful as ever, chatting your business loudly in class so Aone could hear, ultimately making him fall for you even more

In the cafeteria that day you had not a clue that when you were just being friendly to one of your admirers (that you actually had 0 feelings for), in actuality— you were simultaneously crumbling the heart of a certain white haired giant who would one day become the most important person to you .......in a year and a half.

————————————

Outtake #2: CLICK HERE!

[loptyrs-moved]

Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day 

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON 

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think 

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him 

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice 

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her. 

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them. 

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult 

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke 

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities: 

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

[jeffrey-beaumont]

daniil/artemiy

i’m gonna do these together because gay rights and also I cant shut up about pathologic (ty again ale for buying me patho 2 btw ily)

Artemiy Burakh:

How I feel about this character: i love artemiy so much he’s one of my favorites  he’s so broken but he’s so motivated to help people he just deserves happiness

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: can’t really see him with anyone other than Daniil but I could see him having mixed feelings towards Rubin cause they knew each other so long

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: artemiy, sticky and murky! theyre such a cute little family i get emotional

My unpopular opinion about this character: his in-game design is bad because he’s whitewashed even though his story is about his racial identity as a biracial man?? in patho 1 he’s even described by others to have “steppe features” but he’s still white. wheres my biracial artemiy rights

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish his friends were less racist to him LOL

Favorite friendship for this character: Artemiy/Lara they’re supportive of each other and I’m 🥺

My crossover ship: no idea but he should meet hannibal because theyre both the ripper LOL

Daniil Dankovsky:

How I feel about this character: daniil’s one of my other favorites hes such a tragic dramatic bitch. goth manwhore rights.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: other than artemiy, peter because he wants to protect him and devotes himself to the polyhedron (peter’s creation), also I like eva/daniil but its tragic asf

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: bachelor and inquisitor rivalry.. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: he is not cute and people woobify him and his actions too much instead of seeing him as a complex morally ambiguous character. also too many white kinnies project onto him

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: wish there was more room for him to realize he’s a fake bitch

Favorite friendship for this character: rubin lab buddies. yulia daniil stem lesbian/bi solidarity

My crossover ship: daniil x kira 8 eboy doctor vibes

Artemiy/Daniil

When I started shipping them: probably after p1 haruspex route

My thoughts: gay rivalry. time period clothing. murder in the streets. giving someone a beating human heart. saying you are two halves of a single whole. drunkenly asking if you believe in angels. writing letters professing your feelings. offering to share the bed. addressing each other with nicknames (my dear, oynon, emshen)

What makes me happy about them: they are strangers who click together from the moment they meet. they’re too much alike and that attracts them to each other

What makes me sad about them: ultimately they’re mortal enemies no matter how conflicted their feelings are towards each other, or how similar they are. The tragedy is that even if their feelings are not romantic, they still see each other as friends even though their ideologies go against each other

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: not a fanfic specific thing but people  exaggerate their size difference and its weirdly horny and fetishistic

Things I look for in fanfic: biracial artemiy rights

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i cant really imagine it so they’d probably just die tbh LOL

My happily ever after for them: post story daniil joins artemiy in raising sticky and murky and all 4 of them live on the steppe in a yurt. they also probably have a residence in gorkhon where daniil has a new lab. its not as good as thanatica but for the first time he can be content instead of trying to reach his own impossible standards.

[aquacure]

3, 10, + 38??

rant. just do it

feel like i ranted a bit in the fashion answer but if you insist,, i can't believe how dirty 3rd Birthday did the rest of the parasite eve series?? i'll admit i found 3rd birthday before parasite eve and i enjoyed the gameplay a bit, but i had no idea that the lore was connected, and seeing what they did to these characters is criminal. there's also some character slip ups in parasite eve 2 but they're NOWHERE near as bad. they made maeda into a creep instead of the awkward but well meaning dude you hang out with! aya's an eternally sexy 20 something year old! WHERE'S DANIEL.

also the mechanics and lore of 3rd birthday are so DIfferent that you could easily just rebrand it as a new game and it'd be so much better!! since its in the parasite eve universe it just becomes dumb and too fantasy-based, even for parasite eve.... plus. i will never forgive that game for making a system where aya's clothes tear apart as she gets damaged like THIS WOMAN'S WEARIN A BIG WHITE T-SHIRT, AN OVERSIZED BLACK BOMBER JACKET, JEANS, AND SNEAKERS IN THE FIRST GAME. IM GOING KILL YOU

name a dog

just like, any dog? i know of a hot pink bitch named breakfast. and a puppy named rusty nail. but if i had a pubby maybe I'd call it pepper!

post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

OKAY MAYBE OVERTHOUGHT THIS A BIT BUT i was goin off of "ok so whats an outfit i know i wouldn't be able to make with pieces i could find locally/online within my budget/easily AND something i wouldn't just wear once" and i--

this isnt my TYPICAL outfit i go for but it looks comfy, the plaid + heritage checks + WHATEVER THAT MAIN LAYER IS WITH GREEN AND YELLOW (I CANNOT NAME IT) complement each other n make it interesting but they're close enough in color to not be Horrible to my eyes... plus i cant say no to some funky large sunglasses + slightly tall shoes + turtlenecks.... i vibe with this for sure

[msmimundo]

The character rating thing... Gromit, Slip, Shaun, Timmy annnnnd Lexi >:3

I KNEW some of you guys would make me choose between the lovable babies. This is gonna be hard (at least you dont make me choose between Shaun and Bitzer ‘cause i kid you not they both mean  the same to me ToT)

i’ll play fair on this and that means Slip is not my daughter for five minutes im sorry baby

