#‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ nick writes !

[miidnighters]

13) for sender to wake up receiver by sensually kissing and biting at their neck. ( @ bella hehe )

It hadn't taken Bella long to decide she'd needed to clear off her bed from using it as storage - typically she laid on the couch, when it was just her, but entertaining someone else had necessitated somewhere for them to sleep.

That's where they were now - though not sleeping, Bella had allowed her mind to drift away, since she didn't have to worry about being on alert. That's why the first gentle press of his lips to her throat jolts her, a little, but Nick doesn't pull away (and that quiet assurance he'll get what he wants hitches her breath). He continues the trail, hot breath lingering on her skin to send shivers up her spine, and against her instincts, Bella tilts her head - allowing him better access to her throat. She's rewarded with a playful press of teeth, biting down briefly, before tongue darts out to soothe.

"That's a dangerous game, baby," the words are followed by a long, low hum, hands sliding over his shoulders and down his back. "Nosing at a vampire's throat like that."

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

IT’S YOU, HAPPY ALL THE TIME ─── jonathan breech ✧☾𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “I ask Jessica what drowning feels like and she says not everything feels like something else." — ‘Jessica gives me a chill pill’, Angie Sijun Lou.

pairing. jonathan breech x reader

summary. you’ve bared your heart to your bestfriend, jonathan, more times than you can count, whilst knowing practically nothing at all about him. what is friendship if it is not equal… what is love if it is not returned? can your relationship survive such one-sidedness?

warnings. swearing, TW mention & description of suicide/attempts & depression, very introspective/kind of a character study???, alcohol & drug use, pining, ANGST!!!!, crying, fluff, smut with feelings, p in v, unprotected sex, oral sex (f), SMUT UNDER THE CUT! 

word count. 10k (WTF??!?!!??)

a/n. the title is from “she won’t go away” by faye webster:) btw this is… rly angsty (and SO long omg im still in shock) so beware🫡 ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN WHILE!! SCHOOL IS KICKING MY BUTT & THIS FIC WAS AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER TO WRITE LMAO

i. 

There are very few words in your vocabulary you can use to accurately describe Jonathan Breech. 

The boy is an enigma, a matryoshka doll that never ends: he is witty and lighthearted and sarcastic, but you’ll always catch that edge, the air of malaise he carries around himself, the unspoken elephant in the room that screams WHO ARE YOU REALLY?

He had always been more of a figure, a landscape; something to witness, observe-- experience without letting it do the same to you. You don’t know if that’s something you want, either: there’s an imbalance in his hilarity, and he always takes things a step too far. Jonathan lights matches and lets them burn all the way down to his fingertips; he shaves and lets the blade leave stinging little nicks, rivulets of blood running down his neck; he chainsmokes cigarettes in his room and only opens the window when he feels his heart hammering in his chest, desperate for air. 

You meet him — or, first experience him in a similar fashion: he had been in the university library, standing on top of a creaky, old bookshelf, shouting something you couldn’t understand over the music blasting through your headphones. You could certainly see him though, gesturing animatedly, dressed eccentrically in his signature winter trapper hat and a velvet blazer. That thin, effeminate figure of his was making winding, marionette-ish steps along the wood, an action that had everyone readying themselves to catch his inevitable fall. 

Then, seemingly out of nowhere and catching you completely off guard, you caught his eye. He began stepping from one shaky shelf to the next, a complete miracle none of them toppled over, before stopping on one close enough for you to read his lips. 

“Hi,” he mouthed, shifting uneasily on his left foot before regaining a steady balance, “you’re in my class, right?”

You nodded, hesitantly— yes, truthfully, you’d seen him in your Introduction to Literary Studies course a couple of weeks ago, sporting the same outfit as he did now, but you thought nothing of him. He’d been generally well-behaved then, asking slightly odd but in-tune questions that more or less answered all your inquiries, so you didn’t think the guy would have a penchant for, well… book-shelf hopping. 

He grinned, about to say something else, before something — or someone, made him flinch. A professor, probably, considering the unintelligibly muffled, booming voice behind you. However, Jonathan made quick work of the situation, sneakily climbing down and escaping out the door. 

The next time you see him, he’s sidled up beside you in your shared class. “Mind if I sit here?” a familiar voice had asked, to which you murmured a non-committal knock y’self out, before realizing with wide eyes.  His presence had caught you off-guard, as he so often did, and you sensed a pattern blooming. 

Jonathan certainly made for an odd desk-partner; his personality warped the environment around you, and it was suddenly so much easier to tear your eyes away from the lecture and land on Jonathan’s own. It’s something you never thought you’d ever do, because you adore the material being taught. 

At the end of class, he asks you out for a drink: he’s just found the best Irish stout in the entire city, and what better way to make it known than to take anyone and everyone he knows there?

Rejection is written on your face clear as day— you have class tomorrow, an essay that needs to be finished, and honestly, pubs just aren’t really your scene. 

But in the end… you still bite. You can’t help it: he’s disarming and warm and looks like he should smell like a bonfire. Somehow, that just does it for your brain; it’s here you learn of the charm that is Jonathan Breech. 

That night goes everything and nothing like you expected: you expected not to be able to predict his actions, and that’s exactly what happens. When you meet Jonathan at the aforementioned pub, it’s not actually the one he’s meaning to take you to— it’s just the closest public place to the on-campus dorm, which is where he says he’s rooming. 

“‘ve got a neighbor m’pretty sure is trying to sleep with me,” he says absently, ushering you onto the back of his bike, which had been leaning against a NO PARKING sign. “He’s always toget’er wit’ our dorm advisor, so I should l reject him before I get kicked out, if y’get what I mean.”

Now, you honestly should’ve expected this from a guy who jumped from six-foot book shelves, but Jonathan’s biking is all swift turns and jilted stops, mere milliseconds from repeatedly running red lights. You want to ask if he just learned how to ride the thing yesterday, but can’t, not with how utterly reckless and shameless he is about it, his terrible steering making you instinctively wrap your arms around his chest. 

You clutch him tightly, making him hum in approval, and you feel your ears burn flusteredly. You would’ve pulled away, but then he cut from the right lane to the left in one swift move, barely missing several cars, and you practically shrieked instead. “Oh my god!”

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly. You can’t see his face, having shut your eyes in fear, but after hearing the blatant cheekiness in his tone, you can imagine clear as day how gleefully it contorts. You want to slap him somewhere, anywhere, but that’d defeat the point of being mad at his recklessness, so you squeeze him tighter instead, and he chokes on his breath. “Jesus-- m’sorry, really!”

When the two of you make it to the pub — alive and uninjured! — annoyingly all the way across town, your first few steps off his bike are stuttered, dizzy: “We are-- not going by bike next time,” you gasp, leaning against a random brick wall. 

“Next time, eh?” He grins, and this time you really do slap him— just on the arm, bless your self-control and niceties not to beat this oddly comfortable-to-be-around near-stranger to death. 

The pub, with its forgettable name and dingy stools, has a minimal, lackluster crowd. A kitschy neon sign flickers and dies as you walk in, making you raise a brow, but Jonathan merely drags you by the arm to a cozy corner table, then disappearing deeper within the venue before returning moments later with two pints of black beer in tow.

“Go on, then,” he gestures, setting the tall glass on the table, sitting down in the chair in front of you and taking a hearty sip of his own drink.

You let out a little hesitant sigh at his words, before relenting and taking in a long gulp of the liquid. “…Huh,” you remark, impressed. Jonathan smiled knowingly behind his glass, letting out a smug little ah, you see? 

“Worth the long ride?” he inquired innocently, as if that was the only thing wrong with the night.

“Worth the ride, but not worth almost dying for,” you rolled your eyes goodheartedly, knocking back the rest of the bitter drink and making him whistle. 

The rest of the night goes like this: Jonathan orders two more rounds of the quality Irish stout before the two’ve you are stumbling out of the pub, exploring all the nightlife there is to offer, like the crowd surrounding an out-door live comedy group performing down the street that has you and Jonathan giggling for hours after, or the underground speakeasy you accidentally find yourselves shoved into, a nasally guitarist singing on a smoky stage, several more drinks finding themselves in your system despite how nauseous you already feel.

“You-- d’you fancy him?” Jonathan slurs behind you, steadying himself by pressing his hands to your waist.

“F-fancy who?” you blink blearily, leaning into his warm touch.

“Who else m’I talkin’ about, girl? The singer!”

You shake your head no numbly, practically collapsing into his arms now, your head lulling on his chest. You’re so close you can smell the distinct scent of his skin, that unique musk everyone has, and it’s strangely familiar, like those smells that evoke old, nostalgic memories. It’s like how sunscreen summons the smell of the sun after a childhood beach day, or how vanilla extract takes you back to the smell of your mother’s baked goods on a specific winter evening.

“Reckoned you wouldn’t,” he assumes, hands coming away from your waist to wrap his arms around your shoulders, swaying to the music slightly in the crowded club, “looks like a -- right bleedin’ dope… wit’ that mop of hair.”

You giggle, alcohol riddled beyond belief, unable to formulate a response with the conflicting blurry thoughts in your head: it’s telling you Jonathan Breech isn’t the crowd you want, that you need to go home and work, that you let loose too easily— but it also tells you that you can see yourself becoming friends with him very, very quickly. 

It’s there, in that club, Jonathan Breech moves into your life and fills a gaping hole you didn’t know existed, like a hole in your stockings you only notice when you get home. You have friends, certainly, more than you can count on both hands, but they never get as close as Jonathan does. After that night, an unknown force pulls the two of you together, making you run into him everywhere, and a tight friendship blooms like a lilypad in a raging storm; beauty within the chaos. In the multitude of close friendships you’ve harbored, he is the first to see so many sides of you. The last thing that did was your mother; it had only ever been your mother. 

He is an endearing, amazing friend, both the intent listener and the charismatic speaker all at once; he knows his friends like the back of his hand, can recount their life like he can count the number of moles on his face-- but you, and everyone else, know absolutely nothing about him. 

At least, close to nothing-- you know he likes ice cream and hanging out and going to the pub; you know he likes biking and doing drugs and women; you know he hates the sea and his brother and his father, but you don’t know him. All you’ve ever seen him do is smile or laugh or shout in mock anger; there is a carefully glued mask on his face he takes meticulous caution in preserving-- he is terrified to let go, despite the blasé persona he lets on.

Or maybe the mysterious matter of your bestfriend is tripping you up for no reason; maybe you’re psychoanalyzing something that doesn’t need to be psychoanalyzed, reading between lines that don’t exist. But if you were asked to answer honestly, there’s just something about Jonathan you don’t get. There is a split seam in the tapestry of his life, missing pieces in the story he pretends to tell with utmost accuracy. There are things that he never talks about, that he recoils when asked like you’ve poked a tender wound. 

“So, what were you doing before… all this?” You ask him once, laying on his messy bed in his dorm-room and scanning the water-damage constellations dotted along his popcorn ceiling. By all this you mean going to university, being the resident party boy, aimlessly pursuing a degree you’re 99% sure he picked blindfolded (culinary science) and standing here, with you, snorting a line of something on his creaky wooden desk. 

Jonathan freezes, still hunched over. “What d’you-- what d’you mean?” he says, tone breezy but, uncharacteristically tense… jilted and preoccupied. You could’ve brushed it off as him being seriously focussed on his drugs, but the way he shifts, how his shoulders curl in like he wants to disappear, tells you otherwise. 

“I mean, before going to school here… y’know, what were you like as a dumb teenager?”

You two’re twenty, barely not-teenagers, but it still makes a world of a difference: you’re living away from home, doing what you want, experiencing (a juvenile, naive version of) freedom and adulthood.

“I dunno… kind of a tool, that's f’sure,” he chuckled, rubbing his nose roughly. He’s being funny on purpose, a jester’s distraction: he doesn’t want you to realize his answers’ not really one at all. 

You shifted on his bed, now leaning against his headboard. His answer strikes you as odd and uncharacteristic despite his attempts to evade suspicion: usually, Jonathan pounces at the chance to yap on and on. “What, the great Jonathan Breech doesn’t have any wild stories to tell? No bones broken, girls dumped, houses trashed?” 

He snorted at that, like some inside joke you weren’t privy to was brought up in your words, and he descended back down on a carefully partitioned line of white. “I broke my baby finger once,” he relented vaguely when he finished, dusting off the table and licking the remains off his hand. “I cried and I cried and I cried.”

“Did it hurt that much?” you grinned, mind trailing off to imagine a baby-faced Jonathan Breech, a juvenile highschool boy, doing something silly to break that finger. Maybe he accidentally flung off his bike, broke it because of a dare, or maybe it happened just by slipping and falling. 

“It - uh… didn’t hurt enough,” Jonathan smiled, tight-lipped and paltry. All at once the air in the room had changed, like someone attached a vacuum to the window and sucked everything out. 

Your grin fell, and you watched him carefully: perhaps, had you not been as close to him as you were, he’d have let something show. A twitch in the smile, a break in the facade. But you were, and his face stayed the same, and your thoughts ran circles around themselves. This was… something else, something belonging to the part of his life he didn’t talk about. 

The atmosphere had grown tense, taut, a rubber band twisted ‘round and round, threatening to burst, so you leave the matter of his injury alone; of his life alone. You go back to staring at his ceiling, he goes back to his drugs; Jonathan collapses within himself, and you don’t notice how badly he suffocates… how suffering in silence is also accompanied by the overwhelming desire to be found.

ii.

Sometimes, despite his self-imposed distance, Jonathan lets someone look inside his head. 

You are both the sometimes and the someone; you don’t know why it’s always you, but you chalk it up to the fact that beneath his unpredictable demeanor, the murky and unreadable feelings he holds for others, is this uncharacteristic constant: he holds a softness for you. It’s what lets you know there’s something haunted lurking beneath his happy-go-lucky surface. 

You don’t know where this softness comes from, either. But you know you see it, in lingering touches, tender duchenne smiles unlike the devilish tilt his lips usually hold, how he clasps his hand around yours after a night at the pub and walks you home because he knows you get paranoid. You see it in how he comes over to your apartment when you don’t answer anyone's calls during exam season, how he remembers what your mother’s name is and what your childhood pet was and what your favorite flowers are. How his lips brush past your cheek when he pulls away from hugs, his hands shuddering around your shoulders, like he’s afraid he’ll crush you.

You only wish you could do the same. You want to sit by his side and mend his heart, lend an ear to his most mundane fears, you want to take his hand into your own and kiss it softly, return all that he has done for you, take the same as you have given to him: what is friendship if it is not equal, what is love if it is not returned? It is something broken, unable; split halves of one heart, an imbalance in the scale, Bonnie without her Clyde, a fish out of water. 

Jonathan pours his heart into your own, filling holes you know you don’t have, and you think he may be overcompensating for something else, seeing things in you that really belong to him. It is maddening, and you just want to beg and plead he lets you in. 

But you settle for the gentle pokes, the prodding, and try to decipher the vague answers he gives you. Most days, you can’t really make sense of it. 

“Sorry,” you apologize, about to leave the outing you planned with Jonathan — studying, or, trying to study, at an intimate coffeebar the two of you frequented — “my dad’s gotten drunk with his lads and my mum needs help dragging him home.”

 “Hey, hey, don’t worry. I get it: my dad used to do that all the time,” he waves your words off casually, but you don’t miss how jilted he says used to and the pain in his tone at all the time.

“Oh, surely she was fit to go to the madhouse?” you laughed once, responding to Jonathan’s complaints about an eccentric classmate in his agricultural studies. He laughs back, he always does, but this one is hollow, forced; barely stopping a grimace from coloring his tone. 

You notice these things like it’s a shadow following someone in the sun. He is lying, hiding; about something you don’t know but it is happening. It is happening, and you are so very curious: you pick up on the littlest tendrils of him, fed wholly on any information you can squeeze out. He is a mystery you want to delve within completely; answer that question of WHO ARE YOU REALLY? and leave no room for error. 

You’d give yourself to him the very same if he merely asked; you’d whisper childhood fears and tell the origin stories of faded scars on your knees and why you check under your bed before sleeping. You’d detail your entire life from sunset birth to starry night end if he even made a passing comment about knowing; you would trust your love, your heart, your entire life in his beautiful, shaky hands. This is the relationship you have built around yourselves, and it is beginning to feel terribly one-sided. 

Alas, your curiosity overwhelms him, and you take it too far, just once. Only once. 

“Where’d this come from?” you murmur, brushing your fingers over a scar above his eyebrow. It’s something you see only now, his hair mussed and wild from the various blankets and pillows on your dinky couch. 

He’s crashing at your apartment tonight, an invited event, because you often miss him like you miss home; the boy is sneaky— he slinks away like a street cat and only comes back for food. It’s only fair he lets you wrangle him back like this, making him stay by your side at least once a week.  

Your words make him freeze, like he often does; it reminds you of hikers, who freeze when they see mountain lions— he thinks if he stops and stares and pretends to disappear you’ll look the other way, drop the question, forget him completely.

But you don’t. You don’t know what’s affecting him -- not that he wants you to -- so you just stare back into his cornflower blue eyes. You stop and stare and see right through him; you hold the question like a knife to his neck, and commit him to memory. 

“The scar?” Jonathan pales, shuddering despite it having long since been healed over. The aftershocks of an earthquake. 

You simply nod, fingers pulling away. You’re still closer than ever though, the two of you being the only things in your cramped concrete apartment, the chosen movie on your telly still running and long forgotten. 

Your attention remains on him, brandished into something dangerous, like you’ll carve the answer out of him if you have to— but the moment passes. He doesn’t say anything and you accept that as the answer. Gone is your razor-sharp focus, and there is nothing more to the matter. 

But Jonathan doesn’t register this, no, he’s thinking, gears in his head turning and creaking. His tongue grazes against the backs of his teeth, jaw chattering like it was as cold as it was when… as cold as it was back then, and he doesn’t want to tell anyone— but it’s you. You’re not just anyone. 

You’re the one he holds a certain softness for. The one he equally bares his heart to and holds the most secrets from. The one he’s most terrified to know. The only one he wants to know. 

So, he decides to tell a partial truth— something digestible. People adore that which can easily slide down the gullet: news headlines don’t detail the goriness of a murder, they give the “insider” scoop of the scared neighbor. To be able to digest information is what makes the world go round, and he does not think you could digest the full truth-- he does not think he wants you to. 

He feels ill at the thought of anything between you changing— oh, how ruined he’d feel if you began treating him like fucking glass.

This abhorrent social pressure is what makes Jonathan grit this sentence through his teeth: “I got into a car accident,” he gulps dry, “when I was nineteen. Was drunk… went fer a spin. I skidded off a -- um, an empty highway. The tall sorts; high up, y’know. Fell.”

His voice makes you look back up at him, and your eyes are beautiful and tense— it breaks his heart. He knows you’re probably thinking it was in-character, how expected that is of Jonathan Breech, how you’ll easily take this partial truth, how you’ll never know the full one until it comes in a letter under your door and he’s long gone. 

“Tell me,” you ask him, lips falling into a near-frown instead of laughing or grinning wider. It’s hushed, whispered like a secret, “What did it feel like? Falling, I mean.”

Jonathan licks his lips, bores his shaking gaze into your own, and tells you not everything feels like something else. That the word connotes all you need to know. Falling meant he was falling; his arms raised and the air took him and that was it. 

It makes your brows twist and your lips press into a thin line: his nonchalance is worrying, no more his signature characteristic— there is something wrong about this apathy toward injury, toward the potential death. 

“Is that how you broke your finger?” You murmur, and it startles him. How you pieced the two things together, how you weaved a web from what little you knew about him; how futile his attempts to hide could be.

“What?” he responds, hoarse. There is a lurking shadow in his bones telling him he’ll taint you, telling him to be ashamed, telling him how badly you will never be his. It is such a damning reality, that no matter how much he may yearn for you, he is too incomplete to meet your needs; he is too hurt not to hurt you too. 

“The car accident. Is that how you broke your pinkie?” you repeat, and you gripped his hand resting at your side, bringing it up to present the finger to him like he forgot where his pinkie was. 

Jonathan’s gaze darts from you to the finger, and he feels his insides quiver; so badly does he want to spill his entire soul to you. But that internal reminder -- hurt people hurt people hurt people -- makes him settle for nodding, parted lips locking closed. 

Nothing special happens that night, no shocking revelation or bombarded confession; Jonathan nods, keeps his lips sealed, and gets up from the couch, figure dreary and fatigued. He murmurs an incomplete excuse, something half-baked and blatantly unconvincing that he has to leave, and you let him go. You think you’re imagining the shudder in his shoulders, the shake in his voice as he says goodbye, and you let him go. 

It’s there, like that club so long ago, you discover another thing about Jonathan Breech: push too far and he shuts down, closes shop and puts up his guard forever. It’s the mere fact of how attentive you are to his words; you remember how he broke his finger, and he realizes he cannot hide from you any longer. 

You’re reaching a point in your friendship -- your relationship, no matter platonic or romantic for all lines have been crossed; nobody is so raw to one another with love not involved -- where you’ll bare your hearts on your sleeves, share your every thought and dream and fear. But Jonathan won’t be able to reciprocate, and the very thought of rejecting you, betraying you, makes his stomach twist in knots. That crestfallen face of yours would haunt him for all time, your every melancholy feature burning into his memory like the scars left by cigarettes on skin.

So he leaves, hurt people hurt people hurt people echoes in his ears all the way home; he turns into an alleyway shortcut and prays death swoops down and takes him right there. He leaves his consciousness curled lovingly in your arms; his shell walks home and prays you’re none the wiser. But you’ve already reached that point in your relationship; you already know. 

When people die, or friendships do, sometimes they end with just a goodbye, a mild, casual goodbye because you think there’ll be dozens, hundreds more-- but there won’t be. Suddenly, alone in that cramped apartment, the buzzing from the tv filling your ears, your couch still warm from someone long gone, you know.

You know you startled him, that he’s left your apartment and he’ll never come back. Your heart cools, and she whispers that you took it too far, that you crossed a line you were never made aware of, that when you see him in class tomorrow he might not sit next to you, he might not talk to you, that you might lose him forever because he is too stubborn to open up and you are too stubborn to let him go. 

Well, you were too stubborn to let him go. 

It’s three weeks before you speak to Jonathan again. Three long, dragging weeks, moments in time where he avoided your gaze, evaded your presence, slipped past you before you got too close. You certainly try, of course— you seek him out every chance you get, trying to get an I’m sorry, please talk to me out before he runs off, but it’s virtually impossible.

Once, after class, you’d caught him in the middle of a flurry of exiting students by the velvet blazer, your hands curled around the lapel. “Jonathan,” you panted, trying to drag him off to the side to escape the bustling activity around you, “please, we need to talk--“

But then Jonathan had faced you, eyes widened and spooked like he’d seen a ghost, a never-before-seen-by-you fear covering his gracefully cut features, before he tugged off the black blazer and escaped into the crowd. He had seen you, widened his eyes, left. Such a simple action tore your heart in two; it had confirmed your suspicions— you’d gone too far, he was never coming back, and you were all alone. There you stood, fingers wrapped around one of his favorite articles of clothing starkly without its beloved owner, completely alone. 

In three measly weeks, he has put up a biting winter of distance between you two. 

Your feelings are unable to comprehend themselves— they fight and sob and run circles around your mind, they make you doubt, crumble, devour yourself from the inside out; they make you ask yourself what you can do to salvage this, what can you do to fix this? What is there to make of him, of his behavior; what do you do with yourself and this guilt?

If you could imagine time was a construct, you were certain you could convince yourself this stretch of time was nothing… propel yourself into a present where Jonathan does not afflict your mind, take over your every thought— does not ruin you like so. If only you could do that, you could close your eyes and reopen them when you’ve let go. But you were always too stubborn to let him go, weren’t you?

It’s three weeks to the day before you speak to Jonathan again, and it happens through the crack of his dorm door, your arm wedged through it because you know he is not cruel; he will let you in without a doubt.  

“Please,” you plead to Jonathan, “just— I just want to talk. Please?”

He stares at you straight, expression cold and reserved, before he breaks and pulls away; bites his lip, lets you in his room, doesn’t look you in the eye. Looking around, you sense something in his dorm has changed; it had gained a bereft quality, like it was attuned to Jonathan’s state of mind and felt depressed beyond your comprehension. There was a cold air to the place, an utmost frigid demeanor to a room incredibly warm just weeks prior. In your absence, the dorm had been neglected, gutted, abandoned. 

“I’m sorry,” are the first words that tumble out of your mouth. “I- I know you don’t like… talking about -- about your life before here, and I’m sorry. But please, Jonathan, just talk to me. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

He sits down on the edge of his weak bedframe, pulling his knees up and pressing his face into them. “You don’t need to-- don’t… don’t apologize. You don’t need t’make it better, either. All’s grand.” he promises, words muffled and shaky. It’s a weeping kind of tone; you could just as easily imagine him sobbing with that voice. 

Your brows knit. Your emotions are wavering, treading brutally between disbelief, despair and rancor. “Then -- then why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you avoid me? Why did you - why did we spend these last three weeks playing cat and mouse, if you weren’t mad at me? Is this your sick idea of a joke?”

“No! I-- jesus christ,” Jonathan looked up from his hands before immediately pressing two fingers between his eyes, “I wasn’t … avoiding you.”

“I haven’t seen you in weeks!” you point out painfully, exasperated. “You know, you’ve been avoiding me for longer than this. You— you push me away any chance you get. You’re afraid. I don’t know of what, but you’re- so fucking secretive, and it’s tearing me apart.”

“I’m not - afraid of anything. I’m just a private person— you know this. Would you, if I ‘pushed you away?!’” 

At his denying deflection, something within you snaps: “Why won’t you - fucking let me in? I’ve — I’ve bared my soul to you; you know me from the inside out. I trust you with my life— why, why can’t you do the same?”

“I didn’t ask you to do that! And I didn’t — I didn’t mean t’get so close to you, okay?!” He bursts, and you flinch. His hands shakily come up to his face once more; he wipes roughly but it’s no use— you’ve already seen his delicate tears threatening to spill, and it burns more holes in your heart than you thought his suffering would.

“What are you talking about?” you pry, now without any cautious reservations about his demeanor.

“I didn’t mean to get so fucking attached, because - ‘cause I…” Jonathan’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, “fuck.”

“What?” you repeat, but it’s softer, concerned; how quickly his body language shifted from irritated to terrified has you scrambling to support him. “Talk to me,” you ask, taking nervous steps closer, like you were approaching a wounded animal.

He sucks in a sharp breath, and holds it, like he did cigarette smoke, before exhaling heavily. “Okay- okay. When I was - nineteen, I drove a car… I drove off a cliff and tried t’kill myself. I was-- admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a year, and when I got out I moved here f’school. I- I… promised m’self I wouldn’t let anyone get too close.”

The confession hangs in the air, a lonely little thing; it’s a bleeding piece of his own heart he’s plucked and placed in your palms. He shudders, and you want to nurture it like nothing else. This is a culmination of a year’s worth of evasion coming to a close; you’re seeing him completely, rawly, for the first time.

“But- but why? You don’t have to— Jonathan, you don’t need to do that just because you - you… y’know.”

“I’m- I know that,” he starts brashly, defensively. “It’s b’cause I am very, very aware of my - of m’own self destructiveness…” His words taper off into something of grief; the Sisyphean struggle of wanting to live, while that depressive boulder pushes him back, colors him completely. “I just… I didn’t want to - t’hurt anyone in case I -- in case next time I succeeded.”

“Next time?” you repeat, and your voice broke in a way you wish was less vulnerable, less blatantly miserable.

“This is why I didn’t want to—“ Jonathan sighs, deflates, “I’m not telling you this because I want you to - t’fucking save me, okay? I’m telling you this because you wanted to know, and I couldn’t hide from you anymore. Because you asked.”

“You didn’t need t’hide it in the first place!” you exclaimed, coming closer to him. “You’ve never had to hide a fucking ‘ting from me.”

“You wouldn’t have understood!” He said back, volume nearing a shout. “You’ll treat me differently now, you see, you’ll look at me fuckin’ different—“

It made your heart sink-- how sure his words were, how certain he was of your rejection. How little trust did he have in you? 

(You remember he wanted to sink, too-- lose himself in the baby blue sea; let it swallow him whole and never be seen again.)

“You - you really think I’ll treat y’differently because of this? You know my every crevice, my every thought-- I have never once doubted that you’ll accept me.”

“I-I… why should I - expect any of this to stay the same?”

Suddenly, you took his face into your hands. “Because I-- I fucking love you, okay? And it’s not just friendly, or romantic, even if it’s both— I’m… I love you like nothing I’ve ever loved before. I accept and adore your every skill and flaw and antic; you wormed your way into my heart and I want to worm my way into yours.”

“That doesn’t mean—“ Jonathan tried to interject, a noise all utter disbelief. You cut him off, though, continuing your sudden confession; you hadn’t been privy to these own romantic feelings of yours till moments prior, but everything being said just felt right. 

“Jonathan, I don’t care if you drove a car off a cliff or cyanide-poisoned our professor or blew something up, because I love you. You, with all your problems and great, big, beautiful life. All I want is for you to want that life; I want you to want me in it. I feel it in my bones that I’m meant to love you; you are meant to be my home, you are everything I am supposed to know. It won’t fix you or fix anything at all but I just need you to know-- I need you to know the why to my every action. It’s because I love you.”

He looked up at you, wide-eyed, head resting in your gentle hold. “I - don’t know what to say… are you - for real?”

“As real as can be,” you smiled back at him, tracing circles along his smooth skin; you could’ve drank in that attentive stare of his for hours upon hours. “I love you, and nothing and no-one, not even you, can change that.” An aching grip had clenched around your heart at his words, that blatant disbelief: are you for real? God, had you ever been-- had you ever fucking been. 

Jonathan’s mouth opened to speak, but instead, he let out an agonizing sort of cry; an exclamation of utter surprise at the loving acceptance. Then, he hesitantly leaned into your touch, as if he’d never hugged before, wrapping his arms around your waist to snatch you as close to him as possible. He held you tighter and tighter as the seconds went by, like this was all a mocking dream his yearning mind had made up; that if he closed his eyes now he’d wake up desolate, alone, without you for eternity. His worst nightmare. 

“…God, I’m so - fucking stupid,” he grumbled, sounding angry, but you could feel vulnerable, hot tears soaking into the fabric of your shirt. “To assume you, of all people, would act that way… you of all people.” He said that tenderly; you of all people certainly meant miles more things you weren’t explicitly aware of, but you still felt the sentiment. “I’m not -- poetic or anything like that… but I love you, too.”

You chuckled a beautiful, wet laugh. “You don’t hafta’ say anything sweet or special. You’re everything to me.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, before wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling you onto the mattress with him. He flipped you beneath him, and held himself up by the forearms laying on either side of your head. “Fuck, I love you. I love you.” Jonathan repeated the words several more times, strange and foreign but right at home being said to you. Like his mouth was made to only ever say I love you to you. 

Suddenly, you pressed your lips to his, shutting him up momentarily. You could still feel the vibrations of I love you rumbling in his throat as you kissed him. Your tongues danced along one another, an all consuming waltz; you wanted to know everything about him, down to the taste of his tongue, memorize how sweet his mouth felt on yours. Oh, how you longed for this moment; how could you ever think about love again, and yearn for it, without thinking of Jonathan?

You reckoned that’s what this had been the whole time; your love started as a little flame, something under the guise of friendship, but the two of you had fanned it, nurtured it-- all of a sudden the miniature warmth of platonic love burst into a raging, adoring fire. You’d fed this flame with tenderness, and it responded in kind; you could never again look at Jonathan without a certain intimate reverie. Perhaps that’d been why Jonathan found it so hard to cut off this relationship as he had dozens others: something primal and unconscious within him had begged him not to let you go— some higher being knew his home was only ever in your arms. 

Jonathan deepened the kiss hungrily, pressing his weight onto you and pushing you into the mattress. Your head was spinning from the lack of air, and one of your hands had to sneak beneath his hat and tug at his hair to get him to stop. “Hey,” you panted, looking worriedly into his eyes, “what’s up?”

“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, hanging his head lowly for a moment before meeting your gaze once more, batting his long lashes. “Jus’ missed you. Thas’ all.”

“Missed y’too,” you murmured, pulling him back down to kiss you again. Your hands left the crown of his head and trailed down his backside, tracing over the curves and bumps of his frumpy yellow v-neck sweater. 

That touch of yours seemed to spur him on even more, and his kisses began to travel; along your jaw, to your pulse, down the long ravine of your neck, tongue darting out to lick the hollow of your collarbone, making you squeal. He chuckled against your skin, a genuine amusement rather than the mocking one you two so frequently practiced, and it all went downhill from there. His hands skillfully tugged off your tank top, knee between your clenched thighs, more teasing kisses being planted along your now bare -- save for your bra -- chest.

You didn’t mean to come over, profess your love and suddenly jump into a steamy, yearning makeout session (which, you were pretty sure was venturing off into sex…) but you supposed that apologizing— arguing, whatever —meant your relationship went back on track to wherever it was heading… which may have been set to end with an ardor romance anyway. This love of yours would’ve bursted at the seams of friendship; it could not be confined by such mere things as labels. 