Gromit: design-  cute almost white fur, bunny floppy brown ears, stumpy brown tail, eyes that show more emotion than most real life humans i met. Perfection.

personality- sweet soft caring boy, husband material Fluffles you lucky dog

character- interesting and loyal i love him

has he ever done something wrong?- no

would i like to friend him irl?- i would marry him

personal attachment?- i love seeing him on screen like i get excited 10/10

Slip:

design- cute baby dont let the others let you down we stan wrinkles and fucked up teeth

personality- a literal angel would love to see more of heR PLEASE @ AARDMAN PLASE IM BEGGING YOU BRING HER BACK

character- we didnt get to know much about her. She was really friendly and smart as she knew the streets and understoof and helped with Shaun’s scape plan even if he didnt asked so i would love if she came back at least for an episode?? 

has she ever done something wrong?- no

would i like to friend her irl?- yess

personal attachment?- daughter but not much bc background character sorry baby ;-;

6/10

Shaun:

design- i really love his design, poor thing looks so baby yet he hot stuff, his design was something that always called my attention idk 

personality- i think his personality is funny and interesting like people expect sheep to do nothing and he said fuck that and did his own thing, also loyal friend would protec flock and boyfriend at all costs, bf material Bitzer you lucky dog

character- he stands out a lot in the flock and even if i would love to see the others have development, him having the spotlight isnt something that bothers me tbh

has he ever done something wrong?- yes BUT he always tries to fix it, i dont think there was a moment i was annoyed by how jerk he was??

would i like to friend him irl?- yas be the Phineas to my Ferb

personal attachment?- been watching sts since i was smol so yeah :’) in this point Shaun wins Gromit

10/10

Timmy:

design-  smollll and round 10/10 would hug him

personality- honestly i cant really tell about his personality?? sometimes he is baby and sometimes he knows whats up idk

character- i think its an important character that gives interesting points of view and cute scenes to the show so yeah perfect character

has he ever done something wrong?- he is a kid so everything bad was mostly playing, nothing cruel

would i like to friend him irl?- of course!! baby

personal attachment?- ok some people gonna kill me but as much as i love him as a character i never got as attached to him as with other character?? idk theres people that really love him and as much as i do i never got to their levels

6/10

Lexi:

design- its a good design, it screams her personality a lot, but im still dissapointed afghan hound isnt a broom :(

personality- bitch

character- i think is an interesting dog enemy that could help give a lot of good episodes, not like the pigs or Pidsley were bad enemies but she has a different villain vibe

has he ever done something wrong?- yes thats like her entire point

would i like to friend him irl?- i feel like she would laugh at my face

personal attachment?- she’s new and still not much development so not much 

4/10

final opinion:

i did a drawing for this but tumblr wont let me post it :’(

1-Shaun! he was a dear childhood character to me so yeah

2-Gromit! pretty close to Shaun bc he has a beautiful personality

3- couldn’t decide between Slip and Timmy so they both win

4-Lexi. Sorry.

thanks for the ask it was fun :’)

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

[skeletonmaster69]

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” Adonis post-ASS “Compliment him/her!” “…you have eyes.” “nICE.” -Karma talking to Wynn about Bad Bitch Club 5. “If we get arrested, it’s your fault.”-KAREKT

i already forgot what this was for hold on wait fuck writing ohno OHNO ok uhhhh ive forgotten literally everything so dont ex 1. Adonis blinked. Everything was very suddenly very different. The battlefield filled with the blood of his last friends was gone, back to being just a normal, albeit abandoned, street. He was understandably confused. Where had all the bodies gone, where was Hades, and most importantly, what the hell just happened? Chris had disappeared and Derekt had just died and past that everything was disappearing, as if holes were being ripped in his memories.

Before he knew it Adonis turned around, aiming his gun at a bittersweet looking Chris, finger squeezing the trigger and jerking his hand upward so that he didn’t shoot his friend.

"hey man chill that's not very tubular of you" The wizard put his hands in the air as if he were surrendering, taking a step back from Adonis.

“Sorry, i thought you were...” His voice drifted off. What had he been fighting? Hades, right? Yeah, Hades. He’d been fighting Hades. Fuck, he was tired. The adrenaline must be wearing off. When was the last time he’d slept? Like, 2 days ago? And he wasn’t sleeping because... Fuck, he can’t remember.

Adonis woke up in his bed, and got ready as quick as he could. After all, he had a plane to Portland, Oregon to catch, and he didn’t want to be late to whatever thing he’d been ordered to go to.  i cant think of what to write for 2 so im just skipping over to number 3 3. Of course Karma’s date idea involved dumping rainbow paint all over the white house. Of-fucking-course. And of course it was done in a way that they’d dump orange paint all over the president himself so now they had to run from the secret service. So now Derekt was running as fast as possible, realizing halfway through that he’d just left his idiot meme boyfriend to run from the police himself, and they both knew that Karma was not fast enough to outrun those guys. So now Derekt had to sprint back, hope that Karma hadn’t been caught yet, grab that idiot, and yell at him about how dumb of an idea this was as they ran far enough that he could open a portal to hell without seeming suspicious.

Luckily, Derekt was fast. Faster than most demons and way faster than any human. He got back to where Karma was just in time to watch an armed soldier grab him and rip his boyfriend’s only actual supreme sweater. Derekt picked that moment to swoop in, punch the soldier in the face, pick up Karma, and start running away again. “I let you decide what we’re doing for date night 1(ONE) time, and this is what happens. I’m not even surprised. Just, ugh, if we get arrested its gonna be your fault.” Karma apologized after that, sounding not at all sorry for what had happened. Derekt sighed, too tired to be angry at his stupid boyfriend at this point.