“Fuck,” you groaned, arching into his teasing kisses along the peaks of your breasts, his hands ghosting around your clothed chest but never touching. “Please, Jon.”

You could feel his cheeky grin on your skin, “Tell me what you want, love.”

“…Take this off,” you demanded gently, referring to Jonathan’s sweater.

“Your wish is my command.” he snickered, obliging and removing the yellow knit-- as well as his white undershirt and pajama bottoms. He was left in a pair of boxer-shorts and that silly, silly winter-trapper hat, his fingers sneaking up to your supple thighs and tickling the edges of your jean-shorts; a silent plea. 

“Eager,” you mumbled, noticing his over-compliance in completely stripping, smiling and guiding his hands to the waistband of your shorts to tug the tight article off. 

When he did so, you shivered, both at the feeling of being only in your underwear, as well as Jonathan’s sharp, attentive gaze. “You’re so beautiful,” he panted, eyes exploring your every sweet feature. 

He was enamored with your bare body, not in a sexual way despite the blatantly sexual situation, but rather in a worshiping, religiously devoted way. It may’ve been blasphemous to think so, but Jonathan’s sudden chaste kisses along the curve of waist only seemed to prove you right; his mouth on you was gentle, like he’d held you before, except now without any guilt or hesitation. It was a holy way of loving you; something all-consuming, becoming the epicenter of a life, becoming the purpose, motivation, and belief all at once. 

That familiar broiling in your gut occurred as he made his way closer to the pulsing, lace-covered place between your legs; your hands were gripping the sheets tightly in pure anticipation, his hot breath on your sensitive skin. “Don’t be such a tease,” you pouted, legs fumbling for purchase along his body, trying to pull him closer to you.

“We’ve got all the time in the world,” he hummed, but his fingers still curled into the band of your baby-blue panties and dragged them down in one desperate go, “but I do wanna taste you….”

Jonathan’s veiny hands pried your quivering thighs apart, murmuring an offhand already stole y’panties, don’t get all shy on me now when you whimpered flusteredly, before he descended on your dripping lips, licking a flat-tongued stripe up to your clit. 

You gasped at the sudden action, but it quickly morphed into a choked moan when he pressed himself further and parted your lips, nose to your pelvic bone; he made quick work of you, artfully curling his long tongue into your hole and slurping your slick. 

“So sweet,” he praised, the vibrations of his voice making your thighs clench around his head. He hummed in amusement at your reaction, lapping you up quicker; he kitten-licked and slobbered, feeding on your sticky cunt, tongue darting in every direction, feeling your walls and prying deeper into your hot hole, which ached for the cock straining against the mattress now. The bottom half of Jonathan’s face was now positively soaked, glistening with his own drool and your needy wetness, all of it mixing dirtily and sliding down the length of his neck. 

“Jon!” you mewled, hands tearing off his trapper hat and flinging it elsewhere before curling your hands into his mousy brown hair and pushing his face deeper into your pussy, desperate to come. You were riding his face now — or, attempting to, more accurately bucking up into him — adoring his unceasing ministrations. He was basically fucking you with his tongue, overstimulating your clit with teasing licks then pulling away, feeling along the ridges of your walls.

“Pick m’hat up later, love,” he tutted, pulling away slightly to see where you’d haphazardly thrown it, and your desperate whine neared a sob. He breathed in sharply, taking in how quickly he’d undone you: in a matter of minutes, your expression had grown wanton, eyes blown out, drooling, hair askew, bra riding up your tits and revealing your sweet, puffy nipples. 

Jonathan quickly forgot about the state of his beloved hat, and went back down on you, mouth devouring in full force once again. You rolled your hips forward, and when he pulled his tongue out of your wet hole to suckle softly on your fleshy nub, your eyes rolled back into your head and your legs shook around his face, toes curling tightly. A choked moan left you alongside the sudden climax, sounding a hundred percent pornographic and all for him. 

You panted, silent and unmoving for a moment, and Jonathan began moving to get up and let you take a breather before continuing, absolutely terrified to push you too far or do anything you didn’t want to do— he was the spontaneous one, and you were the responsible one, but that didn’t mean he ever wanted to force anything upon you. His simultaneous decisions were made mostly in part with your interests in mind; he made the decisions you were too nervous and over-thinking to choose quicker. 

However, you took a long breath, then trailed your hand over the painfully noticeable bulge within his soft boxers. “Wan’… make you feel good,” you murmured, flattening your hand against his erection. 

Jonathan inhaled sharply, pitifully affected by the minor touch but holding back with an incredible amount of self restraint. “I can wait,” he offered sweetly, one of his hands coming up to your flattened hand’s forearm to rub the skin. 

You shook your head foggily, cupping him through the fabric, slowly adding friction by sliding your hand up and down. 

“S-shit,” he bit his lip, “you want this now, baby?”

You nodded vehemently with a whimper, and to make more of a point, you reached behind and unclasped your bra, tossing it elsewhere on his dirty dorm floor, before beginning to slip off his underwear. 

The hand on your arm stopped you, though, in favor of doing it himself and pressing his weight further onto you, your chests flush with one another. You were only able to take in thin breaths, making your head spin, but it also amplified the  arousal blooming in your cunt when Jonathan slotted himself at your soaking entrance, collecting his saliva and your slick on his tip. 

Before he pushed in, however, his head dipped into the hollow of your neck, plush lips brushing past the shell of your ear. “Is this okay?” he murmured, pressing a wet kiss to your temple. 

“Please,” you whined, hands pushing flat on his back to bring him closer to you.

With that, Jonathan slowly buried his length within your cunt, making your breath hitch. “I love you,” he groaned, entering you inch by inch, relishing how your warmth swallowed him whole. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

Your hole was stuffed beyond belief, but Jonathan was gentle with you, caressing your waist with the rough pads of his fingers and massaging you, trying to ease his entrance into something painless. Obviously, with that length and thickness it couldn’t be painless at all, but his attempts helped your mind drift off elsewhere and take some of the attention off the stinging stretch. 

After a long moment of ragged breathing, Jonathan cooing words of praise into your neck as he kissed you without moving, you dug your fingers into the skin of his back: “More,” you choked out, the fullness in your cunt now feeling delicious rather than cringeworthy. 

He smirked against your skin, “Looks like you’re t’eager one now.”

“Oh, get on with it,” you rasped and he let out a low chuckle, sliding out of your hole before thrusting back in. That first movement already made your hips jerk up into him, back arching. It was like all the warmth in your body had collected in your cunt, leaving you freezing from the tips of your toes to the top of your head, but still with a needy, burning fire in your insides. 

Jonathan’s pace was affectionate and rhythmic: you could feel the tenderness in his each and every gentle roll of the hips. It made you feel like the sun, how attentive he was, but he was also so fucking slow. If anything, that had your walls clenching onto him harder than if he hammered into you— that slow build-up of friction was dizzying. You squirmed, cunt clenching and contracting around his smooth thrusts— you wanted to take him within you completely, cause more friction for you were going stir-crazy with this lazy speed. 

“F-fuck! Faster, please,” you cried out, unable to take his sensual movements any longer. Your legs were twitching with his patient movements, and you could’ve sworn you saw a cheeky grin on his lips. The bastard— even in sex was he teasing you, wanting to torture you until you gave in to the pleasure and begged him to ruin you.  

Sure, this was your first time together, and was going extremely pleasantly and sweetly, but you were actually pretty fond of the idea of letting him pound into you like there was no tomorrow… 

At the lewd thought, your walls pulsed around his cock, making him buck up unintentionally, hitting that sweet spot within you. He grunted at the feeling of your tightened cunt, while you cried out his name, pleasure running like a current through your body. Your face was on fire, reminiscent of a raging fever, and your insides were coiling— god, how did his cock just feel so perfect within you?

“Oh,” he grinned in a pant, “found y’spot, didn’t I?”

Jonathan didn’t give you a chance to speak before he pulled out so far his tip was the only thing in your hole, before slamming back in and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Props to him-- he hit your g-spot with utmost accuracy, and you let out a long, stuttered mewl, scratching at his freckled back, legs twitching. Your wail was almost catatonic, loud and cock-drunk, dripping unabashed, filthy pleasure. 

“Makin’ such sweet noises f’me,” he praised huskily, hair sticking to the sweat on his forehead, “fuck, ‘ve gotta hear that again.”

He must’ve noticed your neediness earlier, when he was slow and languid, for the new speed he set was double- no, triple that: his hips were snapping against yours, balls smacking filthily against your lips, left hand pinning your hips down and letting him sink into you faster. Shocks of pleasure tore through you at the sudden increase in speed- he’d inured you so well to the torturously slow pace from earlier that this new frenzied one felt like getting hit by a bullet train. You were overstimulated and needing more of him all at once, practically vibrating with need under his touch. 

“I’ve- hnngh- wanted this…” you gasped between moans, “f-for so long…”

“Wanted m’cock?” Jonathan questioned in a hiss, feeling with his every inch how your walls absolutely soaked him. His tone was, obviously, sarcastic, but it still made you feel incredibly lewd. 

You shook your head numbly, “Wanted you… I love you, Jon!”

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he purred, fucking you faster and making you writhe beneath him, “love you s’much.”

Jonathan targeted the spongy, swollen spot deep within your cunt, suddenly filled with a renewed vigor and motivation to make you come as quickly as possible, and he pounded into that one, specific spot, watching how you twitched and squirmed, heavy moans exiting you. He was relentless, hands reaching to hook under your knees and spread you wider. 

At the new angle, his cock penetrated you even deeper, fuller, which you thought wasn’t possible with how goddamn full you already felt, but when his thick cockhead brushed up against your cervix you thought you were going to burst. Then, one of his hands came up to your tits to knead the flesh, and you squeaked when he tweaked your soft nipples. He was pawing at your sweet tits, fondling you in a needy, boyish way, like yours were the first pair of boobs he’d ever felt. 

“M’close!” you gasped, mind going fuzzy with pure ecstacy. Your skin prickled with goosebumps, cold  sweat running down your spine, a terribly stark in contrast feeling to the warmth buzzing under your skin. 

“C-can’t last much longer either,” he choked, still pumping in and out of your sticky hole and savoring the feeling of your tight warmness on his long length. He looked absolutely exquisite above you, and you lost yourself in the ethereal picture. Maybe you were in love, or maybe he really was just an empyrean beauty; you took in the sight of his focussed iceberg blue eyes, the cute flush spreading along his pale cheeks and bare chest, how he bit his pink lips to muffle his needy grunts and moans. 

Then, you mewled and convulsed around him, your walls spasming and contracting as you came undone, reaching the precipice of your pleasure. That made him fall off the edge— you had tensed all over- all over, and Jonathan couldn’t help how his hips stuttered, knees buckled, cock twitched; he only gave one last, powerful thrust into you before spilling himself inside of you. He painted your soft walls white, and you felt that familiar heat spreading within you; you welcomed it completely, and wanted such warmth to be there forever. 

You milked him for every last drop, cunt like a vice grip, and Jonathan gave you another wet kiss, this time on your lips, and your hands wrapped around his neck, allowing you to kiss him back. Your brows knitted at the sour taste of yourself on his lips, but it just made everything feel so real— Jonathan and you had “made love”. It was a phrase you always wrinkled your nose at, feeling uncomfortable and juvenile at the intimacy it entailed, but now you understood it completely. 

“I love you,” you repeated for what felt like the hundredth time, unable to say anything else that conveyed what you felt for him. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure anything could accurately do so— you felt infinitely about him, your love touching all edges of your mind, heart and soul, filling you completely. You supposed you felt about Jonathan how the sun felt about the moon— without one, there could not be the other. 

“I love you-- too,” he responded, pausing in the middle at the aftershocks of your orgasm, which had caused you to tighten around his softening, sensitive cock for a second. 

You peered deep into his baby-blue eyes, watching the utter love that coloured them; it was like submerging yourself in a great blue ocean, except you didn’t want to come out, because you knew you wouldn’t drown in those eyes. No, you knew Jonathan would always be there to pull you out. 

Speaking of pulling out… Jonathan slipped himself out of you softly, careful not to agitate that first stretch any more than necessary, before collapsing back into your arms. The two of you tangled yourselves in a messy flurry of limbs on his cushy mattress, sweaty and breathy, something that should’ve been terribly uncomfortable but just wasn’t— you swore you could fall asleep anywhere, no matter your own state or the circumstance, as long as you were with him. 

Blearily, both your eyes began to droop, until you gave into the familiar presence of deep, dark sleep. It was a dreamless sleep for you, but you had an ever present comfort at his weight on yours, something you could feel even in unconsciousness. 

Hours later, in a brisk, shuddering early-morning that you felt all over due to Jonathan’s unruly habit of opening his window at the peak of the day’s hottest weather and forgetting to close it before cold nightfall fell, you awoke to Jonathan watching you carefully, so close you could feel his warm exhales of breath on your cheek. 

There was no goodmorning or anything like that, just pure, uninhibited being, reveling in the space you two occupied together. Like you two were the only things left in the world. 

When Jonathan noticed you woke up, he shifted, presumably to extract himself from your grip. You stopped him, though, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and bringing him closer to you.

“What did it feel like?” you asked instead, for the last time. You brushed your fingers over his scar, and, knowing exactly what you were asking, this time Jonathan doesn’t flinch away. This time, he leans into your touch: it doesn’t burn, not anymore, and he wants your tenderness to swallow him whole. 

You didn’t mean what it actually felt like, of course. You meant, what were you thinking? What have you done, and what will you do to yourself? You meant, I love you.

“It felt like,” falling; not everything feels like something else; I raised my arms and the air took me and that was it-- “it felt like… giving in. Letting my desperation find its purpose. It felt like I’d reached a point of peace… gained clarity after a long stretching, wounded moment came to an end. It felt like becoming something only meant to be talked about in past tense.”

You don’t say anything to that; you know he doesn’t want you to. There’s no need for you to hush or plead or make better, you just need to listen, and love him. He knows you accept him for everything he is, all his flaws and his strengths; he knows your love is all accepting- it veers on saintly. 

At your silence, he melts into your arms and you can finally relax; there is an admission in the action, a release, an acknowledgement -- is suffering in silence not also accompanied by the overwhelming desire to be found? -- you have found him, at last, and you will never, ever let go.

You take it too far, just once. Only once. And you let him go just once, only once; never again. 

[harrytaylorluke]

Livestream: Matt Sturniolo.

- fluff

- kissing

Summary - you come over after work, exhausted, needing comfort.

Limerance - Yves Tumor (Song I listened to whilst writing it)

AN - wrote this at 3am, don’t really remember writing it. Just done a very brief check for spelling errors, it’s pretty short.

💞 ily take care of yourselves 💞

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

Pushing the front door closed, you kick your shoes off, running a hand through your hair with a sigh. You take a deep breath, something you’d done in the car multiple times to try and decompress after work whilst you were still on your own. The house had a cool warmth spreading throughout it, windows open as the sun set gently after a long, hot LA summer day.

You’d appreciated the pink and oranges swirling in the clouds as you pulled up to your boyfriends house. Honestly, these were your favourite parts of the day. After working a job where the majority of the workforce relied on you not fucking anything up, you liked the deep breaths you were allowed once you left.

You knew Matt had meetings in the morning and was working on the marketing for his newest project in the afternoon, but those rarely ran past six ish. It was now coming up to half eight, so you knew exactly what he’d be doing.

With an overly large bag of wing stop in one hand and your keys, bag and coat in the other, you walked through the boys apartment. You could hear the most noise coming from one room, Matts. A faint shout from Chris about a “fucking idiot” who was “shooting at anything” told you all you needed.

Pushing the door open with your elbow to see Nick sat on Matt’s bed and Chris stood over Matts shoulder. The man you’d been desperate to be in the safe arms of again ever since pulling yourself out of them at 6am that morning, sat at his desk. A brown ‘fresh love’ hoodie and grey sweatpants adorned his body, his hair messy from pulling at it for the last hour or so.

“Y/n” Nick shouted excitedly as you came into view, dragging the last letter of your name out slightly.

“Hey y/n” came from Chris, earning a brief look up before getting his head back into the (seemingly very intense) game of fortnite Matt was playing.

“Hey guys” you puffed out, another sigh, insinuating you’d had a rough day. Placing the bag of wing stop near Matt’s bed to which both Chris and Nick started unpacking. Graciously shouting a few thank you’s and joking ‘i love you’s.

“Hey baby” Matt said as you approached him, after throwing your belongings down on the bed. You checked if the stream is paused before collapsing onto his lap. His arms wrap gently around your waist, your arms tucked around his neck.

He cradles you, humming as you embrace each other.

“I missed you” you breath out, needier than you’d realised. His soft scent of cologne and body wash radiating from where your head was, pushed into the crook of his neck.

“You have no idea” he says, squeezing you closer to him as you tuck your legs up slightly. Both taking deep breaths, happy to be around each other. The both of you had been working a lot lately, rarely getting to spend time like this. The faint sound of Nick and Chris laughing, arguing and munching is heard with the games lobby music playing.

I feels like it’s just you two for a minute, you’ve felt the most relaxed and safest you’ve felt all day. Even if your underwear was riding up, you’re tights had been itching you and your bra was digging into your ribs.

“How’s the game going” you say quietly into his neck as he rubs his hand up and down your back.

“It’s okay, we’ve been playing for hours now so I’m about done” he says with a slight smile on his face. “Thank you for bringing food home, you didn’t have to we could have ordered it” he says gently again. He could tell you were exhausted, the way you melted into him the second you saw him and your first words being ‘i miss you’.

“That’s okay” you say, sleepily, wanting to drift off right there. “If you’re sure you’re done, could we maybe put a movie on”.

“Of course sweetheart” is all he said, “I’ll just finish this off and we’ll pick one out”. You hummed in agreement. Matt didn’t want you to move, but you usually didn’t just lie on him whilst he streamed. Sometimes in a video or two you’d fallen asleep on him when you’d all gone on road trips, but rarely.

“Baby, im gonna start the stream again”

“Could I stay here” you whisper, moving your hands from around his neck to curl into yourself, another going around his waist.

“That’s okay with me if it’s okay with you” he says, grabbing a blanket to put over you, as you’re skirt had rolled up slightly, before starting the game again.

Chris and Nick come back over, handing you some food to eat every now and again. Whilst Matt somehow multi tasks eating, gaming and making sure you’re okay every five minutes.

You lie against his chest, munching what’s left in your mouth, eyes closed, before you start to drift off slightly.

ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ

Matts love language was undoubtedly physical touch, if you were there he was touching you. Not in a sexual way, in a loving way. Holding hands, playing with your fingers, rubbing your arm, drawing shapes on your skin. Anything.

When the low hum of his computer died down and the room was quiet, Nick and Chris back in their own rooms for the night, and matts hand stayed rubbing against your thigh, you felt… content.

You peal your eyes open slowly, your skirt now around your waist with the blanket pulled up to your chest, still on Matts lap.

“Hi honey, should we get in bed” he asks, sweetly, as you stretch your arms out.

A ‘mhm’ leaves your mouth, getting up slowly and walking to get some clothes. You decide on one of his t-shirts and an old pair of pyjama shorts. Strolling to the bathroom and removing your makeup. Matt joined you to brush his teeth, standing behind you with one hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

The low hum of the song playing on your phones has you swaying gently, Matt jokingly singing a few words through his toothpaste.

You stand there together for a few minutes, your back pressed against his chest. It’s domestic, peaceful and lovely.

Getting changed together, speaking a few words, both getting tired. You both tidy up the mess made from the night before slipping into the cold bed.

His warm bedroom lamp illuminates his side of the room, as you both lay facing one another. The clock reads 11pm, realising they must have played a few more games after you fell asleep.

“I missed you today, more than you know” he says, inches away from your face, one arm resting under his head, the other drawing circles on your arm.

“I missed you too” you say back.

“I missed everything about you. It’s different when you’re here. It’s fun but.. it’s calm, it’s like my head goes quiet” he says, still drawing soft doodles on your bicep.

“I know what you mean” you say, with a slight, tired smile. You knew what he meant, you tried not to think about him during the day, never really texting him or you’d end up wanting to leave work.

“You’re like home” you whisper, quietly. He smiles.

You move forward kissing his cheek and nuzzling yourself into his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your head.

You sit like this for awhile, breathing each other in. There were times when you were animals, desperate and horny for each other. There were times when your stomach hurt from laughing so hard. There were times you could murder one another out of anger.

And then, there were times like this, the peace, the quiet. The unmatchable love that bounced between the two of you, it went quiet, it absorbed itself into each one of you.

The summer rain had started pouring whilst you slept in his arms, battering and storming outside, it was a safe haven.

Matt lifts your chin gently, a smile of appreciation on his face as your lips gently come together. A sweet, loving kiss that both of you had so desperately needed without knowing it. Your last one being so brief, with a whisper of “goodbye, I love you” after, closing the door on the half asleep boy.

Your hands moved up over his neck, your leg resting over his hip and his under your leg. What you liked to call the ‘koala’. His arms wrap around your waist, chests pressed against each other as you kiss.

You’re so impossibly close, so connected, like you’re souls are slow dancing.

Your heads turn as your lips melt together, pushing yourself up to get any closer. His hands are soft against you, your tongues are gentle in one another mouths. Slow, loving kisses that take their time. Your lips appreciating each other.

The rain fades out, eventually you rest yourselves in the other arms, peaceful, happy and inevitably, taken over by sleep.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

[se4son-of-the-witch]

countertop - nick sturniolo

in which you bend nick over the counter

warning: smut!

nick x male reader

based off of this request !

┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊

The smell of food filled the air, creating a sweet aroma in the house. Nick was currently stirring the pasta, making sure it was cooked all the way. You stood at the counter, dicing the tomatoes for the sauce. A silence filled the room as the two of you continued to chef up dinner.

Although Nick was too embarrassed to admit it, he had been in the mood all day. He occasionally stole desperate glances at you, hoping you would get the hint and do something, but he was unlucky all day.

Before he could stop himself, he made his way over to you, wrapping his arms around your body. "It's getting hard to focus on the pasta when all I want is for you to fuck me," he whispered into your ear. His breath tickled your skin, making you softly gasp. You set the knife down, turning so you were face to face with Nick.

"Yeah?" you teased. He mumbled a response under his breath, making you grab onto his waist. You pulled him closer, connecting your lips in a hungry kiss. His hands found their way into your hair, tugging at the strands, making you groan into his mouth. He took this opportunity to slip his tongue in, exploring your mouth.

When the kiss started to heat up, you pulled away, a string of saliva falling from your lips. The two of you were out of breath, lips slightly swollen. You slid one of the hands that was on his waist up to his back, making him bend over the counter. Your other hand still rested on his waist, harshly gripping onto his skin. You leaned over his body so you could whisper in his ear. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" He nodded at you, a small whimper coming from his lips, making you smirk.

You put your focus back on his lower half, slapping his asscheek, before kneading the skin in your hand. Slowly, you pulled his pants down, your fingers grazing his skin. Chills went down his spine as you barely touched him, making you smirk to yourself. "So needy, huh?"

"Mhm," he mumbled. He turned his head to look at you, eyes full of desperation.

"I'll take care of you, baby. Don't worry."

Your fingers found the zipper on your pants, pulling it down. Soon enough, you were completely bare on your lower half. You spit into your hand, using it as a lubricant. You stroked yourself a few times, your head slightly falling from the pleasure.

You slowly pushed yourself into Nick, gripping tightly onto his hips. A low groan left his mouth as you bottomed out, causing you to bite your bottom lip.

The grip on his hips got tighter as you began to thrust into him. “F-fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“Am I making you feel good, baby?” He moaned a response, making you smirk to yourself.

Your hands eventually grabbed onto his, pulling them back, making his back arch even more. This new angle had the two of you letting out loud moans, getting you closer to your orgasm.

“Fuck, Nick,” you breathed out. You let go of his hands, making him fall back onto the counter. You gripped back onto his hips as you moved faster, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the room.

“I’m gonna cum,” Nick whined out.

You snaked your hand around his throat, pulling him up towards your chest. Your lips found his neck, gently biting at the skin. This double pleasure was enough to send Nick over the edge. With a few more deep thrusts, white ropes of cum were shooting from his cock, shaky moans leaving his mouth. You weren’t far behind him, pulling out to cum on his back.

“Fuck,” Nick sighed as he turned around. His chest was rapidly rising and falling as he attempted to catch his breath. He took your jaw in his hand, connecting your lips in a kiss.

It was safe to say that the pasta was now burnt, allowing you to go straight to desert.

┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊

a/n: sorry it took me so long to write this…i am a procrastinator 😪😪

[matty-bear]

Could you write a fluffy fic where nick is insecure because of the hate online and his boyfriend (the reader) comforts him?

I love your writing btw<33

Insecure [N.S]

type: request !

pairing: nick sturniolo x male!reader

warnings: SFW, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive ?? (these parts are towards the end) negative self image talk, mentions of hate, fat-shaming, and slurs (last two are not specified they’re just mentioned !)

summary: after coming over to visit nick, you immediately notice his off behavior. your boyfriend reassures you that nothing is wrong and that he’s fine but when he comes back crying after filming a car video with his brothers, the truth finally comes out 

notes: hope this fulfills your request ! i enjoyed writing this even tho it was quite upsetting :3 best believe that if i see someone being hateful towards nick i wont hesitate to clap back 🔥 some people need to grow up and stop hiding behind screens when they post hateful shit . they’re just pussies 😒

WC: 4675

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

One thing you must know about Nick is that he is very expressive and is not scared of being himself. You could easily be able to tell how he was doing emotionally just by his facial expressions and body language. (This also meant that he was horrible at hiding things from you. This includes feelings and surprises and such) 

Which is why when you suddenly caught onto his off and quiet demeanor the day you came over to his place to hang out, you immediately knew something was wrong. 

 ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It’s currently Thursday afternoon and you were gathering your belongings to head over to Nick’s. You knew that he and his brothers would be filming later today so you decided to head over to theirs as soon as possible. 

You also heavily missed your boyfriend even though you saw him two days ago. 

After slipping your headphones around your neck and making sure you have your phone in your possession, you grab your car keys and head outside. The sun immediately began to shine in your face the moment you stepped foot outside and you couldn’t help but squint as a result. After making sure your front door is locked, you walk to your car and get in the driver's seat. A soft huff escapes your lips as you start the car and adjust the AC with your right hand. When everything's to your liking, you finally start your short venture to the Sturniolo household. 

It only took 15 minutes until you were pulling up in the all too familiar driveway holding a black minivan. You can’t help the smile growing on your face as you hurriedly turn the car off and exit your vehicle. As you walk up to the front door, you take your phone out of your pocket to text Nick that you’re here. However, before you get the chance to open y’all’s chats, the door opens. 

You quickly lift your head, your eyes slightly wide, before you relax at the sight of Matt greeting you with a small smile. “Hey.” The brunette greets, stepping aside to let you in. 

“How’d you know I was here?” You ask as you step inside the house, the faint scent of fast food immediately filling your senses. 

“Heard your car pull up.” You hum faintly and nod your head at the male before the two of you start walking up the steps. “I smell food. What did y'all order?” 

“Chris was craving a ‘Mcdonalds' breakfast’ so I ordered some.” You can’t help but chuckle at the sight of Matt doing air quotations. “We have some leftovers so if you're hungry you can help yourself to whatever’s left.” 

“How much did you guys order if there’s leftovers?” An airy chuckle escapes your lips as you follow Matt to the kitchen, a single eyebrow raising as you glance at the two McDonald’s bags on the table. 

“Not much, just our regular. Nick hasn’t eaten yet so that’s probably why we have leftovers.” 

You quickly whip your head around to send Matt a worried expression as he excuses himself to go to the fridge. “Nick hasn’t eaten yet?” You ask as you open one of the bags. 

“Nope,” Matt replies with a soft huff. “He’s been in his room since this morning.” 

You hum softly as you close the bag you’re looking into. “This is Nick’s right?” When Matt looks over in your direction, you gesture to the bag in front of you. 

“Yup, that’s his.” 

“Alright, ima head up to his room and see if he’s hungry.” 

“Word. We’re going to film earlier than usual today so make sure he’s ready by five thirty.” 

“Will do.” Matt sends you a small smile before he grabs a root beer from the fridge and walks towards his bedroom. As the brunette enters his room, you make your way upstairs to go to Nick’s. The moment you arrive at your boyfriend’s door, your eyebrows furrow together when you don’t hear a single thing coming inside. Usually the male would be playing music out loud or watching a show but all you heard was silence. 

You hesitantly rest your hand on the doorknob and open the door with a soft creek, your features immediately getting illuminated by the LED lights in the room. 

“Nick?” You call as you step inside the room. You gently shut the door behind you as your eyes scan the room in search of your boyfriend. 

Where the hell is Nick?

“Nick~” You call again, dragging out his name as you set the bag in your hand down on the desk nearby. When you glance over at the closed bathroom door, you let out a sigh of relief when you see light creeping out from underneath the door. You quickly make your way over to the room and gently knock on the wood. “Nick? Are you in here?” 

The sudden sound of something clattering to the floor startles you and you instinctively take a step back. 

“Yeah, I- Hold on.” You hear Nick say, his voice muffled due to the shut door. More clattering runs through your ears before the faint sound of footsteps approaches the door. You quickly lift your head when the door opens and you can’t help the smile creeping onto your lips when you see Nick peek his head out from behind the door. 

“Hi, baby.” You greet softly. 

“Hi.” Nick breathes. Once the male fully opens the door, you quickly walk up to him and cup his face. You gently caress your thumbs over the redhead’s soft skin and forming stubble on his chin, your eyes momentarily shifting up to his blue irises.

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, knowing the answer already as you land a quick peck on your boyfriend’s lips. At the redhead’s silence, you send the male a worried look and gently grab his chin with your thumb and pointer finger to make him look up at you. “Baby?” 

“I’m not hungry right now,” Nick mumbles, avoiding eye contact as he looks down at the hem of the sweater hanging on your shoulders. 

“You feeling sick or anything? It’s not like you to skip a meal.” As you set your hand on your boyfriend’s forehead to check his temperature, the boy quickly shakes his head. 

“No, I feel fine.” Nick sends you a small smile as you lower your hand. 

“Alright… Well, I brought you your food from the kitchen so if you’re hungry, it’ll be on your desk.” 

Nick hums softly and slowly peels out of your hold to walk to his bed. You can’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the male’s action and turn on your heels to watch the redhead climb into bed and bring his covers up to his shoulders. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You ask gently as you make your way over to Nick and take a seat on the mattress. Your boyfriend doesn’t respond and instead moves up to rest his head in your lap. He tilts his head a little so he can dig his face into your thigh, a heavy sigh escaping him as his shoulders drop. A frown makes its way into your lips as you gaze down at Nick. 

Something is definitely wrong but you know prying would get you nowhere. 

“Sweetheart, you wanna get up real quick so I can move into a more comfortable position?” Nick hums faintly and sits up to allow you to climb into bed. After comfortably situating yourself against the headboard, Nick immediately lays in your lap again. Your hand instinctively goes into the male’s red locks, your fingers carefully detangling some strands as they card through his hair. A content hum can be heard from the male in your lap as you quietly continue your actions.

“I missed you.’ Nick mumbles against your clothed thigh.

“I missed you too.” You say softly, a smile making its way onto your lips. 

“Can you stay with me tonight?” 

“Tonight?”

“Mh-hmm.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll just have to go back to my place to get a change of clothes.” Nick quickly lifts his head the moment the statement leaves your lips. You peer down at the boy and raise an eyebrow at him when he narrows his eyes at you. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Don't act like you can't sleep in my clothes.” You chuckle softly as Nick lies back down. He takes a moment to dig his face in your thigh and comfortable before he continues, “I already put aside some stuff for you in the closet.”

“Did you now?”

Nick nods his head. “Your favorite hoodie is part of the pile. I seriously can't wrap my head around the fact that you can sleep in a hoodie without overheating.”

“I definitely overheat but I just like how your clothes smell.” 

“You're fucking weird for that.” Nick lets out a surprised laugh when you jab your hand into his side. You watch with narrowed eyes as the redhead rolls off your lap and sits up, the blanket that was once at his shoulders falling to his lap. “Don’t do that!”

“Don't call me weird.” 

“Well, you kinda are-” Nick gets cut off by you reaching over and grabbing his shoulders. The male lets out a small surprised yell as you force him down onto his back, his eyes widening when you hover over him. Before your boyfriend gets the chance to say anything, an anxious spew of giggles bubbles up his throat when you latch onto his sides. ‘Okay, OKAY! I take it back! Get off!”

“Are you just taking back what you said because I’m threatening you?”

“Well obviously… Now get your paws off me.”

A dramatic gasp escapes your lips as you gaze down at Nick. “PAWS?? Alright, you know what...”

“Wait, WAIT!’ Nick quickly grabs onto your hands and pries them off his body before you get the chance to do anything. “I’m messing with you!”

You hum lowly and narrow your eyes at the redhead. “Let go.” You state flatly.

“Promise not to touch me!” 

“I won’t touch you.” 

“Promise it!” 

You sigh and hang your head low, a smile creeping onto your lips. “Fine.” You huff. “I promise I won’t touch you.” 

“Okay…” Nick says slowly. He hesitantly releases his strong grip on your wrists and the moment you’re free, you plop down on top of him. Nick lets out a faint grunt the moment you do so and immediately wraps his arms around you. “God you're heavy.” You heavily sigh and dig your hand into Nick’s side the second that statement escapes his lips, your action immediately drawing panicked giggles from the male. 

“OKAY, OKAY!” The redhead exclaims through giggles. Nick begins to squirm underneath you and quickly grabs onto your shoulders. “You fucking liar knock it off!” Nick’s giggles ring through your ears as he curls his body around your hand, both his hands continuously shoving your shoulders to get you up and off him. You continue your actions for a few more seconds before you stop and wrap both your arms behind the redhead’s back. A large smile spreads across your lips as Nick heavily pants and throws an arm over his face, a few giggles still escaping his lips. 

“That’s low,” Nick mumbles. 

“You were being an ass.” You say with a shrug as you slip an arm out from underneath the male to fiddle with one of the strings of his hoodie. “You should be thanking me to be honest.” 

“THANKING YOU?!” You clamp your hand over Nick’s mouth at his loud exclamation. 

“No need to yell, I'm right here.” You scold softly. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his speech muffled due to your hand still being over his mouth. Once you remove your hand, the redhead huffs and frowns. “Again, thanking you?” 

“Yes, thanking me.” As you rest your chin on Nick’s chest, the latter stares down at you with a confused expression. “You were clearly upset when I came in.”

“Oh.” 

You lift your head slightly to lock eyes with Nick. “Is something wrong? You can tell me, you know. It’s not like I’ll judge.” You watch as Nick forces his lips into a straight line and averts his gaze to anywhere but you. After watching the male looking around the room aimlessly, you sigh softly and rest your head back down on his chest. “You don't have to tell me.” You say, your speech muffled due to the thick fabric of the hoodie covering Nick's body. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his hand gently resting on the top of your head. 

“Don’t apologize, there’s no need to. You can tell me whenever you’re ready.” You momentarily lift your head to land a quick peck on Nick’s lips before you return to lying on his chest. “By the way.” You start, earning a small hum from Nick. “Matt said to be ready by five thirty so you guys can film.” 

“Alright,” Nick says softly as he leans back against the pillow he’s lying on. “Can we nap real quick? You know, before I have to go?” 

“I was hoping you’d say that your warmth is making me tired.” You reply, your words slurring together as your eyes drift shut. You don’t even hear Nick’s response and only manage to feel his hand rubbing circles on your back before you drift off to sleep. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

LoveGame by Lady Gaga plays in your headphones as you make your way to the living room, a small pack of fruit snacks in your left hand and a can of coke in the other. You find yourself bopping your head along to the song, your lips mouthing the lyrics, as you seat yourself down on the sofa. 

The triplets have been out for about an hour and a half to film their new car video. You quickly became bored out of your mind being alone in the empty and silent house and you had to figure out a way to entertain yourself as you waited for the boys to come back. 

And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now. 

You shift your body a little so you're comfortably lying on your back before you rip open the fruit snacks. As you pop a few in your mouth, you fail to hear the front door opening, the loud music playing in your ears being the culprit. 

You also failed to see the triplets walk into the living room. 

That was until you felt a tap on your knee. You quickly sit up at the small touch and rip the headphones off your head, the music still somewhat audible as you rest them around your neck. You immediately make eye contact with Chris who looks down at you with a worried expression. 

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” You ask, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach as you lock eyes with the male in front of you. 

Chris raises a hand to rub the back of his nape, his lips forming into a straight line before he replies, “Nick’s crying.” 

You feel your heart drop the moment the sentence escapes the brunette's mouth and you find yourself urgently standing up, the pack of fruit snacks and can of soda being long forgotten on the floor and couch cushion. 

“Where is he?” 

“Matt’s room.” You gently nod your head and make a break for the middle triplet’s bedroom, which is thankfully a few steps away. You knock on the door a few times to alert the people inside of your arrival before you let yourself inside. The moment you step foot inside, your eyes land on your boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed and furiously rubbing his eyes. Matt is sitting on the left side of the male and pulls Nick into his chest, one of his hands immediately going to rub comforting circles on his back. 

You practically run over to the two boys and crouch down in front of Nick, a worried expression painting your face when you hear the male faintly sobbing. You momentarily shift your gaze from your boyfriend to Matt, who’s sharing the same worried and concerned look on his face before you turn back to Nick. You slowly set a hand on the latter’s knee and go to pull away when the male flinches at the sudden touch. 

“Baby?” You call softly, your thumb gently caressing Nick’s clothed kneecap. The redhead turns his head slightly and makes a small gap in between his fingers to look at you. “Can you move your hands, please? I wanna see your face, sweetheart.” 

Nick furiously shakes his head and goes back to tucking his head against Matt’s chest. You sigh faintly and lean forward to rest your chin on your boyfriend’s thigh. As you gaze up at the boy, you catch the redhead looking down at you, a larger gap being made between his pointer and middle finger. You manage to make out Nick’s irritated red eyes before he sits up and attempts to cover his whole face with one hand, the other reaching for yours to firmly hold. 

“Can you come up here, please?” Nick asks, his voice fragile and quiet as he squeezes your hand a few times. 

“Yes, of course.” You reply and quickly get up from your position. As you go to sit next to Nick, you make eye contact with Matt who’s gazing up at you. 

“Will you two be okay if I leave?” The male mouths. The moment you nod your head and ruffle Matt’s hair a little, the brunette slowly gets up from his spot on the bed and quietly exits the room. After ensuring the male shuts the door behind him, you take a seat next to Nick. The moment your boyfriend feels the mattress dip next to him, he immediately crashes into you, his face burrowing into your clothed chest. You slip your hand out of Nick’s hold to envelop the male in a tight embrace, your heart shattering into a million small pieces when you feel your shirt dampening. 

Nick slithers his arms around your torso, his nails digging into your back as he silently cries against you. You allow the male to get all his feelings out as you rub comforting circles on his back with one hand and card your fingers through his hair with the other. It took a few more minutes of comfort for Nick’s cries to subside and soft sniffles to emit from him. You wait for your boyfriend to remove himself from your chest and hesitantly look up at you before you look at him. 

“Oh, baby…” You mumble, your heart aching as you take in Nick’s puffy, red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You cup the side of the redhead's face with one hand and keep the other on his back before you begin to gently caress the male’s damp cheek. “Are you comfortable with telling me what happened?” 

“Mh-hmm.” Nick hums, his eyes shutting as he fully leans into your palm. The male enjoys your delicate touch for a moment longer before he speaks up. “I saw some comments yesterday and they stuck to me. I saw more when we were filming today too. I’m usually able to handle hate comments because they’re fucking ridiculous and stupid but these hurt.”

“What were they saying if you mind me asking?” 

“Most were fat-shaming me and others were calling me slurs. I haven’t been called a slur in a while so I’m guessing that’s why it stuck. But you know how self-conscious and insecure I am about my body so seeing people nitpick at that stuff just…” Nick cuts himself off as more tears well up in his eyes. You frown deeply and quickly wipe the warm liquid escaping the redhead’s eyes before they cascade down his face. “It just made me feel more bad about myself.” 

“Sweetheart, can you do something for me?” You ask softly. Nick gently nods his head and sniffles as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “Can you lay down? On your back?” 

“Mh-hmm…” Nick hesitantly hums and moves back on the bed so he’s no longer on the edge before he lays on his back. After the male shuffles a bit to get comfortable, you crawl up and reach your arm over to rest it on the side of Nick’s shoulder. After situating yourself so you're hovering over your boyfriend, you bite back the smile threatening to form on your lips as you take in Nick’s shocked and flustered expression. “If you want to make out, I refuse to do it in Matt’s room.” 

“We’re not gonna make out, hun.” 

“Then what are you doing?” 

“Can you just trust me?” 

Nick puts his hands up defensively and rests them on both sides of his head. You shake your head slightly before you lean down and begin to land soft pecks on Nick’s forehead. You slowly make your way down the side of your boyfriend’s face and make a trail of light kisses across his jaw, stopping near his right ear. You feel Nick shift underneath you, both his arms lowering and coming up to latch onto your shoulders. You take a glance over at your boyfriend and smile smugly when you see him squeeze his eyes shut, his lips forced into a thin line. You focus back on what you're doing and land a few kisses on the shell of Nick’s ear, a stifled chuckle escaping you when the male squeals softly and forces his ear against his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Nick giggles, his nails digging into your biceps. 

“Stay still.” You state, completely ignoring the redhead’s question as you continue your trail of kisses down the side of his neck. Nick subconsciously tilts his head back to give you more access to his skin as you litter his entire neck with kisses for a few more seconds. You stay on a specific spot near the side of your boyfriend’s neck for a moment and take his skin in between your teeth. 

“Baby,” Nick says warningly, a faint whine escaping his lips as you nibble on his skin. 

“I’m moving, I'm moving.” You mumble against his skin. You stay true to your words and begin a trail of kisses down Nick’s clothed chest. You shift down to continue to kiss down the redhead’s torso and both of his sides. “You know…” You start, lifting your head to make sure your boyfriend hears your voice clearly. “I love every single part of your body. Every inch of it. I find you so fucking perfect.” You lower your head back down to Nick’s hips, your lips continuing to leave a trail of pecks down his leg. 

You grab one of the male’s knees and push it up to allow yourself to leave longer kisses around your boyfriend’s thigh. You feel Nick tense, followed by his breath hitching, when you inch up closer to his thigh. When you get a little close to his crotch, you switch over to his other leg and repeat the same process you did moments ago. Once you get to Nick’s knee, you decide to tease the male a little by nibbling on his kneecap. The redhead lets out a surprised shout and immediately erupts into giggles as he pulls his leg away from your reach. 

“Sorry, I had to.” You apologize with a giggle. 

“Of course you and you. You can’t let me breathe for five minutes.” Nick huffs, his arms crossing over his chest. 

“Oh, please.” You latch onto Nick’s thigh and drag him back to his original position before you crawl up so you’re face-to-face with him. You send your boyfriend a small smile before you dip your face into his neck and start another trail of kisses down his shoulder and left arm. When you get to his wrist, you quickly do the same with the other arm. Before you lift your head, you nibble the skin on Nick’s shoulder and smile into his skin when he whines and shoves your shoulder. You pull back with a small chuckle and capture Nick’s lips for a quick kiss. When you pull back, you cup the side of his face with one hand and keep the other on the side of his shoulder to keep yourself up. 

“Baby?” You call as you begin to gently caress your boyfriend's cheek with your thumb. 

“Yeah?” Nick replies as he blinks up at you, a stupid smile on his lips as he leans into your touch. 

“Those people are fucking douchebags for leaving those comments. All they’re trying to do is tear you down and see you all down in the dumps. You don’t want them to win this stupid game, right?” Nick furiously shakes his head. “I know it’s hard to ignore all of the hate comments but I can guarantee that not a single one of these people will have the balls to say this shit to your face. And if one of them does, I will happily rock their shit because they have no right to say all these things about you. I think you are perfect in every way possible. I love your eyes, your nose, your smile, God how much I adore your smile, your tattoos, your hair, your arms which are getting a little buff if I may add.” 

When you remove your hand from Nick’s face to squeeze his bicep, the male smiles widely and lightly hits your arm. “I know I don’t see your bare body much since you like to have something covering your torso at all times but I am sure that you look fucking perfect.” You move your hand down and land a few pokes on Nick’s stomach. The sound of him laughing softly brings a smile to your lips and you quickly halt your actions when the male grabs your wrists. “Your laugh is perfect as well. It’s so cute and contagious.” 

“Alright…” Nick says, his voice trailing off as he looks to the side. 

“Do you not think so?” You ask, a single eyebrow-raising. Nick hesitantly shakes his head and looks at you. “Well, I think it’s perfect and I'm not taking a no for an answer.”  Nick sighs, knowing he can’t say anything that’ll change your mind and release you from his hold. When your wrists are free from his grasp, you lay down on top of the male and wrap an arm underneath him. “Also, one more thing.” 

“What is it?” Nick lifts his head to lock eyes with you. 

“I’m gonna post something on my story later to shut these fuckers up.” 

“y/n…” 

“You can’t change my mind.” You send Nick a large smile before you land a quick peck on his lips. After nibbling on his bottom lip, you pull back and rest your chin on his chest, and gaze into his eyes. Seeing that you’re staring intently at him, Nick grows flustered and covers his face with one hand and uses the other to softly push your face away. 

“Stop staring,” Nick mumbles. 

“I can’t help it, you're so pretty.” You can’t help but smile widely when Nick giggles and looks away. You gently pry the male’s hands away from his face and cup his face, the sight of his flustered face causing your smile to widen even more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

“Mmm… Not as much as I do, I'm afraid.” 

“Really? You wanna bet on it?”

“Absolutely.” Nick hums softly and grabs the base of your neck to pull you close and crash his lips onto yours. You let out a small noise of surprise at the male’s sudden action however you quickly melt into the kiss. Before you allow yourself to get too absorbed in the kiss, you pull back. 

“Is that watermelon?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It tastes fucking amazing.” The second that sentence escapes your lips, you quickly plant your lips back on Nick’s to resume the small, yet somewhat heated make-out session. 

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· TagList ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

@freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @patscorner @frankdelreyy @sturnssan @kileybankzz @robins-scoop

[ginax0916]

hii i have a request!! could you write something where the reader usually talks a fair amount of time, but recently got more quiet around her friends, doesn’t go out as much and so on? and matts starts to realise and talk to her about it.

(and they end up kissing teehee😁)

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐌𝐞 * ੈ✩‧₊˚

Matt Sturniolo x Fem!reader

Genre - angst and fluff

Synopsis - Reader is over stressed and overwhelmed with school and Matt helps her. Love confession at the end 🙈

☾ ﾟ｡⋆

I hate school. It’s so tiring and the most overwhelming thing. It’s all fine until you get to college. Highschool was rough but nothing compared to being in college. It’s when things actually get real, when you realize if you don’t do enough then it all affects you future. It gives me so much anxiety to think about how if I fail then I fail in life too. Because without a college diploma then I have no job, no way to make money etc. It’s all too much and it’s really tiring me out.

I used to be the most talkative person you’d ever meet. I would go on and on about practically anything. I also went out to parties and hang outs a lot. Almost every weekend you would see posts of me hanging out with my friends. But now? Nothing. In my mind the only way to get through school is to isolate myself and just focus on my work. I don’t think anyone would really realize though.

Matt pov:

“Have you guys see y/n at any of the hang outs lately? I might just be hallucinating but I haven’t seen her out in weeks” I ask Nick and Chris suddenly realizing that y/n has been silent for a little too long. I’ve been friends with her since middle school. But I’ve also had the biggest crush on her since middle school. I never did anything about though, I just guessed I wasn’t her type or she just saw me as friends since she never did anything to give me a hint.

“Uhhh no she hasn’t even texted on the group chat lately” Chris answers.

“Yea I haven’t heard from her either you should check up on her” Nick says to me as he goes up the stairs to his room.

Their answers make me worry. This isn’t like y/n at all. She’s the most talkative and outgoing person you’ll ever meet. That’s the thing I love most about her, it makes me so happy to just listen to her voice while she rants about the most random topics. But it’s been almost 2 weeks since anyone heard anything from her.

“Where are you going?” Chris asks confused.

“To see if y/n is ok” I reply as I walk out of the house and head to her apartment.

Y/n Pov:

I’ve realized that maybe this is better. I’ve been focusing on school and no one has texted me so I’m guessing they don’t really care. Plus if I focus on college then I won’t fail in life and everything will be ok right? And I’m sure people are relieved that they don’t have to hear my annoying voice talking everyday. They probably all think I’m because of it. Although I do miss going out. I miss being with all my friends. I miss laughing and partying with them. I miss one person the most though, Matt. I’ve liked him for so long but never said anything because I didn’t have the nerves to.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I hear the doorbell right. Who would want to come see me at 9pm on a Sunday night? I carefully open the door only to be met with Matt’s worried expression looking at me dead in the eyes. I open the door and step aside to let him in.

“Thank god you’re ok” Matt sighs as he closes the door himself and pulls me into his embrace.

“Why would I not be ok?” I said as I pull away from the hug.

“Because you’ve texted nothing on the group chat for 2 weeks and no one heard from you” Matt says as we both walk to the kitchen.

“I’ve just been focused on school that’s all” I mumble while I clean up all the assignment and essay papers that are scattered along my kitchen counter along with the textbooks.

“You don’t have to clean up it’s ok” Matt says.

“But it’s all so messy” I argue back.

“Ok y/n please just tell me what’s wrong” Matt stands up and walks closer to me. His stare intimidates me and I look down.

“Nothing is wrong I’m fine” I quietly say.

“You don’t just ghost everyone for 2 weeks and say that nothings wrong. Obviously something is so tell me please” Matt practically begs. I feel the tears in my eyes start to swell up. I fight to hold them back but it’s a battle I quickly lose as I feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks.

“Oh n/n” Matts eyes soften and he calls me by my nickname as he wastes no time in wrapping his arms around me.

“It’s too much Matt! Everything is! But if I fail college I fail in life too and then I can’t make money and everything is ruined” I sob into his chest making him hold me tighter.

“Y/n you’re not gonna fail. You’re the smartest person I know. I know you want to focus on school but you’re overworking yourself. It’s ok to take a break sometimes. It’s ok breathe. I’m right here” Matt comforts me and his hand rubs my back soothingly. I try to breathe in but I just let out another sob.

“In through your nose and out your mouth. Good just like that, you’re doing so good” He praises as I do what he says and my sobs turn into a soft cry.

“Can you jump up? Can you do that for me hm?” He taps the back of my thighs signaling for me to jump up.

“Mhm” I hum as I wrap my legs around his torso and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Good girl” He mumbled and his holds me up and walks us to the couch where he sit down and lays back with me cuddled into his side. My head is laying on his chest and I softly sniffle once in a while.

“Now c’mon talk to me” Matt says softly.

I sit up a bit and raise my head so I can meet his stare.

“I- I just-” I stutter out unable to form sentences.

“Me focusing on school isn’t the only reason I ghosted people. I just feel like it would be better because everyone probably finds me annoying because I talk to god damn much! And who would even want to listen to me talk about the most random and uninteresting things? They’re all probably relieved that they don’t have to hear my voice everyday. Look I’m doing it again! I just keep on go-” I’m suddenly cut off by Matt’s lips on mine. Shut me up completely and he kisses me passionately.

He kissed me. Matt kissed me. I immediately kiss back and he smiles into the kiss. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and on of my hands plays with his hair that runs so smoothly through my fingers. The kiss is full of love and eagerness. But Matt pulls away before it turns into something else. He rests his forehead on mine and we stare at each other breathlessly.

“Y/n I’ve liked you for so long I had to kiss you. No one thinks you’re annoying everyone loves your talking. I love it more than anyone else. It makes me so happy when you tell me you have a story to tell. I love hearing you talk, I love seeing you smile, I love hearing your laugh I love everything about you” Matt confesses making my blush.

“I love you Matt” I kiss him again. This time it felt more passionate than the first.

“I love you too y/n”

Hmmm idk if I like this. Sorry it took so long I have schoolll

Request anything pls 🙏

[dean-a-mean-tae]

Nicholas Ross | Stray Kids Additional Member AU

(I made the banner myself, but @cafekitsune made the dividers. I make the mini moodboards; I found all the pictures from Pinterest.) Nicholas Ross Tag

If you see (Update) next to something, I added it after posting. You DO NOT have my permission to put any of my work into an AI You DO NOT have my permission to repost my work anywhere.

If you want to ask Nicholas a question, click *this*

ABOUT NICHOLAS

☾ Character Profile

☾ Facts About Nicholas

☾ Body Modifications + Sense of Style

☾ Nicholas' Rachas

☾ Iconic Moments

RELATIONSHIPS

☾ Everything about Nicholas' relationships: platonic, romantic

WRITINGS

☾ Nicholas Ross Imagines

☾ Nicholas Ross Reaction Style

☾ SKZ Family Version 1

☾ SKZ Family Version 2

☾ 2 Kids Room

MUSIC

☾ Nicholas Ross Solo Songs

☾ Nicholas Ross Collabs

MISC

☾ Filler Posts (Incorrect quotes, social media posts, etc.)

☾ Nicholas Ross Asks

☾ Nicholas as a Yandere

☾ Nicholas as Hybrid

☾ #NickaDees (It's like Chickadee but replaced with Nick :])

©️DEANAMEANTAE2023

Tags list: @bada-lee-ily, @jinnie-ret, @hwxnghyynjin, @foxilsdenn, @rensahazard, @mynameisnotlaura, @lucianidealz, @ziipzeepzop-eez, @ilovejeongin007, @michelle4eve, @leezanetheofficial, @spookzyclown You can be added by asking in the replies, sending me a message, or doing an ask thingy.

[semisgroupie]

4k collab — what’s done in the dark ☾

theme: Taboo Relationships! (prof x student, ceo x secretary, politician x prostitute, priest x parishioner, anything you can think of!)

rules:

☾ you must be 18+ to join and have your age somewhere accessible on your blog

☾ any form of content is allowed (art, writing, nsfw, dc) just make sure everything is tagged appropriately!

☾ there can be a repeat of characters but only 2 are allowed! (so if one person chooses toji then only one more person can choose him)

☾ there’s no writing limit! write what you feel is enough

☾ you can submit multiple pieces! (you don’t have to submit more than one piece but if you feel inspired enough then send in as much as you like, but don’t overwork yourself!)

☾ once you’re done please use the tag #wditdcollab☾ or tag me!

☾ and have fun!

FANDOMS: this collab is open to any and all fandoms!

DEADLINE: there is no hard deadline but there is a soft deadline of APRIL 5TH

HOW TO ENTER: send me an ask with your character, fandom and what the taboo relationship will be! (EX: can I join with professor!urahara x student!reader?)

MASTERLIST

BLEACH

☾ professor!aizen sosuke & assistant professor!grimmjow jaegerjaquez x student!fem. reader — ME!

☾ devil!aizen x angel!reader — @stygianoir

☾ actor! Reader x bodyguard! Shunsui Kyoraku — @/chaotic-nick

☾ ceo!Ichigo x secretary!reader x ceo!grimmjow — @/nymphoheretic

☾ ishida ryuken x fem!reader (doctor and nurse) — @ryndicate

☾ ichigo’s girlfriend x isshin — @/ryndicate

JUJUTSU KAISEN

☾ priest!nanami & priest!toji x parishioner!fem.reader — ME!

☾ ex-lawyer higuruma x model fem!reader — @blueparadis

☾ ceo!maki & secretary!reader — @gyuwutaro

☾ demon lord!sukuna and priestess!reader — @angelltheninth

☾ karate!teacher toji x student!reader — @getogasm

☾ professor!nanami x student!reader — @edens-pen

☾ priest/teacher! geto x catholic school girl! reader — @ghoularaki

☾ geto’s ex girlfriend x satoru — @25-30-03

☾ pimp!mahito x prostitute!reader — @rozentias

AOT

☾ therapist!zeke yeager x patient!reader — @ctrlwave

CSM

☾ art dealer!kishibe x art student!reader — @/ctrlwave

☾ director! A-list actor! kishibe x idol! Reader — @chaotic-nick

☾ knight!quanxi and princess!reader — @pcwer

GENSHIN IMPACT

☾ professor!albedo & assistant!reader — @mrskreideprinz

☾ general!pierro x queen!reader — @manjiroscum

☾ tartaglia x reader — @hiraizens

OTHER

☾ Priest!Kakashi x nun!reader x demon!itachi (NARUTO) — @nymphoheretic

☾ bev cart girl!reader x country club patron!kuroo (HAIKYUU) — @lou-struck

☾ fukuzawa yukichi x port mafia!reader (BSD) — @suyacho

[kitybur]

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐚𝐜𝐰𝐡𝐲

⌦ in which you and your boyfriend meet up for the first time.

— warnings: gn!reader, pure fluff

| I love your Isaacwhy content, I was wondering if you could write another? Its a free card to write anything about him ig |

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

on july 4th, you were seated on a plane and flying down to austin, texas. why? it’s all because you became friends with six men while they were filming a discord video and just so happened to fall in love with one of them.

so here you were, six in the morning on a plane flying out from (home town) to texas. your nerves were all over the place, in a good way and a bad way. you were super thrilled to meet your friends and your boyfriend for the first time.

it was weird to focus on meeting your boyfriend for the first time. i mean, you did date online for four months, but you wouldn’t have changed it for the world. whether online or in person, isaacwhy was the best boyfriend known to man kind.

after many hours on a plane, you finally landed and was quickly able to get off and grab your luggage. your legs hurt from laying uncomfortably the whole time but it felt good to be able walk and stretch.

you stood around for a moment or two before looking around the airport to see if you could notice anyone. fortunately, you spotted who you thought was tanner walking towards an exit. you took a deep breath before heading in the same direction the man went, praying it was who you thought it was.

when you rounded the corner, tanner and grunk were taking a photo together while nick held a camera recording them. you were about to say hello, but grunk had managed to catch your appearance first.

he gasped in delight and ran towards you. grunk had always looked up to you as if you were his older sibling, you had that connection as soon as you met. grunk’s new found interest caught the attention of the others as nick moved the camera to catch the moment.

“y/n!” grunk’s arms wrapped around your waist as he was slightly shorter than you and yours cradled his head, one hand rubbed his back sweetly. after a few more seconds, grunk had let go and tanner ran up to you to take his place. he patted you on the back and muttered how good it was to see you. nick than came up and wrapped an arm around your neck, giving you a side hug as he still held the camera.

when all three boys stepped away, there was still one you were focused on meeting. isaac stood less than two meters away, his eyes piercing yours as he stood wide eyed. nick made sure to record the interaction, knowing you two would want it after.

it didn’t take long for isaac to speed walk over to you and grab you by the waist, hoisting you up so your feet were off the ground. he held you tightly around the waist as you held him just the same around the neck. your head was between shoulder, breathing in his sent just to make sure you were really here.

isaac gently put you down but didn’t let go. his back was arched from the height difference but he didn’t care; as long as you were in his arms. his palm ran along your spine, giving you goosebumps as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, holding it there before finally letting go.

although isaac wasn’t done holding you just yet, he pulled you back in but this time your hands were around his waist as he stood tall. his hands, much like yours did to grunk’s, cradled your head and gently rubbed the back of your neck.

“it’s so good to see you, sweetheart.” he whispered, his lips coming in contact with the shell of your ear. you nodded into his chest, agreeing whole heartedly. you let out an exhale, feeling like since you gained his touch it’s been better to breath.

when you looked up, isaac felt like he could’ve died. your chin rested on his chest and your love sick smile with droopy, tired eyes. he brought his lips down to the crown of your head, closing his eyes and pressing a kiss, much like you had done to his cheek.

“i promise you, soon enough we will be able to hold each other everyday for however long we want. would you like that, hmm?”

“yeah, of course. anything with you is perfect. holding you is perfect.” isaac laughed lightly, rubbing your back once more before letting go. he already continued to repeat his promise to himself, making sure that he would never forget it. he would give anything in the world if it meant that he could hold onto you again.

and maybe forever.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

a/n: sorry i’ve been away, i hope this short fic will make up for some time. i have many stories in the works i will get to soon. enjoy my isaacwhy lovers <3

[disturbedwoodelf]

꩜ 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘯! ꩜

note: if they ever decide to read tumblr, I’m

deleting my account and ghosting yall. I

can’t handle that kind of embarrassment

I mostly write for Matt, but will write

Chris or Nick on occasion.

I don’t WRITE for Nate, but I’ll do cute

lil fluffy mooodboards and edits bc

let’s be honest he never asked for any of

this, he’s just their best friend who is just

wanting to live a normal Boston life 😭

⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆

Hale • 23 • she/her/they/them • bi

get to know me • masterlist • pinterest

⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆

hex # for my page colors

pink - #e8b3c6

and then just black?

⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆ ⋆。ﾟ☁︎。⋆。 ﾟ☾ ﾟ。⋆

[nickgoesinsane]

Being Sukuna’s vessel and he stands in front of any reflective surface to flirt with you whenever he’s in control.

He just turns your head this way and that to admire your face, tracing the curve of your jaw with a claw tipped finger. He grins broadly once he’s done, stepping back to look down at your shared body. “Don’t you look delicious?” Sukuna purrs in delight, now entranced with the way his tattoos look on your skin.

“Fight now, flirt later.” You remind him, momentarily regaining control of your vocal cords.

Sukuna sighs like complying is a chore, turning to the trembling curse before you, “You owe me.”

“Sure.”

[ocean1clures]

🫧˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚. EPONINES MASTERLIST

˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊 what i write for : the sturniolo triplets !

🐚˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚ genres i like to write : fantasy, thriller, romance, historical fiction, fairytale, love tropes, mystery, horror

✧˚.🫧𖦹⋆ requests? : OPEN (please request <33)

˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🐚˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚ MATT STURNIOLO:

one shots:

n/a

series:

n/a

mini series:

n/a

head canons:

n/a

drabbles:

n/a

˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆｡˚ CHRIS STURNIOLO:

one shots:

n/a

series:

n/a

mini series:

n/a

headcanons:

n/a

drabbles:

n/a

‧₊˚ ⋅♡🐚 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ NICK STURNIOLO: (platonic)

one shots:

n/a

series:

n/a

mini series:

n/a

head canons:

n/a

drabbles:

n/a

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚𓇼 🌊 🐚 REQUESTS:

the struggle

[matts-k1tten]

hiii idk if ur still taking requests but do u think you can write a story abt toxic!chris x reader

based on happier than ever by billie eilish starting about 2:22-4:10

basically he’s just toxic and they were all childhood best friends like lived down the street and her and chris started dating and he just ruins it like on multiple occasions and a party and talks all this shit about reader and doesn’t have sex w other ppl but is like always caught kissing other people and he just ruins it for not only them but also her friendship with nick and matt, but she keeps going back to chris (maybe a possessive smut part based off house of balloons by the weeknd) and reader finally breaks it off and ends up falling in love w matt (maybe?? idk write what u want)

sorry if this doesn’t make sense i really hope it does😭

𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫

summary: req!

warnings: smutty, swearing, kissing, cheating, fighting, slighttt angst, mentions of drinking, lemme know if I missed anything.

not proofread

events are all over the place

🜸

🜚

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

(9 years ago)

“C’mon!” Chris whisper yelled. “Don’t wake up Matt and Nick!” Chris whispers again. I giggle quietly and tip toe through the doorway outside with a blanket in my hand. Once Chris and I were outside, we started laughing and running to the near by playground. “You’re gonna drop the snacks Chris slow down!” I giggle and jog next to him. Chris giggles more and holds onto the snacks tighter. Chris and I make it to the park and climb up on the playground and place the blanket we brought down on the surface. Chris drops the snacks and lays on his back on the blanket. I do the same and let out a loud sigh. We talk for a while and laugh. It goes silent for a moment.

We both stare at the stars and hold each other’s hands. Chris starts counting out of nowhere which made me laugh out loud and turn my head to him. “What are you doing?” I giggle and look at the side of his face. Chris stops counting and smiles, not looking at me. “I was counting the stars. Don’t you ever wonder how many stars there are?” Chris whispers. I smile and look away into the night sky. “Yeah, all the time.” I whisper back. “You wanna know something?” Chris whispers again. I turn to him and nod. “What?”

Chris’s smile grows more.

“I love you so much, beyond all the stars in the the whole galaxy. The way they shine remind me of you, the way sparkle remind me of you. You’re a star. You’re my star.” Chris finishes and turns his head to smile at me. I smile genuinely and lay my head on his shoulder and stare up at the stars.

I point to the brightest star I saw and Chris followed my finger. “That star right there, is the one that reminds me of you because-“ I lower my finger. “You’ve always been outgoing and the brightest star of them all.” I smile up at the sky. Chris smiles and squeezes my hand. “You’re the best, my star.” Chris smiles.

I laugh and look up at him. “My star?” I giggle again. “Yea! You remind me of a star and-“ I cut him off. “No! It’s cute it just…caught me off guard. But I love it.” I smile at him. Chris smiles back and turns back to the sky and I do too.

-

(present time)

“Ready?” Chris asks and comes up behind me in the mirror. I nod and smile at him. Chris smiles back and kisses my cheek and walks away.

I think of that moment all the time all those years ago. Chris and I are now 20 years old and started dating about 3 years ago when we found out we both fell in love with each other.

I run over to Chris in the kitchen and pounce on him. Chris laughs and hugs me back. “Someone’s excited!” Chris exclaims and giggles. “Why so excited, my star?” Chris asks. I giggle against his chest. “You know I’ve been waiting for this party for months now! And I love you so much for coming with me!” I shout and squeeze him tighter. Chris laughs and continues to hug me. “Matt and Nick are going to meet us there so we should go now, yeah?” Chris says and pulls away. I nod and we walk out to the car.

We both get in the car and Chris starts driving to the party. We blast music the whole way and about 20 minutes later we arrive to the party.

Chris and I walk in hand in hand but when he spots his friends, he drops my hand and ditches me to go say hi to his friends. I just watch him walk up to his friends and look around the party and see some familiar and some not. I spot Matt and Nick and walk over to them. They spot me walking towards them and smile at me. Nick hops off his chair and leans in to hug me. Matt hugs me after Nick and we all take a seat. “How are you and Chris y/n?” Nick asks and holds his cup up to his mouth and takes a sip. I make a funny face.

“We’re good I guess I mean, he’s still acting weird when we’re around other people but he said he won’t talk to another girl again and I should trust him but I don’t. I don’t know why I keep forgiving him.” I reply. Nick nods and puts down his drink while I look over to Matt who shakes his head and looks down. “Y/n, sometimes you have to confront him about how you feel and can’t keep letting him win.” Matt says and crosses his hands. I nod and look down at the table. “Where is Chris anyway?” Nick asks.

I look up at him. “Oh, he went with his friends when we got here.” I answer. Nick rolls his eyes and picks up his drink. “Of course he is.” Nick mumbles and takes a sip of his drink. I sigh and sit back in my chair. My leg start’s unintentionally bouncing under the table and I start picking at my nails. Matt notices and holds on my hands. “Are you okay?” Matt whispers so that Nick wouldn’t hear. I nod at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I smile at him and he returns the smile and takes his hand off mine and leans back in his chair.

I look at my hands and put them under the table.

The song changes and it gets me excited and I start dancing in my seat. Nick giggles at me and shakes his head with a smile. “I’m gonna go get Chris, I was dance!” I shout and stand up to go find Chris. I spot Chris where I saw him leave me and walk up behind him and his friends. But I abruptly stop when I hear my name. “Chris are you still with y/n?” Once of Chris’s friends asks. Chris takes a sip of his drink and places it down.

“Yeah, but bro she’s so annoying and clingy and she always stays in bed all day and doesn’t spend time with me.” Chris laughs at the end of his sentence and so does his friends.

ouch.

What he said felt like someone just stabbed my heart. I stand there in disbelief and listen some more. “Why don’t you just get with Talia? She’s hot, she got a nice body and she’s totally into you!” Once of his friends say again. My heart drops hearing that and I just hold onto my chest. “Honestly, maybe.” Chris laughs again and takes a sip of his drink.

My heart stings hearing what Chris just said. But he promised?

I quietly walk away with a heavy heart, back to Nick and Matt. Matt and Nick are having their own conversation when I approach them and slowly sag down in my seat with a hurt look on my face. They both stop talking once they see me sit down. “I thought you were going to dance with Chris?” Nick says with his eyebrows up. I hug my body tight and look at Nick and then the table. “I don’t feel like it anymore.”

Nick looks at Matt and Matt looks at Nick. They both wear a confused face and Matt shakes his head. “Come dance with us” Matt offers his hand out. I look up at Matt and couldn’t help but smile. I look at Nick and he smiles back. I take Matt’s hand and we all get up to go dance. Nick comes up behind me. “Don’t worry about whatever Chris says.” He whispers in my ear and goes next to Matt. I smile at him and start we start to dance.

They know me so well.

-

About 10 minutes of dancing, I start to get tired and think I need to take a break.

I turn to Matt. “Tell Nick I’m gonna take a break!” I yell over the music. Matt nods and turns to Nick while I walk away and back to our table. I plop down with a sigh and grab Nicks cup and take a sip. As I’m holding Nicks cup, I look around the room. It was very spacious and hot now that we’ve been moving around a lot and been around sweaty people. My eyes suddenly stop on something, someone. I try to focus on the person I’m looking at but it was hard because that person had their back turned to me.

The person turns their head around for a moment and looks around. It was Chris.

He doesn’t notice me staring and looks back to the person he’s talking to who’s leaning on the wall in front of him. I lean to the side to get a better look and see a girl, a gorgeous girl. My heart drops to my feet and I identify her as Talia, the girl he was talking about earlier. My face drops as I stare at them. Chris has his hand on the wall behind her and he’s staring down at her. Talia’s hands suddenly sneak around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. My jaw falls to the floor and I just watch them kiss, Chris kissing another girl.

I snap out of my sad little daze and slam Nicks cup on the table and stomp over to Chris. I’m pretty sure you could see the smoke coming out of my ears as my jaw tightens and my knuckles turn white with how hard I’m clenching them. I come up behind Chris making out with Talia and yank them off each other. Chris turns to me, his eyes hooded and dark. It was obvious he was drunk. Talia gives me a disgusted look. “Uh, excuse you bitch!” She yells.

My blood boiled listening to her but I tried to keep my cool. I ignore her and turn to Chris. “What the fuck are you doing?! You said you wouldn’t talk to another girl again!” I scream at him. Chris was about to say something when Talia speaks up first. “Chris doesn’t want you, he wants a real woman like me and you aren’t what he needs!” She yells. I turn to her for a second with an annoying look.

Stay calm. Stay calm.

I breathe in and turn back to Chris. “Don’t ignore me slut!” Talia shouts at me. Slut?!

That was my last straw. I let go of Chris and punched Talia hard on her right cheek. There was a crowd starting to form around us with flashing lights as Chris just watched us. Talia whimpers and looks at me with a stunned face. “You bitch!” She yells and grabs my hair. I grunt and continue to punch her stomach over and over again with everyone around us going “ooo”. She releases her grip on my hair and holds onto her stomach and curses repeatedly at me. I was about to push her when a pair of arms come to stop me.

I turn around to see Matt holding me and Nick dragging Chris away and scolding him. I look back to Talia who’s looking at me with a bloody nose. “Fuck you!” She screams at me. Matt continues to hold me as I try to break free. “Yeah? Learn how to fight and not pull hair then talk to me pussy!” I yell back at her. “That’s enough.” Matt whispers sternly and drags me outside to Nick and Chris.

Once we’re out of the building Matt drags me over to Nick and Chris, they were both standing at my car. Nick was still yelling at Chris about how immature he is and how he needs to be more responsible. Chris just sits on the car hood and looks at the ground. Matt was still holding me as I wiggled in his arms. “Let go of me.” I say to Matt and pull myself away from Matt and run over to Chris. I stand in front of Chris and his eyes trail up to my face. I see his face and the anger comes rushing back again. I slap Chris in the face and start to yell at him with Nick and Matt staring.

“What the fuck was that?! You promised you wouldn’t even talk to another girl ever again and look what you did, you made out with that whore! You also said shit about me that wasn’t true to your fucking friends which made me feel like shit and more insecure than I already am!” I finish and breathe heavy. Chris sits there holding his face and looking down at the ground. There were angry tears streaming down my face when Chris raised his head to look back up at me.

“I-I’m sorry.” Chris whispers and slurs his words. I shake my head and turn my head to the side with my eyes closed. Chris lifts his hand to turn my face. “You know how sorry I am I didn’t mean to, my star.” I shrug his hand off my and stay silent. “Oh c’mon y/n, y’know how much I love you. I won’t do it again, I promise for real this time.” Chris pleads.

Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Don’t give in.

I look back at Chris and he gives me that face. I sigh and shake my head at him. He knew I loved him a lot and he took advantage of that. “Just get your ass in the car Chris, you’re drunk.” I said. Chris nods and hops in the passenger side. I lean on the car and put my hand to my forehead. Nick walks over to me. “You guys gonna be alright on your own?” Nick asks and puts his hand on my shoulder. I look at him and nod then look down again.

“Yeah, we’ll be alright. Thank you guys.” I try to smile at them. They both nod and hug me then walk away. I sigh once they left my vision and turn to look at Chris through the windshield. Chris was knocked out in the car with his head leaning on the window and his mouth parted open. At least he put his seatbelt on.

I shake my head and walk to the drivers side of the car and hop in and start driving.

-

“Chris get up.” I say and help Chris up. Chris groans and stands up and out the car, leaning on me for support. We walk into the house and Chris crashes on the couch. I sigh and leave him there and walk to the kitchen to get some water. I lean on the island and sip on my water. I fix my hair and pull out my phone and look at myself in the camera.

I turn off my phone and shake my head. Why does Chris have to be like this?

Chris comes out of nowhere and comes up behind me to hold my hips and press his pelvis against my ass. I sigh harshly. “What are you doing, Chris?” I question him and look back for a moment. He doesn’t answer my question and instead leans into my ear. “Let me show you how sorry I am.” He whispers in my ear and starts to kiss down my neck and shoulder. “Chris you’re drunk, not right now.” I say and try to shrug him off but he doesn’t get off. He still doesn’t reply and keeps on kissing me. I could feel his hard against my ass as his hands trail up and down my body. I could feel the wetness grow in my panties.

One more time won’t hurt.

Chris groans quietly and leans back and yanks up my dress and rips off my panties. “Chris!” I yell. “Calm down I’ll buy you another one.” Chris grunts and unbuckles his pants. He wastes no time in slamming into me. I let out a loud moan at the sudden movement as he continues to pound me, not even letting me adjust. He was moving at such a fast paste that I couldn’t even comprehend words.

He leans in to my ear again. “You belong to me.”

With his words he suddenly stops deep inside me and slowly pulls out almost all the way letting me feel every inch of him and then slams right back in and continues. All you could hear was the sounds of our skin slapping and our sounds. The lewd sound of our bodies echoed throughout the room. Chris looked down to where a bodies met and moves faster. My moans progressively grew louder the more his tip brushed my cervix. I could feel Chris’s dick twitch which signaled to me that he was close.

“I-I’m close.” I stuttered out.

Chris just grunts and goes faster. It was almost like he was determined to make me finish. The knot in my stomach tightens even more by each thrust and my noises grow louder. I was starting to see stars and specks of white. Chris slams into me hard which triggers my release and I feel myself squirt all over Chris’s lower stomach while he shoots his load deep inside me. Chris falls on my back with heavy breathes, still inside me.

After a few moments he pulls out of me and I could feel the mix of our cum dripping down my leg. Even though Chris was drunk, he still had enough sobriety to grab a cloth and clean up our mess. We finished cleaning up and go upstairs to our shared bedroom to finally sleep. Chris was already knocked out the moment he hit the bed but I was wide awake. I could hear Chris snoring quietly next to me but I couldn’t seem to shut my eyes. The same thing was stuck in my mind.

Leave, this isn’t where you belong. Leave, this isn’t where you belong, Leave, this isn’t where you belong.

My thoughts were right. This wasn’t right. Chris isn’t the one I should be with. So, I did what my thoughts told me to do. I packed everything and left, for good.

-

(2 years later)

“We need you at 9am sharp tomorrow, you hear me?” My manager tells me. I nod at him. “Yes sir.” He nods back at me and looks at the time. “You’re dismissed.” I smile at him and walk out the building when someone crashes into me.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry are you okay?” I ask frantically and look up but my face drops. I immediately recognize that face.

“Matt?!” I scream. He looks at me shocked for a moment but without another word, he pulls me into a bone crushing hug. I laugh into the hug and squeeze him tighter. “Y/n! I can’t believe it’s you-“ He pulls away still holding me. “Where have you been?! You disappeared years ago and I was devastated!” Matt shouts at me. I shake my head at him and smile. “I’m sorry Matt, I wish I would have reached out but I was getting my life together and finally figuring out who I am.” I smile at him. Matt smiles down at me. “I sent you countless texts I was so worried.” Matt admits.

I laugh and look down at our feet then back up at his face. “You got….taller and handsome.” It was true. I was up to Matt’s chest and Matt got more tattoos and had a more defined face shape. Matt laughs and shakes his head. “Thanks! You look amazing!” Matt smiles. “Thanks!” I reply.

We stare at each other for a few minutes just admiring each other. This interaction with Matt felt…different, different than all the other interactions I had with him. I felt something like a switch was just activated and he was what felt like the missing piece all this time. Matt felt so different now. He was something that I felt like I needed.

I clear my throat and speak up. “H-how’s Nick and Chris? I know that I left you guys but I still cared about you guys.” I ask and let go of Matt and wipe my hands on my pants. Matt smiles at me. “Nicks good, he was really sad when you left but he’s doing great now and Chris..let’s just say he wasn’t doing good the first few months you left, he was a crying mess and he moved back in with us and never talked to any of us. But, now he’s doing great. He got himself up and became a better person and he got a new girlfriend, they started dating about a year after you left.” Matt finishes.

My jaw drops a bit and I swear I heard my heart crack a bit.

I look down again and close my eyes. “Who’s Chris’s new girlfriend?” I ask and look back up at Matt. Matt’s face changes a bit. “You’re not gonna like it.” He says. I shake my head side to side. “I’ll be fine, I mean it’s been 2 years Matt.” I laugh nervously. Matt takes in a breathe and looks around before turning back to me. “I-it’s Talia.” Matt replied. My eyes widen a bit but they quickly return to normal when I realize they were bulging out my head for 3 seconds straight.

It goes silent again, neither of us not knowing what to say next.

“Where’s your car? I could walk you there?” Matt suggests. My mouth opens but closes. “It’s in the repair shop right now, something’s wrong with the engine and it’s been in the shop all week so I’ve been ubering around.” I say. Matt opens his mouth and nods in an understanding motion. “I could drive you to mine, saves money.” Matt offers. I shake my head. “I couldn’t.” “It wouldn’t hurt, you could say hi to Nick.” Matt pleads.

I sigh and look down again.

“Alright.”

-

Matt unlocks the front door to their house and lets me in. “It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve been here.” I whisper. Matt laughs lowly and walks up behind me. We walk into the living room and are met with Nick slumped on the couch. Once he hears footsteps he immediately speaks. “Mattttt I’m hungry can we order pizza-“ Nick stops talking once he looks up and sees me standing in front of Matt. “Oh my god.” Nick whispers and stands up and runs to tackle me. I laugh and hug him back.

“Y/n!!” Nick screeched. “Hi Nick!”

Nick squeezes me some more before finally letting go and staring at me. “You look so…different.” Nick says. “Yeah a lot of things changed.” I laugh. “Matt where did you find her?” Nick asks and looks behind me to Matt. “I found this hobo wondering on the street.” Matt laughs out loud. My jaw drops and Nick starts laughing with him. “That is not true! I was walking out of work and bumped into him!” I say and laugh a bit.

There suddenly were footsteps approaching the room and my heart started to race once I heard them. Chris came from around the corner and once he spotted me, I could tell sadness dawned on him. He looked very different. His hair was nicely cut and he also had a nice face shape and he looked way more mature than last time I saw him. We both stared at each other in shock both taking in each other’s views. Chris suddenly lunges at me and squeezes the air out my lungs.

I had no time to comprehend what I was doing. I was hugging Chris back. That was the moment I realized how much I actually missed him. I suddenly felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I blinked repeatedly. I could feel Chris breathing against me as he continues to latch onto me. He held me like I was gonna vanish into thin air. I heard Chris breathing and I could tell that he was holding in tears.

We both pull back and stare at each other.

“Is it really you, y/n?” Chris asks in a broken voice. “Yes Chris, it’s me.” I reply. Chris wipes my tears and stares in my eyes.

“Look y/n, I know how bad I was to you. Once you left I realized my mistakes and it dawned on me so much and after a while I decided to become a better person for you and I’d always ask myself when I’m doing something ‘what would y/n think of this?’ The truth is I loved you, a lot and commitment was scary to me and I just felt like I couldn’t be good to you so I was stupid and ended up hurting you.” Chris ranted.

My face was taken over with shock as I stared at Chris.

“Chris, it’s alright. All I know is that you became a better person and in some weird way, me leaving worked out for you.” I reply and smile at him. He smiles back and laughs a bit.

Chris turns to Nick and Matt behind me. “Why don’t we all hang out?”

-

It was now dark outside and Nick and Matt fell asleep a while ago. I knew I had a shift early in the morning but I didn’t care. I was focused on the movie when Chris taps my left shoulder. “Follow me.” Chris whispers and stands up and grabs the snacks we were eating and a blanket we were using and leads me to the front door. “Take this.” Chris whispers again and hands me the blanket. I smile brightly at him. “What are we doing?” I ask.

Chris holds up a finger to his mouth and shushes me and leads me outside. Chris closes the door behind me and grabs my hand, running down the street. “Chris where are we going?!” I laugh. “You’ll see!” He replies and continues to run. After a few minutes of running, we make it to the playground, the same very playground Chris and I would go late at night all those years ago. I felt like crying when I saw it. “Chris…no you didn’t just bring me here.” I whisper.

Chris giggles shortly and drags me up the structure and to the same spot we’d lay down in and watch the stars together. I lay down the blanket and we both lay on our backs and look up at the night sky. It seemed so beautiful and peaceful tonight.

“So Talia, huh?” I ask. Chris looks at me then back at the sky. “Yeah..she’s a better person now, trust me!” He says. I chuckle and place my hand on my stomach. “Doesn’t this..bring back memories?” I asks Chris and stare up into the never ending darkness. Chris nods from beside me. “Yeah, a lot.” He replies.

“Look at us, we’re two 22 year olds at a playground watching the stars. Who are we?” I laugh and so does Chris. “This is a place that will always be special to us.” Chris speaks. I nod.

It goes silent again.

“Y’know, I used to come here every night after you left and stare into the stars remembering you.” Chris admits. I turn my head to look at Chris but he just stares up. I turn my head back to the sky and point to the brightest star. “Remember what I told you all those years ago?” I lower my finger. Chris nods again. “I remind you of the brightest star because I was always outgoing and the brightest star of them all, how could I ever forget.” Chris repeats my words from ages ago and looks at me. I laugh a bit and close my eyes and listen to the nature.

“I think-“ I pause as Chris looks at me. “I think I like Matt.” I breathe out. Chris sighs and looks back up. I turn my head to him and he shakes his head. “Y/n, you know I’ll support you no matter what. Matt always liked you if you never noticed.” Chris replies. I feel butterflies in my stomach and stare at the stars. “Really?” I turn to Chris. He turns to me and nods and looks back up again. “Even if we aren’t lovers anymore, you’ll always have a special place in my heart that you will always have.” Chris whispers.

I look at him and smile brightly.

“Same goes for you lover boy.” We both laugh and look at the sky again.

“I’ll always love you, my star.”

——————————————

a/n: bro i got so carried away while writing this but i think it turned out pretty good!! lemme know what you guys think i know that the events in this story are all over the place i tried to match the req but if it doesn’t, then im sorry. anyway enjoy!!

no taglist this time bc i’m to lazy

[se4son-of-the-witch]

if you take requests (i cant find anything saying u do or dont) could you PLEASEEEEEE write a nick smut (male reader obviously) like top reader and subby nick, like overstim please 🙏

one more - nick sturniolo

in which the reader makes nick overstimulated

nick x male reader !

warning: smut!!!

┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊

The sound of moans filled the room as you continued to thrust into Nick. He gripped onto the sheets for dear life, eyes rolled back into his head. You had already made him cum twice tonight and didn’t plan on stopping until he said to.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunted out. Your hand found its way to his throat, gently wrapping around it. You applied a bit of pressure, making Nick gasp.

“You like that, hm?” He moaned in response, too overcome with pleasure to form words. A smirk spread across your face as you continued to thrust into him, picking up the pace.

As your thrusts got faster, you felt Nick clench around you, making you bite back a whimper. He wrapped his legs around you, making you go even deeper. “Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

After a few more thrusts, Nick let out a loud moan. His eyes rolled back as he gripped onto your arms, white ropes of cum shooting from his cock. His legs began to tremble making you smirk. “Fuck,” he breathed out. You pulled yourself out of him, making him let out a sharp breath.

You dipped your head down, dangerously close to his cock. You licked your way from his base up to his stomach. His eyes locked on you as you began to lick up his cum, his stomach tensing with every move of your tongue.

As you finished, you moved your way back down. Your lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, which was pink and irritated. “I can’t, too much,” Nick mumbled. You pulled yourself off of him, a string of saliva hanging from your mouth.

“C’mon, baby. Give me one more.” He looked down at you, his eyes filled with desperation. “You know what to say when you really want me to stop.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip once more, sucking on the sensitive skin. Nick’s hand found your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands. You let out a moan as he tugged on your hair, sending vibrations through his body. He whined above you, making you smirk on his cock.

Soon enough, you moved your head down, taking most of his length in your mouth. You bobbed your head, moving up and down at a fast pace. Above you, Nick’s face contorted with pleasure. The wet sound of saliva was enough to make you rut your hips into the mattress, trying to relieve your own ache.

Nick’s hips bucked into your face, making him hit the back of your throat. A loud gag left your mouth, causing Nick’s hips to stutter. “Shit,” he cried out. Your hands found his balls, slowly massaging them.

“F-fuck, I can’t,” Nick breathed out. Before you could remove yourself, Nick firmly held your head against him. His hips furiously bucked, fucking himself into your throat. A mix of saliva and his precum spilled down your chin, creating a filthy mess.

You couldn’t help but gag as Nick abused your throat. “I’m gonna cum,” he moaned out. You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. His eyes rolled back, too overwhelmed with pleasure.

Soon enough, you felt warm spurts of cum down your throat. Nick pulled your head away, his thighs beginning to shake. You wiped off your face, taking a deep breath. Nick rested against the headboard, heavily panting.

You crawled up to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. “You did so good for me. Now it’s my turn.” He looked into your eyes, a mixed emotion on his face. “I wanna ride you,” you whispered.

“I’m too sensitive, I-I can’t,” he breathed out. You gripped his chin, placing a kiss on his lips.

“You haven’t said your word yet, so you’re fine, baby.” He gave you a nod, making you smirk. You moved your way back down, settling on his lap. You grabbed his cock, making him let out a hiss from the sensitivity.

You slowly stroked it, keeping intense eye contact with him. He whined as you touched him, making you even more needy. After a second, you hovered above him, lining him up with you. You sunk onto his cock, making him grip the sheets. Your eyes shut as you sank onto him, taking him fully inside you.

You reached for his shoulders as you began to bounce up and down. He turned his head letting out a whimper. You grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. “Fuck, Nick. You’re so big, so full,” you groaned out.

Nick tried to keep his composure as you rode him, but he was starting to get overstimulated. It didn’t help that you were placing kisses on his neck, driving him even crazier.

As you picked up your pace, Nick let out a whine. “Red!” he called out. You pulled yourself off of him, sitting beside him. He threw his head back, his thighs beginning to viciously tremble.

You placed your hand on his thigh, trying to soothe him. “You did so good for me, baby,” you whispered. He looked over to you, giving you a weak smile. “I mean you came four times tonight,” you said with a chuckle. Nick turned away from you, softly laughing.

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a/n: hopefully this was good, I’ve never written gay smut before 😭 and I’m always down for requests, so don’t be afraid to send one !

[veayrss]

Second chance lovers?

Theodore Nott x reader

[Angst] Fluff Spicy

Warnings: swearing, arguing, toxic theo, LMK IF I MISSED ANY.

꧁★☽𖦹☾★꧂

Theodore Nott. Your ex boyfriend, why you may ask? Well he cheated on you with your raven claw friend Presca flowtop. You walked in on them fucking. God you were furious.

Two years down the Drain on some nimwhit like him. But Merlin were you in love with that nimwhit. But when you walked in they noticed after a few seconds and hurried with their clothes. You fought the butch then next day, and LORD it felt amazing.

But in that moment of seeing them, all you wanted to do was beat the shit out of Nott, but also cry in his arms. He was your safety net and vice versa. Not any more though, that was four months ago.

And right now your in the middle of the hall way lost in thought, but once that bell rang it snapped you out of it and you ran to snapes class room.

You do not want be late again, merlin knows what he would do.

As soon as you enter the class you were the third person there. You sigh in relief and take your seat. This is your LEAST favorite class for many reasons. You hate snape, it’s the first class of the day, and it’s with Nott.

Like your good at potions, your not failing but your not amazing at it. Your in the middle which is where you want to be at this moment.

You take out your book and quill and open to the page your going over today and then take out some parchment.

While doing so you hear someone pull out a chair and sit down, thinking it’s your friend ginney you turn to say hi but realize it is not Ginney. But a skank.

He gives you a small smile and greets you, “hey Y/n.” You roll your eyes and ignore him, he’ll have to leave when ginney arrives and she’s usually early to class on most days.

Hopefully that’s today, so you grab your ink and place it opening it dipping your quill in it and start writing the date and your name.

Theodore sighs turning fully to face you, “come on y/n. You can’t ignore me forever.” He says quietly trying not to alarm anyone in the class, yes it’s early which means it’s kind off empty. But that also means it’s very quiet, so just raising your voice a tad bit is loud.

You look over at him in disbelief and scoff is he really serious right now? “Watch me Nott.” I told him, already annoyed with a few words he’s spoken.

His face scrunched up at the use of his last name, he doesn’t mind if it’s other people, hell he prefers other people to use that name when talking to him but you.

Never the less he rolls his eyes “come on N/N.” He scoffs back. ‘Is talking to me that bad?’ He wonders, missing the conversations you both used to have before everything was better.

i scoff again, why is he even calling me by my nick name? Since when has he gotten that privilege again? “Stop calling me that. And leave me alone.” I tell him still not giving him a single glance.

His face slightly sours but before he can say anything else he moves his seat hearing snapes footsteps but before he leaves he says, “Fine.” his hands clenched in fists as he moves and sits down, and looks out the window.

I sigh listening to the teacher, Professor snape, as the whole class is now here. He says we need partners for the potions project and he’s picking them himself.

As he says names he says mine, then he says Theodore Nott, i groan and look over at Nott. Snape literally hates me and he’s clearly out to get me.

We get up and move to sit with our new partners. I sit down next to him. Snape hands is the instructions on what we have to do and I groan knowing this will most likely take a week.

Theodore hears your groan and rolls his eyes. “Oh for Merlin’s sake. I don’t want you as a partner either.” You internally laugh at how quickly his opinion and feelings can change.

You make a fake pouty face “didn’t you want to talk to me five seconds ago?” I say in a teasing tone. He scoffed, “Yeah five seconds ago, but now I realize how annoying you are.”

You roll your eyes and ask, “When do you want to do the project. I wanna hurry up and get it over and done with as soon as possible.” He shrugs. “After class I guess. But I’m warning you I’m Not doing all the work.”

“Ok?” You look him up and down annoyed, ‘god he’s so fucking- I have no words to describe this boy.’ You thought, then continued to pay attention to class.

Theo watches you, bored. his eyes lingering on every small movement, the smallest facial expression, every time you hear a small noise and look that way, every time you move your hair out of your face.

꧁★☽𖦹☾★꧂

after class you start packing and Presca walks over to theo hugging him, then making eye contact with me smirking. You scoff, you do not wanna deal with that today or ever.

Theo rolls his eyes at something kind of hard to tell, before greeting her back and awkwardly hugging her.

You watch, your eyes start to get watery, you leave before you can make scene. As you walk away you mumble ‘jackass’ and walk out of the class pissed off and hurt.

Theo chuckles to himself before getting up and following you. You can tell Nott is following you, annoyed with the boy you confront him still walking to the library to get books. “what the fuck do you want Nott.”

Theo smirks behind your back. “I want to see if my ex is okay is all.” He shrugs before reaching your side and slightly touches your hip assuming it’s to stop you from walking any farther.

You smack his hand away “don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. And don’t look at me. I’ll do my part of the project and you do yours.” You told him, staring at him with a look of mixed emotions.

He sighs. He was hoping for a response, but that wasn’t the one he wanted. He just wants to talk to you. His hand rests back on your hip, but this time he doesn’t budge after you try to move it. “I’m just talking to you, calm down.”

You move out of his grip “if you wanted to talk to me then you should have never cheated.” You say with a scoff before trying to leave again. Are you overreacting? Probably who knows. But what he did was just a few months ago.

The wound is still fresh, you still feel angry and mad at him for what he did. It’s not like in four months you can just stop caring for a two year relationship that ended horribly. And just simply have small talk and spend time with him.

Theo catches your arm again not letting you leave. “just wait for a goddamn moment!” He says, his voice sounding harsh, and a little demanding.

You groan. “god your fucking tiring what do you want?!” You say, on the verge of pulling out your hair. Theo stares directly into your eyes. “I want you Y/n.” He says sounding somewhat sincere..?

 that doesn’t matter though, you stare at him in disbelief, “like I said-you should’ve thought about that before you- hm- oh! cheated four months ago.” Theo scoffed “Are you that sensitive? You know I was drunk.” He said, looking at you with a raised eyebrow, but you know he was lying. Theo doesn’t drink on school days- and he simply wasn’t drunk.

And with him lying trying to save his ass just pissed you off. You began to raise your voice, people now starting to look at you both, “drunk my ass! The only thing you were was high off your ass! And that isn’t an excuse!”

Theo chuckles lightly. “I admit it I was high. But you’re being such a baby about it! It was 4 months ago, let it go.”

You start laughing at how ridiculous he sounds, then you look at him, “so I cheated on you with mattheo your best friend you wouldn’t be mad?” You ask egging him on knowing he would get mad.

Theo doesn’t speak for a few seconds. He looks at you with a stone cold stare, trying his best to not let that theory affect him. but after a while he spoke. “I wouldn’t care.” He shrugs. And then laughs. “Mattheo has nothing on me anyways. Why would you cheat on me with him?” Theo scoffs.

“Maybe because he would treat me better then you ever did.” You said tearing up out of anger. not caring if it hurt theos feelings or not because at this point you were done.

Theo laughed at you for saying that. It was a cruel laugh. As he took a deep breath to continue laughing, once he stopped he saw your tear stained cheeks and then new ones coming down. his face changed to one that was soft and remorseful for a second, but he refused to let you see it. “I treated you fine darling.” He said.

“Maybe in the beginning. Not in the end.” You say wiping your tears, every one now looking at you both in the hall making you embarrassed.

Theo doesn’t acknowledge the stares. He simply looks at you with a smirk and his eyes slowly travel the length of your body from top to bottom before he spoke again. “Don’t cry darling, you’re not the victim here.” He said, chuckling you couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

But the heat of the moment got the best of you. So you slap him in the face, shocking him. “fucking hate you.” You told him before turning to leave to the slytherin common room.

Theo’s eyes widen before he quickly grabs your wrist. “No! Don’t you dare walk away.” Theo says in a demanding voice. You yell has he grabbed you, “Let go Theodore!”

Theo didn’t let go of your wrist, his grip tight, but not painful he had no intention of hurting you, he never did. “No. Calm down and we can talk about this privately. Stop making a scene!”

You struggle in his grip ignoring what he’s saying. “let go!” you yell still crying, everyone gathers around whispering. Theo looks down at you, his eyes staring down into yours. As you struggle he slightly loosens the grip, making sure he’s not hurting you. “No, Y/n relax.”

“I don’t want to talk at all anymore! We did you clearly don’t feel bad about cheating. Just let go!” You yell at him, voice all hurt begging him to let go.

Theodore’s eyebrows raise. He scoffs a bit before his eyes rest on yours. “You’re really not making this easy, darling.” He puts you down but not letting go of your hips in a gentle grasp, but strong enough that you can’t leave.

You try to push him back, “do you not get it?” But it doesn’t work.

Theo was stubborn, as he tried to bring you somewhere more private, but you don’t budge. “Enough Nott!” And this time you push him hard enough having him stumble back. Mattheo, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, and Enzo runs over. Enzo and Pansy helping me, and Draco and Blaise trying to reason with theo to drop it and mattheo yelling at theo.

Theo’s eyes instantly goes to everyone. “You all, stay out of this this is between me and Avery.” Theo says with a annoyed and frustrated voice.

mattheo scoffed telling him “she clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you!” Mattheo yells at theo poking his chest harshly, “leave theo your breaking the poor girls heart even more.” Pansy said rubbing my back as I hug Enzo, theo getting a bit jealous at that.

Theo was getting angrier and annoyed by the second, he wanted to tell everyone to fuck off and take you away from Enzo’s arms, as he saw you hugging him, his jaw slowly clenching.

Blaise sighs and yells at circle around us “show is over you fucking assholes! Go fuck off!” And everyone starts to leave. Then everyone but theo leaves with you, to pansy’s room leaving Theodore in the middle of the hallway.

꧁★☽𖦹☾★꧂

Part two? YAY or NEY.

[st4rgzer]

INTRODUCTION

GRACIE ִ ࣪𖤐

(she/her). aries. multifandom

pinterest: ih3artst4rzz

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･

» who i will write for

⭒charlie kelmickes

⭒cam cameron

⭒conrad fisher

⭒chris sturniolo

⭒matt sturniolo

⭒nathan doe

⭒rafe cameron

⭒colby brock

⭒jake webber

» masterlist!

matt sturniolo

chris sturniolo

nathan doe

charlie kelmickes

benoftheweek

spencer reid

» taglist

comment to be added!

fandoms ☾

sturniolo triplets

tsitp

the perks of being a wallflower

the office

BOUNDARIES!! (please read before requesting)

I write SWF only and don’t feel comfortable writing NSWF (minor)

no smut🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

bad at writing it and honestly makes me uncomfy

no nick x reader shit if it’s fem, if it’s male reader then ofc!

no current sh (self harm) or current eating disorders, I will however write recovered

I will write suggestive things like kissing, but that is it!!